This is what causes social anxiety

[@colbykamilah]

My upbringing played a role too, but changing schools did it for me. On top of that, I was shy and introverted. Middle school it began, but was mild. HS it got worse and was severe. I was depressed, had no friends, and was rejected by my classmates, but I wasn’t bullied thank God. I still have SA, but it’s slowing going away. I had to learn to accept that people would critique me, wouldn’t like me and that it was ok to be introverted.

[@StephanieRZ]

Wow, I relate to this actually, know you're definitely never alone, I believe having faith in God at times helps even; it's having a belief/faith in a Savior above ourselves.

[@tiffanygordon-co]

You may be highly sensitive, you can do some research on it if you're interested but a lot of the time people who present as shy and introverted tend to have the trait. I discovered that I'm highly sensitive and unfortunately also have Social anxiety.

[@cc-df1do]

i've noticed that coming out of the pandemic, i've begun engaging in more overcompensatory behaviors to combat my social anxiety, like you mentioned! my friends and family thought i was crazy when i brought it up (because i'm usually very introverted) but i'm noticing that forcing myself to be more talkative helps to ease embarrassment/awkward tension because it makes me feel in control of the situation

[@jobunny919]

I know what caused mine. My mom embedded toxic shame in me. She screamed loudly and criticized EVERYTHING. There was NOTHING my sister and I can do right. Imagine screaming at the top of your lungs at a small baby for not "knowing better"... that was my moms thing- things that she should be teaching us as a parent, she assumed we were suppose to know better. She also loved to humiliate us in front of company. She would know that we had friends coming over and she would wait til friends were over to start screaming at us and picking on us. She did it in front of her own friends too. Oh and I went to like 5-6 elementary schools.

[@Yoyou00]

This was also my experience sadly. Now I’m noticing that a lot of my anxiety comes from the fear of “messing up” and being criticised. And I would feel so shamed cause even when I apologised I would rarely be forgiven.

[@eliasshapero7357]

I lost it when she said that having social anxiety was nothing to be ashamed of and that it is okay. I have always felt like something was wrong with me, and many people have commented on my awkwardness and such, but hearing those words for the first time in that way made me feel so empowered. Thank you

[@nobody-vp7gm]

same u got this much love 💕

[@nighteternal91]

I think it's crucial not to label yourself as being socially awkward or socially anxious, because what you think you believe. It's just your inner critique which tries to bring you down, but you are so much more than that.

[@EmergentSea]

There are things I already knew but you also gave me a lot to think about. I've always wondered if my dad didn't have social anxiety as well. I don't have much of a relationship with him, he's an alcoholic and my mom told me he's always been a shy person, and I definitely see that in him. Alcohol can feel magical when you have social anxiety. First time I tried it, it felt like a cure. I felt fixed. I never went through a phase of casually and appropriately drinking. I got drunk one time and immediately felt like that's what I needed in my life. The problem is you start drinking even when there isn't a "reason" to. Even when you're not going anywhere or seeing anyone. You start associating drinking with happiness, and when you have depression it leads to drinking everyday. Anyway I'm on recovery road I guess, even though years of social anxiety + heavy drinking + suicidal ideation led to social isolation, and now I find myself yearning for connection. Past relationships have disappeared, and it's even harder to make new ones. To anyone out there with social anxiety, reach out to your friends. Even if you don't have a lot of them, reach out. Don't let these relationships die out. And stay away from substances. They might feel like a quick fix but it's going to lead to even more isolation.

[@immabihhan66a82]

I'm yo pappie, baby boo. N yes, I drank liquid courage bc it helped me in social situations. But has bad long term effects. Luh u daughter. *Duckface*

[@akaye643]

I get confused about my case sometimes because when I was a kid I was extroverted, then I became introverted in high-school and college. Became a waitress and became really extroverted again. Went back to school and started working at a hospital and became introverted and my social anxiety is just getting worse and worse. I think my extroversion was not sincere as well because I would be friendly and chatty but I usually wouldn’t ever go to the next level and make a real friend, it was sort of always superficial, not because I don’t want to be actual friends but because I have a fear that they don’t really like me or the real me and they’ll reject me later on, so I just avoid becoming friends in the first place. I also used to be very optimistic in my conversations, and now I’ve become very pessimistic in my conversations even if I actually am usually a happy go lucky person by myself. I noticed I started becoming pessimistic because most people would ridicule me before for being so positive. I really really hope I get help someday. I don’t wanna live like this anymore. It really hurts.

[@matildakurus3089]

i used to be extremely extroverted and able to talk to a lot of people but i didn’t know what happened to me till now.

[@aarontimothy1184]

I used to be a free spirited kid probably before 3rd grade, playing video games and expressing emotions as one kid does and feeling joyous and not really bothered around other people. Never talked a lot because I grew up with high-function autism and never found conversation or human interactions to be very interesting but I still made some friends in elementary school and I guess I was normal? I always questioned why I was treated "differently" than other kids then my father broke the news to me at 11 yrs old that I had autism, which made sense. Being a short and small fragile kid growing up in grade school with lack of social skills has led to miscommunications, misunderstandings, being an easy target for bullying, being downgraded, and ghosted/ignored. Luckily I wasn't physically abused a lot because I always avoided confrontation and dodged many situations by keeping my mouth shut. Being an introvert, on the spectrum. and having little to no self-confidence has led to developing social anxiety.

[@myrtila]

This video is eye opening . For me it was changing schools a lot, having overprotective parents, being bullied and being naturally introverted and quiet. At high school I had extreme social anxiety to the point I had panic attacks . Now it’s gotten better but I still have behavioural inhibition and perfectionism when it comes to my interactions. Tbh before I saw this video, I didn’t even consider these things to be correlated to social anxiety. But it makes sense. I’m not terrified anymore to go shopping alone or meet new people but when I do these things, I criticise myself A LOT in my head and I beat myself up later, for not performing “good enough”. Which is crazy. I always think that I was not chatty enough, not polite enough, not empathetic enough. It’s like I’m expecting myself to be absolutely perfect at every single situation. And I expect other to be too. And if they’re not, my core belief that I shouldn’t trust or rely on anyone is confirmed. You wouldn’t believe how much time these thoughts consume.

[@johnsmithjnr9628]

I feel i have to put on a mask alot as i never feel safe with people, never did. Its lead to identity issues and not knowing how to present myself in society, usually i put on the persona of someone i admire. Most of the time i prefer to be alone and just pursue some sort of area of interest. I always struggled with people saying be yourself, if i was myself id come off as weird, aloof with random bouts of saying random things, i get extreme panic when in crowds big or small. so much so i have to go to the toilet and cry to reduce my stress

[@mygirldarby]

My dad had social anxiety and I definitely got it from him. My SA started very early and began with severe school anxiety, that was sadly punished which wasn't helpful. By age 16 I started developing the adult social anxiety that would follow me for life.

[@JenniferAntonioJen]

Thank you for sharing awareness on social anxiety, Anna! It's indeed tough to face fear of being rejected while having need to have safe space to be themselves , to be trusted. By the way, It'd be wonderful if you also consider uploading ways to heal and cope with social anxiety in the workplace and school/university

[@StephanieRZ]

Guuurl, we are here for this. Immense love, 😯🙏🏼❤️

[@Micah_Coatha]

This video just described my life…

[@JennyBesserit]

I bet a lot of people were really helped by the workbook you linked. Thank you so much for making these videos for us

[@ManyaSoboleva]

i’m that odd-one-out who overcompensates for their introversion. i have adhd and autism so my hyperactive half will talk myself into comfort in social situations, a kind of self soothing by listening to my own voice go on. but with my autism i don’t really like to look people in the eye, i have when people get closer than about 3 feet from me, i hate when people touch me without approval, and i spend 99% of my time alone deep-diving into my little hyper-focus inducing passions

[@leonardolombardi2527]

Simple and very comprehensive video, saw a lot of myself into the things you talked about!

[@azaztheunabridged1]

Just wanted to throw in my personal experience with extroversion and social anxiety. I am someone who does tend to be more extroverted, though maybe not to an extreme degree. Because this has been part of my identity most of my life, I had a hard time believing I could also have social anxiety because I thought it seemed contradictory. But I've realized a few things. 1) I tend to feel more "energized" by small groups of people and more "drained" by large groups. I think small groups keep social anxiety to a lower level because I have more control over how well I can adapt to the group and make good impressions (I think what you said about perfectionism is spot on for me, by the way). 2) sometimes excitement can be hard to distinguish from anxiety. I feel very stimulated by interactions in a way that can be interpreted as either good or bad depending on framing. After I'm around people I feel very energized and have to "come down" from the high, but this also involves a lot of ruminating on how conversations went. Very similar pattern to coming down from anxiety. But for me I think the pleasure of when social interactions go well tends to outweigh the pain of when they go badly, so that keeps me going back. I'm curious how common this experience is vs. what seems to be the norm of social anxiety paired with introversion.

[@munchiekins]

I am also very extroverted and I agree smaller groups are easier, I wish I didnt try to manage my impression so hard with everyone I encounter but I do and so the larger the group the harder it is for me to tell if Im doing well (whatever that means) or not.

[@SoVidushi]

Was just doing research on social anxiety disorder because one of my online friend might have it so this video came out on perfect time!

[@kyledevane8782]

I think you just explained my life.

[@Angela-yk4sc]

You should start a Spotify podcast I love listening to your videos to help me sleep

[@sheliakeith9778]

Thank you for sharing your time to aide me to understand what happened to me. I thrive on self awareness for growth. So thank you so much 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@joseluismendoza374]

Totally off topic but I wanted to point out that you're pointing your mic in the wrong direction. I have the same one and the little gold dot on the side indicates the direction you talk into. For best results talk into the side of the mic instead of the top. Cheers and keep up with the great content!!

[@betagamma18]

Well done, Ana. I'm taking baby steps on this journey, and this video gave me two stepping stones. Thank you.

[@munchiekins]

thank you for peeking at your cat she is so cute. also thank you for the video, my partner may struggle with this and i wanna learn more about social anxiety 😊

[@OGAesthetics]

There are alot more factors like food intolerances, hormonal (low testosterone/thyroid) etc that also cause social anxiety. great video!

[@cda6590]

I am a future-aspiring clinical psychology grad student so your channel is very helpful for giving me some kind of insight into the current state of what's being taught to grad students. 1. Do you have an intended area of specialization in mind? 2. To what extent, if any, do you imagine yourself using DBT in your own autonomous clinical setting? 3. Would you ever care to take a jab at making a video on Autism Spectrum Disorder? I saw your video on body language and thought to myself "great, now if Tinder could just add a 'enrolled in clinical psych grad program' filter" because although you're almost certainly neurotypical yourself, you seemed to have a solid grasp on the topic to the extent that it's essentially the stance that I as an autistic adult would prefer my therapist to have. Dunno if these will be answered but regardless, great content. Neat little way to solidify and reinforce what you learn in your coursework while simultaneously informing others. Also, love the "I'm gonna intentionally wear the most bland shirt I possibly can so that strangely judgmental person from the last video won't have a panic attack" approach. Watch her comment on how much makeup you're wearing next.

[@AnaPsychology]

Thanks for the thought-provoking questions, and good luck with your career! 1. I want to mostly focus on relationship issues, anxiety, depression, trauma (especially intimate-partner violence and other forms of abuse), substance abuse, and eating disorders. 2. Quite a lot! It's definitely the orientation I find myself pulling the most from and intend to continue implementing it. 3. You know, I would be open to doing a basic research-based video on ASD such as this one (e.g. "the risk factors of ASD"), but to be honest it's not my clinical specialty so I mostly leave it to the experts in those areas. And don't worry, I usually record in batches! I actually recorded this video way before that person ever commented on my apparel LOL. I don't give much weight to comments that are clearly indicative of people's own inner projections.

[@cda6590]

@@AnaPsychology Thanks for your thoughtful response! 1. I myself am planning to focus on the intersection of trauma and autistic folk, particularly women as the rates for PTSD amongst that population is astronomically high and simply inexcusable. I haven't come across a large demographic with such a high rate of trauma and it's heartbreaking when you think about these socially-inept girls being around opportunistic guys--whereas the worst of my experience is just severe awkwardness. 2. As I read the DSM criteria for BPD, I think to myself "sounds like me having a string of meltdowns" and I have very often heard of stories (almost always from women) who were mislabeled as BPD because they were suffering a string of burnout/meltdown cycles that gave the impression of an unstable identity making impulsive choices when the reality is closer to a girl who was born with a congenital condition which she is left to fend for herself and spent a good chunk growing up baffled by why "people in general don't seem to like me" and "yet I suffered that traumatic event." Those two thoughts can often dangerously lead down a path of the victim believing she "deserved it." That was just a long-winded way of saying that I believe the more generalized approach to DBT could be particularly successful for autistic folk. 3. Although I appreciate you 'leaving it to the experts,' you're clearly a smart person who cares about learning a wide variety of psychology. Perhaps you could sit down with the DSM-V criteria, maybe go through it, and give your opinion as a DBT-centered practitioner as to how you interpret it in light of your DBT training. If you plan to work with sexual-abuse victims in particular, you might encounter a larger population of ASD women than perhaps your predecessors would, as there is a large movement within the autistic community to diagnosis these women and (hopefully) give them some sort of self-advocacy skillset.

[@AnaPsychology]

@@cda6590 That's an awesome intersection! Thank you for being dedicated to it. And yes, maybe at some point I will cover ASD, cause I know it's important to a lot of people and evidence-based information is always appreciated.

[@Lillisssss]

I'm on the spectrum and have social anxiety. Really exhausting combination.

[@jaelayala7248]

Ha I related to almost all of these causes. I'm DIY-ing my exposure therapy by living my worst nightmare everyday at work. But it literally has changed my life, like I can actually call a doctor to book an appointment at 22!

[@michaelahunter5013]

Wow! This video was incredibly eye opening and validating for me. Thank you for sharing and I appreciate your point of view. I definitely have struggled with social anxiety my whole life, it seemed to get better as I got older, but the pandemic kinda sent me 10 steps back! I also am very extroverted, and felt super understood when you were describing the person who over compensates for their anxiety by becoming even more talkative, etc. I love to be around people (forsure value my alone time even more so after the pandemic) and can get depressed pretty easily when I isolate, which being socially anxious causes me to do. The social anxiety has been more of a prominent issue lately and watching your video helped me realize it's something I should really try to work on for my wellbeing! Thanks again :)

[@sillybilly.3]

as a kid i was constantly shamed by family members and ended up being really insecure and devolved social anxiety. in middle school it became debilitating, i'd constantly have panic attacks and was always afraid of someone making fun of me. finally in high school i was able to get some help after having a panic attack in english class. i went on meds and they started helping but then covid happened so i was stuck in the house and that didn't help at all. when we got to go back to school i physically couldn't go, i had panic attack every morning and my mom finally decided to let me stay home and then i dropped out 😜

[@anna4989]

ooohh my do I see valfre merch 🥰 and also very interesting, insightful video!!

[@meowmeowmeowbarf]

The meow at the beginning!!!!! :)

[@seekingharmony3659]

Thank you for making this video💜 Important topic and i like the way you communicate👍 This video just made me realize so many important but painful while also healing things. I related many times to your video. Luckily those problems are mostly behind me thanks to SSRI and self-care(and in my past also therapy)💜 If anyone there is struggling, seek help and support💜 Theres times when things will get better💜

[@HatedAlways]

Woa, so official with the mic 🎤

[@hgzmatt]

I swear this all applies to me. I have no idea what caused it. My younger brother is very different and seems to have grown up perfectly healthy. I did spend a significant amount of my young childhood with my grandmother instead of my mother, I wonder if that f'd me up or if it was something else. My teens were also a mess, I felt outcast constantly as the smart kid. All the basic stuff that other people seem to do has been an insane struggle for me, I find it very hard to trust people and used to avoid social situations completely. Happy to say I'm making good progress though.

[@monat_son]

Hi Ana, great content. Thanks for sharing.

[@nia.gregory]

Caring what other ppl think is on a continuum. No on can completely not care what others think.

[@silvio.r8443]

I have all the genetic and temperamental factor, and was also bullied at a young age, 8 years old when the brain is highly sensitive. This bully strangled me and told me every day that they didn't like me.

[@theyoungone5034]

is it bad that i have everything you mention in this video? lmao damn, child hood really is the most important part of one's life, but i also think the cure for social anxiety is stop caring what other people think and love yourself more, it's easier said than done but we all can do it, good luck to all my introverted creatures, just remember to treat yourself with love and respect (kings and queens) and live, the goal of life is to be happy so try to focus on that

[@cece4749]

I love your videos! They are so informative and straightforward! Can you talk about family enmeshmebent. I’m very interested in learning about this topic. I feel as though I’m in a mother daughter enmeshed relationship.

[@kyledevane8782]

People do leave you, hurt you, and not protect you.

[@graycat7704]

I was doom from the start I basically had all these problems. It’s really hard because right now I’m basically a neet.

[@lucijak3444]

omg this opened the way for so many future waterfalls coming from my eyes

[@seismixx]

I can't even properly talk to my mom now. Especially when it comes to things that are bit more personal. We were very close when I was a kid. She treated me just as any other parents normally does. Life was okay. Idk what happened.

[@johnsmithjnr9628]

Great video Ana

[@TitanTubs]

Haha, 20 year old whose not had a deep conversation with anyone in The last 6 years. Let alone a best friend or relationship. AvPD, SA.. ugh How to I go past surface level conservation with people? It seems no one wants to do anything, too busy in college.

[@tacrewgirl]

Join a club in college. It helps a lot. Outdoor club sports, school paper, try something new.

[@TitanTubs]

@@tacrewgirl Yeah I'm trying,

[@avril4259]

@@TitanTubs We are in the same boat dude

[@xbendiistraw]

When I was in 6th grade, I was sitting in the cafeteria table with my peers and I opened my lunchbox. I was looking away, but my peers all laughed at me because there were ants all over my food. I had left my lunchbox in my gym locker earlier, so I guess that’s what caused it. But they all laughed at me and I was so humiliated that I started eating in the bathroom stalls during lunch, and it has gone on all through high school as well. I was also heavily bullied in middle school and high school due to being short. My mom always told me to ignore them and that they will get their karma….well that never helped me make friends, did it?!

[@astrologylover1184]

I really enjoyed this video but also you are missing a HUGE reason some people have social anxiety. I have autism. Stuff like autism and being neurodivergent is a huge factor for some. And I’m still trying to understand the correlation of my autism and social anxiety.

[@yaknowamsayin]

For me part of the anxiety comes from having to use my intellectual brain, rather than intuition to navigate the social situation. It takes so much brain power to process and respond in social situations, and I still get things wrong even after so much effort. So I get anxious each time because if how exhausting and demoralising it is, I have to always be on and vigilant, otherwise I’ll make a mistake.

[@benjatr6186]

Love you Ana!

[@mogreen19]

05:31 I hereby officially diagnose Ana with feline-adhd 😍 Great content by the way, keep it up.

[@toaster9562]

In cultures where the worth and honor of a family lays on their children, usually more or harsher on daughters, those kids might develop anxiety bc they fear what others may think about their familes rather themselves.

[@NotTodaySatan557]

You are fabulous!

[@Pequin1000]

Main cause of social anxiety = Social media! It really is that simple.

[@themistoclesnelson2163]

Thanks

[@breatheliveandthrive7404]

If anyone has longing for likes or any type of social media validation, then you are definitely still under the grip of social anxiety.

[@johnsmithjnr9628]

Btw social anxiety workbook link is not working

[@Myllkka]

"genetics" can also mean your parents basically raised you to be insecure and repressed... Or raised you to be confident and spontaneous.

[@mary1037]

Your cat is so cute🥰

[@iceman-1987]

🌼

[@thesilentknight4554]

I'm the KING of social anxiety 👑😶

[@angelface333]

not me having all the warning signs 😭

[@mahdipasban3872]

So what's the cure?

[@AnaPsychology]

I can make a few videos on techniques for social anxiety if that would be helpful?

[@Maria-wd8fy]

@@AnaPsychology yes pls!

[@inprogress5210]

@@AnaPsychology Yes please

[@dianapachecolara.8322]

Exposure therapy

[@mahdipasban3872]

@@dianapachecolara.8322 They are not so very helpful and it costs a lot every session

[@m2pozad]

Extensively informative. In the top 5. Should have been your area of concentration rather than, what was it, 'The Patriarchy's Inhibition of the Witch Sciences'? lol!

[@omblondies]

This is a weird comment

[@AnaPsychology]

This comment comes off as backhanded, was that your intention?

[@SQUELCH-zj7il]

It's's her channel. She can talk about whatever she likes. If you don't like the topic, then don't watch it. Simple

[@m2pozad]

@@SQUELCH-zj7il So what if it is her channel? Opinions about it matter, according to the KZbin platform design, or comments would not be part of the fun.

[@kyledevane8782]

I have skizo personality type.

[@kyledevane8782]

Alcohol is not the answer.

[@immabihhan66a82]

SO WEN IZ ME N U GONNA MAKE BAYBEEZ, BIHHHHHH?????