This is Why You Feel CRAZY Around a Narcissist

In today's video Jill explains exactly what the Narcissists do that make you feel CRAZY when you are around one.
Jill Wise, otherwise known as The Enlightened Target, is a life long survivor of narcissistic abuse. She was raised by a malignant narcissist and married to a malignant narcissist, she has endured years of parental alienation, has repeatedly been targeted by narcissists throughout her life. She has an intimate understanding of all aspects of narcissistic abuse and Cptsd. She uses her experience and what she has learned to help educate others and bring awareness to narcissistic abuse. She is also a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach and works with clients all over the world heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse, parental alienation and Complex Ptsd.
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[@Suzu52]

There is no "conversation" with a narcissist....

[@joylugo4979]

So true....and sad especially if you're married to one.

[@karishort1891]

@@joylugo4979 it is so lonely! All of the surface level bs conversation is making me insane! It is like trying to have an adult convo with a 2 year old!

[@AZDC99]

They're talking AT you, not to you

[@karishort1891]

@@AZDC99 exactly!

[@stellarcore.official]

@@AZDC99 YES

[@kmax2584]

You've described their approach to "problem solving" exactly! They don't want to solve problems. They want to shift blame, win, lie, gaslight, project, confuse and so on.

[@theresefournier3269]

Always in fight, flight or freeze mode! Yes... where not much can get done! 🤔🔥

[@warriormom5843]

💯💯💯💯

[@misstmemrs]

She thinks they k ow but many people do not know. They are deluded and don’t understand the meaning of words. Word salad is nonsense. It is cognitive distortions and logical fallacies. Funny she doesn’t mention these specifics. She says empaths are highly sensitive by how is that different from hypersensitive narcissists? Narcissists often think they are empaths. And they are often the chief control freak who plays a narcissism expert. You can identify them beciase they speak in the vague generalities of the political shit weasel. These over generalizations are how narcissists throw people under the bus.

[@bernitacenteno1326]

@@theresefournier3269 The narcs complete control over their target is to cause them to a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. All four are our responses.

[@carolynbennett2735]

Been there, done that!

[@mountainmermaid8]

Most "conversations" involve gaslighting, bullying, or lecturing. (grandiose)

[@suzazq]

Ohhh yes!

[@lightfeather6238]

They love playing head games

[@brianwalsh1401]

It's their meat and potatoes. It's their bread and butter. It's their oxygen. It's how the live.

[@matilda1505]

I’m reading the comments and I am absolutely baffled by how many intelligent, witty, successful people fell prey to those creatures.

[@stevepeterson5943]

They target and prey on the strong ones, not the weak ones. The weak ones are easy to control. They cannot stand the strong ones.

[@jennywager6228]

The world is their oyster.

[@katewithat]

You'll feel crazy around someone when they drive you there.

[@brianwalsh1401]

Then they tell people how crazy you are. The devils spawn.

[@izawaniek2568]

The goal is to get the narcisists to leave us alone. No conversation with them, no contact, nothing.

[@Jac735]

Facts I dealed with one at work she flipped on me 3 times and I had to be pulled to watch these vids because I known her for 2 years and half of the time I know her she acts like im.her man and she is twice my age haha😅😂

[@salonsavy6476]

I was with a narcissist for 8 years ,, the love bombing drew me in ,, then the passive aggressive comments started ,, then the gaslighting,,, followed by silent treatments,,, I lost myself!,,, ended up in the heart institute for treatment,,, last year I walked away from all the abuse ,,, never looked back!,,, life now is peaceful and calm ,,,

[@lavenderflowers1075]

I hope you've recovered from the effects of the abuse.

[@amandaheard8109]

This just gave me hope!!! I’ve been diagnosed with depression, general anxiety disorder and PTSD, just from an 8 year rollercoaster flying through a tornado relationship. It’s been rough and I’m looking forward to peace and finding myself again. My health has even deteriorated.

[@tszczerba1]

I’m proud of you! Blessings!

[@grantsolomon7660]

It seems like a fine line between the narcissistic and the psychopath in the way they isolate the victim.

[@jennielai2459]

The only difference is that narcissists feel ashamed and they care about how people look at them. Psychopaths don’t feel and don’t care. I think narcissists are just as dangerous as psychopaths!

[@Darren-su2gm]

The narcissist is not ashamed most of the time they enjoy hurting and abusing you I'm describing a malignant narcissist which is the dark triad.I tried to date a female one that hurt me real bad .

[@karishort1891]

It boggles my mind how so many comments are from people in their 50's, 60's and 70's that are all dealing with this garbage. So much for finding true love later in life. We need a legal purge day...

[@tszczerba1]

Yep 54 years!!! He kept it pretty well hidden for the first twenty.

[@matilda1505]

Don’t defend, don’t explain…you own them nothing ! Preferably don’t engage !

[@TM-1000]

Yup, the more you explain and defend yourself, the worse you end up feeling.

[@tinepotocnik777]

​@@TM-1000This is so true

[@valarielewis64]

Do NOT play J.A.D.E./ justify,argue,defend,explain🎉

[@reesedaniel5835]

"Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God." -Matthew 5:9

[@tinamcgee8032]

Exactly 🎯 Amen

[@humblewonder3260]

Very few of them exist

[@aimeeb2820]

@@humblewonder3260 why? Because they won't be left in peace 🤔🙄🙃🤪

[@humblewonder3260]

@@aimeeb2820 no... because they're a rarity

[@aimeeb2820]

@@humblewonder3260 yea n that too 😆🙄😔

[@AKB35955]

I never felt crazy. I was just highly annoyed by their tactics and irritated that I couldn't really defend myself without it blowing up into a tantrum.

[@aguynamedkevin8469]

Totally relate to this

[@Darren-su2gm]

Yes big fighting babies

[@CoachK10190]

Yea you have nothing to gain and everything to lose. But to spectators it looks like you’re pressed but you’re dealing with somebody who won’t take no for an answer

[@yellowdayz1800]

Let me guess... You are loved by your parents? An honest guess. And curious. No pun intended at all. Promise. Hugs.

[@sheliamccullough9505]

This the 1 right here!!!…. I’m not crazy I been calling this man out for 10 years he never had control over me honestly but I still let him play with me constantly. And I see through the glass words can’t even explain how done I am. I have no word to mix with this world salad.

[@danielskyles6184]

No accountability is right on.

[@pauljones5066]

you are spot on, as usual, a pure narcissist does make you feel crazy

[@jolly7728]

Yes, and they're also telling you that they really hate you, but with a wry smile on their face.

[@jolly7728]

@Dr. SAMMY BAYA Certainly. They also use a "warm" smile to throw us off guard, concealing their underlying intents of hatred.

[@zengreen7]

When someone FREQUENTLY makes you feel like you are in THE TWILIGHT ZONE, they are probably a narcissist. RUN!!

[@bernitacenteno1326]

@@jolly7728 This is what I do notfully understand yet. Why do narcissists hate, period ?

[@jolly7728]

@@bernitacenteno1326When you think about it, you have to wonder if they truly feel hate. When a lion spots a deer, hunts it down, and devours it, is that a hateful act? In the same way, predatory narcissists don't hate us. That's just the way they are. Don't take it personal. What's clear is that when confronted with a dangerous enemy, we have three basic options: run, hide, or fight.

[@audreylonsinger2678]

My mother completely in and out. Circular conversations and gaslighting to manipulate. Her favorite things to say: "You're nothing but crazy" and confronted confidently about something she did wrong, "There's no reason I need to talk to you. Go away" Very cruel games she played from childhood until I was 40 - and her passing away. I felt as though I had been paroled and I could look at and live life on a different level. It only made things clear that she created the narrative all along. A bad one. She alienated friends and family from me. Told them the most horribly untrue things to keep the games going.

[@karishort1891]

I understand what you went through. I didn't even go to my moms funeral because I knew the rest of the family would roast me like a pig for leaving. I had literally moved 5 states away from her AND then once she passed I felt paroled as well....The only tears I cried were from relief of not having to see her and hear her judgements anymore. Well, guess what? Her voice started popping up in my head condemning me and it was horrible. I would hear her telling me how screwed up I was in my dreams! I had to go to therapy and the only thing that helped me was EMDR therapy. She died over a year and a half ago and now I can finally feel the relief. I pray to God I have never treated anyone so badly they ended up in therapy.

[@gregwashburn2901]

OMG my ex narc was like a third grader put up with it for 17 years ..after 3 yr no contact I'm alive a human .....love my life now

[@lil--mo2025]

This video is one of the most precise examples of how these types operate. The part where you mention the narcissist getting major supply form them thinking about how they have you thinking about them.

[@matilda1505]

I fell into that trap ! Guilty ! I just couldn’t comprehend that anyone would “ thrive “ on not seeking compromise !

[@jolly7728]

It's uncommon for a narcissist to come out and say they despise you. Instead, they utilize word salads to communicate the same message in a more hidden way. An example: a narc had been advised of the exact amount of her part of a bill in writing several weeks before being reminded of it recently, also in writing. She later contested the amount when told in person, asking whether it was X amount or Y. That was her bizarre word salad, just a few words, which she had tailored to the occasion. She had to alter the topic in order to make you doubt yourself and prolong your interaction with her, all the while she was probably thinking about how much she hated you for collecting her portion of a payment she was legally obligated to pay.

[@lil--mo2025]

@@jolly7728 exactly! This type of redundant, nonsensical behavior causes the victim to be in constant defense mode and when the Narc has you figured out they watch to see just what form of reactive abuse you will use in order to tailor their next move in the game. It’s wacked! Even when things are going well, they are just insidiously maneuvering to deconstruct whatever may be good starting with your emotional regulation. The closest thing I can compare the Narc to is a parasite or a botfly.

[@jolly7728]

@@lil--mo2025 Yep! Parasite is the word, for sure!

[@jolly7728]

@@matilda1505 Really! It's very hard to imagine someone thriving on chaos, division, and oppositional behavior. The amazing thing, though, is that it works for them, big time! That's why they keep doing it. It'll take a long time for normal people to figure out the games narcs play and be set free of individuals afflicted by one of the worst personality disorders in the world.

[@PSBore]

This was good. I’m currently breaking free from my dad’s controlling and condescending ways. I realized something was wrong with him after he tried to gaslight me about something and I was like “are you honestly trying to tell me this after what I’ve experienced by your hand?” I knew he was living in an alternate reality or something and that got me into learning about narcissism. Now I know why things were the way they were and why my sister, brother, mom, and I are so screwed up.

[@K9amilo90]

I get you, from what you are describing this seems to also depict situation in my family. Stay strong and be cautious to who you are attracted to and are attracting. For me it is the narcissistic women. They evoke increased levels of attraction and don't seem to be bland in comparison to healthy individuals. I try to combat this mechanism and also ditch learned manipulative ways

[@PSBore]

@@K9amilo90 I feel ya. I have the same issue, I am drawn to toxic women and make excuses for ignoring red flags. I always caught myself doing things or saying things that clashed with what I believed my values to be. So I know that I have been exposed to this behaviour and have to be diligent to keep from doing it myself ever again. I see my family acting out the same things, but none of them seem to have the insight to discuss or change. Or maybe they have their own conclusions which include not talking about it ever. Hopefully you and I continue to grow, and I wish you all the best.

[@K9amilo90]

@@PSBore thanks, man. Stay strong 💪

[@stevengalindo7932]

Good news! You can get “unscrewed” by disassociating from narcs, and associating with normal, sane, rational people. And learning about NPD.

[@bernitacenteno1326]

@@stevengalindo7932 YES, YES, YES, YES, YOU CAN. I DID IT, FINALLY, AND WISELY.

[@fairymairah]

I not only agree. they use words for confusion and twist up the truth.

[@terrapintravels3829]

I am an HSP..I Knew nothing about narcissism, I had just gotten married and it was starting to fall apart after only 3 months, I started journaling his behaviors. Word Salad is a knew term for me but since i left my marriage a year ago I am learning so much about what happened. Word salad convos are exasperating! I literally became very clumsy, dropped and broke and spilled stuff all the time too.

[@joylugo4979]

Yes. In a similar boat....becoming clumsy and inept.

[@lindagithaiga1974]

I am also an HSP.I didn't know about word salad until today

[@terrapintravels3829]

@Chad Buie thank you🦋

[@lisbethbird8268]

Have you ever seen the old BBC sitcom "Keeping Up Appearances"? If not, I recommend it. It's hilarious. The central character, Mrs. Bucket ("That's Bouquet, not Bucket") would have her neighbor for tea, and she's so bossy and overbearing neighbors' hands start shaking and spilling the tea or breaking the cup... I just saw an episode recently and recognized the exact nervousness and clumsiness.

[@terrapintravels3829]

I'll have to watch it. Funny now but not at the time.

[@crencottrell7849]

1.) Ms. Jill looks great today 2.) I realize I really am an empath 😅 3.) Praise God for NO contact since nothing good is going to happen if you reach out to that narc who hurt you, lied to you, smear campaigned you, tried to get you arrested, fill in the blank evil action towards you 🙏🏿🙌🏾

[@khaartoumsings]

"If you wrestle with a pig, you're going to get dirty!" That is wonderful. This is a smashing summary. It is so odd that we have gone all these millennia dealing with Narcissistic Abuse right from the time of Caligula, but we just didn't have this piece of the jigsaw to know what it was! Thanks, such helpful videos ; ) K

[@valerieriggins3184]

Hmmmm! Shows How They Make True Words Hard To Grasp On Purpose.

[@mattdonna9677]

Um, the difference is the pig doesn't mind getting dirty.

[@shawnmarie1912]

Don't wrestle with a pig, you might get dirty. Besides, the pig likes it. Ross Rosenburg

[@khaartoumsings]

@@shawnmarie1912 Wonderful and so true ; ) K

[@Yeshuaislove99]

More like from the beginning of time. First narcissist was Cain who killed his brother.

[@PassionateFlower]

I decided not to have children because I know I would inevitably just end up traumatizing my kids with my unresolved childhood trauma and I don't think that's acceptable under any circumstances so no kids for me. I won't do to a child what my parents did to me.

[@karenhart2923]

I was always confused when I spoke or interacted with them , I have made a new resolution , if I dont feel good around a person , leave it and dont look back !

[@t.l.7733]

My Malignant mother is soon to be 81. To this day, I have no idea about her upbringing/background. I had the unfortunate situation where I had dinner w/ her while out of town. Yet, another conversation w/ a different background mixed w/ a lot of word salad & mind reading. She was all over the place. When she was describing people that she grew up with, it was either by first name or no name at all. Whenever I'd ask a question like "so, who was the person who had this business?" She would reply " now you know damn well who I'm talking about. What are you..an idiot" And she always refers to any relatives as "my cousin." baiting you to ask the question.."so, are they my cousin's as well?" Ready to pounce on you.

[@lisbethbird8268]

Well, she's kinda old. Maybe she's confused too. Not trying to judge o r invalidate what you said. My elders survived and still remembered the great depression, and world war 2. You gotta cut somthing of a break at this point. They didn't understand how their actions might affect you. Probably didn't care, but that's the past. You're still here.

[@t.l.7733]

@@lisbethbird8268 She knows exactly what she says. She's been word salading, lying, shaming, abusive (physically, mentally), raging, & coercive controlling in her 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's,& 70's I guess back then, she had a lot on her plate...today, she hasn't lost a beat, but, she's older.

[@kaycaringi8851]

I had a nm, too. Our whole life was a lie.

[@lisbethbird8268]

@@t.l.7733 I am sorry. When I first read your description, it sounded like a person with dementia - they get grumpy and mean sometimes. It must be awful for you to have to face this constantly, for your whole life. Take good care of yourself.

[@bunnyboo6295]

Well you say 81 could be bad memory and has no clue what she talking about

[@tonycompton4313]

My wife tells people and me that I am a narcissist.. I was diagnosed with borderline personality I have severe abandonment issues I'm the farthest thing from a narcissist I'm starting to believe that she actually is one

[@tonycompton4313]

@Brissa Macrae For an update she filed divorce papers and left them on my car at my son's 3rd birthday party very tactful then blamed me for being too emotional about it and "crying like a bitch

[@idontknowyouthatsmypurse]

⁠@@tonycompton4313dang. Although you might not see it yet, the BEST outcome that could possibly happen from a relationship with a narc is for THEM to leave the relationship.

[@lightfeather6238]

Great video! My ex narcissist used word salad. I would say to him your definition of communication is arguing and twisted

[@alisonlong286]

My memory is always thrown in my face. I know I remember things right. But I’m told I’m wrong💔

[@gabrielapatino1585]

I always feel confused about things that bother me. I tell him, but after I talk. Everything seems like I made up a story, but I am sure I said what I needed to say

[@theresefournier3269]

Pecato! but i know what you mean... 😘

[@AliValentine143]

My therapist said it's ok to record conversations. You can let him know that you need to so you're able to go back and relisten to your words for journaling your communication style, which is also true, but it's also a record for yourself. Eventually the Narc is used to it and reverts to their normal twisted communication skills and you'll notice their patterns.

[@KEESWAY]

Yes. This just happened to me. They hate it that I’m not easy to manipulate. I just have to learn how to control myself when interacting with them because all of the changing of history, manipulating, blame-shifting, and lies really gets under my skin. 😡

[@paulmurphy2144]

i have a stammer and it gives you a true insight into those who care and those you know dont

[@djangoapple8230]

The " supply " you're referring to is our soul.

[@kadootje77]

Good reminders as always, my problem is that before I knew about narcs I was the most pure narc supply for many narcs, my parents, my family and the religion. My parents used everyone they could get their hands on inside my family/religion/friends/acquaintances as flying monkeys to get supply (for information or to smear campaign) However I have cut all ties with everybody, so their supply has dried out.... Thus...I get a letter, message or card nearly on a weekly basis fishing for information to confirm whatever they want to confirm.... I reply with nothing most times I don't even read it and chuck it in the bin.... But it still baffles me the length they go through to get something.... It is a scary thought to know they even get off fantasizing about the confusions they create.... pathetic!! Thanks Jill, you are a star!!

[@matilda1505]

“ Chuck it in a bin “ ! That’s where it belongs !

[@brettneuberger6466]

Warning: Proceed at your own risk! For an eye opening experience (and truthfully….a little bit of fun) try turning the tables one time and toss them a serving of your own word salad. You’ll immediately realize how truly bizarre their world must be and how foreign such behavior is to you. Babbling nonsense and misdirecting in order to confuse another is without question, ruthless, so just do it once. But be prepared! The deer in headlights look you get might be worth the chaos that follows; only you can decide. For me, it was. I admitted to my ploy, and was then accused of being sooo immature. I laughed at the irony; and having pulled off my evil scheme, walked away chuckling. Best of luck to all! It takes time, but use the pain to find yourself. In the process, you might even find compassion for the one who hurt you.

[@andrewbeckman7687]

In order to escape accountability for her crimes, the perpetrator does everything in her power to promote forgetting. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of her victim. If she cannot silence him absolutely, she tries to make sure no one listens.”

[@tinaencinas8830]

Omg this is so true, one of his favorite lines to use on his end is we are going to have a talk when I get home from work today. We never have that talk he always throws other stuff into the mix, make no sense, never admit the talk is supposed to happen. Just goes on about his business like nothing. Well when he uses this sentence now I just nod, smile, move along all the while thinking yeah right we not having any talk you to much of a chicken to discuss anything. He is good at gaslighting, making me think he never said we were going to have a talk. Well I've caught onto his games he plays and I ignore what comes out of his mouth cus it's a lie, when he says he is going to do something I ignore it, if he talks about me, I ignore him. I pretty much don't give him the satisfaction of getting caught up in his words. I ignore, ignore, ignore he knows this so I'm pretty sure his new narcissist supply does for him though. Which takes him off my back. I can't complain jajaja.

[@kerryannmoor5908]

I always had to make an appointment at an agreed time, to discuss any issue. You're right, in all those years not one issue was ever resolved.

[@jolly7728]

Narcissists use word salads to draw more attention to themselves. Giving a straightforward, basic answer to our queries would deprive the narcissist of their need for attention as we seek to decipher their twisted language, thus spending way more time dealing with them than necessary or desirable. They primary want us to focus on them as much as possible.

[@Tonyconstanza]

I still don’t understand this because we do dedicate time to them we are the decent human beings. Why do they have to play all these childish games to get us to give them attention when there’s a time during the day when we do pay attention to them

[@jolly968]

@@Tonyconstanza The problem for us is that we are men, and we’re decent. They’re envious of our masculinity and they see our decency as weakness. Simply put, they hate us in my opinion. We are everything they are not. I’m talking about narcissistic women. There are many beautiful women out there inside and out. We must keep looking for one of them - being careful not to repeat the mistakes of the past.

[@jr6955]

i get ignored when i say it one time and walk away

[@markcooper9033]

"...to escape accountability..." Where does the narcs fear of accountability come from? Why is the escape so necessary?

[@lynnfincham6839]

Mark they fear accountability when theve been caught out. So they mix up the truth so to try and confuse and make you doubt the truth. These days I listen only, pass no comment that way they can’t draw you in that way it leaves them thinking 🤔

[@joylugo4979]

@@lynnfincham6839 I do the same...but its leaving my marriage pretty empty

[@Thang4321]

Jill, I would like to send a big thank to you . During my worst condition last year, dieing everyday and unsure if I could ever recover, I did listen to your material (as a result of a narcissistic relationship, I built up a weird trait of could not watch video 😂). The knowledge that you provided did play a big part in my recovery process. Thanks so much for all the hard work and you got a very nice peaceful voice

[@charlesforte6473]

"When you wrestle with a pig..." lmao ! Excellent advice ; Only Say it Once...Don'tTake the Bait !!! Very Helpful, Thank you !

[@Barbara_Banks_1]

Thank you. Its no cocindence that I ran across this video. After a circular conversation today I was angry, frazzled and now worn out. And yes, I over explained myself. I really need to stop allowing myself to be put on the defensive. I need to hear this. I'm beating myself up now, because I should know better. by now Thanks again, . God Bless.

[@joannparker1977]

I tape my husband. And listen back on our “conversation”. It’s gotten to that point. It’s important for me to listen to the words he said - and how I reacted. We’ve been married 39 years. His behavior really kicked in overdrive 6 months ago. To him, I’m to blame for everything. He blames me for stuff he fucked up that had absolutely nothing to do with me. I’m going to look up marriage counselors, but… 🤔

[@jennywager6228]

I did this before I knew narcissistic behaviours, it was just the same with the third person trying to talk with the abuser. No change but ramped up the abuse to keep his secrets.

[@suewhite7199]

"Word salad" is kind of the wrong term; it implies a kind of randomness and disconnectedness to what a narcissist says. But the phrase is so catchy I guess we're stuck with it. 😀 What I heard from my ex was anything but random. It often didn't make a damn bit of sense, but it followed his own twisted logic. It was not so much word salad as a wall of words, carefully constructed to keep out meaning and understanding. On more than one occasion I found myself saying "I can't get through to you", and I didn't know why. Sometimes I felt like saying "Hey, words mean something!" I didn't know what I was dealing with. Now, sadly, it all makes sense.

[@calvinroyals6463]

My ex qualified as a narcissist. I stayed in the marriage for our daughter. When she left took our mutual friends with her. Her treatment of our daughter was absolutely toxic. It even took time to appreciate with her gone I could actually have a life and develop good relationships.

[@angelanicoletti3330]

Thank you again Jill. For The Narc it is never about love or hate. It is all about winning and losing just as you said. NO CONTACT is the only way for me. 1 year Narc free and going strong.

[@sugarsnap1000]

I thought we had different communication styles and I over explained myself constantly 🙄, without realizing what was going on

[@ibbest123]

Your words really empower , streghten and give hope to all of us who have had dealings with these evil people. Always very eloquent and sincere in your presentation❤️🏵️

[@deboracopeland6356]

My ex boss used the old you are hysterical after she talked me round and round in circles and I didn’t want to talk to her anymore.

[@Seven.And.The.RaggedTiger]

This is definitely how my wife of 28yrs was to me.. and yes,I'm a sensitive/empath I've commented in other videos of yours in more depth about my situation.. I didn't realize this was what was going on cause I loved my wife.. its obvious now she's been gone since August what I was living in.. so horrible how she manipulated me all these years,made me feel like it's all my fault,like I didn't care enough.. my God I didn't know,I just lived life with my family,working hard to support and take care of them.. the last 3-4months she left I've been soo confused,as to why,why is this happening,how could she just leave and drive away from me and our last 2 teens.. I've been questioning myself everyday since.. horrible feeling,very depressing

[@strawbricketteshortcake5460]

Every time I brought up an issue with him he would take everything said to him by myself or another woman in an argument and say it to me… “You’re a narcissist” “You never hold yourself accountable” “All you do is complain “ WTH😮

[@LeafsIn2025]

Prof. Sam Vaknin (narcissist, psychology professor, economist, author, speaker, etc.) gave an excellent explanation of "word salad" and, as I recall, it actually related it to schizophrenia not narcissism which was something else entirely but a borrowed term misused for narcissism. If you were to go to his psychological sources he makes perfect sense. However, to us, tossed up is what it is! 🤷‍♀️🥗🤪

[@freedom3504]

Bingo!!❤️ I can't imagine treating people this way. Douchebags.

[@donnavickery9623]

Fantastic description of word salad. Thank you!

[@isras6702]

I recently questioned whether or not I have been a narcissistic Mother to my children (I was accused by my oldest daughter - so I started thinking maybe there's something there). I do (and have) apologize(d) to my children. I have sacrificed for them. I still support them past 21 years. I genuinely feel remorse for not being perfect as a young parent. I hear other people talk about NPD parents & I feel fear of being that!!! I have some childhood & relationship "stuff" that I work on. I hope & pray that Allah will change me. I want my children to love me AND to feel loved by me...

[@mariamkinen8036]

I like the fact that you explain how they are in real life. Thanks.

[@angiecorbin5405]

Man 😞 I fell trap to this so many times in my past. The worst is when you have to explain to them what they did, how they said it, how it made you feel and they act like you’re talking about a movie they have never seen! Or instead of hearing what the problem was they isolate one thing you said that may have been off or not word for word then they turn the whole argument about details rather than what they did and the big picture. Hate this so much!! Especially knowing not to get into it but falling into the trap over and over !

[@michaelsanchez8457]

In the Way of the Superior Man, Deida says that when you lie to a woman, it makes her crazy. Narcs tend to lie a lot, and they intentionally create chaos and confusion. Alison Armstrong says that women sometimes punish a man for telling the truth. I have been trying to figure out why women seem to love Narcs, and I think the Narc intentionally creates a glamorous illusion. The truth isn't as pretty or appealing as a well crafted lie. How to see through the illusion?

[@michaeljensen4650]

Most people are little better than children. They want Phantasy. They like comfortable lies and anything that distracts them or makes them feel good. Have you ever seen how most women communicate with one another. They coo and squeal and sigh and warble. They tell each other that everything is just great! The say HI! How are you! In the sweetest baby voice. Everything is always fake happy and phony positive. Someone could be bleeding to death just outside on the street and they'll say "my what a beautiful day we're having, the weather is just wonderful". Why are people so afraid to be honest and authentic. They shame you for not being positive even when it's inappropriate. This is not just a problem with Narcissistic people, it's everyone. Honesty has become so rare. The cost of living could be shooting through the roof and half the town got laid off but if you ever say that life is anything but WONDERFUL the treat you like the town pariah. "your negative attitude is bringing us all down and keeping you from your dreams". Wow! Magical thinking and collective denial make for some disconnected and crazy crazy people.

[@michellefarris3961]

Found the misogynists.

[@AZDC99]

@@michellefarris3961 FOUND the misandrist!

[@thomaspeterson5693]

I love this video. You are so spot on. I can't believe the hell I put up with for 11 years married to my narcissistic. You talk about word salad. I brought my narcissistic here to America from the Philippines so when she didn't want to understand it was "my English is not so good ' She did fine in divorce court. I had 60 days to write her a big check. I never felt better. Living alone isn't near as bad as wishing you were.

[@mkoz3093]

I just love you!! You explain everything so well.

[@DoubleRainbows-fp6ih]

When I Finally got the guts to stand up to covert psycopathic narcissistic mum: I told her I didn't want to answer her questions(or Prying!) & she gaslit me saying "If I don't ask you; WE will have NOTHING to talk about!" ( I later found out she did & said the same to elder scapegoat sister.) I was brought up the invisible child but not invisible enough for her to run right thru my boundaries just whenever she chose to DEMAND Subservience. I'm now finally No Contact at 61!!!

[@navinjohnson2109]

Well, my ex use to say, I was driving HER crazy. At the time, I took it as a compliment. Especially since I did actually think she was crazy. Now I don't know what to think.

[@margarethollis5620]

OMG! You just described every line in a letter my ex delivered to me last week! ( and he breached his Intervention to do this) so he will be going back to court!

[@andersb5007]

This is super smart and incredibly relevant advice. Thank you so much.

[@gloriadonahue7241]

Very excellent video! Thank you for this one! I am going to play this one over and over again.

[@spraggo0007]

Very good 👍 right on the money that's exactly what I put up with every single time I tried to talk and bring closure it would turn insane because it was impossible for her to take accountability for her action .....the door has now been shut for ever ...all communication ended I'm free ...ye ha ye ha .

[@joshuap7501]

Im about 5 or 6 videos in and its dawned on me your describing my wife time for a leave of absense

[@Myohomoto]

Anyone watch Lord Lucan story, I think it's by ITV I saw it on Amazon Prime last night, it's Lady Veronica Lucans interview/documentary, its chilling! To the bone! What she went through! And no one believed her.

[@jennywager6228]

I'll take a look.

[@iddefusco]

Word-salad makes you think everything is your fault! Narcissists need to believe they are good people; They’re not just convincing you or others, they constantly NEED to convince themselves that they are good people -despite the harm of their words and actions and at your expense every time. The more you allow yourself to be exposed to this person’s web, the more twisted up you get in it. Do not try to talk to them! Your love, admiration, empathy for someone is only really self abandonment when it’s at your own expense. IT’S NOT ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT SOMEONE… pay attention to HOW THEY MAKE YOU FEEL.

[@johnmoirano5221]

its amazing just how true this is a salad with no dressing yuk

[@Hugging_Cactus]

2 Thumbs Up!! Great Concise Video. I like to think of the narcs in my past life as satellites orbiting the earth and slowing decaying. eventually they burn in the atmosphere. wish i could watch them burn, but its better to know nothing of them good or bad. happy monday!!!

[@fionataylor4269]

Spot on ! Keep your peace people 💛

[@aquagirl9228]

I was witness to the word salad game, pathetic! After all that's all they've got . Conversations of any kind are pointless. Thank you again Jill 🙏❣️

[@mandygreen9152]

Thank you so much for this video! you explaine excacly what if being true! for 7 years! i broke it off 4 years ago, and im still healing and yes im a empath and sensitif and have a lot of love to give, slowly my own energy is a little bit better but im still realy tired, i know the word salads the manipulatief games etc.

[@dr.christopherfaria6688]

So helpful, kind, and gentle truths. Soothing confirmation of what I experience. Blessings.

[@tomrauser4720]

wrestling with a pig ! exactly , with the ones i know, I have learned to sit , listen, then offer up dressing for their salad, they don't seem to want to bother with me much anymore

[@matilda1505]

Ty Jill ! I could listen to you all day long !

[@handleup888icon-ik]

I call it compassion for humans

[@ernestgreen6821]

Awesome! You described my X wife perfectly! Thank You!

[@anthonydied8697]

I need help with parental alienation. And being blamed for things I didn't do. And getting destroyed

[@jasonjones4492]

Sounds about right!

[@bobbiecellon3508]

I am learning so much from these videos Jill ~ thank you so much. i had to laugh i have always said my aunt (who i lived with for much of my childhood) was the only person in the world who could make me crazy! two years ago her husband passed away and she came to live with me and my husband. it was truly the most horrible year of my life. i can't tell you how dreadful i behaved during the year she was with us. i took good care of her physically but emotionally i pretty much avoided talking to her. here i must add i was married to a narcissist for 24 years and lived with a narcissist stepmother for six years when i was a child. for the last 31 years (i am 75) i have had a beautiful peaceful life with a wonderful husband. my children, 1 son, 2 daughters suffered from the emotional abuse of their father. they are wonderful independent people who are only now understanding what was done to them. narcissist are unimaginably destructive people but you can heal. thank you again!

[@Darren-su2gm]

Thank you for your comforting words.I was discarded and hurt seriously by my exgirlfreind malignant narcissist.I feel partially dead Inside.I'm slowly picking the pieces of my life.I have hope and faith that I will recover🤕

[@JenPurple2022]

True so true.

[@risingeagle6332]

Conversations with my wife were ALWAYS” impossible. It was like entering a “Swirling Vortex” that went around and around for miles and miles. I would get out somehow with my head swirling all the time. Any time something came up; she would bring “EVERYTHING UP” over and over again.

[@angel772921]

Thank you so much lovely Jill..this was my ex mother brother and sister. ..love you. .💜

[@christineribone9351]

Exactly. . . . . It took me 20 years to figure it out, plus I lost EVERYTHING because of him. Why did it take losing everything to finally see it?

[@Darren-su2gm]

Because the narcissist trys to take everything from you.Your peace, money ,your sanity,food,self confidence, friendships and family relationships,time,energy,future,your patience,and your identity Very toxic and immature people 👿🔥💯

[@Darren-su2gm]

I lfeel for you.I lost alot of things too.I lost my health my car and alot of other items.

[@christineribone9351]

@@Darren-su2gmhow can people be proud of betraying someone like that? How do they look at themselves in the mirror? And why did they have to take your car, just to hurt you more? They needed your car so badly? You can't get your health back. The trauma and destruction they cause is astounding. The path of destruction they leave behind them is catastrophic. they wasted my life, and laugh about tricking me. I trusted them, they betrayed me. They're horrible people. There's not one drop of love in them.

[@ALC77787]

I am paranoid and have been diagnosed with mental illness. I am afraid of Mum again and I have to live with her.

[@joeyturrubiate7148]

Wow THANKS DOC ...YES I KNOW MANY SAD PEOPLE LIKE NAR, ALSO I HAVE BEEN STUDYING THIS TYPE ...AND AS I LOOK BACK IN MY LIFE , THERE HAS BEEN COUNTLESS ...THAX'S BE TO THE GOOD LORD HIM SELF ....4 HELPING AWSOME PEOPLE LIKE YOU EXPLAIN IT 2 ME ..& MAKE IT SO SO CLEAR TA UNDERSTAND 🙏🤔💔💔💜💜💜💜💛💛💛💛😘

[@moobearus]

Brilliant. Thank you.

[@shawnmarie1912]

Thanks Jill, really great vidio !!!

[@wellnesswithsaira5331]

Perfect words again, you are so spot on, thank you so much for this clarity. Love and blessings.

[@alimccreery755]

Since I’m down to only one narcissist in my life I do not allow him to engage or communicate with me. I grey rock and stonewall and most of all what’s important is to keep this person in the “they don’t exist “ mind frame. 👍👍👍👍

[@mickjenner6697]

Retty much this word salad description was my year of counselling before the inevitable separation,

[@michellefarris3961]

Every political speech is word salad.

[@michellefarris3961]

Control is all they care about, not interaction or cooperation.

[@kerryannmoor5908]

Absolutely so for forty years. I thought it was my lack of interpersonal skills.

[@CarlyJ]

I don't know how to thank you enough for this valuable knowledge you are passing on. I cannot express how much you've helped me the past few weeks. I am becoming stronger everyday and your caring soul shines through also. Thank you so much. ❤️

[@adrianaalvaradorodriguez6454]

Hello Jill, thank you once more for your super useful videos. I perceibed your voice and your mood a bit tired. Hope you are doing fine.

[@rexxer2792]

11:32 ... Yes disrespect of boundaries and having anyone force you to change even subtly is no benefit to you...