Time To Decide If People Are WRONG Or NOT

[@Vashtappening33]

In the first story, I aspire to meet someone like Chrissy or at least like her bf. Their loyalty is next level. Her bf or husband acknowledged his financial problems and I think it was sweet that he wants to be financially stable for their future.

[@sonadowfangirl30869]

And not only that, but it also sounds like they waited until they were financially stable before tying the knot. So not only are they marrying out of love, they're being smart about it, too. That OP really has no idea what she's talking about.

[@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066]

I didn't have my first child until age 29, my last at 37! Ladies don't have to hurry up and settle with someone in their early 20's who might not be right, just to be able to have children! 7 years seems like a long time to figure out how solid a relationship is and see if it'll last.... But children are friggin permanent for LIFE! Make damn sure you absolutely KNOW the person you choose to create a permanent human life with!!!!

[@omikatiwari747]

The "friend" was basically saying throw away your seven precious years where you grew with this person you understand and love, just because "stability". Mature and wise people know that even though stability and money is an important part, a marriage where the partners are ready to accept the present and work towards future together, will always last longer and in love.....

[@khushiya5747]

it sounded like a rage bait because op typed the groom's speech and it was obvio she is wrong.

[@arjuscarlet55555]

That kind of love is rare😭😭😭😭😭

[@lindah3803]

Breast feeding: When I worked at a restaurant a mom,dad,infant,2little kids were sat in my section. When I greeted them they asked to be moved to a booth at the back because mom breast feeds. Moved them to our most private table. When I brought their food,baby was eating. Mom started to grab the blanket to cover, I told her to not worry, she's fine taking care of the baby. No one else but me would be coming back here. Left their food, finished taking care of them. When they left her hubby told me this was the 1st time they were able to enjoy dinner out,without any complications. I just smiled and told him I was glad they enjoyed themselves, and to come again. I would be happy to take care of them anytime.

[@beckyhall7811]

I was at a restaurant nursing my 1 month daughter. While nursing my daughter this older lady, who I didn’t know, stopped eating and told me how rude I was because this is a place where people come to eat and not see peoples boobs. I asked why my daughter couldn’t eat if she was able to eat and if it was place to eat at then why couldn’t my daughter. I was also told how wrong it was to not pump and use a bottle instead of exposing myself in public. And that she was going to pray for me to feed my baby the right way. Because she told me she was going to pray for me I decided to bring up religion. I asked if Mary had a breast pump and bottle when she fed Jesus? Then said doubt it walked away. I live in Arizona and had 2 of my 3 babies during the dead heat of summer so I didn’t use a blanket or cover. It’s way to damn hot to cover up when it’s over 100 degrees outside.

[@lindah3803]

@@beckyhall7811 It's a pity that people have come to believe that they have a right to dictate how a person lives. Granted it has always been this way. Today it's so much worse. I go by the thought that I live my way, my way of life doesn't impede on anyone's lifestyle. I don't care about their lifestyle or beliefs. The only time I do care is if someone is being abused or mistreated. If I can help the victim, I will.

[@beckyhall7811]

@@lindah3803 I agree completely!

[@hikiri3813]

All very good reasons. Older lady should’ve acknowledged that you didn’t have other options and sucked it

[@jumafaro]

I was a server as well, and I was almost the AH one day. I walked into a table to drop the food, and a woman was breastfeeding. I was about to ask her to cover, but you know when your guardian angel doesn't let you say something stupid? I went back to the station feeling like I was the meanest person on earth. I am glad I didn't say a word.

[@dimitritucker1077]

First story--I think it's really sweet that Chrissy and her boyfriend waited for seven years to get married. A wedding and honeymoon are both expensive, and being financially prepared for that is very mature. I have a friend who has been with his girlfriend since high school, and they haven't gotten married yet due to finances, COVID, and life-goal changes. (We're all in our thirties now.) My friend is working towards his degree, and his girlfriend is supporting him through it. As long as the couple is happy, then what else matters?

[@elizabethburns-gundel1052]

It took my husband and I 6 years to get married. I stood by him a couple years in when he lost his job, and he stood by me when I went through a mental health crisis. Everybody goes through shit -- who you go through it with is important.

[@jaccat4336]

My parents waited 3 years to get married but then waited another 5 years to have me. Wanted to be fully stable financially. People made comments about waiting too long to have kids. Worked out great for me though. They were stable enough in jobs to take time off to spend with me. Plus both grandparents happened to up for retirement shortly before I was born so I got to see them a lot too.

[@Rebelmutt507]

Plus you don't truly know anyone until you've known them for 7 years and even the

[@raquelvelocity]

😊

[@RebekahVee]

My mum told me a story about when my sister was a baby. They had to go to a family funeral and my sister was crying and making a bunch of noise so my mum snuck to the back of the church to breastfeed her. Apparently my sister continued to make a ton of noise, smacking and slurping while she ate, in a nice echoing church. My mother was mortified but there was no where else to take her, other than outside in the rain so she continued to feed her during the funeral. After the service, multiple people went up to my mum and told her how nice it was to have a bit of levity during a sad day and to also have the next generation there after the death of the older generation. No one sexualised my mum breasts. No one was upset by the crying baby or the slurping baby. They acknowledged the difficulties that come with a new baby and told my mum she was doing a good job. When will we go back to those times?

[@bhart3321]

It's weird that anyone sexualizes breastfeeding. Why it's just mother tending to her child. The weird thing is a disturbing number of these breastfeeding outrage stories are WOMEN being offended, like wtaf?!

[@me2ontube]

I think breastfeeding should be done privately n I see nothing sexual about it - but in that case I wouldn't fault her

[@sakuraryuji01]

@@me2ontube a lot of business and states are too cheap to be willing to provide you a private bathroom or room designated for breastfeeding. My uni has 3 designated breastfeeding stations on campus. We can do so much better. Not everyone feels formula is for them and is formula even an option if the same places that are too cheep to provide private facilities for breastfeeding also lack accessible water fountains

[@Crowski]

I didn’t know those times existed…

[@mariaf2021]

@@me2ontube Privately? ok you know what this mean that breastfeeding mum should stay at home for 5 months at least because there no private designated areas for breastfeeding in most cases. When your partner at work and you still need to go and do a shopping there are no option left for you. You breastfeed on demand and it could be 10 times per 24 hours. You have crying baby, shopping to do, probably slept only few hours in past few days and your breasts are hurting like hell but you need to find private area to breastfeed to make it less uncomfortable for you...lol...not happening sorry. Breastfeed ladies as much as you want whenever you want - for a healthy child and mum benefit.

[@audreygibson4780]

I like how she calls it a "proper" job. She's gunna need those ppl at target and walmart to keep the wine section stocked when she's trapped in a loveless marriage bc she's shallow as hell.

[@edelleaa]

yeah i'm honestly suspecting this woman probably doesn't have a "proper" job or a degree in anything herself.

[@claudiakarl7888]

@@edelleaa That’s what she needs her future husband for.

[@ktwhimsy6946]

Best comment award 🥇🤗😆

[@SonjaElizabethTeal]

Love this comment.

[@moustachmallow559]

Imagine her fiancée losing her job due to some crisis and having to work at a McDowell's. Marriage over.

[@majesticmeerkat921]

For the cross stitch story, I did that for one of my best friends. I am also low income and thought it was a nice way to give my friend a heartfelt item commemorating such an important day. I dyed the fabric myself, altered the pattern to include their names and wedding date, added beadwork, and framed it. I even added a fabric border and customized it to their wedding colors and theme. (It was a Halloween wedding and their colors were black and purple.) She loved it! They are both artists and have a whole wall dedicated to their friends' artwork and it is included, which makes me very happy. The important thing for her was having me there, as it should be. I was super happy I was able to go, because I am also disabled and traveling is very hard. Luckily, the wedding happened when I was the healthiest I've been in several years. I was so happy to see her and our other close friends. That is what weddings are really about--celebrating those closest to you.

[@bellahontas510]

You sounding a very thoughtful friend. I'm sure it was beautiful

[@AlissaSss23]

What a beautiful story of friendship, kindness, respect and love ❤️

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

YES That's a friend.

[@galaxyhearts9778]

ShellHealth this is so beautiful, you are such a sweet friend. I wish I had a friend like you

[@MyLifeMyWay]

A friend made one for my husband and I. It was wonderful and very meaningful to us, and it still sits in our entry way. I’m a cross stitcher myself and I know full well she put way more hours into that than I would have ever asked for. Both my mom and his grandmother made us quilts for our bed and we rotate those both out as well. It is never the cost that matters, but let’s be honest, crafting isn’t a cheap hobby anyways, it’s the thought and love they put into creating something for us. ❤

[@BreezyDaBaddest]

The friend that did the needle work was so sweet. That’s the kind of gift I’d cherish my whole life

[@rebel1612]

It is such a thoughtful and heirloom worthy gift and for the bride to demand a gift from a friend.

[@finalfight505]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/sH2ai4SXnb5jl8k Finally it's here.

[@bren6967]

A coworker of mine gave us a handmade Christmas ornament of a bride and groom. It was during the time when dough ornaments were the thing and the bride and groom ornament was made of dough. Husband and I both loved it and it was placed on the tree in a special place. Well after 20 years it started breaking down so I wrapped in tissue, placed it in a baggie, and placed it back in its original box. Now every Christmas when we decorate the tree the ornament is brought out and we reminisce about our wedding and all that has followed while sipping a cup of spiked eggnog. The ornament is over 40 years old and still brings tears to our eyes. If anyone knows how to restore or stabilize a dough ornament, please reply with the process. Beautiful handmade items can be the most precious gifts every given. Anyone who discounts them are complete and total idiots.

[@mindyschocolate]

Ditto. Handmade is way better than some manufactured crap.

[@AlexandriaSWest]

Right? The entitlement that people have is insane. Lots of people get married all around the world, every single day, its not a huge achievement that makes you so special that you deserve loads of gifts. When I had my son I made a baby registry so that I would get the discount, but I did not have a shower or do announcements with the registry info or any of that because my family is well off and I thought it would be tacky. People ended up sending me gifts anyway and I was so thankful and surprised by their generosity! I can't imagine demanding gifts for anything, ever. I hope she ditches the bride altogether and sells the cross stitch on eBay or Etsy instead.

[@hollz2267]

We went to a wedding a few weeks ago. I do glass painting and painted a large vase with tree, the couples initials and their wedding date on it. They both couldn't stop thanking me and my partner, they said it was incredibly thoughtful and loved how personal it was. A gift is supposed to be given because you want to give it, not demanded!

[@hereisthefullvid8934]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/sH2ai4SXnb5jl8k Finally it's here

[@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066]

Sounds like a very beautiful, personal, thoughtful and one of a kind gift! I have a few friends that are very talented artists of all types of medias and have been honored to receive anything they've lent their talents to as a gift! I have a couple of cousins who do such amazing work, I can't afford to commission them for personal pieces, so a gift is just incredible!

[@mycreativeheart4159]

@@hereisthefullvid8934 AYTA?... YES! ABSOLUTELY! YOU ARE!!

[@Poppy28503]

Honestly the only reason to have a registry is to avoid getting identical items from different people. If you give a unique, one of a kind item it should always be welcome.

[@karencotlar2023]

30 years later, our favorite wedding gift has always been the real Amish quilt (She’s from Philadelphia) my maid of honor got us. She made it extra special by cross stitching our names and wedding date in the corner herself. That was way more meaningful than anything that could have ever come from a registry.

[@LuxurySkeezy]

The first story seriously makes me wanna cry. That is what’s wrong with this world, people aren’t together for love they’re together for convenience/status. I’m so sorry that some people just obviously have never felt genuine, unconditional love from someone else who feels like the literal other part of their soul.

[@rachelmaddowswife8713]

I mean, many people want to get married in order to build a life with someone that includes raising children outside of poverty, which these days takes two middle class incomes. If that's your near-term goal and the person you're dating repeatedly can't hold down a minimum wage job, it doesn't make you a bad person to realize that you're not compatible and move on. If you personally have a trust fund or a super high paying job and don't mind carrying the entire load by yourself, that's totally fine, but most people aren't blessed to have that as an option. That said, the OP waited until AFTER this man got a college degree, a good job, and proposed, so whatever she thought about the guy in his past no longer applies. I think what happened is that OP enjoyed comparing herself favorably to this friend ("At least my boyfriend has a better job than hers!" "I'm sure I'll get married before my loser friend!"), and it made her feel insecure that the friend was suddenly hitting certain milestones faster. This happens frequently when the "fat friend" in a friend group loses weight. Insecure thinner friends who used to be nice to them are suddenly threatened by the change in dynamic.

[@M_SC]

That woman is profoundly in the patriarchy. Really believes in those values of hierarchy and competing for mates like deer. She shouldn’t mate with low status buck because higher status buck has bigger horns, and provides for his woman. It’s so twisted. I’m glad it’s alien to so many of us

[@M_SC]

@@rachelmaddowswife8713yes, but that’s another issue. And there’s no need to have babies in your 20s, in my circle that’s weirdly young. I mean do it if you like and have your life organized the way you want for it, but as you said for a lot of us we feel we need so much money now it takes until you’re 30.

[@rachelmaddowswife8713]

@@M_SC If you want to have a baby at 30, that requires getting your shit together in your 20's. You can't just wake up in your 30's with no education, no job, no savings, living with parents or roommates, and instantaneously be in a good place to have a kid.

[@OneDoodlingBug]

​@@rachelmaddowswife8713 idk i feel like u missed their point tbh.

[@tats763]

OMG the person who didn't appreciate a hand sewn gift?!? My friend cross stitched this gorgeous pattern, with a beautiful quote, and actually had to pull stitches and redo the date because WE changed the date. I was, and still am, touched by her thoughtfulness and the effort and time she put into it. Then she goes and somehow tops herself by crocheting the most gorgeous afghans for each of my kids as a baby shower gift. Worth 100x her weight in gold.

[@berthaadamson1225]

💯 The sentimental value is incalculable but practically speaking a piece with that pattern would cost hundreds if custom ordered.

[@sydneyyoung7352]

Imagine you're expecting a $200 gift off your registry. The gift giver makes $10/hr. That's 20h of their time your gift cost them. A 15"x20" cross stitch piece probably far exceeded that 20h, depending on how much whitespace, if any, the piece included. There, sis, you got an extremely high-value gift. The nerve of some people.... I knit, my sister embroiders, and my friend cross-stitches. We understand the value of hand-made.

[@beckeos]

Oh yeah I do embroidery and it’s probably closer to 40 tbh - guess at least she could remove the date and sell it for a fair bit probably now

[@crazycatlady1425]

She should send a bill to the bride

[@sabrinagilbert7095]

I plan on cross stitching something for a friend's wedding... luckily there wedding is far enough out I can! Because it takes so much time and effort! That story made me want to cry! That is my friends wedding gift

[@sydneyyoung7352]

@@sabrinagilbert7095 if I were getting married, I'd invite you ;)

[@melissadunton3534]

I crochet, and I’m not good with managing my time. So, even though i’m not an expert i do know how long it takes...how much care it requires and god forbid you mess up ONE stitch..you have to rip it out and redo an entire row...if you catch it soon enough. Sometimes you don’t see it until you hold up a half done project and then have to rip out half of what you’ve done and start over. So, for anyone to take their time, energy and dedication to make you a gift from the heart deserves your thanks....eternal appreciation and personally, I’d show it off to literally everyone and gush about the gift. But then again, i’m weird like that.. LoL

[@michellecaraway3807]

I attended a college friend's out of state wedding, and had left the card with wedding gift check in the hotel room. I figured I would just send the card once I got back home. I had the envelope addressed with a stamp, in my work bag on Monday morning, but kept forgetting to get to a mailbox during my public transportation commute to work. Cue to that Thursday (5 days after the wedding), the bride called me during work hours, to ask where her gift was. I was appalled. I explained the situation, that I had it in my work bag ready to be mailed, but just kept trying to get to a mailbox during my commute. She pretty much said she expected the card ASAP. I hung up the phone, shredded the card and check and never mailed it.

[@jerryloper3688]

The I Corinthians cross stitch sampler is probably worth more than most of the gifts anyone else bought the bride. Handmade cross stitching is something that will look more beautiful as time goes by and anyone who spends the time to do this one like this for a gift, just grab them and give them a bear hug when they present it to you. This is a one in a thousand gift, at the least.

[@hereisthefullvid8934]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/sH2ai4SXnb5jl8k Finally it's here

[@Mama_Bear524]

Worth more because it’s priceless. That bridezilla was trash

[@sdube001]

Just the materials alone on that were expensive. Silk threads and linen aren't exactly the cheap stuff. Add in time spent and that's probably the most expensive gift there.

[@linabasilisk1955]

@@sdube001 Yeah, and linen can be a real bugger to work with. That gift was made with thought and love. It is an heirloom piece. I'm willing to bet that most items on the registry are not heirloom pieces and someday will be sold at a garage sale. My grandmother has made several things for me, some quilted, some cross stitched, and I treasure them. I know she thought of me as she made them and they are beautiful. I made a cross stitched piece for my sister (not on linen, I'm not that good yet) and I thought about here with every stitch I made. I am currently, and very slowly, working on a piece of my own design for my brother and his wife. I did one piece for them and another for their first child already. I know they appreciate them. I would also add that the bride in the case in question was being just plain greedy, which is very tacky. I hope the cross stitcher can make some better friends that aren't just trying to use her.

[@JustMyOwnSelfToo]

Also - the 1 Corinthians scripture is the well-known "love" chapter 13 verses 4-8. How could the bride read this, want this, and then behave in the absolutely opposite way?! "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth."

[@composing-chaos]

When my first marriage split up, I had someone tell me to go for the money the next time around. For context, my ex and I made enough money, but we’re not on the same page about managing finances, part of the reason for the eventual split. My second husband was not in the same educationally or job experience wide. He went for his BA while I got my masters. I stood beside him through his choice to change careers and he helped me through the loss of my father, co-parented our children with their father, and is now 20 years in with me and enjoying the perks of a grandchild. He is my best friend and I fall more in love with him everyday. We are financially comfortable but don’t make as much as I did with my ex. I went for love and it has increased my joy everyday.

[@HollieAndApollo]

I love this!!! Been with my husband for 15 years and I completely agree with you!!!

[@signeheiberg]

The embroidery is a piece of art! It would probably be the most expensive gift she got... its not just the cost of materials and framing, but also the hours she spend working on it. She probably spend 100+ hours making it. That adds up, and would probably be more 1000$ even if you calculated with minimum wages

[@MsSwap2009]

Bride is bitch and AH. and totally manipulative. Yes friend could sell the embroidery and by a bride some cheap present. it would be the best solution, as frendship is dead at the end.

[@michellenorwick4956]

Also your time is worth a lot, WOW!

[@YoMommazNUTZ]

Okay, for the 1st story. I met my husband when he was living on his cousin's sofa, without a job no less! We married, with a very cheap but nice wedding, within 7 months and tomorrow is our 19th anniversary from the day we married! We struggled in the beginning but it was worth it we now have a comfortable life 5 kids nice home and are still madly in love!!

[@truthseeker9249]

You go girl. We've been together over a year and we're both 19 about to be 20. We knew we were soulmates from the very beginning. We shared our first kiss, became official and said "I love you" on our first date. 3 months into our relationship we got matching promise rings and we just got brand new ones a few weeks ago. We want to get married and we really want children. The only thing holding us back is money. If he was financially stable he would propose right this second and we would be married next year. But he said 3-4 years into our relationship he would propose. He's putting himself under so much pressure to get financially stable. But I've told him I don't need a fancy wedding or even a fancy ring. I just need him and an officiant. I'll pay for my own dresses. I refuse college or any school. I'm learning disabled and school is just not good for me. I'm content with working hard at 2 jobs to support my family and get us insurance if we need it. And god forbid something happens where he loses his job, I'll have money from both my jobs to get us through. I just want our happily ever after.

[@GenXfrom75]

Happy anniversary 🥳 My husband and I got married at the courthouse, our "audience" were people there for traffic court! Lol ... We celebrate 18 years of marriage on August 25!

[@Ericasentertainments]

@@truthseeker9249 I met my husband when I was 20 he was 22 a year later we were married a courthouse wedding. This December makes 18 years that we’ve been married complete with a 17-year-old that will be graduating 2023. Our finances are now good and plentiful! We’re considering renewing our vows when we hit 20 years. I don’t think there is ever a “right time to marry someone when you know you know and finances will not stop you either!

[@truthseeker9249]

@@Ericasentertainments That's right! Now if only I could get him on the same page. But in all seriousness, if a miracle happened, like he won the lottery and had the money to make all his dreams come true it would be interesting to see what he would do. If he ever won the lottery he has said he would give 10 million to his parents so they can fulfill their dreams of a comfortable life, then he'd give 10 million to his Nan so she can keep her house. The rest of it he says would set us for life. He could pay to go to college or meteorology school and finally become the meteorologist he's always wanted to be. And maybe then and only then would he propose to me. Cause with that money we could also afford to get our own place. But that's assuming miracles can happen to people like us. I agree that there will never be a right time and if h keeps letting money be the reason then we will never get married. Then we won't build our family the way we want. I don't want to wait until I'm 30 to give birth to our first child. If anything I want to be giving birth to our 2nd or third child when I'm 30.

[@grammasscotsgirl]

When we got married, I had a few people say similar things about my guy - and he had people say similar things about me to him. We ignored them and got married anyways. We were broke for a lot of years. Put $5 on the power bill (because they can't cut you off if you made attempts) while paying the heating - and then the next month, paying the power while putting $5 on heating. Growing our own food because we couldn't afford to buy food. Walking to work or school because there was no public transportation and we only had $10 to last us an entire month. Times when he would dig around and find black electrical tape and we would tape up our shoes because we literally could not afford to buy new shoes. I remember though, on our 5th anniversary. I was walking to uni every day and on the way, I would stop and pick up every returnable bottle or can and at the end of the week, I would take them in and get refunds, then take that money and go to the jeweler who had set aside a wedding band for me (the husband never had a wedding band because we couldn't afford it.) They agreed to allow me 6 months to pay for this $150 wedding band. Then on the day of our 5th anniversary, I went in, so proud that I was able to make the final payment in time and get that ring! I gave it to him that night over the supper we made together. And he gave me a small anniversary band - and told me "Every time I went out on a job, if I saw bottles or cans on the road, I'd stop and pick them up and return them for the refund. I've had this band sitting at the jewelers for six months making payments on it!" We still laugh about it - and did go back to the jewelers and told them "THANK YOU!" and the guy was shocked because he didn't realize these two poor people were married to each other! But here we are, celebrated out 33rd anniversary this past spring. The husband started his own business and has 5 employees, several big contracts, we have zero debt, our house and vehicles are paid for, we've saved enough for our son to either have a nice down payment on his own house or attend university worry free AND give ourselves a nice retirement (which the husband is looking at within the next couple years) while those who tried to tell us to "look at financial security" are the ones struggling, not able to retire because they divorced and lost 50% of everything they had (both the guys and the gals) or lost everything due to job loss and bankruptcy. Out of all our "friends" from that time period, there are only 3 of us couples still together and can't see our lives without our other half.

[@angelagallant5887]

The last story about the cross stitch was heartbreaking. That bride needs to get her materialistic head out of her butt. The friend spent hours on that piece guaranteed while her other friends just clicked a button on Amazon (or whatever store website). I did a piece a while back for a couple. It was 18144 tiny little “x”s and took about four months. The most valuable thing someone can gift you is their time!

[@sydneyyoung7352]

I knit, and adding up the number of stitches in a piece always astounds me! I admire cross-stitch, though. My friend does beautiful pieces with zero white space, and they look like paintings.

[@purplefeairie07]

She should her an invoice if it didn't count as a gift.

[@aliciashanks5239]

I would be in tears; that bride "friend" is so cruel!

[@jessn.3851]

I used to do cross stitch, but never with silk and linen has tinier squares than regular material. Cross stitch takes a long amount of time and that poor woman was only mentioning cost for materials and not the huge amount of labor that went into the final product.

[@dmc9851]

As a fellow cross stitcher I agree with you totally!! I personally find linen a little more difficult and the price of silk thread ? Then the time and energy n love that goes into each stitch plus getting it framed !! I have a few words for the bride believe me

[@haz.fellie]

Literally crying here. My daughter is starting school this year. We live in Idaho. It was illegal to breastfeed uncovered here until shortly after she was born. I was berated so much that I stopped going into public with my daughter until she fell onto a schedule and was more predictable. I really appreciate all the support that thread got.

[@jewels964]

That sad you had to do that bc of others. And bc of stupid people sexualizing breastfeeding... I'm truly sorry for your experience!

[@pamelaspain1602]

I’m questioning why his sister feeding her baby the natural way is discomforting to him? Maybe he needs to take a long look at himself to find out what his problem is

[@bostonpianoman]

I’m sorry about Idaho.

[@FirstnameLastnames]

That's so terrible, I am so sorry! ❤ If it helps give you hope: some places are starting to have special Breastfeeding Rooms w a sink in them for nursing moms! I hope more places will adopt them soon so women can feel safe and protected from harassment by strangers while breastfeeding in public places!

[@cosmicorder2]

Darn it, Idaho! DAMN YOU!

[@baileyross8279]

I was with my husband almost 7 years before marrying. We wanted to live together for a good amount of time, adopt a dog, and save for our dream wedding. We were already committed, and just wanted to afford a good celebration to see all our family and friends

[@sweethippy26]

Same here.. except lol we waited till our 11 anniversary together to get married on.. 😆

[@amandalupacchino6728]

This is legitimately the exact same thing as me and my fiancé. We are getting married on our 8th anniversary

[@NSUDemon14]

My husband and I were together for five before he proposed. He’d had a previous marriage in which the wife was a bully to him for seventeen years, so he was adamant that he’d never get married again in case I did a complete 180 on him (which is a valid concern to have and I never faulted him on it). I was mostly content to live as his girlfriend for the rest of our lives as long as it meant we were together. (I say “mostly” because there was still a small part of me I tried to keep hidden that wanted us to get married.) There came a night when a switch in him flipped. His ex was spreading a rumor about him that I knew wasn’t true, and I expressed that I was going to love him no matter what. Nothing this woman said was ever going to change my mind. The next day, he proposed. He knew I meant what I said, and he was willing to take that next step. We got married almost a year later. In my opinion, it doesn’t matter how many years it takes to get there-or even if it gets there at all. Finances don’t matter. Circumstances don’t matter. The Beatles were definitely right when they sang the words, “Love is all you need.”

[@LazyIRanch]

I think all couples should adopt a pet together before marriage, and especially before having kids! It helps you see who the other person is when it comes to caring for another life. If you walk in and see your mate carefully preparing pet food and talking to the pet as a beloved child, that's a keeper! 🐕😻💕

[@ReesieandLee]

Same! 4 years of him going to school and us living without electricity some days, then he got his degree, worked his ass off and we have traveled the world. Now is been 35 years we spend most of our time at home. It’s been an excellent ride!

[@denacrescini1990]

If someone would have made me a cross stich like that as a wedding gift and worked on it for MONTHS before I got married I would have CRIED when I got it as a gift! I can not believe people these days!

[@finalfight505]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/sH2ai4SXnb5jl8k Finally it's here.

[@jessn.3851]

Especially considering that it had silk thread and linen material, which I've never worked with, that's impressive. That piece is worth hundreds of dollars at the least.

[@ShannaHart-PaintoPolish]

One of my friends did this for me and I did cry. So thoughtful and special 💕

[@ahoward3503]

My great aunt made my mother, and all of the women in the family, a hand knitted afghan when they got engaged. My mom was one of the last of her cousins to get married, and while she was still single my great aunt actually got "impatient" and joked with my mom "Well, I am not sure if you will be getting married, but I want to still give you your blanket! ". My mom was almost 28 and at the time that was fairly old to not be married, everyone else was married by 25 or so. She basically said that she wasn't sure if she would be around by the time mom met someone, and wanted to make sure she had it even still. Well it was a good thing she did that because a few months later she passed away. Funny enough it was a little while after she passed away that mom met my dad, it was almost like she willed it upon my mom when she gave her that afghan. My parents have been together 35 years and we still have Great Aunt Virginia's afghan, and it is one of my mom's most treasured possessions. A hand made gift to me means the world, and I would be so honored and blessed if someone took their time to create something for me out of the kindness of their heart.

[@jenniferwilliams9548]

@@ahoward3503 Awwwwee!!!! Beautiful story, thank you for sharing 💜😘😀

[@dawng.6497]

Yaaaaaaay for mothers feeding their children as nature intended! I’m so glad I did even though it was 43 years ago…..I did feel shy but I covered my chest for my own comfort and he was perfectly content with it. Skip to now and my great granddaughter was breast fed so naturally and effortlessly we barely noticed. Now that is true progress🥰🥰🥰❤️🇨🇦

[@slsthewriter1299]

Here is the thing about the first story that absolutely sent me up the wall. 1) Notice that TAs are NOT GIRLFRIEND AND BOYFRIEND, THEY ARE TWO GIRLFRIENDS. Which would require a gay marriage. And as a lesbian myself, I do not understand how they have the motherfcking *gall* to berate someone for marrying for love when we didn't have that fcking chance to marry *at all* until very, very recently. (Marry officially under the court of law, anyway.) Like?? Are you kidding me?! Sit. Down. And appreciate a marriage of love rather than convenience. It's a rare thing in general, straight or not (but, arguably more common with straight people since…well, lgbtq people are finally able to just marry already lol). It honestly just irritated me so much, especially since one of the reddit comments didn't notice that they were girlfriends. Lol.

[@cristela4034]

Didn't noticed that, but I think it must have been a mistake by OP, cause I find hard to believe that someone that views marriage in such a materialist and pragmatic way would marry someone that she can't have kids with, unless her "fiance" is super rich and she doesn't want kids.

[@JoyceTheTuffPuff]

​​@@cristela4034 I saw the story on Reddit and it wasn't a mistake. The OP added an edit because so many people were ignoring the fact that it was a lesbian relationship when referring to them. Edit: my mistake, I went to check on the story again and apparently there's no edits. Weird but I vividly remember when the story was new that the OP added the edit I mentioned before plus more. Maybe she deleted them? I also checked the comments and OP really just digs herself into a deeper hole by not taking any accountability.

[@slsthewriter1299]

@@cristela4034 A lot of gay/lesbian people do want kids. Either through adoption or surrogate. But also, to the main point, there's millions of people out there. It's irritating, but there are *a lot* of materialistic people in the community. Especially if they aren't old enough to realize how much of a struggle it was to just be gay. There's a lot who don't have that background in that. I certainly don't know the struggle since I'm Gen Z, and I've been pretty lucky, but I'm also self-aware and have never been materialistic in the slightest. Lol Edit: Also, there's a lot in the community that do marry for convenience, like if they're both aro/ace and they just want the benefits. Which is perfectly fine as long as they don't degrade others for marrying because of love. Lol

[@cristela4034]

@@JoyceTheTuffPuff Well, that just makes her a even more awful person for dissing marriages for love, considering people had to fight for gay marriage to be able to marry the one they loved no matter the gender.

[@chevaryan2082]

@@slsthewriter1299 As a gay woman this also pissed me off so much! The audacity of those people honestly!! My partner and I want to get married eventually but we’re both jobless at the moment (due to no fault of our own) and struggling financially. Does that make us love each other less? Fuck no it doesn’t! We struggle together and if anything has been a big life lesson for both of us about the importance of spending wisely lol we have been together 6 years in January and when we met she was working, I was not and haven’t this whole relationship (health issues). We’re in this for each other, not for money.

[@LazyIRanch]

The entitled bride who didn't think a handmade cross stitch, framed, that she ASKED for wasn't enough gift really chapped me. My sister does quality work like that, and it takes her a lot of time. I'm proud to own 4 of her pieces, and they are treasures to me. If the house was burning, I'd grab those and my uncle's paintings. Irreplaceable works of art! I just looked on eBay to see what something comparable could sell for. I found a nice Noah's Ark framed picture, described as dated 1993, good condition but the frame has some nicks and scratches. It sold for $225 with about $98 shipping. This lady made a CUSTOM piece for her friend who obviously does not value her talent or her time! GRRRR!

[@finalfight505]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/sH2ai4SXnb5jl8k Finally it's here.

[@edelleaa]

exactly!! i was just thinking how such a custom handmade piece would cost hundreds to commission from someone.. this bride was just incredibly ungrateful

[@jessn.3851]

Silk thread is special, I've never worked with it. I gave up on cross stitching years ago because it's so incredibly time consuming. That wedding piece is worth hundreds of dollars from the labor alone.

[@Calhoungal]

If the minimum wage was applied to how much time it took to complete that cross-stitched piece, we would be looking into the thousands!

[@SoManyRandomRamblings]

It's been close to 2 decades since I got it.... but my favorite gift of ALL TIME is still a blanket someone took the time to crochet in my favorite colors.

[@Thehouseoffail]

I once had a woman ask me if it was ok to breastfeed. For context, I'm a librarian who works on a youth only floor. I told her: not only did it not bother me personally, but it's illegal in our state to aske her to move or cover herself. So, if anyone on our floor gives her a hard time, she should come grab me and I'll explain the law to them myself.

[@TheCatniptrip]

As someone who cross stitches and has had something similar happen, I felt rage at the last one...I mean I felt rage already because of the previous ones but that one hits a bit closer to home

[@finalfight505]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/sH2ai4SXnb5jl8k Finally it's here.

[@theasinclaire52]

People don't understand the time and effort, not to mention artistry, that goes into crafts. I would be over the moon if someone spent their time making me anything, even a crayon drawing from my nephew.

[@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066]

My closest childhood friend made a cross stitch blanket for my first born, and it took a lot longer than she had planned, so it wasn't ready to present at the time of my baby shower. There was a hilarious little IOU in the card😂 She actually didn't finish until a couple weeks after he was born!😂 But so? When it arrived in the mail I just wept....a lot!!! She put so much time and effort into such a beautiful blanket.... I couldn't imagine letting my baby accidentally poop on it!!!🤣😂🤣😂 So I hung it up over his crib for him to look at as he drifted off to sleep.. It's one of the most favorite gifts I've ever received! It was made by her 2 hands and with her whole heart ❤ Money CAN'T buy anything close to that!!!

[@justjeni83]

Recently took my 15 yr boy for a cardiology appointment. Another family was in the waiting room with 2 younger children. One of them was an infant. He got fussy, his mother breastfed him. My 15yr didn't even flinch. Maybe cause he saw me breastfeed his younger brother years ago but if a 15 yr old can handle it then a grown ass person should be able to handle it.

[@christiesiu873]

I read this and it made me smile and I’m glad that at least some people are raised and are being raised the right way.

[@FluffyPoopPrincess]

Truth!! (And hope your son's heart is okay! ❤)

[@cariwaldick4898]

I had my kids in the 90's and this was an issue then. I see that even now it's still an issue--30 years later. It's sad. I especially hate when it's women doing the shaming. "I fed my kids in privacy, why can't you?"

[@M_SC]

Even if you feel super uncomfortable like I did as a child (I’m the youngest) you simply act polite and not like an a-hole not demanding to control others, as you always have to do. And then the discomfort turns to experience/boredom. Also how you get over any phobia you have.

[@marmedello]

I feel as though it’s ok to not like seeing people’s breasts and nipples. I say this as a mom who breastfed in public. But I used a cover. Yes I know they kick it off, but that doesn’t mean give up. That’s like people foregoing pants because they sometimes their low rise pants show too much skin when they bend over. Women can’t tell men it’s not sexual. I’ve never heard men say it isn’t sexual, just the women. But it’s not supposed to be sexual to us because we’re women. Should people be rude about it? Absolutely not. I’ve seen many women intentionally exposing themselves while breastfeeding and although I don’t like it as a straight woman, I don’t say anything and just look away. Your baby will get used to it. If you accidentally show some skin because of a kicking baby while actively trying to cover, it’s different from not caring. If someone was casually walking around in public with their tits hanging completely out of their shirt, no bra, it wouldn’t be surprising or bad if a stranger told them to cover up. I know silly analogy, but it fits

[@MsSavagechef]

Regarding the dissed needlework gift: I would be absolutely thrilled to have something like that gift made for our wedding. It's an over and above kind of present. It the kind of item that the heirs would fight over when they die.

[@Emeraldwitch30]

One set of my cousins I knew had just started a new business and I reminded all my family my wedding reception is a party. You just join me and my new hubby for a night of food and drink and just celebrate with us. Since he is a carpenter him and his wife took my wedding invite and did some creative burning/embellishments and put it into a hand made frame. I absolutely still have and adore thst gift from my wedding. People don't realize the effort and love that goes into hand crafting stuff. I'm very selective on who I make things for compared to who I just buy things for.

[@kristinrooney-erb501]

The irony and hypocrisy of requesting a custom stitched art for a Bible verse about LOVE and then being so entitled to call your very generous and hardworking friend an A-Hole. The bride doesn’t need art, but a mirror…🤦🏼‍♀️

[@laticha402]

She needs to pay her friend for the piece so she can buy her the present then. I see no other way to have both.

[@lollylolly8186]

She needs Jesus!

[@jodysuess3453]

So true! Well stated!

[@melissacoviello2886]

I can’t comprehend brides who demand gifts. I did a potluck for my wedding (some people were horrified-my in laws) but that’s the only way we could invite everyone we wanted to share the day with. I felt that was more considerate than just eloping. I don’t understand the extravagant costs for weddings and had no desire for any of it, all I wanted was to marry my husband surrounded by people that we loved. That’s it. That’s what it was. I got my grandmother’s approval and that’s all I cared about.

[@kylaarmstrong-benjamin8066]

I don't understand why others get nit picky about insignificant details of weddings and they're NOT even the ones getting married! It's not your day, so leave it alone! Let this couple decide what they want on their own friggin wedding day!!!

[@powers1217]

That’s a great idea! Wish I’d have thought of it.

[@koriignace89-25-movielover]

Love that idea if I ever get married I'll likely do the same, I have a severe allergy to soy so individually made foods is a must when I do big get-togethers.

[@ivechang6720]

My ideal would be just a few friends, picnic stuff, a small bonfire and music. That's my jam.

[@IAmTheWorstArtist]

I had mine “catered” (lots of food dropped off and left) but it was because half the guests were coming from out of state so potluck wasn’t an option for that, however we just had it in our backyard and didn’t even think to ask people for gifts. We were just like, “Hey, we’re finally doing it, come, eat, dance, and chill.” Oh, our one splurge, though, was a bouncy castle. It was awesome.

[@2cornichons]

My daughter and I are planning her wedding. I can not imagine demanding gifts. I love that our culture considers your attendance a gift.

[@lexwithbub]

The first one, OP is ABSOLUTELY protecting her own fears onto Chrissy! And as for the breastfeeding one... If everyone else gets to eat at the reception, why doesn't the baby?

[@LilKitten9620]

THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING! Like am I supposed to just let my baby starve???

[@dodgyyoutuber9560]

Breastfeeding in public should be socially acceptable. That’s why we have boobs. Not just for men to oggle over

[@avarast]

For the breastfeeding one, I would agree, and would absolutely tank the shit if someone tried to make a woman embarassed for breastfeeding anywhere. But on the other hand, If i was a woman, and needed to breastfeed... I wouldnt be confortable doing so at a social event. I mean, park bench and stuff (public area) I would absolutely pop my baby feeder for everyone to see. But i wouldn't do it at a wedding because i wouldn't even want it to become a topic. But she has the right to if she is confortable with it.

[@raveniaelhoran2647]

bottle does exist for purpose...

[@MsSavagechef]

@@LilKitten9620 And then Bridezilla would complain about the crying.

[@carolinacenzano8922]

The first story!! The exact same happened to me! I come from a wealthy family so all dates and holidays where paid “by me” (I worked to but I would be lying if I say I didn’t receive a huge allowance until I graduate college). When my country was in almost a civil war during 2019 my boyfriend stayed with me and my mom because we lived in the rich zone where “nothing happened”. His first checks he spend them in his family debts and buying new furniture al clothes for his parents. Now he has his own company (small one with friends) and live in not the richest but a very nice district. Now I am disable so I can’t work very much so he cares about my health, medicines, all the house bills, etc. being with someone is to support each other! Not how long you have to wait for financial stability because trust me, you can loose your chances to get one just because of health or something, like me. People would say why I stay with him, and I think it’s the opposite question! He is a 11/10

[@aundiekutzkey3802]

I feel read. Chrissy's story is exactly my story. I was with my partner for 8 years but we both had shit jobs and were going to school until about 2 years ago. But I could never think of living this life without him!

[@mamapoch1915]

When my daughter was an infant, my husband and I went over to a friend of his house. I never liked this couple so I never called them MY friends. Anyways, I was breastfeeding my newborn daughter, inside their house, and the woman who lived there said that she thought that was perverted. She actually told me that. As for the people who dissed the couple who just got engaged after 7 years of being together, it's none of their damn business. Personally, I think they're all just jealous. And the bride-to-be who was so ungrateful for the absolutely one-of-a-kind, irreplaceable gift that was made for her, I hope she doesn't end up getting that gift. She doesn't deserve it.

[@nesvrstana1950]

Hahaha jealous of what? Not having to take care of a brat?

[@Moonsnowrose]

My older sister got engaged at their 9th year and got wedded on their 10th anniversary. They didn't want to hurry to get married and wanted to save up for their future. It's each their own

[@moonshade3730]

@@nesvrstana1950 "as for the people who got engaged after 7 years of being together..." is referring to another story in the video, not OP's experience with her husband's weird friends that sexualise breastfeeding for some reason.

[@sdube001]

Regarding the cross-stitch gift, before my hands developed severe arthritis, I cross-stitched, crocheted, hand quilted, you name it. You'd be amazed how many people under value your time and effort. For example, I worked with someone who asked me to crochet her a sweater. The pattern worked on a diagonal, and used 3 types of yarn. Being nice and her co- worker, I was just going to charge 85 dollars, 3 times the price of the specialty yarns (which that plus an x amount per hour rate was pretty standard) but I was not charging for hours worked. Anyway, she declined saying " It was too expensive for something handmade". This literally would have been a one of a kind item. Anyhow a month goes by and while we're talking one day, she shows me the boots she bought, for 150 dollars. That style was big then and all over the place, but she was so thrilled she got them so cheap. So as long as everyone had them, the price was worthwhile as opposed to something no one else would have. And I'm not bragging when I say my sweater would have gotten many compliments, others have bought some items without a quibble or asked me for classes to teach them to make things.

[@cristela4034]

Don't understand your co-worker logic. Handmade costs more not less cause it takes more time and work and like you said, it's unique.

[@powers1217]

I used to silversmith jewelry for mostly a hobby, but would occasionally get commissioned. A male friend wanted a LAST MINUTE gift of a pendant made for his (now ex) wife. I had less than 2 weeks to make it and was still learning so I wasn’t very fast. He balked when I told him $50.00 for it. I told him it was a custom piece; silver, silver solder, and semi-precious stones cost a decent amount of money; I wasn’t charging him for labor or packaging (a nice wooden box), and he wasn’t going to get anything personal like that in a short amount of time. He paid the $50.00 😁

[@wondervol7351]

I waited 8 years for my husband to propose and now we're celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary 💙 I would've waited forever for him, he's my person.

[@danderson8431]

I crocheted a blanket for my close friend’s wedding. It took months to do, and she absolutely loved it. The fact that I made something instead of just buying something meant a lot to her.

[@booksargram]

oh my gosh, the cross stitch one. so infuriating!! my mom cross stitch projects for gifts like this and it takes so much work, concentration, time, etc. there’s not enough appreciation when people make something so beautiful and heartfelt.

[@Rudromukherjeenerv]

I couldn’t believe that! She literally spent weeks making that! And she paid for all the materials and the frame herself! She didn’t ask her for a penny and it seems the bride wasn’t going to pay her for it! Yet she still has to buy her a gift from the amazon wish list or whatever?! How is that acceptable behaviour? She spent months of her spare time making this for you! Time she could be using doing things that she wanted to do! These people make me sick!

[@creepyoldgoat]

The first story reminds me of me and my hubs, when we first started dating we were dirt poor, just moved out of our parent's house, and we were both working at Target and going to school. We were together 6 years before we got married, and I felt pressured by friends and family to marry sooner than we did, but it just didn't seem important. I knew I would be with him forever, if we were married or not, rich or poor. Here we are 15 years later, in a much better financial situation and I still got to marry for love. Most people aren't that financially stable in their 20's anyway, and late 20's is hardly too old to start a family, I would say that's the perfect time to have a child tbh.

[@Mialanu]

"Breasts are not for you, they exist to feed children." I felt that. 🤣

[@tessaritter5339]

Yes! Why do so many people forget this reason breasts exist?

[@dhaliablack2804]

I always thought how it is funny that breastfeeding upsets men and on the other hand... They are grown men and still love to play with boobies. 🤷‍♀️

[@gloriasmyly3074]

You need to tell this to the brother so he can understand his sister's breasts aren't for him😅

[@brighidmcmullen9577]

Yes. The fact that men can enjoy them with our consent is just an added bonus not an invitation to be harassed or gawked at or hit on.

[@danielraiber3639]

Your honor, I move to change the word "registry" in the context of baby/engagement/wedding showers and weddings in general to "wish list" because that is what they are.

[@bakaichigo]

I concur~!

[@emilypadden6406]

Right?? I have always felt that we should flip the script on registeries, especially now that I'm an older woman looking back...the time to help people is when they're single, alone, and possibly struggling, not when there are two of them and they just want nicer versions of their current stuff!

[@skullgirrl757]

Hell yeah for Chrissy in the first story! I'm off the same mindset & actually just got kicked out of a FB group today because I refused to be classist & materialistic & shit on a guy for buying an engagement ring at Walmart. They got mad when I called them materialistic, classist & shallow for putting a price tag on their love, so blocked & banned XD

[@abigailkaterbergcolibaba]

There is literally a picture of my mother breast feeding an infant me at my aunt's wedding( you can't really see anything in the photo for the record)And no one cared, because my mom was at her sister's wedding, feeding her child, aka the flower girl.

[@Mama_Bear524]

Aw! I bet it’s a beautiful picture. I’m so happy someone took that for you both. I wish I had pics of me nursing my babies.

[@undomiel466]

I cross stich and crochet, and one of my favourite piece was this quite big cross stich of the Beaty and the Beast I made for my sister's wedding. It took me 8 months and I cried when I finished it. I can't imagine what I would have felt if she didn't cry too when I gave it to her, let alone if she disrespected my gift in such a way. It may seem dramatic, but it is heartbreaking

[@loracorwyn3713]

I hope the maker kept it for herself

[@natmccallion]

The last one floored me! My sis in law is a florist, so gifted bouquets and button holes for us. My aunty got wed and I did her invites, seating plan etc and that was their gift. If you ask someone to provide a service for your wedding and you have not arranged to pay for it you should assume it’s THE GIFT! 🖤

[@mellvee]

My husband and I were friends for about 3 months, started dating, moved in together 7 weeks later and were married eight months after that. We just celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary yesterday. We've raised two amazing sons together (19 and 22), and are still very glad we met. I realize we're lucky because we moved so quickly. I'd always advise people move in together before marrying because you do not really know anyone until you live with them.

[@sunflower1129]

I would agree, but don't share finances or buy anything together

[@Just1Nora]

That last one reminds me of my Mom; incidentally we spoke about it last week. It wasn't a wedding but Christmas. Our neighbor and her close friend at the time had mentioned how much she adored our dining table sized crocheted doilie that my mom had made. So Mom set to work and made their family one for Christmas. The friend happily set it out on her new, unwashed *red* holiday tablecloth, placed red candles on top in candelabras which dripped red wax on the piece, both parents were smokers so ash dropped on it, and food from the meal. After Christmas she took the soiled doilie and put it in the washing machine with the red tablecloth, then through THE FRIGGIN DRYER. Of course it came out warped, pink, and ruined. Friend was blasé. Mom said she could have just cried. She had spent probably close to 200 hours on that piece and it was ruined so quickly. Their friendship was never quite the same after that. Some people can't or don't care about taking care of nice things; don't give those people handmade items. It will only hurt you in the end. To summarize what Charlotte wisely said, "If someone isn't paying you for your materials and your time, then it's a gift and probably the most heartfelt one they'll receive."

[@FluffyPoopPrincess]

This hurt my little crocheter heart. Not the dryer tooo!😭

[@cantsalvagethis]

horrifying

[@yetiyarnworks6578]

This is why I rarely crochet gifts for people. Only for those I know for certain will truly appreciate and care for them.

[@robincharles7057]

Honestly until I started watching these videos I never realized there were people that didn't allow people to their weddings if they didn't bring a gift, or that would harass people about the registry. I haven't gotten married yet, but when I do I don't think I'd really consider a registry. Getting a microwave or something like that that you asked for just seems so impersonal. For pretty much any event (birthdays weddings etc) I don't want anyone to feel obligated to get me something, and if they do give me something I want it to be something they thought of or made. I don't mind if people ask me what kind of gift I might want for a bday or something, but I never name off a specific item, just a general idea like "oh I would love some pajamas" etc. I wouldn't want to look back at my wedding and be like "oh yeah and my mom gave us this toaster we used for a few years that we asked for." I would think people would rather have something they can look back on years later and remember things by. :/

[@georgina-a]

You definitely have the right outlook! Your future spouse will be lucky to have such a decent and kind person in their life 💕 When my husband and I got married, we'd waited until we were financially secure (a wedding is nice, but it's not worth getting into debt over). All we were interested in was that the people we love were there to celebrate with us, and that they were happy and comfortable on our special day. We didn't need many of the "traditional" gifts, and didn't want our loved ones to waste their money, so we said "the best gift you can give us is your time and presence on our big day. However, if you'd like to get us something, please consider making a donation in our honour to a charity very dear to our hearts" (then provided the charity's details, along with a little post box for people to pop donations into if they didn't want to do it online). We were blown away by the kindness of our guests. Not only did the charity do *really* well out of it but, because we weren't greedy and hadn't set any rules that put pressure on our guests, people went out of their way to give us deeply personal things that meant the world. One Aunty made us a cross stitch sampler that must've taken forever - & it was beautiful. It is hung with pride in our home. A family friend knitted us the most beautiful blanket, that we still use now. My sister-in-law had two glasses (that had belonged to my husband's grandparents, who passed years before the ceremony) engraved with our wedding details "so they could celebrate with us, too" (yes, we cried and yes, we toasted them with the glasses at the reception!). My grandfather had passed before we were married and I really missed him. My brother had some of our grandfather's old broken tools melted down, and had two beautiful pens made from the metal. It was a huge surprise and he presented us with them as we went to sign the registry. Hands down, the best gift I've ever received, & a beautiful way to include him in our wedding. Greedy people don't get it. While they money grab, they push people away. Nobody wants to go the extra mile for them. When you don't ask, and try and look after your loved ones, they do the same for you - resulting in the most incredible gifts, that no amount of money could buy 💖

[@samanthas2280]

A registry can be helpful for people who get anxiety over what to get you. It also prevents getting two same things. Example: Aunt Martha and neighbor Joann both got you a microwave. You like Joann's better for whatever reason. Aunt Martha visits and wonders why you replaced her thoughtful microwave. Have a registry, but get the word out that no one is obligated, and you welcome non-registry gifts.

[@FruityHachi]

asking for a specific item prevents wasting money and creating unnecessary waste when people get you something that isn't your style and you don't use it if you hoard stuff just to look back at them or if you use whatever stuff that you get and you have no preferences, that's you, but why shame people for asking for specific items? if someone would say "I'd love some book" and the person receives a detective novel when they don't read detective novels, what good does it do to ask for a general gift? or receive pajamas that are too small or too big

[@FruityHachi]

@@samanthas2280 yeah I'd seen a sitcom episode where one character received the same book from 3 different people

[@franl155]

If the tapestry didn't count because bride asked her to do it, treat it as an art commission and charge for all materials used plus a hefty whack for time taken in fulfilling the order. If bride pays up, then OP can buy her a gift off the registry.

[@moustachmallow559]

She can buy off the registry with the payment for her artwork 😈

[@franl155]

@@moustachmallow559 - or the bride can buy something herself and call it OP's gift

[@moustachmallow559]

@@franl155 That also works, but it won't make the bride look any less of an entitled princess.

[@franl155]

@@moustachmallow559 - lol nor should she!

[@MrJoeGarner]

When my Wife and I travel to her home, Lima, Peru. You see breastfeeding all the time. It's a very natural thing to do. Americans are so caught up in sexuality of everything, it's impossible to do it here.

[@shmwmlam3953]

Same in my country. It is a very normal thing here. People do it in busses, public events, everywhere. Some cover. Some do not. So I was really suprised when I learned about this USA's weird thing about breastfeeding.

[@seapeajones]

Another problem with a puritanical ethics system.

[@callmepheebsformyphoebenam8113]

Breastfeeding is also normal in my country. Yeah, I was pretty surprise outside from my country shames it😂

[@laurenecarter246]

Yes, I'm Australian. The *ONLY* person who had *ANY* issue with me brestfeeding my child was the American wife of my husbands best friend. She made her husband leave the hospital room when I started feeding my dughter when they visited after the birth. And can I say, I was VERY discreet... I didn't flop my boob out for all to see. She also bought me a modesty breastfeeding cover. She's the only person I've met with breast implants also, so it was obviously a sexuality issue for her.

[@mima9277]

or soooooo many other places in the world that dont sexualize feeding a baby

[@thedragonoracle7627]

Story 1 is similar to my own life, me and my partner just got engaged after 7 years. We are both the kind of people that appreciate long term planning, and we basically planned from the beginning to not move in together so he could focus on getting his 4 engineering degrees while I focused on raising our daughter and my sisters hospice. We also trust each other pretty completely, clear communication helps. Now he’s about to make 6 figures with his IT job and just bought me a 7.7 carat ring, one carat for each year I was waiting 😊I also find his dad jokes irresistible, and his ring is a worthy offering for my dragon hoard.

[@starlingswallow]

I married for "security" the first time and it ended up being an abusive marriage with a covert narcissist and wasn't "secure" at *ALL.* I was alone in a 14 year long marriage, no kids, no owned house, no sex, no dates, no help with household work....just rage, a lot of crying on my part, not being seen, heard, supported, encouraged, adored or delighted in. Spiritual abuse, financial abuse, sexual abuse, emotional neglect with an added 24/7 anxiety due to walking on eggshells the entire time~ but here I am 41 and remarried for *LOVE* to the most amazing man I have ever met...and my family (especially my dad) is still harping on my husband not being financially secure. My hubby has had the worst luck with jobs his whole life. It is such a wound in him that he has cried in my arms over it and here my dad is bringing it up on my birthday weekend after I *specifically* set a boundary with my parents to NOT BRING IT UP...and this is the _second_ time my dad has blown past this boundary and ambushed us with this topic like we are two children. My husband is 52. What....the....hell!?!? My husband supports me in every way that is important to *ME* and that is what matters most *TO ME!!!!* My dad can go..... well, you fill in the blank. I am happy as I've ever been and I wonder if my dad actually cares about that. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ LUCKILY my identity and self worth is no longer tethered to my family or parents. I think they just haven't gotten the memo. It's my life and I AM a freaking adult!!!!! (even if they still see me as a child)

[@jiggyprawn]

I am supremely pleased for you that you are where you are now, despite the adversity you suffered to get here. Sounds to me like you need to distance yourself from your parents, or perhaps not see them with your husband, unless he wants to be present. That sort of drama is not welcome. You keep being blessed and happy.😊

[@daphne8406]

I guess some of the older generation are still very much caught up with that a husband should be able to provide for the family and be the main income provider to be any good 🤔 I wonder if he would say the same things if the roles were reversed 🤷‍♀️ My dad is the same, I have been with my partner for 20 years who’s struggled to keep jobs due to chronic illness, but my partner loves me for me and makes me happy everyday. But yeah, I am the main income provider, my dad just HAS to bring it up whenever we/I see him 😑 Annoying, hurtful and insulting. My partner brings so much more to the relationship than money, otherwise we would not have been together for two decades already 😊 (fun fact, my dad is on his 4th marriage 😝)

[@danielleking262]

Man, when I read off stuff that was going on with your first marriage, a lot of things are similar with mine..... I've been with my bf for over twelve years and I think he's just probably not exactly the love of my life and that's why we don't really want to get married. We've been with each other so long that we say we're already practically married...... We almost broke up just ONCE and it was already a week of heartache and depression, so I just can't ever see myself leaving him, only for fear that I'll be on my own again and have to start over at Step 1. If I knew there was someone out there better suited for me and make it easier to leave, then I truly believe I would. I feel like I am stuck but there are no better alternatives. No promises I will find the right man enough to make me leave this one. I've already spent a third of my life with him. It would be the hardest thing I would ever have to do. I'm secure in my job but I have no clue where I would go, and I would be alone. It's awful to feel like you're going nowhere. This isn't how it started out. It just became dull over time and we're just living together day by day routine and no spark anymore. I don't know what to do. ☹️

[@Sarah-oj7bh]

edited: because I wanted to answer to a different comment

[@Sarah-oj7bh]

@@danielleking262 If your relationship is as bad as OP's, it's 100% worth it to get out. It absolutely will be lonely at first. Especially if you're isolated and have lost your friends, your spirit is crushed, it doesn't feel like you can do it on your own.. it will be very hard to get out of that, but these things may not be true about you in general, but just come from being in a bad relationship. It's a good thing if you can already financially provide for yourself. That means you could start looking for a place tomorrow, theoretically. And then.. with loneliness comes freedom. Can you imagine just doing whatever comes to mind? Eating chocolate for breakfast if you want, going out for a nice dinner or doing some sports or going to the movies if you feel like it in the moment, maybe you always wanted a pet or to take an art course or learn a music instrument or paint your walls bright orange or what. Or there's a vacation place that you've always wanted to go to, but never have. And then.. it's not unlikely that good people will start coming into your life one by one. But the heartache and depression will absolutely happen. Think of it like grieving for the bad years.

[@justhearmeout3959]

So this first girl is butthurt because her friend's man had to support himself through college? Dafuq

[@finalfight505]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/sH2ai4SXnb5jl8k Finally it's here.

[@jaypritchett6846]

*I made my cousin a gift for her wedding!* I welded a shelving-unit for her! 😉 I’m not a welder, but I was learning for a school project, and I thought it would be good practice. *She said it was her favorite gift because it took a lot of time and effort to make it, without even being asked.* 😁❤️

[@annekonskier299]

Exactly

[@lizzylambardo8103]

Thank you for standing up for breastfeeding! I tried using a nursing cover for like, 2 or 3 weeks with my son. Then I realized it was a hassle to feed him and I was already struggling when I didn't have the cover on. When I ditched the cover and adopted the attitude "I'm feeding my baby and people can get over themselves" my breastfeeding journey immediately became 1000% easier. Fuck covers if they bother you or make things more difficult for you. Feed your kids when, where, and how you want to. If you like the privacy because it's a more intimate connection with your baby, then take that privacy. If you don't give a damn about privacy, then just feed your kid. It's that simple. You do what makes you comfortable so that you can feed your baby.

[@tessaritter5339]

Exacly. Feeding and comforting your child is way more important then take care of the feelings of stupid strangers.

[@sunnysday59]

Absolutely the best reply. Don't shame moms who wish to cover if they want to and don't shame the ones who don't, because it's not up to you and you are not going to win that argument. Why is this even still an issue?

[@TheSnowdogsShorts]

A few years back, I was in a coffee shop with a friend, when I noticed a woman breastfeeding, at another table. I smiled to myself and turned away. A breastfed baby is usually quiet and content. Baby, mama, and everyone else, can enjoy the coffee shop experience in peace. I see it as win/win.

[@melissai4798]

Snowdogs shorts is smart. Be like snowdogs shorts.

[@UnicornsPoopRainbows]

Whenever my baby(8 months old at the time) would get fussy, my sister who bottle fed her colicky baby 18 years prior, simply said "Give her a boob!" every single time 😄😄 it was basically "Give her a boob or I'm going to give her ice cream" Auntie knows how to be the favorite aunt And no, I didn't let my sister feed my infant ice cream. I'm pretty sure she snuck some chocolate pudding though

[@kiorodjirane8517]

While I do have issue with public nudity in general because it make me inconfortable I don't find the need to call out if everyone is fine with it. Like Charlotte said, it's a 'me problem' so I avoid this sort of situation. It's just a awkward moment (for me) that I would rather not make even more awkward for everyone else.

[@sarasvensson6026]

@@kiorodjirane8517 I feel the exact same way. I would personally not want to breastfeed in the open because it would make me feel uncomfortable but I applaud anyone who feels comfortable doing it and wish I could be like them.

[@kima838]

​@@sarasvensson6026That's a really nice perspective! We never know what we'll be like in the future. I kind of assumed I'd use a cover, but a twin pregnancy and newborns that never wanted to do the same things at the same time (except cry) left me with no modesty, no sleep, and not many fucks to give. As much as anyone else dislikes breastfeeding, the mom doing it might like it even less.

[@UnicornsPoopRainbows]

As someone who breastfed 2 babies, one of which was born in the beginning of COVID, the breastfeeding one annoyed me so much, I would've made my sibling feel like a tiny ant from my berating. Then I would have immediately left. I didn't feel comfortable nursing in public but since I live in Korea, there are "nursing rooms" or "baby rest rooms" in most shopping centers so it wasn't much of an issue but I did nurse a couple of times on a toilet. What a fun trick of fixing your clothes while not dropping or putting a possibly squirming infant down. When I visited my sister in America, we were visiting people and spending time in houses. She is always ready to put someone in their place. I wish someone had made a comment, it would have been funny to watch her scare them away.

[@kima838]

Aww, my twins were born at the start of Covid too! Congratulations on making it though that time. I did NOT find it to be a good time to not be able to have anyone over 😬. Hope you and your family are well!

[@teambtm]

Breastfed my 4 month old twins at my brother's wedding. Rather than get offended or mad, in his wedding speech he congratulated me in front of everyone and, like Charlotte suggested, thanked me for making it, given I was a new single mum of twins. That dude is way TA

[@me2ontube]

if my sister whipped out her book n started breast feeding in the middle of my wedding I'd throw her butt out - screw the politically correct bs

[@nara_saya]

No you shouldn’t uncomfortable.

[@Sunari]

Good on him for being happy you could make it, and probably happy the nieces/nephews (or combo) could make it too. The weirdest part about OP is getting annoyed that sister did it in her own house, like wtf?! Dude's gonna have a rude awakening when he realizes that babies' schedules aren't like adult schedules for sleeping, eating, and bathroom.

[@Analaya749]

I have a photo from my cousins wedding (12 years ago) of my sister and another cousin breastfeeding their babies at the reception. It’s a beautiful thing, if anybody sees it as other wise is most likely uneducated/ not familiar with breastfeeding but now a days there’s so many resources out there to get information. There’s no excuse to shame a mother for it.

[@MelanieMacDonalDMELSPLAYLISTS]

HEY FIRSTLY PLZZZ EXCUSE THE CAPS & EXACTLY ( KUDOS TO YOUR BRO BTW : ) WHEN OUR BABIES ARE HUNGRY ( HOWEVER MUM CHOOSES TO FEED NO GATEKEEPING HERE ) AS WITH A BOTTLE FED BABY , IT SHOULD BE WHEREVER THE MOTHER & BABY HAPPEN TO BE WHEN SAID BABY IS HUNGRY 💯 MY BREASTFEEDING JOURNEY WAS BACK IN 2001 - 2007 WITH MINE & I AM SOOOOOO GLAD TIMES HAVE CHANGED IN FAVOUR BECAUSE THESE ( . v . ) HAVE FED THE MASSES ( NOT THE ONE PAIR NO … LOL ; ) FOR BILLIONS OF YRS MOSTLY BEFORE THE WEARING OF CLOTHES , THE VERY REASON WE HAVE THEM & WERE GIVEN / BLESSED WITH THEM 👶 IT IS DONE WITH COMPLETE DISCRETION BTW , WITH THE HELP OF NURSING BRAS & CLOTHES ETC … PLUS WE USE OUR BABIES AS COVERAGE & ALL ANYONE REALLY SEES IS OUR BABY LAYING IN OUR ARMS , BUT FACING TOWARDS US WITH THEIR HEAD IN OUR BREAST REGION NUZZLING IN , TBH THERES PRETTY MUCH JUST THE NIPPLE & AREOLA SNEAKILY OUT YET COVERED & THE BABY IS ON IT CHOWING DOWN BEFORE YOU COULD EVEN BLINK … I TELL YA I WAS HONESTLY SHOCKED @ THE DISCRETION & EASE WHEN I FIRST EVER NERVOUSLY FED IN PUBLIC , BABIES KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING FROM THE SECOND THEY ARE BORN ( WELL MOST UNLIKE MY FIRSTBORN ) … SERIOUSLY ITS NOT LIKE WE JUST GRAB OUR BOOBS & JUST LOB EM OUT LIKE ITS A FREE - *ALL - YA - CAN EAT / DRINK BUFFET* 🤣

[@jessicaholscher4097]

yeah, if i saw a lady breastfeeding at a wedding, i would think, "oh, boob. oh she's feeding her baby. cool, guess i'll get back to minding my business." if i saw a woman breastfeeding and her brother was arguing with her, i might have to involve myself, depending on the situation (how well i know them, if he's yelling). at the very least, i would watch the scene unfold with harsh judgement.

[@SynchroScore]

I volunteer at a railway museum, and we had our annual visit from Thomas the Tank Engine last month. Everything is crowded, lots of families with young children, and on one of the runs, a mother on my coach was feeding. She had a blanket to wrap around herself and her baby, and of course it's not against our rules, so I carried on answering the questions from her other children. Babies need to eat, they don't care where they are, just leave them be.

[@neversaw]

100% my only thought would be OOo baby I want to say hello to it

[@101HPfan]

when my cousin gave me a handmade blanket and stuffed bunny for my daughter at my baby shower, i cried bc i knew it was made w love for her and was touched to have had that hardwork put in for her. i didnt expect anything else, she brought,and it remains my favorite gift from anyone for my daughter

[@mycreativeheart4159]

A thoughtful, heartfelt, hand-crafted item is one of the most precious gifts any one could ever receive. As a previous cross-stitcher I have made many of these types of gifts with materials costing around $100... then professional framing at $250-350. Not to mention the 8-12 months it takes to make. Now I make quilts as gifts. It's the same type of thing... $250-500 for materials, plus my time involved (again 6-8months).... and I don't need to hire someone to professionally quilt it, as I have access to a long arm quilting machine, which saves me an additional $500. But it's not about the money spent or time taken...My gifts are always person specific... created with them and their preferences in mind. They are hand crafted out of love and during the process, I am thinking of where this quilt will be going, my friendship or relationship with this person, how much I care for them, and the things I wish for them in their lives.

[@sabrina-wq4uu]

So your pieces are filled with the love and good wishes stitched into every inch. I can't think of a better gift that would cost any amount of money.

[@katrinascarlet5637]

My sister cried when she got her birthday present from her 4 year old. It was an exploding gift box (it pops open when lid is removed and has layers) the day before I'd gotten with the kid and had her decorate every side. Lots of drawings of her with her mom, stickers, glitter, ribbons. In the excitement we forgot to get an actual gift but MIL came in with a pack of fuzzy socks and fancy soap (she loves fuzzy socks and has eczema so fancy soap was welcomed) The gift part wasn't expensive at all but getting a gift from her kid with so much thought and work put into it made her burst into tears.

[@WeAllLiveInTheTwilightZone]

When my dad passed away in 2017, he had MANY Harley Davidson t-shirts. Mostly black J&L Harley ones (the local dealer) and many that were from a number of events he participated and donated money to. He was a "passionate" weekend warrior as he was the head design engineer for the company he work at until he passed at 71. I laugh when I say this but my Dad loved my Mom, 1st and foremost, us 4 kids, the grandkids, great-grandchildren and his Harley!!! Beautiful touring Fatboy with so much after market work he did on it. The bike was at his wake and it is etched on his side of the gravestone. A good friend of my Mom's is a quilter and made 14 of the most beautiful quilts I've ever seen, one for all of. Each one has 12 of the tshirts with borders around the perimeter and internally, as though the were framed. THAT is how many tshirts he had!!!!!! The most cherished gift I will ever receive. The thought my Mom put into "recycling the cycles" and Colleen's work was priceless and so ingenious because who doesn't love a quilt!! When I was ill and spent more a month and a half in the hospital, I had my Dad with me!!!

[@mycreativeheart4159]

@@WeAllLiveInTheTwilightZone Wonderful memories of your dad!! Thank you for sharing.💕 And so wonderful that your mom's friend made te whole family memorial keepsake quilts. What a beautiful and thoughtful gift.... and something that I know will cherish forever. Blessings🤗💞

[@affaro]

I had the exact same thing happen to me as the last story. Instead of a handmade cross stitch, the bride asked me to do a massive 23 x 33in watercolour painting with cute cartoons of little critters and bugs that was going to serve both as the wedding table plan chart and a painting for her child's room - the wedding theme was bugs, as we were both studying Biology and she lived Entomology. It took me several days to draw and paint everything and I paid for all the materials. I was honoured she would ask me to do this for her wedding and for her child's room and I did it with a lot of love, of course. I also did all the table cards by hand. A few days after I gave the painting + table cards to her (which she promptly said she loved!), I receive a phone call exactly like the one in the story. The only difference was back in the day I was a student. In my story, my friend called to explain there were 3 category of guests: 1 - the one's who would give them money (she quickly explained this was only expected of family members); 2 - the ones who would buy a gift of the registry; and 3 - the artistic guests who would bring a gift made by them. I was expecting her next sentence to be "Of course you fall in the latter category. Thank you so much for the amazing gift". To my dismay she followed with "I noticed you haven't bought anything from the registry yet. The cheaper options are all being taken. You need to hurry up." After a moment of shock, I told her the same as OP in the story: I told her that I thought I would fall in the latter category as I had just gifted her the painting and I had worked really hard on it. Also, I said I was just a student and I didn't exactly had a lot of money. She suggested I should ask my parents to pay for the gift (!!!). I don't remember how the conversation went from there. I remember she made a few more unsavoury comments about dress code expectations and making a point my boyfriend should make sure he would wear a tie (he was kind of a rebel but he would never be disrespectful in someone's wedding). I was too shocked with the whole exchange so I didn't react any more in that moment. After hanging up, I called my boyfriend confused, hurt and crying. After talking to him, we decided we would not attend the wedding. When I called back my friend to tell her I had been really hurt by her atitute and as a result we thought it would be best not attend the wedding, she was genuinely surprised and shocked. She did apologise profusely for her behaviour and asked me to please attend the wedding. In the end we did, but our friendship was never the same.

[@affaro]

@Charlotte Dobre is this comment real?

[@anna8328]

Yeah such a butthole move! Your handmade gift should be waaaay more appreciated I am not surprised at your reactions.

[@particlextheory7480]

If I went into someone's home, it's not on me to tell them that they aren't allowed to be uncomfortable with whatever actions I'm involving myself with in their home. I'm an invited guest. I don't have to agree to someone's customs, feelings, logic, etc, to still RESPECT THEM. If I don't want to respect them, I can leave. Plain and simple. Don't like it? Don't stay!

[@chainsawtotheheart]

I have a tradition of always gifting a queen sized, handmade crochet blanket, often in the wedding colours if I know what they are, as a wedding gift. Far as I know, everyone who's received one has appreciated it. Why? Cause the people I associate with are decent people.

[@kata7628]

I was kicked out of a Barnes and Noble once for breastfeeding. I pointed out it was LEGALLY PROTECTED, and the very uncomfortable worker just reiterated that someone complained and I had to leave. I left just because the worker was in a no-win situation that wasn’t their fault and I didn’t feel like making a scene. Sad that it still happens tho.

[@aaroncallahan119]

That is.....really unfortunate.

[@carolbetarello]

You should have called the cops or something. It's not fair that you had to leave because someone was being creepy.

[@grammasscotsgirl]

Years ago (late 80s/very early 90s) I was in a small town restaurant having coffee with a friend of mine and a couple with their baby had just been served their meal. No sooner did Mom start eating and Baby woke up and demanded to be fed. She picked up baby and started feeding him/her while she continued to eat while her food was still warm. I was at the table right next to them and could see nothing but what appeared to be a Mama eating while holding her baby. But an older couple about 3 tables away complained - LOUDLY - demanding that the server "do something!" and insisted that this new mama "take the baby to the bathroom and feed it there!" Bless that young server! She picked up THEIR plates and said "Follow me" and led them towards the doors and pointed "The bathrooms are there. If you expect a new born baby to eat in there, you can start by eating there yourselves." The couple said "We want to speak to the manager!" The manager - a 60-something yr old man who had never been married and did not have children - showed up and they demanded that their food be free, that the woman feed her baby in the bathroom, and the server be fired. Bless HIM for responding with "I will have her place your food into to-go containers and you can eat them in the comfort of your home so you won't be subjected to seeing a woman feeding her baby. You can pick the containers up at the front desk AFTER you pay for them. The ONLY one who will be getting a meal compt is that breastfeeding mother and I will NOT fire an employee for following the LAW of this province. Have a nice day." They had that poor mom in tears - but by the time the manager returned to tell her that their meal would be free, everyone in the restaurant had already offered to pay for their meals. That manager was great.

[@tessaritter5339]

@@grammasscotsgirl, I'm a breastfeeding mom and it makes me very happy to hear such a story. Thank you.

[@emmymorris7648]

I’m so sorry that happened to you! My dad is an assistant store manager at a B & N and when a male customer complained about a mom of three in the kids’ department “daring to breastfeed in public”, my father invited the “offended” male customer to shop elsewhere and assured him that their customers would NOT be harassed for breastfeeding and the guy cursed at him and stormed off! It is mind boggling to me that people make such a big deal out of a baby needing food and the mother having the ability to breastfeed their child and rightfully putting their child’s needs for feed and what is more physically “comfortable” for them as the mother above forcing themselves to hide away or pump for the convenience of a dang stranger that wants to sexual use and control them! Horrifying! I have family that felt more comfortable stepping away for breastfeeding and some that did not and some that physically could not breastfeed for health reasons and I remember being shocked as a 10 year old that the women who chose to cover up or retreat to a different room in the privacy of their own home were not subjected to the horrible remarks that some of the women breastfeeding more openly were and the women who literally could not breastfeed were shamed by other women in a mother’s group (and I’m 33, so this was before social media was a regular thing!) So, basically you were “damned if you do, damned if you don’t”. It’s awful society hasn’t gotten better about this! Every family should do what’s best for them and that’s it! And the fact that this guy is shaming his SISTER and turning it into a “specialized” thing is just beyond terrible! Glad the bride and the family were on the sister’s side, but the way this guy said “she could make the sacrifice just for this one day” AFTER she’d already explained she did not need to use formula and that pumping was more painful etc is just horrible! I hope he actually LISTENS to what his sister, bride, family and the AITA comments all had to say so that in future he is not such an ass to his sister, his bride or any other breastfeeding mother he comes across in the future! And how lidded would HE have been if the shoe was on the other foot and he and HIS wife were making every effort to get to his sister’s wedding with a newborn and his sister’s husband started shaming HIS wife for breastfeeding THEIR newborn?! The way people judge, shame and sexualize such a normal mother/child act is just infuriating, and the fact that this is his SISTER that he’s doing this to is even more horrifying because WTF is he even doing looking at his SISTER in that way and then shaming her?! Dude needs to seriously re-examine himself! He is 100% the A!! Ugh! 😒😒

[@leobin6344]

Videos like this are my absolute favorite on your channel😍combination of wedding/bridezilla and AITA content is just the best! I searched a lot on KZbin but couldn't find anything even close to your videos, so please give us more and never stop being so awesome Charlotte ❤

[@Zivvie]

Redditor: "AITA for calling out my sister for breastfeeding at my wedding?" Charlotte: I hate you already. And this is why we LOVE Charlotte. ❤

[@moustachmallow559]

Hold on a minute. If it were a child-free wedding I'd have sided with him, because not only will his sister have broken that rule, but also the baby probably cried to ask to be fed, disrupting the event. But he never stated whether or not the party allowed kids, so... yeah, he made the bed on that one.

[@loveeeliiie]

@@moustachmallow559 it was also at the reception, not the ceremony. And even at "childfree" weddings, atleast where i live, breastfeeding infants are allowed.

[@e.starling141]

I'm sure it's an unpopular opinion but if it was my brother I'd feel bad I made him uncomfortable and would think of that in the future. There are other options like planning ahead and pumping so you can feed via bottle. It doesn't hurt to be selfless once in awhile for the people you care about.

[@moustachmallow559]

@@e.starling141 You have some balls to express your unpopular opinion so openly on the internet, where people are known to form mobs and roast you alive for the slightest disagreement. I respect you!

[@loveeeliiie]

@@e.starling141 you clearly know nothing about breastfeeding.

[@happyraver1958]

Every three hours friends, babies need to be fed every three hours, whether you're sleepy, hungry or in a wedding. Is this something only mothers/parents know? I thought it was common knowledge. I'm so glad to see people standing up for breastfeeding.

[@loveeeliiie]

Some babies feed even more often! Especially when they have a grow spurt or learning something new or just need comfort or painrelief. It was probably lots of noise there and the baby didnt breastfeed during the ceremony but the reception, so seems pretty normal

[@roselover411]

These wedding related videos just solidify the fact that so many people underestimate the work artists do and how entitled they are to think they deserve your time and energy for little to no cost. Like truly. A handmade cross-stitch takes a ton of time and patience and on top of that this bride wanted another gift? The only reason I'd give even this to her at that point is because I spent so much time on it and can't be sure I'd be able to sell it to someone else anyway. She doesn't deserve it.

[@cheermomcoach]

You gave me the awesome idea to get a gavel to use when my kids are fighting or I just want “ order!” Thank you!

[@azure5273]

I read gavel as gravel and for a very very short moment, I was mortified 🤣🤣🤣

[@cheermomcoach]

@@azure5273 lmao!!

[@finalfight505]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/sH2ai4SXnb5jl8k Finally it's here.

[@azure5273]

@@SaraInNH actually now that I think about it, it gives of 'Helena Bonham Carter pulling out her wand when her son(?) and his friends misbehaved' vibe😂

[@bren6967]

@@azure5273 I had an aunt that actually used gravel to breakup fights. When she came out to see what the fighting was about, they would all disperse as fast as their legs could move. No fighting around that aunt.😁 Oh, she was 4'10" and not afraid of anyone.

[@NHarts3]

Bruh I'm nearing 30 and dont have my life together 💀 that lady's fiance is 27, managed to work his way up, get a degree and stable job by 27 - I call that a win. Job market is so tough these days. If you're in a good stable job before 30, you're making it in life. Also says so much about their relationship that they supported each other through the most difficult years. Those friends are acting like she should have found herself a 25 year old millionaire 5 years ago🙄

[@finalfight505]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/sH2ai4SXnb5jl8k Finally it's here.

[@ktwhimsy6946]

Right?! I was thinking this as well!

[@madimoose3327]

That last one I wouldn't even have given her the handmade gift

[@justhearmeout3959]

Im dying at "bump milk out" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@ckilbarger01]

Babies don't care where they are, they want to eat! When your now wife is saying YTA, you best bet that wife is going to be breastfeeding in public if she's able/wanting to breastfeed, including formal events.

[@lucyfur]

Also, from what I have been told, she would still have had to pump during that time as her breasts become engorged and painful when not being used for the purpose they were designed. I say from what I have been told because I don't have kids so cannot speak from experience only from what biology class and friends have told me.

[@tessaritter5339]

@@lucyfur, true. And it's not only about hurting. If breats produce milk and didn't get emptied, the breats can get inflamed and then the mother can get ill with fever and shivering. I had that twice while breatsfeeding my daughter.

[@teenybabs]

@@lucyfur OMGoodness, I remember the times when my breasts were so swollen and like stone, too sore to pump (couldn't even handle the weight of a jumper) and I had to get a warm bath and massage them to release the excess milk. I'd forgotten about that, thanks for the reminder lol Glad our youngest is 16 and we are no longer in the baby making game. There are so many things that we were NEVER told and not all were fun finding out by yourself.

[@themadpaintress3255]

The cross stitch one...wow. I have doen small cross stitch items and it's so detailed and involved, it takes so much time, it is wild someone wouldn't consider that "enough" of a gift.

[@erinvasconcellos1]

My husband was my biggest advocate in breastfeeding in public. Mature and loving men understand that it’s not “gross” or “embarrassing”.

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

Men understand. Insecure little boys don't understand, and old assholes just want to control women any way they can.

[@lifestylehomestead]

Yess!

[@tommoore2012]

Would he also advocate if you decided to walk around in public topless?

[@tommoore2012]

@@ireallyreallyhategoogle One: Nothing about your response is relatable or comparable to my comment. Two: I have walked into traffic before.

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

@@tommoore2012 get lost troll

[@pablodelsegundo9502]

That first one made me think of the latest episode of American Horror Stories. Like Chrissy needed to wait on her man since he's the only one that would serial kill with her. edit- oh jesus, that last one. I do cross stitch and it would probably take me a full year to pull that level of a project off. Bridezilla is blessed to have someone willing to put in that amount of time and love into a gift.

[@finalfight505]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/sH2ai4SXnb5jl8k Finally it's here.

[@DrT0705]

Erm...spoiler alert

[@Mrs_Sugar_Min]

I love beading myself and learning how to cross stitch.😊

[@maryleethefox8642]

The wedding present I got my sister was painting a bunch of stuff she needed done a big bar sign that had their last name and their wedding date on it, 4 smaller signs, made a big sign to cover a no swimming sign where the wedding photos would happen, and a box with their last name on it and put the names on the sand bottles for the ceremony they did. I also made her a painting as a surprise. She was so thankful that I did all of that for her and loved the painting I made for them, she didn't need to thank me because her happiness was thanks enough.

[@jeandobkowski8571]

I made a cross stitch rose heart as a wedding gift to BIL and wife. The wedding was scheduled for a Saturday. I stopped counting hours that I worked on it at 100 and worked about another 7=10 days on it. Beautiful...names and date in the middle... framed and matted professionally. They did not get married on the date they said. Court house was closed! I've been told they never displayed it. I was crushed.

[@deedranicolehooks]

Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@danielleking262]

omg that's awful !!!!!!

[@brandons4301]

What really pisses me off about all these younger people getting married yes I'm old 43 ... Is tradition (which is not always right) says you have a year to get a couple a wedding gift, now we literally have aholes checking registries or handing out VIP bracelets that give guess access to food and drink. This wedding sh!t is so out of control. BTW my wife and I have been together for 17 years and we were living together for 15 before We even discussed marriage and that was because I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Or we probably wouldn't be married Nothing changed but we had more rights.

[@sequincook6046]

Story #2, my mom once breast fed in Walmart, under a blanket, and noticed a man staring. She confronted him. He asked her if he could go next when I (the baby) was done. She said she would have hit him if she wasn't holding me.

[@The.Artistic.Squirrel]

That right there is why I either stayed home/in the car to nurse my babies.

[@nesvrstana1950]

So she would have assulted him? And ya, she wouldn't go very well Hitting a man 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@definitelyaduck]

@@nesvrstana1950 nah he deserves to be smacked. If you see a mother breastfeeding their kid and your first thought is “I want some too” and you’re a grown ass adult, that’s just creepy

[@kellycowley3535]

​@@nesvrstana1950 Hitting a pervert that was making her uncomfortable (fixed it for you. If you want to say something like 'two wrong's don't make a right' or 'violence isn't the answer/right way to go about it' that's fine. However trying to phrase it like 'just a poor little innocent man' when he purposefully went out of his way to try and make a women feel small and exposed just makes you seem like a misogynist. I also shouldn't really need to explain why your comment does more harm to the 'don't hit an man' argument than good.

[@FirstnameLastnames]

This is why more places need to have Breastfeeding rooms!

[@toscatattertail9813]

I have done counted cross-stitch for decades, working with linnen can be tricky to begin with, but working with silk is more time consuming than standard embriodery thread. I have always felt that a gift made by hand is far more valuable than one bought in a store.

[@future.homesteader]

I breastfeed 3 kids all for at least a year & never could express (bump out milk in the story) enough milk to be able to bottle feed at all. When breastfeeding it's best to not give any bottles at all for the 1st 6 weeks while getting milk supply well established. Even if the mom wanted to bottle feed that day which she obviously didn't want to you can't always do it.

[@gachaluna2708]

I agree with you but I feel like in that particular situation it was more about respect and modesty. I 100% have no issue with breastfeeding most of my friends breastfed I've never had an issue with it even in public. However when you're in a formal setting with a ton of people around you could at least use a covering or step into another room momentarily or something. I don't feel like it was about anything sexual or even about anyone dogging her for breastfeeding again I think it was just because it was a formal setting

[@future.homesteader]

@@gachaluna2708 The post never said if she covered, was off in a corner, etc. just that she breastfed the baby at the reception. Both of my grandmothers & one of my aunts were uptight about breastfeeding & they would have basically complained the same way the OP did even though I always covered when nursing in public & even if I had been off in a quiet corner with my back towards the room. The fact that I breastfed was the offense, didn't matter how I did it. Sounds like OP is similar.

[@future.homesteader]

@@isaT The post never said if she covered, was off in a corner, etc. just that she breastfed the baby at the reception. Both of my grandmothers & one of my aunts were uptight about breastfeeding & they would have basically complained the same way the OP did even though I always covered when nursing in public & even if I had been off in a quiet corner with my back towards the room. The fact that I breastfed was the offense, didn't matter how I did it. Sounds like OP is similar.

[@meepmeep9033]

I agree with you 100%. It really makes me mad when people are calling Op the AH in this situation. Its natural but at a formal wedding really. She could of went to another room or something. Op wasn't thinking of her inappropriately she just wanted respect and modesty at her formal event.

[@aliciamae14]

The first one - my 1st marriage was for security, and I'm remarried for love. My 1st marriage was miserable, and now, while I have daily frustrations about money I am happy and at peace with my partner. We get through it day today together, which I could not have said for my first. Marrying for love is where it's at.

[@mustermann836]

As a breastfeeding mom when people don't feel comfortable around me while I'm feeding my child often I don't feel comfortable too. The groom could have provided a room for his sister so the baby can concentrate on drinking and not getting distracted by other guests and everyone could feel comfortable. Also what many people forget when talking about pumping milk is boobies produce milk while baby is not drinking so after a certain time they start hurting and leaking... Which means you would have to pump or breastfeed no matter what.

[@charlotteillustration5778]

At my grandfather’s funeral I was breastfeeding my one month old baby in the ladies rest room at the hotel where we were having the wake. I was made speechless by a woman who came in and harangued me for doing something ‘so dreadful when did I know that there was a funeral?’ I should have responded but was already bereaved because of losing my grandfather and was so shocked that she believed I was doing something dreadful - in as private a space as I could find.

[@omegasage777]

What a horrible person. There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby...and the baby doesn't know or care that there is a funeral. It's a baby. How ridiculous that she shamed you for that

[@pamelajohnson7813]

Wish I had been there so I could've said something to that awful woman!

[@spriggy4382]

Did you spray her with milk?

[@jodyhoo]

Best Episode Ever! All three were topics near to my heart. I missed nearly a year of weddings and celebrations because my baby would not take a bottle for anything!! And I was too ashamed by the smirks and stares to feed him in public. He’s 25 now, and still my best friend, but I don’t even remember whose weddings it was that I missed. As for those pesky wedding gifts, I think homemade gifts are the most memorable and cherished of them all. The best gifts come from the heart, not always the plastic. As for those petty little girls who aren’t yet engaged to their so-called fiancés…. Ladies, a good man is worth his weight in Gold. He treasurered her enough to wait. That’s actually love.

[@crystalsky1029]

I just gained SOOOO much more respect for you with the breastfeeding thing. Thank you!!! Thank you for speaking out on it, and saying not to sexualize it! Love you so much!!! I Start another nursing journey next month! So excited. 💙💙💜

[@ramachandra776]

"Realistically breasts are not for you . They exist to feed children" - Doctor Dobre 🙂 .

[@finalfight505]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/sH2ai4SXnb5jl8k Finally it's here.

[@mycreativeheart4159]

@@finalfight505 AYTA?... YES! ABSOLUTELY! YOU ARE!!

[@akanesaotome5924]

Especially not his SISTER'S breasts.

[@spiegeltn]

I was a Charlotte fan until the breast feeding at a wedding story and the double standards. We're humans, not cows, even tho Jonah 4 compares us to cows. Tell that heifer to keep those weapons of mass destraction to herself next time and stop playing the victim about everything. Of course all this is a joke and I'm kidding :), well... only half kidding, whatever that is. Bah duht tssss 😄

[@spiegeltn]

@@ShellyBellyBeans Guys are also dumb as a rock and get hypnotized by breasts way too easy, we will fall for the oldest trick in the book and look past soooo many red flags for a nice set of bongos.

[@KatelynDawn]

Re the cross-stitch story... a handmade wedding gift is amazing! My aunt made fabric flowers out of burlap for my bouquet! Not only that, she made them for my bridesmaids and even made boutonnieres for the groomsmen and my husband. They are TREASURED possessions. I didn't realize how long it took her to make them and am kind of embarassed that she worked that hard on something because I asked her to without realizing how long it took! She enjoyed it, but said it was a lot of work and it was going to be her gift. OMG OF COURSE!!! I will keep them and appreciate them forever.

[@CatsOverBrats]

What she needed? It's not people need a marriage. It's something you want. What a weird thing to try and shame someone for.

[@finalfight505]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/sH2ai4SXnb5jl8k Finally it's here.

[@edelleaa]

right?? nobody NEEDS to be married.. that's just ridiculous

[@loveeeliiie]

Living in a country where almost no one gets married, or do it after 3 kids, a house and a dog 😂 this is hilarious! 🤣

[@loramiller8290]

Having breastfed 3 children and worked as a lactation nurse for the last 5 years I want to say thank Charlotte! Understanding that babies have to eat and do not care where they are or who is around is something I hope our society will respect in general. I appreciate everything you said.

[@mxmothmanart]

Free original/personalized art and handicrafts from someone who's skilled is seriously one of the most valuable gifts someone can get.

[@vandaken3612]

I live in Africa where a woman breastfeeding in public is part of life. Public transport, baby hungry, out comes the breast for the baby to feed. No one ever complains as we all know from a young age that's how babies feed.

[@Mama_Bear524]

Sounds blissful. It was so hard being judged by family, friends, neighbours, strangers. So stressful

[@apollo21lmp]

in the last story, OP should not only drop the bride as a "friend" and not attend the wedding but she should also NOT give the bride the gift she asked for. she should remove any names and dates from it and either give it to a friend who will appreciate it or sell it, (or gift it), to someone else. (maybe someone who had attended the wedding or a family member of the bride, just to be petty)

[@finalfight505]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/sH2ai4SXnb5jl8k Finally it's here.

[@taylordavis5398]

Right? I would rather burn the thing than give it to the entitled bride.

[@heatherduke7703]

Unfortunately, it was probably custom framed and would be difficult to take apart. Not to mention that the threads leave marks in the fabric when you undo them… She should send it but cut her losses with this “friendship.” I would not attend the wedding

[@cristela4034]

@@infjandcoping4614 Yeah, if it's not a gift then the bride should pay for it.

[@Corso_pack]

So for my wedding my grandma embroidered a towel for my husband and I to stand on during the ceremony. That was her gift to us. I didn’t expect anything in addition and honestly I’m just thrilled that she made the trip for my wedding (from il to fl). I truly cherish that towel since even when she is gone I will always have it to remember her

[@dandybaabs8712]

Fun fact: newborns need to eat every 2-4 hours, we fed every 3 hours.

[@azure5273]

Exactly! Where the guy was complaining that his sister would breastfeed her baby everywhere, I was thinking, even she did feed her baby right before exiting her house for (for example) your parents home, considering the time arriving there, and her stay, it is still a big chance it passes the 2hours mark and the baby would need to eat... What an inconsiderate AHole... I hope his wife beats some sense into him. I'm glad people are more understanding if this now.

[@dandybaabs8712]

@@azure5273 yeah, she literally fed the baby before leaving. It would be horribly cruel to not feed that baby. So 🖕that dude

[@A_Borden_History]

When she does the judge charlotte voice im like "YES QUEEENNN!"

[@leahdelpezzo1364]

Charlottes video editors are amazing. Great timing and graphics. Makes the already wonderful, funny and entertaining Charlotte 5X more interesting. A+++ 💯💯💯

[@emilyb7062]

The other day at work, a woman asked me if there was a place she could go to nurse her baby. I told her that she could do it wherever she wanted to/felt comfortable with because I personally did not care. It’s sad that women feel the need to ask to feed their children

[@me2ontube]

no, what's sad is that people have no idea what etiquette or respect or courtesy even means anymore

[@mariamariafujoshiinurarea2524]

It s really sad , where i live breastfeeding is seen as a priority , the mom would just cover her breast to feed the kid if there is a man around or in public . If it s just women around she ll just get her breast out and feed her kid while talking to u and nobody sees that as weird or inappropriate