Thinking through Science, Mythology, Misogyny, and Trump led me to fully deconvert - Elvine

Today I spoke with Elvine, who grew up in a Roman Catholic environment, moved to Protestant Evangelicalism, but then began to investigate in depth the truth claims of Christianity, and ultimately fully deconverted.
We discussed many topics, including:
• Growing up exposed to Catholicism with a focus on mass, good works, and prayers to saints.
• Eventually becoming jaded in the Catholic environment and converting to evangelical Protestant Christianity.
• Being exposed to purity culture for the first time, when she spent time with evangelicals.
• Hearing in church that god loved her and had a plan for her life.
• Feeling like evangelical Christianity was fulfilling what she was missing in the Catholic church.
• Hearing evangelicals treat all other faiths and denominations with disdain and even describing them as heretical and demonic.
• Concluding that Catholicism was wrong and evangelical Christianity was Biblical.
• Being told by Catholics that she was in a cult and was becoming extremist when she moved into Protestantism.
• Believing that people in her life who knew witchcraft were able to keep good things from happening to her.
• Seeing her and other evangelical Christians developing a strong persecution complex.
• Praying for a long time to speak in tongues, and eventually developing the skill herself.
• Realizing the strength of the placebo effect.
• Being told that strong-willed and opinionated women have a "Jezebel spirit" that reflects a lack of being quiet and submissive, and that if she became more compliant, the right man would see her good qualities and want her as a wife.
• Dealing with internalized misogyny and self-hatred, feeling terrible for not conforming, and being told that extended singleness was a punishment for not being a "Proverbs 31" woman.
• Seeing that Jesus supposedly freed humanity from the curses from the Fall, but that those curses still remain on humanity.
• Doing constant mental gymnastics to maintain the idea that god is in control and that he will make everything okay in the end, despite the cognitive dissonance showing otherwise.
• Facing nonstop confusion about the will of god in the context of god sometimes closing doors but wanting us to just wait longer, or to work harder, or realizing that we were self-deceived in thinking it was god's will, but it really wasn't, or that Satan was thwarting god's will, or that god would find a creative way to make it still work out in the end, but is temporarily testing us.
• Realizing the interconnectedness of Christianity with racism and sexism.
• Seeing that the Yahweh character's actions in the Garden of Eden story show him to be a narcissistic, gaslighting psychopath.
• Learning that King David was very wicked, just like Jezebel, but he is strangely seen in a good light and his songs are still sung today, yet Jezebel is villainized.
• Learning about how Christianity spread to sub-Saharan Africa through colonialism, and that Africans were taught to identify with Jesus' suffering as a means to endure the colonialism and the loss of their culture.
• Realizing that the "fruit of the Spirit," such as gentleness, is absent in Christian culture.
• After deconversion, feeling immense freedom from the nonsense and bizarre mindset of the Christian worldview.
• Understanding that it affects people of color to pray to a savior god figure that they are groomed to see as white and male.
• Deconstructing the concept of fallen angels, and realizing that if heaven were real, it wouldn't be perfect, as we imagined, and that god could have created them genderless if they didn't want them to ever have the option of copulating with human women and creating the Nephilim.
• The importance of giving yourself the authority to question the Yahweh character.
Many thanks to Elvine for sharing her story!
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Ending music by Eyal Raz, "Friends"
• Friends
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