This Satellite does not exist: The Story of Zircon

The 1970's was a different time, one of bizarre fashion choices, excellent music, and cars which were basically cast iron boxes that exploded in cold weather. But it was also a time of great change, social revolution, equality marches, and of course to looming threat of nuclear annihilation.
But it wasn't all bad news, somewhere deep within the mirky depths of various countries' military budgets a very smokey man, who probably wore too many hats, decided that what a country with a poverty rating that would inspire modern-day Uganda to send food parcels too, was a hyper-expensive spy satellite so they could compete in the technological espionage dick waving contest with America.
That man does not exist, the result does not exist, and its subsequent expose also does not exist. Welcome to the bizarre tale of Zircon.
More about Duncan Campbell:
www.duncancampbell.org/

[@killian9314]

They named a smokescreen counterinteligence fake satelite after; Zirconite, the Fake diamond. (gasps) *KEK*

[@archygrey9093]

I didn't realise that, that is actually really smart of them to come up with that.

[@mishak6175]

That was my first thought Haha

[@halogeek6]

@@archygrey9093 truly master level deception. One of the greatest like "nothing to see here" and "classified above top-secret corn project." Ehich totally one hundred percent is just a government project to increase corn production. Totally not a weapons of mass destruction program.

[@fnorgen]

@@archygrey9093 If I remember correctly the British intelligence community became very weary of using clever code names after experience they had with German codenames during the war. The Germans had a fondness for names that people in the know would find funny or fitting. However this also meant that sometimes the British would get quite a lot of useful information about projects they heard rumours about, simply by looking up what the codename might have been a reference to. They became determined to never use "smart" codenames themselves, but instead combinations of completely mundane words, ideally chosen from a list at random to deny the enemy that opportunity. Sounds to me that they deliberately did the opposite with Zircon, and codenamed a "fake" communication satellite after fake diamond.

[@weldonwin]

Wasn't there also a Soviet manned spy satellite called Almaz? (Russian for Diamond)

[@AsbestosMuffins]

Lol, imagine the horror in 1950s britain to discover that the mild mannered Canadians next door were actually AMERICANS, and also soviet spies, but the first part would be more scary

[@bigsyrup8567]

I mean, in the 50s, Canada was still tolerable and very similar to the proper-thinking Americans. Now you need to look in rural Western provinces to find proper Leafs.

[@sakaraist]

Still happens all the time, People often omit the fact that they're from the states and say or imply Canada instead as its much more favorable. Americans aren't overly welcome in many countries as they're often seen as brash and insensitive. Particularly in tourism.

[@leolordful]

I've noticed the exact opposite when Europeans visit the USA. They feel they have all the answers and can't wait to critique all of us "stupid americans" on how to do everything and then get offended when they are soundly told to piss off.

[@asteve6537]

@@sakaraist which is actually the exact opposite

[@garyslayton8340]

@@sakaraist as an American It's because we are

[@joshuadunton2476]

“And after it was translated, the Americans now knew” I see what you did there sir and I can’t stop chuckling at it. Love these videos, keep them coming- signed American citizen.

[@jamiekamihachi3135]

He said it so causally it’s went over my head for a second.

[@okaythankyoubyeee2501]

I literally laughed out loud when I heard that too

[@WWFanatic0]

Reminds of me of a Yes Minister bit in a similar style where Bernard is on the phones "Yes, we need simultaneous translators" "No, not for the English speaking countries." "Yes, the English speaking countries can be said to include the United States"

[@nk_3332]

They didn't believe the British reports, they had to wait to get the translated reports from the Soviets.

[@TheFirebird123456]

@@WWFanatic0 with a certain charity of spirit.

[@silmarian]

Fun fact about the UK's space program: to my knowledge, they're the only nation to develop orbital space launch capability and then just.... stop.

[@alphaplayzz1381]

*only nation to develop it independently

[@maean7410]

whats more British than having the capability to do something awe inspiring and then just not doing it cuz you cant be bothered

[@AsbestosMuffins]

1 part the US offering to undercut them, and the brits not understanding why that might be a slight problem 1 part Thatcherism, or proto-Thatcherism

[@EstParum]

Sweden built a fully functioning nuclear bomb 1954 and then dismantled it. Just to prove to Generals they could.

[@shcdemolisher]

Likely because money and that it was realized that it wasn't going the way they thought it would and canceled the whole thing. I'm just guessing here as an american. Since EVERYTHING needs money, or it was likely backers got cold feet about the idea, or something. I have no idea or proof.

[@ashenwanderer3592]

Airforce: Drives man to incurable insanity World's Spymasters: What an inspiration 👏 👏👏👏👏

[@aaroncabatingan5238]

You gotta admire their ingenuity.

[@akmarksman]

CIA: ha, amateurs..

[@Slender_Man_186]

@@akmarksman *proceeds to lowkey make a sizable majority of the population chasing the same goose*

[@alexandermackie7621]

@@akmarksman The numbers Mason!

[@joeblow9657]

Let's do that team👊

[@jstoned88]

I got your pentagon wars video in my recommended a few months back. It barely had any views but the thumbnail was interesting and I'm glad I gave it a shot. The quality of your videos reflect the effort you put into them and I'm happy your transition from gaming to history has born fruit. Keep up the good work.

[@talkingmudcrab718]

I started getting Lazerpig recommendations after the start of the Ukraine War and my inevitable start to my Escape From Tarkov career. He's quickly become one of my favorite KZbinrs. Top 5 for sure. The rest of my top 10 channels are all music related, so yeah...

[@RandomPerson-ob1hk]

Same haha I love this channel, great work that sadgely goes unnoticed

[@quantusmechanicus5921]

The T-34 vid was the first one I got cuz I still love Soviet tanks even though I know they aren’t the greatest lol

[@blitzkrieg2142k]

I was looking up pentagon war vids and discovered lazerpig that way. Love watching the channel.

[@lifeunderthestarstv]

Hes great entertainment. But a good chunk of what he says isn't true or is twisted one way or another to make the points he wants.

[@rwall514]

Funny story about the space agency… It had one. It launched ONE satellite on a rocket called BLACK ARROW (all caps is mandatory). The entire BLACK ARROW program was scrapped just before they launched their first orbital satellite, and they were only allowed to just launch the fucker because they already had it ready to go at cancellation. The Americans suckered them in with cheap rocket launches… then raised the price of said rockets when they gave up on their space program. The UK was also going to contribute to the Europa rocket made by the rest of Europe, with their Blue Streak missile as the first stage, but they pulled out to focus on BLACK ARROW after the West Germans couldn't build an upper stage to save their lives. The remaining countries formed the Ariane rocket series and the ESA. As of today, the UK is the only country in the world to have obtained independent orbital space flight, only to give it up later. (The satellite's name was _Prospero_ - the sorcerer from Shakespeare's _The Tempest_ who gives up his powers - as a reference to the mind-numbing stupidity of the powers that be.)

[@dogsnads5634]

Prospero is still up in orbit as well... The good news is lots of things happening in the UK space industry so independent launch capability should arrive in the next year or 2...

[@murphy7801]

Alan Turing invents the modern computer, UK government does nothing with it. Let's Americans have it. Etc endless examples of UK government being useless.

[@havoc3742]

People REALLY need to stop naming shit that!

[@corrat4866]

Common Brit L

[@The_ZeroLine]

@@havoc3742 ?

[@Verticen_]

23:48 "...After it had been translated for them, the americans now knew." now this is some top quality writing.

[@alqaeda7040]

Why?

[@aldgate]

@@alqaeda7040 did you reply to this comment with something so pointless months after the comment was made

[@Kriosaivak]

23:09 might be the first time I’ve ever actually seen someone’s jaw drop in the literal sense of the word. I’d always kinda thought it was just a figure of speech.

[@MrTargets]

I know right quite jaw dropping really

[@whinyurchin5457]

If his ending theory is correct, that it’s all a distraction, he could be acting and following the common saying ‘I need to act shocked when he mentions it, so I’ll drop my jaw’

[@mrgreatauk]

Burst out laughing at that 😂. Can't imagine what was racing through his mind at that point

[@TRC98]

mans life flashed right before his eyes

[@bipbap5079]

@@whinyurchin5457 Still might have been genuinely surprised that he brought it up so nonchalantly or in the open.

[@kitnaylor7267]

So apparently the UK *did* get satellite images of the Falklands. From NASA. Who told the Argentinians they couldn't make the orbital passes work, who wanted the images for the same reason.

[@kyle18934]

If you can't get the spies to give you data, just go to the nerds with an extra A. perfect idea.

[@kitnaylor7267]

@@1xoACEox1 Well I mean it usually depends if the military Junta is anti-soviet or not. If it is (which this one was), all bets are off as far as the Americans are concerned...

[@kieranwalsh2058]

@@kitnaylor7267 Worth noting that the US actually set up that government, however Galtieri was the aggressor in this case, and it would look pretty awful for the US to support an unprovoked annexation of a couple islands that didn’t even want to be Argentinian

[@PastorOfMuppets91]

I do believe that the anti-communist junta did end up getting satellite intel of the British fleet from the Soviets. Apparently, because Argentina still sold them food despite the embargo on the USSR for invading Afghanistan.

[@GustaHeavy]

@@PastorOfMuppets91 i can confirm. I have read a big debate on a forum about the atack to the hms Invincible (which UK does not recognize while Argentina claims that the carrier was touched) where an argentinian air force veteran recognizes indirectly that the intel on the position of the carrier was provided by the soviets satelites.

[@HumphreyHorsehead]

"the existence of MI6 was denied right up until 1994" Hold up. Are you telling me y'all tried to deny they existence of MI6 for a whole 16 Bond movies?

[@Alucard-gt1zf]

They didn't try to deny it they just never recognised it until 94 It's like how although the sas was known about in military circles it was only until the embassy siege the government acknowledged its existence

[@talltroll7092]

I don't know what you mean. Bond CLEARLY worked for "Universal Exports"

[@JoshSweetvale]

Ah, MI6 was the "fictional" version of MI5.

[@BungieStudios]

M-l6 is an old rifle used by the United States military.

[@JoshSweetvale]

@@BungieStudios No.

[@comandantegorrion7271]

Honestly, at the end of the video, when he said “now you know what zircon is“ I thought for sure he was going to follow it up with a “or do you?“ Magnificently done, bravo.

[@casacara]

Broke: the government is hiding secret aliens Woke: the government is hiding new models of standard role vehicles and spy satellites WITH aliens.

[@carso1500]

Yeah it actually makes perfect sence, the goverment is testing some new hyper advanced spy aircraft that they don't want the soviets to know about but some idiot accidentaly managed to take a look at it "It's aliens" says the idiot and the goverment simply smiles I'm sure those new "alien" stories that where all over the new are also a diversion, aparently the new 6th generation airplanes have been in development for quite a while

[@FakeSchrodingersCat]

Sort of makes you wonder about the recent uptick in news about UFOs.

[@Slender_Man_186]

@@FakeSchrodingersCat the US government: “guys, aliens exist, we’re confirming it. No seriously guys, look aliens! GUYS LOOK AT THE UFO IT’S ALIENS! NO DON’T NOTICE THE INFLATION!!!”

[@FakeSchrodingersCat]

@@Slender_Man_186 The beginning of the announcements on aliens predated the inflation and I think it would be released differently if they were targeting the general public for something as universal as the economy but more or less the idea.. I lean more towards the lights in the sky you saw were aliens not our secret hypersonic missile tests or 4th generation drones.

[@purplepenguin43]

@@Slender_Man_186 I suspect the recent UFO investigation is actually a intelligence gathering exercise on stealth aircraft or drones that have operated American airspace. my guess is the new space force started a review of ufo reports in comparison to their own flight operations and realized that they might not be the only ones operating "unknown" aircraft in US airspace. These unknown aircraft could simply be hobby built drones that are way above normal spec and people don't bother going through the FAA to launch them because the FAA currently doesn't allow uav's to be operated beyond line of sight unless you or have a good reason and large pockets or are a government agency. Or maybe the Chinese, Russian or other nations spy planes or drones are being launched from US soil by spy's on the ground, to observe US targets. or it could just be more weather phenomena, but data on weather is still super useful if your trying to improve your radar and sensors to detect stealth aircraft and drones in all weather conditions. it also could be an effort to look use crowd sourced intelligence for other goals. ie: "look UFO's! point your camera's at the sky and post about it on social media" now you have data from hundreds of cameras pointed at the sky all tagged with UFO for easier sorting. My guess is the airforce/nsa/nasa/cia/etc... really doesn't care which one of these it as data on any of them would be useful for their own operations and security.

[@mikedrop4421]

My gods this is amazing. It's like a mash-up of everything I love like British absurdist humor, history, spy stories and whacky editing. A masterpiece. **chefs kiss** Edit: spy satellites are so far advanced it would blow people's mind. Years ago when NASA was gifted to leftover Hubble class mirrors that were not used by American intelligence because they were obsolete it was mind blowing for me. They have a fleet of Hubble telescopes pointed at the earth and they are obsolete? Holy crap.

[@kyle18934]

That's crazy to think about. With that level of detail, they could probably read someone's phone screen... well if it isnt already giving off data already

[@kyle18934]

Man, imagine if those satellites were pointed to the stars, instead of spying on people. It would be wondrous.

[@dongiovanni4331]

While they have a very similar satellite bus to Hubble, KH 11 mirrors are optimized for Earth observation. They would need some slight redesigns for astronomical observation. I for one am looking forward to the Nancy Grace Roman Space Telescope.

[@Killua2001]

Hubble actually has a pretty small mirror, which is why NASA is struggling to find a good use for the second mirror. The Herschel Space Observatory, for example, already is a larger telescope orbiting further out, even if I ignore the JWST. Not to mention the instruments are built from 80s tech. One of the reasons the JWST needs its sun shield is to reduce the noise floor down to zero. It's an IR telescope where if the mirror was too hot, it'd overwhelm the faint amount of light it's looking for. On the other hand, if you're looking at the earth, you don't have that problem. It's already incredibly bright. You don't need a noise floor of zero, you care way more about resolution, which means you need bigger and bigger telescopes. The types of instruments and specific designs are diverging more and more. Astronomical telescopes tend to be looking for increasingly faint objects. Spy satellites need increased resolution to distinguish between objects.

[@MCXL1140]

@@kyle18934 the main resolution limitation of satellite cameras at this point is the shimmer in air currents from shifting temperatures. That's okay though because they can just fly a drone at 70,000 ft that has an aggregate of 100 different phone camera sensors to denoise the picture and see through the shimmer. Oh and of course a drone like that is tiny. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/ARGUS-IS#:~:text=ARGUS%20is%20an%20advanced%20camera,a%2015%20square%20mile%20area.

[@simonnachreiner8380]

"Why the CIA no longer operates in the UK" ... At least Openly I pose the reminder that the CIA's charter expressly forbids domestic spying, but we all know that's about as honest as your average corporate tax return.

[@aeroblitzt9561]

To be fair to them domestic spying is probably done by the NSA

[@Valiguss]

Tbf they probably don’t do a ton of domestic spying that would piss off the fbi…

[@circleofsorrow4583]

"I can't talk to you about that." Should of been; "Zircon? What is that?"

[@Slender_Man_186]

But then the act wouldn’t have been sold. The whole idea is to make it seem like this oh so clever investigative journalist stumbled onto something massive, meanwhile it’s all just a distraction. Frankly, I’m impressed with that jaw drop, spot on acting to really make the cover up stick.

[@chriscunningham9740]

During the interview, when the BBC reporter asks "what will the zircon satellite do the the relationship between the UK and NATO" Sir Ronald Mason has his mouth hanging open for exactly 3.6 seconds. But who's counting

[@wolfi9933]

3.6 not great not terrible

[@richardvernon317]

@@wolfi9933 It was most definitely a "How the Fook do you know about that!!!!" moment

[@TheWebbNasty]

3.6 seconds is plenty of time to shit enough bricks to build a house.

[@Treblaine]

He either has the worst poker face in the world or that was an amazing bluff pretending to be shocked about Zircon... a phantom satellite.

[@shonenjumpmagneto]

*to the

[@Lucarionape]

Thanks for these, I’ve now binged your videos twice and I’m really not sure why but they really have hooked me.

[@LazerPig]

Its the cocaine I'm weaving into the background music

[@Lucarionape]

@@LazerPig considering I’ve never tested my tolerance to that, I am now doubly sure I should never try drugs.

[@kyle18934]

@@LazerPig I knew it! I was wondering what that oddly familiar funky smell was when watching your videos!

[@RD1R]

@@LazerPig industrialized gay space lazerpigs are my jam too 😁

[@galloviking4766]

"You will need a lesson on British intelligence. That will be brief." That got a chuckle from me.

[@Jame5man]

I love stories like this. The living proof that every conspiracy theorist is living a lie told to them by the government in order to hide the real conspiracy

[@anzaca1]

Not to hide a conspiracy. Just hide important information that actually does need to be secret, which the public has no need to know.

[@thehaloscrolls391]

@@anzaca1 okay Fed

[@ryanm7704]

@@anzaca1 This is the boring truth people don't want to accept.

[@Chironex_Fleckeri]

@@thehaloscrolls391 Some things need to remain secret. Don't be a dunce. We shouldn't just publish specifications of military hardware. Do our adversaries? That's one example of sensitive information that could you know... compromise our national security.

[@ieatmice751]

@@thehaloscrolls391 some things have to be secret, if every country (including your enemies) knows the intricacies of your national security then that is a problem

[@georgespence705]

And with this one done, I have binged your entire channel. Utterly brilliant, criminaly underrated The military history videos are splendid, but the obese like this here are truly something unique

[@therealkillerb7643]

Just discovered this channel and seriously, why doesn't it have more subscribers? Great material, well presented, with classic British humor. But then again, maybe everything he's saying, is just what they want us to believe... You know who I mean...

[@johnduchesneau8685]

What if the Brits made it seem that the cover of Zircon was blown and, therefore, the programme was cancelled. However, the programme kept on going.

[@Hadesthief]

That's what he said happened

[@ZontarDow]

@@Hadesthief no what actually happened was the actual project it was a distraction from blew up due to the shuttle launch failure.

[@dogsnads5634]

@@ZontarDow It didn't. Challenger had a TDRS-B comms sat onboard. Zircon was still in the design phase. Lazerpig seems to be unaware of the more interesting follow up to Zircon....which is that the UK funded an NSA SIGINT satellite and essentially bought in to the US system. Basically becoming a shareholder with access to the other satellites.

[@mattkemp1902]

You are an amazing storyteller. Can't beat the combo of authenticity, intelligence, passion and unapologetic weirdness

[@thomasanderson440]

And time to binge again. I can't wait for this channel to blow up.

[@LazerPig]

People say this every video...and it never happens.

[@thomasanderson440]

@@LazerPig Hold faith. I was subbed to ordinary things and I did a thing when they had like 2000 subscribers, then they blew up basically overnight Edit: VINDICATION! Congratulations on 100,000 subs!

[@spartanx9293]

Don't jinx it

[@Romamon]

@@LazerPig it's here now

[@Optimusprime240]

I mean I ran across it from beneath my rock! Perhaps others will too?

[@Spudtron98]

23:02 The way his jaw fucking dropped there, oh my _god_ you can just see the gears turning in his head.

[@DomR1997]

This Falkland War movie looks great, I can't wait to see it. The dedication of the studio, going so far as to fund research into time travel just to go back and get those shots, is astounding. I have never felt so humble.

[@deismaccountant]

Is that supposed to be some famous theme song it got at 12:10 ? I’m not familiar with it I admit.

[@cen7ury]

"...and after it had been translated for them, the Americans now knew." I am a proud American, and I approve this sly burn.

[@dantemorelli5364]

Didn’t know abt the Kirtland aliens thing. Makes sense though because they did EMP testing on pretty much every plane in inventory there. Fun fact: the complex is called the trestle, and is a giant structure made of wood and laminate, no metal parts at all! I have a piece from my grandpa that they gave to him after he retired from the labs. Idk what they do now there but I’m sure they’ve moved on to more interesting endeavors.

[@dasji2]

Genetically engineered Cyber cat girl commandos. Ready to fight and die for us......... Or a robot that brings us beer idk

[@SovereignTurkey]

@@dasji2 sadly, the reality is more likely they closed up shop after severe budget cuts

[@Ni999]

The Trestle was part of one of the test facilities, not the name of a complex.

[@ji3194]

@@Ni999 it was called ATLAS 1 locals do call it the Trestle. It was closed in 91 as the USAF does computer simulation testing as its a lot cheaper

[@Ni999]

@@ji3194 Thanks - I worked there. Tell me about how the locals called the whole complex the Trestle along with why it was closed.

[@doubleugly1594]

I dont agree with everything you have to say, but this still my favourite channel at the moment... the songs at the end contribute significantly to this... please never stop, Mr. Peeg

[@fluffynator6222]

Not everything? Like?

[@doubleugly1594]

@Fluffynator ooooh wouldnt you like to know! Lol

[@fluffynator6222]

@@doubleugly1594 Yeah, I actually would. Might you tell me? ^-^

[@leodesalis5915]

@@fluffynator6222 if I had to guess I would assume the covid stuff and remarks on the Tories.

[@doubleugly1594]

@leo de salis Aha.. see this started as kind of a joke, but now its turning into an interesting experiment... some of you seem like you barely hold yourselves together, waiting to tear into an opinion that you might not share... its kind of fascinating how attached people get to their opinions. Frankly, there is alot of this in the armchair general community and its absolutely the wrong way to go about finding objective truth. I have absolutely ZERO interest in discussing any of it with idiots on youtube looking for a fight lol

[@b.elzebub9252]

28:45 So that quickly escalated from 'Keep him distracted by throwing him a bone every now and then' to 'Let's see how much we can fuck with this guy before he completely loses his mind.'

[@napalmholocaust9093]

Kirkland has some weird stuff a few miles to the left just past the golf course. Stairs that decend into the desert, 2 sets facing the things buried underneath. My friend's wife was too low the foodchain to know anything besides stacks of nukes. She went down everyday and really just complained of the power going out constantly, no secrets or ufos. Just a ton of sexual harassment.

[@purplepenguin43]

With as much trouble as those workers had to go through to get healthcare claims from burning chemicals in open pits in Area-51, i'd imagine trying to file sexual harassment claims against the kind of people who's life Dream is to us the Top Secret stamp to Tattoo their dick, is much worse.

[@sorrymabbad]

It's 1 AM, I'm drunk sleepy and have work in 6 hours. But fuck it, new LazerPig video, let's go.

[@LazerPig]

What's more important, work or me?

[@sorrymabbad]

@@LazerPig don't know, I'm drunk sleepy right now lol

[@booradley6832]

Your name is ironic. Based on stereotype and you being drunk, you are indeed "a bad Muhammad"

[@raycearcher5794]

"Oi Maggie, can we 'ave a spy satellite?" "Ooh! D'ya think we're made 'a money? Buy yer own spy satellite, ya wee idjits!" "Kin we embezzle 2 billion dollars for one, then?" "Yeah, fine."

[@judet2992]

“Say goodbye to Goose and Hotrod.” We were already half done there, bud.

[@martinboland810]

It's interesting that we've never had a picture of what Zircon was supposed to look like. The story was that they got the name from the stuff they use to make the sat - but as far as I can tell, CZ isn't something that is used in sat construction. And yeah, it's always felt strange that the UK used zircon as a name - we're usually really boring in our codenames

[@dogsnads5634]

What LazerPig has misseed entirely is that Zircon was never built...it was still in design phase. What happened after it was cancelled is whats important... Basically all the UK did then was use the money from Zircon and paid for a US SIGINT satellite. Essentially buying their way into the US programme and becoming a 'shareholder'. That got them tasking rights and access to the wider network, helped the US get more coverage as well.

[@bluemarlin8138]

It seems like everyone’s code names have gone downhill after WWII.

[@ShadowRulah]

​@@bluemarlin8138That's because in WWII you could figure out key details of classified operations by learning their names. "[Meaningless adjective] [meaningless noun]" doesn't make for fun names but they're not giving up details.

[@treesome3979]

@@ShadowRulah I believe there are examples of this being done in WWII, for example the experimental blueprints Maus and Ratte were named after small animals but represented huge vehicles. I’m not sure about the Maus but the Ratte was never completed anyway.

[@sjonnieplayfull5859]

​@@treesome3979Maus had two prototypes, one without turret IIRC. Goliath was a miniature tank with remote control, Berlin was the retreat from Arnhem Wacht am Rhein (guarding the Rhine) was the attack in the Ardennes Weserübung (Weser practicing, with the Weser being a German river) was the attack on Denmark and Norway. Other names were just not saying anything at all: fall Blau, Gelb, Weiss (case blue, yellow, white) or Husky and Dragoon Overlord did give some importance away, and the aquatic part being called Neptune was no hint at all. Bodyguard at the same time was a hint at it protecting something, but what? Epsom, Spring and Goodwood were well camouflaged, but Cobra does sound quite explosive. In the air Big Week was quite a giveaway, just like Thunderclap But it seems that while the Germans were often better at discretely naming operations, the rest of their secrecy often failed. Both the 1940 and 1944 Ardennes offensives were warned about and only worked because the warnings were ignored. Barbarossa had an obvious build-up, everyone and his brother knew about Seelöwe, and Weserübung had in some places mere hours between the German and British landings, while there are no big examples of an Allied operation being spotted far in advance

[@DeathMonkeys]

14:50 You missed the point. Nobody who actually gets a Burner phone thinks that they're not being listened in on, the reason is that when you get a burner you use an alias or false identity to buy it making it no longer linked to your legal identity and thus harder (not impossible) to be used against you.

[@thenecromorpher]

If watching cop shows taught me anything to add onto what you said, buy them with cash so there's very little workable paper trail they (the cops, or whoever) have virtually just a receipt that says someone bought a phone in cash at this time, also a disguise might be needed if there are cameras that work.

[@natelax1367]

The best example was the murder of a real estate agent in canada. The murderers bought a burner 6 months or so before the crime. Didn’t touch it the whole time and bought from a small store. Surveillance footage was long gone and they used it 3 times to call the agent and set up a showing. Still isn’t solved

[@mattstorm360]

@@thenecromorpher Or at least a mask, but i'm sure that would be more suspicious during these times, right?

[@thenecromorpher]

@@mattstorm360 Well it depends, but it might not be as suspicious before COVID hit than nowadays.

[@thenecromorpher]

Meant the opposite, kinda tired.

[@bieberbutzeman5663]

Another brilliant video in just every aspect. If you're looking for more stories about crazy satellite projects that kinda never worked , maybe Project Excalibur, SDI and Edward Teller are worth a look.

[@thomasawl]

‘So what exactly is zircon?’ ‘Zircon deez nu-‘

[@noanswer1864]

I'm not even a UK citizen. I'm an American and I can confirm that if the queen, or Margaret Thacher specifically for some reason after the 80s, shows up and asks anything, we gotta tell them. If they ask us to do something, we gotta do it. Every American keeps a lockbox by the door with a password list, a medium ranged firearm, and a change of clean nondescript clothing in case either should need us for any reason.

[@d3nza482]

That is NOT the intended use of firearms in regard to appearance of representatives of British monarchy and/or government at your door. UN really should abrogate the second and take away all your guns.

[@kazansky22]

@@d3nza482 I’d love to see them try.

[@Melody_Raventress]

Also American, can confirm.

[@nicholaskrell9610]

Hold on. “The US placed a civilian teacher onboard as a distraction.” You mean to tell me that the “zircon” satellite was on the challenger when it exploded? Was that the same mission?

[@mandalorian_guy]

"Allegedly".

[@dogsnads5634]

Zircon was never actually built. It was in the design stage. Challenger was deploying a TDRS-B comms sat and doing experiments.

[@whom382]

@@mandalorian_guy Who are you? Simon Whistler?

[@akillermelon]

@15:12 I can only think of a Sam O'Nella video here... "Than the challenger fucking exploded"

[@southbay5875]

I waited till 23:49 to like the video specifically for the “…and after it had been translated for them, the Americans now knew.” Cheeky fook 😂

[@adamhebert5365]

That skeletor impression was incredible.

[@06colkurtz]

His response to the name Zircon was damaging. He should have said "I can neither confirm nor deny"

[@elloo98]

That would give credibility to the theory of it just being a smokescreen. I would imagine that he'd get questions about classified stuff all the time so he should be somewhat prepared for people asking about it, even if they have surprising ammounts of info on it.

[@06colkurtz]

There is a reason why neither confirm or deny exists. I can neither confirm nor deny what that may be 🥸

[@Wasabiofip]

I feel like that would also be damaging. If he acted a little confused, something like "I'm not sure I'm familiar with that, so I can't comment on it"

[@Shinobubu]

A simple "I don't know". would work.

[@RainbowManification]

Would’ve been better if he just kept a neutral expression and said “Sorry that’s not a program I’m familiar with”

[@nicholaswalsh4462]

The funniest thing of this video is that you spell Boer as Boar, which implies that the British spent several years fighting large pigs.

[@catc8927]

I imagine that, being porcine himself, our illustrious host's spell check is biased toward "boar."

[@tanall5959]

At least it couldn't be any worse than the Aussie Emu Wars.

[@johndor11]

That opening didn’t age well…

[@ThePhiphler]

To add a true conspiratorial spin in the comments: The North English mines were already doomed due to the deindustrialization of Britain long before the mines finally closed due to being noncompetitive and lacking a nearby manufacturing base to make their products relatively more valuable.

[@LeavingGoose046]

How is that conspiratorial? That sounds like highschool economic analysis lmao

[@ByzantineDarkwraith]

doesn't justify brutalizing striking workers and cracking down on workers' rights to organize (among others)

[@JD-wf2hu]

The mines weren't that uncompetitive. Subsidising them would have been cheaper than the costs of making all those people unemployed turned out to be. This was pointed out at the time but ignored.

[@Nick-ue7iw]

You do know that any plan enacted in secret can be considered a conspiracy, correct?

[@Nick-ue7iw]

Except the cost of maintaining the mines was only growing, and eventually that would would have to be opened one way or another.

[@SpacemanSpraggz]

Just leaving a comment to say I was here before the algorithm blesses this channel. Fantastic videos, keep it up!

[@usshill721]

its cool that you have moved from gaming to history videos keep up the good work mate

[@nomoss9600]

We have all been fantastic here

[@neigedeshauteur]

I understand half of what you say, I'm must be french, but what a spirit ! I love the way you edit, the material you use, from the most official-serious-Tatcher thing to the most divers KZbin-subcultures. The Thunderbirds theme on The Falklans War is perfect.

[@cubasfidelcastro]

Asking the channel host, what's your opinion on the alternative theory offered by Wikipedia, that going so aggressively after the fifth episode and the Zircon affair was actually to cover up and distract from the unaired sixth one on secret cabinet committees in the run up to the '87 election as claimed by a Labour MP in '89?

[@jakublulek3261]

You are telling me that commie infested Labour Party and BBC were smearing Conservative government, that effectively fought back against the USSR, even back in 1980s? No, don't tell me, infiltration of BBC and Labour is in lenght elaborated on in the archives of StB and Stasi. Some of the Labour members were on payrole of KGB and StB, StB even bragged about it.

[@michaelcox9855]

Videos like this are exactly why you are my favorite unofficially official historian on KZbin.

[@bandit6272]

"Muh covid" Asides from that, great video

[@randomlyentertaining8287]

Part 6 has never been aired because, knowing the BBC, they probably filmed over that part's tape without realizing it. I do love 23:11. He's caught so off guard. His best course of action would've been to show no reaction and ask what was Zircon.

[@gaelicsmurf8742]

I adore these videos, an absolute joy to (totally not listen to while I'm gaming) watch. Perfect mix of facts, humour and slagging off anyone and everything....... god I love it so much. That queen skit made me miss 2 minutes through laughter, had to rewind and catch up.

[@m00se37]

“And after it was translated, the Americans now knew” Listen we don’t understand why the fuck you put a boot on your car still.

[@mooocowcowcowmooo]

The use of the Thunderbirds in this video is amazing.

[@tomonabudget]

I'm still new to your channel, and am making my way through your videos. This one so far seems like your best work. Just effin awesome content, editing and humour, love it!

[@ahsverkoshkin1249]

Love your channel! You have some really good historical info dressed up in great humor. It's been a joy exploring your work. Thanks so much!

[@Codeman1930]

Great video. I’m curious how you came to your final conclusion and where the information concerning the Challenger came from. Not trying to poke any holes, I’m just genuinely interested.

[@ChucksSEADnDEAD]

The Skynet-4 was supposed to go on a Shuttle but after the Challenger disaster the DoD changed policy to allow uncrewed rockets to perform these missions. Skynet 4B was launched by Ariane rocket in 1988 and Skynet 4A (which suffered delays and was launched after 4B) was launched by Titan-3 in 1990.

[@Codeman1930]

@@ChucksSEADnDEAD thanks that helps out a lot

[@currentcommentor8745]

It's not called DoD in the UK but MOD.

[@xerxeskingofking]

@@currentcommentor8745 the Ministry of Defence is the UK body, but seeing as the satellites were being launched on American owned rockets, so the relevant polices would have been department of defence ones.

[@thehaloscrolls391]

@@ChucksSEADnDEAD wait so zircon wasn’t on the challenger then?

[@briancox2721]

Remember, the point of counter intelligence isn't to make the enemy think what you want them to think. It's to make them do what you want them to do. Excellent theory that the whole thing was a faint.

[@mafiousbj]

Mason´s face at 23:02 must be one of the most priceless moments ever captured on camera

[@tl5606]

It’s a widely reported mater of public record that the US intelligence community provided the UK with significant satellite based support during the Falklands conflict…

[@lesthodson2802]

Why let facts get in the way of a good yankbash?

[@Bingo_Bango_]

It is now clearly known, but part of the point of the video was that Zircon fit into the contemporary and egocentric OSINT narrative that the UK "needed" its own satellites because they couldn't trust US intelligence, which helped misdirect the public and therefore Russia in two different ways: implying weaker trust between the US and UK than was accurate, and implying the UK didn't already have ready access to intelligence. Argentina thought they were the only ones going into Falklands with open eyes... In reality, the US was a major contributor in helping the UK develop an independent and cooperative capacity, and the UK reciprocally shared new advancements in technology from these efforts back to the US, while ALSO maintaining UK access to the US ECHELON intelligence network. This engagement and mutual development is a large part of the Five Eyes.

[@Redbird-dh7mu]

Though, while they did provide data, it just wasn’t the NSA that did it, they actually got the data from NASA. Also, it was worth mentioning that apparently one of the conditions for the help was that the US’s involvement be kept a secret for a long time and that even quite a few high ranking and powerful British government people didn’t even know about the US helping.

[@blackopscw7913]

@@lesthodson2802 Joking?

[@Nmille98]

NASA, for those who don't know, is the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. It is purely Science, research & development, and space programs. It is not an intelligence agency.

[@robertgelley6454]

Just found your videos, and immediately have been binge watching. Hilarious yet informative!

[@MrNegativeable]

If only the British had a population of over 1 million people. If they did have that, Lazerpig would be the youtube diva he deserves to be.

[@MusketMan1997]

After seeing your Pentagon Wars video last year, you had me hooked. As a US serviceman who has a platoon of three Bradley’s, a M1068, and a brand new JLTV, I loved the video and the apparent ease with which you destroyed The Pentagon Wars. Now if I could just get the damned things to work… Think you could do a video on the M113A3 series one day since the US still heavily uses them alongside the Bradley and Abrams? They’re certainly interesting vehicles and need to be explored further so the public understands how atrocious they can sometimes be (think carbon monoxide chamber or self combustible engines due to the tendency to leak Oil and the engine getting hot enough to ignite it).

[@killian9314]

this is ironic because in places like the us the right wing party calls the british right "traitors" for their measures being "too harsh". Also, at least boris is pro nuclear so you win some, lose some.

[@hummerskickass]

What I find strange is people are complaining about getting freedoms back, and governments becoming less authoritarian as they realize it’s not a very popular thing to do.

[@jacobbrada2140]

@@hummerskickass what? like giving people the choice to not get vaccinated and extend a global pandemic because of their retarded Facebook groups. That freedom. I mean fuck it just have no laws and have people be truly free. I should have the right to own an mg42 and continue the holocaust because stopping me would limit my “freedom”. News flash certain actions shouldn’t be allowed if it hurts other people.

[@stormjet814]

@@jacobbrada2140 If everyone gets their 14th anti-death booster shot, perhaps the government will let us go outside again!

[@kilianortmann9979]

God I love your style, great combination of good research, cinematography and absolute mayhem.

[@sheriff0017]

It was the Tornado F.2 that had the terrible radar. The GR.1 had a fine radar - from Texas Instruments. The Tornado F.3 sorted out the issues in the F.2.

[@kieranwalsh2058]

Ah Texas Instruments. Making everything from calculators to radar to javelin missile launchers

[@ethancampbell2422]

The F.2 didn't even have a terrible radar, it didn't have a radar at all, just a concrete/lead ballast jokingly referred as Blue Circle.

[@francescogiuseppearagona1109]

30:14 super funny "the launch was successful" with the video cut just before the Challenger's explosion.

[@TouchableGrass]

First found you on NonCredibleDefense, gotta say it’s always a happy day when you upload.

[@nategray4989]

Is that a channel

[@cameronporter5137]

@@nategray4989 subreddit

[@MrDoggo23]

Holy shit. You made me remember about the Thunderbirds show. Kiddo me loved that shit. Fuck I feel old.

[@daniellarge9784]

I keep rewatching LPs video. Cant help myself.

[@judet2992]

The fact that you called the harrier “One Chonky Boi” is gold.

[@UD503J]

The funny thing is, Zircon fits right in line with American surveillance/reconnaissance program names (Onyx, Rhyolite, Argon are other element/mineral-derived naming schemes). Part of me wonders if it was picked intentionally to hint at the partnership with the NRO/NSA. When I saw the title of the video when it was recommended, I was sure this was actually a Trevor Paglen story, or something of the like, because Zircon sounds like an NRO codename.

[@gamersunite7968]

Wouldn't shock me if NRO was in on it. GCHQ and NSA/NRO/CIA are all relatively close through FIVE EYES. NRO would've found out one way or the other that a new satellite was over Russia.

[@CognitiveGear]

Recently discovered this channel, I hope the algorithm blesses it. Great conversational style, good research, and very strong meme game. Hope to see more.

[@bneskylights1152]

I always like to go back to pandemic time videos for new channels I find. Usually you wind find something like the first 2 minutes of this video which tells you everything you need to know about the person and you can move on.

[@mitchconner403]

😂 “if someone disagrees with me on anything then I immediately dehumanize that person. I am always correct and nobody else has ever been correct” - you

[@joez.2794]

Yup, was a good reminder why I wasn't subscribed.

[@mitchconner403]

@@joez.2794 God like a 12 year old child threatening to run away. Sure don’t subscribe, nobody cares if you are subscribed or not. You just want to throw a little tantrum

[@VitaeLibra]

​@@joez.2794Antivaxxers will straight up admit they judge someone's entire character based on a one of the most common opinions people could have during that period and they insist they aren't the paranoid schizophrenic conspiracy theorists here

[@sr7129]

Did NOT see the Challenger plot twist coming. Love this channel

[@PastorOfMuppets91]

Your Skeletor imitation was quite decent, actually XD

[@deplorabledegenerate2630]

I miss when people from Portland at least tried to hide that they were communists. Though the trousers kind of gave it away.

[@tacticalministries3508]

When he said "I'm not allowed to talk to you about that I'm afraid" after that pause I legitimately thought it was something from a comedy sketch. His facial reaction combined with the whispering and the pause just seemed so funny it couldn't have been real

[@Corristo89]

15:52 Burner phones don't encrypt your calls and texts. The reason they're used is because your number isn't connected to your name or any form of personal details. Once the phone/number in question is deemed as "too hot", you throw it away. The trail would end at that point and you can continue with another burner phone.

[@jtroopa]

Okay sure, launched a regular satellite disguised as the spy sat disguised as a regular satellite, onboard the- Oh. Oh. Oh.

[@Sierra0052]

I'm so damn glad to have found this channel.

[@brennamohagen1818]

I've been bingeing your videos for the past few days and you are very funny. Watching the videos upsidedown makes them even funnier!

[@ghoost8943]

?

[@somerandomdude6977]

Holy hell the use of the Thunderbirds intro for the Falklands war part takes me way back Awesome

[@DanY-mj4gl]

as a russian who watches your videos... around a 1-2 years after their release i do in fact enjoy your russian accent imitation.

[@SenorGato237]

The Doughnut: when your military budget can't afford corners. *grins in five-cornered Yankee smugness*

[@sissyspaceship]

The fucking Falklands War intro is incredible.

[@Dumbed_Down]

That skeletor impression was amazing

[@impcec6734]

The Falklands War joke went right over my head, but I was glad to be involved.

[@TrashBinCat]

You are so good at editing these. Really fuckin funny and informative!

[@briantomcollins]

Just found this channel. This was f**kin' halarious... and 30+ mins? Well that's just a bonus.

[@calebdodds3292]

Dude! Love your content, keep making videos, I’ll watch every single one

[@dasgelbevomei4739]

Dude, not only are your videos top tier content - this shit channels my attention better than Adderall ever did.

[@cowetareserve]

You’re a fucking treasure to History Tubing. Please never stop making videos. I’m here until the end buddy!

[@dwavenminer]

10:52 funfact: the Egyptian secret service did actually base itself off the teachings of the Ian Flemming books, to the point they sent over a agent to covertly buy and smuggle the books out of London...the world is really weird sometimes...

[@Farmsy__]

You earned a sub just off the 'Game Theory' Joke, I thought I was the only idiot who still made that damn joke :D