Case Study: Psychopath at Work | "Successful Psychopathy"

[@timothyernst8812]

As someone who works in HR, I've seen this sort of thing plenty of times and even been a victim of it. What amazes me is how enthusiastic employers are in terminating people who just want to do their jobs rather than engage in corporate pep rallies and cheerleading, but how gun shy they often are in disciplining employees who display marked antisocial tendencies.

[@keyboardcorrector2340]

It's disgusting.

[@ladymopar2024]

You sound like an amazing HR person :-) my last job the HR person was the one causing all that Havoc. I totally see I document everything that I do I just want to go to work do my job and come home I don't like drama keep being you and a good person thank you

[@daringgreatly8473]

I’ve found that many in HR have narc traits. Glad to see you are awake. Wherever you work is blessed to have you.

[@PotterSpurn1]

@@daringgreatly8473 Very true. HR control a lot of the organisation and, of course, it will appeal to those that love power and control.

[@karencampbell2410]

Yup totally - seen it and experienced it.

[@martcichocki5571]

Fascinating case study. As I look back, this "Dave," character was reflective of MOST of my former supervisors. It does explain behaviors that baffled me in the 90's. TY, again!

[@lydiapetra1211]

I had psychopath managers starting in the 90:s....sometimes you have no choice but to leave....I noticed the unusual abusive treatment and couldn't figure out what it was until a psychopath co-worker sent me to finally research it.....by reading Dr Robert Hare s book Without a conscience...

[@ourcollectiveinsanity]

Reminded me of the saying; "The best disinfectant is sunlight", too bad some high iq psychopaths have the ability to blindfold most people in their surroundings or make allies with promises they arent ever going to keep, but drag morally weakened morons to their team while they can be of personal use. At this point and age a psychologist's opinion should be part o the hiring criteria especially for positions of power. Outstanding video as always Dr. Grande.

[@jeantave8562]

Great idea!

[@dawnemile4974]

I totally agree. I have thought of this and expressed it in my comments as well. I am retired but I am learning more about personality in the workplace than I ever have from watching KZbinrs like Dr. Grande.

[@Spark_Iskra_z_Polski]

I disagree because #1 some psychologists are ppl with disorders #2 experts can also be "manipulated" (a skilled but lacking intuition and experience psychologist) #3 some experts have a weak moral spine and might be subject to bribery etc. #4 reminfmds me of the minority report film #5 you can always make a diagnostic mistake and hurt an individual. This reminds me of a renowned psychologist who for years claimed online that such disorders like narcissism are untreatable because there is "nobody there". If a person is diagnosed, rejected from all the kinds of jobs on the basis of a diagnosis, and left with no treatment, what do we leave him? A suicide or death by starvation and social ostracism? Having this access to knowledge, we can surely do better than that.

[@damuffin91]

This system would fuck over a lot of people... Theres a reason employers arent legally allowed to ask you about your medical history

[@AMNBYT]

The toxic individuals would find a way to fool the psychologists too. They are masters and will always find a way.

[@SONAAwareness]

It’s awful to work around narcissist! Dont allow the narcissist to separate you from everyone else because they will try to triangulate and manipulate others by turning everyone against each other.

[@lululuvsmith5656]

Absolutely

[@skaarlet1449]

This happened to me. I was in my late 20's and, being a new hire, was left with a 16 year old store manager every evening. She had a new boyfriend and was tired of staying so late, so she started closing the store up 15 minutes early. Not surprisingly, customers started to complain. At first, she blamed me, said I was forcing her to close the store so could get home to my kids. Then she started rumors with the other people in the store that I was talking crap about them. The store manager told me to call her every time this girl tried to close early, so I did. In the end, I quit because the girl offered s-e-x to the regional manager (he accepted--despite her age) and he expected me to "counter" with an offer of my own. The store closed two months after I left. This was ... 20 years ago. Last year, I came across a news story where that same girl, now 36, was arrested one state over after her child was found to have heroin and meth in its system. She was also charged with possession, along with a plethora of more minor charges. Seems being more worried about her boyfriend than keeping a steady job didn't work out after all. She isn't that pretty, fresh-faced girl anymore. Life has not been kind.

[@staciwhite4276]

SONA Awareness Yes, they will. It happened to me 15 years or so ago. It was miserable. I wish I had known then what I do now. I’d have handled things quite differently, but I did what I could back then to endure and earn a living until I transferred to a different job. My confidence is still a bit shaken to this day.

[@staciwhite4276]

Karen H I’m so sorry you went through that, too. These people make work hundreds of times more stressful than it needs to be.

[@ladymopar2024]

I hate to say but I go in do my work and go home, I've been so jaded over my years of my work history. Just don't have time for those kind of people I've even gone and change my shifts at work because of some people at times

[@cellison9414]

I had a situation at work with a supervisor who displayed psychopathic behavior. Luckily, my employer, the Director, was well aware, which came as a relief to me and others. Finally, this supervisor ended up being escorted of the property. It is true that this person had a small band of loyal fans. What about these people? Why do they continue to back bad behavior? Thanks.

[@brianwalsh1401]

Because they are the ones who aren't treated that way and therefore can't see it. I've worked in a couple of k-12 schools with administrators and co teachers who fell into this cluster B category. They have their circle of flying monkeys who they are charmers with and everyone else is fair game. Very psychologically trying for me as I was fair game to these despicable creatures. I was also married to a covert narc. They are poison.

[@dmrenterprizes4101]

😁 To see him being escorted off the property must have been a sweet moment for you.

[@dianaverano7878]

Psychopaths are manipulators. They lie all the time about their traits & accomplishments so people would become his fans. But there are those like you who can see right thru that person. You are wise.

[@Denise00700]

I’ve noticed poor management in the workplace. It allows aggressive employees to manipulate good people and destroy their livelihoods.

[@laurensbluerose]

Yes!

[@ericarivers3542]

Sounds like gwen my old coworker. O that manager believed any lie she told

[@sofiedouglas757]

They are little devils with ability for devastating destruction. I am getting such clarity on the bad behaviour !

[@monkachick]

I can absolutely confirm that this can happen today, I live it every day. Our work place values aggressiveness in employees so our likely psychopathic narcissist is not likely to be totally reined in. She is the biggest kiss butt to management but spends all of her free time getting people upset about stuff and creating drama. She is one of the most horrible people I have ever met in my life but she thinks we are friends and it will remain that way for as long as possible, it just isn't worth the drama to take her on, she will stop at nothing to take down an "enemy" and i wouldn't put it past her to actually kill someone.

[@ladymopar2024]

I suggest you start documenting everything, I work in a similar situation I don't think you can get away from it so I have learned over the years just to document everything cya

[@yaya14every81]

I currently work with a woman like this. She doesn’t stop. Her and I are not on speaking term but I’m recording everything she tries to do against me. She has ‘friends’.... These so-called ‘friends’ are doing the exact thing you’re doing not to get on her bad side. One evening two of her ‘friends’ were shredding her character apart for 2 hours. I did not participate. The two ‘friends’ were gloating how she can’t apply for a specific position because that manager wants nothing to do with her. Ie: during this pandemic we are allowed to work from home and most people only come to the office 1 a week. She has been coming 3-4 times a week. The sucking up NEVER stops with this woman.

[@jamesgerboc]

I experienced a very similar situation as this case for over 4 years. I was highly respected and successful. Yet I almost lost the battle. One problem is I couldn't fight what I couldn't see. Backdoor communications are deadly and kept private. Second, they have a habit of doing things that make others look good, making them reluctant to believe you. Finally, companies are focused on "team" and see you as being disruptive to that model. There would likely never have been a resolution but a new director came in, who knew and was screwed over years prior by this individual. The thing I found mist difficult was working with someone who goes against everything you stand for like you support them. Its like forced cognitive dissonance in reverse.

[@oppaloopa3698]

I'm sprry you had to go through that. Companies should be much more dedicated and involved with thd protection of employees.

[@cdorothy444]

Ya only solution is just leave

[@massswitch6661]

How you handle it after all.

[@juliettedowns5264]

My boss was fired 6 months ago all very similar so yes does still happen in this day and age. Within 6 months 16 people left because of him and every month more people went to HR to report his behaviours. In the end he was fired for drinking on shift. Love your videos thank you

[@rejaneoliveira5019]

Fascinating case! Unfortunately I think these types of people continue to thrive in many work settings. The sad part is that a lot of supervisors and managers are completely oblivious of employees like Dave. I strongly believe that workshops/ lectures in mental health topics must be implemented in companies as to increase awareness of the destructive power psychopaths and narcissists can create in organizations. Thank you again Dr. Grande!

[@cdorothy444]

Actually lots of supervisors are narcs

[@user-mv9tt4st9k]

Workshops like that might also make it possible for upper management to consider "Yeah, but he/she [the narcissist] is not THAT bad. Now we have the 'tools' to keep him/her under control." 'Been there. 🙄

[@GodListens77]

I'm in healthcare, working in a corporate environment. The medical director and director exhibit the good cop - bad cop routine. They allow and protect passive aggressive behavior from subordinates. They change the rules saying it's always been that way (and blame us for not knowing even though they never told us) causing us to question our own memories even if we have proof otherwise. Several of us realized how toxic the place is and are leaving. It astounds me how horrible this is and how upper management can't see the team falling apart, numbers are down, etc. High turnover, even from the original team members who are almost gone now, have become the norm. Not sure if it's because I now know what this behavior is or that there are more of these types in society, or both. Thank you for your information, it's very helpful.

[@pabs8345]

This happened to me 5 months ago when I was dismissed from work for complaining about a co-worker who regularly crossed boundaries. I was literally frog marched off the premises. Looking back with hindsight, getting the sack was the best thing that could've happened. I just see it as being ejected from an especially toxic work environment. I still feel sorry for those still work there though.

[@werrand]

It's amazing what can happen in the workplace. A friend had their manipulative bully co-worker fake a seizure when the boss called him out for insulting co-workers and trash talking them to their clients. The ambulance officer was actually laughing at him because he was that bad at acting (I believe it involved him dramatically flailing his limbs straight up in the air). A lesson that being good at manipulation doesn't necessarily equal high intelligence.

[@BAztid]

Lol something similar happened at my office a decade ago. The psychopath was very charming and always eluded disciplinary action, until one day he was called into a meeting with the boss after innumerable complaints. As the meeting concluded both men shook hands: at this point the now-exposed psychopath fell to the floor, acting like the boss had assaulted him. He tried to take legal action but nothing came of it and luckily we never saw the guy again.

[@mrs.reluctant4095]

Both dark triad case studies you made, the one with Jim and this one today are outstanding. The characteristics of the disorders are very clearly demonstrated. Absolutely wonderfully done.

[@Mia-lo8fg]

I worked for a guy just like Dave who tried to get me fired because he knew that I knew who he really was under that persona and I was a threat. After I left the company it took me a long time to recover from the stress, manipulation and lies I encountered. I wasn't the only victim in the company but like you said in your analysis people at top though this behavior was sign of ambition and they were probably psychopaths as well. Thanks Dr Grande for analysis it has given me some closure.

[@targoltran]

What I like most about Dr. Grande is, he discusses case studies. Text book definitions are great. However; he analyzes the behavior and the consequences. Dr. Grande is the best.

[@pedinurse1]

This happens all the time, management refuses to accept, believe the truth. Sometimes coworkers will even decompensate mentally due to these psychopaths behavior. It happened to me

[@leonfa259]

From my experience as a psychopath, upper management is the most psychopathic part of a company. Guess why they saw him as having management potential? 😉 Dave kinda reminds me of myself, started as an intern and by directly being good with the boss of my boss I had a project I managed on my own within one month. I also was in direct contact with the CEO who asked me at some point whether I wanted his role. I founded my own company while still "working". The only thing that really stopped me was that the head of HR was a narcissist I didn't get along with and the CEO made it clear that he will not overrule him, so when my contact ended I went with my own company.

[@travispickle8237]

Dave is most of middle management in the US.

[@brianwalsh1401]

I think alot of them are also in the CEO position as well.

[@conniethingstad1070]

in the real estate field, i find eventually, many of these get their due. People finally see who the person really is but it never happens as quickly as we would like it to happen. I like to say, what goes around comes around but not quickly enough!

[@SweetBlackSistah]

I just cannot get enough of these educational vids! I'm addicted and love psychology!

[@cdorothy444]

I’m addicted to big brains🧠

[@emizerri]

@@cdorothy444 then you're gonna love mine

[@debsabatino311]

I worked in a very toxic environment. The narcissists fed off eachother. They each had a gift of being extremely cunning. They could spot who to brown nose and who they could exploit in a second! This was amazing to watch, cuz I couldn't see what they saw. They were like the energizer battery bunny...just kept going and going and..... It was confusing to me why they didn't look exhausted, so much work!

[@TempermentalTart]

Feeding off of the energy of others and chaos, that’s how they stay so energetic.

[@phelanlow9572]

Dr. Grande: Thanks for covering this topic. It seems that the workplace also has a lot of social behaviors like don't complain and just do your work in order to behave professional at the work place. All the while, good workers get sabotaged, black balled, and set up to be fired from their jobs as this behavior can be among workers and those in the management track. I was always stuck at how to defend and protect myself against this behavior since documenting behaviour takes a long time and deciding what to document since there is a lot of confusion, and there's too much work to do with the trick of, "It only takes a minute to do the task," Which in reality, it takes several hours\days to complete.

[@aaronwalterryse4281]

From bullies in school all the way on up, authority figures tend to make excuses for the bad guys. I don't know if it's because they are afraid of them, or if the authority figures have underlying beliefs that people just can't be bad, so they come up with whatever rationalization allows them to maintain that belief.

[@leonfa259]

Authority figures often have similar traits and value allies and loyalty by similar people

[@aaronwalterryse4281]

@@leonfa259 All too often, in my experience, people who rise to positions of authority are surprisingly idealistic and/or surprisingly weak.

[@sandragrace4613]

Great. In addition, this video could easily be the dictionary definition of the typical office dynamic.

[@vb8801]

I knew a manager who would actually say "it's all about me" in meetings when people would raise issues. 7 people quit her team in a 6 month period and each time she would tell everyone the person left because they were lazy and greedy. She openly said she didn't like wfh because she couldn't intimidate people as easily and didn't want "email proof" of things she would say. When someone finally made an HR complaint the company found that she was unreliable in her recounting of events and overestimated her accomplishments but that nothing would be done because the company didn't want to "bet against itself". She's finally retiring soon, after a long 30 year reign of mentally abusing people.

[@jpp9876]

I wonder if the upper management who liked Dave had similar personality traits, causing them to not recognize his issues and comprehending the harm he was doing.

[@domgia9248]

We had a guy like that, tried to give him feedback on some work, he flipped out. Started talking to a co-worker about how he was going to mention I was being spiteful while jogging with a higher up. Co-worker reported this, epicly backfired.

[@dreamscape405]

I'm so happy I get to work remotely!! Ever since they kept us remote after covid, my health, mental and physical, have improved since I don't have to work in a toxic environment every day anymore. SO thankful for that!! Definitely saw a ton of this at work, even in entry level positions. Employers now days would be wise to screen their supervisors at least for this, but that takes $$$ they're unwilling to pay, meanwhile their company suffers for it.

[@SierraNovemberKilo]

A very interesting case study. I am constantly appalled by the poor recruitment selection processes that I see these days. Years ago, when I had recruitment selection training, there was much emphasis on creating a process that minimised what was then called 'the halo effect'. That is, the processes would pick up and eliminate grandstanding, lying, smarmy candidates whilst also giving quiet, thoughtful candidates a fair chance. Now it seems HR cuts have meant that the people doing job interviews have no or little training, they pick interview question lists off the internet and they have no other way of distinguishing between candidates than their 'gut feel'. All extremely bad. Managers who are allocated new workers this way really are swimming against the tide when they notice the new workers' shortcomings. It is, as you say, too late by then.

[@ladymopar2024]

Yes I totally agree very much so

[@anonymouspeacefulperson6199]

Okay let’s go back to 1995 🤔 I remember working for a company where teamwork was a must. The selection process was extremely rigorous with a group exercises in a scenario situation facilitated by the Selection team headed by Robert Georg Ahmed. They were able to see the group dynamics of how the candidates were able to work as part of a positive team along with the loud, quiet and pushy types of characters. Then after going through a group interview selecting only the people who were showing confidence but willing to take everyone’s opinions on board, were given a second two to one interview. I remember being promoted to a senior position in 1993. The manager from Halifax didn’t particularly like many of the staff and often brought employees in to reprimand them. I often made reports regarding adverse events that happened, however nothing was done about situations and I was often classed as the trouble maker for reporting issues. I had one situation that was particularly concerning in 1992, where I was on a business trip to Geneva. I was working in a sales accounts and foreign exchange and customs and excise position. A customer, lee Stevens, approached me inebriated and desperate for a certain brand of cigarettes, demanding that I should provide what he wanted and I was an imbecile for not getting extra supplies in Geneva. I tried to explain the company would not upload extra supplies in a foreign country as the service fees from the suppliers and service agencies were too expensive so the cost of the product would not make a profit. He became extremely aggressive towards me and grabbed my clothes and breasts lifting me off the ground pinning me against the wall. After making a report to my manager, I was branded a trouble maker. I also had an experience where I suspected a colleague, Mike was stealing from the company. After reconciling the accounts, I noticed that every time he and Glen, another colleague was on the team, money was missing from the money wallet and after counting the stocks of cigarettes, boxes were missing. I made a report to my manager after my concerns. Afterwards, I approached a senior colleague Steve, about the situation. He was completely unsympathetic and demanded that I should keep quiet as I was classed as a snitch within the company and I was threatened by him saying if I didn’t abide by what he said, he would ensure non of my colleagues would speak to me ever again. I was demoted for 6 months after this incident. I also worked with a colleague Richard Madden, a travelling bus driver who liked to make up stories about me being late for reporting to work, stealing from the company and staying at hotels, being inebriated and having all night parties. My colleague Dave did this with Richard and Frank and Tony together and often blamed me for being the one doing it. Strangely enough, I moved to a new company where Richard was working and I noticed that Antiseptic Wipes and Batteries and first aid plasters were often going missing in large quantities. I reported issues to the management. I noticed that some items missing from the cupboard were moved to another location for a week and then returned to make it look like I was inefficient ordering more batteries. Often, colleagues would ask me to order items knowing that the suppliers description for the items were ambiguous and I would end up ordering the wrong amounts. I noticed that my documents were tampered with, my word documents and excel spreadsheets were changed even after being protected with a password. I filed important documents for HR and a person with a key for the HR cabinet would unlock the cabinet knowing I had just locked it, because there wasn’t a witness and they wanted to try and make me out to be unreliable and not security conscious. I noticed that my drawers were constantly being unlocked even after locking them and food and teabags were tampered with. I noticed that I would leave my glass of water and tea on my desk to answer the door to invite visitors into the department and on my return, drink the water then feeling extremely dizzy and ill. I would leave my milk in the fridge and return the next day to find the milk making me feel really dizzy and headache. I would try to study as part of my performance management appraisals and experienced IT issues with the application and report it to the training staff and nothing used to get done to rectify the problem. When I first moved to the department the staff were extremely unfriendly and I got screamed at for ripping paper up into a confidential documents bag. I was distraught having moved from a department where there was a bullying culture and I got blamed for lack of staffing and customers complaining about lack of service staff contributing to their falls and lack of dignity. Strangely enough I came across lee again at a business function. He was very apologetic and quite friendly. I ended up the next day losing my eyesight and being sent home with ill health. I was bullied by the team for not being technically minded enough even though they knew I had changed industries and had previous basic IT experience. They said I lied on my CV even though I didn’t. I put on my cv, Microsoft Office experience but no qualifications in the subject and everyone in the department bullied me because they said I should be at expert level with qualifications in the subject before being offered a position as an grade 3 Administraton Assistant, even though most positions for Administration Office Management required Expert Level in Microsoft. Because the Tech people were experts, they said everyone should be experts even though it was a different job spec. I found the staff would have private meetings and not include me even though I was classed as their team. Then a day later, I would experience issues with my IT applications or food. I reported it to the manager but nothing really gets done. I put new systems in place, updated the department administrator and gave my manager the credit without taking away her responsibilities or credit for running the office effectively. I used to come to work feeling very down because of all the health issues I was experiencing and IT issues and group dynamics in one office. Many people had issues with each other and were all fighting for power. I would come to work feeling unheard, powerless and attacked for being an innocent person who had gone through a high profile fertility treatment clinic scandal and had been a victim of rape and abuse in Vienna. I used to request a private meeting with my manager in the CEOs office because when we had meetings in the restaurant or a coffee shop, people in the general public would listen into the conversation and turn around our words to put a negative spin on mine and my manager’s conversation I used to remain quiet and work consciously trying to block out the noise and group dynamics within the departments. I would often leave feeling extremely ill and stressed out. It was a very sad experience 😩🤕😔

[@ladymopar2024]

@Nenethegreat W most of us can relate and most of us working right to work state so we can it. . There's a whole bunch of politics behind that

[@anonymouspeacefulperson6199]

Nenethegreat W totally agree. There were a lot of rude staff where I worked and just seemed to get away with being like that from 97 - 2001, and even promoted. It’s just a shame that they pick on a victim of rape and drug abuse and blamed for channel 4 dispatches documentaries investigating her colleagues for inappropriate behaviour, when it was nothing to do with her. It’s very much a survival of the fittest culture.

[@ladymopar2024]

@Erika HR is a perfect job for narcissist, I they want to control everything, and have sex backward that doesn't surprise me that they would do something like that. In the long run maybe the job was not for you when you're better off now our HR person I tried to get really close to you then start spreading rumors to their higher-ups and my coworkers glad I got out of that job

[@kaseyjones2861]

Thank you for making this video. It describes my Father very well. I'm just learning about these personalities, and its really mind blowing after you have been left confused your entire life. My Dad just passed away, and everybody loved him on a shallow level. He basically really liked me for a while, from the age of 14-16. But he also required that I live under constant supervision, super controlling. So I decided to work non-stop for some freedom, and that's pretty much when he decided to not talk to me anymore. And then when I had children, I basically never heard from him again, and we live in the same town. I miss him so much, even though he never even talked to me. He's left my family in such a financial mess, and of course, everyone was in the dark. For the first time my family is able to come together a little bit. Its very confusing to have these kinds of personalities raise you.

[@scotty2tone]

🐢

[@nancywysemen7196]

disheartening but that's the way it is. historically and across the classroom. thank-you.

[@barrydworak]

This goes a long way towards explaining why I've been happiest when self-employed. When I had a lot of computer consulting clients, I saw these bosses. But no matter what, I was gone in a few hours, so it didn't impact me other than through empathy. The people in the office, however, could really show the effects.

[@salliegallegos918]

We had a “Dave” who was given access to people’s records; he brought up people’s personal information in public gatherings; he was a piece of work. He broke every rule in the book but still lasted a year.

[@nickfields7830]

This study was conducted almost 30 yrs ago yet characters like this still seem to flourish in the working world today. Probably safe to say things will not change & this behavior will continue to go unnoticed, disregarded & at times rewarded. Sad.

[@DeyvsonMoutinhoCaliman]

There was a guy like this in a school I worked, our luck is that he got into a car accident that led to a big problem in his spine, he could barely walk afterwards, so they retired him. Everybody was trying desperately to get out of the school to get away from him, except very few friends he had. When anyone told him to search for a professional to get help he would get mad, start screaming and pointing fingers, I was afraid of the day he would commit physical violence at the workplace. As a public servant, it was very hard to get rid of him.

[@infinityawaitsus]

yay! first notification i got after waking up. i’ve heard numerous questionable statistics about sociopathy/psychopathy in the workplace and am curious to hear about this!

[@brianwalsh1401]

I think they low ball the numbers of narcissist and sociopaths in general. I think they represent 10-15% of the population and are often quoted as 1%. The N.I.H puts narcissists as 6% of the pop. and Dr. Martha Stoudt who wrote "The Sociopath Next Door" at 4% of the pop. These "people" are everywhere and cause great damage to society. I know I've dealt with a lot of them in my family of origin, relationships, school and in the work place. For most of the time I had no idea what I was dealing with.

[@GoldenRetrievers4President]

Psychopaths can often hide their psychopath as can sociopaths and both can be incredibly charming and influential. They are different from sociopaths in the sense that psychopaths feel no remorse when they do wrong. Sociopaths when the manipulate people and cause trouble effectively don't feel any remorse. When sociopaths do so they do feel remorse on some level, but they still do what they do. Both tend towards having narcissistic personalities. Hierarchical corporations tend to be stressful places to work with most people being ambitious and fighting for upward mobility. If you work within one that is not so they you are very lucky, and I am happy for you!

[@billhildebrand5053]

Comment 100: Dr. Grande I’ve worked in a company for 28 years and I believe I’ve seen this again and again. Thanks for the thorough analysis - I will watch it again. Thanks again Dr Grande 👍👍😍🤔🤔🤔😍

[@marisawoods]

My dad is exactly like "Dave." He destroyed my mother and brother, who are both dead, now. He destroyed me, until I cut ties with him. I don't wish negative things on him, but could care less what happens to him. As far as I'm concerned, my dad "died" the first time he abused my mother. I hope God opens his eyes.

[@julias.9629]

It still exists in 2022. This video encourages me to talk to the RH. They know our chef is more than difficult in persoality but i do not know to which extend they know to recognize narcissism/psychopathy. To this point the fight was taken from inside: making my collègues aware so they do not let themselves instrumentalize by him anymore. Thats where we stand now.

[@joannepierce2366]

Thank you for clarifying and validating these situations. I experienced this in workplaces several times over my lifetime, the worst ending in physical harm to me. These people always kept their jobs. Thank you. With your efforts and those of other health professionals, maybe the ignorant people will learn, and not insist these situations are "personality conflicts" that the victim must resolve.

[@leonfa259]

Psychopaths usually don't care about you unless you endanger their position, don't let them use your work or they want your position.

[@valeskavictoria1278]

As someone who works in tech, I want to emphatically emphasize that "don't reinvent the wheel" is figuratively our mantra as software engineers. We're taught it in school, we're taught it in work, that's just how this industry goes. Now, that doesn't also mean that he wasn't using it as an excuse, but it is important to realize that software engineering is VERY different from most other industries in this regard.

[@skaarlet1449]

I wonder if the people who refuse to see this behavior had or have a person they are close to and with whom they had or have regular contact who had these same patterns/symptoms/behaviors. Thus, they are accustomed and accept these things as normal and don't even recognize that they're wrong.

[@ladymopar2024]

Boy I really love this one, I have been in many situations with this personality. I guess it's a life experience but I have learned to document everything. If you can document everything early as you say and then turn it in to the right people you stand a better chance. But that's my advice to everybody is document every single thing. I have been able to get people fired sometimes not in time. You are correct in finding these things out early. I do notice from my work experience that a lot of these people work in HR thank you for a great video

[@kellyannallen2454]

Good morning ☀️Thanks Dr. Grande. I find it quite common for people at the work place to See what they want to see. Hope you have a nice day 😉

[@Lesleylavarack]

Brilliant. I suspect my co-worker is a psychopath. However not as destructive as case study "Dave". But working with her for 10 years has taken its toll on me.

[@angelarch5352]

this type of narcissism and psychopathy and lying is incredibly successful in a workplace every time, no matter how smart the people working there are. people react with emotions over intellect, and I see it repeat over and over to this day unfortunately.

[@MJ-fb3bf]

Wonderful channel this is what everyone outhere should be watching , congratulations !!!

[@jtnelson89]

Some years ago, the administrator that my boss reported to was replaced with a person who showed a lot of these traits. A lot of very good people left because of her, and for those who stayed, we had to endure her bullying and sabotage of the unit. The entire unit complained to the higher management, but she was left in place because she was in an illicit relationship with her boss. We believe she also embezzled $100,000. But our type of organization usually does all it can to avoid public scandal, so that part was never made public. When her illicit relationship with her boss did become public knowledge, he had to resign and she left within a few months. She very pointedly told us that she had a good recommendation from the top management. She went on to an important post in another similar institution but within a year, they eliminated her position and demoted her. Finally someone saw through her.

[@leonfa259]

Or they just saw her as trouble for themselves.

[@charlieangkor8649]

Workplace abuse like this seems to me to be rampant in the society. Apparently often you need to deal with abuse from workplace or customers (if you run your own business). Fortunately there is a way how to supress work for money from your life: reduce spending, live frugally, optimize shopping prices, repair, DIY. It can also be a lot of fun, especially the DIY and repair part. This way you don't have to deal with going to work or running business and its negative consequences so much, and you have a wider choices of work for money, so you can select a lower level of abuse. Because now a wider choice of works for money can cover your reduced expenses. Repairing or DIY at home or with appropriately select friends has no narcissistic abuse. If a friend attempts to abuse you, you can fire him immediately without an effect on your earning.

[@Marella2024]

Thank you thank you thank you! I have lived the case study for years unfortunately.

[@dagda825]

Wow thanks for the insights. You cleared up many misconceptions I had of psychology. This channel is a boon for we who are uneducated in mental health issues.

[@lauragb3677]

I actually feel relieved watching this. I worked in a large bank and saw similar personalities and behaviors. When the Erwin who should’ve been fired would get promoted...it made the rest of feel crazy. Or like we needed to take up bad behaviors! Whew. All makes sense now.

[@Swoop187OG187]

"He lied when he said he was honest"..... lol. These videos are great.

[@budgetnlife.456]

Whenever I hear about physchopths/narcissists, they're always in reference to a Male. I was just wondering if there are female cases? I had a female supervisor that I believed was a narcissist, and possible sociopath, who made my life and other coworkers life miserable. It took the company over a year and a half to finally deal with her by shipping her off to another store.

[@SuperEvilC]

Plenty of female cases but they tend to get away with more using sex appeal with men.

[@sarawilliams5990]

Because many of these behaviors are more acceptable coming from men in the workplace. When a man acts like this, it's often brushed off as, "There will always be domineering guys like that."

[@RATD0GG]

There’s a decent number of videos on female narcs, especially moms and girlfriends/wives. I hardly ever hear about female psychopaths though, now that you mention it.

[@iDmple]

My boss, a psychopathic female in her 40s, was transferred to another department after a number of people complained of her behavior matching exactly what Dr. Grande referenced in this video.

[@cdorothy444]

There is a saying that female bosses who aren’t married are the worst. More Jealousy/sadistic

[@graceandglamor]

I’ve seen this happen in some companies. It’s amazing how power can make executives over confident in their own judgement of character.

[@Fordarktimes]

I work at a very modern pigeon farm and my job is to clean everything so I'm a very easy prey for my pshycopath co worker he destroys the equipment that I work with he breaks the the eggs of the pigeons, tries to let me fight with my normal co worker and a lot more things I really wanna expose him but it's so hard the only thing that I can do probably is to put hidden cameras, hes a very charming old man, I know for sure he's a pshycopath.

[@ryanrivard1455]

I was thinking the same thing. Carry a voice recorder or try to find a body camera that connects through your phone. Even if nothing happens to change the abuse. Gather the evidence for a lawsuit.

[@Fordarktimes]

@@ryanrivard1455 yes but it's illegal i think

[@ryanrivard1455]

@@Fordarktimes some states only require one person's consent to record a conversation. You may want to Google your state to see what the legal consent for recording is? Also, you can record, video anything in public. There is no expectation of privacy. On the job I have no idea how that would work? Best of luck to you

[@Fordarktimes]

@@ryanrivard1455 thank you so much

[@ellietobe]

Over some years of working in healthcare I have worked with at least two of this type of person. Criminal behavior, blame shifting, constantly going to those in authority, that no one else would ever think of approaching in order to avert being fired. The fairly “normal” people working their asses off while this guy is always finding something else to do and/or taking time off that was not due him. Always getting special privileges when he did next to nothing in the work place. We would be amazed by how this one guy in particular was constantly getting above and beyond what he deserved. Amazed about how he had these friends in high places. He finally got fired for writing illegal narcotics prescriptions. He did not have a license for that and yet there was still someone that would have spoken for him but they knew it would only effect their own job negatively. Just incredible.

[@sandraagens9646]

Yes, this still happens. I once worked as a professional in a workplace where a coworker caused a number of good people to quit or be fired in the 6 years I was there. I quit because of narcissistic abuse which caused a major depressive episode. HR refused to let this individual go, so I felt I had to leave for my own mental health.

[@serendipitous_synchronicity]

The mind boggles!!! Great presentation Dr Grande. Thank you 😀

[@Cyanide_fist]

It would unfortunately seem that a lot of larger companies and corporations reward this type of behavior and this type of personality. I personally found myself in a very similar situation and the company kept on dismissing my complaints due to the management position of the perp. When outside investigators came in, they identified the perp's behavior as harrasment, sexual harrasment and workplace bullying. Despite that and other evidence, the perp denied everything and even went as far as to deny his own offensive email responses to me. Which was good enough for the company to dismiss my verbal and written complaints. In the end the perp got promoted and it was suggested to me to leave the company if I can't function with him under one roof.

[@einsteindarwin8756]

It definitely happens today. I am in a creative field and I can’t tell you how Many times I have been told I have no ideas but the people with all the ideas have never been willing to do the real work.

[@deemarie5534]

Sounds like my old boss.

[@uptown3636]

I like the new glasses, Dr. Grande. They look sharp.

[@rerite2]

As a veteran of the office wars, some gratuitous advice. For those people who are working in a psychologically toxic environment, I suggest the PDAD strategy. PDAD stands for: play dumb and document. If a supervisor or co-worker does/says something questionable, make a note of it: time, place, witnesses, documents, etc. Be disciplined about this. If you're targeted by a supervisor and/or HR, you can be sure that he/she is "stacking" evidence against you. Avoid argument. Avoid meetings to "clear the air," so to speak. Be cool, calm, and document. Play dumb. Keep your documentation outside of the office. And something else I've found useful: the supervisor/boss that's targeting you will die some day. Like everyone, there was a day when he/she was born. Everyday, everyone gets a little slower, a little older. It's a law. No getting around it. And a day will come when everybody draws the last breath. Maybe in a car accident next week. Maybe in a hospital 20 years from now. But that moment of the last gasp is coming. So let them do their best to destroy you. If you've done nothing wrong, you've got nothing to worry about. Take care of yourself. It'll all pass.

[@mrs.reluctant4095]

Fantastic topic, doctor! Will comment on it after work. Thank you for your work. 🐰🌹

[@GeorgideMarne]

OMG, I thought my former boss 16 years ago was bipolar narc, exactly this behaviour, he was actually psychopathic. I resigned back then and changed location.

[@Pacman8907]

Working with one of these right now. Thank you for helping me understand their behavior.

[@3lsaabe]

Thanks for this one. Yes ,it still happens .

[@Louann95]

Im literally down the rabbit hole in these case studies. It would be awesome if you started these types of videos up again Dr. G!

[@austinthornton8729]

Great video excellent example of someone to be aware of in the workplace.

[@billhildebrand5053]

Comment 363: I re-listened again to see where the PCLR meter, the psychopathic Checklist revise, put Dave at 13:01 to 14:09 at the 97th percentile of factor 1 psychopathy and 41 percentile of inmates and 49th percent of forensic patients. Good work Dr. Grande 😀😀😀🤪🤪🤪

[@izawaniek2568]

Hard to bear such behaviours, yet they are more common than we think. Sadly.

[@mjinba07]

While intervening with a psychopath immediately might be the best strategy, delay occurs for a huge variety of reasons - Initially tending to giving the psychopath the benefit of the doubt, doubting one's own impressions, just accepting that some people are difficult to work with, not appreciating the pernicious nature of the behavior, coworkers and supervisors staying focused on their own tasks, fearing that if they speak up the psychopathic coworker may become punitive, seeing that the psychopath is already favored by management, etc.... Intervening quickly is really dependent on a savvy that most people don't possess.

[@janmclain6301]

Oh my goodness, Dr. Grande, I don't know how you do it. But you just keep telling more and more stories about my life! I worked for a female version of "Dave" for 10 years, and it was pure hell. We were a small satellite office far from the home office, and all of her meetings involved her screaming, cursing, and yelling at everyone except the 2 employees who sucked up to her. She would single out certain people for her abuse, and turn other employees against them. Nobody dared say anything to the home office for fear of her retaliation. And this was in a nonprofit organization! She could turn on the charm when district managers or someone from the home office made a visit. They were supposed to be "surprise visits", but she was always tipped off ahead of time. Every single person (except her 2 "friends") developed migraines within a year of going to work there. And she was promoted to district manager. I ended up leaving that organization and went to work for another at half the pay just to get away from her. Thank you so much for this video. And you are absolutely correct, sir, in stating that it still goes on today.

[@GentlRebel]

Does this happen today? Yes. It happened to me. It has been two years since the person finally went too far and was let go. I still feel the effects and I believe it damaged my career. I have a theory that the advent of texting and chat technology has made these people much more dangerous and effective. The person in my situation was always texting and used it as a tool and a weapon. One time the individual accidentally sent a text to me that they were writing about me and it was clearly with the intent to damage my credibility at the company, as it was a lie about my performance. It was one of the worst things I have ever experienced in a 30-year career. I suspect it happens often.

[@cynthiaallen9225]

Unfortunately, it does happen a lot. The Male-dominated upper-level management accepts it. They like fighting in a toxic environment.

[@tatuparkkari690]

Probably ur best/most interesting video yet, thank you!

[@rogerhinman5427]

We have a new supervisor on third shift who is bullying the supervisors of second shift into adopting her opinions of how to manage their people. "Her nasty e-mails" is becoming a daily term. She started as just another worker but got picked by a supervisor who was retiring to replace him. She was charmingly manipulative then and has really gotten bad now. She even has that swaggering strut you mentioned. Glad I'm retiring.

[@Denise00700]

I like your new glasses! 🤓

[@Realestatefocused]

My boss is 100% psychopathic male I know for a fact. Because I believe that I am a covert psychopath, . My question is we work extremely well together we both recognize each other for who we are. We both constantly test each other, but we have a mutual agreement to respect each other’s boundaries. We do not talk about our personal lives.Etc. can anyone please give some information on the future of this relationship? This is the first time in my life. I have worked with someone like me and I’m OK with it. I think it’s because we are both mature and tamed and in controlled ourselves and keep our impulses under control for the betterment of our common goals with the company. Thank you. I also want to make it very clear that I am extremely hard worker I do not break the wall. I was raised in a loving family very disciplined although I am not like everyone else I do not feel empathy or remorse. I do not break the law or hurt people , as you mature, you learn to control yourself. Thank you

[@ambrr_lily]

This was a really good one! I love the real world story line. We all know a Dave.

[@JustMe-ob3nw]

A woman who has ( zero) management skills and just high school education was just promoted to manager in my workplace because she is knowledgeable about the procedures of her department and others she worked for. She fits about 90% of these traits. An absolute scary jerk, an a- hole… The thing is that her department works in conjunction with the one I am in and we will have to deal a lot with her what is scaring the life out of me…if by whatever reason my manager quits she will most likely become our boss, what is giving me daily nightmares and anxiety…

[@pavelpipovic6692]

Great piece of work! Now the crucial question is: "How would one act best to stop the psychopath in a company where the boss has little knowledge/awareness for psychopathic behavior or narcism?" Interpreting it as "He (the psychopath) is a real fighter..."

[@jeskaaable]

This is word for word my last mission. I gave my notice after 6 months because the "Dave" in question was backed up by his superior "Dave 2". Three out of four in the team have left the company, nobody questioned the Dave. To this day, the most callous imbecile i've ever met. Taught me to always be on guard.

[@kanta32100]

Psychos rarely 'work' alone, if Dave is not even hiding it then most of the company is crazy.

[@oscarmaidana9294]

I was Frank once. So frustrating. The worst is that the divine justice doesnt exist. This people usually goes up and up.

[@christinah.8504]

Robert Hare's Snakes in Suits describes this behavior to a tee. They turn upper leadership into patrons and everyone else are pawns. So interesting. It's amazing that these people aren't screened out during interviews.

[@Angelofexecution]

Only halfway through the video and for some of those traits and examples mentioned I am reminded of the latest addition to our front office team at the hotel I work with. It's been almost a full year that I've had the feeling that he disrupts the dynamic by pretending he knows the job he's doing, yet has never stayed long at a job. He is letting people do his job whilst pretending to be superior and better at supervising, and fit to replace our team leader, and then he is 3 to 4 weeks sick because he doesn't take care of himself, and leaves us understaffed and without knowledge of how long the doctors have decided to let him stay put. Last year after a conflict with him, only 6 months after he got in, I was that close to looking for a new job. I let myself be persuaded by our team leader that other things might be the factors of stress here, and gave myself time, to observe the longer he stayed around her to charm her, the less work they did (which evidently fell on my and my third colleague's shoulders). Now, after having had to replace him on days where he was sick, having to work seven days in a row and no time to care for my own health, mental, physical, I'm slowly looking to depart this workplace, because it's not getting better, and it won't.

[@lundsweden]

People like this damage coworkers, but also their own companies/organisations. They will create drama, kiss up and kick down, which may or may not work for them, but destroys others and of course, productivity!

[@Seemashe]

Thanks Doc ! Great video! Can u pls do a video about the relationship between a psycopathic father and His Children ?

[@albrtl]

Ah yes, my friend and colleague "Dave". I'm surprised just how many knew him.

[@natlenan6743]

I've worked with a few in my career but the most recent few somehow clustered together in one workplace. This is definitely a subject that is NEVER addressed in a workplace. I was Gaslighted into being demoted because 2 psychopathic best friends (who hated eachother of course) who were my employees, didn't like that I held them responsible for their actions at work. Nobody ever had with them. They sought to ruin my life and tried everything in the book to do so. Fake crying, making up scenarios that never happened. Destroying my tools. One of them in particular tried to sue us. It never went anywhere because she had nothing to sue us for except not liking authority. The other one was doing shady, illegal acts to our clients etc. They made sure to make friends with everyone in the workplace as well including attempting to become friends with the owner. I could talk about it all day but for years the owner of the business who did not work with us just took it as "we don't like eachother" and because I was the supervisor that means I'm bad at my job. (Even though I've been in the same career position for 25 years with no issues) one of them wanted my job. They triangulate, lie, covet etc. Then years later that owner came to me and told me I was right and that those 2 people are STILL causing her issues and they don't even work there anymore. It was nice to be validated but really you can't get that time back. Psychopaths make work a war zone. And it's not fair to force your employees to live like that. The employers who refuse to address it are just as bad as the perpetrator. That was almost worse than dealing with the employees.

[@sempermutabilibus8300]

I LOVE those videos that tackle workplace problems and problematic personalities. It gives me a lot of insight and understanding of things that used to happen where I had been working. I was always struggling and I quit working for corporates years ago because of that but I'm planning on returning to the workforce once again. So these videos help me A LOT! Thank you so much, Dr. Grande.

[@tnguyen9562]

Wow, eye opening video! About myself. :(

[@universe2198]

I have seen many!! (Medical field) !! Good case presentation!!🙏

[@donnagolder7893]

Dr. Grande, I disagree with you on one important point. To take action immediately by reporting behaviors and consequences may look as if the reporter/complainer is jealous and petty. Truly. Especially this is true when a panel and others are asked to a group meeting during which the men point out (with emotion and assertiveness) that the women are jealous and envious of the woman in question. It would take me a couple of hours to cover the actions and consequences and terrible harms which happened. Amazing and fascinating. I immediately recalled Taylor Caldwell’s book, Wicked Angel.

[@SQRH3]

At 18:55 of the video - psychopaths and narcissists always have friends and can keep friends in the company, some people just don't see through the mask. So why is this? Why do so often, usually really good people, seem to befriend psychopaths?

[@thebaconsonful]

Because we are very good at socialising, sensing what people like and don't like. Edit: charming would be the word I am looking for.

[@alejandropereyrarozas3371]

Hi Todd, this case is amazing. It shows a lot about how crazy organisations and people can be. Now I'm scared to go to work ;)

[@maegs1982]

Hey Dr. Grande. I am loving the netflix series 'You', and was wondering if the main character could actually be a realistic personality profile, or if his empathy for some people and his obvious psychopathic nature is just not possible. Thanks, I hope to see a video about this one day! You recently did one about Michael scott of the office, which was awesome! I also love that show, and loved how you were able to pick apart his personality and explain what you think his disorder would be, if he had one at all. Thanks Dr Grande for all your amazing work. Its helped me understand so many people in my life, as I am the type of person that seems to attract narcissistic types. You have helped me to understand their mindset and prepared me to see early warning signs so that I can practice putting boundaries in place early on. Thanks so much, again! ❤

[@Hugging_Cactus]

Brilliant discussion. i actually think psychopathy has morphed as society pays less attention to actual behavior and appearance. i’ve read about this case study many times and its the subject of the book Snakes in Suits by Dr Hare. my brother has all the traits of factor one and two psychopathy, but he also is a Hoarder with OCD. His work place manipulations over 30 years are identical to the behaviors described in the case study; over dozens of jobs. Victor has actually described his own behavior to me, which is how i know. Psychopaths will tell you what they do, if you listen to what they tell you. they are disturbing empty people. and dangerous. nice work Dr Grande.

[@dafnaef1]

Amazing! Every word here made me think of our prime minister... apparently a successful psychopath! Greatings from Israel ❤

[@Danielle-zq7kb]

I love how management thought Dave was leadership material! So many companies I’ve worked for have promoted Dave types - although they have been a little smarter about their behavior in the beginning.

[@laurensbluerose]

Explaining what the workplace did wrong really helps me and being proactive in isolating and handling potential psychopaths that I deal with in my business. Before I started my own business I was attacked by narcissist like this Dave, there was one for every job-I kid not, it was awful. They sabotaged everything all the time. Mgmt never did anything. In the end, mgt gets fired. 4 jobs.