A Grown-Boys #1 Fear!

[@Katrica670]

"Every grown boy is afraid of a woman with a vision, boundaries and standards!"

[@hapshabyahyisrael9810]

A man respects a woman who will not be used, who won't compromise, whe demands respect, who holds fast to her standards, who can walk awake with her morals intact no matter the age.

[@BlessedJ08]

I just wanted to say THANK YOU for what you do. I've been listening to you for 6 yrs. I've applied the tools you gave me, you helped me be successful in my absence journey, and now I'm married. I got married last month. 🎉 Thank you!!!

[@donnajeffreys8252]

Congratulations God Bless your union 💍 💕

[@sajordan]

To God Be The Glory!!! Congratulations Sis ❤🎉

[@MichelleThomas-th2kf]

Congratulations!!!!

[@ashleyrolle2214]

Congratulations!!😊

[@SarahAutmon-ej1rk]

Congrats 🎉

[@GoldSteeze]

“You should not be overly reactive to situations” 🔥 Amen! Having emotional intelligence and keeping my peace has been a game changer in my life

[@naturalhelpingproducts4784]

Thanks Sister.

[@bronz7053]

Amen

[@Random_koopa]

I'm still learning this, why is it so hard 😢. I try the breathing techniques or walking away.

[@Ms.Jamieh297]

@@Random_koopa Fasting prayer and reading the Holy word alone with TMHYAH for your deliverance 🛐🙏🏾💓

[@ebonyeyes6129]

@@GoldSteeze this is the hardest part for me. I'm working on it❤️

[@Katrica670]

"Are you gonna just lay down there in fear and let him walk all over you like a doormat, or are you gonna stand on your needs speak up on what you need,deserve and see if he's man enough to grow?"

[@bjos6596]

“The PPP fraud I want me some of that.” 😂😂😂 So real!!!

[@simplydee11]

Man. It sucks to look nice, cook, clean, work, not have social media, never say no to sex, and still not get what you deserve. I married you and to and to someone older. Been with one man since 19 and it just doesnt matter. Im not aggressive, dont curse, considered attractive and it really never matters. I truly give up with relationships. They were created for men. It breaks women down. Every woman i know looked better and grew when they left their relationships.

[@emcgill9574]

When my ex said he was done with the relationship, I asked him why? He said, “ If a person don’t love you the way you want them to love then it’s a problem.” It is a problem if you tell them what your love language is more than once and he doesn’t want to do it. Then that’s not a you problem. That’s a his problem! You’re not ready for a relationship sir! You’re only looking for your needs. A grown boy is looking to be served, a grown man is to be of service! Know your worth Ladies!

[@TheShaniVerse]

Whew chy, Men are so damn trivial and difficult. Who the hell has the energy to play these games. Whooooo?

[@Elle-ff5hc]

Girl!!!!!

[@ashtonpatrice6137]

Not I!

[@queenkeesh8660]

Right I’m tired grown boys

[@Missybella92227]

And they say we play games and are drama. These grown boys are in denial and aren’t trying to mature and seek self improvement.

[@yolandashaw2940]

😂😂😂😂 I no right

[@KDC0391]

“When you take shortcuts, you get cut short” whew ! That’s a whole word.

[@butterscotch2086]

6:03 It’s sad that so many men are basically waiting for women to lead. I think a man should already want to grow and be making progress, the woman is just there to help along the way and vice versa. We don’t want to be mama to a grown boy.

[@Junegermaine]

Factual!!! I cannot raise him, lead him, teach him how to love me and submit to him!!

[@ilaray4513]

Let me tell you, Tony, I am listening! Don't get weary. Your message is getting through! ❤

[@Lovelife2022-j6w]

Sure is! Thank you Mr. Gaskins! 🤝🏾❤

[@relisbetrel]

Amen!

[@TDJ8329]

Amen 🙏🏾 💕

[@nicolebrooks2876]

I absolutely agree.

[@Danielleanderson428]

Amen !

[@hapshabyahyisrael9810]

That's what i learned. Just a conversation looking him straight in his eyes with no yelling, cursing, hate. Wish him well. Walk out with a smile on your face with your character intact with peace of mind.

[@TwilaB0721]

Met a very handsome man at the gym. We went to a coffee shop for a date. I smelled his breath across the table. He wanted a kiss, I gave him hints, he finally caught the hint; instead of taking my advice he got mad and never called me again. Oh well, I don't want a man with bad breath, nasty looking teeth, tongue, gums, or poor body hygiene. Right, we are all a projects, but I personally don't want to deal with too many issues. I have 3 adult daughters, I chose not to raise a grown boy.

[@staciadavis3714]

That is a dang gone shame!!!

[@my2bears]

I noticed a lot of decent looking men have bad breath!!! I tried to hint this to a guy and he didn’t get it! Uggg just brush your teeth!😂

[@noreplyzone-ef7uz]

Protein shakes can do that, a lot of gym dudes don’t know this

[@krissyhall2838]

@@my2bears Also be mindful some people may have something like halitosis.

[@safizzle8]

😂😂😂😂

[@BLACKWOMENSPEAKS]

"You played the fool. You played the dummy" 😂😂😂 He was talking to me, but not NO MORE.

[@mizzf3ntr3zz]

Your wife was different but you were different as well. You could have moved on from her and found a woman who accepted your grown boy ways...I think a lot of women are holding on to grown boys hoping that they can can grow and evolve like you did for your wife. 😢

[@bonniefay933]

What girls were taught in the '50s and '60s by their fathers were to take "mad money" on a date, in case you get mad at the boy and need a cab drive home. That's what you need, women. Have "mad money" in the bank and a plan in case you need to end a relationship and get yourself set up in a new place, and always be dating several men at the same time (options) until you have a proposal and a ring from one. So when a guy does you dirty, you have options AND "Mad money." Then you won't be afraid to walk away if you're not getting the treatment you require.

[@tinyking11]

Preach! This is how I live my life, until I’m in a committed relationship I’m going to date multiple men. Also I have my own money. 🔥

[@bonniefay933]

@@LA-wv7gf Yes, you're right! Don't take yourself off the market. It takes a lot of time to really get to know a person. So don't allow exclusive dating until much later. Don't have sex, which in a woman's mind constitutes a relationship, but not for men. They don't see sex as a big deal. If you DON'T hold off on these things, you're always sorry later that you didn't.

[@abenigold6219]

❤❤❤

[@Shasta_style]

This is true! My grandma would always take a lil from the grocery shopping- write a check for 25 over etc & always kept the change when my grandpa gave her cash for something. AND my grandma never went into his wallet & my grandpa NEVER went into her purse. Never not once. That was a big No NO 😂

[@MissPetrina1]

Standards should be based in faith, moral values. Stand strong in them ladies. Don't waver for a man or anyone. Keep God first. 🙏🏾

[@joycewatt800]

Amen 🙏🏾

[@BmoreBetterNOW]

I think that we need to remember a few fundamentals. 1) men need to know & love God FIRST - men were never designed to be restrained by women but by God & God has never need a woman’s help. So what Tony is speaking to is the failed state of man - the tendencies towards corner cutting and relational laziness. The further away from God a man is the less likely ANY woman is going to get through to him. I don’t care if she could be The One because he is not and can’t be The One. In this day and age we need to listen to people from a filter of (is this biblical)? 1) a man has to know God & the Holy Spirit be working on him AND AND 2) a woman has to know God and be trying to uphold Godly values … Those two individuals come together + compatibility & you can actually have something.

[@munchiis2486]

Amen!

[@mike619]

Im officially addicted to watching Tony Gaskins videos. pls send help! (I know im not the only one!)

[@susanma3483]

Preach

[@apriljoy_jc]

The respect you have for your wife (and the respect she has for herself) is a beautiful thing. 🙏🏾

[@docinmaking8894]

..."God, Life, and my Wife!" - Would make a good title for a future book, Tony.

[@queenkeesh8660]

I settled cus I wanted a family but never again

[@kristenmoonrise]

"I want me some of that PPP fraud" 🤣🤣 Nah I get it! Thanks for the message!

[@lisasmilez]

He said I want some of that 😂😂😂😂😂

[@kristenmoonrise]

@@lisasmilez 😂😂😂

[@gurlycash7394]

Tony omg. "I want me some of that fraud" 😂😂

[@pangvidal]

Tony you saved me from bad relationships thank you sir

[@KyraCathcart.]

Me too!

[@thehopefulbudgeter]

It’s just a matter of WHEN is a grown Boy Ready to change…sadly, most men choose not to grow because they really are tooooo comfortable. I know this because my Mom is living this life with my dad-unfortunately, and my mom is that woman that didn’t leave. She thinks it’s really “true love” just cuz she’s the ride or die chick. 😿 I am blessed to God my marriage is completely opposite of my mom and dad’s. ❤ God knew, and was looking out for me. 💯‼️ Respect yourself FIRST ☝🏽 and foremost, Ladies. It’s their loss, never yours. Don’t hesitate to leave. Life is too short to be miserable with One person forever 😂🙄 your KING is out there. 👑

[@intentionalgreatness]

"Gladly be doing fraud right now"😂😂😂

[@MissPetrina1]

You are absolutely right and I have said something similar. Even when men sleep around they are trying to in a certain way protect their hearts so that they don't attach to any one girl. It's funny and ironic because men are commanded to love wives as Christ loved the church but many men are so punkish nowadays and have been throughout history where they seek to preserve self, seek to protect self in the wrong ways, when often, there is nothing to protect themselves from except themselves! The one who cares and is invested the most is absolutely the one with the least power and it seems the pursuit of every man is his warped sense of power in everything he does. He wants to have and maintain his idea of power. And yet women have been looking for love with these people? Thank you for giving away the game.

[@TheShaniVerse]

It's the gladly be doing fraud.... I'm screaming Tony!!

[@nishanicole]

You’re like a big brother I never had with this advice.

[@luevondataylor6286]

I agree

[@southerngurl.speaks4901]

So true! Big brother don't be playing about his little sisters.

[@relisbetrel]

Most definitely, I'm blessed by his videos 🙏🏼

[@dinomeanmann7391]

This message is for us brothers too!!!

[@chelaylayx3]

Taking your son to Europe to watch a fútbol game to help him follow his dreams is so beautiful, I was momentarily emotional ❤ 26:26 best believe I also took out my journal to write my standards down

[@erynd.9911]

Been listening every single day for the last two weeks ! I’m feeding my spirit !

[@Missybella92227]

Tony is on 🔥 fire. Closing up the year strong. Multiple vids a day with golden, factual wisdom. God bless you and your family Tony🙏

[@Steakout-jy1jj]

I never heard anyone put life lesson into such a simple understanding… now it’s up to us as gate keepers of the family to walk it out, it’s not to late for us or our children!!!

[@trinjuwan4422]

" A woman is a stabelizer"...the TRUTH shall set us FREE❤🙏🏽

[@PickmeshaJones]

Potential vs production is vital to understanding if a man is worth it.

[@lekeshiacole9065]

TG said fraud 😂😂😂😂

[@MersayW]

Right😂😂😂😂TG is so honest

[@MizzMontanaOfficialChannel]

youre right about the role playing. I have done this to practice my " i am no longer interested in pursuing this connection" speech to people. I feel better sating it instead of ghosting and being weird because i know how i feel when that happens to me, but there was a time i realized i was actually doing it too to the men i wasnt interested in. thats when i started practicing my communication in this situation

[@AshLeePriscilla]

This is a whollllle word! My God my God my God

[@dominiquedelaine]

Whew!! This just encouraged me because holding standards and dealing with some of these men can be brutal sometimes but I will continue to stand strong 🙌🏽

[@kelseyaleah]

Tony cracked the code on this one!👏🏽

[@hapshabyahyisrael9810]

Make it clear! Bring it out! Put it on the table! Truth and understanding is served! You are right Bro. Tony! Healing is never completed and is tested while in a new relationship. You taking us to life school that is a continuous class!

[@sanaimcclain]

you’re doing great Mr. Gaskins, may God continue to bless you and your family🙏🏾🤍

[@corrinnmarie]

Tony, you ain’t have to look dead in the camera when you said “YOU are a project.” 😂😂😂 We hear you bro! THANK YOU!

[@marshahinson6930]

Blessings to you and your family Tony! We appreciate you being a stand-up man, husband, father, and example. It’s not easy, but worth it! My Dad was a stand-up man, husband, father, leader inside of the home, in his career, at church, and in the community rest his soul, and as his daughter seeing and experiencing his great example, I would never disrespect myself or my Dad, by marrying anything less! 💖

[@elizabethnamirembesekitto1232]

Amen girl. How blessed you have been❤ Praying for you to stay blessed😊

[@flofearless9173]

Ain’t ⛽️ him up but TG definitely on Mount Rushmore for real leaders of god with a voice in the world. He well known and pushes me to speak out on my platform as well. TG 👊🏾

[@akilahbatyah6505]

Yep, I’m making a podcast now about staying away from fornication. That was on the video before this.

[@iyanayona5348]

Mr. Gaskins, what are the signs a born again man has no ambition or is likely a future case of 'failure to launch' or missed potential?

[@latarareed7321]

SOME PEOPLE ONLINE MISREAD POSTS, THERBY THEN MAKN CMTS THAT DONT CLEARLY APPLY , THEN SOME PEOPLE ONLINE PERCEIVE THINGS OFFLY, AND RESPONDS TO CRITICIZE NEGATIVE 👉 INTENTIONALLY 😢😢😢😢 ITS SOME REAL SAD BUISNESS

[@cdotnicole]

Keep standing on business Tony! We need u!

[@MN-wq6ex]

Thank you, Tony! I really needed this message today. The grown boy I have dealt with for too long ghosted me and I have been so hurt. Thank you for letting me know that I must keep my standards instead of letting him trick me into thinking he won’t wait.

[@queensun6059]

👸congratulations🥳it hurts😭but him ghosting is a gift from God🎁. bc u deserve a man who'll never ever ghost u . metaphorically only: condolences to her...😌

[@MN-wq6ex]

@@queensun6059 Thanks for your reply . I am feeling weak today because I still want him back. Feeling a strong yearning for him during the season. Need help staying strong and not contact him.

[@Rahkiya]

“The loudest in the room is the weakest in the room” ..TGjr.

[@daiyahpayentertainments]

16:50 STAND ON BUSINESS 💯

[@erieb720]

Your words are not falling on deaf ears. Sometimes the words bite , but the advice will make us better.

[@Miltonfam2]

He is telling the truth 100% and I'm listening

[@eileendom5858]

Wonderful! It’s hard when you go through moments of self doubt for standing your ground. Then you speak about being willing to let go and know something else is for you. My ex did not consider me in his future because he didn’t know my money ie; my 401K retirement or my salary. I stood my ground and lost him, but listening today I didn’t lose.

[@Anairis0701]

I pressed play so fast lol Thank you for giving away the game 🙏🏽

[@mariadanae]

Thanks for this. You gave me homework. Ima KNOW My worth.

[@southerngurl.speaks4901]

You broke the whole code with this one. It always comes back to the same thing you've been saying for years. LOL Stand on your standards. We really do teach people how to treat us. You broke down the psychology of a man and the mindset. You know the games and ways some men manipulate so women won't complain or address issues just to be in control with no accountability. Thank you for sharing your wife's stance and exalting her due to her stance and not accepting your Bad Boy behavior. You attribute her all the time with the catalyst for your change. You are saying that out of all the easy women who let you do whatever you chose your wife because she didn't accept your crumbs and challenged you the most. How she would remove herself and in turn it motivated you to become a better man. We are going to encounter men like this yet you describe that we are worth the investment if we set a standard to be invested into. Blessings to you and your family. I hope you do Dallas soon we love and support you when you come. Your work here is important. Don't get weary in well-doing. Galatians 6: 9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

[@brixandblooms]

We have to be careful about judging a woman for her being vulnerable enough to tell you about her past. The problem is with the wrong person it can be used against her. For instance; if a woman tells you she may have anxiety attacks based on behaviors that you may display (raising your voice) from a former abusive relationship. That doesn't mean she's saying you are him. She's explaining why she has those attacks. It's also smart for you not to be blindsided if dude runs up on yall. You really need to know his character. She's not saying all men are the same. She's just saying be gentle with her.

[@MizzMontanaOfficialChannel]

i love this message but i have had several projects being a good one and building from the bottom tryna stick besides my man. Just to be dropped and/or ghosted and even kicked out or the man snuck and moved out once they were in a better position. never fails. but i guess that is me dealing with grown boys. i agree we all need work. but dang.

[@SaoulkieBertin]

Exactly what I needed to hear, Coach! God bless you and your family!

[@Xavierasworld1982]

Thank you Tony for this I'm actually going through this , I had to walk away fully with no contact

[@sarabham9889]

I would like to thank you brother, because of your advice I landed my dream job… it was in one of your videos to walk around a mall alone I did that at our shopping park and got my dream job as a beauty specialist. Thank you loads

[@tia.aliesha]

I just started listening to your channel at the beginning of 2024. This is a new season for me. Thank you for your knowledge

[@queenkeesh8660]

This is true consistency n a man if his word is non negotiation for me n also jus jn home dates is nothin im ever accepting again idc if I’m with him for years n one that not talkn marriage with two years n acting on it

[@KiaraGrace-wh7mp]

Mr.Gaskins , I have been watching few of your recent videos. I am only 18 years old, so please forgive me if my question comes across as naive or gullible. But I am confused regarding whether I am supposed to date a Man of Character/ Grown man or date a Grown boy and change him into a Grown Man? Are there no Grown Men in this world? Or just Grown boys who need to be changed ? Because in one of your previous videos you spoke of how a man of character would not play the grown boy games. I am a Christian woman (virgin) living a chaste life. And I want my husband to be a chaste man who himself wants to save himself till marriage and is not doing it because I want to because that would put me in a sticky situation where I am responsible for his chastity and I do not know how that would translate into a marriage. Because than I would have to responsible for his chastity/fidelity in marriage. (Of course , I would not be a temptress testing him.) Again, please feel free to correct me . I know this is a long message but unfortunately I do not have any male figures in my life to ask this to. Thank you for your words of wisdom.

[@la6136]

Never waste your time trying to change a man. Have your standards, stick to them, and if the man is unwilling to meet your standards cut him off immediately. If a man wants you he will do what he has to do. If he makes excuses he doesn't really want you. Get this knowledge young so you don't mess up your life trying to change a grown boy.

[@1racethehumanrace946]

You can't change him. Also go back and watch Tony's previous videos. You'll find most of your answers there.

[@TonyGaskins]

Stay locked in Sis! You’ll get it over time. The messages weave together.

[@Orykol]

I like how your smiling while you give the intro cuz the devil bout to get bopped upside the head with this.

[@nakooshaalbert8884]

Thank you for inspiring us!! I struggle in the area of communication been working on it, it’s not easy but I’m sure I’ll get there😅

[@LiLSaMMiieWaM1]

Thank you Tony 🙏🏾🙏🏾 it’s beautiful to see a black man humble on a platform and just speaking his truth. God bless you and the family!

[@tamikadaniels6556]

Keep giving us game. Setting things straight. Im healing.

[@AtlantaAngel84]

Tony. You have been on fire the last few uploads. All of your content is valuable and helpful, but your transparency lately is really just opening my eyes.

[@TheTokyoNailShop]

30:17 Tony!! I’ve been watching you for years now.. you should absolutely bring on those testimonials on your channel! Would love to see those!!

[@nadinemcpt]

This video is so on time. I had to go back to my written list of standards, trying to figure out why my current relationship isn't feeling fulfilling. I realised it's because I compromised on one of my standards.. Definitely made an effort to communicate that in a way that expresses my needs, wants and desires.

[@nivanisadhai2476]

Thank you Tony, because of you, my relationship has developed, mattered and growed well together with my man.

[@itstimefortea4582]

I actually heard this years ago. However, sometimes men will assume you are dating someone else or do not care to see them. How do you deal with that in relationships?

[@Cake1848]

She don’t want a project but she can make that man better. Make him better! 😂😅😊

[@Airazaseraph]

Thank you so much for being a stand up man and sharing this! I'm a 48 year old woman who's been married for 21 years and miserable for most of it. I'm admittedly the most emotional and it does work against me. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your wisdom through your videos. May God continue to bless you and your family. 🙏❤

[@denettborrum1876]

Facts Tony, that seems to be the issue for me. My strength of being independent , and being mental stable, and motivated, has scared people off. So that tells me that they were trying to enter into my life for the wrong intentions. That's what being strong does to a weak minded person.

[@danasmith8390]

The absolute worst can become one of the best

[@Keysofdavid444]

Wow? You keep it so 💯 that it sometimes scares me. But it's mostly Greatly appreciated!! Thankyou

[@hapshabyahyisrael9810]

You teaching us something now!

[@DuvallsDiary]

The big bro I never had thank you for your all your lessons 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@deborahfranklin9370]

Great analogy in the end with employment. Very thought provoking.

[@martineterrell1798]

Tell it like it is, Tony.

[@sherieash1280]

God bless you Tony Gaskins. You taught me the game...now I NEVER get played!

[@GotThatFiya]

This is the wisdom we always wanted but never got! Truly, in TG’s words, “What daddy never told his little girl.”

[@tarahbruno3793]

I’m many seasons these videos helped me more than a sugar coated church Sermon! Thank you Tony

[@tkdelvin]

Thank you for putting us (women)up on game.

[@Shae_3]

Listening to this I’m reminded of a story when I was in undergrad hearing Tony talk about going to make a sell. A guy I knew called me around 2:00am and was inebriated, I checked him about calling me that way and so late. He apologized and invited me out the next weekend but I never got a chance to hangout out with him that weekend because he passed away driving inebriated coming from a party. I say all that to say you have to start checking them and telling them the truth, you may just save his life if he’s willing to listen and walk away if he’s not willing to change.

[@jaslene9858]

I’ve always loved when Tony did his grown boy series

[@Ebonysfaithfulwalk]

You are such an inspiration for our culture. I pray that God continue to bless you with more wisdom to pour into us. God Bless you bro I don’t know you but you definitely seem like a big bro ! 😎

[@shirleybrown2056]

Tony your transparency is so appreciated! 🙏

[@lisasmilez]

You are a project! 😂😂😂 let that sit right there

[@MariaCM2024]

Wow! This was a great DETAIL breakdown ❤❤❤❤

[@aisanabali]

Thank you Mr. Tony for sharing this

[@angelalynn4225]

Good word TOny these are true words!

[@Elle-ff5hc]

Keep the videos coming Tony!

[@favor9163]

Can you go deeper on how to create standards after not having any?