Re-Parenting - Part 64 - Love - Part 2 - More Misunderstandings

[@dianeorr8937]

All of your sessions need presented to organizations and rehabs. You are the best teacher in CPTSD in an understanding way. God bless you! He who has an ear hear. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

[@OliveWeitzel]

All my AMEN to your comment!

[@jolaola1987]

AMEN!

[@geoffreycurrieIII]

I use these videos in stages. 1. take the video topic and write the info down. 2. i reflect on the experiences I had. 3. I think of solutions (inner child work, self-care talk) 4. I create new constructs for myself. (this is how I now think of myself, and if I'm not quite at that point, for whatever reason, i'm going to get myself there.)

[@jolaola1987]

How is this self loving action working for you ? After 4 months of giving you so much attention you must've noticed some positive changes. So how you doing friend?😊

[@lc3487]

This should be taught in education!

[@neilknowsnuthin]

If the child is taking drugs, stealing from parents , and causing chaos in the home, its the parents that are responsible. That doesnt mean that you cant enforce the extreme boundary, but more important is for the parent to determine where they went wrong, and how they messed up their parenting so badly

[@johndangerbenedictarnold7862]

Extreme boundaries killed my little brother. He couldn’t stop doing drugs and was forced to sleep under a bridge when they kicked him out and was killed. He had two parents with disposable income and they choose to kick him out.

[@joeldejonge2986]

I'd keep using it if my parents were like that too. Extremely sorry for your loss. Hope you're doing all right.

[@michelehennessy2086]

It's very painful to lose someone you love die to addiction. I'm in long term recovery and my family did nothing to help me get sober nor have they done anything over the past 31 years to support my recovery or learn how to heal the FAMILY DISEASE. Sending you light and love..

[@TinaColby-bd7mb]

My heart goes out 2 u. Some go 2 extreme with tough love.

[@kdjourney51]

That- is the most nuanced explanation of love I’ve ever heard. It speaks to me and my partner, to me and our daughter, and to me and my parents. It is so delicate, leaning into love. Asking for love. And having the wisdom to give love. It was not a language I learned… and I’m grateful, to learn it here and have the words. 🙏🏼❤️

[@alexxx4434]

Shocking how Tim changes perspective when talking about a child addicted to drugs, and says that's THEIR conscious choice. Making an excuse to kick them out. Wow.

[@neilknowsnuthin]

"They did the best they could with the knowledge they had" is not a valid excuse for parenting mistakes.

[@briieme]

This is the best video about love types and mistakes I've heard. I relate so strongly to this. Thank you for sharing

[@Nathja83]

I agree with, and value almost everything that is said in this video BUT - because there is a BIG BUT!!! No one that has had a healthy childhood with real connection, come to become addicts like it’s exemplified (approx. 37.00) in context to boundaries and kicking one’s child out. -that kind of relational wealth, keeps anyone’s brain from choosing to get their needs met by drugs, instead of real connection. It’s all abut how the reward system in the brain works. If your cup is full, due to connection, one is much less likely to try drugs. - AND if one does it anyway, he/she are much more likely to be somewhat indifferent to the high, than someone whom has an empty cup.. Drug abuse is a way to cope with severe pain. - that kinda pain that comes from growing up WITHOUT having ones basic needs met.

[@alexxx4434]

Yeah, I'm shocked with what Tim says in thar part. As if he totally forgot himself.

[@lanishortsunshine5773]

Ive been enjoying your views ....thank u...tim f. Love these...info sessions.....

[@OliveWeitzel]

It's crazy, but my spiritual needs were met first. My emotional needs were never met ; my grandma, who had adopted me, because her daughter was the greater narcissist, was traumatized by two world wars; she gave me a very tough motional education - to "make me ready for this tough life". Oh, I could write a book....

[@munimuni1385]

Great explained the unconditional love!❤

[@ChrisOgunlowo]

Thank you 🙏🏽

[@alexxx4434]

Trauma bonding description in this video is completely incorrect. In short, trauma bonding occurs when someone experiencing abuse develops an attachment for their abuser.

[@mayamichelle6741]

There’s more than one type of trauma bonding. What you are describing is called Stockholm Syndrome.

[@alexxx4434]

@@mayamichelle6741 There is an article on the wikipedia explaining the term in detail. No alternative "readings". What Tim described is what I assumed it was when I first heard of the term. Maybe Tim just didn't do his research on the topic.

[@wendywright5486]

Omg The thrill of the chase was so exciting 38yr later & he finally passed very Slowly. And painfully.And for the example to the grandchildren that didn't know that person I moved bagain to care give it was brutal but the 3yr chase Was a total challenge and so exhilarating

[@C-Span222]

Thank you!😊

[@truthministry7462]

Powerful

[@geoffreycurrieIII]

At the same time, you can't say 'well they didn't love me exactly the way I expected or expect, therefore I was neglected or abused or should feel sorry for myself'. Why? It's an ungrateful attitude. You can go to that parent and express it, but chances are they will respond defensively because they want to feel that they were a good parent. You can instead say 'in what ways did your mom love you', for example. It would be enlightening I"m sure.

[@cassiedavis2218]

This is probably the only video I’ve watched of these lectures where I strongly disagree with any part of it. I did find the beginning useful/insightful, but at the mention of kicking a child out just for using drugs (meaning there isn’t any behavior that is harmful to the parents, like no stealing, no disrespect or abusive language or anything like that, perhaps them being high or using isnt even that noticeable to the parents but somehow one day the parents discover evidence) to just kick them out on the basis of “you did a thing I don’t agree with” seems crazy harsh to me and there is nothing loving about it. Then farther in the video to insist that the child/person who used drugs or developed an addiction is the person who is guilty of destroying the relationship/connection, to suggest that the parents are just doing their best basically and genuinely are open-hearted and wanting to connect to their child but can’t because the child, by using drugs or developing an addiction, made it impossible to connect….I find baffling and sad to hear from this channel. Most of the people I’ve met who struggle with drugs or addiction came from households where their parents were the exact opposite of open-hearted and loving. They come from families that did not want to connect to them, that no matter how good of a kid they were, it was never enough. There’s people out there who quietly maintain an addiction without treating the people around them abusively or stealing from them, so-called “functional addicts” who do their absolute best to not hurt the people around them. They just want to be able to manage their own life and emotions, to attempt to be able to meet their own needs the best or only way they know how. Some people live in an environment where they have no real connection, they’ve never really known love, they have few if any resources on their own to be able to leave or get the help they would require to be able to survive on their own somewhere away from their family of origin. If all you need in life to be able to keep surviving another day is the feeling of a warm hug, something that nobody around you would ever be willing to give you and likely would mock you or belittle you for even asking, how is it the fault of the child/person struggling in this scenario for leaning on the only thing that feels like a big warm hug when they can’t get a real warm hug? Maybe I heard him wrong and this comment is off base, but that is what it sounded like to me and I just find it tragic that someone with so much insight and wisdom to share could be so quick to essentially victim-blame and absolve that person’s parents or family of wrongdoing. I’ve met addicts that are just garbage people through and through, but they aren’t the majority and even they often come from parents who were not kind or open-hearted or wanting connection with them. Parents of addicts aren’t all victims.

[@ray3san]

He talks about the damage the addict causes to the family/other siblings. It can be abusive and criminal. I've witnessed this, where the addict is over 30 years old. So sad, but it seemed dangerous and irresponsible to let the person stay in the home.

[@mayamichelle6741]

@@ray3san30 years old is not the age of a child.

[@nayaleezy]

You're wrong about substance use. There's a difference between abuse and use.

[@ladyen225]

I respect the cptsd part but to say this man is a christian is complete crap and should NOT be speaking about the Bible. John 3:16 is definitely NOT a coded message and anyone who actually reads the Bible for what it is would know this message is heresy.

[@Arbitraryusername]

Are you God? No? That’s right… you’re just an arrogant Christian passing you’re own garbage judgement against others. You are the kind of Christian that drives people away. Go sit down with the rest of the Karens.

[@Abi-or6hn]

Who are you to decide who a Christian is or not?

[@ladyen225]

@@Abi-or6hn Errrr, a Christian that actually abides by the Bible and it's doctrine.

[@raeanneegan6191]

You are not God and in no place to judge.

[@KBArchery]

You misunderstood him. He said when sports players have 3:16 on them (tattoos, written on eyelids) he said that is code for believe in Jesus or you will not have eternal life. He is definitely a Christian