Re-Parenting - Part 12 - Inner Child - Part 1

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Many find inner child work to be an important part of their journey of healing from trauma. But what are people referring to when they talk about their inner child?
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[@awakenedreflections]

A million words couldn't express my gratitude for this series.

[@nga672]

Ditto!

[@user-zp4kr9vo5j]

❤I enjoy what I'm listening to. What a talented helpful man you are Tim. Thank you so much.❤

[@michaelsager5688]

All of these videos have been so above and beyond anything I could have hoped to expect. This one has been very enlightning. Thank you Tim!

[@Heidi_K_Girl_444]

I agree!

[@Elaine-uc4un]

Amazing video and information. I cant thank you enough

[@melaniehassler2405]

Ditto! Each and every video is a deep dive, no repeats. I love how he announces when the christian-focused therapy starts. Sets a very high bar and frankly better than any "therapy" I've found.

[@valeriebutler908]

I've never felt so understood, even by myself. I take a lot of this material in and work through it with my therapist. A million thanks to Mr. Fletcher for creating and sharing this series for free. You're truly an example of God's love for us all ❤

[@excellentchoices]

I’m 31 minutes in and wow…. Wow…. Thank you……Thank you for all I’m learning….. I’m looking forward to learning the “healing steps “ when I get to listen next … thank you for explaining things so clearly…. I’m trusting God through the hard and the easy and what a gift from God you are … thank you….

[@Heidi_K_Girl_444]

What a gift you have given the world through your love and care to serve God and help us heal. God Bless you!

[@JuliaShalomJordan]

This series has been helping me so much. God bless you.❤

[@Kiki-mt7iz]

The message on Boaz and Ruth is so beautiful. Thank you

[@Lyrielonwind]

I couldn't understand it. I guess I have missed some videos.

[@valeriebutler908]

That's my favorite story in the Bible. Little me wants to find my Boaz so badly

[@emiliorodriquez5677]

Thank you for saving my life every day

[@kristenmerrill-nl2dh]

So nice to see your subscriber numbers moving up!! I’ve always been surprised your videos are not exploding on you tube because your gift of explaining these topics is unmatched!

[@djlykaen]

For those that don't get it, check out The Kid (bruce willis movie) really gave an image of what the relationship with the inner child could be

[@Lyrielonwind]

I'll check it out. Thanks 😊

[@amberbryan9125]

I need to put on some serious work... For sure...this is making me SUPER DEPRESSED 😢😮 THANK YOU FOR THIS❤

[@Lyrielonwind]

It's not nice to know how much hurt we are carrying... although it's necessary. I'm glad I'm making some sense in a more coherent way than what I have been doing in years of searching channels and articles. Saludos desde España 🇪🇦

[@jacoyat1542]

This video popped up to me right in the midst of a time where EVERYTHING he said applied :/ wow.. grateful for this.

[@theforeigner6988]

Same here

[@leeboo23]

What I notice with a lot of the clients that I work with that have a wounded inner child is that they are stuck in "perpetual tantrum/acknowledge my pain" mode. Repetitively returning to their neglectors (usually their parents & family) over and over and over again. They essentially get stuck in a loop of staying frozen at a younger age, stomping their foot, BEGGING and insisting their neglectors step it up and acknowledge them. I myself used to embody that. Up until about age 40 all I could do was attempt to "out" my narcissistic mother and enabling father, and try to force/beg/make them acknowledge my pain and parent me the right way. In this state I displayed many personality traits and perceptions that were that of a 12-16 year old as well. The way I overcame this and what I help my therapy clients with now is this: 1) STOP standing there stomping your foot, tantruming, insisting and forcing your low-empathy neglectors to actually give AF about you. They don't. Radically accept that you are beating a dead and unresponsive horse. Your neglectors couldn't handle your feelings then and they still can't. You have to Radically accept that begging and insisting your neglectors to nurture you is utterly pointless. 2) It's time to grow up. I know how harsh and insensitive that sounds but as someone who's wounded inner child navigated my life and screwed up my life, trust me. Sometimes we need to be gentle but firm with this immature part of ourselves. My wounded inner child became very immature and entitled over time. By the time I was in my 30s this part of me was ruling my life and, just like an actual 12 year old, kind of had a hard time recognizing that the world didn't revolve around me. 3) RE-PARENTING. This 100%. It's time to start taking care of yourself and listening to yourself. It's also time to find support through therapy and support groups. It's also time to find supportive friends that actually care about you and your feelings. And it's Also time to recognize that as an adult, the people in your life want to have a relationship with Adult-You, not little you.

[@JS-go8vt]

John Bradshaw was a brilliant man. I had the opportunity to attend one of workshops. Very powerful work. I’m grateful to him and his work. ❤

[@honestandfair1572]

Thank you Tim so appreciate you and your dedication to us. ❤love

[@ThabangKaotsane-hm2wf]

Production and animation are both ideal for all my projects since I rap, sing and write inspiring stories.

[@DigitalCasm]

Things worth googling if you think you might have CPTSD. The Body Keeps the Score Pete Walker Dr. Ramani Dr. Les Carter Crappy Childhood Fairy Tim Fletcher's Re-parenting series.

[@dnk4559]

And Patrick Teahan LICSW is also really good. I have found the rest you listed so very helpful.

[@TheRealMonnie]

Dr. Ramani helped me SO much. I didn't know I was part of the cult of being an adult child of narcissists. I was able to free myself because of her. Thank you Jesus. I'm excited for her book to come out in February.

[@elainehiggins713]

I don’t care for Dr. Ramani at all. She seems arrogant, enjoys being angry at narcissists and apparently likes creating a cliche of narcissist haters (haters of narcissists). I think I’m tired of hating. It can become tiresome after a while. Time for self love, which doesn’t including hating or resenting others.

[@DigitalCasm]

​@@elainehiggins713 I feel you. I look forward to being at a point in my healing when I can leave Dr. Ramani behind.​

[@sunnygirl6782]

So glad I’ve come across your videos! Thank You so much for helping others to Heal with these videos. ❤❤❤

[@emusic96785]

Many thanks from NW Wisconsin on Lake Superior. ☃️

[@sonnajensen4824]

Thank you so much ❤

[@lonefaolan6042]

I have abandoned myself so much, I don’t even know what I really want. All my desires have died. I don’t see the point in living.

[@natalierussell7491]

I understand that . Keep up with these videos . Rooting for you ❤️‍🩹

[@KimKay-of6ur]

These videos are helping me and are very insightful! I’m very grateful ‼️😊💯

[@courtneylove1981]

This is a great video! I love learning the ‘why’ behind my cptsd struggles. Emdr has allowed me to really connect to my inner child-in ways I never thought possible. It began as the saddest thing I’ve ever experienced but it’s morphed into one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. After 8 months of emdr I’m almost done, and moving into my next phase of healing. Thank you for your amazing content!

[@tearthangel373]

Thank you Tim

[@annagerebo6561]

Thank you so much!

[@Courgette65]

I feel that being a ‘defiant child’ has been beneficial to my inner child

[@HappyHolyHealthyLife]

Excellent message 🥰

[@kathy1001]

Thank you so much ❤🙏

[@rinnosekai]

thank you for this ❤

[@ChrisOgunlowo]

Thank you 🙏🏽

[@indigo_dreamz]

Thank you❤

[@truthministry7462]

Powerful

[@alexandrugheorghe5610]

Yep, I need to do some serious work.

[@kurt6410]

please explain the correlation between complex trauma and oral sex. I've never heard that before and it just sounds really strange

[@Star-dj1kw]

❤ excellent

[@annamaria9899]

Thanks a lot ❤❤❤

[@autumnclark7644]

That God for this man

[@brithansgen534]

The main problem I see with all of this is that it assumes all of these problems started in childhood. These are problems and phases that we can all go through at some point as a result of specific traumas - whether they happen in childhood or not. Adults can manifest a lot of this later in life as well. It's easier to see then, and easier to get out of. But just because you may be going through some of these symptoms now doesn't mean you always were. And also.... just because I make this comment here doesn't mean I don't value this material. Same thing, really. But specifically - don't forget that if you said yes to certain things now that weren't always true... those things are more temporary. Identify the ones that started happening recently. Those habits and thought patterns will be the easiest to kick.

[@Lyrielonwind]

I loved the talk, although painful but I got lost in the second part about the story of Boza, the redeemer...😮 In some moments, the talk about the inner child reminds me of the shadow (Jung) and I have always thought that some psychologists fail to explain that the shadow has treasures in it and the people who are not psychologist have the idea that the shadow are all the nasty parts of ourselves and patients get overwhelmed about having a psychologist saying: "you have to talk/ integrate...whatever...about your shadow" when we don't even know what the heck it is. I've felt so pressured by a psychologist that I told her that I was not in the mood to "invent" monsters inside of me just because she wanted to. I've felt pressured to say "I have a Gollum, a Smaug, a Saruman, a Nazgul and all the orcs together inside me". She was pissed 😡 at me but I'm glad I quit my sessions with her. It's so hard to understand that, although a patient might have some notions about psychology (in my case, Transactional analysis, Eric Berne) but I didn't study the career? She drove me crazier because I was very confused and she threw at me stuff like IFS I couldn't understand... but the worst was she was New Age and believed "constellations" and that really made me quit but I don't have any regrets about that decision. I have found today (I had suspicion) another guy who has a channel about narcissism and the guy was talking about certain kind of empowered women who were "used material"...I told him that's objectifying women or the kind he doesn't like but it sounds really narcissistic. Anyway, sorry for the long comment, and I appreciate your work. It's helping me to make sense of many concepts I couldn't grasp. Thanks again 😊

[@beatefuhrer9688]

Yes, it's a life long commitment, but it's also that always our best choice and chance to walk with this inner trust, love and peace, with good values we entablish in our own life, feel good and self-confident and nurturing this values through our own self-respect and action!? We live what we are, and our reflection is hopefully a nice light full or at least a helpful mirror, too. We can learn always to become our best version. God loves us. It's never his fault if we fail, but we have to learn to forgive ourselves us, too. Of course others in the same manner. I think so, it's a part of a healthy insight and habit, we have to understand and accept in an inner agreement. Perfection is not the goal, but to be a real human dignity vividly lived and loved, shared in this sense. Our Best try is developing a higher Consciousness, a "Christ Consciousness". What is itself a life long expirience to work it out, too. We do it all for living in a better world, if we create it together, basically from the bottom of our hearts and in common sense, yes than it's possible. Thank you, what a great lesson. Best greetings from my Heart. Beate ❤️

[@tearthangel373]

I will loose my life for living in Truth and authentically

[@minajeetjemineetje3002]

Where can I find the explanation about the connection between inner child trauma and oral sex?

[@jcepri]

This is incredibly helpful. I''m just wondering how the part after 36:23 relates to the talk about the inner child.

[@Guardiangdsd]

Negative ending I won’t have a negative relationship with the parts I abandoned or my wounded self because I asked myself for forgiveness

[@lioness7522]

Tim - where you said we have work to do if our score is more than 10 on one of the questionnaires - is that a score of 10 overall - or a score of over 10 on each section e.g. identity, basic needs etc.?

[@TimFletcher]

Overall

[@lioness7522]

Thanks Tim - I still have a lot of work to do… ! Thanks so much for these free videos - there is no free access to current trauma information in the UK so please continue to make your information available for free. I am paying for two therapists at the moment , am at risk of losing my job and am doing the best I can to grow - your videos are the most comprehensive, current and clear explanations I have found and they are making the world of difference to my understanding and resulting ability to change and grow. You and your service are very much needed - thank you to you all for you do.

[@kevinbissinger]

@@lioness7522 you might also want to look into autism. if you're a woman its harder to diagnose, but if you've been diagnosed as bipolar or borderline is worth checking out. You might have s different baseline to shoot for in that case.

[@Amalya88]

This one with checklists gave me a panic attack. Because it wasn’t exactly explicit as to the frequency of thoughts. Or how that applies to you if you are in an emotionally, sexually and spiritually deprived relationship right now. If you have had any weird thoughts - ever - does that mean you are a freak? I got quite upset and confused about these check points.

[@maverickbull1909]

I’m halfway through and not seeing any solutions. I get it. We’re messed up. I know that. How do we fix it? How do we actually re parent?

[@TheKingdomofHeavenisHere]

Gotta keep going through the series. The next ones are out now. I feel you though. At first i was getting super upset listening to this dude. It's alot of valuable info but I'm way past the point of knowing what the problems are...i need solutions

[@ts3858]

@@TheKingdomofHeavenisHere yeah it's long and drawn- out info...OCD...

[@JT0007]

Where did all your videos go? 🇺🇸

[@Chai.biscuit]

24:49 32:29

[@rickp.6251]

Are emotions limbic or cortex?

[@kathy1001]

Limbic

[@lukedegraaf1186]

Two of mine; vegans and christians...

[@RayneyKayLa]

I dont mean to be vulgar--but what is the part he mentioned about oral sex? I have a friend girl whom confided in me that she only likes to give oral sex vs receiving it. I thought it was weird --maybe people pleasing behavior?

[@peggygarcia1131]

27:00

[@jamieheywood426]

I’ve a ton of these videos I want to know what is normal 😢😂

[@tearthangel373]

I expressed my boundaries and lost contact with my Granddaughters

[@JT0007]

You’re the grandma? Start writing them letters every week. They’ll come around.

[@tearthangel373]

@@JT0007 I am respecting the parents boundaries as well as my own. When the girls are old enough they will be free to reach out freely

[@JT0007]

@@tearthangel373 How else do I say this…YOU made the mistakes. That they don’t talk to you is YOUR problem. So waste your life and do nothing and your grandkids never know you. Good job 🤷🤦

[@tearthangel373]

@@JT0007 I have no control over how others feel or react to my healthy boundaries

[@JT0007]

@@tearthangel373 Actually, yes you do. You’re at fault and your boundaries aren’t setup correctly. They are your kids. Admit you’re wrong and get on with life. Go know your grandkids. My mom is doing what you are and deciding not to know us. I speak from loved experience.

[@Saskiequelle]

11:00

[@davidlanier2290]

Trying to watch - ads !!!! Point - almost then Ad ad ad , back to ???? Lost trainof thought due to ads!!!

[@SindanSeen]

9:40

[@sparklingloveandlight]

Couldnt show sadness or anger

[@ponysong2006]

Ouch these questions. I'm in this video and I don't like it. I start LIFT online Mar 21st is anyone joining me?

[@michelerunyon9593]

Or your parents beat your emotions out of you.

[@IrishGal690]

No idea what the desire oral sex question has to do with anything.. please explain?

[@MillenialWanderer]

The only thing I can think about is how in psychology there is an oral phase for infants. “oral stage, in Freudian psychoanalytic theory, initial psychosexual stage during which the developing infant's main concerns are with oral gratification. The oral phase in the normal infant has a direct bearing on the infant's activities during the first 18 months of life.”

[@evmagdalena9206]

This was so enlightening for myself...I need to do some serious work. I really am thankful for these videos ❤❤