Thinking Differently About Same-Sex Attraction - 2018 Fair Mormon Conference

[@jeremymichel3042]

Thank you JEFF Robinson. I loved these parts. The ideas that it is simply "something you know how to do is compatible" with: 28:16 "if a gay man has an identical twin there is an 80% chance that his identical twin will not be gay" 28:30 "Those born and raised in large cities have a higher chance of experiencing same sex attraction than those who are raised in small towns and rural communities". 28:50 "there appear to be cultures in which same sex attraction does not exist. In some cultures, at least for men, some form of same sex attraction appears to be almost universal it was the norm all men were sexually attracted and aroused by other men; ancient Rome, ancient China, Greece, other cultures". 30:42 "they were recruiting people for me who said I've overcome same sex attraction I'm happily married,... I sat down and interviewed these individuals, they said I could still do it"

[@troy3143]

This has brought so much clarity to my life. I never thought of it as just something I knew how to do. Thank you SO MUCH for this. Blessed be the name of the most high God!! 🤍🤍🤍

[@rogertorres1942]

I finally took time to review this video and I will say that it is good that a person of his professional background is trying to help his brothers and sisters in the gospel to understand better regarding gay individuals in the church. I will use this to start my comments, "Your ways are not my ways nor your thoughts my thoughts" said the Lord and even though people try to understand the why individuals are gay, it is easy to surmise from their own backgrounds and experiences what they believe it is. Unless you have walked in the shoes and paths the Lord has placed each of us on, you can never know clearly but try to relate from your own experiences what it may be like. From an early age, 4, I knew I was attracted to guys, never knew why nor thought it was wrong. As he stated in this talk, "you just know" is correct. As a bird just knows who he is, so did I. I may not know the label associated with it, but it was natural, innocent and pure. However, I was taught it was wrong through family, church and society. I thought, as many do, I was the only one like this. I love the Lord and many blessings and spiritual experiences He has given and shown me. The biggest question I had for the Lord is not why I am this way, but why did He provide me with many spiritual experiences in my life, including important callings, when the church itself called me immoral in the church manuals? Why was His church condemning me when I did nothing but adhere to what was expected of me as a follower of Him? We are all created exactly the way the Lord wanted us to be. Why are there positive scriptures in the Old and New Testament regarding "gay" people? Why is there nothing in the inspired works regarding this negative attitude? For those who will think of the word sodomite make sure you understand the ancient and modern meaning before commenting. Why was there positive comments by Joseph Smith? If who we are, both straight and gay, created naturally and as Brother Bednar indicated in a Q&A that we are all born with an "inclination" to be straight or gay, then we are all created perfectly and the expectation to fulfill the measure of that creation. However, individuals who are "straight" can have romance, hold hands, kiss and show affection, marry and enjoy life with a companion without any issue while in the church manual it is totally immoral for a gay person to do the same. Abstain from your creation and be something other. But are we not created equally? I think that this talk misses the point and tries to comfort our straight brothers and sisters and forget the pain of what his comments will do. The real question is if we are created with this "inclination" or whatever you want to label it, why are we treated "immoral" just by the creation of who we are? We are condemned before we do anything in life. Just by being "gay" we are looked upon and treated immoral. It feels as if who I am, of my creation and acceptance by the Lord, is unacceptable and feeling as Christ was before the Sanhedrin and they asked Him who He is. By Christ standing there, a living God, was a strong witness of His creation and who He is. He did not need to say anything. His presence was a witness. So likewise, by my creation I stand as a witness of the perfect love of Christ and our Father in Heaven of my creation. Does a bird need to justify its creation? It was created perfectly. So each of us also. Why is it difficult to understand that simple truth?

[@stephanieargyle7328]

We as sons and daughters of heavenly parents were never “created” to be gay. We experience same sex attraction in mortality for whatever complex reasons known or unknown, yet we are nonetheless expected to use our agency to choose living by the Lord’s standard (not practicing any form of sexual immoral behavior).

[@christopherrandallnicholson]

Shaking my head at all the people in the comments who clearly didn't watch the video or if they did, didn't listen to a word he said because they decided they already knew what he would say.

[@drmichaelshea]

Without a doubt, one of the most insightful, intelligent, sensitive, and considered expositions in the field of psychology I have ever heard, not just about sexual attraction, but about many other aspects of human growth and development. It is so simple, so intuitively obvious that it is no wonder the concept has escaped the understanding of so many “experts.” One of the things people “know how to do” is to consistently overlook, ignore, misinterpret, and promulgate information to the detriment of themselves and their fellow beings in the name of truth. What a great talk! Thanks.

[@rconger24]

Jeff Robinson, the guy giving the talk was my bishop for over four years. He understands all kinds of people.

[@CCMorgan]

That last question was answered so well. Social contagion is a real thing, even if people with high intellectual status pretend that it's not.

[@mrmanor101]

I’m LDS and gay and I’m getting tired of this stuff. People think they know but the don’t! The only reason we feel guilt and shame is because the church force upon us, not everyone at church but especially people like my bishop. I’m 22 and it’s just getting too much at this stage. Like the church put out messages saying to love LGBT people yet continuously I’ve heard members make snide remarks. Last week at church in a talk the speaker said “ we must not give into gay people who are trying to destroy families” it broke my heart as I don’t want to destroy any families. I love the church but I think I’m not supposed to be in it.

[@oliviarasmussen9889]

I’m bi and LDS. I havent really come out to people (partly because I dont think I need to, partly because of discrimination from certain people) but I love these talks. I know the whole “the church is perfect, the people aren’t” saying isnt always helpful but I think it is true. I love the church and the leaders for accepting us and loving us. Everyone says stupid things and theres homophobia EVERYWHERE. It doesnt make right or true in any way but God loves us and I do believe that.

[@lebotonton]

R' appel toi que Dieu est amour, Évêques ne s' ont pas Dieu

[@katbos4995]

Mr Ireland : I know 100s of gays. Not one single one wants to break up families. They all want to live their own lives, have relationships, create a family, and allow others to do the same. Oddly, Christians seem to think gays want to end families. I actually see the pressure to end families from the socialist/communist agenda that has seeped into our schools, media, music, and leftist politics. (I’m L married L)

[@Jpink-rd5hq]

I think you can belong to the gospel without having to be in. The. Church. I feel i dont belong to the church so im not in the. Church. I feel i belong to. The. Gospel spiritually inside of me. Outside of the church organization. I. Do not feel i fit in a organization that doesnt support same sex attraction.

[@SJKile]

No man can serve two masters. That inspiration to leave the Church isn’t coming from God. I would stick with God over Satan any day. That being said, I think this guy who gave the talk has some very valid points. You would do well to listen. He can help you hold on to the iron rod. After all, isn’t that what you want?

[@mycatwould]

Great lecture - very interesting. I’ve always felt it was very much a cultural thing as you see it more in the media in the western world over the past few decades, then blammo: 20% of American youth now identify as somewhere in the alphabet group; while many more isolated societies are strictly heterosexual, and can’t even begin to understand how a man could think he can be a woman / or woman a man. It’s because it’s what we learn we can or cannot do. Now that kids are being taught it’s ok to identify as animals or anything in the dictionary, how will this create a productive future society of adult human kitty cats and puppies?

[@hughplummer1808]

I was raised Mormon and homeschooled, I didn’t know what gay meant until well after experiencing same sex attraction. And I certainly was not exposed to it through learning, through seeing examples of it in my environment, through bullying, or through gay friends/family members. Once I identified these feelings I tried everything within my power to diminish these feelings of attraction and to create attraction towards women. To this day I have never experienced sexual arousal or even sexual thoughts towards women. I spent years of my life trying to convince myself to the possibility of settling down with a wife or even living within the church celibately, and in the end made the painful decision that I could not continue going to church as it was causing too much emotional and psychological trauma. And that if I continued on the path that I was leading it would end only in disaster. I realized that teachings that left me wishing for death, and actively seeking a means to accomplishing that goal couldn’t be effective for me. I do not think that this mindset would have helped me. If anything only delaying the inevitable, and perhaps worsening my anguish. And as someone who was raised Mormon and gay And did experience suicidal thoughts, I can tell you that the church and it’s teachings were definitely a contributing factor for my suicidal feelings. I knew that my family would never kick me out, that was the least of my worries. I was mainly worried about my eternal salvation, about making it to the celestial kingdom and being with my family for eternity. I can tell that this man means well, and for that I thank him. But I can’t say as someone who has experienced these things that I can agree with him, or recommend his approach.

[@BoMwarrior]

Thank you for your well-typed (& polite) explanation! 👍😊 Too often LGBT people aren't nice in their communication. Though with some of what you said, the thing is not everyone gets those feelings strictly via "nature". The whole "nurture" via society can make some change preference, temporarily or (almost) permanent. Still, what about the question to those he's advised and proposed in the video: *WHY does one have those feelings?* 🤔 I strongly believe that is the most important part of all he said, and I say more in a different comment about that. Anyway, hope you have a great weekend. 🙂

[@Dandeeman26]

I think honestly sometimes we should leave things we dont know as just that we don't know. I don't know if this explanation helps or hurts. I do suspect though that everyone that deals with this is a little different one thing helps one individual but probably not many others.

[@jacobchurch7581]

Assuming what you say is true (and I'm willing to) that would still not discredit the possibility that there are people out there identifying as gay as a result of other factors (which seems to be the capital F "fact" brought forward by his research), for whom it should be totally acceptable for them to seek counseling if they would prefer to adopt a different lifestyle.

[@BoMwarrior]

@@korvaamiko66, for some it is actually admittedly so. 🤷‍♂️ So Jacob Church's comment is fair from my experience. But yes, that's a term that shouldn't casually be thrown about. 😕 Some people haven't learned that yet (we all learn at different paces), so I've learned to be patient. 😉

[@katbos4995]

Thank you for choosing life. I too didn’t know about sex or gays...yet from the age of 3.5 knew which gender I was attracted to. I’m glad you’re alive. My brother killed himself at 21. He couldn’t get the feelings to stop. He died way before the “born that way” movement. A good friend from childhood who was a heart surgeon also killed himself. He too could not change it. I spent 44 years being extremely suicidal and the perfect molly Mormon, trying to change who I had been since 3.5 years old. I now live my truth and am no longer suicidal, and I am filled with peace and joy. I tried to change for the church and God. When I finally stopped trying, at 44...they chose to throw me in the trash (ex-comm)...when I married my wife. Ten years later...I’m more spiritual, happy, at peace than I ever dreamed possible. Thank you for choosing life and living your truth. Edit: Yes, I sought counseling, and “choose” a different lifestyle of temple marriage to a man. It did not change me in the least.

[@seaofglass77]

I am female and straight. But I'd like to share an experience from my time in the MTC ten years ago. I developed a huge crush on one of the elders in my group. I felt terrible. I'd never had string feeling like this before becoming a missionary. Why now, in the MTC, was I feeling these strong emotions? I realized just in time to arrive in the field, that I had a choice. God gave me that experience in the MTC so that I could learn that despite my feelings I had a choice about my actions and even my patterns of thought. This was very helpful because I served with many wonderful young men in whom it would have been easy for me to become romantically interested. But I knew I had the power to feel those feelings, but then choose to turn the switch off as it were. This has been a blessing in my dating life and in my marriage. Being attracted to men outside my marriage is something I know how to do. But my experiences and covenants help me make the choices that will make me happy.

[@seaofglass77]

@@adambeck369 I didn't mean to compare myself directly. I didn't mean to put down anyone's strugle. I only meant to share an experience. I guess u should have added that I understand my case was a very minor one compared to a life time of struggle. I sought to apply the points of the lecture to myself to better understand others. I realize my understanding will never be perfect.

[@benjameme]

Full stop. This is a completely different matter and while everyone's experiences are valid sharing this here only shows support that you think a lgbtq+ person can not just hold off desiring a partner for a short time, but for a lifetime. Jeff Robinson is only sharing his theories based off best guesses that revolve around his faith beliefs. Nothing more. I saw him multiple times and am aware of his twisted philosophies. They are wrong and harmful.

[@onedayatagirl]

@@benjameme I say, just jump in Ben. Don't worry what others say. This is your life and if you think your desires suit you, that's your decision. But being half in and half out of anything causes confusion and anger if someone challenges your choices. Choose wisely.

[@jeremymichel3042]

great insight

[@discoqueenmom]

I wonder if this could be applied to dysphoria and transgender stuff?

[@michaelscott873]

Those people need Jesus to make them a new person for sure.

[@jeremymichel3042]

It seems like a sociological issue just the same.

[@jbailey1898]

This is SPOT ON!!

[@mattlarsen8995]

🤯 articulated so well

[@31gundam]

I'm afraid I am going to have to rain on a few people's parades here. I notice from all the comments below the same matra of false excuses and platitudes of condoning same-sex sexual activity. I always hear the same bullcrap "I feel this way" This is who I am naturally or as God made me. Or I am in the closet and afraid to come out for fear of my family or bishop. Let me state flat out if you are gay and come out as such you will get no ridicule from me. Whether straight or gay we all have to live by the same standards. And although I cannot say I suffer from same-sex attraction for a large portion of my life I suffered from the opposite problem of the natural inclination of pornography. A physical attraction to the opposite sex which had been just as promoted and socially excepted in every facet of culture and that scores of doctors, experts,and so-called scientists have even promoted its indulgence despite its proven destructive and degrading effects upon family,women and society as a whole. regardless of the cross we have to bare these appeals to the natural state are the same insidious attacks Moses received from Satan after being told he was a child of deity. The first attack satan leveled at Moses was to debase him back to a worldy status by addressing him with term son of man. Every excuse to engage in any act. Notice I said act not state or condition is an appeal to the natural man or woman. If you say you naturally feel gay I can believe that although I do not believe that is the truth in all cases they range from natural genetics to the depravity of indulgence the peoples of Sodom and Gomorrah. sunk to. But it does not matter in the end we are asked to be saints not natural men and women. We are told to put off the natural men. And I am not slighting anyone who has a specific condition or weakness they are dealing with. We are created by God it is true but we are born into a fallen Telestial world and we are subject to all its frailties, shortcomings and problems whether those are mental, physical, spiritual, or temporal. This is why King David could honestly say he was a sinner from the womb. It is not literal but in the naturalized state and capacity completely accurate. so although I may not know specifically what someone with same-sex attraction is going through to say I can't understand when I have my own thorn in my flesh as Paul put it that has not been taken away the answer is not to embrace that thorn and let it define me but to do as Ether stated to let the lord turn my weaknesses into strengths. As one prominent media figure said who suffered from alcoholism once an alcoholic always an alcoholic. Incidentally,I still suffer from the same weakness. I have spent years asking God to take it away but what finally gave me the key to overcoming it was realizing that it wasn't going to go away. for whatever reason God has seen fit not to remove the temptation from me but has provided the means for me to overcome it. I watch it like a hawk all the time so I won't put myself into a position to be tempted and always keep my guard up and because of that I have now not only grown closer to the lord and feel worthy and have received personal revelation from the spirit to guide me. My faith has increased and my knowledge of him as grown as well because I chose to rely on him and keep the commandments even when naturally the world and my own body said otherwise. It has also been a blessing in my family because I was able to help my children avoid the pitfalls I fell into and others. I am free through christ because I rejected my natural self and aspired to be something more. If we say we are to embrace our natural desires and aspirations we are admitting we are no more than what satan and the world seek to debase us to an advanced animal lifeform ruled by their bodies and instincts rather than us ruling it. The pedophile naturally feels their attraction and their elements in our society pushing for the normalization of this practice. Men and women naturally have emotional and physical natural tendencies that are negative. they are to be overcome not embraced. If you think that straight people don't have to do it. I have relatives who chose to keep the law of chastity and live the commandments way into their elder years before they married so the question I pose to those here. I will help you in any way to bear the cross you have to carry without shame so long as you are striving to follow the iron rod. and I beg at the throne of grace for my imperfections like any of you. But I will stand up and lift up the standard that has been set and call you and myself out when we fall short not out of condemnation but as a warning and out of love. I can bare my cross will you? that is your choice but don't fool yourself into thinking it is the standard that is the problem and not you if you choose to become ashamed of the fruit of the tree of life and wander of of your own accord.

[@katrinad.571]

I genuinely appreciate your comment. It echoes the same thoughts and feelings I have on this matter.

[@thunderandrain09]

"All sexual attractions are acquired...." I have real difficulty with that statement.

[@Dandeeman26]

I can see your point. But my suggestion is know that a) this isn't doctrine you have no obligation to accept it and b) this is obviously a complicated and difficult issue many would like an explanation and he is only offering his explanation in Hope's it will help some.

[@rconger24]

The data supports it.

[@BoMwarrior]

I did too till the more I thought about it, and relistening to the way & what he said, it made more sense. 🤷‍♀️ Sometimes I don't take the time to figure out what someone means, but at least this time I did and it helped. 🙂

[@Dandeeman26]

@@korvaamiko66 being not out of line with doctrine and being doctrine are very 2 different things. If I said Jesus was a Prophet that wouldn't be out of line with doctrine. However it would be missing a lot! That Jesus was Jehova prior to being born. That He was born of a virgin mother or that He literally took upon Him all of our sins and transgressions that we could be made clean. That He willingly died to break the band's of death. That He is the Savior of the world and no one enters into the Kingdom but by Him. All of that would be lost it would be an incomplete statement easily twisted. Or one could have the opinion that polygamy was allowed in early church history because persecution killed so many men. This isn't out of line with what the Church teaches but one can easily conclude that it was not the only reason when one does a careful study of the Old Testament and finds Jacob and Abraham were both polygamists as well. Truth is we dont know is it wrong for someone to have various opinions on why polygamy was allowed? No so long as they follow the leaders of The Church and accept the fullness of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. Can someone learn new sexual attraction? I think I can not judge someone who is able to or who isn't. Here's why. I know for me a man I am not attracted to men. I dont want to learn to and dont think I could if I wanted to. Even on top of that over half of the women of my religion are not in an age bracket acceptable to me. Of those left far less than half am I attracted to physically. Far less. I've tried to date girls that I'm not attracted to because they showed interest in me I tried to make myself attracted to them I can't. Saying this I have tried really hard but it just doesn't work. One instance in particular I prayed super hard to see this girl differently so I could be attracted but my feelings didn't change. So I am still single because of the remaining pool I haven't found one with mutual interest in me. My point if I can't change who I'm attracted to it stands to reason there ate others who cant as well. Some of those born with same gender attraction? I think it likely. However laws of God dont change for me or them. I have to be married to a woman in a temple to receive the highest glory after this life. If I dont have the opportunity here there is an opportunity for that to happen on the other side. So an individual with same sex attraction does he have an opportunity on the other side if he lived a life of celibacy here because he couldn't see himself being happy entering in marriage with a woman? I give my opinion he would have that opportunity. Now for the Church wanting to punish gays this simply is not true. But when we dont follow the laws of God we become ineligible for His blessings. A heterosexual couple having a sexual relationship with each other outside of marriage can't be baptized. Neither can they if they are just living together. Neither can a homosexual couple having a sexual relationship together be baptized. None of these couples if they have been baptized previously enter into the Temple and inherit blessings received there either. So the church doesn't punish such individuals but when they choose to stay unrepentant of such behavior they choose to lose blessings. Same as someone who doesn't go to college chooses not to be a doctor. Or a professor ECT. is it hateful not to let me be a doctor even if I have only been to 2 years of school? There is a parallel here that is easy to see.

[@drewarmstrong4325]

I do as well. Let me ask all of you who are saying Yes to this... Are you literally saying you believe you could be taught to be GAY as a heterosexual person? Because this has to be a two way street if it is learned or learnable. Impossible I say.

[@CalledtoShare]

Very interesting comments. I'll have to watch this a few more times.

[@MrChipathenIsMyDoggo]

I need this! An answer to my prayers 🙏🏻💗. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us!

[@tristyquesadilla]

Jeff Robinson was my gay conversion therapist at age 14 in 2004. He used Evergreen International as well as some other materials. Awful.

[@lebotonton]

Il faut se rappeler que Dieu est amour

[@mark91345]

Very well thought out and expressed. It certainly mirrors many of the things I’ve experienced

[@kylenekelly3698]

So refreshing! He is able to articulate how I have felt about this issue for a long time. Grateful for him and his candor.

[@galenswenson9785]

Almost every straight male I know has an (at least seemingly) visceral disgust at the thought/sight of homosexual affection. I don’t believe your theory of “its just something you know how to do” can explain that.

[@rconger24]

I think it makes sense.

[@galenswenson9785]

His analysis and approach may be correct. (Especially, in reassuring gay people that they have a place and shouldn’t be embarrassed) I don’t care what people do behind closed doors. I enjoy being around gay people. I find people who happen to be gay more charming than the general population. However, I do believe it is true that many, if not most heterosexual males are horrified by the thought of being intimate with a man. My point being that if you’re gay, realize that many men, I believe, innately have an intense aversion to the act itself and may therefore (without having throughly thought through the matter) not treat you as nicely as you deserve to be treated

[@mark91345]

I would have preferred had he said "it's just something that comes naturally to you". That's certainly how it is with me. The word "do" throws me off.

[@katbos4995]

Mark M : Correct! You don’t have to “do” to be gay. Heterosexuals don’t have to have sex, and “do,” to know they’re straight.

[@suem6004]

@@katbos4995 But straight or normal do not attach 95 percent of their identity on sex. Why? Because they identify first as people.

[@williamturner6192]

Wait. Does my listening count as thinking in the language? I stopped at that point.

[@jeremymichel3042]

sorry my friend but you must listen to the end to make an educated opinion

[@iowaguy6470]

I know a mother who had 5 sons. 3 turned out gay.

[@Dub_97]

But one can experience unwanted arousal, and it not be a desire … soooooo…….. you don’t have to be “gay” to experience an unwanted psychological response..

[@adamfairbanks]

This guy says same sex attraction is acquired or learned just like a language is acquired or learned. He says kids don’t remember learning English but that doesn’t mean they didn’t learn it and that they can’t learn a different language later if they put in significant effort. He conveniently fails to address the obvious fact that a child learns a language because they are immersed in it 24 x 7. How does a child of heterosexual parents who experiences nothing but heterosexual modeling and instruction their whole childhood end up homosexual? I don’t know of a single person who was raised speaking only English to suddenly know how to speak Chinese fluently or even the least bit. Then he says let’s stop teaching homosexuals things we don’t know - like what is the cause of homosexually (nature or nurture or agency). But then he says he strongly believes and advocates to all his hundreds of patients over 25 years that the idea of “homosexuality being acquired like language” is “truth.” Regardless of what is the real cause, it seems hypocritical to tell people they shouldn’t claim homosexuality is caused by nature (born that way) because “we don’t know for sure” but then advocate strongly the concept that homosexuality is “acquired like a language” is “truth,” especially since homosexuality being “acquired like a language” is far less likely. The fact that he refuses to give an estimate of the percentage of his hundreds of patients who have successfully “learned another language” is very telling (that the number is likely extremely small and does not support his hypothesis that he feels strongly is “truth.”)

[@adamfairbanks]

Thanks. My point was his argument was not sound. Of course many people would like to be able to change sexual orientation. But his suggestion is similar to telling someone with Down syndrome they can learn how to be without Down syndrome.

[@knowjoe6016]

Yes, my thoughts exactly. Thank you for bringing logic to the table.

[@devonblake731]

You ever try to unlearn your primary language?

[@Drooper99]

He never says Homosexuality is learned by being exposed to it 24/7 at an early age. In fact he never explicitly states exactly how Homosexuality is developed. From what I understand that process is different for every person and that there are a myriad of factors which he listed. His comparison to learning a language and sexuality is only in what he said, nothing more. Some aspects of learning a language are similar to Sexuality. Some are not. It was an easy Strawman to continue the analogy and compare 2 things that do not make sense so as to "destroy" his argument.

[@Drooper99]

@@devonblake731 I would guess that unlearning your primary language is impossible. He said specifically that none of his clients ever unlearn how to be attracted to the same gender, but that he helps them expand their repertoire, so to speak, to learn new ways of attraction.

[@SJKile]

This is a very good talk that could apply to a lot of destructive behaviors.

[@rconger24]

Jeff Robinson, the guy giving the talk was my bishop for over four years. He understands all kinds of people.

[@jeremymichel3042]

@@rconger24 incredible guy! I would love him to train my stake leaders

[@paulogilvie4762]

Thank you!

[@hollyodii5969]

Interesting!

[@alexblake5743]

This is brilliant. This concept should be taught in the church broadly.

[@Dandeeman26]

I like the concept but it's not doctrine. This doesn't make it false but let's teach doctrine at Church.

[@rconger24]

Fifth Sunday stuff.

[@amandadangerfieldpiano]

That's a lot of hours of listening. 💜

[@moneymarty1]

Who set the mandate that sexual attraction must be the governing factor upon which a relationship should be based? The Lord loves me as much as he does His eternal companion - with a perfect, as well as INTIMATE love.There are sacred dynamics in a union that are to be kept within the bounds the Lord has set. The use of birth control in all its forms in my view are largely responsible for the perverse but widely accepted foundation of even some eternal marriages, to “express love” towards one’s mate by establishing an artificial emphasis that sexual intercourse makes up a large and necessary part of a stable relationship. It has the opposite effect in my view. It devalues procreative powers to some trivial “we are married and now have a right” and debasing inconsequential act. That attitude is distorting and destructive. It also changes the focus and placement of the true meaning of a union between two people that is endorsed by the heavens, empowered to surmount obstacles like same “SEX” attraction. If the pith of a relationship is constructed upon attraction, then it will be subject to the vicissitudes of certain absolute individual change.

[@davidnightingale146]

I wish I could give this more than one like

[@jeremymichel3042]

wow just wow! Why was this so hard to find and why are there only 322 likes and 18,000 views? As a major issue in the world I would assume this would be everywhere. The problem is it contradicts the common narrative. I don't use the phrases "he / she is gay" etc. I say they are practicing homosexuality because it has so many negative assumptions in a small phrase.

[@jamesc.steenbergenii6969]

not particularly interested in the issue but the speaker has some great thought processes

[@rconger24]

This guy has some depth and offers so much.

[@knowjoe6016]

I have never heard of a child speaking Spanish randomly in a family that only speaks English. His explanation is ridiculous and a roundabout argument for nurture. While I do think human sexuality is more complex then simply nature or nurture there are very strong biological explanations this man simply dismissed as non existent. He is either intentionally misleading or more likely completely uneducated on the science. I understand that many reading my comments want an answer to the “why someone is gay” question that fits within a gospel or Mormon belief system however the real answer does not, so you will be left wanting or confused. Truth is unchangeable the church is not. Please resist the urge to defend the church here.

[@jacobchurch7581]

I know this man personally through family relation and I assure you he is not intentionally misleading or completely uneducated. He is actually one of the most thoughtful and compassionate people I know (as well as one of the most willing members of the family to disagree with the more conservative stances that others in the family hold). You have also mischaracterized his argument. The family is not the only source of "nurture" in a persons development, nor do I think he is making the argument that homosexuality is a case of pure "nurture". Furthermore, defending the Church will probably never "require" an explanation for why people are gay. People are an awful lot of things, and many of those things are contrary to what the Church teaches is "right". This has never been an issue. Its right there on the packaging that the Gospel teaches us to reject certain things that are a part of us "naturally". Finally, in the spirit of truth, if you have the science that undeniable proves him wrong, then please, give a link to somebody's research or something like that, I'd like to know more.

[@knowjoe6016]

Jacob Church thank you for your reply. I have no doubt he believes he is doing good. His information is just not based in reality and because of that does more harm then good. Here is a link to a TED talk that outlines some of the science and that I think is a helpful place to start. There are also peer reviewed studies that get into the science more specifically. kzbin.info/www/bejne/anzLn5KwbquDo7c

[@timbarnsley8087]

Your wrong, my question to you is why is homosexually on the increase? And it's not just because people and society is more accepting. Is it because society believes in choices, not right or wrong. No morality, it can be seen in music TV and social media, broken homes, ect. If what I have said I'd wrong, what's your explanation, babies are not born gay. Science has tried to prove the gay gene and failed, because it doesn't exist.

[@knowjoe6016]

Tim Barnsley thank you for your reply. If you follow the link I provided I’m answer to the last comment I think you will find it very educational on where science is and is not in terms of explaining homosexuality. It’s a great starting point to gain a deeper understanding around the complicated topic of human sexuality. I think your right that there is a sense of “homosexuality on the rise” and I would argue this is because of a society not loosing a moral compass (although I understand that maybe from your perspective that’s the case) but rather from it becoming more more enlightened and therefore safer place to express non-heterosexuality. There other thing to consider is that while yes gays are a minority to a heterosexual majority there are many people who now feel comfortable expressing their sexuality that falls somewhere in between. In the past these individual might have chosen to simply pass as straight because they could and it was the safer choice in that environment. Google something called the Kinsey scale for a better understanding.

[@Drooper99]

Just to address you're first sentence it was clear that it was not a 1 to 1 comparison. He was only comparing one aspect of learning a language to sexuality. Please try not to intentionally mislead people with your strawman argument.

[@TJa2874]

How ridiculous. Do we ask straight people, Are you born straight OR did you choose to be straight? No, no one ever asks straight people that, ridiculous questions! Is it really that hard to accept that it’s just how they are? Also, when people say ‘they’re born that way’ we don’t mean it that it’s in their DNA or genetic. I’m straight and have never once thought it’s because it’s in my DNA. It’s attraction. And yes you are born with it which ties in with it’s something you naturally know how to do. It just is.

[@democraticpatriot2657]

His 5th explanation "It's what you know how to do" is nonsense! Ask someone who has lived heterosexually and never consciously considered same gender feelings, and then gradually realizes they are attracted to the same sex at age 35 or 50, and are compelled to leave their marriage for a same sex partner. Dr. Hibbs' hypothesis makes no sense in that scenario. If he counsels only teens and young adults it is understandable how he might have arrived at his mistaken theory.

[@minaguta4147]

Too bad no one has ever explained gravity to this clown.

[@rconger24]

Jeff Robinson, the guy giving the talk is someone I know personally. Do you think it really help to label and name-call at him?

[@minaguta4147]

@@rconger24 Focus on the substance, Ray. When the label is deserved, I will use it, and Jeff has quite spectacularly earned it. Did you listen to his comparison to gravity? It's absurd and any physicist would agree. But it is consistent with his completely unscientific approach to this issue. Moreover, Jeff incessantly stands in the way of bans on the horrible practice of conversion therapy. Shame on him. He needs to be called out and I will continue to do so.

[@Kingofredeyes]

@@towardcivicliteracy the problem is gravity's cause has been explained via the mass of an object as well as it's motion creating the forces we know as gravity. His statements about homosexuality I'm still listening to and processing but he is dead wrong about our understanding of gravity.

[@BoMwarrior]

What about the question to those he's advised, and proposed in this video? *WHY does one have those feelings?* 🤔 (please don't blindly thumb down this comment, think about it) I strongly believe that is the most important part of all he said. People don't ask it. Studies aren't done because it's taboo. It's just because one was "born that way". 🙄 What's really happening is general society seems to have disregarded religion, now they are disregarding science. First Anti-vaxxers, then flat-earthers, then come the LGBT. I'm sure it's offensive to group those three together, but really they all disregard the proven science. 🤷‍♂️ I don't know what else to say... One can only explain so much to anyone that's unteachable. 🙁 (and just because one doesn't understand doesn't make them unteachable, willful ignorance does)

[@BoMwarrior]

​@@korvaamiko66 🤦‍♂️ People are able to understand how the planets move because they asked WHY. We are able to do heart surgeries because people asked WHY. 🤔 If you don't understand why The Church doesn't follow the Old Law, then you haven't studied enough about Christ. 😉 To hopefully help, I recommend the book "Jesus The Christ" by James E. Talmage. It has references in it for further study if desired. 📖 Thank you for your response! I think it's so very much better when good (at least trying) people like you & I can give just a few words to exercise the mind to consider things one may not have before. Seriously, you're awesome. 👍🙂 May you have a great day/night!

[@BoMwarrior]

@@korvaamiko66 I don't believe in race, it's just skin color & various culture. Like Morgan Freeman said: "I'm not African-American, I'm American!" 😁 I don't expect to change your (or anyone else's) mind about same-sex attraction, but I would like people to actually try to figure it out. If one doesn't believe in psychology, then I understand them not believing in asking questions. 🤔 Though science is part of the brain too, me having depression actually has some of the same starter questions anyone can ask about same-sex attraction. WHY?? If anyone wants to figure out why would my brain have me think I'm worthless, why wouldn't they want to figure out why others want to be together when there's no chance of children? 🤷‍♂️ Saying these are illegitimate questions is part of the problem. 😐 Btw if I haven't said it, thank you for being civil. Nice to have a actual thinking person comment than one out of blind anger. 👍🙂

[@sophiacherrington6698]

The reason why they it break up families is because man to man cannot makes babies. And so it goes to woman to woman so damage god plan for us human being. For me is not to judge anyone not is god work we have to learn to lived in peace.