This Is the Bridge I Thought I Would Jump Off

*If you are in distress, or are having thoughts of suicide or of self harm in any way, please please please REACH OUT. Go to your nearest emergency room department, call your doctor/psychiatrist if you are in contact with one, your therapist if you have one, or a mental health crisis line in your area. There is help available to keep you safe until you are in a more safe state of mind. Your life matters.*
I wanted to share more about my experience with suicidal ideation and suicidal thoughts. For a period of my life, this is the bridge I thought I would jump off in order to end my life. I am no longer in this state, and felt it important to talk about and share with others who may be struggling with similar thoughts. You are not alone, and there is help.
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#schizophrenia #schizoaffective #schizoaffectivedisorder #mentalhealth #mentalillness

[@LivingWellAfterSchizophrenia]

*If you are in distress, or are having thoughts of suicide or of self harm in any way, please please please REACH OUT. Go to your nearest emergency room department, call your doctor/psychiatrist if you are in contact with one, your therapist if you have one, or a mental health crisis line in your area. There is help available to keep you safe until you are in a more safe state of mind. Your life matters.*

[@keithagee8972]

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nihilism ... en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nehi ... l'm confident there is a "Lord's supper" for most any kind of Lord; that will ever be.

[@keithagee8972]

In natural light, you glow well.

[@BEACHDUDE71]

I have active SI

[@k.a.2241]

This is such a powerful video. I used to feel this way about the George Washington Bridge in NYC. It has taken me so many years to undo my suicidal ideation. I really needed therapy, and friends. Even now I struggle occasionally with the thoughts but no more strong impulses and plans. You are doing great work with these videos and I am glad you posted this video. It is tremendously needed. I say this as a licensed psychologist who struggles with mental health.

[@johnruhland9428]

I have been in the same place as Lauren and I do relate, allso though the way Life is so precious to me now, I live in the 15 story I was going to Jump off, even facing that with the help of an awesome therapist I am not in that place anymore, and it feels awesome, the fight is worth the prize, Thank you Lauren for expressing your interception so well. You probably helped more people than it is possible to imagine, me for one, Thank you Lauren.

[@j.h.miretskay3430]

Lol. Good ‘ole GWB. There’s nothing quite like contemplating one’s existence after doing a long run along the Hudson River Greenway, and wondering whether to sleep with the fishies. I’m one of those people who’s a staunch libertarian, who sees suicide as a fundamental human right, and before that hideous “anti-suicide netting” was placed, there was something comforting knowing that there was the bridge, the river, the NYC skyline, and it all persisting, indifferent to human trials and tribulations - and extinguishing the consciousness of all who sought cessation and reprieve at its threshold. There is nothing more offensive than the institution of “suicide prevention” via State-sanctioned police action and mental health statutes permitting involuntary commitment. There is no greater liberty than carefully contemplating suicide and holding the keys to death - which, counterintuitive ly, also provide the keys to living on one’s own terms. Unless one has full agency over one’s life, one’s body, and one’s destiny - among which is the right to end one’s life by one’s own hand, at one’s sole discretion - one doesn’t actually have freedom. The suicide prevention rhetoric propagated by NAMI, the APA, and various other “suicide prevention” agencies is offensive, disgusting, and absolutely does nothing to help, drawing people instead into a dragnet and a trap that entail nothing other than imprisonment for espousing beliefs offensive to the psychiatric and “conservative values” establishment. Life is not a “gift” nor is it inherently “precious” - it doesn’t take much to impregnate someone or to give birth. We are born without requesting to be born, and we face an existence where the “quality” of our lives is based upon contingencies largely outside of our control. “Coping” and “cognitive reframing” are preposterous ideas. There are no guarantees that things will get better - and that they won’t get worse. The main thing is that the State wants to keep you alive is to extract value from you as a slave for Capitalism. As soon as you’re useless and cannot be exploited, the State doesn’t care whether you’re dead or alive...

[@tracyelsinger1088]

@@j.h.miretskay3430 completely agree with you. Saying that someone should be able to end their own life without intervention from the government or organizations makes one a social pariah, but I firmly believe in it. And I wouldn't even describe myself as a libertarian. I just think that if someone wants to end their life, nobody has any right to tell them they can't.

[@aaymathebest4705]

@@tracyelsinger1088 only God has right to take your and to control on our last breath...

[@rick3747]

So glad that you are still here. I am 56y and I have had passive and active suicidal ideation since I was 14 in 1980 since I was severely neglected, abandoned and raped multiple times since age 2. These thoughts will always be there(regardless of all therapy, P.doc, T.doc, meds...), it's my job to do my best to make my life fulfilling and with purpose. Thank you for your videos and passion to help others!

[@CarolH2]

I am so sorry. Glad you're still here.

[@spiritofcoco]

❤

[@dfms3485]

❤

[@laurieberry162]

Rick. I believe you. I hope you are feeling better. You are strong.

[@l.d.9854]

Sending you the love you deserved as a child, the arms of a loving Mother to embrace you, and the power of protection your parent’s failed to provide. You do and did deserve all of these gifts. Please never forget that you are worthy of them all.❤

[@allosch9]

I've always told people that for me, knowing suicide is an option is oftentimes enough hope to keep me going. No matter how awful I've felt, in those lowest lows, knowing I can always turn back to it if pushing forward doesn't work has given me a sense of peace. Your relationship with this bridge felt very familiar to hear and while I wish you hadn't and didn't feel these things, it was nice to hear them coming from someone else.

[@DopamineSchizo]

i jumped off a building during a horrible psychosis, luckily i survived. but was bruised up on my whole body

[@A_Black_hoodie]

Sorry i'm a year late but i'm glad you lived man :)

[@tulikadey9532]

Same happened with me I broke my elbow joint

[@BEACHDUDE71]

I have active SI

[@showupinyourlace]

thanks for this, my boyfriend who was also a childhood friend of mine committed suicide almost 2 weeks ago. I miss him, it's sad knowing he's going to be 18 forever.

[@dianeaishamonday9125]

Deepest condolences for your loss 🤍🤍🤍

[@Echo-yk1id]

So sorry for your loss. I hope you are well supported in this immensely challenging time.

[@blueyesfaerie]

The positive quotes on the bridge is a beautiful idea. I've never really struggled with SI, but I definitely have a hard time reaching out to others for help, so passive support is always appreciated. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I appreciate your (and your family's) courage and vulnerability. 🤗

[@briansaiditsoitmustbetrue4206]

It is the worst illness in the World.

[@briansaiditsoitmustbetrue4206]

I am always having suicidal thoughts with my Schizoaffective disorder... This illness sucks... Trying to STAY STRONG! I reached out for help ..Yet again ..The psychosis can last for months and then it goes away and then it comes back... Edit..PLEASE DO NOT jump from this bridge... You are too valuable ..You are loved ..You are special... You matter. You are important ..YOU MATTER AND YOU ARE LOVED.

[@sonastysorude]

Hi, friend! I saw your comment after watching this video and wanted to remind you of the same things you commented! You matter, you are important, and you are valued, even to strangers like me!

[@shystudyspy]

I am so happy you’re here. Thank you for being alive. Not only because you help so many people with this channel, but also just for your own sake. You’re a worthy human being who deserves to be alive and experience life in all its colors.

[@flattfan162]

My "bridge" was a university residence building that's actually only a few blocks away from this bridge. The first year of university was absolutely terrible, I was failing in many ways, and I had just been diagnosed with clinical depression - and I wanted to end it like you did, from the tenth floor of the residence building in which I was staying. I told a friend the night before I was planning to do it, and he convinced me to hang on for just a bit longer. And then I kept finding small reasons to stay alive, and I'm happy to say that over ten years later, I haven't felt that way in a long, long time. Lauren, thank you so much for making this video. I deeply relate to what you said, and I'm grateful you're still here and can share your experiences with us. Sending lots of love.

[@LWoodworth95]

Almost 10 years after my suicide attempt, I also feel like I am living proof. I still struggle, in a lot of ways and often, but the extreme urge to die has faded. I may hate myself some days and still feel pain so strongly, but I know I can trust myself and I know I deserve to live. Good for you for sticking around and thank you.

[@Echo-yk1id]

I understand what it feels like when your brain haunts you day in, day out with imagery of your death by suicide, and how much comfort & relief that can bring, I'm so glad to not be in that place anymore & I'm glad you aren't either! These are success' some people may never see, and we have to take time to celebrate them ourselves. 💕

[@ricksoriginals4525]

Glad you are still here Lauren.

[@karenterrell8843]

Thanks for this. My son has a history of two suicide attempts. Heartbreaking.

[@imodd123]

I just wanted to say that I’m glad that you’re still here. We lost our nephew to his mental illness 3yrs and we miss him so much.

[@CJFreeza]

I've been going through each and every video you have posted about schizophrenia over the past few months and watching this just hit my heart like a ton a bricks. I've become used to seeing you, looking forward to the next moment you post with your struggles that a world without you in it seems so hard to live with. I know that your mind might obsess over thinking that dissapearing is your best option, but then we wouldn't know how to live without you. Everything you have shown me has truly changed my life. I hope one day you can feel good about being yourself because you are an amazing person no matter what.

[@Catlily5]

For me suicidal thoughts come and go over my life. I felt suicidal through the Covid shutdown and now I am slowly coming out of it.

[@Suzannemilbourne]

Thank you for sharing Lauren. Your video should be shown to everyone who is at risk of suicide and suicidal thoughts. You have such a lovely way of talking through the issues and sharing your own experiences will help so many people .. I love your work .. please keep on doing what you do. x

[@spookyoctober]

I have struggled with passive suicidal ideation since very early childhood. I’ve been stuck in the throes of severe depression and nonstop panic attacks and deeply wish I could make it all stop. I oftentimes wish I lived near a bridge just like this one to finally feel peace. With that said, Lauren, your words and videos in general are so helpful for me. You have been one of the very few people to accurately articulate what goes through my mind, as well. Truly, thank you so much.

[@valueinyou9931]

Appreciate your words and feel them very much. I have several of Lauren's videos saved; agree with you wholeheartedly that she is one of the few souls who articulate these feelings & thoughts succinctly and with accuracy. You are not nearly alone.

[@mrs.noodles]

Thanks for this, Lauren. I'm glad you're alive and talking about this. I just came out of a 9-months-long period of suicidal ideation. Probably the worst one I've ever experienced and I've been dealing with these episodes for the last 35 years. It's so hard.

[@Outrageous86]

I live in the same city as you! Thank you for being so brave and willing to share your journey and struggles! ❤️

[@a.mie.533]

... a beautifully made and touching video ...

[@Brookerulezz]

I still remember my bridge. 😭

[@stigmacrusher]

Perfect for World Suicide Awareness Day (September 10). You are proof and I am too that those feelings aren't necessarily forever. I am grateful that I did not die by suicide. As you say, Lauren, reach out. You are not alone and one day - one day - you'll be glad you did.

[@nerdybirdy420]

Needed this today, thank you for your vulnerability. It's inspiring.

[@kimberlymiller655]

This is such a serious subject that needs to be discussed. And thank you for not giving in. It’s not just “ what Not” it’s a thought many people have.

[@cyberspelunker1980]

I’m just sitting here balling because I feel this so so acutely. This really hit home. So much love to you and anyone out there who struggles too. ❤ So glad you’re still here. We need you.

[@TRIA99]

❤

[@Jasmineflowerkisses]

Thank you for sharing Lauren, I’m on a new med regiment and I am feeling so terribly down. Your videos always bring me a little bit of light. Thank you 💛

[@briansaiditsoitmustbetrue4206]

Please stay strong... You will get well again. You are important and you matter and you are loved

[@anzelikavasiljeviene5217]

Thanks for sharing your story. It's very hard live with mental illness, we have a lot of bad days and good days is well. Glad you still alive. 😘🥰🙏

[@ajrtraill8085]

You’ve done a lot of good for others since then with this channel, and I hope you’ve built a support base out of it because you deserve it.

[@j.sahulka9024]

This is such a powerful video. I think you have helped someone today, that’s for sure. God bless.❤️

[@zifieaorchid]

I just wanna take a second to thank you. It take a lot from a youtuber to post something they know they won't get paid for, and you did it anyway. You're the strongest person I've ever known, you've overcome every challenge, and you stand before the camera with a smile and kind words. You are my biggest idol. I hope someday to be like you, with my own children- helping bring awareness and understanding to our illness. I pray you'll come to Texas and give a speech or meet and greet some day, so I can meet you in person, give you a hug and just thank you for reminding me I'm not alone. Thank you so much for posting Lauren, until next time 💕

[@michelles9897]

hugs beautiful lady 🙂

[@elijahmurray6094]

I feel your pain. If I want to end my life, then I will by any means necessary 💯

[@mackfam9798]

thanks for sharing. i have been there too in that place. it is hard very hard. sending love you matter

[@alexgebhardt5925]

Thank you so much for this video Lauren and Rob. I completely relate to your story, I too have moved on from the pull towards a bridge but I couldn't remember those feelings any clearer. I felt like that for so long, but I am so happy it seems over at this point.

[@anniscalling]

Thank you for this! It is such a powerful and crucial message that states of mind CAN change, despite the fact that they often feel like they cannot. I find that it's important to remind myself of this every single day.

[@joanneverreau2546]

Thank God for you Lauren, your an amazingly strong and beautiful woman 🙏🏻❤️

[@michaelblankenau6598]

Can you ask God to take away schizophrenia ?

[@pharmachology]

I listened to someone on the internet say "Don"t make a permanent decision on a temporary emotion".

[@raymondmorel8571]

I always feel depressed,and meds never had helped me, thank you for sharing , I have the same illness,,as you.

[@dawnmarkiewicz1916]

I've moved on from ideation and am grateful to be alive and making plans for the future

[@LyslScentedLife]

Edmonton is beautiful. Also there is always a reason to live. Life is too short to make it shorter!

[@michaelmurphy5170]

Is that where Lauren lives? Edmonton AB ?

[@LyslScentedLife]

@michaelmurphy5170 yes! 🙂

[@aquamarie3162]

Thank god you are still alive. You are a light. Always know that. You are doing amazing things to help others as well as yourself. 💕🙏

[@johnettasheckells1539]

I have schizoaffective and think about jumping off balcony like miss America. Thank you for sharing that I am not alone.

[@nathanle4429]

I never struggled with suicidal ideation. Ever since I was young I dealt with my uncle committing suicide and my younger half brother later on in life. Yet it's tough not to feel sad some days. I'm not where I should be in life. I feel like in order to reach a normal life I gotta work three times harder than a person without a mental disorder. That's soul crushing sometimes. I have had to put myself back together so many times in my life, and that gets very tiring. Every time I find myself picking up the pieces I lose the motivation. I'm a bit stuck in life n not sure how to move forward. Yet I refuse to give up and leave another scar on my family and friends. I don't want to add to the cycle of loss.

[@glorycalabrese9705]

Impactful video!!! It will help many for years to come… praise God!!!

[@MrDerpdog]

Thank you.

[@Michellebrite]

Thank you as always for sharing.

[@cristinafrick9773]

Thank you for this video Lauren- we love you and are so very glad you're still here!

[@FreckledGemini]

You are precious. This message is so important to hear and be made “normal”. My little brother took his life in early 2020. He was 43 w 2 children (13&5) It’s been a special sort of hell on earth trying to regain our footing. I’d lost Mom 2015 and Dad 2018. His suicide successfully broke me, like glass, into a million pieces. Some of the pieces will stay where they are. I’m still gathering the necessary bits in attempt to melt them back together. Your videos are so mindfully done and your honesty is remarkable. I’ll never forget the video of you remembering a “manic” spending episode that ended it paranoia at home. You showed us a cheezy Tshirt w script on the front that you bought bc “had to have it” and it was hilarious!! Totally not you! WHAT DID IT SAY??? 🤣 You laughed pretty hard w your husband about that one. I’ve never forgotten that! Bless you. And your partner seems to be AmAzIIng. I hope you guys are well, along w your family. Stay strong. No matter what F-ing Ninny is saying in your head….tell her to F OFF! 😘😘😘😘

[@tonyaberezan2330]

I drove on that bridge every day coming home from work, I’m so happy you’re still here! What a gift you are and are giving to people struggling with mental health, thank you! ❤

[@sarahizmeth616]

I’ve dealt with suicidal ideation as well. There are resources like the nation wide hotline in Canada. I’ve used them. Just a Google search away! Comes up under suicide. It’s a powerful delusion to think that suicide is the answer. It’s a good thing your psychiatrist got wind of the situation. I’m glad you’re okay Lauren. 🎉🎉🎉

[@Satellite_Of_Love]

I'm very glad you are still with us Lauren. Thank you for all of your videos, they've given me a lot of food for thought. One thing that frightens me sometimes is the strange "comfort" suicide options can be when I'm that deep in suicide ideality. A bridge, or in my case a bottle of pills that are in reach that can just end everything. I know it's not a good mindset to have. I love that that bridge has that emergency phone for those in distress. One thing I do sometimes when I'm very suicidal, believe it or not, is to write a suicide note. I know, it seems counterproductive, but sometimes when I have to think about what I am going to say to family and friends, and the reassurances that I write to them, telling them that I love them and it's not their fault and whatnot, it stops me. I think about how what I might do will affect the people I care about. It forces me to consider them and then I stop, and I think, and I get through the feeling, and then try and focus on utilizing my support systems.

[@sonastysorude]

Hi, friend! I saw your comment after watching this video and just want to let you know that you are seen and valued, even by strangers like me!

[@Tommy88399]

Your honesty about your life is touching. It gives me comfort that I'm not alone in my struggles. Very commendable words. You are an inspiration to me Lauren

[@paulwilliams5713]

You are needed here Lauren and l understand how bad it gets, lve battled with borderline personality disorder

[@BergenholtzChannel]

This is a really good message. There is always a tomorrow.

[@aaronphillips2979]

I enjoy your videos I have learned so much,I myself have schizoaffective disorder and battle suicidal thoughts at times so can relate.Glad your talking about about it.

[@sonastysorude]

Hi, Aaron! I saw your comment after watching this video and just want to let you know that you are seen and vlued, even by strangers like me!

[@aaronphillips2979]

@@sonastysorude thank you

[@pennypistilli5441]

Thanks!

[@harrisonlopes7003]

My best friend lives with constant suicide thoughts, he also has schizoaffective disorder, and we talk a lot about the difficulties of living with this diagnosis and the suicide thoughts. He is one of the strongest people I've ever met! Thanks for sharing your story! It's very important and will help us help other people with mental illness.

[@soul7530]

I recently came out of a 3 month section, I was out two weeks before I came off my medication and attempted suicide and now I’m back on a section . I needed this video so much. I found a way of killing myself in hospital this video has helped immensely with that constant thought. Thank you

[@sonastysorude]

Hi, friend! I saw your comment after watching this video and just want to let you know that you are seen and valued, even by strangers like me!

[@spencer6167]

"Not everything happens in the best or for a reason, use your reason to make the best of what happens." - Voltaire 1691-1778, in his work: Candid. I suffer your diagnosis Lauren & I support your struggles as consciousness in higher degrees of awareness of reality is potentially very painful.

[@kreh1100]

I am so happy you still with us ! You are beautiful ❤

[@zetazeta1422]

What an amazing person you are Lauren. Thank you for existing.

[@stevencohen3925]

Just came across your channel from watching the reaction vid you did on the gentleman from 1961. I do not have the struggles that you and many others do, but I just wanted to share that I am glad that you are here and hoping that you continue to get the best help in maintaining your health in every way. Your story is important and necessary. So much to learn. You all deserve a full and meaningful life.

[@Sunsetdreamer0]

I moved to the city you are talking about last year and I to had a bridge I was going to jump off into the same river. Whenever I drive over it I still have this weird feeling about the pain and state of mind I must of felt. Yet I'm grateful to be here

[@dauntlessdev9n499]

I'm glad your still here 🍄 mush luv

[@pyenygren2299]

And here you are, a beam of light. 💚 🤍 🖤 💛 🧡 💜 🤎 💙 🧡

[@dry8647]

I stood on that bridge many times in 2012-2013, when I was 16 and 17. I no longer live in that area, but everytime I'm there to visit family and friends, I feel the need to cross it. I still find an odd comfort in it, and I think I always will.

[@brendaspade1055]

Congratulations on your interview with CTV news Edmonton!!! I have been following you since last year. Thank you for your information and sharing your experiences.

[@jessicawatts659]

Thank you so much for sharing. I really needed to hear that this evening!

[@EmmaMartinaSweden]

Thank you for this video! Your channel is one of the few mental health channels that I can watch with out being triggered. ❤️

[@josephpugh1331]

That music….instant deja Vu. That was a powerful poem

[@richardm9175]

Thankyou for taking the time and articulating so well your experience and putting it out there for others in the hope it will prevent anyone from harm. I've had an extremely similar experience/s as you and it's great to know you're creating valuable content. A friend forwarded me this video as I'm going through a rough time, know that your video has helped and inspired me. Thank you from Sydney and I wish you the best for your future. 🤗👍🔆

[@patricksheehan764]

I commend your resiliency, your bravery, your love of self. Thank you for sharing.

[@sarahstewart4922]

Thank you for making this video

[@devonjacobpodcast]

Thank you for sharing something so personal.

[@CuteFluff8]

Hello. I’m so sorry for your suffering. I suffered too. I wanted to end it all. I stopped and allowed stillness to enveloped me. I was still and allowed my emotions to sit with me. I spoke to myself telling myself no one would miss me and someone spoke back across the room. It was something warm and loving. An angel? A guardian? God? I don’t know who but she had a feminine energy. She told me in my mind, “you would be missed, you would miss you. Stay.” That was when I decided if no one can love me like how I need to be loved then I WILL LOVE ME LIKE NO OTHER!

[@hopelessly.hopeful]

Crying... thank you for this video.

[@tossed_about]

Amazing little video .. I was touched by some scenes where you seemed to be talking to your old lonely, scared self right there on the bridge with you. Wanted to reach out and comfort her too.

[@Jacob115ify]

The analytical part of me naturally yearns to ask for details, but it never feels apropriate...

[@dogcowrph]

I love your videos. They give me both insight and understanding my own feelings. I have been so hopeless and depressed that I have walked over a bridge and really jump. So thank you for posting these videos. That takes courage because you likely know that the world cruel. You touch a lot of people and you have touched me. May God’s continue to bless you. Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way but we need to get urn from the darkness and see the good. Again, not always easily fine. 🙏🏼❤️🙏🏽

[@neerajsharma5910]

That word hits hard that life is endless pain.

[@aarongambill6373]

I needed this video today. Thank you

[@theHelicase]

Thank you for sharing this. I have never heard these feeilngs verbalize before now, and even though I am not in that place anymore, I feel so much less alone. Happy tears that you share these things. Powerful stuff.

[@MrSprite2005]

I am a 56yo woman who has lived with Major Depressive Disorder for almost 4 decades now. I have suicidal ideation almost every few weeks. It is so hard to navigate. Pharmaceutical meds do not work for me anymore. The last 3 years I have relied on ECT and it has been a hard road to travel. I try and focus on compassion for myself, gratefulness for all I do have and love. I feel so alone in my thinking. Thank you for this dear Lauren. I have a bit of hope in Psychedelics. I have been using Ketamine for the past 8 months or so, hoping to space out my maintenance ECT longer. It is all in the management. We shall see. I am most grateful for my husband’s incredible love and friendship these past 23 years. I wouldn’t be here without him. I wish everyone reading this love and peace. You are strong, you are loved, keep going, trust me, I know how exhausted you are. Aloha, love and peace from Hawaii. 🌈❤️☮️

[@sonastysorude]

Hi, friend! I saw your comment after watching this video and just want to let you know that you are seen and valued, even by strangers like me!

[@PONYHEAVEN]

I am gratefull that you did not jump off that bridge. You help me every day with your videos cope.

[@GayleenFroese]

If you don't live in Edmonton, you won't know how hard the City had to fight to get those protective barriers put up. Local cyclists complained for years that they were ugly and took up too much room and made biking across the bridge "too difficult." They were incredibly vocal and kind of mean about it. There was even some vandalism. Seeing a real human person who struggles with the bridge and suicide is so important and, though I'm sorry for anyone who is struggling with that, it's a good thing that this video is here.

[@RobertPottenger]

Thank u for not doing that I don't know what mental illness i have I get delusional and paranoid thank u I just kinda stumbled on your channel thank u and I know about wanting to just not go on anymore

[@scottdreger7137]

Thank you for your story

[@adventuresofanurbannaturalist]

I understand all too well the pull of the High Level Bridge. That was where I wanted to end it as well. I lived in Edmonton for the first 30 years of my life and battled with suicidal ideation for a large majority of that time. I would actually get anxious walking over that bridge by myself because it was before they put the anti-suicide fence on it, and it just seemed like it would be so easy and it would end the pain I was in. I still struggle with these thoughts sometimes, but I am in a better place now that I have been in a very long time. I am a diagnosed schizophrenic and I struggle with managing my negative symptoms on a daily basis, but your channel is helping me I feel. Thank you Lauren for all your work. You are a lifeline to people like us in need of a ray of hope.

[@amaksim]

I just love your videos. I have a similar journey and connected to this video so much. Please keep doing what you're doing and sharing. It makes so much difference in people's lives. I wish there was a channel like this for people who have bipolar too. 💗 I really love what you do.

[@jacquelineleitch7050]

Constant existential reality checks about how much the world doesn’t need more human pests on it. And then I remember the thing that I worked out a long time ago that despite the existential issues and using suicide to release the world from me and vice versa, that the politics are that I am of use to the planet if I am living and modelling to myself and to my community a kind way to live with the planet.

[@johnruhland9428]

And don't forget, pleasure is not out of your reach.

[@DJ-rp3gg]

I seen you guys on the news. Way to go!

[@peaceoflove4176]

Awe one of your videos popped up on my KZbin. I've missed your videos.

[@ebocortex]

I hate to admit it. I wanted to end my life so badly before I got help. I was sizing up rooftops and bridges in my area and the thought in the back of my mind on what if I survived. I won't forget the night I was going to do it. I set out the door going fast towards my car when I heard coyotes howling in the distance and I was snapped out of it. I later slipped up the next day spilling my plans and then the cops showed up to take me away. They surrounded me with no where to run. I was taken to the closest hospital. Anyways this has always been my plan when I feel suicidal.

[@johnruhland9428]

It is a good thing to talk to the right people about it, it cured me.

[@robdario661]

Love an peace of mind to everyone who sees this.

[@1Dishonorable]

I am always dwelling now on my hopelessness. I told my team but they didn't take it seriously. I can no longer trust them to care

[@BenQotsa]

Im glad you didn't, I love your content. I am currently batteling my own psychosis and I really do not want to kill myself.

[@yoramalon5273]

I want to hug you, Lauren. English is not my first language, i cant find the words to describe my feelings, for you.

[@KD-kp3zc]

I know exactly what you mean by taking comfort in the fact that you have a method, or methods, available if you need them. Wish I didn't feel that way but I do.