Tobe & Fat: A Cautionary Struggle Love Story

[@foxyboop4164]

So, let's just say this .. I'm almost 40 and I know men with CONSISTENT side pieces who wouldn't dream of being this outwardly disrespectful to their significant others. You can be honest and remain tactful, he doesn't love her romantically (then or now) she's literally his MULE. OAN: No couple is goals, I've been married 14 years, all relationships have ups and downs. Pray, eat well, compliment one another, respect each other and keep others outta your relationship!

[@iameloho718]

That whole part 🙏🏿

[@Katarina23]

Well said. But what about if the husband doesn't compliment his wife and wife has decided not to either?

[@krisjackson6567]

[@foxyboop4164]

@@krisjackson6567 Dassit!!! People forget how important this is 🤣😭

[@foxyboop4164]

@@Katarina23 If that works for y'all, so be it! But women and men love to be complimented and if your partner won't, someone else will!

[@_PixalatedCvnttery]

He told her more than once he did NOT want her and yet she STILL married him and bred his children . But ok sis 🥴🥴🥴🥴

[@CuracaoCow]

It's the fact that HE SAID he didn't want her but was still willing to marry her and get her pregnant for me.

[@_PixalatedCvnttery]

@@pvssology 🗣EXACTLY!!🗣

[@TaeKat]

I hate to see it but I foresee this ending poorly for her and I won’t say “we told you so”… but I will be thinking it.

[@_PixalatedCvnttery]

@@CuracaoCow If he wasn’t talked into it would he have ever married her ? I honestly don’t even think he like her for real .

[@_PixalatedCvnttery]

@@TaeKat I feel bad for her . She is talented and pretty. That whole video was disrespectful and low key hateful . They don’t even sound like they friends .

[@TheLeah2344]

This is why you should NEVER put anyone on a pedestal.

[@xoLia_]

100 percent true, and the fact that he really views himself as a prize is gross, like no dude stop you ain't it at all.

[@miesha.b8740]

EVER

[@themelanatednomad6989]

And this is why women shouldn’t chase.

[@kingc1198]

@@xoLia_ actually both parties should be the prize since a relationship suppose to be reciprocal

[@xoLia_]

@@kingc1198 You should probably go and tell ole boy Tobe that, since he doesn't seem to understand. 😅

[@_KayBee_]

“Pass this man some sandals because he think he’s Jesus.” 😭😭😭

[@jjjkk5gcseFhhuuu]

Lol

[@tanezbest8752]

😭😭😭😭😭

[@ReFoRmEdCoCo]

That and "Chile flee" took me TF out 🥴😂

[@olivianwaokocha5955]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@JazmineJordin]

😩😩😩

[@tuffvision]

A guy once told me “when a dude says he don’t want you count your losses and believe him. Rarely do they change their mind or grow into love. What we consider growing in love is really cost VS gain analysis.”

[@lovebug6388]

And the woman ALWAYS suffers the heaviest losses in tangible and intangible assets.

[@kurokaizen1889]

@@lovebug6388 Now that's FALSE.

[@lovebug6388]

@@kurokaizen1889 based off this example, how so?

[@jewsaregenocidalhores]

No women actually can fall for someone they didn’t like before but men…. No chance.

[@Ampeachy]

How is she able to be so gentle with his hair while he’s talking about her like that!?

[@CrystalM1917]

Low self esteem. It's a terrible thing.

[@s444-v1f]

Chillllld smh I was thinking the same

[@TVwriter23]

There 3 things that you don't want people doing while pissiing them off. 1.) Food 2.) Caretaking 3.) Hair. Especially if heat or chemicals and basing are involved

[@Ampeachy]

@@TVwriter23 so true.

[@sr-pz7gp]

Word 😂😂

[@XxBulletDreamsxX]

“Some men don’t marry the one they love, they marry the one that sticks around.” Definitely going through this now with my husband. Ladies, never chase after a man. If he wants you, you’ll never have to beg for simple shit.

[@Cocochantelle]

I’m so sorry. It’s never too late to leave and find new reciprocated love. You deserve it, life’s way too short and we die 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@XxBulletDreamsxX]

@@Cocochantelle Thank you so much! Trust me, I’m a lot wiser now. Exit plan already in motion. At least I can say I won’t take a huge L when I leave 💅🏾

[@Lady_Danbury]

Sorry sis. Praying for you. Hope all goes well with the exit plan. ❤️❤️❤️

[@rahstara]

@@XxBulletDreamsxX I'm glad you know this is happening between you and your husband, I'm excited for your plan! I hope after the plan goes through, things will go well for you girly. You deserve it! 💖😊💐

[@themelanatednomad6989]

Sorry to hear that. It used to be that men would want to change for the ones they love. Men today do not feel like they need to change. They end up looking for a women willing to tolerate their shortcomings. I had an older black man try to lecture me on what black women should be doing to appease their husbands, and the way he talked about black women was so disgusting. I felt so bad for his wife and his daughter.

[@ojones6424]

*Struggle Love really is one of the downfalls of Black women* Believing you need to suffer in order to find and keep love is toxic. This mentality is designed to wear and tear you down so you feel as though you have no other options. Love should never be a struggle. Black women, we are worth more than this toxicity.

[@hollywoodmonroeglam3875]

You better preach!!

[@xoLia_]

I'm tired of seeing black women being broken and beaten down, it's time for us as a whole to start loving ourselves.

[@deej5608]

THAT PART

[@commentpoliceofficer7991]

@OYAH JOSEPHINE Maybe they not struggling financially but she still struggled just to get him. They aren't goals. She chased that man while he didn't want her and eventually he settled probably because he wasn't getting the type of women he really wanted and knew she was gonna stick with him. Whose to say he won't end up doing her dirty and leave her high and dry for another woman once he reaches a certain status and becomes more famous.

[@sjor3569]

@OYAH JOSEPHINE all this marching and defending still ain’t gonna get you picked. This shit is struggle love. They may not struggle financially but this is a marriage that is completely one sided. This woman needed to pick up her self esteem and left this man the moment he fixed his mouth to tell her he didn’t want her, but she didn’t so now look at her stuck with that low self esteem and married to a man that doesn’t value her past the children she bore him.

[@jademoni3622]

When someone shows you who they are, believe them - Maya Angelou

[@sumwherevfar]

“…. The first time.”

[@OnlyQueenE]

Preach!!!!!!

[@krisjackson6567]

I read that in her voice. Or maybe Madeas voice imitating Maya. Either way she right.

[@michikomalandro7665]

Unless your shy or antisocial or depression that don't count

[@angelinaperea6253]

Best advice ever! RIH, Miss Angelou ❤🕊

[@charmaineespeut4627]

I once dated an African man (Nigerian) who wasn't as attractive as I was. He tried so hard to pull down my self esteem and it worked for a bit of time. Since it was my first relationship he had me thinking no one else was going to love me like he loved me. He kept feeding me so I was getting fat just like him. He kept quoting how there were so many more women than men so I should be happy I was "chosen" by him. That man taught me all I needed to know about dating and how I should NOT be treated.

[@ReinaAfricana]

Just like my ex fiance from Uganda. I'm happily engaged to a wonderful man. My ex damn near broke me. It took my fiance a long time to get me to trust again.

[@AWholeVibe96]

WOW this hit home.... definitely making me analyze my current relationship a lot different

[@charmaineespeut4627]

@@AWholeVibe96 Don't ignore the red flags. There should be more good times than bad times and your partner should NEVER bring you down. If anything they should be your biggest hype man and supporter. I ignored so many red flags because I thought he was going to be the only man that would ever marry me. I left him and I got married to the love of my life the very next year! Don't waste your time people don't change.

[@joursdeTJ]

Both my parents are Nigerian and what you’re describing is exactly what my dad did to my mom. Took her 23 years but she finally left his ass and she’s so much happier these days

[@makreviews2146]

Sounds like he had low self esteem and insecurity and was projecting that onto you to make himself feel better.

[@lenamayduzen1408]

She manifested his dreams for him, if we are honest, no one was checking for a Tobe Nwigwe until we seen FAT by his side.

[@Serenitie3]

Exactly. And he knows that

[@nadiairvin4744]

Not trying to argue. Just providing chronological context…She was his friend before he started doing music, so she’s been by his side from the start of it. So I’m not sure what you mean.

[@lovelydae7455]

That's most men Even on KZbin The couple channels only grow because the woman Especially if she's mixed or light skin Then they break up when they get money or fame

[@MelanatedHomesteadher]

A lot of women actually do that for men whilst the men treat them like they're nothing

[@Naisy77]

Speak on it

[@tyisha2105]

My mom always told me to find a man that loves me just a little more than I love him. I stand by that!

[@jaminwaite3867]

Yuupppp

[@marzdabull]

Same girl same.

[@AS-tb2mo]

My granddad said this! It isn't safe for the other way around, not for a woman's heart. It's best He digs you a little more or hell a lot. He knew that he was that for my grandma.

[@PubliclyPrivateKSA]

Same and I'm blessed to have that now.

[@anelbre0904]

Mine did too.

[@AJ-gd8cg]

He comes off like the type of man who likes to make sure his woman "knows" she can't do better than him so he puts her down any chance he gets so he can keep putting her through BS without her leaving. It's sick.

[@divineshine4482]

Right on the money Bingo

[@morgyn1002]

Very sick !!!

[@velvetthunder3856]

Exactly that "knock her down a peg" ish

[@annholl1603]

And look at him 😳🤢

[@LizNeptune]

Yeah he is begging THE FKKK out of here!! Strong narc energy here!

[@LoveMe0516]

“Never let a man tell you more than once that he doesn’t want you.”

[@Thankgot]

Amen

[@someonejohnson5774]

Yh cuz that’s jus embarrassing

[@serene2414]

exactly, great point. I can't believe some females actually thought this was goals. It's a damn shame he shows no respect for her. It was embarrassing in how he spoke about his wife in video of how they met. She should of kept the story of how they met to herself. It is so degrading how he nickname his wife Fat. Black women might as well go white if they are going to allow this.

[@LoveMe0516]

@@serene2414 girl it’s a form of Stockholm syndrome. Identifying and even making light of things that actually caused pain. She’s tryna use the fact that he didn’t want her initially as a way to further validate their current relationship status as being something to strive for when in reality he just settled because she stuck around. I just hope now he actually does love and cherish her but something deep inside me really doubts, if he does, that’s it’s truly genuine.

[@serene2414]

@@LoveMe0516 agreed, you said it perfectly.The way he speaks in a negative way about her publicly got to further diminish her self esteem tho she laughs it off like you said. The pain in her face is visible and listening to them both speak, it's like she is still attempting to convince him she is worthy. Once married, he should not comfortably speak on how much he disliked her. She should shut down that type of conversation becus he seems to enjoy humiliating her. It has to affect the two lil girls watching their mom being put down all the time. I don't know about love story, it is minus the love becus he talk like he settled for his wife, and dude not even attractive in the least to be that arrogant.

[@blacksocial99]

As a Black American who has dated a few Nigerian men, chille this was triggering tf out of me. I almost became a Fat. We need to start highlighting more the differences in our cultures when it comes to dating these men out here.

[@sadraolaedo4733]

Girl I am Nigerian, I understand you. 90% of Nigerian men are sexist and misogynistic

[@Luna-kb3sr]

She’s an Akata to him…but no one talks about that part though

[@rachealreed4589]

@@Luna-kb3sr whata an akata

[@ameaa1990]

@@cekh7633 lies lol

[@uchayphilips2513]

Yh African men define a “good woman” by how much she’s willing to mule for him. As a Nigerian woman if I hear a man call me “wife material” I IMMEDIATELY worry because it means I look like I can be treated crappily without repercussions.

[@Talking_With_Gabrielle]

They needed a PR rep because this hindered their brand. Also, with all the bragging he did about himself I wonder why he couldn’t find a woman he genuinely desired….

[@MichelleNgome]

This is old. It resurfaces every 12-18 months but this is the first time that there have been negative comments. Also, his celebrity/popularity has grown tremendously since this video was releasesed.

[@BMWF2023]

@@MichelleNgome Yeah all of Kevin Samuels supporters must have got a hold of it 😂

[@InspiredUno]

The type he wanted wasn’t going to stick around and wait for him to blow up, and he knew that. Fat was going to stick it out with him when he was still grinding and perhaps not as stable. My heart goes out to her because she didn’t push past her trauma enough to heal alone before getting stuck in a rut with trying to be with him. Had she detached herself and focused on herself and healed she would have been so much better off. And at least strong enough to fall back from him and allow him to pursue her later in life (if he desired her).

[@VanityDivined]

@@MichelleNgome there were negative comments when it came out. it was just only their fans that watched the videos

[@GarageStudio7]

*Tobe:* I didn't want you. *Fat:* Yes 👁👄👁 Am I missing something, how much of a prize is he...

[@princess_sonianevermind]

EXACTLY cause I’m CLEARLY missing something

[@jjjkk5gcseFhhuuu]

Lol

[@cb4664]

Another example of a woman trying to find her identity through a man. Pathetic.

[@alexandrahendrick4352]

I think/ hope once he started to like her, he started to treat her like a queen! He could have told the truth but at the same time convey how bad he now feels about how he treated her... but he revelled in humiliating her.

[@amorelockster1023]

Exactly I’m just looking like 🤨

[@LonerBecause]

None of these people are relationship goals I always enjoy your breakdowns

[@charice1216]

Absolutely none of them lol 💯

[@OHoneyPot]

This‼️‼️

[@pri2x0x]

The irony here is that the couples who are actually couple goals are no where out here in the public.

[@bmwjourdandunngoddess6024]

Beyoncé and Jay Z are, have a seat. MINUS the cheating.

[@bmwjourdandunngoddess6024]

@@pri2x0x I think having “couple goals”, is such an unrealistic view as well,

[@Msladyrae92]

There’s a way to say things. My mom was NOT interested in my Dad but the way they tell their story is charming.

[@erisheiressdupre4796]

That works though because your mom probably had options and your dad had to pursue her, as a man should. Fat put herself in the masculine role pursuing a man who didnt want her and put him on a pedestal. That series gave me second hand embarrassment.

[@Ms9mmBeretta]

And it was the WAY Tobe was saying it.

[@bmwjourdandunngoddess6024]

@@erisheiressdupre4796 “As a man should”, patriarchy and toxic masculinity are strong within you.

[@dae4444]

💯

[@erisheiressdupre4796]

@@bmwjourdandunngoddess6024 You sound goofy. Real men are hunters by nature. You clearly missed the part where I said her mother had options. Her mother chose her father, meaning SHE had the power and the final say. If you want to pursue and court a man, you do you. If that makes me toxic for not wanting to chase a man, I'll be toxic.

[@beautybyapril86]

Never let a man tell you he doesn’t want you more than once!

[@thickseptember]

The fact he named her “Fat” and she accepted it and carries the name with pride 🥲🥲

[@KhrysPKreme]

fat is a common nickname downsouth. i know so many girls that go by fat or fat-fat 😂 it’s weird tho 100%

[@rissysl8618]

​@@KhrysPKreme and usually the girl is small 😂

[@Yea_ThatsShay]

The fact that she let his uglass call her ugly and tell her about how she looks is just… no. I could never. He played her. I could NEVER. They should both be ashamed. I hope their kids never see this.

[@susiebear3316]

She is beautiful and more importantly too beautiful for him

[@incognitonegress]

They will but lets hope she gets sum self-respect 4 herself by then. Cuz i seen them but never clicked. I don't buy the couple channels, etc. This was disgusting 2 watch!

[@nicolem2877]

Right!

[@longbranch11207]

I can’t believe this madness

[@rachelm.3173]

@@susiebear3316 Definitely

[@ClaireHaire]

*Pride is the answer. I would never let a man tell me twice that he didn’t want me. The moment you do this, it sets the tone for the relationship where he is never going to go above & beyond for you. If you love a man more it will never work out.*

[@TheBrookeAshley]

Say this again please!!! 🎯👏🏾

[@rachelm.3173]

Facts

[@loliwemoyo5680]

That's because society feeds his ego one needs a man fed by one.

[@kennawimberly4948]

💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@Shewins23]

Exactly!! my mom and grandma told me long time ago. Never love a man more than he loves you. Glad I listened.

[@lexiclinique4054]

Why do people like struggle love? Like what the fuck do I need to struggle for? Love shouldn't be a struggle, it should bring you PEACE!!!!

[@JustMe-zc5qj]

Preach sis ! Plus, love should be a relief not a burden but anyway...

[@joelates5334]

Quote the Bard: "the course of true love never did run smooth"

[@faizaabdi4916]

I rather stay single for the rest of my life than struggle I don’t get it 😭

[@Jingleball7734]

PREACHHHH

[@chillybillygrapes1199]

I’ll stealing this as a quote caaaaaaause some people really need to hear this

[@gemmisco]

My mother did not spend 9 months with me in her stomach and hours in labour and got torn while giving birth for a man to treat me like this. Nope! I refuse this!

[@hyusuf4280]

💯💅

[@prissant8]

This is so sad, For him to be talking like that about her literally as she’s servicing him, doing his hair. He could have easily said “this is how I felt in the beginning, but I adore my wife and have learned how lost I was (the error of my ways) back then” or something like that. I hope she receives all the love and care she deserves as a woman and as a human being.

[@Richard-lh3te]

I was dying of secondhand embarrassment watching that video. Relationships aren’t always easy but you don’t need to hunt someone down to make them be with you.

[@xoLia_]

Yeah I hated how he purposely interrupted her just to constantly put her down and embarrass her more. Dude was being very belittling and condescending. 🤮🥴

[@tanezbest8752]

So it's not just me? I didn't know what to call it

[@AS-tb2mo]

Look we need a support group for that condition. It's awful.

[@charice1216]

This was definitely hard to watch. This is one of the reasons why women should NOT be chasing men, especially when that man has made it clear to you that he doesn’t/didn’t want you. Notice how arrogant and disrespectful he was to her. Red flags galore 😬🚩🚩🚩

[@TheBrookeAshley]

Exactly!!!!

[@Richard-lh3te]

Yup. I’ve found it works better if the man is more interested in the beginning

[@stupendousconfectionery]

Hello, I know this man who thinks I'm interested in him and whenever we're at work he disrespects me so much. He ignores my questions and tasks I tell him to complete and randomly picks a day to speak to me and when not to. It feels like I'm being used for entertainment, maybe because I'm foreign too. Please give me advice on how to confront his disrespect or when he ignores the tasks. It's really making me want to quit my job. I feel like he tells his friends I'm madly in love with him and obsessed, even though I'm not. It makes me feel so sick especially because I'm black and he's middle Eastern and has white friends. It's horrible going to work nowadays. Advice please???😭😭😭

[@jjjkk5gcseFhhuuu]

kzbin.info/door/4qiUP1xOHzhHpfnI93BT9g

[@charice1216]

@@stupendousconfectionery first of all I would report him for sexual harassment. He’s disrespecting you in front of other coworkers and making you feel uncomfortable. He’s created an unsafe work environment for you and it should be taken seriously. Not to mention that he’s running around telling everyone that you’re trying to pursue him. Document EVERYTHING and report him to Human Resources ASAP

[@sarajames8890]

She's just casually braiding his hair as he's talking about her like that smh

[@iameloho718]

I didn’t even add the part where she briefly stopped twisting to speak her peace and he interrupted her and said keep twisting my hair 😵‍💫😵‍💫

[@sarajames8890]

@@iameloho718 😡 wow smh

[@cb4664]

Girl them twists would have been on the floor. 😂

[@PHlophe]

@@cb4664 she had 2 chances to knock him unconscious after he talked smack. this was one of them. I hope she plans to grind pepper , boil it . serve him a sleeping pill and when he is drowsy . she throws the hot concoction at him and walks off with the kids.

[@mi3helle707]

@@iameloho718 No 🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭

[@natashasargent2767]

It's funny because I saw an interview of them (currently) about 2 months ago and I was side-eyeing how he kept talking over her, cutting her off, and behaving like she was a nuisance. I even mentioned it to my husband. Then this video resurfaced and it confirmed I was right about how he STILL treats her.

[@ingrid_inthesky]

I wish her nothing but healing. She'll open her eyes one day and appreciate her worth. I really believe that💜

[@kamillebremer4208]

Nobody should be looked at as “couple goals” it doesn’t exist. Every couple has their issues. I feel bad for her she chased a man who really didn’t want her

[@PHlophe]

Kamille Beamer, i feel bad for her because he actually humiliated her in full view. damn the mother of your 5 kids.

[@whatismyname5206]

She asked for it

[@UNDEFINEDpreSENCE]

Admiring another couple isn’t the issue. The issue is that most seem to praise/idolize the worse kind of relationships or situationships like Fat & Tobe. But I think most rational folks realize that every relationship has its’ issues - I mean, you can’t be with someone all yo life & always get along (that’s unrealistic). The issue is when folks label any type of relationship as a ‘couple goals’ when it’s really one of the unhealthy types.

[@Sarah-kv3qs]

This is so bad. I feel like this is worse than Beyoncé and J. This shit was hard to watch

[@sadraolaedo4733]

It is the greatest illusion of 21st Century. Sweetie say it louder, I keep saying this.

[@youaintgettingmyhandle]

All that glitters isn't gold.......

[@mariana9778]

So toxic 😬

[@ettodhar6996]

It wasn't even glittery with them two

[@jjjkk5gcseFhhuuu]

kzbin.info/door/4qiUP1xOHzhHpfnI93BT9g

[@cb4664]

Our great-grandparents even knew that. SMH.

[@quelquun2018]

He is far from gold🤮🤮🤮🤮

[@jesseniaariyel2318]

This man is the literal epitome of “there’s no you without me”

[@queenofthej]

The fact that she was doing his hair the entire time was what made it even wilder!

[@namatayic5]

Righttt!!

[@lightskinguilt5622]

This is sooo embarrassing. She definitely don’t love herself .

[@joelates5334]

Please don't tell the world that her light skinned privilege did not make her the apple of that dark skinned man's eye

[@hollywoodteee]

@@joelates5334 hush 😂😂😂😂

[@amorelockster1023]

She really doesn’t he belittled her the whole entire video he’s talking to her and about her as if he’s superior

[@BeEnOn]

Rightt! She is stunning! He should be happy & blessed she even saw interest!

[@jademurillo67]

@@joelates5334 thank god for colorism honestly, they putting these light brights through hell!

[@tmarie69]

Why do they wanna humble BW so bad?These dudes literally cannot wait to GLEEFULLY tell us we ain’t sh*t. Why? What did we do??

[@sbreezy1122]

Be better at everything. That's literally what we've done.

[@kilimanjaro5537]

@@sbreezy1122 😂😂 that part ^^

[@msjrene05]

I wish I had the answer. It’s so exhausting and discouraging tbh. In my experience, these men desire me…while also feeling the need to humble me by doing hurtful things. It’s the insecurity for me.

[@LuvlyLibra]

"What did we do?" Be the shyt without even trying! WE be Mitochondrial EVE; the birthers of a whole nation! Facts, seek and you shall find... What it really is is misdirected admiration....

[@cb4664]

We didn’t do anything. It’s called insecure. In order for an insecure man to feel like he’s important, you can’t be. 💯

[@meoy0521]

My ex did this for 5 years . I finally walk away for good this year. I knew he was using me to settle with eventually. We had multiple breaks and other partners doing our years. But I got tired of not being his priority when I always there

[@forwhy8723]

I don't know you but I am proud of you!!!

[@karinal75]

Good on you for leaving! You deserve better than bring someone’s back up plan. Not sure if you’ve seen the thread on Twitter, but many men were talking about how they don’t actually love their wives and settled for them. You dodged a major bullet. 🌸🌸🌸

[@atashaterrelonge451]

I’m so proud of you❤️

[@Katarina23]

He must have looked like a prince if he was settling for you. I mean girl, you are gorgeous. Just what are these men looking for i wonder? Some maiden from heaven?

[@Katarina23]

@@karinal75 those losers are refusing to look at the mirror. If they feel that way its because they failed their wives. When a woman feels loved and taken care of, she returns it ten fold. So tht means their wives had realized they had married losers and were making lemonade out the lemons they got

[@queenvee9729]

The question is why did she want someone that didn't want her? She wasn't coerced. She desperately wanted to be with him. This is embarrassing for her not him.

[@VolumePerfection]

She probably thought he'd change one day

[@tosinalade853]

@@VolumePerfection so Right. They always think they will change but sometimes you need to just take them from face value and stop looking at "potential"

[@VolumePerfection]

@@tosinalade853 I agree. If he was like that when they met what guarantee did she have that he was willing to change when in the video he already said at that time he wouldn't. Been there myself and it took the 6th time that the person "left" before I realised he was not willing to change. She sat through all of that thinking he would and she's responsible for that now especially since they have children. She got her dream guy with the consequences of him never loving her and she accepted that faith. She is allowing him to do that and in return she gets him, maybe not the way she wanted but that's besides the point since she knew.

[@queenvee9729]

@@VolumePerfection Why should the person change to love someone they don't? It's against nature and it's cruel. We are to match with what is true to our beings. Love is free. It's not manipulation.

[@queenvee9729]

@@tosinalade853 Why should the person change to love someone they don't? It's against nature and it's cruel. We are to match with what is true to our beings. Love is free. It's not manipulation.

[@MrJackson2021]

Fat is not a unicorn. A lot of us at one time or another have been in her shoes, hopefully not to the extent of marriage and/or children but this happens too often in our communities- where the men want to be gods and kings and queens with no real love and respect for the women who are literally laying down their lives in hope of a potential future. It is a mindset that continues to contribute to a lack of real masculinity.

[@jd517]

Fat talks a lot about her lack of a father in her life in her music and I wonder does that has anything to do with her chasing after Tobe (not truly knowing her worth). I also think Tobe tries to "humble" fat because of his own insecurities. Fat is very beautiful and probably didn't have a problem getting other male attention (which he would shut down when he was leading her on). He was negging her and it worked.

[@anelbre0904]

Everything you said is spot on!

[@bibaolaitan5189]

Ikr!!!... she is better looking than him...

[@MikkiLove21]

Very that! Also in the first video she talks a lot about how she had just relocated to Texas due to something traumatic happening where she was from. I feel that she was outwardly seeking validation from someone because she was in a vulnerable place inside and he gave her just enough to keep her around.

[@animezae]

All of this!! I’ve been here

[@shonuff5806]

@@animezae YES, Trauma Bond(ing) or Situation-ship. I understand WHOLEHEARTEDLY!

[@lavenderwashington5337]

Please talk about this , this is why wanting a man, just any man vs wanting a good man can go so bad. Every chance he gets he puts her down it's really bad. Don't forget to leave a like y'all 💜

[@lavenderwashington5337]

@OYAH JOSEPHINE I'm twenty-three and I've been in my relationship for 9 yrs! I never said that she had high self-esteem or she was the "prize". I agree she has low self-esteem, I personally do not see him as a high value man. A king doesn't have to say he's a king. If he was really all that, he wouldn't have to continuously state it. Her looking for Love or attention from just any man is what let her settle for this type of behavior.

[@amyfisher3918]

It really hurts seeing this, because I can tell she s a sweet person, I hate that good soul always get mistreated

[@GetIntoTheBLACK]

@OYAH JOSEPHINE he is not that great disrespecting a woman like that even if he wasn’t attracted to her it’s still not okay. He also is not cute 😂

[@lavenderwashington5337]

@@GetIntoTheBLACK "he also not cute" 😂 ON PURR

[@amyfisher3918]

@@lavenderwashington5337 on Mary had a little lamb sis.

[@floradabella]

I could never tolerate a man having a lukewarm attraction to me. I’d chew a battery before i stayed with a man telling me that to my face. Ladies need to gain and keep their self esteem. This is not it. I feel bad for her and I just now learned of her.

[@bcandice60]

Not chew on a battery?!!! 🤣🤣🤣 but I FEEL YOU! 💯💯

[@sedi2066]

I'd rather pick individual blades of grass with a tweezer chile. I feel you

[@debbiemoore1008]

This

[@UrbanDecayLova247]

Right! I don’t even like when women publicly call their man ugly - like this weird trend of talking down on your partner on social media is HELLA WEIRD and something I will never be participating in.

[@WhoAuthorizedThis]

Chew on a battery!!! I love it!!!

[@pinenetta6664]

No lie, I been eating this whole thing up because I never bought into their facade. I grew up in a home like this, my parents have been together for 40+ years but I could always tell they were best friends who got married for convenience and family structure. So I learned how to be a partner but not necessarily how to be in love, bf grew up the same way, lol we’re figuring it out. But I can spot the shit a mile away.

[@Chef.91]

You can’t learn how to be in love… you either are or you aren’t.

[@pinenetta6664]

@@Chef.91 it’s more about allowing the love to happen and trusting that someone can do even tho you’ve never had it. Being able to receive and give it back.

[@sitarules1722]

That's kinda how my parents were even tho they were never married( they weren't really that into each other) they known each other for 21 years even after they had me they tried to work on being together for the sake of me and my sister ( try to be an image of a two parent household) but still didn't work out they remain good friends even tho dad was in and out of my life (due to him being a alcoholic and dealing with BD at the time) I always promised myself I won't be like of my parents examples when I'm in a relationship someday🙏

[@TheTierraJ]

flee from meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "Chile FLEE!" 😂😂😂

[@Dana-mt3zw]

im sorry the fact that he's saying all of this in present tense just let's me know that there's a pretty good chance he's still having those lingering feelings of unrequited love for her. :/ can't imagine going through that but hey, whatever floats her boat i guess

[@cb4664]

His head would have had my foot in the back of it. 😂 And some of them braids would have been on the floor.

[@Katarina23]

@@cb4664 why be violence. Just leave and let him see ur dust as you go. If i know men, i know they want what they cant have. He would have come begging like Sheree Whitfield's abusive husband. What these women see in these orgas i will never understand

[@cb4664]

@@Katarina23 why be violence? 😂 Why be bad grammar? 😂 I was actually being facetious, because the truth is, I wouldn’t be there braiding this orcas (?) hair. But I understand. I think. 😂

[@nikki2165]

Exactly! I definitely got present tense vibes from the way he was talking. Notice how he had so many analogies to make it clear he didn't like her, talking bout she was the Steve Urkel to his Laura, but he never made it a point to say she became his Stefan Urquelle lol

[@ipsilonia]

that's not what unrequited means but i gotchu sis

[@princessm8977]

I actually agree with Tobe at point 8:41. Do we REALLY want to be with men that don't want us? No we don't. Now that I'm older, the first sign of disinterest and I'm OUT! I hope she realizes her worth.

[@sholay706]

She is much better coupled than being a single mom and lonely. The fact is for.most couple one person likes the other one more lol. Most people settle at the end of the day. Stop deceiving yourselfs on social media. Social media advice is fake and not reality

[@lunamonetmonroe]

@@sholay706 Being a single mom doesn’t mean you’re lonely all the time. Also, not every one is better coupled than alone. If it does more harm to her psychologically then eventually it will have lasting effects on how she parents & raises her children. Spending time alone as a single mother can absolutely help you build yourself up & strengthen your resolve which not only benefits the woman, but also her children as well. Money & not being lonely isn’t everything….

[@tjlivejaxkson231]

same here! the first sign ..ghosting...that man I give no f and give no second chances...they are not worth it

[@sholay706]

@@lunamonetmonroe but we don't know if she is happy or sad lol. She seems happy in her marriage. I think it is best if we mind our own business and stop focusing on people's marriage

[@julioamb]

That's a lie. If you're really interested in the man, you'll never leave. Women always break rules for the men they are very attracted to.

[@princesscarolyn5716]

People need to stop idolizing relationships.

[@SuburbanKween]

LOUDER!

[@ChristManifestee316]

It’s funny, because I recently saw a post that said “I want someone to love me the way Tobe loves fat.” And now this. This is exactly why I don’t waste my time being covetous over happy or intimate looking picture on social media. We really need to stop putting social media couples and their images on a pedestal and learn how to create happiness in our own personal love stories. Y’all, I kid you not…a few years ago a friend of mine complained to me about her boyfriend and how he was mistreating her…the very next day she posted them on social together. Things are not always as they seems y’all.

[@TVwriter23]

Not just online, but offline too. People have these lovey dovey behavior in public need to be wary of. For many that's a fascade

[@chikFromMTL]

"Never let a man tell you twice he does not want you." - Unknown

[@raesweety]

This was terrible. I really don't get why she felt like she needed him.

[@cb4664]

Low.Self.Worth

[@raesweety]

@@cb4664 yeah, very low

[@AllTingsBaddy]

She screams daddy issues honestly 🥴

[@raesweety]

@@AllTingsBaddy it's so sad 😔

[@mickeyjay3127]

Best way to put it. She must’ve felt like for some reason she needed him because there’s no way she would’ve put up with it otherwise

[@LA-Will]

I understand what Eloho said about people getting together and not being attracted to one another, then gradually fall in love (not exact words but work with me here). I can understand if it’s an arranged marriage then I’m on point with you, but the fact that she had a choice in the matter and she chose that position, it’s giving me pick-me-cause-I’m-desperate vibes. I can imagine a man that really wanted to be Fat’s husband and she turned him down to chase after Tobe, the guy who didn’t appreciate her and never wanted her.

[@BlakAndComely]

Right, the guy who really wanted to be with Fat! Good point.

[@zamorapakalolo6699]

Seems to me she likes challenges.

[@kwatson4394]

Pick-me-because-I’m-desperate #Facts

[@AbigailThinks]

Yes! I feel bad for the love she could’ve had. Tobe makes it very clear in this video that he had ZERO intention to be with her. What wife would want her husband to speak as if his mind has not been changed, even after all this time? It’s giving Helmet of salvation! Having settled before, I feel like there was probably some man out there willing to place the world at her feet. It shows that she had low self esteem for chasing a man who was willing to disrespect her like this then and now. Hope things turn out well for them after all, but we need to raise our standards ladies. We are worth more than just boosting egos.

[@user-lx6qz8cb7k]

thank you

[@RapstarDara]

He is super super SUPER insecure. He was projecting his insecurities HARD. He is probably a different person when they are alone. But he doesn’t want a man better than him to compete so he is putting her down publicly in an attempt to reduce her to his low.

[@lavonnealexander6936]

Exactly! I am happy someone sees what I see.

[@Stephthegreatlion]

Appreciate that intellect

[@RapstarDara]

I heard and saw other points of view that he is just being honest about how he feels and she is the problem. It was his decision to NOT remain friends and marry her. She had expressed that she was ok with just friendship. And he knew that if he didn’t another man would.

[@debbiemoore1008]

Yup seen it before

[@MiraculusOnly]

@@RapstarDaraand you see.. he is a master manipulator to have uno reversed the logic behind this. Lmao like I and you and I’m she either women are blessed enough to have the discernment to see right thru this

[@DramaticalIy]

A lot of these males literally do what women should do, marry the person who’s willing to do the most for/give the most to them with the unwavering loyalty of a fool

[@almamater9346]

Soo...how is it that this man literally says in SEVERAL ways that he did not want HER, including saying verbatim "I did not *want* YOU..." and people still call this relationship goals? This clown could still abandon her now that he's seen some success. I'd rather sweep the Sahara desert AND the ocean floor than thirst this hard after a man that told me to my FACE and to the world that he did not want me.

[@Starrfyre]

Girl, I'd fill up the ocean with the sand from the Sahara before I'd consider letting a man, any man, embarrass me in public like this. Such a shame

[@potatopotatoeOG]

Pass me a broom sis.

[@Rooted_Locs]

What the ocean floor do to you🤣🤣

[@nikki2165]

He was going hard about how much he didn't like her when they first met, but did he ever make it a point to emphasize that he grew to truly be in love with her in spite of not really feeling her initially? From what I heard, it sounded like even at the time they recorded that video he still wasn't really that into her. Now that they're famous I'm sure he has more access to the kinds of women he "prefers" over her. I hope he doesn't cheat or leave especially because they have so many kids together, but if he does he'll be able to say she had fair warning because he was always honest with her about not really liking her in that way. In my opinion, she's the one who's truly settling in that relationship because he even said in so many words that she should be with a man who feels the same way about her as she does about him and unfortunately, that does not seem to be the case.

[@mariahyohannes]

For the sake of the video I would have rather him lied and said he wasn't ready for a relationship but he made it a point to embarrass her😖

[@msqueenlyminded7579]

I honestly don't believe men grow into loving the wife they settled for. There usually will always be a longing for the dream girl of his mind. Annnnnndddddd SIS!!! If he finds her.......he's OUT!! Trust me

[@kamkam4571]

I concur

[@TVwriter23]

That's what all that breaking up was every six or so months. He was out there looking for "someone better" These two weren't a good example of the book HJNTIY

[@desij.7487]

Girl!!! So true !!!

[@tiffanysmith9097]

I felt that he’s out 😔😩🥺

[@etherealangel__3453]

@@TVwriter23 what’s hjntiy?

[@spiritualinsiderr]

It’s like he couldn’t wait to tell the world he didn’t want her ass 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@SJanez91]

He told her 100 different ways that he didn't want her and she still chose to stay around and pop out 4-5 children for him? No ma'am!

[@tika2glamorous]

I’m flabbergasted that he said he didn’t want her 20 times and she kept talking like nothing happened. Did she hear what he said? Wtf

[@adafihj6439]

The more I listened the more I was horrified. If a man was to tell you all that why were you still supporting him? He basically said was if there was someone else we wouldn't be here.

[@PHlophe]

and she bore him 5 kids. he done ruined her life.

[@dotdot_8003]

I’ve reached a point in my life where I’m like “what can a man do for me that I can’t do for myself”. I’ve given up on them as a whole,I can pleasure myself,financially support myself, fix my damn car when it’s a issue and KZbin anything else I need help with.

[@jincks277]

Same boat!

[@louenatnine51]

Honestly … same? I’ve very much been thinking that if my current relationship doesn’t work out, I’m not sure the rigors of dating and the constant insecurity/questioning of fidelity in relationships/marriage are really necessary hardships that I want to take on in my life. And to be honest, I’m not even really sad about that decision. I legitimately just don’t see a relationship as foundational.

[@garrulus3399]

Can we keep this conversation going? It is so healing to read these statements. I fully agree.

[@XxMercuriiXx]

It’s getting to be like that ☹️

[@mirakings1867]

Yup I been here for a while sis. I literally find men useless. When I’m in the mood to flirt and get hit on by men, I head to the local bars, get some flirting in and free drinks, and head home. Outside of my occasional need to be around testosterone, I don’t see the value of being in a relationship these days. It’s just not worth it. I do everything and more for myself, so is there really any need for a relationship and unnecessary stress?? Methinks not.

[@src3360]

We need a deep dive into the psychoanalytic mind set of women like this. Men arent changing, we need to prevent women from ever feeling this way....

[@nala8179]

THIS‼️‼️

[@bubblesactivated]

Yes like she almost gave me mental illness because this man told her multiple times i don’t like you and she kept trying to in a way make him be with her or see her worth…it’s almost like she’s obsessed with him if he leaves her ass might spaz

[@kikobangz]

Yea!!

[@emms6724]

He flat out said he did not want her this is insanity not struggle love. Couldn’t watch the five part series literally felt my vibrations lowering. Thanks for posting this I was curious.

[@mmdhcrochet]

I just went to their concert in Chicago last month and it was a beautiful experience. On a little high for a few days. I’m so upset that I watched this 5 part story time 😭 this shit was so hard to watch. Tobe didn’t settle, Fat did.

[@Teenytinymia]

This why we can't look at these famous couples as goals. Cuz they be wilin.

[@narlywaves2371]

😂😂

[@kellacanb]

Some people are saying that Fat emotionally manipulated him and weaseled her way into his heart, and I think that is ridiculous. She was in her feelings. She was not the one doing any manipulating.

[@PHlophe]

weaseled her way into wut ? they might as well say she put potion in his drink . this is misogynoir right there.

[@sisimou7350]

Men will do anything to not be hold accountable, he could leave but no he stay because he couldn't do" better"

[@adrianwillis66]

Alot of those "long term friends" do but men don't see it. It worked out for her in the end. I 🤔...

[@lenamayduzen1408]

Because he had the control in the relationship

[@anastasiabeaverhausen860]

None whatsoever. People need to stop with that. She wanted love. She wanted to be loved that's all

[@TheBrookeAshley]

I had never heard of these two before until last week!! This is absolute insanity!!! I had secondhand embarrassment watching the clip of him saying he never wanted her and she’s sitting there cheesing like an idiot!! Where are her clown shoes?! I’d rather eat a jean jacket than be with a man who didn’t want me! Something is in the water because women are growing more and more desperate and I want no parts!!!! Things are ALWAYS out of order when a woman likes/loves the man more!! It won’t work!!! Just a mess!!

[@moonhoneymami]

“..eat a Jean jacket”🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@mazvitaselemani]

Where are her clown shoes?🤣🤣

[@cifafs3]

A jean jacket?? 💀👖🧥

[@cb4664]

Not a Jean jacket! Who are you? You are hilarious! 😂🤣😂

[@leilava8965]

the wholeeee jean jacket girl buttons tag and all 💀

[@MrBezagreen]

I noticed in this video how when he said "Urkel to Laura" she automatically assumed she was Laura and said "Laura didn't chase Steve though". She didn't understand that he saw her as a repulsive, annoying dork who only got chosen through persistence. She thought she was the cute girl, the prize who got rewarded because she was loyal through thick and thin. Women can be told to their face they are not the prize, and they will literally chose not to hear the words coming out of their guys mouth.

[@KariFromYoutube]

Just goes to show he actually identified with the woman… showing how he views himself in the relationship

[@arielloe]

This is so sad because she’s so beautiful. Soon as the woman he really wants comes along, he will leave her in a heartbeat. She’s his placeholder. He seems very insecure cause if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be talking so low about a woman he decided to marry and so call settle with! I doubt anybody wants him in the way that she does. He will suck the life out of her, hopefully she realizes it before it’s to late!

[@lovleemind2141]

Honestly this expose' is a micro of the macro issues between black men & black women. Ladies make *NOTE, the universe is trying to SHOW US SOMETHING!

[@ChrisMythologieAstrale]

True

[@cb4664]

Real talk .💯

[@tiffanym9806]

YES!

[@adrianwillis66]

Other men are out there

[@reneerenee5073]

💯 💫

[@mrsonpoint]

I feel sorry for people who see celebs or other ppl on tv or yt and want what they have. I’ve never even thought like that. You don’t even know what happens behind closed doors

[@empirelyricschannel]

Because we have no role models.

[@mrsonpoint]

@@empirelyricschannel who’s we? Speak for yourself. I’m an adult and I know what makes me happy and what I look for in a relationship. I don’t need role models.

[@empirelyricschannel]

@@mrsonpoint “we” ain’t referring to you, but to this generation.

[@quesproductions7170]

Exactly, also those people are on camera! They are trying their hardest to be the best they can, those little quirks and frustrations you see are 10 times worse behind the scene

[@mrsonpoint]

@@quesproductions7170 PREACH

[@FulSerkle]

And FYI this is not black love this is black settling, there is a difference. We need to talk honestly about how often this happens and why we keep being told to settle and wait for Walmart prize machine men 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@thehamsterarmy2380]

this dynamic does represent your average black couple. They represent the "black love" black people have. Too often black women settle for a man just because he has melanin. They represent the majority. Actually excuse me, they don't because most black people don't even make it to the marriage stage. im just happy he didn't make her a baby mama. the fact we have to put a name for a rare thing about a black man loving a black woman is sad in itself

[@cb4664]

It’s black love alright……one way black love. I hope she can live with her choice. I couldn’t.

[@israeliana]

I think the issue is that they grew to have mutual love. But this is a general story but it's women to men. This is just the general roles reversed. I can't judge because I've settled before and he knew it. We were honest. If i had waited maybe i could have fell in love too, but i want a more mutual love before i get invested. If they truly found love, which it looks like it, then there's nothing wrong here [other than him interrupting her]. Let them celebrate the friends to lover and forever partners story.

[@minalove6582]

Exactly “let’s normalize being a great parent”. But thank you for putting this content out there Eloho. Great video!

[@TiffTALKS22]

I tried to find these interview episodes in 2024 to send it to a friend and I cannot for the LIFE of me, find them. But I'm sooo glad I found your commentary. It is SPOT ON how I felt from when I watched it when it was originally posted. Here we are, 4 years later...

[@fujimotochiaki2487]

Wow Eloho! The timing couldn't have been better. I've recently examined and stepped back from a ship that was becoming toxic. So at least I've dodged a major bullet. I hope more women will learn not to stoop down low for maladjusted men (and vice-versa, men need to watch out for wishy-washy women and distance themselves).💯

[@moonhoneymami]

Not me thinking her name was Fatima but instead “Fat” is a demeaning nickname 😩 I hurt for she

[@simplyyniara]

😳😳; i thought her name was Fatima too! LORD! I’m trying to look at the positive side but listening to bits and pieces of this interview is making me side eye Tobe now

[@kcfmsh]

Wow!! I thought so too!! The nerve of him smh

[@09kenedy]

Lol …great point

[@folukejohn6429]

Sammeee. I really thought her name was fatima. Now I really don't know where fat came from but I'm still hoping there's a good back story. That doesn't make me hang my head lower.

[@romeokimss]

Why is “fat” demeaning?

[@Schewschewan2000]

I know a man just like this- a complete narcissist. And how he talks to girlfriend is the exact same way. Not saying tone is a narcissist but the similarities between the two are uncanny lol

[@Katarina23]

Send her a video about narcissism. Maybe it will wake her up

[@shenisenicole103]

Full blown narcissism right here . You are absolutely correct

[@MsMani2UBeauty]

Definitely been saying this!

[@feranmi1395]

The way things are coming to light about the way men in particular act, it’s like people who haven’t even been in a relationship will be pre- traumatized😭 there’s no actual trauma but we’re already traumatized cos this is peak🥲

[@ashleyjackson7212]

Wow!!!! She twisted his hair and was humiliated at the same damn time. No way no how sis.

[@MiraculusOnly]

Yeah she just seems like slow about it lmao idk

[@queenie2424]

I sympathise with this lady because i understand that she endured him and desired him because she probably believed from a religious point of view that love is longsuffering and he is the one for her etc. I believe that she believed a lot of religious rhetoric about the importance of being with a Christian man (who are somewhat not in high supply) and that is one of the reasons pursued that with Tobe. I've been where she has been, I was lucky enough that it didn't last as long as this relationship and I didn't end up marrying a guy somewhat similar to Tobe.

[@tjlivejaxkson231]

it was more so God got this as an answer for her to be with him and he did not see it yet....

[@c.washington7368]

Tobe definitely took advantage of her brokenness. He knew too much about her background in the midst of him “not wanting her”. Some say he was just being honest but I think he played the game. If I don’t want someone to this extent I’m not gonna marry them under any circumstances. His love for her is so transactional.

[@israeliana]

Love is something you continue to grow with. It's not an emotion, it is a choice to continue picking the other person every day. They got that together. And that's why they're in a loving relationship. Live at first sight is lust, so they're lucky to have found something that works and is genuine.

[@omoid1749]

@@israeliana girl please

[@AWholeVibe96]

@@omoid1749 right lmaooo

[@cosmic6438]

Didn’t watch yet but i remember seeing this video about them talking about black girls being fast and she commented that she was never like that because her daddy loved her so she didn’t have to search for anything, as if the general sexualization of young black girls has nothing to do w it. It was weird. Glad somebody commentating on this chile

[@Zikomo7]

Something tells me Tobe is talking bolder now than he was back then.

[@MadiCakez]

I remember my ex situation tried to get me to watch their interviews. Highlighting how he admired her bc she chased him them waited on him. Also noting that their love is real bc she was faithful without needing to be. I was like.... "Um.... No...." He puts this man and her on a pedestal. I smelled the dust from a video away. Needless to say, I'm not a fan and I'm not dealing with that situationship anymore.

[@ayannanzinga]

He literally said she was an "option" in a room full of like 4 or 5 of his OTHER "options" and proceeded to emphasize how beautiful his OTHER options were just to say he enjoyed being around her the most. As women, we have all been a goofy in situations with these men and plenty of us have stayed whether it was for the short term or long run. But it's a whole different level of embarrassment when it's on such a huge platform such as theirs. He not once glorified her like she was him. And I can't fully articulate why I get this vibe, but it's honestly giving he possibly wanted someone from his own culture or just a different aesthetic that would fit his very specific idea of what he wanted his Black love story to look like. In some of the other videos, when she would show an OUNCE of enthusiasm of genuine excitement, he would immediately shut it down by saying "we're not Caucasian" and basically saying she's acting too white. It got to the point where she would just keep saying she's just being herself but like damn. Him shutting her down for acting "too white" and cutting her off constantly and just his intense level of arrogance was triggering and suffocating. I have no doubt they probably enjoy each other but I hope she is truly happy and if she's not, I hope she finds it before her spirit is broken.

[@tambamthankyoumaam1437]

I know exactly what you mean… many men have a ideal woman in their heads but that woman doesn’t bring them comfort or quality conversation. So in the end, they feel like they settled instead of appreciating the great qualities the current person brings to the table. Women (typically)don’t have this romanticized view of men as they do of women.

[@pinkwakabeagle]

He's a narcissist. The other women probably went on dates with him and noticed his personality disorder and that why they ran. He stayed with the one with low self esteem and yet has the nerve to treat her like he's annoyed by her. If it wasn't for her lack of self esteem he would either be single or have already found the next one to ruin their life. Narcissists are a disease to relationships. They are literally the devil because they come to steal, kill and destroy the other person.

[@sophiekdavis]

The way this man a grin up him teeth, knowing he's publicly humilating her. It's embarrassing and found it painful to watch. I couldn't stomach watching their videos either 🥴

[@PHlophe]

sophie, if i was her i'll put 20 pepper and chili in a blender then boil that sheit for an hour. Once his ass is sleeping i'll throw it him and see if he is that prize he claims to be afterward. I might add Piment de Cayenne in the mix , even.

[@sophiekdavis]

@@PHlophe lool 🌶️💥 crying with laughter 😂

[@latresephillips4831]

Wow just wow. God bless her ministry, because it could not be me.

[@PHlophe]

Latreese, with 5 kids. he has ensured she is never free. Y o Y ?

[@TheLilly]

Ooouuweeeeee 🙆🏽‍♀️🙆🏽‍♀️🙆🏽‍♀️ If y'all ever see me in this type of struggle love, just know it's some strong voodoo that's been used on me. I would never do this on a regular day. A lot of people that be on my azz for being single, they relationships look like this☝🏽 Misery loves company but we not about to miserable together. Not me 🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫

[@Opbabyyx]

Frrr

[@ChrisMythologieAstrale]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@cb4664]

Good job sis. Being in a relationship in my opinion is very overrated. And I’m in one 🙄😂

[@Myaccount923]

Don’t worry sis we gon break the curse 😭😂

[@rachelm.3173]

For real 💯

[@cdale211989]

It’s like he is sending dog whistles to other women. Like if he comes for another woman and they find out or know he’s married it’s okay bc he ain’t want her anyways she chased him. I don’t like it

[@nehemie1255]

She guards his DMs and posts it.

[@ACuteLittleFish]

Could never be me. My pride and self love would never allow me to be in that position. It’s fine to shoot your shot but when the feelings aren’t reciprocated that’s when you say, “okay cool 🤷🏽‍♀️” and keep it pushing.

[@TNDRAV]

This is extremely sad and a cautionary tale definitely, thanks for the update,

[@amyfisher3918]

I don’t know if people are confusing Kevin Samuels message or anyone else message with a platform. The assignment isn’t to chase after a man and degrade yourself, but to make things work with a good man/woman. I get wanting to be married and what not. And Eveb thought I could handle someone downing me or even settling or not really wanting Me be there. But when youre alone and think about how poorly someone treats you or knowing they don’t really want you. It hurts... men will trick you to believe you’re not important. Love self first, I was so embarrassed for her.

[@Spokentruths725]

They are confusing it

[@mrod87]

Friends like this…women who constantly “joke” with u but the jokes are put downs, or they explain how well they know u by laying out your perceived negative characteristics….and men like this are literally self inflicted torture…their words little by little eat away at you til you have nothing left to think highly of yourself except your relationship with THEM. This was hard to watch, I’ve experienced this in friendship and romantic relationships it’s awful.

[@debbiemoore1008]

Yup same here

[@amalik_333]

This is crazy! I like your breakdown of this situation.

[@asialadd7584]

Nobody's relationship is relationship goals, you never know what someone goes through to get someone...she loved that man until he finally loved her back, and that's cool FOR THEM. Just remember being a "ride or die" doesn't always work out this way ladys

[@thelegendarymuva4126]

I clicked so fast. I was waiting for your commentary.

[@amethystmoonchild6568]

Me too🤣

[@Wednesday3665]

FAST.

[@DiamonddHeart]

It’s the “chile, flee” for me 💯💯👌🏾😂

[@kendallxberry2230]

This is why as a women you cannot have low self esteem or no respect for yourself and try to get into a relationship because these are the kind of men that you will be attracted to. THE WORST KIND!

[@TA-ce7gn]

"When people tell you what they think and how they feel about you believe them abeg" By Tenia Make sure you have high self esteem and don't settle just to be in a romantic relationship or be married!

[@awandezwane1500]

My thing is, even if you did settle, honour your spouse! As a person you DETERMINE whether people will respect your relationship and partner through honouring them in private and in public. Tobe did not show that honour or even kindness to Fat in this video. Moreover, he knows that his actions during that stage of their relationship caused her pain, I would think then that he would more sensitive and gentle in how he relayed the story of that time if he truly cares for her. This was an actual cringe-fest.

[@tanishadee3883]

I love Tobe and Fat but I agree. They could have kept this part of their relationship private, if for no other reason than to spare her feelings and self esteem. No one wants to keep hearing about how you didn’t want them. That has to sting when she hears it because she prayed to be with this man. She improved and enriched his life. He does show her much love now but they should make a deal to stop publicly speaking about that part of their relationship. Hearing that story repeated would make me cry.

[@galaxylucia1898]

@@tanishadee3883 maybe that’s part of his plan in the form of psychological warfare by getting her to believe that she’s “LUCKY” to have made it this far. ☹️

[@sadraolaedo4733]

@@tanishadee3883 He doesn't love this woman period.

[@Pizza653]

This makes me sad... Don't devalue yourself by being someone's second option or a back-up! You deserve so much more than that