“Nobody can make me think, do, feel, or believe anything unless I let them. I’m responsible for that.” Pure gold🏆
@Danger_Bunnyyy Жыл бұрын
Taking notes 📝
@XeLYoutube Жыл бұрын
thats whyn i dont let people with no health no time no wealth insult me for being a single men with health time and wealth i dont let them project their misery
@koshinwarsame84308 ай бұрын
Good for you. What has that earned the rest of us. Rub it won’t you
@dragonstepperАй бұрын
That. Is Stoicism.
@vn934511 ай бұрын
This is the best advice I have had so far , that stop trying to figure them out and just work on your own healing
@dimples22904 ай бұрын
I agree 100% - Kenny is brilliant. I learn so much from him. Thank you
@athenagriego4561 Жыл бұрын
I'm going through the character assassination 😅😅😅😅😅😅 but because I watch these videos it doesn't hurt me anymore.
@jjule85azzuro49 ай бұрын
Awesome!
@MoulikaMorou-t5u7 ай бұрын
Good for you…. Some of us had to discover the information after the smear campaign and wished we’d known.
@athenagriego45617 ай бұрын
@@MoulikaMorou-t5u I've been through worse. I was almost killed by my second ex. That's what gets me through the bad stuff. I'm great now. I just block people who are negative. Ignore and move on. Ignoring them kills them and I love it! I got my power back.
@athenagriego45617 ай бұрын
@@MoulikaMorou-t5u the abuse I've endured happened in 2008
@athenagriego45617 ай бұрын
@@MoulikaMorou-t5u I guess my response never went through. I was in 2 abusive relationships. One almost killed me and if I would've have stayed one of them would have definitely killed me. I'm stronger which is why this narcissist couldn't beat me. NOT beat me like as in hitting. He never put hands on me he was mentally abusive.
@tinyfacemcgee9211 Жыл бұрын
I like it when you talk about us being in a child state and giving them all the power as if they are our parent. How crazy are we!
@more444store6 Жыл бұрын
I did that. My husband was in some ways like a father figure to me. He had all the control.
@hellcat1401 Жыл бұрын
Kind of like a step parent who is a narc.
@promo130Ай бұрын
Prof sam vaknin tells it the other way arround, the narc is a child who needs you to be his mother,
@mortdigo10 ай бұрын
What a refreshing video....biggest messege for me from this vid is to stop focusing on them and get on with your life :-)
@TheNarcissistMirrorАй бұрын
It's fascinating to see how a narcissist's behavior shifts when they realize their tactics are exposed. The strategies shared here are empowering for anyone dealing with this kind of dynamic. Thanks for shedding light on such an important topic!
@AQuietSole Жыл бұрын
All I wanted was for my mom to love me. She had 5 babies die before I was a twinkle in my parents eyes. I could never please her inspite of being a great child. I was 51 y/o when I finally stood up to my mom!! Best day of my life. Now we rarely speak. Her loss, not mine!
@lakebafondren5868 Жыл бұрын
All throughout my childhood my emotional needs were minimized. I learned through therapy to look out for my own needs first before that of others and to stop ignoring when my needs are being minimized or ignored. Once when I was having a discussion with my parent about something and said “ Hey remember when….”, they went off on me because all they could reference was the trauma that was going on with them at the time. They out of their own guilt they felt like I was indirectly pointing a finger at them. They started screaming “I don’t want to talk about it!” I had to remind them that I was there and had to live the trauma WITH them and it was a part of my history and I had a right to refer to it because it was something I lived through too. I explained to them that it was never my intent to blame them, but they needed to figure out what kind of relationship they wanted with me (deep or shallow) because I would abide by their decision. If I have to be guarded all the time in what I say around them, then we’d proceed with having a shallow relationship, but if they could stop feeling like every time I open my mouth I’m pointing the finger at them, then we could have a deep and significant relationship. Those were my boundaries. Thankfully, they chose the latter. I’m grateful the pleasant relationship we developed the last 10 years of their life. And it was all because I put my foot down and insisted on my boundaries not being violated.
@treshasstarr1513 Жыл бұрын
I stood up to my pedo father, I realize I wanted my “dad” but was not in that capacity to fulfill that for me, I let him go He’s now smearing me, but I know it’s not true so I do t care
@KM-oj4jk11 ай бұрын
🙏
@socol7611 ай бұрын
I was 42 when I stood up to mine
@jessicatobias937110 ай бұрын
25 felt so good. My chest never felt lighter.
@carvalone3076 Жыл бұрын
If you're trying to heal from narc abuse this is one of the most important videos you'll ever listen to. Thank you, Sir!!!! 🙏❤
@sp4rtavus244 Жыл бұрын
I agree
@XeLYoutube Жыл бұрын
having a happy healthy rich life is my favorite way to get my revenge since they are unhealthy unhappy and poor.
@dsharmanj11 Жыл бұрын
This is the first time anyone has clearly expressed and explained my own experience. The most important thing he says is to recognize your childhood "trauma". If you don't, you'll repeat it in another relationship.
@e.r.4447 Жыл бұрын
Hey don’t blame yourself please. No shame, no guilt, trauma litteracy and psychology were not taught in high school. You still have this worthiness they wanted to steal from you. You are powerful, you have power and choice because you know better. Be proud that they failed to take your soul and the wholeness of you. 2,3,4 years from now you gonna look at you and be more proud of your strength and resilience. The universe loves you so much!
@leolovelife7773 ай бұрын
God loves you. Universe can do nothing. God is near the brokenhearted 🙏
@Brandonp76 Жыл бұрын
Finally somebody said it. It’s on me to do the work on myself, not understand why the narcissist is the way that they are. The real question is. Why was I attracted to them… Thank you.
@mikeyblazeАй бұрын
Because of your childhood
@oraclehaveacookie9737 Жыл бұрын
Never sleep, marry or have kids with a narcissist woman or man. Period.
@jessicatobias937110 ай бұрын
Too late. He is three. Thankfully, he didn't want to marry me (his words )
@bz68377 ай бұрын
Now you tell me😫
@cyndigooch11627 ай бұрын
It's a shame that babies aren't able to choose not to be born to them as well! 😥
@dvegule920Ай бұрын
First you have to recognise a narcissist.
@christinefury1040 Жыл бұрын
You gave some advice that most do not. “Focus on why you missed the signs of the Narc. To begin with. Forgive yourself but work hard to understand yourself.
@AshleyMintz11 ай бұрын
This is such a good video! I didn't truly heal after dealing with a narcissist until I got real about the fact that I was getting something out of being codependent with the narcissist. It's hard to explain this to people who are early in their healing journey after narcissistic abuse.
@deb231912 күн бұрын
Its a childhood trauma bond too once you deconstruct your life.
@jilross4892 Жыл бұрын
So they are fully aware of what they are doing
@Angel_eyes___ Жыл бұрын
They have to control. Oh the projection is unbelievable.
@treshasstarr1513 Жыл бұрын
Fully
@lillylau72986 ай бұрын
Yessss they know
@AyeYoZay Жыл бұрын
My mom has definitely escalated all of these since I’ve finally made it to where I can be on my own and told her I’m done. Ain’t falling for it though.
@leanne123 Жыл бұрын
Hurray !! Free at last !! 🎉🥳
@AyeYoZay Жыл бұрын
@@leanne123 🙏🏾❤️
@myrtenuman621 Жыл бұрын
My mother expressed the opinion that I needed electro-shock therapy because I refused to have any contact with her. Big hug and good luck to you.
@maryellenyork2819 Жыл бұрын
Lol. When he told me how awful I was as a child, I called my parents, siblings and friends in the country where I grew up to ask if I behaved that way. Everyone was shocked because I was not like that at all. That's when I considered projection and realized his every accusation was self-revelation. It gave me compassion but he ran to a new source of supply.
@leanne123 Жыл бұрын
Don't bother with the compassion for him gf He has none for you.
@cocomaire Жыл бұрын
Wow. Getting tangled with a narcissist was what made me start really examining my childhood. I had loving parents, but they both had traumatic childhoods. They did a lot of their own inner work, but some of the trauma did pass to me. I’m trying not to pass it to my children. Thanks for the clear explanation
@daeclipse03 Жыл бұрын
Same. Kind of a blessing in disguise honestly. I know what's been holding me back in prior relationships and more importantly what caused that trauma in my childhood.
@SusanaXpeace2u Жыл бұрын
Same. after I escaped my abusive x and I started noticing that they both SHUT DOWN "my side" instantly, and not just shut me down but also both acted the victim of my having considered that there was another perspective. I began to realise, this frustration is familiar. Because of my parents I ended up with people around me who also believed, there is one perspective; MINE, and your attempt to present another perspective is outrageous!! I realised it was the same mixture of emotions. Frustration, shame and injustice!!
@stylist6211 ай бұрын
Wow, he always knew, I was continually figuring him out, he kept changing tactics, always trying to get me to fight, almost killed me, from cruelty to harmless victim, I had no idea what I was dealing with, felt bad for him. He did everything you say, slowly chipped away at me until I was traumatized
@merldog Жыл бұрын
OMG Kenny I am just so grateful for the sharing of your knowledge. I needed this 20 years ago - thank you for giving it to me now. George Elliot said, “ It’s never too late to be the person you should have been”.
@kennyweiss Жыл бұрын
Glad it was helpful!
@ymmij3883 ай бұрын
Mine did all of these things before she knew I knew. This all began six months ago, after the love bombing. It’s been little over a month since I discovered that I was dealing with a narcissist
@brendanthebdog Жыл бұрын
Thanks for this one Kenny! After dating the latest iteration of my mom, I knew I couldn't keep repeating the same pattern. I really was just living out that worst day cycle. Despite years of weight lifting, martial arts training, and even firefighting; there I was, a toddler freezing or fawning while being abused. Traveling back in time to some enraged lunatic hurling my toy firetruck down the stairs and breaking it while telling me I did to myself and I deserve it and I'm lucky that's all she did. Hurts like hell man! Narcissists are easy to figure out in the present, they are damaged, hurtful people that are generally intolerable. I just needed the approval of someone who I genuinely believe toyed with the thought of killing me as a child. Seriously, it sends a cold shudder down my spine to remember how she reacted to the Andrea Yates story when I was a kid.
@fruitypopwhickle6806 Жыл бұрын
I don't know you, Brendan, but I know you didn't deserve any of what you went through. You're a remarkable person for not only surviving, but wanting to be and do better than the individual who hurt you. Peace, light and healing to you.
@lindsayjackson92985 ай бұрын
I love your videos. Im a few years into this journey, but I think I have grown the most in the last year. I attract people with very selfish traits, not realizing the weight I carry. The actual abuse is old. The damage attracts a similar type because I am comfortable there, apparently. I kept thinking I would eventually prove I was worthy to someone....anyone. I can visibly see where I need to take accountability. If I dont heal, I will repeat this pattern until I die. I can't live this way anymore. I have a ways to go: therapy, meds, self-discovery. Its going to be a process. But Im ready to learn who I really am.
@seriouscarguys7023 ай бұрын
Thanks!
@kennyweiss3 ай бұрын
Thank you!
@twinkletee22 Жыл бұрын
It’s like they have to OBLITERATE you
@D3los3 ай бұрын
I got those first two “gets” over with really quickly.. but the hard and fast no-contact rule dissolved when she began preying upon my elderly father again. Thankfully im strong enough now to handle it and protect him while continuing to heal. I know im playing with fire. But now i also know how to treat my own burns.
@jdaustin7073 Жыл бұрын
I'm going through all of these right now. I had just the kind of childhood you talk about and it made me an easy victim. After 20+ years of her abusive DARVO BS I caught her cheating. Over that 20+ years I was working through my childhood trauma issues. I gave her 6 months to transition to the other house to lower the impact on our kids and get into therapy so she wouldn't screw up our kids. After waiting over 100 days with her waffling back and forth saying she would grant the divorce and making threats I outed everything publicly in the vaguest way I could. She did the Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender thing responding with personal attacks that were lies and half truths to assasinate my character and make me look like a monster and pervert. I responded, and defended... she used it to twist things even further. She's started therapy and gone to two sessions; I think she's already charmed the guy. I just want to protect my kids from that darkness in her!
@koshinwarsame84308 ай бұрын
I’m sorry. Reading that hurt 😔
@seanwagner7426Ай бұрын
Appreciate the knowledge and wisdom you bring to this space so true healing can begin. Anyone just finding out about this dynamic you are worth it put the time into heal and you will be amazed at how great life gets again and for some the 1st time.
@jozillagorilla11711 ай бұрын
I'm glad I came across this. I've been stuck in that spiral of watching videos on narcissism for over a year. I need to move forward after what she did, but I also feel like I need to understand her so i don't fall for her manipulative tactics she keeps trying to use. She left me with primary custody of our six kids. I'm trying to avoid her traps so I can take care of them.
@emmsue1053 Жыл бұрын
""Its *their life its none of our business" Very true. Adults are capable of making their own decisions. WE can smile, be evasive, ignore.. A sense of humour can carry you through! Thank you.
@RoseMazza-u8s Жыл бұрын
I lived with my sister, and I realized she was a covert narcissist , when I didn’t do what she wanted , and I set a boundary, she got insane, , physical abuse with me , and evicted me from her house, I was paying her rent , but she still evicted me . I was living on Social Security alone. And she did not care . I ended up, living in a shelter for over two months, before I could get a place to live. She kept taking me to court on Domestic Violence charges, that were bogus, and were always thrown out of court. I’m still suffering from the mental abuse from her. I moved to another county and she found me and I don’t feel safe. And no one can help me. !!!! She’s very vengeful and spiteful and I never know what she’ll do next. ???!😢😢😢. I can’t get a way from her. !!!! The Law. Can’t do anything for me. !!!! I don’t feel. SAFE 😢😢😢😢. FROM. HER. 😢😢😢😢😢😢
@oraclehaveacookie9737 Жыл бұрын
Thats why I dont have facebook or I tell anyone where I am. And by the way. Even if they track you down probably they cant do nothing to you. Go to the police denounce them. And to a dr and talk about your trauma with them. Leave bread crumbs of their behaviour everywhere and everyone.
@sassymango9369 Жыл бұрын
Kenny is out here dropping truth bombs 💯
@margaretbradley669310 ай бұрын
Well, it also feels like "home". Our parents model our sense of normality. Forty-fifty years ago, most of us had virtually no understanding of "trauma"....unless we studied psychiatry. Even then, awareness of childhood trauma was not understood or acknowledged.
@meghanahaval770110 ай бұрын
Wonderful video. Thank you for this. Focus on yourself and heal. It's hard while being stuck with the person. But I'm willing to do my inner healing work. ❤
@a4ordablehair Жыл бұрын
This is the most helpful video I’ve watched thus far.. I’m definitely in the “hyperfocusing on them” part HEAVILY.. and I tell myself ALLL the time “but how do I heal from this?!” So glad you said get on with your life.. I think sometimes we just need to hear someone else say it❤❤❤❤❤
@kennyweiss Жыл бұрын
Glad it was helpful!
@chosenforgreatness0810 ай бұрын
This was so in time for me.?thank you ❤ the best video to talk about our OWN healing And how much we are to blame ourselves and I have transferred that to my daughter
@patient_zer0850 Жыл бұрын
Very smart man (also dressed very smart 🙂)! Thank you for your wisdom and uploading it ❤️
@kennyweiss Жыл бұрын
Glad it was helpful!
@Kathy-20J-73 Жыл бұрын
55 years old SON. ALL 5 NO CONTACT
@rosieobi9260 Жыл бұрын
My childhood has me a bit confused. I had a loving mother but she was a widowed deaf mute. In being so, life was black and white never empathetic. It also came with little general conversation other than what really needed to be said. Raising 3 small children on her own and trying to make ends meet meant she worked hard. She did also have trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms. What I find hard about all this is I know she wasn't those negative influences in my life because she wanted to be or didn't love me/us. I'm not sure where to begin to heal from this childhood. I know she did all she could to help us all survive our lot in life. 🤷
@EveofPyrite Жыл бұрын
Wow bless her heart . It must have been hard on her doing all that alone. Also it must have been hard on you being raised that way.
@rosieobi9260 Жыл бұрын
@@EveofPyrite ❤️
@JohnBlashock Жыл бұрын
She probably learned this to Coupe with the Difficulties She had to Live in the World in Her own way. I couldn’t begin to understand how difficult it would be. My Heart goes out to You all though and could understand where your Compassion is coming from for Her. You have a Giving Heart to be this way and it is Tough to not receive that what you obviously need to feel whole from this Relationship. Don’t expect it though, to not detach and become Cold is the Difficulty I see. I wish I could do more for you, but I Pray for You and your Family ❤
@Nylon_riot Жыл бұрын
When they say trauma, it can be anything from alcoholism, to depression to emotional apathy. I am a disability rep and worked with the school for the deaf. From what I understand that the deaf community can havve emotional illness or dysregulation because of the deafness itself, because they don't get to interact with anyone else like able people can. It is very isolating. I have had multiple deaf friends who self reported this to me It makes me sad. How lonely it must be.
@smustipher Жыл бұрын
I knew I turned a corner in my healing journey when a relative with narcissistic traits (whom I have housed, supported financially, and managed care for after they sustained a TBI) told me, after I confronted them about a poor decision they made, told me that I have been "undermining them for their whole life". Rather than feeling upset or defending, I just felt grateful that I understood them better and could manage my interactions with them accordingly going forward.
@HeavyMetalChick_333 Жыл бұрын
No one and I mean no one deserves abuse of any kind for any reason whatsoever!!! I don't care what they have done or haven't done!!! If you can't try to be kind, loving, and respectful to everyone, then you should keep your mouth shut and not hurt others. Stop trying to control what others do, say, their appearance, and etc. Mind your own business, take care of your own life, help others when you can, respect everyone and yourself, and don't crap on others!!!
@morganlake41632 Жыл бұрын
What about the evidence of using art to reveal, heal....? Forgiveness is dangerous - I should only forgive those who can be trusted not to injure me again. I cannot be trusted with this. I must earn my own trust - takes time and many events because I have lied to myself so often about so much.
@IndigoBlue-td9ho10 ай бұрын
It's very true. I pulled away have detached. Her mum told me she was worried about her. So I contacted her to try and help. She told me she didn't want me back "I didn't ask" I said good don't want to come back. I said I was trying to help her because evil spirits are attacking her. She got so angry and told me go do as a pleased and she couldn't care less if I was sleeping with dozens of women. I was left thinking how odd. I called to help with evil spirits and she twisted it to me getting back with her "gaslighting" but I know this trick now so I kept saying why are you so angry? I didn't get angry at all nor did it pull me in. It actually repelled me
@gigichica11 ай бұрын
Thank you for this video. It makes so much sense. It's eye-opening. .
@recoveringbaptist20235 ай бұрын
They go for the jugular and use what you've confided in you against you. You confront them on their verbal abuse and they say "Why don't you write an autobiography about how you've been revictimized."
@amberc000 Жыл бұрын
Incredible advice. I appreciate your gentle approach at delivering such bluntness. Thank you.
@kennyweiss Жыл бұрын
You are so welcome!
@huruduru5144 Жыл бұрын
These people have traded their soul for Narcissism and are now dead inside..And what they hate about you is that you have a healthy soul and they are very jealous of that and they very much WANT IT! This is why they get angry when you fight them on their Narcissism because THEY WANT A SOUL! Every Time they get supply from you they take a piece of your soul and it feels soooooo good to them They want to take your soul and give you theirs..A soul exchange,. their dead soul for your healthy soul. Every time they get supply from you, there is an exchange, they feel good and you feel bad. This is why after a while you start feeling dead inside yourself.. This is why victims says they are evil. because they feel this..
@NextLevelTherapy Жыл бұрын
Because of your experience you truly tell it like it is - and be in reality! I can definitely attest to the work to be free! Sometimes the psyche isn't ready to really deal with their past and truly are blind to it because so busy feeling victimized by the other. Sadly, they may not see this until the relationship is completely broken and sometimes after several relationships are broken.
@lisalynch29305 ай бұрын
My daughter got involved with a narc and she had ZERO trauma. She and I had a beautiful relationship, very loving and understanding, best friends. I, on the other hand have some trauma from my parents. I believe he used ME and my trauma to get to her. The victim isn’t always a victim already. I think that’s important to note
@lisalynch2930Ай бұрын
My daughter and I are best friends. 1. If something happened to her, I’d know. I would recognize any subtle changes in her behavior. 2. I knew where she was at all times. I homeschooled her. She was never with anyone I didn’t know. She was a target because she’s an empath. Narcs target trauma victims AND empaths it’s just easier if they have trauma
@lisalynch2930Ай бұрын
Thanks! I just wish I was good enough to recognize what this guy was. BUT I sure know how to recognize it now. To some degree anyway
@margaretbradley669310 ай бұрын
Thank you for unpacking this in such a meaningful way. It really helps !!
@oonaghhagan9939 Жыл бұрын
My stepfather has been abusing my Mother for yrs! Now she has cognitive impairment he is worse and stopping us seeing her! He is a narcissistic and verbally and emotionally has abused us for yrs! I'm 58 now but need to protect my Mother 😢Thank u for this video!
@elderlypoodle918110 ай бұрын
Oh my goodness I’m crying. You are an Angel man 🙏🏻🥰
@madbee3 Жыл бұрын
And an undiagnosed autism girl with a narcissistic mother and an aloof father which was his answer to keep peace with her
@69judge27 Жыл бұрын
THEY CALL THE COPS. 😎🎸
@teresarodriguez821 Жыл бұрын
My Narcissistic eldest sister called the police on me in an argument she created by gaslighting me. The officer took her side and called me a 'racist' I reported him to his Lieutenant and my sister was furious that she could no longer manipulate a police officer.
@Bellatrix28618 Жыл бұрын
Yes!! He called the cops on me after pinning me down and threatening to kill me and throwing me full force Into my closet- breaking my shoe rack!! So twisted 😢
@Veronica-z8x Жыл бұрын
They would contact Child Protective Services if you have children. They will control how you are perceived by others if they cannot control you. A complete idiot!
@raegeh-fv9sm Жыл бұрын
Evil step monster order Christmas gifts for her biological sons. Called police on me and accused me of identity fraud and tried to get me arrested. Told her and the police if she didn't order items she should call the company and inform them that the order is fraud and cancel order. Then she should go to the post office and inform them of the fraud and ask that they not deliver the package. She did none of that and continued to call the police many times and keep the items she ordered.
@EternalflameC.L. Жыл бұрын
Omg this literally 😵💫
@anne-marietracey4866 Жыл бұрын
This is so true! My mother, I have now reflected, devalued me as a child and also as a grown adult. Would criticise and emotionally attack me and always compared me negatively to my dad, who she felt had let her down all her life, said he was like her 5th child. I was my dads blue eyed girl. It is only going through my current relationship, and I have recently identified my partner of 4 years as a narcassist, that I have been able to see this. I have called time on the relationship. My partner has not put up any fight to keep me or acknowledged anything that I have said to him. I left a really decent, normal, grounded man, the father of my 2 wonderful children, 13 years ago. He didn’t outwardly show me the love that i now know I have been seeking. Hence 2 wrong choices of men since I left him. Singledom for me from now. Happy with that
@genuinsanityАй бұрын
Absolutely , I used to be attracted to narcissists , . For a while now I could detect them ,even covert types and ghost them. Now I know why.
@mariafarley760211 ай бұрын
What do they live off of: our emotional reaction. Wow!
@katiecat5500 Жыл бұрын
So evil to attack the wounded child.
@MehrnoushTabibzadehTehrani10 ай бұрын
I don't know how to say thank you. The way you explained him “narcissist “was like you knew what I personally went through step by step Thank you!
@sp4rtavus244 Жыл бұрын
Jeez I wish this video existed 8 mths ago. This is such a brilliant video and he explains it so well and literally made me cry. I am moving on now. Thx brother.
@Nylon_riot Жыл бұрын
There is a point where the grief itself becomes a pathological problem. Which is why you see people who are still on the topic 15 years later. Trauma and active grieving should be temporary.
@MaiBarslev Жыл бұрын
We allways talk about parents, what about violent manipulating siblings, teachers and violent manipulating class-school mades. it is not only the parent who forms/shapes your childhood.
@jessicatobias937110 ай бұрын
I can not deal with passing this crap to my children ! It ends with me!
@marliesluyten8686Ай бұрын
Same for me. My children don’t now anything from my childhood abuse
@simonmuthemba97003 ай бұрын
Thanks boss 😊 you are really a very good man ..very rare in this galaxy..it's polluted by them already
@jeanjessup83755 ай бұрын
Do you have any videos on Narcissistic neighbors? How do you make them stop trespassing? One could put them in jail or move or wait for them to....
@Seminal_Ideas Жыл бұрын
I just want to sincerely thank you for this video. I've watched some excellent videos on narcissistic recovery on KZbin, but this one really hits the spot with me. I've been like a narc-magnet my whole life through broken marriages and other difficulties due to my toxic relationship with my father growing up. The inner child's voice only seems to get louder with age.
@kennyweiss Жыл бұрын
You are very welcome
@XeLYoutube Жыл бұрын
list mistake error , repeated mistake error, to learn wich error mistake get more repeated and are more to be prioritised, list potential solution list victories and good move, repeat them. minmax potential lower misery learn, apply, repeat
@margyrowland Жыл бұрын
Thank you Kenny for sharing your wisdom. Love your attire…..purple and gold 👍🏻
@Kim-tx3pb Жыл бұрын
I like this focus as I feel I have been stuck in the anger trap for too long and sick of it.
@margaretbradley669310 ай бұрын
Same story here. Can relate. He was a psychopath.....still is....35 years later.
@b.i.k.i.b.i.k.i Жыл бұрын
Thank you Kenny 🙏🏻 I’ve full responsibility and understand where my childhood trauma stems from. I believe my mother was a narc, I married 2 & gave birth to one who’s now a young adult. The hardest is being a parent to one. Do you think having narcs around you all your life can contribute to you adapting some narc traits yourself. Sometimes I think I could be a narcissist too or display narc tendencies. I just to feel relief and learn what a normal life is like 😢
@dclarke1896 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this great video! Disengaging, healing and getting on with my own life has set me free!
@zoraidita2022 Жыл бұрын
This is on point. My maternal family were NARCs and very dysfunctional and no wonder I attract narcissistic people. It makes more sense now. As the middle child, I was always looking for approval and attention. 😢
@sp4rtavus244 Жыл бұрын
Same
@cindybates6633 Жыл бұрын
Same
@colettemcdonald2372 Жыл бұрын
Kenny you saved my life
@ancyeulalie12118 ай бұрын
All of this happened to him so that we could be guided, this is prophet hood.
@michellebudziszewski8242 Жыл бұрын
Yep he's trying to destroy me now. I finally went to the police and am getting a lawyer. It's scary because the people in his life believe him. I know what he's capable of and im scared but fighting for me. Seeking help I can't do this alone. I let myself cry and finally realized just how badly I need to get back in therapy
@leanne123 Жыл бұрын
Crying helps clear away the emotions so you can think clearly. If you don;t feel the pain and cry you will remain in a state of confusion and indecision, Allow your self to cry until there are no tears left. Then you won;t be plagued with "unprosessed" emotions for the rest of your life. Unless you express your feelings they don't go away. Pain, anger, sadness remain until you allow yourself to cry. ❤️
@TuerlingsTim Жыл бұрын
Yes you are totally right😁. The reaction was emotional and false information. My response was: I have read your response 3 times and finished with a smile. When this is your feeling than I will be nice and not giving you this negative feelings anymore. Good luck with your new love you already having😉. After that I blocked here and all related connections from email and internet apps. Than to clean the mind more deleted all communication and pictures of here because all was fake. It gave me a lot of rest and after firing the study on internet everything became more clear. Thanks for your input. Yes the cause is my childhood and from their I looked forward 👍🏻👍🏻
@codrake78410 ай бұрын
Over several months now, I have been watching numerous videos of how to deal and cope with people who has a Narcissistic trait. By far, this is the best video I have seen of how Kenny Weiss actually describes the dynamics and what causes a person to become a Narcissist. This is so bloody true, and I am actually amazed how of how the origin started. Thank you very much. Wonderful advice.
@through.a.barrel.she.breathes Жыл бұрын
This is so en pointe Kenny. I constantly tried to understand why I kept suffering trying to figure out the narcissist and now it makes total sense.
@john316mitchell4 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so very much Kenny. I am grateful for the knowledge that is shared with so much Truth, Love, and most of all, focusing on loving ourselves enough to choose to heal. (Spiritually, Emotionally, Mentally and yes, even Physically.) It is all interconnected. Much Respect Always! 🙏🏼💚✨💜
@iammaxwellcole Жыл бұрын
This video is profoundly 😮honest, and extremely informative. Thank you sir.
@kennyweiss Жыл бұрын
Glad it was helpful!
@treshasstarr1513 Жыл бұрын
“You keep going back because you’re focusing on the narc instead of the childhood trauma” deep, this just triggered me to be better do better
@kennyweiss Жыл бұрын
Good for you that takes guts. If you’re looking for Solutions, my website is filled with tons of things to help you.
@eilamariesartre8823 Жыл бұрын
I love the way they project their role and what they're thinking onto you as if they can actually see into your head. I'm in a battle with one and he thinks dragging me through the mud with my past is going to destroy me, but I am proud of what I've recovered from and the past doesn't predict the future when you break the cycle. The connection with the childhood is real... my mom was too busy working to raise me as a single parent and the marc played the same game. I somehow became completely good without being with anyone after finally having a mostly healthy relationship (with someone that had anxious attachment so I kind of ended up securely attached by trying to help that person with their issues). I don't know how it all worked out but somehow I ended up OK on the other end and now the only way my ex gonna hurt me is by trying to go to court and taking our child he abandoned from over a year ago.
@dundascrew565011 ай бұрын
Thank you for this video, it’s helped a lot.
@jjule85azzuro49 ай бұрын
Yes! The reaction and the trauma it causes. When I stopped taking the bait. The made up blackmail started. Than the victim. The name calling . The pure gold is understanding exactly what this video is talking about and no longer getting sucked in.
@rdhette944 Жыл бұрын
Spot on, as always. Thank you! ❤
@kennyweiss Жыл бұрын
You are so welcome
@NickBB9 ай бұрын
These videos are changing my life after what happened. I'm about to schedule a session with you Kenny
@kennyweiss9 ай бұрын
Looking forward to being a part of your journey!
@normalimbaga2253 Жыл бұрын
I don't know but I let go let God thank you
@TheXsandman6 ай бұрын
Amazing video, thanks. I was thinking about every angle. how foolish, waste just as much energy as i would if they were around in the first place.
@MrFunktone Жыл бұрын
This is a brilliant video. Thanks for the reminder it's easy to get lost in the haze. I wish I could totally unpack the considerable trauma I suffered as a child. In some ways I have managed to but I think a professional would help to fully understand it and accept it
@margyrowland Жыл бұрын
I now realise I have CPTSD and I don’t have the same responses as regular people. I’m learning lots about myself after 60 years of trying to manage “life”. More than 20 years no contact with a malignant narcissist mother who recently died. Hopefully some of my children will open their minds now the constant drip, drip of her poison has been switched off. You and I will be OK! Love from Australia 🇦🇺
@MrFunktone Жыл бұрын
@@margyrowland thanks for the really nice reply! We've both been through the wringer by these toxic people but we are stronger and good people at the end of the day. Love back to you from England
@EmpoweredToBeMe Жыл бұрын
@@margyrowlandwell done. The “work” you did, be proud of yourself.
@Rwhisper-sy9qu Жыл бұрын
Big Little Lies Nicole Kidman
@DaRyteJuan Жыл бұрын
This is some dense material to get through. The covert female narcissist in my life is my primary care physician. Recently she manipulated my private parts without permission. But she did so right in front of a female nurse as if to say, “Look. I can do whatever I want with this patient.”
@zoraidita2022 Жыл бұрын
😮 WOW that's not right!
@DaRyteJuan Жыл бұрын
@@zoraidita2022 Thanks. I’m trying to get an apology from her r/n. I have basically suggested to her she’s risking her medical license if she doesn’t apologize. Still waiting … ⏳
@oraclehaveacookie9737 Жыл бұрын
😢ask God to take her away and to send you someone normal
@jessicatobias937110 ай бұрын
Wow. sorry that happened to you !
@jacqueline4749Ай бұрын
It all makes sense now....thank goodness for youtube ❤
@Isabel-fy1er7 ай бұрын
Thank you, doc. Sharp as used. Ha, now the door is pointed, it's my decision to go trough.
@km38334 Жыл бұрын
It seems to me that the label "equalization" needs to be clarified as *false* or *pseudo-* equalization. A more accurate label might be "whataboutism" On another note, a very important concept brought up here is the one of MATURITY. The piece about the three "gets" is excellent ❤
@stephaneRoudaut-xt1dg7 ай бұрын
Thanks you very Much Doctor Kenny Weiss ,I'm looking you from France & your talks do help me understand far more my neighbour downstairs Who unfortenately IS a narcisisst and voilent and IS After me . Thank you for your generosity and humbleness and Keen désire to help others with your expertise and expérience.God bless you and your loved ones
@dongerdong11847 ай бұрын
Narcissist women i married liked to always tell me how to be a man that she would respect, when I asked her if she thought she acted like a women that a man she assumed she deserved would deal with. Rage, rage, rage, rage now that its over. What a mental case she was.
@yvonnes7412 Жыл бұрын
Yep my 2nd husband was a combination of both my parents in childhood. My husband was a neglectful narcissist (similar to a covert narcissist but abandons)… my father is a covert narcissist and my mother was neglectful because of her alcoholism… it was like my husband was a storm of all the problems with both my parents
@Darcy11x Жыл бұрын
This is such a great video, I really want to thank you, I've watched hundreds of these videos and never have I heard that I was attracted to him due to what all happened to me as a child, I wouldn't of ever thought that was why, but the more I think about it, my mind is blown thats exactly whats going on, my Dad was loving but not around and my mom never touched me and im always wanting to be hugged and love for me validated and when my Dad left I believed I wasn't reason enuf to stay for, I was 5 so I didnt understand my mom didnt have a choice, he did however have a choice when he cheated on my mom and stayed with that woman and had a child and there was no time for me, on top of that is much more different types of trauma that I'll spare you the details. So I can not thank you enough for posting this, so well said and so well laid out. Ive been trying to separate from him for a while but he refuses to leave, we've been together 20 yrs but this last yr was different I could tell he met someone else, and completely destroyed our lives. Right now, all he can do is devalue and project his misery. I woke up to a text this morning, basically just stating im a horrible person and the reason everything is messed up, and that Im a liar, which I actually take pride in the fact I never really have a reason to need to lie. Im trying to save up to get my daughter the hell out of this, but its gonna take time, and it's just pure hell. Hes a covert so its sickening to see all the people in hus life be so convinced how great he is, if I told them what I know, they wouldn't believe me, hes a master manipulator. Wish me luck. I need it!! I cant thank you enough for this informative video? I feel stronger just knowing why/how this happened.
@jesperandersson889 Жыл бұрын
oh wow this is the killer presentation you got it made - still its hard but you know this is the way to describe this - now go do the job exactly (and still watching videos and ruminatin helps), this however is the killer message - with the best description of what REALLY is going on spannnxxx!!!
@waterfall844 Жыл бұрын
This is so on point. I kept wondering why I kept suffering trying to figure out the Narcissist. And makes total sense. I finally understand why. To think years tormented silently also wondering why they were so cruel as Narcisstic. Thank you!
@miriampensiero5527 Жыл бұрын
😮😊😮😊😮😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
@Texmex-7Ай бұрын
You truly have a calling… you have helped me heal🙏🏼🙏🏼
@luannmorisette3851 Жыл бұрын
What is the definition of childhood trauma?Can you give examples please.Apart from being adopted I grew up in the Brady Bunch home yet ended up with aCovert Narcissist that took 25 yrs. of abuse and him taking my childeren away before I figured out I was being abused.Now Ive just ended another toxic relationship after 7yrs.and come to find hes a narcissist also.My first narc.was a alcoholic and I became codependent with him.Could this be the reason Ive gotten with another narcissistic man?