Thunder Cloud (read description)~ Original song by Bridget Beenanti

‘Thunder Cloud”
Original Song By Bridget Beenanti
Copyright Beenanti LLC 2025
I wasn’t sure if I should post this one and held it back. I finally decided to post it. Between fighting illness and sadness, feeling unseen and less, I know I’m not the only one who feels that way.
For one thing, telling someone you’re lonely almost feels silly and childlike. In fact it’s almost rude. Someone is actively spending time with you and you announce that you’re lonely. Real nice. But loneliness isn’t just the absence of people, because I do have people who I know love me, and I love them. When I say I’m lonely, it’s the existential rudderless feeling of being lost. It feels like a space adjacent to depression. My loneliness is not quite as all consuming as depression, but it has some of the familiar footholds. I haven’t found the path out of loneliness yet. I’m not sure what it looks like, and honestly I don’t know if it exists. I imagine a degree of loneliness is part of being human. Temporary loneliness can come from making decisions that ultimately lead to healthy growth, like saying goodbye to a city you love and starting over in a new city where opportunities are better. My insidious, chronic loneliness, though, that’s probably thanks to my own self-imposed isolation, due to being sensitive and so deeply hurt in this world by others. It’s scary to put yourself out there and making sure your voice is the only one to grapple with can feel a lot safer. This world, so vast and covered in millions of souls, often proves to be only the home of tears and emptiness and heartache…where a persons words or time doesn’t matter and blown off by others. Remember, no one is “Too Busy” it is where you fit in their priorities.
I often wonder if perhaps I need to let other people in, to see my raw self. I wonder if I open myself up, reveal all my bruises and secrets and desires, if I will be loved and not hurt. Then I wonder, does it even matter? Shouldn’t I just love myself and let the rest follow suit? I wonder if i’ll always be searching for the love of myself. . So as I seek to find the root of this loneliness, I learn about my capabilities as a lonely soul. I grow independently of others, breathe in the beauty of my natural talents, and learn to love others the way I want to be loved. I am always discovering new things about myself, and hope that one day in the future, there will be even more for someone to love. I believe in loneliness and its ability to strengthen one as a whole. I’m proud I don’t fit in others molds, I don’t mimic others and Idon’t need false social media popularity. I’m proud I’m sensitive and have empathy and pure caring for other human beings.
I am taking a break to rest and continue to get well but I wanted to no longer hold this back.
Blessings and Love,
Bridget❤️