This Is How Depression Feels

Depression is a serious mental illness that can interfere with a person’s life. The signs of depression could include long lasting feelings of sadness, hopeless, and even apathy. Unlike sadness or short term depression, clinical depression often require medical intervention. In this video, we will talk about what it feels like with depression if you are someone trying to better understand a friend who is going through it.
DISCLAIMER: Do not use this video for self diagnosis, but as a guide.
Here's a video on the signs you're not lazy, but depressed: • 6 Signs You're Depress...
Writer: Lily Mentriko
Script Editor: Isadora Ho
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Sarimopi ( / sarimopi )
KZbin Manager: Cindy Cheong

[@Psych2go]

What do you think causes depression?

[@maybe237]

Bad moods

[@nitzanshu4695]

Im not sure, i guess its either something youre born with or something you experienced as traumatic. But i can be wrong and its just my guess and my experience

[@SophsPeachyy]

Loosing friends is how I got it😅

[@Sky_Dragon_OwO]

Being bullied and told to commit suicide and messed up stuff that eventually leads to it.

[@Je11keng]

Your trauma

[@Animelover12672]

It's hits when your family and friends calls you lazy when u are struggling with your mental health 🙂

[@Finielicious]

Fr

[@animatorbrellyandgwape812]

yep and then you dont wanna tell them why your lazy and it just conflicts you

[@Animelover12672]

@@animatorbrellyandgwape812 yeahhh😌

[@brandon1832]

I just experienced this

[@Gentleman_VR...]

I’m a kid and I’m struggling with my mental helth

[@pd2518]

As a person with depression, I can confirm that most of this is true. If you happen to notice anyone acting like this, just be nice to them. It will brobably mean the world to them.

[@bhawnasureshkumar8201]

I just opened the video for no reason and got to know I'm passing through this phrase....I am trying my best to stay optimistic to avoid depression but I didn't know that I'm not in the right state of mind

[@pd2518]

@Brian Jake Gaming true, but it's still good to be nice to people when they seem down.

[@dennisweiser8961]

haha *fake laugh* same bro. we could be friends...

[@naynay8anaynay747]

100% agreed and can relate a lot. Sometimes I wish this as well, and it annoys me when everyone asks, r h ok?? Are u ok??? One hundred time, even if they mean well. 🥲

[@SchgurmTewehr]

Maybe help them as well? At least ask them if they want or need help. Don’t for it though.

[@Amasha_Yashohara]

The worst thing to feel like a child, " Why me? " It's like everyone else is luckier, Everyone else has a better life, better parents, more freedom.

[@Mango_Cat8326]

This is exactly what i tell myself everyday “why me?”

[@Charlotte-fv6uu]

I feel sorry for your both, someone people are lucky to have friends, good parents and all.. but I'm not one of them but I'm lucky to have myself.. I hope you all become something successful

[@Mango_Cat8326]

@@Charlotte-fv6uu thank you! And same to you too! : )

[@Charlotte-fv6uu]

@@Mango_Cat8326 ^^

[@user-tx8wc9yf6b]

Thanks ​@@Charlotte-fv6uu

[@abhay11114]

When you are not afraid to die. But you can't even die. Also living feels like a punishment. 😊❤️‍🔥💔🙂

[@thenewlurzinator5920]

#relatable (sadly) also its called passive suicidal ideation 👍

[@AbhikankshaKanwar]

Now days I even can not control my suicide thoughts I'm no longer afraid to die . Feeling like death is far better than a painful life

[@DavidCrenshaw-wp2cu]

Don’t do it, find something to live for, also exercise helps me at least

[@user-vr4ds2we4g]

Yeah don’t do it most people who try to and live immediately regret doing the last step of their plan find something you could never say goodbye to

[@felin_de_la_nuit]

This 😔

[@roschanputhy8565]

One more thing: you tend to procrastinate a lot. Due to constantly being tired and unmotivated, you will find it a little relaxed by procrastinating.

[@sear9993]

I'm currently procrastinating. It's 1:54am and I feel like if I go to sleep, I won't get my homework finished, but I feel like doing homework is pointless since I don't want to learn anything we're being told to learn. I'll probably procrastinate until I get too tired to even do my homework.

[@janfgfdx5165]

for me i feel depressed when i enter school but it disappears when i enter my room so idk

[@ionarion1280]

​@@janfgfdx5165 kinda making your room as the safe zone yea

[@I.am.funny.even.when.im.not.]

@@sear9993 I have something due vey soon swell and I want to work on it tonight and that's what I've been telling myself for the past few days and its really hard to just do anything, I want to but I just CANT and its s annoying I just don't know how to bring myself to do it.

[@summerycast7936]

And then when the time comes, you feel guilty not finishing your task or whatever needs to be done earlier. Especially daily things such as dishes. Choosing to procrastinate just leads to more work to be done, which is a monumental task for those in a depressive state.

[@hydrashade1851]

for me, depression feels like you are the only sad person in the world. it feels like no one understands you. it feels like the glass isn’t half full, or half empty, its cracked. it feels like nothing matters except those who would be saddened with you gone. it feels like everyone else’s wellbeing matters more than yours. it feels like fictional characters are your only friends, your only support. it makes clouds beautiful because they seem larger than your problems. it feels like only drawings and music understand you. it feels like no matter how much you try to help, you only hurt. it makes the light hurt your eyes. it makes you scared to love again because of a mistake that happened a whole person ago. it feels like nothing at all and everything bad at the same time.

[@cloudvii7777]

Someone who is nothing and everything bad wouldn't be able to write something so open and beautiful. Thank you for comment it resonated with me

[@kicou88]

Slowly but surely the sun will come back in your life even with depression. I speak from experience. You will feel happy again one day and enjoy life. You may have new episodes of depression but you will learn how to cope with it. Knowledge is what helped me cope with it and slowly move on with my life. I chose knowledge over people, learning about everything, about psychology, science, philosophy, art, history, you name it... helps you understand the world around you. Your perception of the world will change, you will understand that everybody can struggle with depression at least once in their life, if it's not depression, some struggle with their ego and fake it all the time, some with stress and anxiety, we all have our inner demons and we all struggle secretly with something, some wounds may never heal but time teaches you to accept things as they are if you can't do anything to change them. Believe me whether it is about losing a friend or your loved one, you will move on. I wish you the best. Don't lose hope. You will see the sun again my friend.

[@mattocardo1002]

For me it's not being sad. I just feel shit. No actual emotions I don't even remember the last time I really felt emotions, besides anger.

[@ucnguyenanh3276]

Oh,you can smell methanol to go hospital and ded

[@rayna6530]

beautifully said

[@RBLXAvGeek]

It just hits harder when u can’t continue your fake smile. You have people asking you “what’s wrong, why are you sad” and have to say “nothing, I’m happy. What makes you think about it?” while having the most sad, ungrateful face ever when answering.

[@straysoul1818]

When the fake smile looks sadder than if you didn’t smile at all and you feel worse for attracting pity and feeling like an attention wh*re. Yeah.

[@TheNameless118]

It gets harder for me to fake a smile every day just to say I'm ok

[@user-cv8ui5ir2d]

I literally broke down crying watching this... I've been feeling worthless, useless, ugly, unlovable for the last 14 years... Thank you for the video.

[@hiyouarebeautiful]

Even though you feel like this for so long, it doesn’t mean that it’s how things really are. You are rather valuable, precious, important, beautiful and so so lovable. I love you❤️

[@hannahallen3622]

I hope you are doing OK now.

[@anjanachandran7167]

You are not worthless dear I believe ur not,if ur current situation is bad or the worst for u remember that there is a better place for u where ur treated like a diamond I struggle with depression too but nowadays I am trying even if it's impossible. U don't even know how good it's abt to get,ur future self might be telling u to scrape those thoughts away cuz she/he is treated so good and everything opposite of what u said abt urself. It's okay to be human,don't force urself try to do something new or draw or take a stroll near a park. Taking care of urself really helps.Sending love ❤❤❤❤

[@honestperrette]

I know it's been said, but please don't feel like this as my mom says, "Happiness is a choice" but I know that's dumb advice but maybe put yourself out there even if it's uncomfortable it has helped me and don't forget. You're not worthless. You mean a lot to many, you just don't see it.

[@therealopaartist]

I describe it as…emptiness. A cold darkness over your mind. Not the calm quiet darkness. One that is screaming with life about how you’re an awful person. It feels like a weight on your ankles in the middle of the ocean, not a extremely heavy one but one that keeps you bobbing at the surface. You’ll be breathing fine one moment only to get hit with a wave another. It feels like you’re alone even when you’re surrounded by people. That’s how I described it to my therapist anyways.

[@Svanik777]

Woww dude I guess you're writter this is written so creativity and I pray you get out of it soon😊

[@dinkybansal688]

Okay i feel all of this and 😭

[@Psych2go]

Thank you for sharing this in such an vivid and relatable way.

[@therealopaartist]

@@Svanik777 actually I am, mostly FanFiction these days but I always wanted to write an original piece!

[@solonada9602]

Here is how I would describe it: Depression feels as if I am gradually drowning under murky waters, so deep that no beam of light can stretch itself that deep, down under the thick murky waters. Depression feels like I am tree laden with rotten fruit, even when there is not a single fruit of putrescence hanging upon its branches. Depression feels as if I am leaning towards a crystal pond amid a desert, but I do not take a sip from it at all, even when thirst is parching my mouth, a mouth that is a scorching desert. Depression feels like I am a withered flower, a flower which no water-drop nor the jollity of the rain can ever bring back to a blooming life. Depression feels as if I am cowering alone in cold, damp darkness, while everyone else is dancing and scampering around in Sun's light, warmth, and in spirit of life.

[@justme-kt7zt]

This has always been such a huge problem with my family. Even a couple family members who are prescribed psych meds for their own issues often do not seem to understand what I experience

[@Someone3951]

13th

[@Psych2go]

Expressing your feelings and problems to close ones can be especially tough when they refuse to understand. Or they themselves have never been through something. Have you found a network of other people who can relate to you?

[@extra-lives]

Same man, It's been more than two years suffering from depression. Sometimes I don't even want to see my face in mirror because I see it as a ugly face.

[@justme-kt7zt]

@@Psych2go Yes, I did, although it took a long time. But when I was younger I myself didn't understand what I was feeling, and I wasn't comfortable talking with "outsiders" about it. I was really relying completely on family for understanding and support, so that's on me. I always had a handful of friends growing up, but it was a LONG time before I could learn to trust any friends to talk about mental health issues

[@justme-kt7zt]

@@extra-lives I've been there. Hang in there. Make the most of the good days and keep an eye out for the high-quality friends you deserve 🙂

[@iamlisasyadom62]

Family problems, loosing friends, I get bullied everywhere ,school pressure and trauma this is where I got it ☺️

[@CSPJ_moarmy]

Dont worry... Are you a blink? I want to help you...

[@Aventurine_is_my_pookie_bear]

Same, except I don’t have a large amount of family issues

[@iamlisasyadom62]

@@CSPJ_moarmy yes I'm a BLINK 😊

[@saraswatimeena6568]

My situation is even worse....i have no one to share without being judged.....

[@iamlisasyadom62]

@@saraswatimeena6568ohh I'm sorry for you 😔😔

[@Atshuuu]

When you feel depressed and no one understands your feelings, but you want some to listen to your problems but there is one for you at your lowest. I hate living this miserable life

[@lolastylianides688]

To the person reading this: you are a warrior and u are an amazing person so keep on going ❤ Édit: Tysm for thé replies.this made my day

[@hanarielgodlike9283]

Hey thank you SO MUCH. I hope you all the best in the world.

[@cyanide_jester]

This was the first thing i saw, when looking at the comments, and i am grateful for it

[@T.H.Y.R.O.]

Ty same to you♡

[@esahuotari6677]

you too for cheering us all up! xx

[@allanjaymartirez]

Thanks. You are amazing too

[@charboday]

Depression has always felt like drowning to me. Surrounded by nothing but vast ocean waves and every day you force your head back above water before your lungs fill with water. Some days, the waves pull you down and even bobbing your head back out of the water for even a breath is nearly impossible. The years go by and I continually feel weaker and want to fight for a breath less and less. Sometimes, the thought to just let myself slip below the waves one last time and sink into the dark waters below is so very tempting. I'm so very tired.

[@BlackWolfJa]

I feel you

[@sapphadow]

Exactly what it feels like for me. Every stroke is a painful struggle and even if you feel like you get some footing or are able to float for a while, you see the clouds gather above your head and here comes another wave to pull you under. So why bother at all?

[@Amberxxbbunni]

I could feel every action you said and it felt weird and sad

[@ShubhamSingh-tt3kz]

It is our mistake! and only we can make it right. So fight and fight hard; cry as much as you can with a pillow or in the bathroom after thinking what you have lost. It is necessary and it is with us for a reason. Keep fighting, we all will make it.

[@almightyme1770]

I feel you friend… I’m also very tired. But know that you are not alone in this battle.

[@BrownGeorge-pw2xo]

I'm a veteran, was actually addicted to alcohol. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.

[@NetaZjdb]

Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.

[@JanetRichardson-mq5es]

Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Australia. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.

[@LuisaSweden-rf3ke]

YES very sure of Dr.alishrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@Edennnn926]

Dude! People like you give me so much hope. I am about 2 years clean now and I feel like mushrooms are turning my life around. I was feeling so lost and nothing has been working for my severe depression up until a couple years ago. but not since I started with the mushrooms for just some few days back then. Kudos to you for being clean that long! So happy to see people like me doing well in the future regardless of what society makes it seem sometimes. For me shrooms are remedy not a vice.

[@Thomas-kl2ft]

How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta

[@AhDemon]

As a person who has had depression for 3 years due to heartbreak, I can really relate to these symptoms. I don't sleep much, and I'm always in a state of mind where I feel like I might burst into tears and embarrass myself in front of everybody. I eat way too much when I'm alone and the migraines are almost endless. Most of my days are spent using up valuable energy putting on a fake smile while my so-called "friends" say I'm annoying and worthless. Every night I wish I could just go back to the time before all this, before I lost the love of my life.. Before I became one of the hated people in this cruel world. To all who are clinically depressed like me, I wish you a better life. Merry Christmas.

[@ashnamathew.]

I think l have depression:( l have experienced most of these symptoms

[@AhDemon]

Don't worry, we're all here for you

[@malikcale7056]

I want to givee you a huggg☺️

[@ashnamathew.]

@@AhDemon thankyou🥹

[@ashnamathew.]

@@malikcale7056 awwww🥺

[@Hypo101]

I can never have a positive or negative thought without immediately finding reasons to argue against it. For example, I can’t even feel bad for myself because “there are people who have it worse, so why should I complain?” I used to be an A student, and lately I’ve been caring less and less, to the point of failing multiple classes, and it’s hard to bring myself to care. Even now as I’m typing I’m trying to stop myself from explaining why I’m just being stupid and should delete this. It’s extremely exhausting, but I’m glad these videos exist to help give reasons why.

[@thedayoftheducks8137]

This is the most relatable comment so far

[@abaraiii]

I feel guilty for feeling this way because others have it worse than me. I am unable to do 95 percent of things which make me stable because of my dad. You just elaborated what I feel man it kinda made me feel light even if a little

[@freesoul6086]

Girl same I was a straight A student My most important exam of my school life is in 2 months and I can’t bring myself to do anything about it

[@nitzanshu4695]

Yes! Im feeling bad and then im thinking: i just want to feel like that. I want to feel special. Its annoying as heck

[@brott2711]

So relatable. I've been a straight A student for multiple years in a row, but this year those grades are continuously dropping. I can't even get myself out of bed and get ready for school in the morning to the point where I'm late to class more often. I have multiple alarms set because I never wake up on just one or two, and then I'd just lay in bed for 30 minutes without a care in the world regarding what that'd do to my attendance and grades. I used to like school because it felt like an escape, but now it's just draining.

[@Hyurno]

I am trash and I want to disappear, but I don't want to make my mom sad.

[@user-ze1wo9jm6o]

Get well soon

[@male1991]

I am looking for online anonymous groups

[@user-mh1gt8tg7n]

​@@male1991I'm in. Let's make one

[@harrylyons673]

Same their the only reason I'm here

[@MaaKaushliya]

That's the reason I am living and still doing what I am supposed to I assured her no matter how much I am dying inside

[@Atlascat3]

I've had depression for years, but only recently this year did I finally get help, and the smallest but of family help. This video is just, exactly how I feel

[@sethgauna1715]

I love this video because a lot of people have these symptoms and feel so alone but knowing other people have also felt like this give them hope that they’re are better days even if they feel like there are none in sight. Great video!

[@thomasmaxime2340]

It’s so difficult to describe depression to someone who’s never been there because it’s not sadness. Psychedelic are the reason why I didn't take my life when I was at my end.i was stripped of my ego and saw the beauty of life and interconnectivity

[@tessymitch]

Psychedelic’s definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again but it’s just so hard to source here

[@jefferyscott8148]

LSD and mushrooms completely changed my whole outlook on life..I became a better version of myself. This experience gave me a lot of confidence about myself and a bunch of bad thought/behaviour pattern were broken. One of these was pretty bad OCD that made me wash my hands alot..it gave me a lot of hope that things will be fine, this is the one thing that I heard throughout the trip. The main reason for the trip was my severe Depression and it definitely helped me. Before all I could do was lay in bed, now I am trying to rebuild my life one step at a time which wasn't possible before.

[@allybee342]

@@jefferyscott8148 I feel the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety level.. I am also glad to be a part of this community.

[@hazeemakhan5301]

@@tessymitch Last year, I took shrooms thinking it was going to hit like an edible or something. Shit was scary at first but amazing once you start getting deeper into your thoughts

[@sherrimandel6983]

Love this! I battle from depression, anxiety and C-PTSD, I've heard shrooms cure depression. wish doctors were more open to natural medicine..

[@ZoomAqua]

This is my story: Growing up, I was actually raised in a very loving and supportive home. I always got good grades in school. I excelled in the things I did (such as tae kwon do and bowling). At some point, I began building up these expectations of being the best daughter, the best student, the best everything. I felt as if maybe that's what others expected of me, too. Sometime during elementary school, I started to develop more of an understanding of what was happening around me. I've always been a shy person, and I felt like I never truly "clicked" with any of the kids at school. The only times I felt that (pre-college) were in elementary school for a few years with a small group of guys (I was the only girl, but my tomboyish personality allowed me to fit in) and in high school with a small group of girls (not the stereotypical "popular girls", so felt I somewhat fit in there for a year or two). Going back though to what I was getting at, I wasn't a social butterfly like a lot of the other kids. I eventually started feeling like I didn't truly fit in. That everybody saw me as the weird girl who liked video games and anime. That nobody actually liked me for me. Halfway into middle school, I got into my first relationship. The relationship wasn't bad or anything, I just lost feelings over the last month of it and had to end it. Shortly afterwards, I started playing an online game and made many online friends. Started online dating and ended up in lots of bad relationships since I was still a young middle/high schooler who didn't know better. This is when the depression started hitting hard alongside anxiety. I remember making so many mistakes in those relationships and always blaming myself for them ending the way they did (instead of the reality which was that I got manipulated into doing wrong things that I was told were right by older guys). This led to getting very dark thoughts from time to time. Although I hadn't made any attempts until high school (which even then wasn't anything that put me in a hospital), it was still something that carried on into my current life. Even though I'm going to counseling, I still feel the anxiety and depression a lot of the time, and sometimes it hits very hard. It's that feeling of "I don't want to do anything", "I can't do anything". It's the feeling of not wanting to get out of bed. To go back to sleep, even when you know you have to get up. That lack of motivation, that empty-but-not-empty feeling. You feel sadness, but you also feel nothing. You want to be happy, but you also feel like you don't deserve happiness. You look down on yourself from the moment you wake up to the moment you sleep. You convince yourself that you aren't good enough, that nobody wants you. You don't want to eat, even if there is food in front of you. You want to go to bed early, but the negative thoughts fill your head until you cry instead. Throughout the later parts of my life, I've encountered friends. True friends, I mean. Friends who are there for me during these rough times. Yet sometimes, I can't bring myself to speak up. I value them so much that I don't want to bring them down with me. I'm slowly getting better though. The family and friends we have are very precious to us, and I know that we would want them to talk to us, too, if they ever felt depressed or anxious because we wouldn't want them to suffer alone. So yeah. I know it isn't a deep and traumatizing story, but hopefully it still reaches out to someone out there.

[@Name-Example]

I thank you, as your story gave me a better insight to this topic. I REALLY hope you get better and remember that there will be both bad and good moments in life!

[@ayuchi_mv21]

Well,someone else is actually depressed bc a story kinda similar to mine,

[@cunkhui2784]

Wow some of that story is really similar to mine..

[@do0183]

God bless and I hope everyone in this comment finds their light at the end of the tunnel.

[@RyanWinsAtLife]

Your story is very similar to mine, although I only got into my first relationship as a sophomore and have never been in a bad relationship.

[@dilaraacar7000]

As my friend and I were in a some bad situation, she handled the situation and let it go, while i was being hopeless myself. (she knows about my struggles, explained and tried to help me feel better, and it helped me) Knowing that "not feeling of joy" was a feeling and perspective of mine changed my point of view.

[@Cosmic-ix7uf]

Depression is so hard. I mostly had problems with eating and my parents were very unsupportive but I am pleased to say that I am on my way out. I don't know what changed but my motivation is coming back and I am starting to care again. I am not saying that I am never sad but things are looking up. I wish anyone who suffered like me so much love and know that however bad things are, there is always always a solution. Please don't let it ruin your life because you have so much worth

[@yourmom-or9be]

I will share my story. here it goes- so.. well- honestly it's just so hard to keep up with things than I used to. Before the pandemic, I used to be very hardworking, I wasn't the smartest and I was scared of my family disowning for being bad at my school. They used to scold me if I get a line of 70 in my report card, my grandmother used to want to tutor me and take me to her room so I could study but she'd yell and get really scary and I just cried a lot haha- I really studied hard during elementary because I was always degraded by everyone around me for being stupid. I was constantly compared, scolded and verbally yelled at by my grandmother. She stopped during the pandemic, once I finally broke down again. In front of my dad. I told him I wanted to d!e and there he started to scold me, yell at me and tell me how ungrateful I am and how I shouldn't think about it because there's so much more unfortunate people. It just went downhill from there. I used to be good at sports too I think. I wanted to play basketball but I got embarrassed at gr4 and didn't continue. My mom didn't really support it either, my mates from the training went to another school and my family favored another sport. I stopped playing basketball and started to do badminton. I tried swimming, golf, ballet and currently boxing. After the pandemic, I lost my physic and I was constantly reminded by my coach I was sort of..going off track and I just got angry because I was enduring a really hard time during the first months of 2021 which is why I couldn't do training. I started to think about it and I broke down there and I couldn't go back to training after that. I used to do the violin too. Around 9 years old actually. I enjoyed playing it but I felt so pressured by everyone in my school. Once someone hears that I play the violin, I tend to be forced to perform. I didn't know much pop music. I wanted to fit in so I tried but classical music was my forte. I didn't know how to interpret or join in as background music, I was more used to playing violin solo. I don't even play the violin anymore, I don't have the time and energy to try it again. I feel ashamed of myself for not playing, not practicing and not being consistent with it. All I do now is sleep and eat, do something that can distract me and eat again. Before the pandemic I was underweight-average. I couldn't eat much because I didn't find food appetizing. Though during the pandemic I started to eat more because I was becoming more stress. I couldn't find distractions, I am left alone with my thoughts so the only way I could cope was to eat stuff so I could do something. The next thing I knew is that was 60 kg. I was 49 kg before and I was devastated. I guess what sort of broke me too is that someone else was way more weightless than me (around 30+ kg) and I just started to question myself and started to eat less but I always go back to eating because I get so stressed. Now, I don't know what to do. I can't study properly. I can't sleep properly. I can't eat properly. I can't function properly and all I want to do is lie on bed and sleep for the rest of my days. It just gets worst and worst as time goes on. There may be good things here and there but I can't help but feel worse about everything and I feel like a failure that amounts to nothing.I try my best to not be pessimistic but in the end I either become daze, forget and cry unknowingly. There's so much things I want to say, so much things I want to scream and yell about but I feel like I shouldn't do it. I just want things to stop. yk?

[@floof6896]

why was your account made just a day ago

[@yourmom-or9be]

@@floof6896 actually I realized I was watching youtube with no account just a moment ago and then this account got created when I commented

[@av_yuu]

I kinda relate a bit to your story. I'm glad that I'm not the only one struggling with it...I hope everything gets better to you. Thank you for sharing your story, it made me feel acknowledged.

[@giacomogermani8451]

Thanks for sharing, consider seeing a psychologist. Sometimes it's important to ask for help, sometimes family is trying to help you but don't really know how to do it properly.

[@geoffreymikhailnavarrouy9609]

It’s ok you laughed that’s not depression at least your a little bit happy it is a sign you still like life

[@aaltomuncher]

I've been experiencing depression for more than five years before I ever knew what it actually was. It seemed to get worse when I discovered it. At this point, I'm just trying to heal myself bit by bit, although it'd probably take a million bits for me get better one day.

[@Someone3951]

Well do 1 bit per second and you get 11 days, 13 hours 46 minutes and 40 seconds and good for you we livin right now

[@starlight8115]

I feel you, I've had depression since I was 9 (I'm almost an adult now) and I had almost completely forgotten all about why I got depressed to begin with and the process of me going to therapy, as well as getting diagnosed (but I probably wasn't told my diagnosis since I was so little). I do know I was supposed to get on med ms and keep on going to therapy, but I didn't because my family couldn't afford it anymore, and so I was left with untreated depression for several years. As I grew up, I learnt about what it was, and at some point I remembered a lot of those things. During the pandemic it only got worse, so much so that my parents decided to get me back into therapy and was diagnosed for the second time with depression. I was also on antidepressants for a while, but once again, there were issues, so I stopped taking them and now I'm not going to therapy anymore. Everything is just too much and I don't know what to do. I just want to get away from here, because I feel like if there is no major change in my life, I'm seriously gonna give up. I can't get away right now because I'm still a minor, but I'm trying my hardest to hang on. Hopefully when I'm older I'll be able to get the help I need

[@djfrost6760]

@@starlight8115 hey, my name's Aves, bleh, idk why I'm texting you, I guess you kinda remind me of a friend of mine, don't move to California, it's awful, I heard Portland Oregon is nice, if a bit chaotic. My friends and I moved to Bloomington Illinois, idk how much it has compared to what you have. But it's given a lot of opportunities for my friends and I who felt the need to desperately move from California. I don't know your whole situation tho, I do wish you luck out there human, I don't know your pronouns 😅

[@CryptoVinceTeam]

Mine got worse too when I figured out all my symptoms were from depression.

[@claudiapeet1835]

i definitely relate to this as a person who has had depression ever since i was a teenager. it’s definitely hard to deal with life when my mind is screaming at me. i want it all to stop… the thoughts to quiet down, but idk how to stop them. i’ve been tired more and more every day and my family says “i understand” but i don’t believe it, they also only say “is this you just being hard on yourself again?” - but i don’t think i was ever nice to myself or experienced kindness growing up, so of course i’m going to be hard on myself and think of myself in a negative light because i was never taught from a young age to be kind to myself. i was always criticized and it still happens in my adult life too. people said to me in high school, “you don’t look depressed.” but i never knew what to tell them and my go to answer when people ask how i am is “fine” or “good” when i know i’m mentally exhausted. i just feel broken.

[@insertnamehere663]

I’m a husband and father of two that has been dealing with many of these factors. Waking up exhausted and/or drained has been very tough for me, especially since I’m the one who is taking care of the kids in the mornings. There will be nights where I will sleep 8-10 hours straight, or an hour here, two hours there with the same result. Constantly feeling tired and sluggish almost every morning puts such a strain on me because I want to make sure I get my kids taken cared of when they’re up (breakfast, getting dressed, bathing, etc.) while trying to get out of the “funk” That I’m dealing with. Losing joy and pleasure of tasks and hobbies has been another huge factor as well. I would love playing my instruments and video games, and my kids would love watching me play them, but it has been hard to pick up a controller or the instrument because I have lacked heavily in motivation or joy in doing so. It has gotten so bad, that my oldest has asked “daddy, why don’t you play anymore?” Which I just give the excuse of something like “daddy is too tired” or “daddy is taking a break,” because he’s too young to know what I’m dealing with and why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling (I say it just like this because I’ve never been officially diagnosed with any type of depression). The food factor has been very tough as well. There will be more days where I will eat one big meal daily, or two medium sized meals. On the days I eat the one huge meal, it’s at night after work. I’ll find something in the fridge or freezer to cook up (because my family is asleep when I get home), and eat to my heart’s “content,” or until I can’t eat anymore, making that my only meal of the day. On the days that I eat more than once, it’s usually making the breakfast in the morning and the usual late night dinner. The hopelessness is the biggest mental hurdle for me because of my family. My day to day life feels like there isn’t much that’s left to achieve or strive for, but I shield this as much as I can to my wife and kids because I don’t want them to be dragged down with me in the mental state that I’m feeling. At home with my family, I do what I can to look and feel as normal as I possibly can, but when they are not around, I feel numb and just want to cry. I do feel anger and I get easily stressed, but I mostly feel numb when they’re not around. It’s like having a mask over my face when I’m at home, and taking it off when I go to work or have a night off to myself. The physical pain is also a struggle. Going back to the sleep inconsistencies, I do wake up with pain throughout my back and legs. I had a work accident 8 years ago and injured my shoulder, and it hasn’t flared up until I have been feeling these things. Since then, it would bother me a few times a week, making it difficult to do just the basic tasks throughout the day, let alone going to work. I’m usually on my feet all day long, and most days, I wouldn’t have to worry about my feet hurting. Lately, it’s like I’m walking through pins and needles morning, noon, & night. Even if I haven’t done much throughout the day, it still feels as if I trekked up a mountain by day’s end. I’ve had chronic back pain for as long as I can think of, and I would love to get that, as well as my mental state taken cared of, but I’m on a budget and I can’t really afford those services now, nor does it look like it’ll be happening anytime soon. I just keep thinking to myself that I’m just in a funk, but this “funk” has been lasting for months now, and I feel like I’m losing the battle more by the day. I don’t really have anyone to talk to, as I have MAJOR social anxiety, as well as having very little social media to begin with. Throwing this out there does help because it’s been one of the only times I’ve been able to vent this out. I’ve kept myself bottled up until now, and I’m fighting back tears as I put this altogether. I don’t need sympathy from anyone, I just wanted to let this off my chest because it’s been a big struggle for me to deal with.

[@-urlocalpieceoframen-2482]

it’s like you’re always tired and then u don’t wanna talk to anyone.

[@Someone3951]

Same

[@the_UF365]

I think that depression is caused most often by life showing you way too often that people don't care about your issues, so then the brain shuts down, saying " I'm done caring about this if the world does not care about me. From family neglect, to abuse, to having issues making true friendships, to struggling with who you are and what you actually want, this disorder strikes when the world has convibced you to give up most hope in trying to be happy in life.

[@lene456]

This. And then you stop to feel emotions to protect yourself from getting even more hurt from people and life in general, but the numbness hurts almost just as much.

[@shirleywashington4969]

All of these videos have helped in some way,Especially this one as it is almost Impossible to explain to someone how depression affects you without sounding whiny or pathetic, I’m sharing this with a few who might better understand, not having support makes self care almost impossible 🙏🏼 God Bless and TRY Not to Give Up… 💕

[@RepaApache]

I watch most of your videos and I see that some of the characteristics you mention they match my best friend and she means everything to me because she and I go through tough times and my life is just rough so I decide to stay awake with her to see if she was okay but then suddenly when I was video calling her she was holding a razor and she started to cut herself in front of me and I just couldn’t help but start crying, and everytime i see her scars it just hurts me deep and I cry once I get back home , it hurts to see her like this and she also is helping out her friends navigate through times , thanks for all the support you people give I really appreciate it and I hope you also heal no matter what and stay strong

[@alicemullins5081]

Kind of my story: I'm not diagnosed, but everything about this video is on point with me. And I've felt literally all of the symptoms. I feel worthless sometimes, and I don't enjoy doing the things I used to be so passionate about anymore. I've lost a lot of friends because of me shutting myself out of the world. I made myself lose my spark. Everything is in black and white to me. I used to be more than what I am. I used to be that one person who would make everything seem colorful. But, now I just feel like a burden to anyone I interact with. I dont try enough anymore and I don't feel like I can. (I'll finish later)

[@btw_itslucky6701]

Finish it now..I wanna know

[@grizel8054]

I can understand this feeling very well

[@GodOfVoid000]

Same

[@anicymusic2976]

I agree I ha never been diagnosed with depression but every single point in the video matches with what i am feeling.... I am senior in High school and I still suck in my every science subjects😢

[@GigiAndContent]

Same

[@CitrusCitrus]

I'm currently going to the doctors in an hour to finally talk about how I've been feeling , I'm hoping all goes well and they will actually take me srs! This will help me communicate how I feel, so thank you :)

[@posieandrosie]

well gl and i hope you feel a bit better ❤

[@Someone3951]

Good luck how do i do that sign mean good luck ill just do this (\/)

[@kintorimakarikazuka2268]

I'm crying watching this, this is how I feel for almost 4 years now

[@user-lb1fl7sh8m]

Please don’t let yourself reach that point my friend, that should never ever be an option because we as humans are capable of anything and if ur capable killing ur self your also capable of saving your self from my own suicidal experience exercise was my way out of dark thoughts I feel like it gave me purpose especially when you start to see progress you realize how much you can accomplish with our own hands im down 75lbs and it wasn’t easy but nothing is in this life when it turns u into a better person but I can assure you it’s worth it because you become positive in so many ways that you couldn’t even imagine and trust me that positivity is contagious and you never you might help other dealing with what u are currently ❤

[@izzynato9612]

I wanted to share a poem I had written about my depression, it is kind of long but I hope you enjoy it as much as possible. Also I am currently feeling much happier so there's no need to worry. If you read the whole thing congratulations, you survived my struggle. What is depression really, I guess it's wanting to stay in bed because no matter how much you try to at night you can't sleep, it's feeling exhausted mentally and emotionally, you're completely drained from doing nothing but having a conversation, it's feeling sad for absolutely no reason, you get easily frustrated and are constantly wanting to give up even with the simplest things, you're always too tired to keep trying and might just let yourself fail, you could feel done with life even if you just had the best day, your energy is spent so quickly, sometimes you may not be sure what to do with yourself because you're constantly bored, with this boredom you might be looking for something new to keep you happy but nothing works, it sometimes makes you feel like everything you do is a waste of time, it makes you feel worthless, like you shouldn't exist, like you should have never been born, it's like if you didn't wake up in the morning everything would be fine and maybe better, it messes with your thoughts and turns them all dark, it can make you want to cry but it won't let you, it wants you to stay closed up and have you keep everything inside even though it knows you can't, it's going to make you explode and keep to yourself, doess it end, does it ever end, does it ever go away, will it ever leave me alone, I don't mind time to myself but it makes me feel lonely even when others are around, I hate it and wish it didn't exist, just go away, I can't stand the constant headaches, the reminders of my past, it all hurts and I'm sick of it, go away and take those nightmares with you, they don't help, you don't help, I've wanted to give up but I can't allow it, I won't let you win, I can't because as much as I'd like to it wouldn't be any better, I don't know what will happen next in my life but I know I can expect pain, as to what happens after my life I can't say I know and that scares me, I'd rather expect pain than a mystery

[@Preciousoxurus379.]

Amazing

[@cupofjoe1785]

Sadly, relatable

[@chelseaspringer982]

I relate to this

[@user-in2sh4vt5g]

Just hoping that your happiness has longed till now.

[@rexasaurus3853]

Well done 👏

[@judyaru.]

This channel always speak what's inside my heart I had depression for 3 years since i was 12 due to bullying from teachers and students and from family fights After that i start healing my self for another two years but...this year was the worst in my life....my dad went to jail even tho he's a victim and our neighbor find this situation as a chance to steal our money and they did Now i live with my mom and my younger siblings and seeing her struggle mentally physically and financially is breaking my heart Not to mention seeing other ppl enjoying their life makes me so sad that I'm not like them.... I'm at the last year of highschool and I'm the nerd of my class so i want to get excellent grades so i can go to college and start working beside my studys so i can help my family But all of this things demotivate me due to stress anxiety and depression I'm scared of failing I'm afraid of the future i want to be someone in the future so i can help my family Thanks to psych2go for always uploading t-is kind of videos it always helps me to get my menatl health better

[@Psych2go]

Thank you so much for sharing this and empowering the community with your story.

[@liahmacncheese7495]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. While my family situation isn't the same as yours, I can relate to how you're feeling. The beginning of this year was particularly hard for my family, since we were struggling with some mental health problems and my family started to fall apart. I began to see my future fall apart too. I felt so helpless, like I had failed, and maybe if I had done something different this wouldn't have happened. You may feel the same way too right now. And I know you've heard this a billion times and you're probably sick of people saying it, but it is going to be okay. Because no matter how hard this time is eventually it is going to reach an end. It might take a long, slow time for that to happen, but I know you can make it. One thing I didn't do during or after that time was talk about how I was feeling. Even now, while my family has started getting back on track with their lives, I still hold these feelings of depression. Since I didn't tell anyone I've been feeling like this, usually my laziness or lack of interest is confused with being spoiled or selfish. While it is good to write down how you're feeling, please don't keep it to yourself. Talk to your mom about it. Let her talk to you about how she's coping. It will help, trust me. Another thing you mentioned was being scared to fail in school, but that you're also losing interest in your work. I can also relate to this. I'm working through the exact same thing right now. Basically what I've been doing is just forcing myself to get through it. Don't focus on what your last test score was or what you haven't done yet, just focus on the question in front of you and give it your best. And when you get a test score back, it doesn't matter what score you got, you should be proud of yourself for getting it done! It is really hard during these times to even get out of bed let alone focus on school, so each time you show up you are proving yourself stronger than anyone else there! I'm also still working on my school, and I'm still figuring it out, so I'll let you know how it's going! I hope this helps you and your family, sorry it's so long😁

[@judyaru.]

@@liahmacncheese7495 No need to apologize if it's too long Thanks for supporting me💕 Tbh right now I'm trying to isolate myself from everyone and trying to focus on my school I'm meditating by listening to motivational music and talking with my mom about everything inside my heart Bc after that incidence i realized that my family is going to be always by myside and I'll always trust them I hope something cheer you up like you did to me Even tho we're strangers but I'm sure You're a nice person I hope you and your family get better soon Please stay strong too because this world is tough and we need to face it to get into a better place And again thanks for encouraging me💕

[@liahmacncheese7495]

@@judyaru. that's so great to hear! My family has been doing alot better too btw and I'm glad you're doing well😁💖

[@robotboytrbmobile4945]

These videos help me a lot. Not only to understand the depression I had once, but also what my friends might be going through. It sadens me to see them sad, weak, or overall bad. I have made myself a support for them. I've told them that if they need something, whether it is someone to talk to or if they just want me to listen, that I'll always be there for them. I will even go so far for them as to not sleep if they need me. I have been through a lot of pain myself, so I can take on anything, as long as they are happy.

[@DailydoseofColton-be3gv]

TECHNOBLADE NEVER DIES!!!!

[@Kalaphant]

That's really nice!

[@ChimingSkyBell]

I can definitely relate to some of these. I first experience depression, or maybe it was just anxiety, back in March. During my spring break. Because I was comparing myself to others in the art community. Now, for 1 month or so now, started on May 30, I have been feeling depressed. I think receiving two copyright strikes on my channel is what did it. So I quit uploading, and now I'm still comparing and struggling to feel motivated. Or positive at all. I constantly feel down, and panicky when I think too much. To feel wanted or loved by the media. Idk. At one point, I lay on my bed, tried to sleep it off, and couldn't. I was awake that entire time.

[@dante9535]

I can relate to this, waking up tired and not wanting to go to school because I don't have friends there and I have no to talk to, I had struggles with my family too, I never felt I wanted to help or do something because of how stupid I am to help, I don't know what I did to lose friends but I've been trying to be a better friend but when it comes to making conversations I couldn't catch up or just think about what am I going to say, I've been trying to do everything for my friends and Family but It was hard to be a better person and become the best son, brother, even friend, I've been losing friends and others and I just feel like bad person

[@aristobitro196]

I can see myself here... Dosen't matter how hard i try, it never feels enough. Even just having a conversation is complicated. That feeling that tells me it doesn't matter whether I'm there or not, nothing would change...

[@RepaApache]

I would definitely talk to you if I were in your school

[@markjrcolin1210]

I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety since I was a kid. I’d describe it almost as being underwater, but for me, being underwater is peaceful. Depression for me is day to day fatigue, extreme mood swings, high irritability. It truly does feel like an invisible weight on the mind. Life for me is always viewed involuntarily through a nihilistic lense, which is truly a challenge to not do. Depression can spike, at least for me, when, say, a loved one or family member doesn’t seem to love me back. For example, when my dad told me “If you don’t surpass your mother and I, then we have failed as parents” when I was going through highschool, it put an extreme pressure on me to surpass both my parents combined just to please my dad. It felt like I was essentially powerless in operating under his will instead of my own. But I allowed it for a long time because I felt like I had no choice in the matter. Depression makes you blind to the options in life, you see things through a narrow lense, or tunnel vision. A great example of this is when my dad told me to enroll my dog in training that I couldn’t afford (and it was the wrong training, he didn’t do good research), I thought my only other option to make him happy was to get rid of my dog entirely. I asked every friend I knew if they’d want to adopt my dog, and thankfully nobody took her. I’m grateful for that because my dog has been my steadfast companion that has helped dig me out of my depression pits. Depression is like a pair of shackles, attempting to lock you to something bad. Depression for me is rarely associated with anything positive. I remember when my depression was really bad, that all I could think about is how to end my feelings. I needed something to calm and quiet my mind. Because my depression wasn’t properly taken care of for years, it also manifested as a sort of alternate internal monologue. This monologue was separate from my own, and only whispered negative ideas and concepts to me. It’s like having a nagging voice telling you stuff that you never want to hear. To this day my dad has never understood depression and has no idea how to address it other than making sure that his family members who have depression are taking their medications. He thinks that medication is a full cure to depression, when it really isn’t. To get depression under control, you not only need the right meds that work best for you, and the right doses. But you also need other supports. Supportive Family and friends, useful meditation tools, as well as any sort of brain exercise that addresses any bottled up emotions or unaddressed feelings. Depression is a condition that never rests or takes a break. Every hour is a battle for general joy. But every win is special and something to be acknowledged. One good day is better than none. And if we can have one good day, who’s to say we can’t have more, eh?

[@isthataspider7410]

That was an incredible speech. Well spoken, and I wish you many good days to come!

[@elliesmith4005]

I agree with Moonstruck almost all of it, however what I am going through is completely different from anyone else's journey through depression. Overall I think you did a great job describing something that is so different for everyone.

[@bobbynam7516]

Mine hit first time seriously this year when I was cut from my team. But for a while, I thought it got better. I was happy with my friends and found a life outside of just the sport. However, then it came again when my sibling asked me when would I get anything right in life. At that point self harm became a comforting thought. I didn’t know what specifically made me that sad, but the occurrence definitely triggered it. I felt like I was just useless, my chest always got heavy for no reason, and I just felt sad constantly without anything triggering it. Today I made it out of it. I know I will relapse again one day, but if anyone is out there please take a moment and breathe. Because I know it doesn’t feel like anything you can describe. The constant pain of nothingness causes you to desire emptiness even more. But for my sake and yours, I believe in you. Get out of this because life will be so much better once you do. I believe you can do it, because someone as useless as me did❤

[@AlexKr.]

My story is fairly simple. I was bullied a lot in my younger years by both classmates and parents, and with time I developed depression, as well as social anxiety. The path out of this is never easy, but after years of hopelessness, I can finally find some joy in life! I know it's cliché to say that "things will get better", but they really do! I still feel like shit a lot, but I know those feelings are just temporary and that I'm stronger than that. Just having a positive outlook on life helps, even if forced.

[@mwlkyway2775]

not always

[@moonlight-fx9eg]

I am glad that you are happy now , but things aren't the same for me , like my therapist told me to think positive, I did it I used to think positive all the time , but after somedays I could feel the shallowness in it cuz I was forced to say it saying "I am happy" did not really made me happy instead it felt fake maybe I was not doing it right

[@AlexKr.]

@@moonlight-fx9eg maybe that doesn't work for you and that's okay, we all have our different techniques that work. And it doesn't always work perfectly, sometimes I get in sad moods that I can't get out of easily, so I try other things. It's about finding what works for you

[@moonlight-fx9eg]

@@AlexKr. Well thanks , I will definitely try to find new things

[@AlexKr.]

@@moonlight-fx9eg give it time and you will find solutions to your problems, I am doing that as well. Good luck and don't lose hope :)

[@variahusen3116]

1_ 0:39 waking up exhausted and draind 2_ 1:12 felling as if there's no joy in life 3_ 2:03 low self-esteem 4_ 2:40 complicated relationship with food 5_ 3:28 everything feels hopeless 6_ 3:59 unhealthy sleeping patterns 7_ 4:37 physical pain

[@Someone3951]

14th :)))))

[@Frog12349]

I never had depression, but if you do you can take to people if no friends talk to people on line or go to a comment of this video and talk to someone you are not alone their people who love you in this world don't push them away. Love thi self and others Keep up the great work psych2go

[@Gileseypops]

I remember about 6 months ago talking about my mental health with a friend, and it hit me as I said it....I haven't actually been excited or elated about anything in life for years now. That's not to say I've been unhappy either....I've recently had some amazing experiences, travelled, met amazing people, hung out with great friends and had overall a very happy life. But I remember going...for example...on a plane, travelling for 4 months to my favourite place in the world. Not everyone can do that. I should have been excited, thrilled! But i wasn't. The highest positive emotion I could get out of myself was 'sigh...this is nice'.

[@Blank123.]

After reading a few comments, I have decided to share a piece of my story. Since I was about 5-7 years old, I've always been a defensive person. Whether it be me defending myself or those I cared about. I developed this trait in pre-K when I was getting bullied, and my parents decided to do nothing about it. Looking back, pretty much seems like I've always been bullied. One day when I was in young 5's and I had gotten in trouble for something that I had no involvement with, I lashed out on a supervisor that was walking me to my class. Mainly because they kept prodding me and I couldn't give them an answer. As I got older and went into elementary, I started hating my parents more because they never did anything for me in these situations. I've never had any friends that were girls when I was a kid because I never really got along with them. More or less, annoyed. I started being friends with the boys because I thought they were so cool and more "reasonable." Am I a boy myself? No, I'm still a female, but it just made the girls at school hate me more. I never really liked any of their crushes, I had my own. Some were in school, a few were from a different school. My mom used to work 2 jobs, one was at a pizza place and the other was at an antique shop. I usually went with my mom to work after school or on the weekends and helped out a little or watch over the owner's son at the shop. Even though he was a year older than me. And at this time, we were both still kids, I was 7 and he was 8. There would be times where we would get into a fight physically and one of us would be left bruised. One day, he coaxed me into a s3x@ul favor for him and it didn't end well since we both got into a fight, and I ran out crying and starting to have panic attacks. I think this was the point where I started maladaptive daydreaming considering I started to think the multiple scenarios and get so wrapped up that I wouldn't notice how much time had passed. I told my mother about this after we left, and she didn't believe me. Just told me that I didn't even know exactly and to not worry about it. After that I started to keep things to myself, get more agitated with every passing year. At some point I told her that I think I need help, that I was depressed. She asked me "how do you know?" I told her that I felt sad all of the time, that I became angry at a lot of people and didn't feel like doing anything ever. Keep in mind that I told her this when I was 8 years old. 8, and didn't even know what depression was yet. She just told me that I was fine, and I didn't need help. So, I decided to never bring it up again. That's just part of the reason of my depression, I just started with the earliest sign when I tried to stop it. Presently, I wish I was adopted or been born into a different family where I wouldn't have to deal with the amount of bs I have to put up with just because. If this gets too long, my condolences.

[@Psychimera]

I can personally understand not gelling with your own gender. I'm a guy, and I don't have deep connections with guys. Girls seem a lot more reasonable to be with - not that I ever approach any, since I view talking to people as wasting their valuable time.

[@Jummies1141]

I'm so sorry that you had to deal with this. I hope you heal from this and that life gets better for you. Sending you Love and Support. 💓💓💓

[@karenyang3167]

My parents are basically the same way. I have a fear of the unknown, but when I told them about it, they dismissed it, saying things like how it'll go away when I get older. I just grew even more distant with them, to the point where I didn't see them as my parents anymore.

[@Reeseington]

As someone who’s dealt with depression, and who’s lost friends to suicide, I can attest that it’s never even close to worth it. The best people to tell are those who care about you and are willing to listen. Go to a counselor, or a teacher that you trust and have a good relationship with, and do anything you can to get help.

[@T.H.Y.R.O.]

I can't believe I'm still depressed, this explanation is very realatible.. And for everyone out there: Life is a gift, and you are amazing just the way you are! Let nothing pull you down. There is always someone that will love you in the right way! I wish y'all the best! Sorry if it's a mess, I can't think straight since I have a lot in my mind lately

[@Someone3951]

Well thank you one like from me but

[@T.H.Y.R.O.]

@Vipul Yadav ty for understanding ❤

[@T.H.Y.R.O.]

@@Someone3951 ♡

[@AmtrakCitiesSprinter64]

Just be happy, you’ll thank me later (It’s a joke btw)

[@T.H.Y.R.O.]

@@AmtrakCitiesSprinter64 Haha ok ty, you too ♡

[@cagetheelephantlover]

i love how this channel gives me more comfort to vent than with my own family. love u, psych2go 💗

[@user-xt7ts5qv8j]

it hurts when people around you say that you will never become anything because you have condition

[@min-hakim5868]

After reading some of the comments, I would like to share my own story. From an early age, I was always considered to be different: good and bad both. I was a bookworm and a nerd if you will, and didn't have any problems with it myself. I always distanced myself from other kids because I liked that I was in a personal bubble and it was more exciting than the reality. So, in a way, I was left out in any classroom activities that would have created some sort of support system from school. I had no clue that adults could intentionally harm kids out of malice and spite until gr. 3. Around this time, my mom who was always trying to get me to have some social interactions with my peers started working full time with my dad being abroad. We lived with my grandparents who doted on me and let me be. It finally came crashing down one day when my mom was called by the school about an incident from school. My teacher who I admired at that time started to bully me in sneaky ways until I couldn't take it any more and lashed out physically, coming to blows with another student. That was when I started to believe that I had to fend for myself in the cold world if I wanted to survive because I've lost faith in authority figures and adults in general because they have failed me when I needed help. When I was growing up, even though it took a lot of effort and hard work, I generally triumphed over my obstacles and felt that I could do anything if I applied myself. That's when it came as a shock when I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes because I was only 19 or 20 at the time. One of the comments that hurt me the most was from a nurse who said she has never seen someone in my condition who was so young. That made me blame myself for everything and I felt useless. My family tried to help me by trying everything so I will be able to go into remission. But, I felt abandoned emotionally. I didn't want to change my diet, didn't want to be forced to exercise with my mom in toll, didn't want to do blood work every three months for my A1C only to be told I've failed to do my homework. After going through extreme measures that were unstainable in diet and exercise regimes like going extremely carnivore and exercising 5 times a week, having to move on from metformin and rapaglinide because my stomache couldn't take it any more, and being told they will put in on long and short term insulin finally broke me. It was like hearing a death sentence for me, and I felt they've given up on me, my body has given up on me. I was a failure and there's only downhill from now on. My parents have supported me through this, but they were like my life support. My dad would try to have heart to heart conversations and my mom dragged me to the gym with her 3 days of the week, but my heart just wasn't into it any more. I've also developed bad body image at this time because I've started to have skin problems that comes and goes like atopic dermatitis. I was angry at the world, myself, and the situation as the whold with nobody to blame but myself. I prided myself on my intellect. I should have known better. My endrocronologist had referred me to a therapist at this time and I started the healing process. I was able to see beyond my angers because it was self-torture, and I wanted to move beyond this and heal myself and my family. I started to go to church and participated in Bible studies at my mom's urging. I found some contexts for the feelings and thoughts that was in my head, and started to share some of my feelings and thoughts and reached out to others. I feel like I am returning the favors and kindness others have shown me, including my mom who also has started Bible study herself recently through her own depression symptoms. I've worked through my problems and still have a few that I'm working towards like my lack of concentration and insomnia. I'm taking baby steps one step at a time, and I believe I can get better. I'm sorry if this was too long for you to read. I've started to rant because I feel a little bit emotional tonight. Hope everythings all good with you all.

[@kicou88]

You will make it my friend, one baby step at a time as you said, take your time and don't hesitate to speak with your relatives when you don't feel well. Don't keep the negative emotions inside your chest. You are strong to deal with such disease. As a religious person I tell you the strongest of people go through the hardest of tests in this life because the Almighty loves them and wants to transform them into the best version of themselves. Keep trying you are doing a perfect job and I'm sure in a few months or a few years you will be proud of what you have achieved.

[@reflexfusion9830]

You will make it bro and I really hope you do. I truly mean that, I’m going through things my self which I’m still not comfortable talking about but I do have some understanding of how you are thinking. I know everyone is different so my experience is different from yours which is why I said “some understanding” also because me personally when people tell me they “get me” or “fully understand” I know that they don’t know shit

[@cht2162]

I can sense your boredom reading this autobiography.

[@Triadii]

Theres no point in sharing a story when ’nobody cares’ online

[@lawrencebaltimore7284]

@@Triadii Don't be rude just be nice God don't like rude.

[@joevonwolfenstein21]

I don't know about my story giving any hope or benefit to someone else but I can say I like your voice; a lot! It may seem capricious to say intuition knows what's best but it usually is a good barometer of character and my intuition tells me you care. And that's sometimes the difference between life and death. Thank you for giving your gift to the general public and most of all to me! God love you and bless you forever more!

[@erinmoyer3486]

Was diagnosed with clinical depression years ago. Pretty much started from just being genetically picked, since depression runs in the family. I noticed it also was because i felt very invisible and unimportant. I felt like i was nothing to everyone. I wasn’t anyone’s favorite, even though i had a best friend and a younger sister. Depression doesnt stop you from feeling the way you do. You just feel depression, and it is so incredibly difficult to change your thoughts. Hope this description can help somebody realize they might be depressed :)

[@TheBestFont]

On the part about physical pain, It is also a complex relationship. Self harm is a real thing, and is closely tied to the feelings of unworthiness, thus feeling like you need to punish yourself.

[@ma-am-thats-a-crescent-roll]

I totally understand what this is like. When I was pulled out of in-person school and started homeschooling in 3rd grade I started developing depression for more reasons than just isolation. But after dealing with untreated depression for about 5 years, I went to therapy, got on meds, and made an effort to start doing things again. It's been a couple of years, and I can actually say that my situation got better, and yours can too. You can do this, I believe in you

[@Someone3951]

As an American Salute Freedom for all dont let deppresion trap ya But if that dont work just relax But Im doing russian roullete with nerf guns with my lads right now ( why nerf guns we citzens never chose to get a gun when we are allowed to )

[@eunminwoo]

Omg me too. When I started homseschooling, I felt this emptiness where I couldn't feel anything at some point

[@mr.junior7880]

Did you ever do any activities?

[@ma-am-thats-a-crescent-roll]

@@mr.junior7880 I tried to, but I had so little motivation to do anything. And when I did do them, it never helped.

[@mr.junior7880]

@@ma-am-thats-a-crescent-roll Oof, I've always my family around me to do stuff with. Now that we're older, nobody really has time to do fun stuff or they just wanna do their own thing. It's just so sad.

[@athalot1]

Thanks! Just a huge thank you (and a firm hug

[@ito916]

I have many friends, online. And its surprising how they understand me better and make me feel safer than my own family.

[@quinzys1729]

Ca 2019 I got depressed because many people/pets that i loved died. My polish grandgrandma that i loved so much passed away after a heartattack. 2 Months later, our 9 year old cat passed away because of inherited stomach cancer, my good friend alex that really meant something to me ghosted me after 2 years of friendship. And after ive got bullied so hard that i wanted to stay in all day, i got depressed. I isolated myself even further and stop talking to my friends (or most of them). And there it comes :the pandemic.. Because of online class i couldnt even go to school and i felt trapped and alone. My parents argued every day which made my situation even worse. I cried everyday in my bed because i was telling myself that i have deserved all of this because theres no one that loves me or that care about me. That has been going on for 1 month until we found a baby cat in the forest which we adopted. I felt better because i could always talk with her or cuddle with her. 1 year later she died in our living room because after an operation her stomach has torn open and she meowed painfully and died 40 seconds after. After that i really wanted to die. I felt like ive lost everyone close to me. After about 6 months i failed class and had to retake it which meant i wouldnt see my classmates again (they finished school and i was the only one that didnt.) In that time ive refound psych2go (because i watched her videos once a few years ago) and i found videos about depression so i ended up watching every video i could see because it felt so friendly and lovely and was a variety to the daily stress ive gone through. That calm voice really helped me calm down. But still i had lost the believe that my depression would ever go away so i stoped fighting and sit all day in my bed. Ive also created an also, I've gotten into a bad habit of always smiling because I didn't think I was worth people worrying about me. But a few months later, ive found a girl that wanted to be friends with me and we are best friends now. She really helped me with my depression because she gave me the feeling that someone likes me and my personallity. My depression isnt really gone but at least its not attacking me for now. I still have some phases late at night (because i always cried then) that i feel down and very self hated. I know that my grammar might not be the best here, but I hope you understood anyway. My tips: Open up to a person you don't know in any context. Not just anyone on the street, of course, but someone you find trustworthy. Because you don't have to worry about anything. Depression isn't something anyone would laugh about. So hear music. Music made me feel understood and welcomed. If a weirdo like me can come over 2 years of depression, it should be a piece of cake for you

[@XDMations]

I've had depression for almost my entire life from a bunch reason, but eventually grew out of it and took control over my life, it wasn't a short process or a fun one neither, but damn life looks so much better now and fun

[@nooneunderthesun]

I’ve been struggling with depression for 7 years. At first I started to lean on the feeling coming from my old relationship that left me feeling too much pressure but then I realized that’s my whole life. Everyday I feel pressure from my family, and it’s left me to feel like a burden. 3 years ago I almost killed myself from feeling hopeless. I am in extreme loneliness and constant state of numbness. Right now it’s gotten worse, I feel like depression will never leave my side, it’s became apart of me. I’m more than sad, I’m miserable, I pray to not feel this but everyday I do, I’m in pain.

[@RomiSovit]

I’ve been dealing with depression for at least a year now and I sent to my friend after trying to explain it to them this help a lot thanks for the video

[@dylan._.9712]

i have a friend who has depression, and he falls under all these categories. but tomorrow hes going to meet his therapist so thats cool edit: hes now getting professional help so thats good edit 2: now hes in a mental hospital and i might never see him again

[@izzy7998]

Ever since I started school in person after doing it online for 5 years, I felt like I never truly belonged, well, anywhere. I was sheltered, and stayed at home on a farm with my mom and siblings all day without a clue of what was really going on in the world. 5th-7th grade was awful. I got horrible grades, was overemotional, and said or did things that weren't appreciated and caused bullying and many, many misunderstandings. I became a loner, and couldn't really stick with a particular friend group. Covid and doing schoolwork online gave me a new perspective on how to reach success, but I got it in 9th grade, was quarantined again for three months, and everything I once had was lost. I was diagnosed with GAD and unspecified depression in 10th grade, after researching and finding out I likely have ADHD and high functioning autism. Nevertheless, I made a friend who's autistic and I'm planning to start a Neurodiversity Club at my school! I'll admit, I have more trouble fitting in than I ever did, but it's not so bad when you finally find yourself and your goals. To anyone out there struggling: 1. You're not alone 2. Life won't always be this way 3. You aren't at fault for this 4. Your struggles do not define you 5. Those struggles will help you grow as a person

[@Shockwave00108]

I can relate to all of this and I'm glad to see someone touching on this topic because it's not easy to open up about it for some people. Even as someone with severe depression, watching these videos has exposed myself to things I didn’t even realize were connected. That point you made about the physical pain, I hadn’t realized that mine has been linked to my depression! I also had never realized that my habit of staying up late was linked either, I've always just seen it as me getting too focused on my music or any other things I need to do. Thanks for making a difference! - Jaden aka Shockwave

[@testadiricci]

i was diagnosed with major depression a few months ago, after i came out in burnout for my first year in university. i'm still trying to get better and got therapists following me, but i realized just this week for how long i've been manifesting depression and no one got my struggle. what i hate the most is that people around me can't help but tell me "it's just your mind, it's just you exagerating your basical mental struggle". FXXK NO PEOPLE, DEPRESSION IS A GODDAMN BRAIN DAMAGE, stop thinking it's just people being lazy or dramatic or sad for everyone reading this and struggling like me, you are not alone❤ you'll get over it

[@TheKrazeeLadee]

There was a point in my life where I could tick all of the boxes in this video. Luckily, after therapy and opening up to my family and friends about what goes through my head, I've gone from complete hopelessness to a solid meh. While that's still not 100% healthy, it is a loooooong way from how it used to be and I'm actually pretty proud of myself. I used to sigh and roll my eyes at the phrase "once you start talking about it, it gets easier", but it actually really does get easier.

[@sear9993]

I had a mental breakdown one time a while ago and my mother asked me why I feel depressed. Once it got to that point, I realized I couldn't figure out why I felt bad. I thought I had to have a specific reason why I felt bad and now I realize that I don't.

[@hi-yp8vp]

I feel so shocked I never thought I would relate to all these signs.

[@Azura_Foxy]

It’s hard for me to get through life since I have adhd, anxiety and maybe also depression… For my parents it’s just hard to understand, they can’t really relate to me and so they don’t believe me when I tell them I think I have depression… My school life was really a nightmare and I wish not a single person to live through the school life I’ve been going through so far… But the thing that really helps me is talking with my therapist about my feelings and problems because I know we can figure out solutions together and she understands me

[@iangregory4953]

I used to be depressed but I started to think about the positive and I kind of ignored it and I was able to overcome it and I've never been happier.

[@ItzAutumnHHH]

I am glad that someone out there,even if I don't know them in person understands how I feel daily. None of my family members or friends get it,I just wanted to thank you.

[@lukewise1227]

I have struggled with Complex PTSD, chronic depression and anxiety, as well as a severe spinal injury for many years after a career in law enforcement. My psychs have told me I'm on a par with returned Vets. There are good days where I feel I can take on the world, but they are few, most days are a complex combination of all the symptoms described above. The only advice I can give is one day at a time, one task at a time, and treat completing the simplest of tasks as a personal victory. Whilst mental health support is greater today than in the past, being open and honest about it still sees you treated for the most part like a social outcast. These conditions suck up all the good things and only leave you with the bad. It's with you from sun up to sun down, then visits you in your sleep when you do manage to get some. It's why people who appear ok, take their lives and those around them cannot understand why.

[@luzmendez4511]

For me it’s just this overwhelming weight that wasn’t a lot at first but by middle school I slowly stopped caring for my mental health. I went into this space where I was to tired to do a thing.I was so tired I didn’t want to move my body to get food at lunch this made my relationship with food really tough.I also was manipulated in elementary by some annoying boy.Back then idk what friendships were like as far as I was concerned being nice to someone then punching them telling them it was their fault and leaving for about a week just to come back to repeat the cycle was normal.Now I’m always aware of those around me and I can’t seem to trust anyone.it’s like I want to tell people my problems bc I know they can help me but I’m so scared their gonna take advantage of me I don’t say anything at all.I’ve been slowly dying inside I no longer care about making people think I’m happy bc I no longer have any energy to spare.instead I usually sleep at lunch,at home, and in class when I finish my work.I don’t even have enough energy to cry hahaha…Plus I have to battle the constant thoughts of hurting myself or cutting my life short.Im so tired of a cycle of abusing myself bc that’s the only thing I know how to do at this point.All I needed was to be safe as a kid I didn’t need a random boy to come into my life and mess me up It feels as if I have so much weight and I just want to make it a little lighter but I can’t .I just want this to stop.

[@ArtisticTrex54]

I suffer from Depression and I can relate to all of these.

[@KUR4H]

Man I hope your doing well! I’m sorry for the suffering you’ve had to endure..

[@MarlonValcq]

Same

[@Someone3951]

I can relate but vodka make me felt better

[@Psych2go]

How long have you been experiencing this?

[@ArtisticTrex54]

@@Psych2go I have been suffering with Savere Depression since September last year. I have been watching ur videos since then to help me through these times and I have tried different medications and none have helped. I also have unhealthy coping mechanisms (self-harm). I also hear voices and demons In my head telling me to end my life and just struggle with suicidal thoughts anyways. I have acted on them in the past.

[@depressedpotato6527]

I have been diagnosed with depression since I was a kid and been dealing with it ever since. Went to therapy and took meds, ya know that whole schtick, but it never really worked out all that well. Doesn’t help that I adopted a sort of nihilism and pessimism along the way but I am way too stubborn to let it get me down without some effort. But on the days that it does, I just feel cold both emotionally and physically, and I want to cry like hell but I refuse too because I can’t personally justify crying due to it simply because of how long I’ve had it.

[@lauraimpossible]

I’ve been struggling with depression for 15 years now. Hopelessness about not being able to conquer or live contently with depression is now instilled in my brain. I’ve been better when I had therapy but I’m unable to get another one accepted by health insurance. I hate to sound hopeless, I’m generally an optimistic person. But oh well. I’m depressed, and I’m struggling and it helps to type it out. I hope all of you watching these videos right now have a good day and I wish you strength and patience with yourselves and your loved ones.

[@abigailseakins8554]

I’m a uni student and I’ve recently become depressed. It started a few weeks ago but I just blamed it on my anxiety. I couldn’t sleep well, I couldn’t get out of bed, couldn’t go to campus, and I was in physical pain. I wasn’t enjoying my degree anymore and felt a loss of motivation. I thought if I pushed through I would get better as that is what I’ve done in the past. It failed in the worst way, I ended up having a panic attack at school. I went to the doctors and I was put into counselling and I have recently been put on antidepressants. I only just started them a few days ago and it is making me feel worse. I haven’t been able to shower, brush my teeth, eat much, get changed, or do things I used to enjoy. I feel ashamed that I have lost control of myself. I also feel like a burden as I am making everyone around me worry. Luckily, my mum is coming to take me home soon. She has suffered with the exact same thing I’m going through. It’s quite scary though, never have I thought to myself “I just want to be happy”. It feels like I’m never going to be happy again.

[@alternant.]

In 8th and 9th grade, I was deep in depression and suicidal thoughts. It felt impossible to get out of. I felt like everyone was against me, even my closest friends and family. I constantly felt like screaming but I never did. I had so much to let out without any way of doing it. I think it was happening because everyone seemed to hate me. They made me as if I were smaller than everyone else, even though most of the time it was likely me being paranoid. It felt like I was deep within a black hole with no light shining down, it seems hopeless. I'm not completely sure how I got out of it, but I did for the most part. I still have waves of just hating everything, but I stick with it, I guess I found an anchor, it stop me from going to that deep place again. I found something that could hold me steady and not allow me to fall down that hole again. To be completely honest, I don't know what that anchor is completely, I don't have a girlfriend or anybody like that. It may just have been me realizing the pain from the impact of me leaving outweighed my wanting to escape life. It turned out people cared more than I thought, you just gotta find the right people, it may be hard but it's worth it in the end. No matter how impossible it seems, it's possible, there are people like you that can care about you. You just need to ask for help in the right places. This may not be helpful to anyone and if it isn't I apologize, I'm not good at giving advice or anything, this is just an attempt to help anyone that are currently dealing with depression. Just know it's possible to grow through it. Once you're through it you can see how strong you actually are and it may surprise you.

[@ariv6763]

After a family member(my last living grandfather) passed away when I was 7, my father started becoming unwell. I was very close to my grandfather, and losing him broke me. My depression continued after I lost my best friend, and failed to impress people around me. I'm very close to my father. I fear the day I will lose him, for if i lose him, I wont know what to do. I oversleep everyday, just to get away from the world that has brought me where I am. I have depression, and this video said everything about what it feels like. Thank you, Psych2Go for allowing me to share a part of my depression story.

[@Name-Example]

This made you one step closer for getting better. I'm not really good at giving advice but it's worth a shot. I too once had something similiar to this when my grandma died. I feared of loosing someone I love. I know it'll sound wierd but religion actually helped me, christian to be exact. The more I was told about life and afterlife in general made me more stronger (mentally). Now I no longer fear of loosing someone and I know that even after their death they are still with me, even if I don't realize it and don't think like it. Life WILL have both good and bad moments, but life isn't about how many times you get knocked down but how many times you can get back up. Try to find poeple that can help either doctor, friend or go to the nearby church and ask for help. These people know how and will help you! I hope you will get something from this and I wish you get better and stronger soon! Edit: There are also really good and motivating comments and tips, just scroll for some time.

[@user-rj7ok9vi6j]

I watch your videos every day and night because I was bored of anxiety. My first time ever watched is what parents say that isn’t good for kids and then I even watched more and I loved it. My favorite one was what is your demon

[@elisabramer8611]

In my experience it's like in every happy moment with your friends every time you laugh you still feel sad inside. Like your person is happy but your soul is sad.

[@indicatexxxx2656]

Man why doesn't this channel have more views this probably one of the most realistic channels on youtube

[@DemonOfInk8108]

im aware this is a late comment but I just wanna say thank you to this channel for helping other people in need with whatever they are going through sure we all have tough times but even if those times happen you should never stop smiling there is always a reason to smile, even when you cant understand it so thank you psych2go for making this channel a place where people can always know what do do keep up the good work!

[@Mr.N0B0DY.]

Your voice is so soothing

[@Maarwein]

Right, so it may be a bit late for the thing said to do at 2:00, but ill do it anyway. Every point in this video hits me on the spot. I've also been watching all of the other videos regarding mental health, and how I have been in a general mental decline for the longest time. I quite literally had my life ruined because of school (in terms of mental health). Ever since a certain incident that happened, I have been just feeling a sense of nothing since. No care for school, others, my health/life, hobbies, etc. It doesn't get better, and I have anxiety and social anxiety. This causes me to not be able to tell people. I wish I could tell my family, but they wouldn't believe it. It would also be too expensive for me to get therapy or any professional help. I wish I could get better, but I just keep caring less and doing bad deciisions. Just how its always been.

[@mr.wublin]

I’m honestly grateful to not struggle with depression, but I do struggle with stress/anxiety quite often in my day-to-day life.

[@thedragon4237]

Bro same, I had to give up my childhood and teenage years. And now it’s stressing me out like no tomorrow.

[@BaguettePair]

Who doesn't smh

[@Rainbowfox_]

I use to have multiple of these symptoms, but luckily I found someone who I really connected to and makes me feel happy, but my heart does go out to all those struggling from depressive feelings.

[@douglascoons5434]

I've described it a few ways. Sitting in a soundproof room, being able to see others through a window, being able to see others through a speaker, but not being able to interact at all. or maybe feeling nothing. Absolutely nothing. No happiness, no sadness, no anger, just a dull ache. Other things too, but those are often the main ones I think of.

[@joytiston9769]

Thank you for this. I will always watch and learn from your videos. I'm not depressed, but my fiancé is. So I had to watch all these kinds of videos for me to understand him well.

[@MishkaDelphi]

I didn't necessarily have depression, but during the pandemic I thought I did. I often felt tired of the cycle of my life, my only friend usually talked about her day more than ask about mine, and I felt that my relationship with my parents was going downhill. This went on until my parents wanted me to be friends with their friend's children, at first I was adamant since I became more introverted and shy after the pandemic(since not socializing for 2years takes a toll on you) but then I got more close with them, and I started to feel less lonely. Right now, we don't talk as much as we used to when were newly acquainted but it still makes me happy that they are there for me when I want to talk and likewise. I know it has nothing to do with the video, but I just wanted to share since sometimes it's not just depression that makes you sad sometimes being alone takes a huge toll on you. That's not to say you might not have depression, I'm merely telling my experience. And yes I know it can be hard making friends but you can do it, it just takes time and patience.

[@emuli795]

Right after I got my diagnosis with depression I felt so quilty about it. Me and my mind and my depression said like 'Its my fault why I ended up like that'. Deep down I knew its not like that. My mum also told me the same. That quilty feeling took away all of my energy so I just sat in my home doing nothing. But thanks to your amaizing videos, my meds, my friends and family and my new job I'm feeling so much better than few months ago. Seriously so big thank you gyus! When you posted that video '7 stage of burnout' it felt like it was ment for me and that helped me so much to understand my self. All in all your amaizing videos helping me to understand my self and love to my self. My personal fave videos from you are all of those videos about HSP.🤭👍🏻🤗❤️

[@chchwoman9960]

This is an accurate description, but still, there is an element that is indescribable and you only know it when you feel it. Even doctors and therapists only know if they have experienced it.

[@christianbryant5617]

As a freshman in college with practically no friends, I’ve been struggling for a while.. I went from going to parties and having so many friends in high school to nothing. Yet back then I was still not satisfied.. now it’s even worse. I have the same meaningless routine everyday and I feel so trapped. I have so many outlets and support but I’m too scared to use them or even think of using them. I’m overwhelmed with grief and emotion but you could never tell.. people think I’m fine, just a normal kid. On the inside I feel like I’m the only one going through this. I’m either way too happy and energetic or the complete opposite. I feel like I’m a burden to my family and that I provide them with nothing. I feel Ike I take advantage of them and their time and money.. I want nothing more than to just rush my life ahead. I want a career, family, my own money.. but I’m stuck in school with no job or hobbies. I have to get up everyday and be thankful for what I have and what my future holds though. I can’t live in this state anymore. I have to battle this funk I’m in and persevere. This is the first time I’ve really put myself out there like this. It feels good to put my experience in the comments. I could have it so much worse in life, but with this sickness you can’t concept anything else being worse. It’s like being in a mental prison.

[@jesushelps4735]

I pray to whomever is going through depression

[@kewi5840]

yeah dealing with depression is hard and learning to accept that it is kind of an part of you is even harder. last year i had a breakdown that came form stuffing all the feelings and my past inside of me. growing up in a home where my parents where fighting half the time and drinking alcohol and stuff.... was hard. Especially when you have two smaller siblings that needed protection. But somehow i made it, to live with it without a way bigger situation until last year. It all came out in like a big explosion. I think you can call it like that. After several days of crying and really feeling like death is even better than this feeling. I tried talking to people that are dear to me and very much of them just said "thats a luxury problem that you have". The last thing i wanted to hear when i am already at the bottom but i had two people in my life that really helped me. The first Person was my chef, he said to me "I know it is hard to forget the past but see life as a book the past is written and can't be ereased but when you turn the page there is a blank one and you can write in that whatever you want you just have to take the pen in your hand and do so" And the other a really dear friend of me. She had to experience similiar things. She thaught me to talk about that stuff.... It helps but everyone is diffrent, everyone of us needs diffrent things to feel better. It took me a while to understand what they are telling to me, cause i somehow couldn't unterstand what is happening inside of me but now i see clearer and i am doing better. Not perfect but better, i started do enjoy things in life again and thats all that matters to start living again. I know now depression and traumas are a dark place but it is up to you to take the flashlight in your hand and beginn to walk towards the unkown future, even when it is hard to do that and yeah it even scares you.

[@32glxcks]

i just miss the days when i was 5 and younger when i didn’t struggle with mental health and I’ve been bullied all 3 schools I’ve been and im in high school now and been bullied and not very happy for 6 years and i just get sad remembering the good times of having friends and being happy and life was so good and the only reason i choose to live is for the family members who would be very upset and for my dad who means the world to me and i want to spend time with him before i go and also for my sister because i want her to not have never known her brother It just seems like im living for other people and that’s kind of sad im in cams ( children, adolescent mental services) but it doesn’t seem to get better I hope you guys have a great life ! Growing up sucks

[@kittenmimi5326]

This is true... and especially the last part. Physical pain that is caused by mental makes things difficult, because if you were to go to a regular doctor you will be told that you are "perfectly fine", and whatever headache medications they give you probably wouldnt work at all. Thats what happened to me, anyway. I have depression which a few months later spiraled into an eating disorder which leads back to depression What did end up helping was of course... antidepressants and stuff. From a psychiatrist- And it felt like living in a bubble, surrounded by a warm dark foggy haze, munbed out from the outside world. It feels comforting somehow, and recovering felt overwhelming for that bubble to suddenly be "popped" and I freefall back to the outside world and have to either immediately get up after the fall and run with the bubble chasing me, or... go back into that bubble which I wont, and people around me wont let me either. Sorry, no actual detail shared here. Only the feelings associated with it