Things people don't realize are rude to say! | Episode 141

One thing we’re sure about this episode is that everyone will relate and everyone needs to watch it 🫢
We’re humans guys and it’s Soo many times that we could be saying something (knowingly or unknowingly) and the other party takes offense… on todays episode we will be talking about what exactly are this tu-statements people should just STOP saying 🤐🤐
Make sure you also share some of your own experiences in the comments respectfully and enjoy the episode 🤎
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[@paulayator985]

Someone talked about “the five minute rule” when it comes to commenting about someone’s image. He said, “before making a comment about someone’s image during a conversation, first ask yourself if they can do something about it in the next five minutes. If yes, say it. If not, then shut it!🤐” I agree!!!

[@miss_flincy]

L0p

[@immaculatemwangi3099]

I agree with you. I also saw the same thing somewhere else…so nowadays I ask myself, if I comment about your outfit, hair, etc will you be able to change it rn? If not, there’s no need for me to make you walk around self consious.

[@missodhiambo6463]

As an introvert, always being asked, "Aki you're quiet. Do you talk?" Nkt

[@loisewacuka6847]

I can relate to this 💯 It's so annoying 😒😒

[@Juliet-Mugo]

That's why I avoid being around people, wakifika watu watatu I start feeling uncomfortable and ends up leaving

[@carolmutua5266]

I legitimately grew up all my life thinking I was weird or something was wrong with me because people always asked me this. It was only until I learnt about introverts and extroverts that I became comfortable with my nature.

[@cathrinewanjiru1348]

Another thing about being quiet is being mistaken to being proud.. like she is so proud she doesn't talk to people especially when I was young

[@Asalix2]

I once went to a pub and some white man came up to our group. He told me "I don't date black women, but if I did, you would be it!" My response, "I wouldn't date you if you were the last man in the universe!" He promptly walked away without saying another word!

[@petronillahmatheri3947]

😂😂😂😂

[@irenekabithi]

Gosh... I'm 5'7 and 56 kgs so when I go to the gym I always hear comments like " Aki ningekuwa natoshana hivyo singelipia gym" or " Sasa unakuja gym kufanya nini?" I dislike these comments soo much. It's about me... my health&body. I should not have explain myself to anyone.

[@kazmorich]

They assume that people go to the gym to loose fat and not to maintain their healthy

[@tadiwanashet]

I am with Lydia on how shaming and not valuing Stay at home Mums draws feminism back. The goal of feminism is affirming the right of women to choose. You can choose to be a Boss babe, you can choose to be a housewife, you can choose a mix of both. All choices are valid.

[@surpeleisurpelei7501]

That has more to do with capitalism than feminism. Everything now demands money, including giving birth, and with the escalating cost of living and with zero social nets to protect child rearing, very few will actually have the option of having a one-income home.

[@ritamunyiva]

I once shared with a friend about how my dad isn't treating me right and how sometimes I feel like I'm fatherless... Their response was " he's still your dad at the end of the day, you're supposed to love him". My flabbers were gasted, I've just told you how he's being a beast to me and all you can say is "he's your dad!" Tell him to treat me like his child then I'll start thinking about him as my dad

[@sharonnyakoa7490]

I feel you on this... I have had the same experience... You have a shitty dad who treats you like shit but if you talk about it people are quick to tell you "he is your father, you are supposed to respect him" why doesn't he treat me well I decided, fuck society I don't want a relationship with someone who doesn't appreciate my presence

[@NjorogeNjeri]

Girl! This statement makes me boil with anger.The society is toxic, apparently people aren't allowed to be bitter or distance themselves from parents who wronged them as kids 🤦🏾‍♀️ sickening. They must be held accountable for their mistakes. I refuse to let it slide,they should be the bigger person

[@genuinejay7696]

Having acne is a battle we fight on a daily basis, please refrain from recommending products because trust me we have tried it all (recommend when asked to do so only).

[@carriemuriuki]

We've even visited dermatologists 🤦 Damn!

[@lucywachira4085]

Yes please,we've tried

[@AllThingsLindo]

This!! And our hairline 😢 please leave us, we are more than hair that doesn't start on our foreheads!

[@lilyjay3817]

This! My child has acne issues, and I can't tell you how many times I get DMs about taking her to this and that specialist, trying this and that product!! Omg

[@JoyWatiri-wk5th]

This ...omG I am glad someone said it

[@Irene-sg7bj]

When you give birth, women ask you if it was normal. No man asks you if the birth was normal. They just know you gave birth. EVERY BIRTH IS NORMAL! It might be ceserian or vaginal but all births are normal.

[@didiash]

Not all births are normal. Some are complex and need intervention

[@rosemarykairu7056]

Maybe meaning natural vs cecerian

[@wanizsharon]

I have sisters with very light skin, and as I grew up, I often wished I had the same complexion. My childhood and high school best friends were also light-skinned so I never felt like I was beautiful enough.However, one thing that stuck with me is how my mother would tell me I was beautiful every single day. I don't think she realized the impact her words had on me, but because of her constant affirmation, I began to appreciate myself more.Then, as I realized that even light-skinned girls faced challenges similar to those of dark-skinned girls, it made me reflect. I worried that life might be unfair to me in the future because of my darker skin tone. So,Murugi, always tell or remind your daughter that she is beautiful. Always

[@soniahquish4158]

I'm glad at least your mum said positive things about you. I grew up chubby and my mum would always be among people calling me big. During high school and uni she would ask me, are there other big girls like you out there? She made me feel like I was the biggest thing she's ever seen in her life. She is a good mum but until this day she will make such comments even during my pregnancy. I'm just sad I don't know how to stop her because I grew where adults are not questioned. I'm learning to accept myself as I am but I hate it my own mum makes such comments

[@TheMisswity]

***Stop Commenting on People's Food! I worked at an organization with several restaurants, and we would often eat together. I have a medical condition that requires me to only eat boiled, non-spiced food-no onions, garlic, tomatoes, or meat at times. If I made the mistake of eating restaurant food during bad times, I would feel dizzy and suffer internal bleeding. It was not good! Most of the time, I had to carry my own food. My friends made me feel bad about what I was eating, and every lunchtime, I became the topic of discussion. This led me to separate from them and eventually kick them out of my life. They picked on me so much that I felt rejected by my body and my friends, which led to depression. After removing them and leaving the toxic environment, I am doing much better. People should stop talking about what others are eating; they don't know what people are going through. Thank you for addressing this TMI.

[@Everlyn-cb1ip]

I can speak on the topic of colorism and its impact because I've experienced it. There are some events I can easily remember, like when a school teacher or a child made a comment. However, as an adult, I've realized that the impact of subtle acts is much deeper. It messes you up. Long story short, I had been in therapy for a while for work-related issues and wasn't making any headway. So I tried combining it with hypnotherapy, which triggered some memories. Truthfully, I could only remember a few, but my tears wouldn't stop flowing for almost 24 hours. I would stop, and then I'd get this urge to cry, and it wouldn't stop. In the next session (an emergency session), my therapist told me she realized I wanted so much out of life, but something was holding me back. We both realized that somewhere in the back of my mind, whenever an opportunity came up, I would subconsciously wait for the lighter/prettier person to reject it before I went for it. If they said something in a meeting, I would automatically assume I couldn't say something contradictory. I would excuse them in line so they could go ahead of me. You get the gist. (Note that consciously, I don't believe lighter is necessarily prettier, but subconsciously, it's a whole other story.) So, at my big age, in a six-figure job, my brain was using looks to determine whether to speak, take up a role, or disagree with something. All this to say that my tiny innocent head had concluded at a young age that lighter means prettier, which means 'better than me.' This came from the fact that school teachers often chose the lighter girl to be the class prefect, people were nicer to them even at the salon, they were picked to play by other children, and people smiled at them. Most people do it subconsciously; others are outright colorists, but the impact is the same. I am now much better since the realization. I now know when the thought comes up. If your child is asking this question, my assumption is that her brain might be starting to create this belief that lighter is better (this is a huge assumption and I could be wrong-I’m not a therapist, but I am a certified brain coach). You can take her to a fun child psychologist so they can explore it. They will most likely know the right things to say and how deeply ingrained the thought is. I'm glad you brought up the topic😊.

[@katiemugure2354]

Since I started listening to TMI i've honestly outgrown some things

[@sheilarisper1922]

TMI University literally😍😍 love it!!!

[@nzisaa]

​@@sheilarisper1922 University of life🤭

[@WynnieK]

Same sis.You can never be the same.

[@lindaawuor1446]

💯

[@yvonnemukiri119]

Same here

[@The_Introverted_Pisces]

I am an introvert and I find it rude when people make some statements about our nature. For example, "nyinyi introverts ni kujifanya hua mnajifanya tu" or "introverts mnakuanga na maringo" From my perspective, I see it as judgment of something that I am not capable of changing. People can't change their personality type. Personally, I don't feel like talking to anyone most of the time. I don't even have the urge/ need to connect with other people. And it's not because I hate people or anything. I just feel okay and satisfied being a loner.

[@WynnieK]

I agree 💯.

[@irenekinyanjui8789]

Agreed. Also why are you so quiet?

[@the.victorgeorge]

​@@irenekinyanjui8789This one kwanza. You are so quiet, you should talk more..stop being shy

[@The_Introverted_Pisces]

@@irenekinyanjui8789 very annoying....Like that's my nature. Ata nkijaribu kutaftililia story za kuongea naskianga tu nastruggle 🤣🤣

[@carolinenganga3965]

I had a fight with a coleague about this inthe office yesterday....i just couldnt tolerate being told to be like everyone else inthe office anymore😢

[@roziebaybe1626]

Dear Murugi, affirm that girl kabisa. Apparently our women who bleach 9/10 times it's from childhood. It starts with those little comments like Lydia stated "rangi ya thao" there's a lady who was on Lynn's channel a while back(bleached) who said growing up she was ALWAYS jeolous of her mom and step sisters coz they're light skinned and she's(was) dark skinned. It's deeper than we think❤

[@roziebaybe1626]

Erika of Mary Mary just recently had this whole thing with her dark skinned teenage daughter. And the Internet was actually coming for her... *look it up*

[@AllThingsLindo]

Hey babe - What does "Rangi ya thao" mean?

[@roziebaybe1626]

@AllThingsLindo hey girl, so "thao" is our short for a THOUSAND and our a thousand shillings note is brown in colour hence *rangi ya thao aka light skin* hope I explained clearly

[@AllThingsLindo]

@@roziebaybe1626 I completely get it! Thank you for responding 🌸

[@princessly_precious]

​@@AllThingsLindoits a phrase to mean light skin. Like color thats considered of high value like money 😅

[@basemathchepkirui9997]

Murugi, colourism in kenya is really high.. You'll think coz it's an African nation it should be less but have you seen how they troll on social media? Especially darker women? They'll see two beautiful women, but one who's darker ndio ataitwa Kienyeji, not coz she doesn't dress nicely or speak nicely or any other thing but just coz they are dark Have you seen how men talk about wanting light skin women more than darker giving people the pressure to bleach? Ask people who have been to sales person interviews and the promotions jobs and they'll tell you how the lightskinned had higher chances than the dark ones... Just alot, colourism in Kenya Acha tu😢

[@teresiamaina9573]

100 percent true

[@kazmorich]

true but kienyeji is not to darker women. Men will say they want lighter skin women but when darker skinned ones bleach they get insulted.

[@basemathchepkirui9997]

@@kazmorich I get your point on what kienyeji means, but get me a lightskin woman ameitwa kienyeji, none.. Just go through comments on social when you get post relating to that and see who gets called kienyeji only dark skinned..

[@nancyschmeer124]

Interesting Conversation and a great topic today- one which everyone ( I assume ) can relate to. I was a skinny toddler and also skinny in my teenage years. I was really mobbed at primary school, as a result my self- worth and self-esteem suffered alot. I was always compared alot to my sister, who is fair skin and has that hourglass ⌛️ figured. My Sister never experienced this ... Looking back, I think I was ashamed of being her sister. I felt guilty for my skin colour and generally not adding weight. People would ask me ( Adults too), are you sure you are not adopted 🙄. At home my mother did not make situation better, she would complain in front of everyone- " I dont know what to feed, unakula na sijui mahali unapeleka chakula. I felt like it was my fault...I was determined to add weight at all cost. Ungeniambia nikunywe mafuta nitanona- hivyo ndivyo ningefanya. Fast words: I hit 23 years,still darker skin tone, still slim, a mother of 2 girls, and in a foreign country - Germany. Then complements left - right and center from Germans 😅. Nobody has has ever complemented me before- so I enjoyed it for a while. They would ask me my workout routine ( mimi nifanye sports nikufe) they complement my skin tone. I must admit- and sometimes I am ashamed to say that most opportunities I became were because of my skin tone. The world can be a crazy place- one continent I am condemned and discrimiated because of how I was born, and the next I am loved and respected for it😢. It is not a good feel. I always tell my daughters, we are more than our skin colour. Our Values and Characters should count more and advocate for us. But the society has chosen destructive ways of judging others by their looks. On Arrival to Germany my sister unfortunately didn't have the same luck. The beautiful hour glass figure is not very much respected here. I always remind her to strive for a healthy body and love herself first. I became a mother again ( mixed race) and added some weight. I love my body and won't let anyone talk negatively about it. My *ss bigger, and it won't stop. But I am happy. One day I visited a concert in Stuttgart and met a Kenyan in the rest room... She spoke with me in Luo and refused to believe that I am from central. This body shaming/ glorify doesn't just stop. I visited my family back home and everyone was just shocked, they kept asking me what I am doing, shamelessly telling me turn around and show them my behind- unfortunately siwezi tukana my mum na shosho yangu So unanyamaza tu. Now they are proud of me 😢 Lately, I held a conversation with my last born daughter. I told her, her biological dad( my husband) is not biological dad to her sisters. To say she was shocked would be an understatement. At the end, she said, " Mama, now I understand why my skin is refusing to turn brown like yours - I want to look like you😂. She opened up to me that she used to wonder when her turn would be to turn brown😂. I was shocked that a kindergarten child would think of such things😢. I told her we are a family, even if her skin tone is different than mine - it doesn't matter, never mattered and love her the same - from moon and back ❤ As for me, I have seen the both sides of a coin, and know how it feels- so I don't let anyone talk about others or negatively about their body in my presence. I always affirm myself that that there is a season for everything. This season, I am like this, and I am ENOUGH❤

[@brie2545]

Wueh it's been a wild ride but I'm glad you overcame. I'm a firstborn & i have two sisters who happen to have hour glass figures. I'm skinny & I've struggled with people commenting on my weight & telling me that i should eat and look like my sisters🙄🙄. I've gone through extreme lengths to gain weight but it never worked😂. Someone close to me said they felt embarrassed to be seen with me because of how skinny i was & i once dated smne who said i should eat more coz he didn't want skinny kids😂😂💔. Anyways I'm slowly learning to love myself & just understanding my body type & dressing according to it!

[@kazmorich]

@@brie2545 waaah...ati skinny kids, thats deep. Sorry

[@faith.adeyaa]

Sending hugs

[@Brendah_moky]

Asking someone to go back to their ex because you think it was a cute couple

[@sarahnatumanya217]

The comment on black beauty is in the same category of "Beauty with Brains" continuously enforcing the narrative that beautiful women are seldomly smart.

[@graceguya1682]

1. Telling someone they are rude, anti social, quiet or snooty for being introverted is rude. Comments saying you dont love people, dont you want to talk to people,e.t.c are uncalled for. So is expecting our social batteries to be at 100% 24/7. There is nothing wrong with introverts. We just, enjoy our own company, need time to recharge from people, think more than we talk, take time to warm up to people and often dont enjoy small/ talk/ conversations that arent mentally stimulating ( unless with a trusted person). We also often have low tolerance for people we dont like. It will be visible on our faces or demeanour around said person. 2. On the point of knowing what to say to someone when they are going through grief/pain, i agree some comments that are well meaning dont help, especially when the pain is raw, e.g while telling someone that their friend/family is in a better place is well meaning, at the moment of loss it isnt comforting. Something like telling someone that they can have another child after loss of a child is crude and insensitive. Generally the rule is to think carefully about what one says to someone dealing with grief/ pain especially when its raw and emotions are raws.

[@AishaKiggundu]

Some parents also do colorism .My mum used to shame us for being dark like my dad and actually loved our brown siblings more .To her darkness is Ugly and it took a toll on our self esteem but am glad that I embarked on a journey of loving my skin!

[@brie2545]

I'm sorry you went through that 😢

[@AishaKiggundu]

@@brie2545 it’s okay dear ❤️

[@judith7837]

I have witnessed this too. This mother was always scolding/insulting her daughter with words like 'you dark ugly thing', ' I really hate this dark...' I can only imagine how that did to her self esteem in the long run.

[@AishaKiggundu]

@@judith7837 It definitely took a toll on her self esteem😪

[@imaginehome-l2n]

Hey ladies, am laughing listening to this. Back in campus my hostelmate used to make a certain comment "watu wengine ukitoa weupe ata si warembo" mind you I was the only light skinned girl in that group .weuh!

[@lilywhite8029]

😂😂😂 Funny and sad at the same time Damn

[@kazmorich]

so to her weupe ndio urembo. Goes to show how brain washed the society is with colorism

[@carolmutua5266]

I'v heard this statement before. So rude and hurtful. Maybe we had the same hostelmate😅

[@marykiboi4269]

i am dark skin and take after my father. He made me love my skin tone because of the way he loves his.

[@lucymambo7204]

That’s so beautiful ❤️

[@hinesightmind]

Colorism is real. This week, I was applying for a role in a certain company. Tell me why they said its for light complexion...finance department 😢😢. I was shocked because it's no longer about paper qualifications. Mind you, I'm caramel, but it was a red flag for me.

[@joyceodhiambo715]

Name and shame

[@maureengituru]

My goodness at this day and age😳😳. I honestly think you dodged a bullet on that one. It sounds like a horrible place to work at.

[@kazmorich]

waaahh...are you serious? Is that where we're at now?

[@winnymbaireofficial7544]

Being constantly asked why I am single ...... then proceeds to coclude by saying " wewe ndio unawakata" " unachagua" blabla aghhbhh

[@h.a.r.m.o.n.i.e]

It would really be nice to have an entire episode on colorism in especially in the African society and how it affects both men and women. Because I feel like it comes to women lighter is perceived as more beautiful where as with men the darker tone is associated with masculinity, strength and authority. I know this is not the full picture but it would be nice to dissect this topic and gain more depth in terms of knowledge.

[@maryannemutheu1172]

At this rate - Lets just talk to ourselves 🤣🤣

[@briemariah3415]

😂😂

[@thegodlyprincess_kenya]

😂😂😂😂😂lol

[@janeirenemaina5445]

Agreed😂😂😂

[@esthernjoki7131]

agreed, everything is offensive, and wrong

[@kazmorich]

hehehehee...it is too egg shell like

[@Cirukanyoro]

When I meet people who last saw me in 2012 and they comment how I look different. I wonder do these people who last saw me 13yrs ago still expect me to look the same way at 39 that I looked at 24. It's like am I not allowed to Age.That one on colourism is serious. If someone is grieving sit with them, hold their hand or just sit and say nothing

[@ivetmachuki1721]

Hi TMI as being the only darker skinned child in my family i can definitely relate. At some point when i was younger i even thought i was adopted lol. But yes, people think it's a compliment when they say you are pretty for a darkskinned girl, such a back handed complement because you just want to be pretty, not pretty despite . I just think you should expose her to media that features darker women so she can feel included and also educate her so she can educate the other kids that they are all beautiful regardless of their skin color💕

[@carriemuriuki]

Someone once asked kama they should walk around smelling thufu & waru to look like a Kikuyu 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@the.victorgeorge]

For me what is more rude is when people want to argue with you about the thing they've complimented you about. For example, someone tells you "your so skinny, I like it" then you tell them how you wish you were more muscular and they want to argue with you how being skinny is not that bad, oh sijui You know how many people wish to look like you. If I tell you I don't like it, just take the L and leave it at that.

[@wairimumurathi]

I find that really toxic .... Like, I'm just not responsible for those people that want this and they can't 😅 It's like when you don't like food and you're told people are starving... Aaagg!

[@neches.a]

Funny because I wanted to be dark skinned because 1. A girl in class 3 who was my friend & i liked how her palm looks. (Mine are quite pale because I'm light skinned) 2. One of my siblings is dark skinned like my dad, I've always admired her & always wanted to look like her. She's so beautiful. 3. I was micro bullied in primary school because I was really light skinned, i stood out more & didn't like it

[@sylviandwiga224]

Murugi please have an episode on your kid being different and how to deal with it. i am f"air skined" and my baby daddy is light skin but my daughter turned out to be "dark skinned" and she is always asking and having these little comments and to be honest, i dont know how to handle this, really stressful. Especially a path that i, myself have not gone through, you really cant understand what your child is going through.

[@gift2622]

I think the reason why people say you’re more pretty in person is because people edit their pictures and videos so when they see you in person their expectations are met🤦🏽

[@gift2622]

Coz some people don’t look like their pictures the pictures are more beautiful than them 😂

[@rynembuthia6736]

I get really uncomfortable when people ask me why i go to the gym, yet i am skinny🫣🫣 "unaenda gym na vile wewe ni mskinny kwani unataka kukonda mpaka wapi"😏😏

[@JaneGathunguri]

You know listening to this made me remember something that just happened last week someone told me that my worst character is that I like minding in other people's business and I was like what the......and it really did crash me ...I thought I was just being there for people to listen to them and have support but I realized this is what I want but not what other people want I was disappointed.. and the single question just say am not interested will save a lot of explanation

[@ayikiriizemartha4640]

I think colorism is more prevalent in Africa than anywhere else, it's just that alot of people are tone deaf to it. 9/10 time people compliment people, it's based on their skin tone and the closer they are to white. In Uganda, people will say about babies that they are light skinned and pretty, light skin comes before the pretty description. It's one reason why the bleaching business is doing so well in Africa. You'll hear men, African Ugandan, dark skinned, educated men listing light skin on the top of their list for ideal woman. It blows my mind.

[@nyamburambugua5147]

I love today's episode Something else i find so rude, is someone telling a single mom "you know even if you are not in good terms with your baby's dad, please let your kid have a relationship with him" So what if he rejected the baby , what if he intentionally doesn't want to be in the kids life... Ati "babake ndiye ako na baraka, ". Yoh as far as I know blessings come from God🥹🥹🥹

[@gladysmuthoni8700]

This

[@The_Introverted_Pisces]

I also find it offensive. It's like the woman should solely make things work even when the man has clearly neglected his responsibilities.

[@gracematheka4057]

Yoh! Thiiissss!!

[@jewel6476]

I find it offensive when my identity is tied to my tribe😂😂 disgusting

[@minkrasi3318]

Really loved this episode...I have my own kids, nieces & nephews who are growing and getting to different heights and I realize now that we really complement the ones who are getting taller -and probably the shorter ones are feeling less than! woiyeee - that needs to change!!! CTA!!

[@Pro-misiee]

Looking so nice and gorgeous 🥰. Hey Lyd, Hey Murugi, Hey in-betweeners

[@tmipodcastke]

Thank you ☺️☺️☺️

[@roseyikua7915]

👋

[@learnwithme322]

What I want to know is, what is the intent behind the questions/statements: "what's wrong with your face?" "You're so thin/fat!" Honestly, how is someone supposed to respond? We all have mirrors and know exactly what we look like. Must we start carrying our medical records for people??

[@RaysofInara]

People are miserable and dark, their insecurities pierce them so hard that nothing good can come out them.

[@missrachel1605]

People who comment "umeamua kutung'aria, pesa iishe Kwa hiyo"...it's so rude it's my money it's my choice to look good....😂

[@GraceKungu]

Yaaaaay tmi Wednesday on my birthday 🎂💐 what a beautiful gift!

[@kazmorich]

Why am i single? Because I'm not married. LOL...

[@joyceyugi9266]

It's safe to say that TMI has made me such a better person. ❤. God bless this podcast. @Murugi continue to affirm your child in the best way you know. I remember my younger sister asked the same questions when she was younger and none of us knew how to answer Parenting is such a task...damn

[@wakaiification]

But for rent, you can find out directly from the building management if you want to rent there, otherwise just accept you are nosy :)

[@maureennyanjui8475]

You can compliment without feeling like it's a comparison, and preference is a thing too if you are feeling offended when someone else gets complimented on sth you need to look inward and figure out what insecurity you are not dealing with.

[@carriemuriuki]

Think I'm the first one here today 🤭😍 Love it here 🩷

[@jewel6476]

Yeaah ati ghai umekonda😂💔💔nkt

[@beatricesloan7063]

I can relate about the weight comment,for the longest time I thought I was a big person,from the negative comments that an ex used to make. I got shocked when I realized that I am a petite, learning to unlearn all the negative things said about me . I love the Conversation ❤

[@Utamaduni1]

I feel like hugging you both...I hope everyone can hear this! Literally make this episode a PSA on volume level 74!

[@kandisphere8828]

Murugi dear, colourism is alive in Kenya. I experienced it growing up and yet I am not the darkest shade of dark. Even Lupita Nyong'o acknowledged that she experienced it in Kenya. I am not as dark as her, but I hear the comments of people, when they see a very dark baby (like most Nilotes'), while comments of mixed-race and light-skin Kenyans are more pleasant.

[@mukamimukami6549]

Siku moja customer came to my business umenona juzi tu ulikuwa kitoto kwani ulizaa

[@dorisasige7126]

I only put on flat shoes coz I got tired of "na hii urefu yote umevaa heels"

[@alanpierrers]

I am sooooo glad we are back to the normal It's definitely TMI. Pheeew 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

[@debyongaro2031]

Just an observation, you could consider having subtitles for specifically when you use Kiswahili somewhere in the episode for our non-swahili speaking followers out there. We have already determined that your following goes way beyond Kenya😍 My opinion about the topic, there’s also a thin line between what I’m saying and what you perceive. I don’t know if it’s fair to say ‘I meant this, not how you understood me’ But again, I shouldn’t ride on ‘I didn’t mean what you understood just because I found out you got offended’

[@doctordeeM]

I agree with Jo's mom, we're a sensitive ass generation 🤣🤣 everything is insensitive and rude. I think that there are some which are clearly rude but others apaanaaaaa

[@dorahmulinge3800]

This!!!

[@theresemadjou5047]

To the parents who are struggling with darker kids, as a parent whose child is also darker and a person who grew up dark skinned but grew to be lighter skinned, please purpose to teach them affirmations about their beauty, compliment them often, like very often. And also show them pictures of darker-skinned people and praise their skin tone. Growing up i was bullied for being darker. I hated my skin, but also no one around me ever complimented me, not even my parents. Now that I'm lighter i wish i was darker, and whenever i meet a darker-skinned man or woman i kinda act crazy 😅. My son has also asked me why he's darker and I'm lighter. Whenever i get a chance i tell him how beautiful his skin is and handsome he is and i wish I was as toned as he.

[@wangari6509]

My sister is pretty light and I am the exact opposite, the number of times I’m asked kwa nini wewe si mweupe 😂😂 I have even gotten used to it now Someone even asked if tumetoka tumbo moja 😂

[@berylbaker4200]

Lemme throw the awkwardness to the other person... Absolutely thats my take home point/lesson

[@lilyjay3817]

I am curious about the meaning behind Murugi's statement "even Kisii?" when Lyd mentioned her diverse group of friends from different tribes. The phrase seemed to imply that Kisiis are not desirable or suitable for friendship. Additionally, I noticed potential tone-deafness regarding colorism in the conversation, which raised some concerns for me.

[@carolmutua5266]

I din't think it did. She meant it like she didn't know that Lyd had a Kisii friend, that's all. I think you read too deeply into that.

[@somebodys_son01]

Lets all just start using sign language as a mode of communication - just so we can get rid of all these nuances

[@lizmugabi9893]

People that say “beauty with brains”👀

[@beloncekamz2821]

Early gang hoyeee🎉🎉💃🏿. It's Definitely TMIIII

[@mercykariuki7463]

Wueeh..colourism is sure a thing.. my son told me he wishes he was white coz white is better and that he will marry a white woman! I am constantly reassuring him PS: he's really handsome and I breaks my heart that he doesn't know it. He's 10yrs old

[@pamelanyagah3936]

You are black beauty.....its like they are surprised that you are beautiful while dark skinned

[@Wanjeri301]

My niece asked her mum the same question like why is she not as light as her mum , ( my niece is chocolate and so I’m I but her mum is like those super light skins ) , so what we did is , we just told her that chocolate is sweet and having skin like brown chocolate means you are also sweet … she’s 6 and that worked lol , she’s never asked again, she’s just like me and aunty have skin that’s sweet like chocolate.

[@carolmaina6769]

For the tall girls...am I the only one who gets irritated with being called American height???

[@The_Introverted_Pisces]

I am 5'8 and I get irritated when people tell me "wewe ni mrefu aki". I perceive it like they want an explanation of why I am that tall 😄.

[@Michell1802]

I always tell them they are the short ones

[@brie2545]

Totally relate

[@annewaithira6234]

Me 5'9 and it's really irritating, they see you every time but keep on asking aki uko mrefu.. Those days I felt bad but now am proud of my height

[@huldahnjeri5146]

I know right 🙄 As a young girl was always told to to modelling.

[@faith.adeyaa]

I just got validated when Lyd said she was told, "don't lose any more weight". Someone once told me😂🙊..."This is now the right size, don't add weight, don't lose weight," and it didn’t sit well with me

[@kerenb5314]

I'm with Lydia on this, tall women are so gorgeous I can't😍

[@annekitao9290]

Ah, mimi i dont say anything about someone's body. Someone knows when they are overweight or underweight soo we're not going there

[@JK-ju8jl]

LOL am midway tempted tunyamaziane basi !!!! so sensitive human everywhere.

[@learnwithme322]

Murungi, please continue to affirm your little one. I would buy her Lupita Nyongo's book, "Sulwe." It helped my little one. Love and light!💫❤️

[@sellyyvvette]

It's definitely TMI 🎉❤ Also I keep watching the intro photos to see if it has changed since the shoot day they shared on insta😊

[@tmipodcastke]

😂😂😂😂we love a keen Inbetweener ❤️

[@kihararosa]

Point is, most people have limited topics to talk about. There’s a lot of anxiety in social settings. It’s hard to be in a gathering where there’s no inappropriateness. I lower my expectations when I step out 😂😂😂

[@silviaudoto]

I remember going home to the village in december and immediately i alighted the matatu an auntie rushes to me to say hi then"hujaongeza mtoto mwingine?huyu amekua sana...unafaa kuwa na wawili😂

[@winnieonyango8108]

That's why I don't go upcountry,not close to my relatives and at peace.

[@maureen_mauryn]

Sheeesh...the weight one. After having a baby, women generally gain weight, don't mention it! Check how someone feels about the weight first.. personally I've always been skinny so gaining some weight post baby was exciting for me. But if someone comments especially with the words "umenona!" Then now makes me wonder am I fat ...too fat?

[@wanguink3912]

Heh...hapo kwa family is family. I relate with Lydia hapo. Just this weekend, a friend of my mum leveraged the memory of my late mum to get me to meet her only to alert my narcissistic alcoholic father to come see that she did her assignment. I was livid.Yoh! That statement ya he is still your father ndio nianze kumlipa allowance.. it's the audacity for me.

[@wairimumurathi]

What I fund rude and triggering is when someone has lost a loved one and telling them that not to worry it's God's will, ati to God be the glory😢😢 Just don't talk

[@joylinechepkorir2665]

I kinda find it offensive as a kalenjin when people hear me speak English/Swahili and are surprised that I don't have the deep kalenjin accent

[@dorcas4495]

Yes Murugi, it's really a Kenyan thing to comment on weight.

[@Fidey_Kokonya]

Yeeiii 🎉🎉was waiting for this episode❤. Lemme immerse myself

[@tmipodcastke]

Here we are 😏😍😍

[@cellinamutuku]

❤❤ thank you for this gals

[@Pro-misiee]

I am the first one💃💃💃. Forever grateful for TMI. What an interesting way to carry on with the week. Much love from Uganda ♥️

[@tmipodcastke]

Yaaaaay 😍😍

[@Pro-misiee]

♥️♥️​@@tmipodcastke

[@shammahnzaana214]

Pllllleeeeaassseee come to Uganda! ​@@tmipodcastke

[@akinimueni]

Personally I like the black beauty thing. Because why not identify blackness with beauty

[@kenty101]

WELL, WELL, WELL, I am dark-skinned and I know that I am very beautiful, I know I have unique features, an amazing smile, an absolutely timeless innocent face, and very beautiful bright eyes I look 19 while well I am not....😌🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭. and it's beautiful to accept that now. growing up I was I think the darkest out of both my siblings and my cousins, now my mom was amazing I felt nothing when I was with her, sometimes I'd forget anything color UNTIL I visited my aunt. that's my mom's big sister, she had kids who were of course light, and for some reason or maybe a coincidence most people living in her house were light or not as dark, and then there was ME. One day she bought me two T-shirts i was about 9 when this happened, so she bought two shirts yellow and red, now the yellow has some cartoon characters which i really liked but the red one was plain. now to paint you a picture, I was chubby a lot more chubby on my belly like most chubby kids I guess, and i had no butts, I mean I was 9, so picture a black chubby kid and flat behind. then she said go try the T-shirts and let me see if they fit. She specifically told me to put on the red one but since I didn't like it and i wanted the cartooned one i went and put on the yellow one. She laughed so hard after she saw me and said, wewe ni cheusi mangara, na huko nyuma umepigwa pasi, ata sijui nakusaidiaje. I nervously laughed as well because at that point what can I say? And it wasn't just one time literally every single day I woke up I knew another day to be reminded how black I am. i was sad every time i am going to her house for the holidays. . well I am grown now and i know i am very beautiful I wish she lived longer to see me now. i know she was an amazing mother to her kids . but I have very dark memories of most of our interactions., because she pointed out how flat my behind was, i tell you I wouldn't wear skirts or gowns for a verryyyyyy long time. i think throughout my teenage years, her voice lingered for a long time. just less than a decade ago i started wearing gowns, and skirts, and by the way, my behind is just fine thank God for puberty.

[@GeorginaMwikwabe]

Loved this episode😊so much growth over here🙌

[@lilywhite8029]

If you are light admit and embrace it If dark follow suit If you're petite, or plus size embrace it Be nonchalant of what people think about you. It's more of insecurities which women should work on and self esteem I'm light, petite and beautiful That's enough, anyone with an issue with that, gdnt On that note dark skinned women stop hating light skinned ladies. Our blood is Red. I wonder why women put on make up to make them lighter not darker. 😂😂 How can I appreciate someone who hates herself 😅 It's crazy

[@winnieonyango8108]

😂😂😂😂ati dark skinned women hate light skinned,If that's the case then it's mutual.Iam very dark never hated a light skinned woman,why do you think you are hated🥺🤢

[@sylviamugoyia7833]

Yellow yellow movement, rangi ya thao? Murugi you didn’t see this?

[@shikokariuki212]

Everybody has since become entitled and are triggered by each and everything, may God help us all.

[@huldahnjeri5146]

Mom of 3 boys and always being asked 'tuletee kaschana sasa' 'Utatuzalia kaschana lini' when will you get a baby girl? Or you should now get a baby girl. Like seriously 😳🙄

[@Bee-wd4mh]

This was very informative! Also, Lyd, your hair is soo pretty please share hair details 🙏🏾. Im wondering what extensions were used and how you care for the hair as well. Thank you.

[@Mpuria727]

Nipitieni pia guys

[@peninahnjoki8685]

My daughter is light skinned and has a lot of curly hair, someone asked whether I fathered her with a Hindu or a Muslim

[@JaneGathunguri]

Among the first one today ❤

[@brendahchepkorir4006]

Nowadays the rhythm is dope,i bet you had a sleepness night practising it😊

[@esthermumbi3598]

When you give birth and pple call but the first thing they ask is ni boy ama girl... So rude..

[@salomeshiran1660]

What happened between murugi and kitt I'm her stories and there is a response about angie ( scamming people)

[@tiemdablew9509]

The comment about you look tired took me out! I laughed so hard 🤣

[@perismkala4275]

Was once told to give birth to add weight 🙄... I love my weight bro though am petite