Things You NEVER Say To Someone Who Had an Abortion

How you respond when someone tells you she's had an abortion can make all the difference in her healing and hope. If you want to help someone heal after abortion, watch this video to learn what not to say and how to judge your intentions before you open your mouth.
⚓HELP AFTER ABORTION
Support After Abortion: www.supportafterabortion.com
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QUESTION: What questions or topics do you want me to cover? Drop it in the comments!
✝ BIBLE REFERENCE
If I were to speak with eloquence in earth’s many languages, and in the heavenly tongues of angels, yet I didn’t express myself with love, my words would be reduced to the hollow sound of nothing more than a clanging cymbal. 1Corinthians 13:1 www.bible.com/bible/1849/1CO....
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Check Out My Books Here:
Where Do Broken Hearts Go? Healing and Hope After Abortion amzn.to/3HX3yhj
Learning to Follow Jesus: A Guide for Women amzn.to/39MlVsA
🎵🎵 MUSIC FOR HEALING
If We're Honest by Francesca Battistelli
• Francesca Battistelli ...
⏰TIMECODES⏰
0:00 - Good Intentions
0:46 - Bad Examples
3:12 - Reflection Questions
Whitney Goodman, LMFT, Things You Say That Make It Harder To Heal
www.collabcounseling.com/blog...
#abortionguilt #abortiongrief #traumahealing
About: In this video Jane explains how we can do more damage than good with statements and questions that condemn and judge women who've had abortions, no matter how good our intentions.

[@WilliamAbbate]

Wise, caring words.

[@mymentorjane6705]

Thank you!

[@johnnytoronto1066]

If she's distressed and actually confides in you, get her to a priest. Confession is a great healer.

[@mymentorjane6705]

If she’s a practicing Catholic, receiving the sacrament of Reconciliation can be very healing. If she is not, or she has and not found relief through confession, talking directly to Jesus is a next step. He told us to keep asking, knocking, and he’s always listening. Thank you for watching and commenting. I hope you’ll watch and share more of my videos. I appreciate your help.

[@odysodys1098]

Life is full of incredibly difficult decisions for which humans have little or no preparation. Learn from the past and move forward with greater wisdom.

[@mymentorjane6705]

This is so true and good advice. Thank you for watching and commenting.

[@tombrown7654]

On Pre-Meditated-Murder In The Downward-Spiral of ROMANS 1:18-32 > > > FROM HEAVEN - JOHN 3:3

[@mymentorjane6705]

You've helped make my point. Your comment, well-intentioned I hope, is an example of what stops women from seeking help and healing. You use the word 'murder' and we suffer by taking on these labels as our identity, forgetting or not knowing about the grace of God. Jesus warned his followers about the sin of name calling (Matt. 5:21-22) With my channel, I'm trying to be courteous, truthful and tender and reflect the hope I've found in Jesus. The purpose of this particular video is to invite others to take a long look at the state of their own hearts because on the final day we will all give an "account for every careless word" Matt. 12:36 Thank you for watching and I hope you will return and watch more of these videos.

[@theresemalmberg955]

What about "pro-choice" people who also minimize the pain a woman goes through by saying that abortion trauma isn't real, or that it is caused by pro-lifers making rude comments like the ones you mentioned, or say "get over it, it wasn't really a baby, it was just a clump of cells?" What about the ones who say "Shout or celebrate your abortion?" It's not just all on one side. There are some pretty insensitive arguments being made on the pro-choice side as well. One of the saddest things is when a woman says to me, "I had an abortion that I did not want. But I didn't feel I had any other choice." Or when they tell me that their parents forced them to have an abortion when they were a teenager or an adult still living at home. I don't hear the "pro-choice" side talking about these women. They don't exist. Forced abortions don't exist. Not to hear the rhetoric, anyway. But we sure hear a lot about forced births, don't we? What we don't talk about is the lack of social support for the woman who wants to carry her baby to term but feels she has no other choice. When I hear a woman say, "I didn't want to have an abortion, but . . ." then what that is telling me is that we as a society have failed her, and that the choice she made is not truly HER choice but OUR choice. I've actually heard people defend abortion as being better for society because it means less poor people, and especially less poor people of color, for the rest of us to support with our taxpayer money. Now you won't hear that quiet part being spoken aloud at reproductive rights rallies, but it is there nonetheless. It's an "another one bites the dust" mentality, one less problem. So if a woman doesn't want to have an abortion but gets one anyway because she feels she has no choice, what's it to the rest of us? She should just be quiet about this. And talking about pain, trauma, we can't have that because that's jeopardizing our reproductive freedom. That's giving ammunition to the "other side." So this is why we cannot truly have honest conversations on this subject.

[@mymentorjane6705]

Such a heartfelt, important comment! Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I didn’t mean to imply the hurtful comments come from one side…they don’t. That’s why I included the 4 questions so that you can check your intentions (heart) before saying or asking anything. You’ve given me more to think about. Thank you for watching and commenting. I hope you’ll be back and watch and share comments on more of my videos. I think we are like minded. Take care.

[@theresemalmberg955]

@@mymentorjane6705 Back in the 1980's there was a group called Women Exploited by Abortion (WEBA); don't know if they are still around. This wasn't long after Roe v. Wade and emotions were running high. When these women went public with their stories of abortion regret, the overwhelming response from feminists, abortion providers, and those who considered themselves pro-choice was to viciously attack them and their stories. It was the 1980's form of cancel culture. These women were told point blank to shut up, that nobody wanted to hear their stories, that they were brainwashed, that they had indeed done a good thing. This was from the side that branded itself as caring and compassionate and the other side as not. I know, I was there. You simply could not say the things you are saying now and not get torn apart. I am only repeating what has been said to me as a pro-life woman by those who don't like my views and who consider me a monster because I don't think this should be a valid choice. Yes, a monster! As a result, I really don't know what to say when a woman says she has had an abortion, or worse, multiple abortions. I want to be compassionate--after all, I don't know the circumstances and maybe she didn't really have a choice, but, it seems to me that the "choice" side isn't really interested in steering women in any direction but the abortion clinic. The recent attacks on clinics offering abortion alternatives should give anyone pause. Choice isn't choice when it only goes one way. I don't pretend to be for choice; I think there are some choices that simply shouldn't be made and definitely should not be encouraged or celebrated. But that is not good enough. Well, I am not going to be a hypocrite and say I believe in one thing when I actually believe in another. I believe that abortion hurts and exploits women, that it is not a good thing, that we can do better, and that it is a tragedy for both mother and child. I believe women have been lied to by the abortion industry which is massively profiting off their misery (how come nobody ever talks about Big Abortion like they talk about Big Oil and Big Pharma--oh, I get it, that's individual choice we are talking about). I further believe that now that do it yourself home abortions are now possible thanks to certain drugs, you are going to see an increase in abortion-related trauma as women come face to face with the actual physical reality of what they are aborting. And that too will be covered up for a time. That is why I cannot support "choice". That is why a lot of people like me cannot support "choice." And that is why the "choice" side really does not want to hear stories like yours, not openly. That is why the women of WEBA were attacked so viciously. They were and are a threat. They exposed what abortion is really all about and what it does to women. OMG, we can't have that! We have to have our rights! If these women keep talking like that, they might turn people pro-life! And then we will return to the Dark Ages! No, no, no, no. Remember, pro-lifers are the enemy. They are monsters, forced-birthers. We have to close the ranks. And meanwhile the women who are hurting fall through the cracks. They don't know where to turn; their side doesn't want to acknowledge them and they've been told so many horrible things or even, sadly, experienced them, about the other side, that they are afraid to go there.

[@rosevan7845]

Seems like we can 'what about' all day long. What about the women who wanted a baby and miscarried. What about the women who didn't want a baby yet and miscarried, do we blame god? Do they also not exist? There are as many reasons for abortion as there are women and a spontaineous abortion causes emotion just like a planned abortion but not the same ones in all women. Giving birth is life altering and often life ending. I think you may not be listening if you don't hear the 'pro choice side' talk about exactly whose choice it is. I think it is hard to empathise with someone when you are climbing on your high horse and the first thing that goes is your hearing. The fact that women give birth is enough for her to be called a monster, it really matters who is name calling. The fact that there are people who think that their values should be forced on someone else does not make the values better or worse, it makes the person doing the forcing worse. I don't have an emotional rant to type up for half a page, I just trust others to do what is best for them at the time and encourage kindness and learning over judging something I am not omnipotent enough to judge.

[@mymentorjane6705]

I appreciate your reply and I read it thoroughly. I was not familiar with WEBA so thank you for sharing that info. No human being, as created by God, should be called a 'monster' and I am so sorry that happened to you and so many. I share your concern about the medication abortion and agree that the trauma impacts are going to be far greater than surgical abortions as time goes on. The goal of my channel is not to provide a forum for pro-life/pro-choice debate, altho I understand why that will happen. My focus is on those who have experienced abortion and are suffering. My goal is to show compassion and support so that they feel safe to reach out for help and to direct that to trustworthy resources. Take care and hope to see you back on my channel with comments and input.

[@mymentorjane6705]

I appreciate your watching my channel and taking the time to comment. I hope you will be back for more videos and that you will share the content with women who've experienced abortion in case it would be helpful. I connect with your desires for empathy, kindness, learning and non-judgment. That's what I hope my videos convey so that women who are suffering after abortion, no matter why or how they got there, regardless of their POV on abortion, would be able to find healing and hope. Take care.

[@yvonnegourlay2557]

Jesus, Almighty God 🙏 loves ❤ you more than you could possibly comprehend! He died for your sins, my sins and the sins of the world. Jesus stands with His arms opened wide, hoping and willing to heal, forgive, cleanse, strengthen and purify us. He is waiting to receive you with all love! He deeply desires a personal relationship with each and every one of us! RELATIONSHIP NOT RELIGION! Draw near to God and He will draw near to you, there is no repentance in the grave: There is no conversion after the last breath is drawn. Now is the time to believe in Christ and to lay hold of eternal life (J C Ryle). God has revealed Himself to us in the glory of creation, in the perfection of the written word and in personal experience of all who seek Him. Prayer 🙏 is giving our attention to God in a two-way Spiritual relationship where we talk to God and also listen to Him, you can pray 🙏 to God, through Jesus in the privacy of your own home (pray from your heart). God speaks to your heart because He loves you and wants to interact with you. So often we don't wait for God to speak after we've finished laying down our requests. Sadly, we don't watch for God to act in our lives. Did you know that God speaks to us through the Bible? The Holy scriptures Old and New Testaments, are the written Word of God, given by divine inspiration through holy men of God who spoke and wrote as they were moved by the Holy Spirit. The gift of the Holy Spirit is one of God's greatest gifts to us. Through the Holy Spirit we may know that God lives and that Jesus is the Christ! Scripture is always the voice of God in the general sense that God inspired the words of Scripture (2 Tim 3:16). God can also speak specifically to us through the Bible, by drawing a particular passage to our attention because the Word of God is living and active (Heb 4:12). We can say that it is God's primary way of speaking to us. Any other communication must be based and tested by what is taught in Scripture. The Holy Bible is God's guide for us, so we can reach Him, the only true living God and hear back from Him! Jesus is returning in the not so distant future!

[@mymentorjane6705]

I agree with what you've said dear friend in Christ. If only the women and men who've experienced abortion and are suffering from guilt, shame and heartbreak could know this like you and I. Let's keep praying! Thank you for watching and commenting. I hope you'll watch more videos.