Top 10 Mistakes Men Make in a Divorce (And How to Avoid Them!)

This video discusses the many mistakes that men typically make in a divorce, and how to avoid them. Thing such as moving out of the house, not filing first, choosing the wrong attorney , just to name a few.
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Divorce and family law for men. Your leading source for all things divorce and family law related. Attorneys at ADAM have been advising men in divorce for 24 years now and works along with a great team of dedicated and professional lawyers and staff. We have all had our own personal struggles and can relate to what you are going through. Through education and free information and content we are hoping to help you start this process the right way. We are here if you are looking to hire an attorney but we have so much more available for you as well. ADAM is an organization that is much more than just divorce attorneys. With the help of our videos and e books and other information you can get divorced without losing your house or your kids or your assets. Don’t lose everything by getting bad advice. You work hard to protect your family and we are here to fight for you. You don’t have to be evicted from your life just because you’re getting divorced. We are ADAM strong!

[@basicprogrammer6147]

Mistake 0: Getting married as a man.

[@Itallaboutwatithink]

😂 or as a woman. I was the bread winner in the household.

[@basicprogrammer6147]

@@Itallaboutwatithink But you, as a woman, have the courts on your side.

[@GLVSCOW]

​@@Itallaboutwatithink You also have the benefit of being able to have people buy or do stuff for you just because. As a guy, if I have nothing and I died tomorrow, no one would fucking care

[@er1kSD]

😅

[@goldwingrocks3859]

​@@GLVSCOWRight on.

[@TeslaBoy123]

#1 huge mistake is getting married with a poison snake and having children that is a huge mistake 🥵🥵🥵

[@SingleDadSurvival]

It can be tough as hell being a single dad... I talk about my own struggles/dealing with child support on my channel if you think it may help you...just to share stories. Keep your head up and fight. 🤝

[@screenplay78de]

I’d be rather a single dad than get ripped through the divorce procedure.

[@Al-mk4xl]

To your #1 moving out: I didn’t want to move out and leave behind my kids, it was easy for her to have removed by filing a restraining order by only saying that she’s afraid of me. Then she just kept renewing them year after year, after she saw how easy it was to lie and win, she started adding new lies to block my visitations, I was completely bankrupted for having to go to court at least once a month every time for some new accusation. The mistake I made was that I met a nicer, prettier, high class, well to do woman and she got jealous even though she was the one filing for divorce. I was unable to marry my new girlfriend because she threatened us to go after us both. I had to wait until the girls finished college to get remarried again(we lived in MA, child support lasts until kids finish college). I agree with the comment below: don’t get married is the best solution, I understand you earn livings from divorces, so that’s not something you’ll be recommending.

[@workingshlub8861]

number one mistake man does is get married in the first place..

[@alltheworldsastage4785]

Boom! Took my comment! 😂

[@SingleDadSurvival]

Bingo, I’m working on a video on my channel now about why marriage is not an option for men and western culture right now. Good luck to you.

[@Deezyduffus]

You said it

[@pckid6780]

Ha..truth!

[@IQD1million]

I thought marrying somebody who was non American would be a better approach. But as it has come to see me from talking with somebody who knows a lot of people who married women overseas is that they have no concept of financial responsibility, investing or saving money. My wife is a financial nightmare. Now I'm just trying to exit this as best. I can before she sits down for coffee with all of her friends from the same country and put bad things into her brain. I told myself to get a pre optional but I didn't and now I regret it.

[@benjaminralow1176]

Slavic woman by chance?

[@SingleDadSurvival]

Yikes, I’m sorry to hear about your story. I’m working on a video now with a similar topic on my channel. Stay strong through this.

[@user-xk9zu6rc5w]

Never bring them back to USA

[@oscarwinner2034]

I'm a few months into the process. Just watching this now. Thankfully I've avoided all 10 of these. Nice video. Thanks.

[@SingleDadSurvival]

Good luck to you brother. I’m making a comprehensive divorce video on my channel now sharing my own experience if you think it’ll help you 🤝

[@mathewkahane7306]

You’re lucky.

[@mathewkahane7306]

I love my son to death, but I wish I had given more thought to marriage before going through with it.

[@abusubhi311]

I think I chose the wrong one. Don't feel as I am getting any advice I should be or any recommendations on what to do. I have to thank you sir and alot of your videos which has helped me. Second divorce lawyer, just never had a clue on what to do or how to go about any of this. Thank you again for your help

[@COZY_RELL]

This is great information

[@HustleHolicsworldwide]

I been married for 3-5 months. I finally got fed up with her tell me things like I never should have married you. Mentally draining me. Blaming me for all the problems she keeps causing deflecting saying it me. Pick and pick until she gets a rise out of me. Try to have a conversation where when I finally try to talk and she cut me off and tell me what I’m about to say. Manipulate the conversation. So today we decided to break and get a divorce. Now she is filling say I’m abandoning her on the paperwork. How do I go about this? No kids/property or bills together.

[@induhs2840]

Bro you file a case of mental and verbal abuse on your spouse

[@bryanburke7947]

Runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.......!

[@rodceasar]

Get annulment asap

[@zasuke1727]

I’m in the same situation brother. Together for 6 years, Married for 4 and now it has came to an end. I’m an Army Vet and has sacraficed alot for her and my 4 year old daughter. She financed a cosmetic surgery with my Social Security, left me in Bad Credit debt, left my Car damaged with a failed transmission running it on no Coolant, and now leaving with my 4 year old daughter back to her Father’s home.

[@Time.for.tea.]

Similar things going on here, except it’s my husband who’s abusive like that.

[@TheFlippingEngineer]

#2 about filing first really isn't true in most No Fault and 50/50 states. My lawyer is the opposite, he preferred that my wife files first so we can see her demands and can play defense. I think this is the best strategy in Missouri - which is a no fault state.

[@leeleeloveshurdcrew]

Ohio as well.

[@antonglas7488]

Back in the 1970s in the days before social media I arrived home from work one evening and my wife with our 2 kids had gone. I discovered she went to her parents home. She absolutely refused contact with me and within 7 days I received a lawyers letter she had filed for divorce meaning my wife must have secretly filed for divorce before she left me. I was 29 years old and never had a clue about lawyers. I ended up hiring 3 different lawyers and each one told me I`m screwed. In the end I decided to defend myself. It transpired she did have a secret boyfriend that I discovered after the divorce was finalised, I was ordered out the house and stung paying child support. Not so cut and dry as this guy is saying in the video.

[@Norm475]

There is only one mistake men make, and that is getting married in the first place.

[@Deezyduffus]

I HATE MY WIFE WELL SHES NOT EVEN MY WIFE SOMEONE I GOT MARRIED TO BIG MISTAKE

[@eggshellskullrule7971]

Why am I feeling the same here? I ain’t feeling like she treats me as her husband. How about 7 intercourses in 12 years?

[@bennettbrookstein6203]

yes, I've already done 2-3 of these things mentioned. (canceling cell phone plan)

[@savygamer1231]

So my wife abandoned me and my son financially and emotionally should I go for child support iv been a stay at home dad for 3 years and now looking for a job to support my son she also took the only car seat and is basically ghosting us no support at all. Or is there a double standard and she gets more rights then me?

[@mokush4me412]

You both of you can be level headed about the divorce and compromise about assets and children. Do a uncontested divorce and save thousands.

[@garciasschevy]

What are the things that can be done right after receiving the divorce citation petition?

[@basicprogrammer6147]

Another problem I have is my wife hired the most acrimonious, unethical lawyer on this planet. I am pro se. He is forwarding hate email to me from my wife, at his encouragement. He told her to call the police when I asked her family for financial help. He told her to call the police when I emailed my son that his cousin was playing golf on TV. He let her lie on the witness stand, I have hard copy proof that she lied, but he has not told the judge He told her to open my mail from the IRS, keep it, and then send it to me after the due dates had passed, thus freezing my bank accounts. I was a week late on my child support, so he filed a motion to have me sanctioned and then pay legal fees.

[@candywhite7149]

Big Mistakes Man do is: Getting married.

[@basicprogrammer6147]

Can a judge force the sale of the home when neither party wishes to sell or move out? And, in my case, our son is 15 and established in his current high school, so a judge may not force the sale. In other words, even in the most acrimonious divorces, divorced people can live together, correct?

[@SingleDadSurvival]

It can be tough as hell being a single dad... I talk about my own struggles/dealing with child support on my channel if you think it may help you...just to share stories. Keep your head up and fight. 🤝

[@SingleDadSurvival]

I believe the answer to your question is no, a judge couldn’t force that. I’m making a video on a similar topic soon

[@Mapp2004]

I want to know about this too.

[@tbagjonez153]

I couldn’t file first cause I had no idea where my soon to be ex wife was. They kept telling me to hire a private investigator. Never found out where she was until I got served papers.

[@Hollywood6566]

How do feel about mediation?

[@rocketboostjump]

Mediation? He is a divorce lawyer and he hates them. I wouldn't take an advice from a divorce lawyer because they profit from other people's misery.

[@SingleDadSurvival]

Mediation is definitely the preferable option but of course the other side isn’t always amicable. I have a few videos on it on my channel if you would like to check it out.

[@Hollywood6566]

Well since I asked 4 months ago, she decided to play dirty. Bogus temporary restraining order and all. Everything was dismissed but now a full out rock em sock em divorce is happening. Sucks!

[@SingleDadSurvival]

@@Hollywood6566 sorry to hear man. Keep your head up and fight

[@DWBurns]

I am 100% disabled police officer and dependent on her income. I need driven to medical appointments. I am a major financial drag. I am difficult to live with but I am having difficulty walking, I am in deadly pain.

[@ste6826]

Worth watching.

[@stevewise1656]

Very helpful information.

[@dedicated5150]

She did most you said men shouldn't do so thank you I will add these to my journal of information

[@Time.for.tea.]

This is great info for us women too!!! Very helpful! Is the process the same in Ohio?

[@leeleeloveshurdcrew]

No.. Ohio is a 50/50. I would bet it’s better to play defense.

[@user-sm5nw8iz7i]

What IF , it really Is HIM being a mean person? What if you WERE “THAT WIFE”, the one who was true and HE cheated , abused emotionally , controlled , isolated etc ? Then what ? I DON’T want to hurt him ( despite all that )But - I have to get out 😢 . It almost (literally ) killed me > ❤🤨🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Thomas-cc9yv]

Appreciated.

[@77teahupoo]

Great video, thank you

[@parentingtogetherapart4451]

In Australia, we are not encouraging of parents living together after separation. Concerns whilst parents are in high conflict with each other could result in domestic violence or allegations of the same resulting in Domestic Violence order served forcing one parent or the other to leave the property. There are many ways to protect properties and most important, immediate mediation which is required before you can file for the Family Courts gives parents an opportunity to sort preliminary agreement to assist in reducing the concern of the situation escalating. Thank you for your video. :)

[@oscarwinner2034]

Interesting. I’ve been walking on egg shells while I’m separated. Try to never be alone with her in the house. I fear the tactics to get me out. We don’t argue or really converse. It’s really messed up to think that someone you loved for so long (30 years for me) would be someone you don’t care to see anymore.

[@babykaur430]

Hello sir do you work in Michigan,I like your knowledge.i looking a attorney for my son s divorce thank

[@sk3ffingtonai]

In my mind, #2 on the list is the most important, presuming of course one was silly enough to get married in the first place. (USA) The 2nd one is most important is because when you file first you are the Plaintiff and the soon-to-be-ex is the Defendant. An important although subtle advantage. It puts you in the driver's seat, legally and psychologically. Divorce in the USA has become psychological warfare. Why weren't attorneys telling men this 30 years ago? We already know the answer to that question.

[@bassworship50]

Thanks, I almost committed 2 of these.

[@nnc5645]

Sir, you give good advice but why not help for Women to? I could definitely use help in the county of NC im in. I think you'd be "like, wth??" If you knew my story. Guess You have your reasons. ✌🏻😷🙏

[@jimmyb5935]

Great channel, do you have any recommendations on a attorney in las vegas?

[@ADAMDivorceAttorneysforMen]

No, I'm sorry I do not know anyone there. You could try the webstie aaml.org and do a search by state and city

[@Josephine-rn5bv]

Please can I get an attorney in North Carolima?

[@Foxie635]

You can’t just get a judge to sign an order for someone to leave the house. It’s his house, too.

[@kylehayes6498]

Yes you can!

[@conniefoxx9813]

If only my son had listened to his momma he'd not be in this pickle where she has sat on her ass for the last 14 years running up debt and not even doing housekeeping.

[@mohamedjama5799]

I got ( Avoided) 9/10. and filed and served her yesterday

[@SingleDadSurvival]

Congratulations, first start of the process. I’m working on a video now on sharing my own separation on my channel.

[@Doctor.Dentista]

I wish I lived in an at-fault state.

[@wesleybarron2097]

what state are u at

[@ADAMDivorceAttorneysforMen]

the great state of Michigan!

[@Tony-hf9mv]

You have any partners in GA

[@ADAMDivorceAttorneysforMen]

Sorry no

[@Foxie635]

You can file first but truth eventually comes out.

[@mr.e.4837]

But we have compromised our lives married to them...😂.

[@southboundeightyone4958]

What really matters is who gets SERVED first!!

[@pistoreroloco]

How come?

[@southboundeightyone4958]

@pistoreroloco One reason is that it determines where the proceedings will take place. If a husband and wife separate and one of them moves to a different county they can each file for divorce from the other in the county in which they currently live. Whoever gets their papers served on the other 1st will have their filing before a judge in their county.

[@leir2005]

I can vouch for that. When my wife and I decided on a divorce, she had already moved back to New Jersey with her mother while I remain behind in California. I had her served first, which means if she was going to put up some sort of a fight she would have to be taking flights to and from New Jersey. Chances are there isn’t a lot of money between the two of you to begin with and one of you have already raced to clean out the account anyway so the person that moves away is going to have a hard time coming back to fight.

[@javig2596]

Marry into church not the system

[@TeslaBoy123]

Same thing not matter what's soon someone got involved with a woman and have a relationship married or not same drama bcz criminal system don't discriminate to collect fees

[@signorpops8520]

BS

[@berthalina7064]

Thank you for the info. Wife here. Poor man did all those 10 LoL

[@mariamuribe28]

🤣Love this! 😂

[@Justplayin84]

Why wasn't failing/refusing to contribute financially to the children on this list?

[@123Luchak]

You all married the wrong woman.