What is the difference between Avoidant Personality Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder?

This video describes differences between Avoidant Personality Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder. Avoidant Personality Disorder is characterized by fear of social situations, social inhibition, panic attacks, isolation, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, and feelings of inferiority. Social Anxiety Disorder is similar, but the symptoms are less severe. Social Anxiety Disorder is often associated with increased insight, better prognosis, and higher self-esteem as compared to Avoidant Personality Disorder. The counseling treatments for both disorders are usually similar.

[@MrItsalie]

I can't even be close to my closest friends, people I have know for 10 years I still feel uncomfortable and anxious around them.

[@ΜοναχικόςΛύκος-σ7β]

Same

[@salzwell25]

I'm the same 😢

[@thereseeklund1332]

AND family members...practically every human being

[@dianamlv]

Same im honestly kind of happy that I've seen this because i didnt really know why i am always so conscious of how people feel about me and feel so belittled and when they seem to not me much attention i always ask myself if they dont like me anymore and im so happy to honestly know that im not the only one going through this things

[@elianderson2290]

Same, it's eating me alive.

[@sashagarval276]

I feel like everyone else knows how to be a human being, except me.

[@imaneb6559]

Same. I feel like I was sent down here with missing pieces. And there's nothing I can do about it even professional help isn't an option where I'm from.

[@OrisueCrew]

Imanedoesit same, but we have to keep on fighting. Can't let this define us or debilitate us. I hope if anything, you get help for any depression this may be causing you. I know depression can be debilitating. I am a psychology major and will be entering grad school to become a therapist. I know it is hard and want you to know you're not alone. You may be more sensitive than others, but that is not the worst thing in the world.

[@sean919191]

Yea, exactly

[@Amenta013]

Literally me.

[@Keepinitreel108]

Sasha GarVal I sometimes feel that I'm not really a human being.

[@marelicainavokado]

I like his explanation more than the usual "people aren't judging you, you're just imagining things". He explains that people ARE judging an avoidant's behavior and will turn against him even if he did no harm to them. People will mock you if they consider you an awkward loser - the trick is to learn not to acknowledge their opinion, but that's hard to achieve when you have no confidence.

[@LilRedRasta]

Neglect...bingo. You described my childhood. My parents were overprotective AND they neglected me. My parents are also loners. They don't really have many friends, they don't really even speak to each other, and they don't really show affection towards each other, etc. So when I was growing up we did nothing as a family. We only went on ONE family vacation. One. They often left me in my room. I really can't remember us ever having long deep conversations about anything. Occassionaly my mom would take me to the movies, and occasionally my dad would play basketball with me but those were fairly rare occasions. They discouraged me from talking to other kids, and they always would try to keep me from doing risky things even when I got older. As a result, I often isolated myself because I was never taught social skills. Like if you see your child has no friends, wouldn't you be concerned? Not my parents. They didn't give a shit probably because they also had no friends. I love them because they provided for me, but they dropped the ball in other areas. No parent is perfect I guess. At least I had a dad and mom.

[@vl2663]

Holy shit that’s the story of my life. Fuck, I’ve never had someone’s life story be so similar to my own. Because of my parents I don’t know how to socialize or be a normal person. I’ve also barely had friends in life. I didn’t actually start having friends till I was in 8th grade cause I couldn’t connect with people for the longest time. Even to this day I still struggle connecting with people and the people I do connect with often end up taking advantage of me in some form, it fucking sucks

[@samanthaspurgeon2864]

Everything in this life feels awkward to me. I feel awkward every second of everyday. Awkward in my on skin. Even when I'm alone.

[@annelise610]

omg same! I feel like it has been heightend for me lately. Its nice to know someone else feels similar, although it sucks and Im sorry!

[@SpaceCattttt]

Having suffered from APD on a major scale for the last 26 years (I'm 40 now), I can't but agree with your assessment of the disorder and of how it differs from the perhaps more common general social anxiety problems. I've also been diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, which in my opinion makes APD so much worse to cope with, because not only do I have a large number of social stressors to deal with, but my main stressor is actually my own body. And I take that with me wherever I go, don't I? So whenever I've hypothetically finished speaking in front of a crowd, the anxiety and fear of being judged isn't relieved by removing the stressor, because I carry another one around at all times. The only relief comes from being isolated. But even then, my mind is filled with regrets over missed opportunities, loneliness, apathy and feelings of my life slipping away un-lived. And that lasts until the next social obligation shows up, before which I will worry constantly until it's finally over and done with. It has no time limit. If I'm expected to do something out of my comfort zone 3 months from now, I will worry for 3 months beforehand. This is no way to live. It's exhausting and completely drains any enjoyment out of life. And in my case, it means that I'm unable to work, make friends, form romantic relationships, travel, or just socialize in general. I just sit at home reading books and order groceries online. Every day is an endless routine of asking "Why" questions. Why am I here? What's the point? Why was I born with these problems? Why don't I end it and ease the burden on others? And I never find the answers, of course, because there are none. And I'm too much of a coward to kill myself. Which is ironic, since you wouldn't expect someone like me to have the self-preservation instinct. Anyway, I suppose I'm writing this as a warning to others, so that they will consider seeking professional help as soon as possible and avoid ending up avoiding life as I have done.

[@user11mc]

This is my life exactly and it’s just getting worse. I’ve lost connection with my daughter and family, because I’m expected to cook and I’m terrified of cooking! I get anxious just thinking that tomorrow I have to cook for everyone and the fear that they will judge my cooking. Never had the cooking thing before, where did it come from? Ugh

[@gumby641]

thank you teppolundgren..I know about BDD, and wondered about the overlap with SAD, and APD..I hope we get better...prayers and good wishes

[@daringgreatly8473]

I relate to your post on so many levels!

[@vl2663]

Omg same here, I’ve been avoiding life severely for the past 5 years. I wasn’t able to finish high school and I can’t work or be out for long periods of time. I also have BDD and it does make the avoidance even worse. I feel completely hopeless nowadays as I’ve been at home far too long and I only see my only irl friend a few times a year. My parents are emotionally neglecting and abusive and so I can’t even count on them for emotional support. And because of BDD I feel like I’m too ugly to ever be in a relationship or even have someone interested in me sexually. I feel so undesirable and unloveable and unwanted by almost everyone

[@elianderson2290]

I think I have a strange case of SAD and/or AvPD: I don't like to socialize because I always feel awkward, tense and anxious. I have to be this perfect social person and I can't afford to make mistakes. I fear that if I do make a mistake, I will be unattractive and people will silently judge me. I like to stay inside yet I have a crazy need to socialize with others. Strangely enough, I'm really good with people and I know how to socialize on a superficial level. Almost everybody that I come in contact with likes me. I make new acquaintances everywhere I go and I tend to be quite popular within big groups. I sometimes get complimented by people for my networking skills. If I tell people I suffer from social anxiety, they laugh and think I'm kidding. It's so strange because I never feel comfortable around anyone. Not even my own family. People see me as a friend yet I never really feel the same way. I have no idea how to deal with it? Does someone relate?

[@somegreatusername9892]

I have the same problem. Only recently I have managed to get a bit closer to my family, hugs are still very awkward but it's something. :)

[@noahheninger]

I think the difference between SAD and APD is that, with SAD, you have the anxiety itself, and with APD, you have the pervasive beliefs and habits that arise from it. And I don't think those with with APD lack insight. Rather, they are self-reflective to a fault. They know their worldview is irrational--it just doesn't make any damn difference. Like any personality disorder, the rational part of their brain isn't what's in control.

[@perlag5344]

Exactly this.

[@dutchray8880]

I've always simply thought of avoidant PD as the extreme on the social anxiety continuum, but you may have a good point, although people with either diagnosis often seem to have irrational beliefs that others are scrutinizing them.

[@vl2663]

I feel like I have APD then because I’ve been avoiding people and places to an extreme extent for half a decade now, and I definitely feel inferior to others and in general I fear I’ll get bullied again like I was all the time growing up.

[@ailaaaishapath9823]

AvPD also affects not just your social life but your relationship with your job, hobbies, daily routine etc. It tend to manifests itself as persistent procrastination, difficulty starting and continuing any task. for example when you try pursuing your hobby which did not work out as you expected then you feel dissappointed and loath your ability even if you're learning. subsequently you drop and avoid the hobby for weeks or months or years because you dont think you are good enough for it, not enough time, not in the 'perfect' state of mind and so on.

[@TheChovermale]

The holidays are so hard, I stay in my room the entire time.

[@elianderson2290]

I know right? New years evenings are the worse for me.

[@jonpaulbillingsleyjr.6420]

I'm a 36 year old, male. Diagnosed social anxiety disorder 2 times. I don't believe avoiding interaction will help me. I avoid interaction because 1. I'm generally not interested in anything anyone has to say. 2. I feel very uncomfortable with the entire interaction. 3. It's very stressful trying to listen, understand and form a response on the spot. Small talk is the worst! I'm living with grandparents now. Not working. I stay home daily. I'm actually okay being somewhat alone. It's predictable. I have no other health issues. I could get a job but there's no motivation to. It would take a lot. I've had about 16 different jobs. I usually end up quiting without notice due to stress/anxiety. I never care at all about the work I'm doing anyway plus I never form close friendships so walking out the door without notice is quite easy. It's embarrassing when family finds out though. This has happened over and over and over and over. I want to make it in my own, I know my fears are irrational, but the pain is real. Thanks for the video.

[@herbprophet]

SAME!

[@katana5562]

Jon Paul Billingsley jr. Asperger’s?

[@jariheimoluoto4959]

how do you ask help from a world that will turn on you the second you show weakness...

[@Justyn219]

Lol

[@LeighWestMusic]

Totally feel you on this.❤️

[@EllePole]

You ask a reputable, qualified professional. Stay away from Twitter!

[@semaj4324]

Jari Heimoluoto ask Jesus for help and he will deliver you 🙏🏼

[@tri99er_]

@@EllePole I was legit dumped by a professional. I once collected all my strength and got to sign for weekly therapist appointment. It actually didn't make a difference at all and after few months she started a office repairs and said she will call me after few weeks. But then, she never did. I even called her myself after a month, and she just said she will call me later. Now its a year. I am not able to seek another therapist, because I now fear the same outcome. I think this is literally the worst thing a therapist could do to someone with anxiety type disorder. Its literally one of the things I feared the most. And it was hard by itself to start to talk to a therapist. And now I even have some real experience. I never did anything inappropriate, just to clarify if someone thought I might've. All I did is sat on the sofa and answered the questions, when I could. All that comes to my mind, is that she dumped me because there wasn't any progress. I guess, I'll just try to live by myself as I did for all my conscious life. Both desiring and even more fearing normal social interaction.

[@DarKTsunG]

I have APD and I think watching this made me realize something about myself, the characteristics you described as a lack of insight I've always thought of as actually having insight. I always think I know someone else's motivation and that I'm an expert at reading subtle facial cues, body language etc. all leading toward the conclusion that most people lie to me most of the time or are at the very least withholding something from me. Thanks for the explanation.

[@DrGrande]

You're welcome!

[@evastavreva9470]

I never actually knew this disorder existed..i always used to think I had social anxiety disorder, but that seemed very different because it wasn't just one stressor that would cause this feeling, but rather constant worry and trying to avoid people. I always thought I was just constantly over-exaggerating things...

[@docbainl9504]

I would just like to clarify some things from someone who suffers with both avoidance personality disorder and also obsessive compulsive disorder. There are a few differences in social anxiety disorder and avoidance (pd) just like the good Doctor states. I would like to give a few examples. As I have gotten closer to 30, I have seen my disorder get progressively worse and until I was recently diagnosed I just thought I was an "introvert". I constantly avoid ALL new social situations. I do not like meeting new people. I have a fiance and if we go out we do so at times that I can avoid dense amounts of people (right before a store closes or opens). I chose a job specifically where i do not have to interact with people for long times. I changed my career completely and regressed into a life of avoidance . I don't attend baby showers as I'm childless, I don't do birthdays for children or adults unless it's for direct family. I will attend most to all family events unless it it's not direct family. I do not attend work functions, work parties I don't like meeting anyone new for any reason. I used to be a dog trainer and occasionally still attend dog training seminars and meets however recently my disorder has gotten so bad I'm struggling to remain connected to a great group of dog trainers for no reason. Other then I just cannot deal with the anxiety and the hassel of getting to know some one only to have to part with them later anyway. Why not save the effort and not meet new people. I don't go clubbing even though I'm 29, don't go to parties or barbeques. I find excuse after excuse not to go. I've even lied about my partners grandmother dying to get out of going to a social event. I hate absolutely HATE baby showers or mother events. I really cannot stand going or being at anything like that. Surprisingly I have a lot of people who want to and try to socially interact with me however they're met with a barrage of empty promises of joining them or just excuse after excuse as to why I couldnt come. There is a part of me that likes this disorder cause it's cool to be my own best friend. But there's a part of me that hates it to cause I'm my own worst enemy.

[@Summerlove23]

Oh my God. We sound like the same person. Lol I do all of the things you listed . I'll be 31 next month and I have no clue if I have this disorder. But this whole time I've thought I was just an introverted person with a bit of social anxiety. A few times I've tried to face my fears of public speaking in front of crowds thinking I can get over this fear of being judged or worrying about what others think of me but then my voice gets shaky. My hands shake. And I sweat profusely. The anxiety build up before doing it is even worse. It's great that you have a partner that can maybe help or encourage you get out of your comfort zone. I'm struggling with a very emotionally abusive husband. So it makes me become even more introverted and I feel at some point I'm going to become a mute and crawl Into myself. We really need to find a support group for people like us to come together. I feel your struggle. Hugs.

[@yoonglenoodle466]

I just don't know what's wrong with me. There is so much that goes on in my head that neither I nor anyone else understands. I feel isolated. Everyone else is normal, and I just want to be normal.

[@l.n.9462]

You literally just described my entire life and social problems, and I never even new this was a thing. I am so glad to finaly find something that describes what is wrong with me thank you thank you .

[@lich5462]

Just spoke my entire life 😔 What Dr. Grande says is true. I always hated people who claimed they had “social anxiety disorder” because they were always fine in situations I regarded as true anxiety inducing phobias. I can’t even look people in the eye, keep up a conversation, or have a first girlfriend. What happened overtime was my anxiety, distrust, paranoia manifested into hatred as I was then labeled as having avoidant personality disorder as well as this “antisocial personality disorder”. I can’t even go outside without feeling either absolutely terrified or incredibly emotionless. Delivering a letter to the post office: never done that. Walking down the street: no way. Driving in a car: only if the windows are tinted pitch black and I have sunglasses. Working: only as a night shift employee when everyone leaves and I’m alone (and no cameras on). It’s tough, being a misanthrope, a troglodyte, and a sufferer of apophenia is debilitating. With all the stress and I don’t expect to l

[@ivana3560]

He just described my situation so flawlessly... never thought something like that would be possible

[@kelcritcarroll]

I think everyone needs to delve back into their childhood ! I think so many of our issues are from some sort of dysfunctional home

[@vl2663]

Definitely. I’ve been doing this lately and I found out my parents are emotionally neglecting and my excessive bullying growing up fucked me up and is the reason why my Avpd is so bad now

[@jmtz7460]

Finally I understand I don't have social anxiety as I thought. I have avoidance personality disorder. I'm a very miserable person. Sometimes I have tried to put myself into very insecure social situations like being in a tour with completely unknown people, while I managed to survive and kind of enjoy that experience of 4 days, on most of the trip I felt really bad, at some point those unknown people were making fun of me. I was near to abbort the tour and go back home, but I didnt. Is that suppose to be ok? I mean yes, I did it, but I felt terrible and don't wanna have an experience like that again. It is sad because I have no friends, so if want to travel, that is my only option, travel with unkown people in tours.

[@blissfulbaboon]

Trauma and neglect.The childhood trauma leads to equating human beings with emotional pain and unlove. So the cure is love. But how does a disassociative personality find the courage to open their fragile gunshy hearts to love? They must get past their fear,somehow.

[@4coolclips]

@ blissfulbaboon I'd like to know this too. I hadn't heard of this disorder, & I'm sure I have it. trauma & neglect leaves an emotionally arrested child within. inside me is a child who has never wanted to move forward - & is still waiting for her basic parental needs to be met (unconditional love, protection, loyalty, belonging, etc) So everything in life since has grown on a faulty foundation. I agree, the cure is love, but how do you go back & infuse love into an inner child? it does almost seem like we have break everything down & start at the beginning

[@NeuroGeek85]

How? With a REALLY good therapist.

[@Corgis47]

Mental health providers in the community don't know this much. Thank you Dr. Grande for making these videos. This is very helpful. Why do mental health providers in the community don't know this stuff?

[@bloodisfreedomsstain]

True that. Therapy with psychologists helped me vent frustrations but *has never helped me realize any of this* and what really is going on. I also got meds from a neurologist and he'd check up on me and tell to get my shit together but since I didn't understand the problem, only the consequences, I didn't understand how to effectively do that. I didn't learn and nothing changed. It's so frustrating it even seems they do that on purpose to continuously be depended on.

[@Lyphe2000]

Great explanation. I've always conceptualized SAD as a preoccupation with fear associated with social settings; whereas APD is preoccupied with safety and security. Conversely, I would assume someone with SAD would come in to therapy due to social inhibition whereas someone with APD would present with a secondary issues related to social inhibition. In other words (and hypothetically) a person with SAD sees their anxiety as a problem and wants to see improvement whereas someone with APD wants to improve but may not see their avoidance as a problem (referencing your notion of lack of insight). Hard to discern. I also wanted to request that you do a video on the depressive disorders. Specifically with the lesser known depressive disorders such as seasonal affective and atypical depression. Thank you!

[@SpaceCattttt]

Personally, I know exactly what causes my anxiety. But as a realist, I understand that there's nothing I can do to improve my situation, so instead, i isolate myself from the rest of the world in order to avoid having to deal with being judged by others for my flaws and shortcomings, which are all too physically real and impossible to ignore. I've hidden away for 26 years now, so this not simply a phase. And I feel that I should point out that it is possible to suffer from APD, but also have great insight into what causes your fears. I'd say I probably have too much insight for my own good. And sometimes having a lobotomy can seem like a welcome proposition, just to find relief from it all.

[@okletstryyyy]

That's so true. I got diagnosed with AvPD the same way. I had concerns about my life not improving rather than concerns about feeling anxious by itself.

[@mickybyrne60]

I'm unsure which I have, but I'm leaning more towards Social Anxiety Disorder, but just a severe case. Even though I fit the criteria for APD, I do sometimes feel hopeful about the future, and I believe with the right help and support I could make improvements. When I was in college, I started to develop more confidence, which was then quickly snatched away once I developed my chronic illness, but that's besides the point. I once was *improving* but unfortunately got set back again. The thought that I could have APD gives me anxiety, because that means I'm stuck like this forever. So I guess I'll just stick to hoping I have SAD instead. lmao, and I can take some criticism, especially about subjective matters, just not personal attacks as they go down to the core, and I can never forget what they've said. What's worse is if I think some negative about myself, and someone confirms it.

[@Kelly-uw2kb]

As a senior psychiatry resident studying for my Royal College exam...so helpful, thank you!!!

[@pasteldreams5413]

I can make friends. I have some. I just can't make close friends. The only people who know anything sensitive about me are people who knew me before my avoidant tendencies developed. Since then, I am completely and utterly incapable of getting close to people. I want to, I try to, but eventually it reaches a wall and I become so terrified and uncomfortable that I cut off all contact. I don't even make an effort anymore. There isn't any point.

[@ethans7377]

Not to diagnose myself and be annoying but this literally explains everything ive never been able to articulate so im 99% i have this. This is rlly cool 😎

[@totalcontrol4205]

For me, I just don't have energy for people. I find the whole human race including myself petty, immature, selfish, greedy, lying, etc. Granted that there are caring people...not everyone is horrendous...I think I am on that side of the line...I hope at least. Guess what I am trying to say is maybe APD isn't a disorder, perhaps they are realists.

[@Saya_SaW]

wpuld not that just be apathy? or disinterest, meaning asocial behaviour. none of these are the cause of avpd.

[@Deafca7]

JonGuitar1 holy shit... well said.

[@suk4honesty]

People avpd have a desire to socialize but it causes them severe distress so they cannot. There are other disorders and personality disorders that would explain apathy and disinterest in socialization and relationships.

[@no_peace]

I don't like meeting new people or socializing. Mostly I want people to leave me alone. I have disorders but I don't think being solitary is one of them

[@keggerous]

I think that's something people like us just tell ourselves so we don't have to face the fact that we have issues we should probably be working out.

[@abdul2009]

After my Dad married my step mom when I was about 10 that's when it all started because that's when she started to emotionally abuse me, I'm 21 now and not so avoidant as I used to be as I'm using a book called "how to perform under pressure" to help me build my confidence and hopefully feel & be able to meet new people and connect

[@abdul2009]

what's also helped me is using my phone camera(front camera or rear camera) or a mirror and practicing some social skills(which you can find in self help books or just check out a youtube video or article) because it can reduce feelings of self-consciousness; it works regardless of level of practice.

[@susanhill149]

Wow hearing it put into diagnostic terms is amazing. I try to explain my feelings but no one seems to understand. I’ve been rejected my entire life by my family and can’t make friends or close relationships. I never had any value as a child to anyone. I struggle everyday with low self esteem and do a lot of pretending like I’m ok. My husband tries to understand and loves me so I have somebody to lean on. But of course I feel bad for him having to be married to me. Worse part is I thought it would get better as I got older but it’s harder now because I see where it came from and that the best thing for me is just to avoid everything and everybody so I don’t always get hurt or angry and disappointed. Thank God for my dogs, they are my best friends! Some days I feel like they are the only thing to live for. I pray for all of us and I remind myself I’m here for a reason and try to do something good for others whenever I can. That seems to help.

[@jessmosely6839]

How do you stop? I've known about these disorders and that I have them for years, I know why I have them and I know now on some level that I've never deserved to feel this way but how do I make it stop? I'm completely isolated and I have been all my life, I can't bare it

[@kendagammell4654]

Having Avoidant Personality Disorder as a parent is difficult.

[@Wisdomseeker5]

I was getting worst in a job with abuse co-workes and boss. Know I understand panick attacks so often. Thanks for sharing this 🙏🤟❤❤

[@lifewithavpd]

AvPD is not a more severe type of SAD. Its just not. I dont have worse anxiety than someone with SAD, I have different and deeper emotions about people that dont produce anxiety but despair, guilt, shame, worthlessness, hatred, suicidal thoughts, bitterness and the assumption of being unwanted and unloveable that cannot be reassured. In contrast to people with avpd I dont blame myself for everything, I blame everyone else cos all I did was be born and have too many traumatic experiences

[@lucaaz14]

ghost grrl do you want to talk about this? I Also am diagnosed with avpd and want to talk to someone who has it too

[@isabelnobody414]

It's a common explanation people use, though. If you research AvPD you'll find lots of sources use this comparison. I think it's because AvPD is more constant, and harder to treat? I don't know.

[@Nihilist_Porcupine]

Sounds more like quiet borderline than AvPD to me. But idk...

[@M4R3B34R]

Citation? Are you a dr? what are you basing the opinion that these disorders don't exist on?

[@humblewonder3260]

@@dissdad8744 exactly, spot on

[@halukyigit4065]

I have severe excessive blushing / facial blushing (erythrophobia) problem. And all my phobias / social anxiety / shyness etc are based on it. I don't feel like I belong to this world

[@camilla8908]

aah I relate so much! But glory to God, He's been helping me a lot

[@laxisque]

I would love to speak to you. I've never meet anyone that's suffered from this like I do. My mom tries to understand, God bless her for trying but she doesn't get it and I feel so alone in this sometimes. You wanna become blushing bros?

[@ketikatz]

I'm kinda curious. I usually get freaked out when people talk to me but it's worse around males. If a male talks to me my mind freaks out like "omg why is this guy talking to me, what does he want, what are his intentions, I need to get away right now, please stop talking to me" regardless of what they say, how, or why. My mind just jumps there. With woman I'm still scared but it's more of a "please just go away, why are you talking to me, I don't know what to say, do you think I'm weird, I must sound awkward" Is that more of social anxiety or avoidance personality?

[@DR-xg4sj]

Ketikatz you think there after only one thing maybe males I mean.

[@indigocarra2762]

Yeah, I'm the same with males talking to me. For me, I think it's because when I was growing up my mom constantly warned me about guys. She was like "don't talk to guys. You can't trust them! If a guy acts like he likes you he's probably just targeting you for human trafficking! (Yeah, my mom really said that to me)". That really warped my view of men, and I'm still in the process of trying to fix that.

[@laurenbray8314]

I do the same thing. I get more anxious around men that are straight and my age group. If they are not peers its not as bad.

[@anAngelisHard2find]

Individuals living with Autism Spectrum Disorders High Functioning and also Aspergers may in fact experience similar features of both these disorders and they appear to be associated more with the Spectrum social behaviours characteristic of autism. So interesting. Thank you Dr Grande

[@DrGrande]

You're welcome -

[@laurenbray8314]

Yes. I used to wonder if I had undiagnosed Autism or something but nope. Its just SAD/APD.

[@laurenbray8314]

Pretty sure my S.A.D turned into Avoidant Personality Disorder unfortunately. I went through a really bad cycle of social anxiety a few year's ago that was associated with my career. Lost my career because I couldn't act normal in interviews, the more interviews I'd go to the worse I'd get and feel about myself. This is what triggered the potential APD. It sucks!

[@thricemindblown7883]

You really do write the book on this stuff. You're really good at spelling it out.

[@brunobosnjak3011]

It is one hour afte New Year. Like most of people with APD, I surpress emotions usually, but now I am crying while listening this. I fucking do not know how to handle this fucnking life anymore.

[@blocked2327]

i feel like this way too, know you're not alone.

[@lucaaz14]

Bruno Bošnjak Hey do you want to talk about it? I was Also diagnoses with apd and want to talk to someone who Also has it.

[@Shadow77999]

@@lucaaz14 you got discord?

[@okletstryyyy]

Oh wow! I started crying too because I found out that I have AvPD two days ago. It's so overwhelming.

[@marcc.3513]

Thanks, this was very clear and well-put. Interesting thought that APD is an extended version of SAD, and the difference is the suspicious attitude. Question: what are some good ways to overcome the idea of unimportance in the family, as you mentioned in the end, i.e. how can someone with APD gain more self confidence and faith in others?

[@roxanakh2094]

Dr. Grande, I’ve been watching your videos for two years now. I would appreciate it if you could post something about why some individuals have a tendency to get into relationships with people who have mental health problems. Of my two exes, one had a narcissistic personality disorder, and after going out of the relationship it took me two years of therapy to finally be able to date again. I tried to choose someone exactly the opposite of my first partner and my second relationship was with an avoidant who had all the symptoms you described. I believe I must have some problems myself that I choose these people. I have been in therapy for more than three years now. The only thing I was diagnosed with was some depression and very mild autism which caused me to seem naive, simple, gullible, or too giving. I would honestly appreciate you making a video about people who have a tendency to interact with props with personality disorders. Thank you for the very informative videos you make.

[@tri99er_]

I can't approach people at all. I don't have friends. The only people that I could place closest to being friends are online. I have low self-esteem and sometimes I am feeling that the problem is outside, that it is happening because it is destined to be that way. But its when I am really bad, I am understanding, that the problem is inside my head most of the time. And I feel it is getting only worse. I once had a therapist, but she actually stopped our appointment unexpectedly and I am now in fear of getting another one. I have social anxiety, btw.

[@highafchihuahua]

I’ve avoided so many social situations I don’t even know how to book a movie ticket

[@yticivam]

Thank you for the clarification. Now I understand that I may need to go back to my doctor for an update on my mdd with anxiety initial diagnosis 2yrs ago. I used to be fine with people until after that major breakdown that prompted me to go to the doctor. But I know that since 12yrs old I've had symptoms (child abuse followed by abusive relationships with partners and workmates). I haven't been comfortable going out, I lock myself at home, I'm now entirely working from home, when it's bad, I sleep all day. I've gotten used to the dull sadness with little spikes of fear through the years, but this is just something else. Recovering is easier when your illness is easy to diagnose and when it doesn't morph or develop new tentacles every now and then!

[@justnoted2995]

Excellent analysis Dr. Grande.

[@Lunabracco]

This is my son, as soon as a friendship crosses the line into a relationship all hell bearks loose.. He was diagnosed with APD when he was around 13.. He's 27 and a complete nightmare... He's in a relationship now, and he has no trust in her, he's constantly bringing up her past, he's like a dog with a bone... Apart from this everything you said is, him to a T!!

[@steeleheroesmedia4699]

Thank you for sharing this. You are very helpful.

[@kane2906]

great video, very insightful. thank you.

[@marielaaleiramh3819]

😘 Dr. Grande is very smart, thank you so much Dr. Grande 👏👏👏

[@megabaneen8057]

Great explanation. Thanks for this video.

[@launacasey6513]

APD is the worst because you truly want to be close with others, but it's nearly impossible. You can have a few safe and trusted people - but even they might be kept at arms length. This video gave me some new info...for instance I didn't know that Social Anxiety Disorder can develop into APD over time, or that it can intensify. Curious to hear from others about what treatment modalities helped them the most: DBT, CBT, medication, or any combo of those?

[@Grantorius]

Thank you, Dr Grande, for yet another thoughtful analysis!

[@DrGrande]

Thank you for your kind words and thanks for watching -

[@claudiabotelho4921]

VERY VERY good and informative video. Thank you

[@aileengarcia8735]

Hello Dr. Grande, I'm wondering if you can cover the treatment plan of this disorder and the overall quality of life someone suffering from this could have? Also, can selective mutism be the initial symptom shown for this disorder as a child? Thank you for the wonderful insight.

[@Golgi-Gyges]

Aileen Garcia I have it and I was a selective mute in school.

[@MrCguy24]

I was diganosed with social anxiety disorder and “avoidant personality”

[@Future_Pheonix]

I'm still confused as to which one I have... I have been through several SAD treatments over the years and have been told by professionals that I had SAD and depression. No one said anything about AVPD and now I'm wondering because it seems to make a lot of sense.

[@shieldshield7385]

Oh , great . " A fine addition to my collection " ...

[@MrX-rk9or]

I have definitely changed from someone optimistic and willing to go through therapy, several times and making small to no progress, into someone almost questioning a tree's agenda when its leaves falls on my shoulder in the autumn wind. And I thought it was just my age; slowly turning into and old geezer, ha ha. Don't wanna push my laziness into some excuse here but can procrastination be a big part of life with someone with AVP? Because of the atrocious self-esteem level? What about facial recognition? I've accidently said hello/waved to ppl only to discover, moments later, they were not whom I thought they were. Sometimes I even mix ppl up, that I've seen up close several times. It's like my brain is so anxious it just skip details like eye color, nose shape, haircuts etc.

[@n4mearmy546]

I still am confused... I don't think its bcus of any past incident n i don't blame anybody for my problems... I think it started from childhood (abt 10 or12 years old) and it is not like its on and off thing like he said but consistent and i hv no reason for it,, i barely gave a thought abt the reason.. I just know i hv these problems... I feel its social anxiety... When i think abt childhood if there's any seminars or project i try to avoid it maximum cus i am afraid to death,i shiver from head to toe, tacky cardia, sweating,i try to speak but there's no voice,i'll just freeze. When i told my mom she said evrybdy's like that n I'm blowing it up. I felt may be she's right. The problem is i can't even introduce myself when someone ask me to, miss tells me to rub the board im shivering, if I'm class monitor for a week absent for a week can't across a crowd of student.. These made me think again,there's a lot more already its too lengthy ,I used to be a loner,,, I'm 19 now the only friend i hv is my sister.

[@freshlimejuice]

I keep using my avoidant and procrastination tactics to protect myself from pain; but it definitely causes more pain .

[@c.k.g.]

I have social anxiety. I often find people describing it as a fear of criticism or rejection. It always seemed very over simplified to me and I don't connect with it. Socialising makes me feel pressured, stressed and constrained, but often being criticized or rejection aren't thoughts that have registered in my mind, the anxiety seems more physical than mental. Even if I get rid of negative thoughts, which for the most part I have, the anxiety is still there and when it hits I struggle to function and relax so I can communicate normally. Socialising just becomes tiring, it gets in the way of just being myself and I end up avoiding it, intentionally or not. Any thoughts?

[@n4mearmy546]

I think i could relate,, rejection is not the reason when I think about reason there's nothing convincing. I just think why the hell I'm I like this ,,why can't I calm down.. and when this happens my brain is off I won't act properly... After all this when I go home there is nothing called peace cuz I'm replaying it again and again and I get sick of myself,, n I write it on my diary n trust me I have a heap of them. When I tell them to anybody they say it's just normal and I feel like a fool. That's why I'm writing it down. I think you would understand

[@LongformJaunt]

Your explanation of how this develops fits my case My mom didn’t even care when I saw a boy get run over and killed on my walk home (alone) from elementary school. It didn’t go much better when I told her someone tried to rape and kill me yrs later. And no I didn’t get paper spray for Xmas. “Too stupid” apparently not to get myself in trouble.

[@Entertainment-ev6ob]

I used to think that my that’s were irrational but how I truly believe people are silently judging me and it sucks

[@majasamardzic4954]

So great at explaining! Thanks so much

[@GummiGummi123]

This is an incredibly informative video, thank you so much. 1 question though; can a person have both AvPD and SAD?

[@DrGrande]

Yes, comorbid AvPD/SAD is possible.

[@campcrl]

Any suggestions on how to deal with APD?

[@MustbeTheBassest]

Is there any difference in treatment? Any chance of healing?

[@kittymachine3798]

This was very helpful, very insightful.

[@DrGrande]

Thank you -

[@seanpanigel5494]

I still don't really get it or understand if I do have AvPD. I do have and diagnosed with SAD, but it's hard to know if I have AvPD too. I was afraid and sensitive to criticism since I was a child, even way before I developed SAD and a fear of social situations. and I'm not necessarily sure I understood what Dr. Grande meant by lack of insight, but as to the examples he gave, he mentioned that people with SAD don't think about the motives to the behaviors of other people. I do think about it. I think about it all the time. I think about why they acted the way they have, and constantly question them when they appear to be doing something nice, as to "there's another reason he's doing it. he doesn't truly care about me". I do have a persistent pattern of low self esteem, and intense feelings of self criticism(most notably in the past year). I don't know if that tracks for AvPD too. I still can't seem to get it.

[@antartatina]

The worse thing when someone says why you so quiet. Your awful quiet. You don't speak much, you need to speak more.

[@juliehearn2988]

I was diagnosed with social anxiety and body dysmorphia in my 20's . I'm 52 now and it's so bad I can't work socialize or date and beginning to think I could have APD

[@jerkinsloggima9006]

Wow I was just diagnosed with this today and After this video I feel like there is no hope. 😕

[@oliviav.3565]

You can get a little better but it will always be there, it's a fucking part of you.

[@markbrown7903]

I think i had AVPD but i have been diagnosed with agitated depression, depersonalation, anxiety, panic disorder, but i feel inferior to everyone, its hard for drs to tell the difference. I dont think many UK doctors know about AVPD A

[@flamics]

I believe I have this disorder. While I’m not sure of it can go away or decrease over years, I have noticed that I was a lot worse in Elementary and middle school. I was picked on a lot in elementary school by my classmates and even this teacher, and I was picked on badly in middle school. I know that disorders can be caused by social stimuli, so I’m wondering if it can disappear to an extent eventually. So I believe I have it but it has gotten better with time. I don’t know exactly how it works, but I fit the characteristics so far

[@cainamdead]

I miss these types of videos from Dr Grande. Enough of the celebrity bs. We need legitimate education.

[@reemeroma2156]

I always figured I had one of these. Something that happens is I don't want to share a seat in public. If anyone tries to sit near me, I will sit on the floor away from everyone because it gives me temporary peace of mind. I am very slowly getting myself out of the cracks that the education system let me slip into (they don't try to understand us troubled kids. I had to be dealt with like I was the next big terrorist) and I hope to be properly diagnosed soon. My family chose not to support me emotionally. I felt alone for so long and now I'm almost 30, still living a nearly hikikomori lifestyle.

[@whitesarah2000]

Great differentiation thank you

[@rainers.2080]

I hope this won't cause you to have a panic attack, but you misspelled "difference."

[@DrGrande]

I don't know how I missed that for all this time - thank you so much for pointing that out!

[@stevenmaryasin9700]

Is abnormalities in amygdala or other parts of the Brain connected to having avoidant personality disorder?

[@eternalreality4346]

Thank you so much Sir ❤🙏

[@poughkeepsieblue]

I started watching this channel because I have a fear of male mental health doctors, and I'm sexually attracted to female ones. Getting treatment is excessively difficult for me. Plus Doc Grande and me wear the same glasses.

[@TheSplashchannel1]

Can you have both disorders at the same time?

[@DrGrande]

Technically, these disorders can be comorbid, but it is a bit of a controversial issue in the research literature.

[@majidalavi3368]

Its not the full picture, The avoidant personality doesn't necessarily live in pain. Its more of desire to be faded in the background like Assassins. Its the conscious effort to make little to no impact not because of shame but because of lack of interest. The misconceptions come from desire to be alone but its more for the struggle to find the appropriate response to others that for a normal person comes naturally.

[@kittendoe7988]

maybe u r talking about just being introverted

[@jamesnye6296]

always have hidden away from things that scare me,i hate being judged and negative criticism which makes me panic,guess ive just got no time for small talk or drama.but after a few drinks i can be the soul of the party,very strange

[@opalskycanvas]

I get panic attacks but it's kind of sporadic and it's after my feelings of anxiety and inferiority and depression have piled up over time. It's not often triggered by particular events.

[@Shaan736]

can not being attractive & not having resources play a huge part in being avoidant????? please i need to know cause i want to get help but i have no friends, couldnt trust them & they werent really my friends after all, family is kinda untrustworthy bc they belittle me to the extent i cant defend myself but i honestly cant get a friend/ supportive boyfriend if my life depended on it lol, no transportation, no money, hell i cant even get a job thats too far so it would have to be walking distance suitable , can someone please help??

[@SteleCat]

I wish I could.

[@samanthaspurgeon2864]

This social anxiety or avoidance personality whichever I got was passed down from both sides of my family. moms and dads side. This disorder, its to the extreme..for me.

[@M4R3B34R]

Aaaaaand you just described me word for word oh joy

[@dogschosenpeople]

Thank you Dr. Grande.

[@DrGrande]

You're welcome!

[@candyqueentopia2573]

I got my new elective and I was in there with a bunch of girls and stuff but the only two girls I trusted hung out with the other girls so I was so scared they wouldn't accept me I didn't even say hi to my friends infact I just stood there and never left my seat

[@RollenJokers]

i have a lot of emotion coping difficulties when people get rid of coping and force interaction. i've herd that to have a bias is only to make a judgment in bias while an opinion is different and told that i generally don't have an opinion. i'm relentless to try and explain. i know i have an opinion yes. but when can i get the Quiet that works for me. when i confront people they act like i'm not confronting them. when i say that i mean both verbally try and talk out the problem but end up looking at manipulation as a distortion its self, whether i'm distorted over the fact i avoid and have sleep stress or am brought back to extremely stressful events, even having them manufactured and ridiculed while it causes behavioral stress that just isnt clear to other people and will be a persons trigger in the whole reason they are dont speak them then find out something that ive already tried to talk to them about. I just cant see myself meeting the compromise to have the life where i can feel like i can be comfortable with out something blinking out of existence. If i cant feel the therapeutic element for communication that stop me from being afraid of the ground and getting Headspace them how can i say in my male health that i am.. someone.. i guess

[@tombrown1898]

What do you call avoidance of only one particular type of situation, namely sex?

[@thzzzt]

What if you avoid people because you generally find them boring?

[@SimonB.]

you are just a loner

[@karenedonald]

thzzzt Asperger ? I find people boring

[@MsPoliteRants]

Now I have more questions. I thought maybe I could have AVPD just based on the name. But I never have panic attacks. I don't really have a fear of criticism. I just don't know how to make friends and I don't like most people. Maybe I spend too much time online looking at current events but I'm more afraid of confrontation than criticism. Because i lean right of center politically, I'm too afraid to meet new people because I'm under the impression most people hate conservatives. I also hate crowds. I hate small talk. But at the same time I'm lonely. So it's a no win. But this description of AVPD is not me. I was coddled as a child. Sure my parents divorced but I wasn't really abused, and my mother told me how "wonderful" she thought I was all the time as a child. I definitely wasn't neglected. Guess I should see a professional for a diagnosis.

[@pascalbrunisholz6382]

Hey i have a avoidant personality disorder. It was diagnosed with a somatization disorder. What else can you recommend to me? I have tried everything possible even therapy and medication since 2013. Now i started to meditate but I can not get out of the vicious circle. The somatization disorder is too omnipresent:-(

[@FewFew77]

Can you do a video on Avoidant vs Schizotypal? Both disorders seem to be suspicious of others. Is Avoidant just Schizotypal without all the weird beliefs?

[@steve_x9582]

I personally believe schizotypal=schizoid+weird beliefs whereas avoidant is a whole different issue. Schizoids are indifferent to both praise and criticism, whereas avoidants are hypersensitive to criticism. I find that AvPD, Szpd, Stpd and aspergers overlap a lot with social anxiety. I myself have aspergers+schizoid and I DON'T fear social interactions. I'm simply indifferent to social norms and expectations. I only seem "nervous" when the conversation moves outside one of my "special interests". Those with social anxiety and avpd cares TOO MUCH about how they are perceived and schizoids/schizotypals couldn't care less.

[@TheBestTravelChannel]

@@steve_x9582 Yeah, Schizotypal and Avoidant are both on different personality disorder 'clusters'. You're right, the overlap between AVPD, SAD and conditions of the Autistic Spectrum is really quite something.

[@mayargreenish8614]

Thanks that was helpful 😊

[@andrewmass1414]

I think the woman I live has Avoidant PD. What can I do?