Thirtysomethings Remember The First Time They Ever Played ‘Mario’

[@umjammysammys]

“The star that turns Mario cruel” is one the best lines i’ve ever heard.

[@aldopadron1520]

"The star turned Mario into a god of raw hate, and I was his priest" I love how the actors say things like that without a flinch

[@ThatWildcard]

I dont want to know how many takes they need to do. I would probably die laughing every time

[@candycaneannihalator2708]

"mario is the star of violence and hates you" -book of mario 64

[@Whitecroc]

His flesh became the animal rage that drove Cain to strike down his brother Abel, and I stopped being accountable for his actions!

[@svrvphimprod]

​@@Whitecrocthe casual tone of this extremely metal line gets me every fucking time

[@MISPLACED96]

I'm glad to hear I wasn't the only one that struggled with the riddle of Luigis bones. Thanks Clickhole!

[@zevspencer-shapiro7029]

it took me quite a while to figure out the riddle of luigi's bones (rude)

[@DoodadsIncarnate]

I am now going to cry for 7 years, thank you for showing me how to solve the riddle of Luigi’s bones (rude)

[@JazzyFizzleDrummers]

🎺🗑

[@moch126]

The joke of bart simpson (rude) is that he took the star of cruelty which made him rude

[@InfinityTiiime]

@@DoodadsIncarnatethree more years 😢

[@Incred_Canemian]

Ah, the Riddle of Luigi's Bones.

[@ClickHole]

Where our ’80s kids at?

[@icemoon4]

+ClickHole here

[@LovelySoftSnow]

+ClickHole im an 80 year old kid

[@SeaBearsRAR]

nobody knows. I've been looking for my 80's kid dad for 19 years

[@draxiss1577]

I am 1,980 children, so I'm here too.

@@draxiss1577 who the fuck writes years like that wtf I just transcended into a ball of ethereal and omnipotent light

[@lucystarlight8887]

I love the line "I did this by jumping," because it implies that you could do literally anything else in this game

[@JoeHabana]

Luigi´s bones... that takes me back, me and my brother trying using a cat, a goat stomach and the 9 rocks shaped like a mushroom but we only solved half of the puzzle, my father helped us but still don´t remember what he did exactly with all those squirrels.

[@smaller_cathedrals]

That segment from 1:13 to 1:26 is absolute gold. I literally laughed out loud alone on my couch. "The star changed Mario into a god of raw hate", "his flesh became the animal rage that drove Cain to strike down his brother Abel." I love the usual nonsensical randomness of Clickhole, but this is some god-tier writing.

[@heavenly2k]

Agreed.

[@boredom245]

I solved the riddle of luigi's bones, by licking the inside of the cartridge. When I stopped, my mother would start. 14 hours later and it was complete. You got to do it smoothly. Lick too hard and the bones erode.

[@SKA-PUNK-RADIO]

+boredom245 what the hell is that luigi's bones thing? what game was that about? i keep looking for answers on google but nothing talks about luigi's bones

[@DoctorTurdmidget]

I couldn't solve the riddle, but I got around it by using the live squirrel trick. And this was in the days before the Internet, so we had to hear about hacks like this by word of mouth. I wish I'd kept the bone, because those things are worth a lot now.

[@rat8414]

yea i know im 4 years late but aparently there were multiple ways to solve the riddle? i didnt use the licking method i just straight up ate him and gave birth to him in real life then stuffed his body back into the console.

[@Punkini]

Kids are so lucky. Nowadays all they have to do is look up how to solve the riddle of luigis bones, I spent a week in my town library studying anatomy books and still couldn’t solve the riddle of luigis bones!

[@fredflintstonefan39]

please post the luigis bones gamefaq i cant find it online

[@MoarPretzels4Boiz]

+Ron Paul its not postable online you have to use a summoning circle to get the strategy guide

[@timofcent1]

The first part is pretty simple. You need to jump over the flag pole on 1-3 and run right for about 30 minutes. Once you've gone far enough, you have to turn back and run left for another 30 minutes. You should eventually find a Toad that will tell you to go to -1. You must then count the precise number of pixels in the stage and subtract the total by your age multiplied by 5. If you call the Nintendo Power helpline and tell the guide the number you came to, they will instruct you to get the Mew from under the truck (which is a completely separate set of instructions for another day.) I ended up capturing the Mew, but I couldn't continue the search for Luigi's bones because my NES turned into a toaster before I could complete all the steps.

[@xennial_miracle]

Yeah, Total myth. I tried that flag pole and Toad thing for days when I was little before my cousin told me it didn't work.

[@timofcent1]

No, it's real. My uncle worked for Nintendo.

[@tyro244]

My Uncle worked at Atari. I'll bet my Atari Uncle can beat up your Nintendo Uncle.

[@dikydankedude]

"The star turned Mario into a God of raw hate, and I was his priest!" 🤣

[@fullofherair2627]

since everyone's making lame jokes about luigi's bones, i wanna mention that i love when she talks about cain and abel, reminds me of the discovery of television among the bees

[@circumferenced]

juigi bones

[@wHw_Syxx]

My grandmother is the one who started my gaming life with Super Mario. I wish she was here today to see how many amazing games they've made since she passed.

[@ferruiz4531]

“It smelled warm :)”

[@Glopdemon]

it is always time for mario

[@thebe_stone]

personally i ended up just using my friend's bones for the riddle of luigi's bones, I couldn't do it with just ribs.

[@tempestedits4454]

It really is like they just think of adjectives, nouns, and verbs, and then try to make a story out of it

[@teknoarcanist]

WOAH HOLY SHIT, YOU CAN REASSAMBLE LUIGI'S BONES?! WHAT THE FUCK MAN I NEVER KNEW THAT I THOUGHT IT WAS UNSOLVABLE AS AN ARTISTIC STATEMENT ON THE ELUSIVE NATURE OF TRUTH!!! Mind? Blown.

[@RosenthalBros]

I've been playing retro games with my children and they can't even solve the riddle of Luigi's bones.

[@cybersilver5816]

I just used the cheat code to get past the riddle of Luigi's bones. But then the Nintendo police came into my house and took Luigi's bones away, rendering my Mario videogame unplayable and me on a no fly list

[@Malkmusianful]

the thing is that you were responsible for the Mass Maddening of 2015 due to your actions, which forced that poor hibachi chef to cook on his kitchen table

[@BaggyMcPiper]

Legit thought this was a buzzfeed video for the first ten seconds.

[@joeinsomniac3180]

Clickhole presents the actors initial descriptions of their first Super Mario experience with a convincing and adoring first interpretation narrative, then spices it up with the very comical avant-garde/satirical nonsense that identifies their brand. The entire concept of the topic itself, (Super Mario Brothers™) which we understand realistically as fiction, has been exposed to the consequences of re-fictionalization. Perhaps more than ever in this day in age societies, and the human collective could use Clickhole's tastefully abstract humor to remind individuals and demographics alike that they are at whim to the natural world and will inevitably suffer the burden of their popularized mismeasurements. Clickhole and the little red man secure our understanding of this.

[@trevorarmstrong6641]

+Joe Insomniac its not this deep

[@draxiss1577]

A better thing to say is that, "This is not deep." The poster is articulating what qualities of this video make it funny, clever, and relevant. If I understand correctly, the poster is stating that what makes this video funny is the way it satirizes our society's glorification of nostalgia. That's not deep.

[@draxiss1577]

No idea why they used the term "re-fictionalization," though. Perhaps it's a term among critics I'm unfamiliar with.

[@InvisibleHotdog]

Refictionalization isn't a word

[@SuperLumpyPumpkin]

Dude, I think you just solves the mystery of Luigi's bones

[@Krbydav328]

I pried open the cartridge and scraped out the meat. It smelled warm!

[@rgm2294]

"first you had to boil the console" Me: wait...

[@lokimitchell9505]

My favorite part about this is that their experience with Mario is the least interesting part about it.

[@corb805]

God the jumpscare at the end scared me. Why did they need to do that?

[@MrNylenRules]

A year late to give you some daps for that one

[@Yobo200]

The riddle of Luigi’s bones is simple, all you need to do is Clean your teeth on my bones

[@dingus_maximus]

Dude, that Nintendo bone is so rare, since almost no one else has ever solved the riddle of Luigi’s bones. He could sell that bone on eBay and make so much money from the bone.

[@robertwalpole5376]

Bullshit, man. The Nintendo Bone is extremely common; I remember everyone having several halfway into the Autumn of Reagan. Definitely not forgeries, either - Farnsworth the Faker pretended to have one, but the Nintendo ate him as punishment for his treachery. The riddle wasn't too complex to solve, either, once you learnt about the Goomba's Secret that was obviously highlighted in world 2-1. Somebody even gathered enough Nintendo Bones to create a Luigi, and the game accepted it. He died and went to Jahannam as that was a mortal sin, though, so I can't ask him anything more about what happened next or why his Luigi was light blue. A Nintendo Bone would sell for, at most, £7.50.

[@Malkmusianful]

Actually, I didn't think making Mario interact with the star that injected horrible, horrible thoughts about needing to necessitate the immediate extinction of man and living creature was such a cool moment. I was dismayed by the pretentiousness of the NES, so I made it watch Ernest movies for a week. After that, it evolved into the Super NES, which ended being way more pretentious than its prior plastic flesh vessel and printed out Armond White.

[@maxking2096]

This channel is buzzfeed from an alternate universe

[@nothlitt]

the star changed mario into a god of raw hate

[@tomiokagiyuu6641]

“I was seven, and my elderly best friend...”

[@man-rb4sr]

Truly a classic experience.

[@sixx_808]

his flesh became the animal rage that drove cain to strike down his brother abel and i stopped being accountable for his actions

[@DeltaTerraform94]

The star turned mario into a god of raw hate..and i was his priest!

[@MrOldmanjenkin1]

Do you guys only hire ex buzzfeed employees?

[@king_noah_2692]

That's kind of the point XD (I know you're joking, I'm joking too. plz dont woosh me)

[@st.zahren5683]

@@king_noah_2692 bruh r/woosh cringe normie

[@Merino33]

@@st.zahren5683 r/ihavereddit

[@XatxiFly]

0:38 really got me

[@itribbits633]

THEY SHOWED A SNES WHY IS NO ONE FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

[@aestheticdegen]

maybe you should ask yourself, why are you freaking out about it

[@Neiroe]

@no lock on the door but im still shitting bitch obviously

[@Malkmusianful]

because we're all still coming to terms with watching Greg Louganis get a concussion from a diving board

[@keokeoguzuma6924]

My father was 20 or so when he first played the first Mario. He helped me with the riddle of Luigi’s bones, he told me he had to kill a child to get the solution. He wasn’t arrested, anyone back then would kill for that answer.

[@ThatsWhatSheSaid-420]

Luigi's bone gave me a bad touch.

[@stagehog81]

The first time I played Super Mario Bros. was December 25, 1987. I was 6 years old and was given the NES for Christmas from my Dad. The NES remains hooked up today at my house and gets more play time than any other console system I own. I have replaced the pin set in the NES and it works like new.

[@Malkmusianful]

does the NES power your house

[@meowmeowmeow300]

I wish I could solve the riddle of luigis bones. Any tips?

[@benulrand9137]

This is fucking hilarious. Keep making these awesome videos

[@Rottypops]

The Riddle of Luigi's Bones. 😂

[@RakoonCD]

Godammit! First splash mountain dad and now this!

[@yupekosi]

I had my older brother beat the Riddle of Luigi's Bones for me. I brought the bone we got to school the next day and my friend stole it.

[@teas9892]

Amazing.

[@thebe_stone]

I feal bad for anybody who clicked the video not knowing what this channel is.

[@josephfarrar9954]

Every summer is the summer of Reagan if you just believe.

[@mittenstherealest]

I agree

[@Faustus960]

i dont want to believe

[@xennial_miracle]

Okay, so I just read the true story Super Mario Brothers is based on and wow, that 'Luigi's bones' joke is in REALLY bad taste. #toosoon

[@alb1reo]

The man's a liar! Alex from SBB's is the maker of Mario.

[@walfalcon]

How do you know his older brother isn't Alex from SBB? Also, hello from the future, we will never let you rest.

[@superluigi8654]

Ouch

[@a.KniteOwl]

Clickhole used to be more organic. everyone here just acts like a Groundling waiting to be recognized

[@malacara1335]

To solve the riddle you have to clean your teeth on my bones.

[@SKA-PUNK-RADIO]

Can someone explain ''the riddle of luigi bones'' ?

[@DoodleDrip]

+alexandre gallien I solved it

[@alightbulb5528]

alexandre gallien no

[@crung]

I solved it too

[@Baconator2558]

Okay, so in Mario, if you take too long to reach the final level, Peach gets mad and yells at Bowser for being mean. Bowser then retaliates by kidnapping her cousin Luigi and killing him. Then Bowser spreads Luigi's bones across the kingdom, and in order to reach the final level, Mario must now also collect all of Luigi's bones and assemble them into the form of Luigi's full skeleton, which he'll use as a weapon to kill Bowser with, so that he can avenge his brother and save his girlfriend Peach.

[@Baconator2558]

Interestingly enough, they removed this mission in the remake, replacing the time limit that would initiate the Riddle of Luigi's Bones with a time limit that kills you if you don't finish the level quickly enough.

[@EnazYevrah]

I used to be a vlogger

[@head.like.a.fcking.orange]

EnazYevrah, till you took an arrow to the knee?

[@FlackNCoke]

HOLY SHIT SNL TOTALLY RIPPED THIS VIDEO OFF!

[@zayden1569]

Wait, SNL stole this lmao

[@ernstjohannes37]

her glasses are outraaaaaging

[@capy6064]

I solved the riddle of Luigi's bones but Mario creator Shigeru Miyamoto popped out of the cartridge and revealed he was actually Eligor one of the 72 presidents of hell. He consumed the bones before I was able to grab them.

[@voidofspaceandtime4684]

Damn, you got the bad side. Discount bootleg mario creator, Reggie, popped out of mine, said some gibberish, and vomited a gelatin onto the floor. I will never forget that day.

[@marc7248]

capy bro you got a copy of dictionaire infernal?

[@mstegosaurus]

This is obviously false; the guy at 0:20's brother created Mario.

[@joshfarrington2775]

I thought this was gonna be a real video......

[@josephfarrar9954]

It is very real.

[@travellingshoes5241]

These people have never seen the original Mario.

[@picture_of_a_swan]

Are you sure? The original Mario was different! These people are thirtysomething so they are experts on this

[@dadkwashere]

Old farts

[@travellingshoes5241]

This is fake.

[@BLAZINFAST]

TravellingShoes No. Every other version of Mario is fake. These people are the only ones who have ever played a Mario game.

[@JogVodka]

This is real, these people have played Mario

[@thatonegoblin7051]

*whoosh*

[@taffyadam6031]

THIS IS FAKE

[@avalon5821]

Taffy Adam Have you ever heard of humor...?

[@crung]

Taffy Adam shut fuck up

[@rootbeer_666]

You are correct, it is fake. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nobody, except for Hirokazu “Hip” Tanaka, composer of the music of Metroid, has solved the Riddle of Luigi’s Bones. And he has sworn to Miyamoto-sama that he will forever guard the solution to the riddle, now hermetically sealed in a vault six hundred sixty-six meters beneath Nintendo headquarters. Thousands have tried to reach the solution, and none have survived. Drink now the goat’s blood from this chalice and forget all that I have told you, or you will perish under the next full moon.