Tom Segura Visited a Gloryhole and Lived to Tell the Story | Netflix Is A Joke

[@abdousalem3079]

I died at ''you see any other cars in the parking lot junior?''.

[@joaquinbartsch4325]

i did not understand that one :(

[@TheMaxORyan]

@@joaquinbartsch4325 It means that there was only both of there cars in the lot, so no one but them was in the building (ie: he would be on the other side sucking the d)

@@joaquinbartsch4325 keep on it...you can do it...

[@joaquinbartsch4325]

@@TheMaxORyan thanks!

[@joaquinbartsch4325]

@ i find out thank you

[@chadwertz9648]

“She’s got a rough chin on her.” Lol. This Japanese comedian always has me rolling on the floor.

[@olliefoxx7165]

Japanese?

[@tavianroberts4423]

@@olliefoxx7165 SEGUURAAAAAAAA

[@olliefoxx7165]

@@tavianroberts4423 🤣🤣🤣

[@vistalover9607]

I love Japanese comedians and this is no exception

[@georgeharrod7805]

Way undervalued comment

[@Martiizzer]

This guys delivery is ON POINT. Every time.

[@rome-tk5vd]

so underrated

[@OkieSavage91]

I know this is technically “live” because it’s a Netflix special. However, actually seeing him live in person, makes his Netflix specials look like grade school stuff. He flat-out kills live.

[@MuerteSigiliosa]

That's because he is ripping off Patton Oswald's delivery If you don't believe me listen to Patton's old stuff

[@flipgroove]

Pp

[@sLw1337]

Wow so cool dude!

[@thesphider8298]

The international uniform for the last guy you'll ever see.

[@lorenzocobos9934]

For real

[@adeptusmechanicus1029]

Gold.

[@dandabear118]

Lol

[@wadewilson6722]

Cool comment

[@gianesbaby-blues7383]

Classic!!

[@akalawada]

His timing, his delivery, his tone. It’s all so perfect. This is a very honed in set. Love it.

[@JohnPaton3]

Even when he's not speaking, his facial gestures are hilarious.

[@johnnymcblaze]

Actually, I'm guessing it just comes natural to him. We can recognize our own.

[@christostine3069]

He always is on point!

[@NotTheHeroStudios]

Dude he really is top notch

[@CamJames]

@@johnnymcblaze it comes naturally to nobody. comedy is a honed performance, especially when it seems effortless. he's 1000+ sets in at this point.

[@Canonicallycreative]

I love how he totally brushes past the fact that the woman in his story was absolutely trying to hook up with him lol

[@董家琪]

That's what I thought lol Tom totally cockblocked himself there.

[@EmazingGuitar]

You don’t want to hook up with girls like that 😂 the easy ones are the super spreaders 😂💀

[@chrisdraco1973]

@@EmazingGuitar I need this on a shirt

[@lynxaway]

Love how you didn’t consider he could have easily made up that part? Lol

[@jayyyjude]

@@董家琪 Or ya know the fact he is married

[@dudemanproductions4529]

“For the love of the game” 😂😂 I’m dying!

[@sableyez]

Haha best line

[@aedanmarcus3253]

I think Tom and Bert Kreischer both use that line

[@hoagielamp6543]

@@aedanmarcus3253 Except Bert's delivery is dogshit compared to Tom.

[@Ironmurs]

I’m late to the party...said the same fuckin thing! Lololol!

[@robertworsley1293]

"She's got a rough chin on her for sure" 🤣🤣 f*cking dead.

[@joshuahorwitz6458]

Tom, for my mind, is probably the best storyteller in comedy. He keeps you right there in the moment and the payoffs are always great, but it’s his little throwaway jokes like “Mr. Fuck Dynasty over here” that really put him into a different class. Never stop Mr Segura. Please.

[@jexanrp8642]

Hot take but he's definitely up there. I'd put Joey up there first then Tom right behind him.

[@nolangelser5534]

Uncle joey

[@ScottWaa]

@@jexanrp8642 Joey Diaz is my favorite storyteller. Tom is always telling a great personal angry story with no malace... (but always a great guy to back you) . Diaz is almost a Ted talk. Bert is a hilarious story teller. They have a great circle of friends... Rogan Bill Burt, Joe Rogan, etc.

[@RavensTalkPodcast]

Dave Chapelle says hi. But Tom is right there

[@ArtyShat]

I find Louis CK is way a head as a comedy storyteller

[@jamievee8375]

4:43 “Piss fetish? I don’t wanna waste it” That’s such a lovely thing to hear when eating soup 😖

[@Nonessentialsquid]

Oh no

[@garagedays2988]

Yummy

[@dissonantiacognitiva7438]

So this chick was actually Chris D'elia according to the impression

[@imansmith817]

This is my favorite comment ever lmao

[@sarakavandi2107]

Hahahahahaha hahahahaha 😂😂

[@brandonisthetrivium1]

I was thinking Jason Mantzoukas lol

[@patpatpatpatsquire]

Holy shit lol lol

[@TheRAGE154]

He must of thought tom was underage

[@kingmir5]

“Show me what you have, I don’t wanna be closed minded “😂

[@ryhol5417]

If you didn’t pay a noticeable amount of money, it’s not a female on the other side

[@Meatcity-sf8fm]

Ry Hol so you need to pay a larger amount of money . I never knew that. You sir are a man of the world

[@MOUNTA1N]

hahahaha. I see what you're trying to do. you're not tricking me!

[@bullzai018]

@@MOUNTA1N Aw bless your heart lol

[@whitak3r]

Just pretend it's a girl. You can't see...Hopefully the mustache doesn't brush the shaft.

[@CountDoucheula]

A mouth's a mouth...

[@F3PIZZA]

The girl in this story is Lumpy Space Princess

[@Brian-yz8dj]

This comment is absolute gold!

[@Pedakin]

Nice.

[@JabrielMcIntosh]

Underrated!!! lmao

[@Krondelo]

🤣 "I'm looking for a man"

[@philyamascunt7518]

I always think of Triggly Puff when guys are telling crazy fuck stories

[@attattatt]

"Well, I don't know either". I spit my drink out.

[@GoodnightMoon666]

Shoulda swallowed

[@RareVideosByJavierVargasTV]

Picture the man in the overalls as *Louis CK...*

[@fnfn9199]

And ginger

[@lupo3694]

@@fnfn9199 Loius CK is a ginger

[@modiabcomedy]

When he said overalls I pictured squirrelly Dan from letterkenny

[@lupo3694]

@Turd Furgeson bc he looks like a prev and also is one? I mean he does like to jerk of in front of people.

[@grumpyboomer61]

Well, I am now. So, thanks for that. 😳

[@Meatcity-sf8fm]

I’ve never heard a comedian hit this subject before . Props to him for going there.

[@thatf_inguy8220]

louis ck did a similar bit "You are a tourist in sexual perversion; I am a prisoner"

[@Meatcity-sf8fm]

I see

[@Tommyoda]

the story 💯🤣

[@quainejohnson4808]

Mike bribiglia has a similar bit: "I ask her, have you ever masturbated while driving a car?"

[@Robespierre-lI]

Oh so brave! Dude, this subject matter has been standard drag queen humor since the 70s. His approach is funny as hell but ... There's a whole world of sex comedy out there you don't know about, clearly.

[@staticmonkey8436]

That “what-the-fuck” at 4:56 had me DYING laughing!

[@unintentionally_edgy5867]

“Mom said not to forget” the voice crack sells it

[@cdv130]

Tom Segura is like a guilt-free Louis CK

[@user-sl1tg3eb9q]

minus the talent

[@ClutchClick]

@@user-sl1tg3eb9q if you don't think he's talented why the fuck are you on his video bruh

[@earthwormsim8068]

@@ClutchClick Tom segura is good, but I don't think his content is as funny as Louis'

[@ClutchClick]

@@earthwormsim8068 That's a reasonable opinion, but the other dude said "minus the talent" which is a load of shite. Cheers anyway

[@Gvaz]

you know you can like Louis ck with zero guilt hth

[@krisrose1518]

When he laughs at the with, “Ok, sure.” That caused another outburst of laughter. Couldn’t hold it back and I was already laughing beforehand

[@lostlothbrok7156]

Tom has gotten so much better with his performances, I love how he sets up his jokes

[@aidanc9838]

This dude in the cement building sounds like Harvey Keitel’s character from Taxi Driver but working in the pawn shop from Pulp Fiction

[@meadster308]

I was thinking the rapist in Deliverance.

[@robertfan332]

I was gonna say he sounds like the dude working the pumps at the gas station down my street but is actually employed at the the gas station across the street from that one.

[@mikitz]

Just to add the lust scene in Seven....

[@walmartshoppingcart2163]

“PISS FETISH?”

[@karleymurphy]

"Got a full bladder, don't wanna waste it."

[@paulzammataro7185]

@@karleymurphy 😆

[@waveunleashed9585]

@@karleymurphy please don’t

[@elnesto408]

Dammit... My wife, I love her, does that exact absurdly stupid laugh. Says she's nervous. Still gonna keep her.

[@samanthahydeker7914]

I think there's two types of that laugh, the obnoxious valley girl, and the shy one.

[@lowkeylokii4205]

ol but is she horby the way guys are

[@DayleDiamond]

Imagine hearing that laugh from the other side of a wall.

[@ts4595]

What a well-spoken comedian, didn't notice him saying "um" a single time!

[@stayingloyaltonaymencke606]

Hes very good yea

[@tvojslauf]

T S he says um in the first two seconds

[@ts4595]

@@tvojslauf Haha, right you are!

[@sabertoothwallaby2937]

Good point

[@energeez]

@@ts4595 i think he says um on purpose though, not like a filler for thought like most people.

[@andressepulveda2760]

This guy is too funny

[@xamphor]

I think he's the right amount of funny

[@kendrick7385]

Justin K i like 2 bears 1 cave but I don’t like YMH

[@dtbgunn3r]

@@kendrick7385 give it a chance bits really an episode basis tbh. Same with 2 beats

[@dtbgunn3r]

Bears

[@crosstolerance]

"I don't know, you fucking guess what's in here." Classic line!

[@TheYellowTuxedo]

I love you Tom. Not in a gay way but a gay way you know

[@MrKwabenajames]

🤣🤣🤣

[@pointdext4118]

dude, of course. like I wont kiss him but like I'll kiss him

[@deeznutz9998]

that's gay.

[@XboxNinjaGamer360]

@@deeznutz9998 Grow the fuck up kid, I know 5 yr old little girls with more maturity than you.

[@scurus11scurus]

Richard Harding sure, from a dude named Dick Hard-ing talking’ to deez nutz 🙄

[@SupremeLeader42]

"Cement-block building with no sign or address." He just described Giuliani's Four Seasons press conference. 😂

[@TacticalDimples]

Nice bringing politics into something that’s not political 👍

[@whodoobucrew2960]

@@TacticalDimples its always funny to make fun of Rudy. Remember when he started touching himself in front of (what he thought) was a minor?

[@tesmith47]

@@TacticalDimples not political, fact. Look at the picture

[@weirdmikeisgone]

I feel like he's one of the few people in this world I could have a regular conversation about sexual situations.

[@tastybritches6644]

Most of society is sexuality repressed and/or don't fully comprehend their own sexuality. I enjoy talking about sexuality and sexual hygiene just as long as you can be adult about it.

[@robertfan332]

Ye but segura is creepy AF. On stage hes good but in person... A chick came up to him and said she's horny and he got into debate with her about the quantity of horniness a woman can have.

[@EikottXD]

@@robertfan332 Not figuring how that is creepy. He just wanted to prove her wrong with a true story.

[@robertfan332]

@@EikottXD im saying Segura is a creepy dude. Seeing him laugh over and over just as hard everytime while watching a video of a guy getting seriously injured in a parachuting accident breaking both legs feels like a put on. It wouldn't be as funny even for creepy Tom by the 5th time around.

[@tastybritches6644]

@Globglogabgolab 2.0 you know it, babe.

[@MarekJakab]

This guy could tell a story about filling up a tax form and it would be hilarious :D

[@seanwebb605]

I don't even drink and I sort of want to know the address.

[@bobbiusshadow6985]

Glory holes are glorious.

[@luisalfredo297]

😂😂😂😂 bruhhh!!!!!

[@JustinGalindoRealtor]

Lolol hahaha

[@spg1794]

first building you see on any interstate exit is either a Cracker Barrel or a place like that...um... a friend told me

[@seanwebb605]

@@spg1794 I'm Canadian. The land border crossings are closed. Does your friend no of such a place anywhere between Toronto and Niagara Falls? Asking for another friend.

[@gabrieladerre2862]

"Hey sir, how's the stock market today?" That's the line that I'm going to open up with, the next time that I'm on Grindr, and some guy that's older than my dad messages me to ask if I'm DTF?

[@tannershumway6719]

I’m stealing this idea

[@gabrieladerre2862]

@@tannershumway6719 Go for it! I don't dislike older guys, but it's never the hot ones that try it! It's the guys that leave me absolutely astonished at their level of confidence, bravado! I'm not mean, I'll have a friendly chat with nearly anyone, but good Lord! 😂😂😂

[@vespaman101]

@@gabrieladerre2862 idk if itd confidence or just not giving a fuck. I get the most absurd ass pics sent to me. Guys with man gravy on their lips. The horrors

[@notnickDPT]

@@gabrieladerre2862 hahaahha howd it go😂

[@TheOpinionsOfMrJones]

Or reply with, “PISS FETISH?!” 😆

[@jonathanserrano825]

I like how the jokes go full circle, like this joke will set up this joke

[@missangela1984]

Lmfao "41 Jump Street" 🤣🤣

[@jackiechan_wtf4041]

Coming out, Summer 2021 😅😅

[@seantyrone7976]

“Universal uniform for the last guy you’ll ever see” 😂

[@richardnemeth5911]

"hello sir, how is the stock market today?" Instant classic, I was wrecked from laughter!

[@Jl2damax]

Lmfao I blew so many straight dudes in college, that “ok sure” at the end had me DEAD 💀

[@BrodyT6464]

The accuracy

[@MemerCat0]

bro.....

[@wfcoaker1398]

They've all got faceless Grindr profiles now and call themselves "discrete". Lol

[@tesmith47]

Still available??? Please!

[@rahuldahoob4513]

@@wfcoaker1398 😂😉😈

[@jones9309]

"She's got a rough chin on her for sure." 😂

[@taintedgaming8750]

Tom is such a good comedian, such good timing.

[@vinceroady7918]

Absolute master of the storytelling joke. Layers of jokes leading back around to that original premise of "horny like guys are" and then the finisher. The thing is its believable. I'd buy that story.

[@Robespierre-lI]

There are details that i certainly don't believe. But I'm not telling you how i know he's embellishing

[@nickbrown3790]

You see any other cars in the parking lot junior ?

[@lilrara1291]

Can u explain wat that means to my dumbass

[@skiepk]

@@lilrara1291 No other cars in the parking lot = Mr. No Shirt Under Overalls guy being the only being on the premises who could be on the other side of that gloryhole.

[@joaquinbartsch4325]

@@skiepk oh thanks, the guy will do it...

[@justincoleman3805]

How do you not get it? You have a working brain, right?

[@lilrara1291]

skiepk I’m slow asl,thanks lmfao

[@stxe83]

This segment will never not be funny in my eyes. F**king hilarious

[@williealexander6178]

That’s one of the funniest stories I’ve ever heard, it’s up there with Bert’s ‘The Machine’ Russia story thank you Tom, seriously underrated, borderline criminally underrated comedian. Keep it up sir!!!!

[@jairogarcia867]

The machine is so over rated

[@dominikrode8184]

the machine story is literally his only joke

[@JorgeGeorgeD]

I'm sad I never checked Tom's specials, I love his delivery.

[@AndrewFunnyMan]

They’re all worth it. Love reading all the people in these comments just discovering him. The wormhole goes deep, my friends; you won’t regret it

[@MrOafer3797]

Watch all of his specials on Netflix ...he’s the GOAT

[@zeaferjones1404]

@@AndrewFunnyMan I've seen him a bunch but this is the first time I've seen him during stand up. He's sort of the opposite of Joey Diaz. Joey Diaz is hilarious in a conversation or interview but his stand up is pretty good. Tom Segura seems like a nice dude in conversation but his stand up is way funnier.

[@Vitaliuz]

Same here. Discovered him couple days ago. Heard of him long ago, but never watched the videos. Better late than never, I guess.

[@abelhurtado4640]

"Well the story takes place in 1997" his face man lmao

[@evanarcher7083]

LOLOLOLOL!! “You see any other cars in that parking lot??”

[@bluntdude]

I dont know if everyone is appreciating the perfect joke story telling here. the joke starts somewhere and ends up somewhere else and then goes back! genius!

[@theemissary1313]

I've had a shit week and felt really down, but this has fixed all that. Thank you, Tom Segura :)

[@bigd8924]

"My man would never do that..." Then you don't know your man lol

[@franciscelardo4739]

"for the love of the game" might be my favorite description

[@RagnarLoudpak]

“Fuck Dynasty” took me out lmao

[@coreyjma]

Saw him live in Seattle as a surprise opener for his wife in 2016. He ANNIHILATED. Legend in the making for sure!

[@williambutcher7429]

“My man would never do that!” “Okay, sure.” That’s the best quote I’ve ever heard

[@SentryN77]

You're such a good story teller, "Seguraaaaaa!" Lmfao

[@sentientdogma1206]

“F*ck Dynasty” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@TheShapingSickness]

"you see any cars parked outside, Jr?" 😂😂😂

[@ActiveServo12]

You see any other cars in that parking lot jr.? 💀

[@ANTlVISION]

I still dont get that line :(

[@JoeUrbanYYC]

​@@ANTlVISIONthe only person who's going to be sucking on the other side of that hole is the store owner.

[@SaraBai85]

"It was alarming to other students..." 😂😂😂😂 I ❤ him.

[@VanguardofCalamity]

7:11 ~ 'She's Got a Rough Chin on Her' XD

[@SH-lt2iv]

😆🤣

[@thedon3346]

"You're a nark thats what you are" ahhahaha

[@malenkas3]

I mean, it could still be a girl, right? She could've taken a bus.

[@ilovemikerogers]

I admire your imagination.

[@MrSidney9]

Lol sure whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night

[@Jacksynth]

Way to prove his point 😂

[@lionnelmurimi651]

This is what i kept telling myself until i read the comments section. I didnt want to believe it. XD

[@OpEditorial]

Tom Segura is basically Louis C.K. without the criminal record 🤣

[@mohammadmoravej2914]

segura's funny , when I watch him I smile, but when I watch ck I laugh till my stomach hurts! and through the day I keep remembering his jokes and laugh again, I laughed a week over his jizzanthepus bit...

[@BreakingBatman187]

Louis doesn't have a criminal record. Sexual misconduct is more of an HR issue than a legal one. Deciding to spank it in your hotel room in front of adult guests can be creepy and get you shunned by society, but as long they're of age, you're not assaulting them or holding them against their will, it's not a criminal act.

[@IvanaGiznya]

TyetheRebel if the guests were invited by you and then you ask them if you can jerk off in front of them and they reluctantly say yes then it is not a criminal act.

[@IvanaGiznya]

TyetheRebel we were talking about what Louie did. You said what he did was a criminal act, I pointed out that he asked them before he did it. He didn’t just start jerking off in front of them without asking first.

[@BreakingBatman187]

@TyetheRebel I guess I can check a record of the criminal charges presented when the police arrested him. Oh wait, he wasn't arrested? Wait, he's not in jail with Bill Cosby? He's out doing gigs? Well, this is very peculiar.

[@firebrand9578]

“Hello, sir. How’s the stock market today?” 😅

[@AaaaghJOE]

He's nailed his "'okay, sure" laugh. its perfect

[@Sam-pv1hz]

"For the love of the game" that one gets me good lol

[@papabird4425]

Tom Segura is quickly becoming one of my favorite still performing comedians.

[@ryukastle1047]

"The last guy you'll ever see" I cant fucking breathe

[@Matthew-vw6gy]

“For the love of the game” has me weak

[@grahamfloyd3451]

For being a 41 year old man the past 23 years, this guy hasn't met many girls.

[@miyu719]

They may have been more closed minded back then, sex isn't as taboo a topic any more. 🤷

[@worthy7834]

" lemme tell you a story" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Then later he says, " show me around" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@triixstiir]

I’ve seen Tom on the Joe Rogan podcasts but I haven’t watched his stand up until now. I wish I had sooner.🤣

[@cambeul]

you should see his and his wife's podcast too

[@TakaComics]

The face at 5:40 never fails to get me

[@djackson1374]

Soooo does anyone know the address to that building...for research purposes

[@dcool2u2]

or asking for a friend 😂

[@nobeuno3835]

@TyetheRebel it was tbh you are just daft

[@jamesmorris8721]

@TyetheRebel what are you? The fucking KZbin comments joke police? You're like the Karen of this thread.

[@nobeuno3835]

@@batifishreyes4198 how do you know that??

[@batifishreyes4198]

Jellybean Nunchucks I know of a piggy that gives the best BJ but don’t have the address yet

[@allenlivera1611]

How is I'm just learning about this guy? Very funny.

[@cierra1347]

Why have I not ever given this man the time of day I’m dying laughing over here. 😂

[@kissaguitar]

This gentleman has helped me in so many ways, just by being a funny, honest and a real man.

[@jaywjr2456]

His delivery, subject matter, the way he carries himself onstage. Segura is a fucking comedy Rockstar. Legendary status.

[@florianpico3628]

3:37 I'm dying AHHH

[@pochuyma9530]

That is by far one of the raunchiest jokes I have ever heard. Tom Segura is one of the most secure comedians around to tell it.

[@shottytoobusy]

4:02 best part of the whole special

[@marlboroman6370]

Theres a place right next to where I work like this. You'll never see a car out front. The back is always full lol.

[@YoureTerminatedFckr]

"and then you *BAHP BAHP BAHP BAHP* polish it off for the love of the game?!"

[@joanneweiss3864]

My favorite comic now, he's perfection, I laughed so loud so many times, I snorted my wine then dropped the glass😂😂

[@Tom-jq8kf]

I freaking love this guy! My new favorite comedian!

[@Brosky1998]

Makeup ON POINT. You go gurl!

[@magnetsoldiercephas331]

I have a friend who looks, acts, and even talks like Tom. It’s uncanny and awesome. Tom is great live. Especially in a small setting.

[@chrisnoah6186]

"The story takes place in 1997"...lmao i love it

[@leeks1408]

“Mr. Fuck Dynasty.” 🤣🤣🤣

[@thecoach11]

Gained a fan absolutely hilarious 😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

[@dito4lyfe]

Look up some more of Toms stuff. Also he’s done a few podcasts. The most recent with Joe is a great way to see Tom as a human.

[@strangelalansbury5028]

I love how, even if you've watched this 3 or 4 times, you still forget the catalyst for the story

[@beth-annrock237]

I absolutely love Tom Segura!! He is one of my favorite comedians!!! Could watch his stand up all day!!!

[@AndrewDurst-v3p]

“Mom said not to forget, hahahahah” makes me piss myself every time

[@N0B0DYC4RE]

He need to be more famous idk why some people sleep on this dude

[@jtdarelli1871]

It's cause he hangs out with guys like Joe Rogan and Bert Kreisher. I love both those guys, and even tune in to their podcasts, but I think their stand up is fucking abysmal. I avoided Tom Segura like the plague for the last two years because I just assumed his stand up was similar to theirs. Only figured out how different he was just recently.

[@justincoleman3805]

What do you mean by more famous? I don’t know anyone who isn’t a fan.

[@bananasandnuts132]

@@justincoleman3805 hes pretty well known in the comic world but mainstream wise i feel hes a bit slept on. Hes way better than rogan and even kriesher. Like he knows what hes doing and is perfecting it. Rogan is so bland he has nothing special or any unique insights which most great comics have.

[@gvrpresentsbearwilliams]

I love Tom Segura's comedy 🎭 such a genuine talent!!!

[@IntrinsicNRJ]

Praying for this man's speedy recovery and that I never get dunked on by him when he becomes harder, better, faster, stronger

[@bradmuehlenbein]

“WHAT. THE. FUCK.” 🤣🤣🤣

[@tartarsauce5250]

The funniest thing about this video is watching him pretend he didn't go there just for the glory hole. Lol Like, lo and behold look what I have found...

[@OurNewestMember]

1:05 "...good!" 😂