Top 10 Slowest Cars in 1983: You Might Think They Were Quarter Mile Times!

In this video, we count down the slowest cars in 1983! There were many slow cars built this year but we thought we'd highlight some of the slowest cars for 1983. I know that some of these times will baffle you and make you think they were quarter-mile times, but they were 0-60. We hope you enjoy this video!
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[@ThisOldCarChannel]

Hi everyone! Thank you for watching and commenting! We appreciate it. Here is the link to our eBay store. If you have a poster we don't have, reach out to us! www.ebay.com/str/paylessposters

[@paulreese7788]

Good to see y old Toyota ter el coming in at #3 want a bad car in the city though good storage with the hatchback

[@imrytebeehyneu]

So what you're saying is that every car HAS to be fast in 0-60? Like what, six seconds?

[@ThisOldCarChannel]

Uh? This was the slowest cars, not the fastest cars? lol.. Thanks for watching.

[@bardigan1]

All those numbers were with the A/C off. Living in Phoenix slowed them down by 20%.

[@kurtmundt2736]

The gasoline version of the Chevy Chevette was no speedball either; in fact, merging onto the freeway was terrifying - zero to 60 was OMG SLOW.

[@danfriesen4417]

My brother had an 84 Chevette, 4 speed.. topped out at 85 mph and took FOREVER to get there 🤣 Funny, cool little car !

[@prestonstephens7719]

Asked the sales person about my Ford Escort station wagon 0 to 60 rating--. The answer was “ YES!!!”

[@willgallatin2802]

ROFLMAO!!

[@johnpartipilo1513]

In 1980 I had a 1967 Datsun 411 wagon. It had a 1.6 with twin SU side-draft carburetors and an automatic transmission. Zero to sixty? Plan ahead!

[@craigmclean8260]

Wow, now there's a rare bird, esp. here in the States! My Mom had one of these from new, but w/ the 4-speed. It seemed pretty sporty to my 9-year-old self; our other car was my Grandmom's 1965 Nissan Cedric...

[@johnpartipilo1513]

@@craigmclean8260 I was working at a Datsun dealer and I bought it used from one of our mechanics. They were Nissans in Japan, but they were Datsuns in the US, until about 1983 when they gave them the Nissan name. There was also a limousine (I forget the name) sold in Japan that was pretty impressive. The Cedric was sold in the US under the Datsun 810 model. I drove many, they were very nice. Chicago winter killed them all off and you just don't see any old Datsuns anymore.

[@zeon5323]

These cars were all fast compared to my 1983 VW Rabbit 4 door diesel 4 speed. Zero to sixty on a level dry road was 130 seconds! I drove that for 250,000 trouble free miles and always got over 50 mpg. As slow as this car was I could never use it to its full potential in traffic because everyone in front of me was always going way slower.

[@bardigan1]

I had the diesel p/u, loved that thing.

[@Timico1000]

I grew up with those in Germany and they were capable of doing 0-100 (km/h) in about 18-20 seconds. When yours really took over two minutes for it then it was really down on power, more like 20 instead of 54.

[@zeon5323]

@@Timico1000 I wonder if the German cars were set up differently. I drove other similar VW's and they were all the same.

[@Timico1000]

@@zeon5323 Or maybe you are exagerrating the time. ;) Two minutes is a lot...

[@Whyteeford]

My dad owned a 1992 VW Jetta diesel...no turbo, and with a whole 59hp I believe

[@knowbodiesfull5768]

Cadil-LACK was more like it in 1983. Well, Cadillacs were more about cruising in luxury than speed, but still. When there was a 350-cid diesel engine was under the hood, 0-60 times were so slow it wasn't funny. And how this for slow? Motorweek tested an automatic Pontiac 1000 (twin to the Chevette) and got a 0-60 time of - are you ready for this? - _30 SECONDS!_

[@MattGuzman-ng2yx]

...in the SAME DAY?!?! 🤔😏🤭

[@richsarchet9762]

Dad's 1982 Chevy pickup with the 250 straight 6 (92 hp), automatic and super tall gearing (2.73?) must have been right in there. I drove school busses that would out run it.

[@ResidentPetrolhead]

Yeah, for all the warm nostalgia we have for our "back in the day" cars, the ones they ground out in the late 1970s and early 1980s in particular were absolute dogshit. Not just slow, but *dangerously* slow. Badly compromised, indifferently assembled, often times of a quality that would have us walking quickly away were it a used car, let alone a brand new one. Not everything in modern cars represents a step forward, to be sure, but I'm very grateful to have bought my first ever new car (after decades of running classics, or sometimes "classics") in 2020, rather than 1980.

[@DavidCotten-mv9di]

The Chevy Chevette was my first car I ever owned. I was 16 and very happy about the car. When put up against a Ford Escort of the same time period, from experience the Chevette was champion.

[@kevinj2412]

Maybe slow cars weren't a bad thing, nowadays people drive like a bunch of crazy damn fools.

[@SquirminHermanthe1eyedGerman]

you got that right....common sense is not so common anymore

[@joemannix7471]

I only clicked on this video because the thumbnail showed a early 1980s Corolla. What a wonderful car. It ran at modern speeds and pulled the mountain pretty well with a manual transmission. The automatic transmissions in these cars sucked if you had to go uphill.

[@SquirminHermanthe1eyedGerman]

@@joemannix7471 I still watch your TV show

[@user-tj6ls7gf6u]

Altima drivers

[@brucesturton8521]

So true people drive on the highway like they are in the Daytona 500

[@msticks3672]

I had a 1983 Pontiac 6000 with the 2.5 L I-4. I believe it should have been on your list. It was the slowest car I ever owned and was downright dangerous merging on the highway. Forget about trying to pass someone!

[@LakeNipissing]

The Chevrolet Chevette was actually considered "dangerous" because it was so underpowered, especially with 3 speed automatic.

[@carlc5748]

....and that same 3 speed "slugo-matic" transmission that was in the Chevette, was used in the Cadillac El Dorado!

[@MattGuzman-ng2yx]

​@@carlc5748 No way!!! 😱🫣🤨

[@carlc5748]

@@MattGuzman-ng2yx Yes way! I have pics of a couple that were picketing in front of a Cadillac dealership in Los Angeles, dressed, both of them, all in yellow, with yellow placards, "Honk for Lemonade", and "Honor Thy Lemon", and they told me that their Cadillac El Dorado, had the same transmission, as the Chevy Chevette, and how it continually broke down. They had huge yellow posters displayed, documenting all of the repair visits to the dealership, leaning against their parked El Dorado. They even tied a bunch of yellow balloons onto the radio antennae! I rushed home to come back with my camera to take pictures (which I still have), with their permission. This was back about 1986, or 87.

[@johneckert1365]

​@carlc5748 No it wasn't 🚫

[@johneckert1365]

​@carlc5748 The Eldorado has been a front wheel drive car since the 1967 model year. The Chevette was rear wheel drive. Not only is your story incorrect, it's completely impossible......

[@tuffy2342]

My Mom had the 1983 Dodge 400. It was a 2 door coupe in this same gold color. It had a sunroof, brown interior and padded vinyl roof. Very nice and comfy, big trunk. She really loved this little car. It was SLOW! SLOW SLOW SLOW

[@gianmariavolonte4315]

We had an automatic Chevette in driver's training. Imagine 4 people cramped in that little tin can and the horror we felt when the instructor told us to get on the highway. Trying to merge on the highway with traffic going 55-70 MPH pretty much took all afternoon.

[@henryturnerjr3857]

A high school friend in the 90s had one of those Renaults. It didn't seem slow compared to the rest of our "first cars" I guess our parents knew what they were doing!

[@cpn_porta]

If the other 'first cars' did the same in terms of speed, the Renault surely outran them in fuel economy.

[@eloscuro704]

I drove a 1982 diesel Rabbit. I am pretty sure there is no slower car.

[@akdoc2003]

I dated a girl in high school who drove one in the late 80's. She drove that thing like a freaking race car!

[@stevemitchell7817]

My grandmother bought a 1983 Buick regal coupe. 120 hp 3.8 V6. One of the slowest cars I’ve ever been in. Then, in 1986 my cousin bought a car similar, which was white and blue the same as my grandmothers car. This 86 turned out to be a regal T type! What a difference!

[@anthonydelgiudice3245]

i had 87 regal t type was so fast back then in fact was the fastest American made car for 87

[@fredsimmons6188]

I had a 83 Imperial. I loved the styling. It was really nice. It also ran a lot better after I swapped out the EFI for a four barrel.

[@Nunofurdambiznez]

I don't care HOW slow that Cadillac is/was, I'd STILL love to have one of the '83s !

[@matthew794]

This video is kinda all over the place with their numbers. The 83 Cadillac was more like a 13.5 seconds 0 to 60. Alot better than 16.5 seconds.

[@LakeNipissing]

@@matthew794 They picked the worse case scenario with the diesel. With a 4bbl 305 or 350 V8, it would move along fine to keep up with traffic, and even roast the tires.

[@stephcrane]

@@LakeNipissing : Except you couldn't get either of those options in 1983 - that horsepower rating (135 hp) is for the HT4100 4.1L V8, which was the standard (gas) engine for the deVille in 1983. The Oldsmobile 307 wasn't available until 1986; the Chevrolet 350, 1990; and the Chevrolet 305, 1991.

[@LakeNipissing]

@@stephcrane Really? I always thought 1990 was about the year GM discontinued carbureted engines for cars. So Cadillacs didn't get the 305 or 350 until they were TBI ? Even Caprice and Parisienne could get the small block Chev V8s with a 4bbl. I have two 1986 Caprice wagons with VIN H 305 4 bbl and 1986 Parisienne with VIN H 305 4 bbl, so I know these were available on the 1977-1989 B bodies. Interesting to learn NOT for the 'premium' Cadillacs.

[@stephcrane]

@@LakeNipissing : Correct - the Oldsmobile 307 (the last descendant of the Rocket V8) was the last of GM's carbed V8s, and the Brougham had one in 1990 before switching to the fuel-injected Chevrolet 305 in 1991. The fuel-injected Chevrolet 350 was an option in 1990, though.

[@tholmes2169]

No Fords on the list, but a buddy had a 82 Fairmont Futura with the 4 cylinder. It would barely make it over the 610 bridge in Houston. He had to slam the throttle well before approaching the bridge and speed would drop off to around right below the old 55 mph federal standard when cresting the top of bridge. Fun times.

[@The_R-n-I_Guy]

It's crazy how much heavier cars have gotten. A new Civic weighs about 4,000 pounds. To see these 80's cars weighing less than 3,000 pounds makes me realize why I love 80's cars so much. It's easy to add power. It's harder to take away weight from a 2 ton car

[@betsyduane3461]

A new Civic weighs 2,877 to 3,102 lbs

[@twoeightythreez]

Some of those 80s compacts actually weighed less than 2000lb!

[@knowbodiesfull5768]

A 4000-pound Civic?! They're nowhere near THAT heavy!

[@ronbrock6153]

Those 80's small cars were death traps.

[@charlieruns7953]

Your scale might be inaccurate

[@DJPenguino51]

Missing would be the Ford LTD (fox body) with the 200 i6, before the 3.8 replaced it. Another contender would be the Mustang with the 2.3L mated with the 3 speed automatic transmission.

[@pjesf]

OMG 64hp on that Renault Alliance 😬 My Sonicare toothbrush puts out more

[@SquirminHermanthe1eyedGerman]

hahaha good one! Is it gas powered?

[@pjesf]

@@SquirminHermanthe1eyedGerman Technically it’s diesel 😂

[@SquirminHermanthe1eyedGerman]

@@pjesf LOL 😂

[@ThisOldCarChannel]

Hahaha!

[@andregonsalvez9244]

Thx for bringing back these memories I remember all these back in 83 . We had a Dodge Aspen sedan and a full-sized 84 Pontiac Parisienne wagon.

[@brentboswell1294]

In 1983, most of these cars were still carbureted, and the domestic manufacturers thought that 3 speed automatics were good enough for evertbody. You can't get emission control compliance with a carburetor if you let the engine have even a hint of performance. The gearing on these cars is also very high- 2:1 rear ends weren't unheard of. The name of the game was CAFE (Corporate Average Fuel Economy), and the big three were all about saving every penny from the cost of manufacturing, to the point where the Foxbody Mustang with a V8 had 4 lug wheels (it really needed 5 lug wheels!).

[@donreinke5863]

I bought a 1981 Fox-body Thunderbird. It had 2.27 rear axle ratio and a C-4 3 speed automatic behind that miserable 255 ci V-8 engine Ford used from 1980-82. I never even drove it in that configuration. A roller-cam 302 from a 94 F-150 was built for it, the fuel injection was ditched and it was converted to carburetion with an AOD overdrive upgraded to wide-ratio using 4R70W planetaries, and a limited slip differential with 3.27 gears was installed. Its a pig no longer.

[@madmike2624]

I'm noticing a trend of 16+ second zero to 60 times..O the woe government regulations that smog bogged those poor engines of the 80's. As always, great video and content! How you guys don't have 100k subscribers is a crime!

[@theprinceofsnj]

I remember in 1984 test driving A Chevette Diesel. The salesman gave me the keys and said try this one. It was a silver 4 door. When I went to start it, I had to wait for the glow plugs. When it cranked over and started it sounded like it had 1000 tin cans under the hood. I shut it off. Went back in and stood at his desk. He asked what I thought? I held out my arm and dropped the keys on his desk. Need I say more. He did end up selling me a used 1981 Chevette Scooter

[@MattGuzman-ng2yx]

A Scooter? 🤔 You settled for 2 wheels over 4! 😂👍✌️

[@theprinceofsnj]

@@MattGuzman-ng2yx The Chevette Scooter was a sub-base model.

[@ericbutler2013]

My dad had a '83 Chevette Diesel. He bought it per the MPG. I remember when I was 16 helping him drive it from Oklahoma to Arizona and back. While not comfortable and loud - that thing was bullet proof and averaged 60 mpg to boot...that's right, 60 mpg. Fun times.

[@CarringtonHollister]

My mom had the Chevette gas and it was so slow as hell‼️

[@notanothershrubbery]

Maybe I'm old, but I don't get the emphasis on 0 to 60 timing. I really don't care if I can win a drag race from a standing start. I want to be able to pass quickly, so the acceleration from 50 mph to 70 mph is far more important.

[@Momo_Kawashima]

Hey I'm 21 and I don't get that too. All's like "uhh yeah, my car does 0-100 in 0.69 seconds and can reach 420 km/h", like where's you running to? Slow down and chill

[@blisterbrain]

Seriously, are people really blasting off from every stop light at full throttle, just to slam on the brakes in 100 yds. for the next one? Most of the time there's someone in front of you anyway, what're you going to do, slam into them and push them along faster?

[@ThisOldCarChannel]

0-60 and the quarter are the standard. Those numbers tell whether the car is a dog sled or has decent acceleration. No problem if you don't care about a 0-60 but we thank you for watching and your comments

[@notanothershrubbery]

@BOCABROTHERS Not a criticism of you or your channel. More a criticism of the standard.

[@ThisOldCarChannel]

@@blisterbrain They are here in San Antonio. Especially those loud ass POS Mustangs! I'm getting old. That noise is freaking crazy. Hey but Happy Holidays everyone!!

[@patriley9449]

I had a 1986 Cadillac Brougham with the 305 and it was slow. Once you got up to speed, though, it was a great cruiser. I think it had about 140 hp.

[@acbusinesscontinuity327]

I have a '79 Cadillac Sedan DeVille which has been retrofitted with the Olds 307 v8 that your car had. 140hp is about right - not fast, but it can hold 70-75mph very easily

[@invisiblerevolution]

80's my childhood.... luv that era! ♥️

[@fixinggrace]

The Dodge Mirada was a cool looking car, if not exactly fast. As it was, horsepower ratings were down substantially from the mid 1970s up until the early 1990s.

[@thehoff3189]

I had the variant of the Chrysler E Class, a 1985 Plymouth Caravelle. I loved that car lol, but it was quite slow. Comfortable pleasant commuter with great visibility

[@blah064]

Went to a Chrysler dealer and ask for info on the E Class. The salesman was too embarrassed to offer me a test drive, or thought I was just an inquisitive kid. Ended up buying an 83 Volvo 240. Was slow and steady.

[@donreinke5863]

The 242, 244 and 245 "box" Volvos were indestructible, even if 0-60 could be timed with a calendar.

[@The1trueDave]

I think once you get to the 20-second mark for 0-60 the 1/4-mile time is probably not all that different!

[@LakeNipissing]

Chevrolet Chevette and Citroen 2CV are both examples of cars that do the ¼ mile faster than 0 to 60 MPH.

[@ThisOldCarChannel]

Agree

[@charlesdiecastgarage]

I remember that Renault well, my parents had one that we had to replace a $20 sensor like every other week to keep it running, 😂

[@stevedeleon8775]

Thank God I still had my 1970 Chevelle Malibu 350 V8/350 HP. 2 dr.Coupe in 1983..

[@jeepinspence]

I have a candidate a 1980s Toyota pickup with the diesel and a 5 spd. I have no idea the 0-60 or if it would even go 60 , but we had one as a service truck for the service station I worked at and it was maddening!

[@OLDS98]

The list was interesting and shocking. GM took a beating on this video. I thought the Dodge Omni and Plymouth Horizon should have been on your list right up there with Chevette. You know Pontiac had a version with the T100. A lot of the cars were underpowered in the 1980's. It was not until the mid or late 80's they started gaining in power. Everyone knows the Cadillac HT 4100 was underpowered. By 1988, that problem was solved when it became the 4.5 liter V8 and then 4.9 in the early 1990's. Thank you for the video and the great footage.

[@pcno2832]

It was around this time (maybe 1984) that the Omni and Horizon got the 2.2 L engine as standard equipment making them the peppiest base-engine small cars, but the ancient Simca engine (1.6 L) that had been the cheap option must have been a real slug.

[@lisam4503]

The little Omni's haul butt. Get a GLH (Goes like hell) Shelby one and you were running with and beating V-8 Mustangs and Camaros.

[@ThisOldCarChannel]

Thanks! Yeah, we were surprised. Consumer Guide tested numbers from 1983

[@pcno2832]

The infamous 4 cylinder Camaro just missed this list, with GM adding 2 HP to the Iron Duke for 1983, but the '82, with a 0 - 60 time of about 20 seconds, would have been second from the top. Still, none of these cars beats the malaise-era champ, the 1975-1976 4.1 L 72 HP Ford Granada automatic, with a 0 - 60 time of just below (just above for those in CA) 23 seconds. From what I've read, the car didn't feel that slow around town, but getting it on the highway was sort of a long-term project.

[@dennisp.2147]

I dated a girl in High school whose dad bought her an Iron Duke Camaro intentionally for her 16th birthday. It was too slow for her to get in trouble with, but it had modern brakes and safety equipment (for the time) Also an uncomfortable back seat as I recall.

[@0017Bulldog]

Great production here. Love your sense of humor too. I had a neighbor who owned the Diesel Chevette, however he "upgraded" to the two-tone version. A lovely cranberry over a flat mustard. Yikes!

[@ThisOldCarChannel]

Thank you!

[@MattGuzman-ng2yx]

😱😫🫣

[@autochatter]

Diesel VW Rabbit and Rabbit pickups were a thing then...They were SLOW. Diesel Nissan Sentras were new for 83 too.

[@danbaumann8273]

My friend owned one of those Rabbits, slow as molasses but man it would run on an oily rag.

[@autochatter]

@danbaumann8273 Yeah..I think they run off anything mildly combustible!!!

[@05gtdriver]

I was a senior in high school in 1983. A buddy's mom drove a 1980 Buick Regal 3.8. Talk about slow. It had trouble merging on the freeway at 55mph! I'm sure it was over 20 seconds 0-60. I had a 1973 Capri 2600 V6. That car felt pretty fast back then. It would seem like a slug nowadays 😒

[@jimsvo4486]

I too was a senior in 1983 and my Dad had a Cutlass with that 3.8. Amazing how that same 3.8 did go on to be a great engine once fuel injected.

[@brentboswell1294]

As I recall, the rear end gearing is something like 2:1. My dad had a '79 Regal with the 3.8, it was way more reliable than the 1984 Ford Thunderbird that he traded it in for, and that became my high school beater in 1988 😅

[@michaelhoff6327]

You could always get on to a highway and now we are in a power is extremely important mode. I had a 1983 Dodge Diplomat 6 cylinder.

[@glx68]

Hi I'm from Germany. My aunt Annie from Rochester/Minnesota had this car too. It was very reliable quiet and solid. The 3.7 litre inline six had only 90 HP but a good torque at low rpm. Yes it was not the fastest, top speed was around 90 mph but it was enough in the 80's, with the speed limit of 55 mph, and I think it' also enough for our times!😊

[@crimson.spacecraft]

I was a high school senior in 1983. The car I had was a 1976 Dodge Coronet 4 door sedan with the 360 V8. Once, I clocked around 14.4 seconds for the 0-60 time. And to think I thought that thing was slow...

[@lisam4503]

They were still fast enough to get you a ticket if you broke the speed limit! Lol The Imperial as slow as it was still was quite sharp. Sadly the fuel injection system they put on it wasn't ready for prime time. I can't help but wonder how much that slowed it down vs ones that had them removed and a 2 barrel carb put on them. The fuel injection problem pretty much killed the Imperial from being resurrected as a continuing model.

[@Niterider73]

Not sure if it was around in 83, but I would have figured the Renault l LeCar would have made it up on the chart

[@thebigpicture2032]

Never seen a diesel Chevette or Pontiac Wagon as those must be super rare. Thankfully buyers rejected that option as most wagons had the 305. They were also surprisingly light.

[@hotpuppy1]

We had the Bonneville wagon with the Buick V6. It was doggy because of the tall rear end gears. Blew up the V6 and swapped in a small block Chevy.

[@johnpartipilo1513]

I worked at a Chevy dealer in the Chicago area in the 1990s and we had a customer that had a Chevette with the 1.8 diesel. It sounded like ice cubes in a blender and smelled like a school bus. Horrible car.

[@dennisp.2147]

They didn't last long... the V8 based diesels were adapted from a Olds gasoline engine and failed pretty quickly, blowing head gaskets and grenading the lousy transmission GM stuck behind it.

[@thebionicbassplayer]

Wow these boxy brutes were even slower than I remember. them. I didn't realize the Chevette was still being made in 83.

[@dennisp.2147]

Believe it or not, they made them until the 1987 model year.

[@KCFlyer2]

Back in the late 70's I remember an ad for the Toyota Corolla that touted "0 to 60 in 16 seconds"....as it was a huge selling point.

[@michaelhoff6327]

The 55 mph speed limit saves fuel and lifes. Bring it back.

[@mrlafayette1964]

The regular engine Chevette was a real burner at about 5 more horses than the diesel, I had one..mash the gas and it was like who me?

[@neillowy]

Keep in mind that in 83 you could not legally drive any of those cars on a highway at 60mph. They could get up to 50ish OK but 50-60 mph took up a big chunk of that time.

[@ThisOldCarChannel]

Not legally but I did

[@johnjobber2219]

I had a 1978 Granada ESS with the 4L straight 6 that had 92hp. Ran great and didn’t feel all that slow.

[@majorwilkesjr.5827]

Excellent video, but I have a suggestion. Let's take this exact same list and do a second list of which are least to most reliable .

[@seed_drill7135]

That’s more subjective than 0-60, though we all know the Tercel was more reliable than the GM diesels, K cars or Renault.

[@ThisOldCarChannel]

I like it. Let me check if we've done one yet.

[@tiptonbrett]

I had an '82 Tercel. I'm guessing the '83 model on this list was the automatic. I had a 5 speed. While not quick, it was quite a bit more agile than the automatic.

[@jeremygeorgia4943]

All cars were slow around that time. Fuel economy was still a big focus, though the gas rationing had stopped. Cars were getting smaller, but they weren't necessarily building them lighter, yet. Most cars (American) were still carbureted, and fuel injection examples were usually throttle body. Also, these are mostly sedans. No one expected them to be fast. Acceleration isn't everything, though - especially with larger engines. Also, I can't help thinking that there were some other cars that might have been just as slow or slower. You had large mid sized cars being powered by 89 horsepower engines. Interestingly enough, I was trying to think up some examples, and Chevette popped into my head. So, I wasn't disappointed to see it included.

[@joellamoureux7914]

The janitor of my high school stuffed a 350 small block chevy in his 2 door chevette. It did 9 sec 1/4 miles (allegedly). He cut the bottom off a galvanized steel garbage can and made the worst looking hood u ever saw out of it. It was only to keep the rain out of the carburetor so he usually drove with it off.

[@dennisp.2147]

The sad thing is, a 2.8 V6 like the one in a similar year Camaro would fit right in the engine bay. It would have doubled the horsepower and made it driveable. Even the 2.5 I-4 from the Camaro made half again as much horsepower. It's pretty common now for folks to stuff a 4.3 V6 from an S-10 or full size 90's truck in them.

[@SquirminHermanthe1eyedGerman]

I didnt have any of those cars, in '83 I was a 17 yr old senior in Hi Skool driving a gold '78 Ttop Z28 350 4bbl even tho it was only 190hp & still had my 1st car that I got at 15 a '72 Plymouth Fury III 2dr Sport Coupe 360 4bbl with around 175hp ✌💖☮

[@jimbartalone2766]

Your thumbnail photo looks like Motor Trend's Car-Of-The-Year candidates for 1983.

[@bishopcorva]

The leisurely get up and go, was much like a three pack a day track runner. Sure some of these could get to sixty in the single digits of time easily. Pushed out the back of a plane, hit by a bullet train, rocket propulsion, rolled off a cliff spring to mind most readily. To be fair about it, many cars were slow back then, so was bulldozers crawling but that's splitting hairs. Mainly because from what I recall of them then, pulling out into traffic meant you had to be particularly good at estimating speed of whatever is coming towards you. Merging onto a highway or interstate was often a matter of finding a downhill entrance ramp to assist. Not gonna lie though, the Dodge Mirada actually looked pretty good. The white with T-tops as pictured was a good looking poo piece. However, two tone grey over black, grey, dark blue over grey, white with black accents. To me that would be sharp looking, get one and engine/trans)rear end swap out from a wrecked near current year challenger or charger. Wouldn't need to be a red eye demon. A more base RT would be just fine.

[@ericwhitehead6451]

The problem with the MIrada and Imperial is the 2.26 rear axle ratio. I always like the little Renault. Handsome cars, to bad they where not reliable. Oh yeah, you could not get a V6 in the 400... Or any K car.

[@user-oq5bv8ue4c]

True. But you could get the turbocharged engine in most of those cars.

[@its.just.me.1.2.3.]

Slowest car I ever rode in was a mid-80s Ford Tempo. A ceiling fan had more torque than that thing.

[@krush454]

I saw the name of this video, and said to myself the chevette's gotta be iin first. I know because I owned a 1985 Chevette scooter. But you did get the 0-60 wrong. The answer is yet to be determined, its still out trying to get to 60 gread video love the channel :D

[@willgallatin2802]

The '83 Ford Escort was SLOWER than a diesel Chevette. However with a bit of fiddling around with the Chevette fuel pump it could be made a wee bit better. There was just no hope for that darn Ford though.

[@FullTimeGT]

To put in perspective, I had a 1973 Super Beetle, 4sp manual, with it's "powerful" 1.6L rated @46hp, and in 1983, no joke, I was gapping by 2 to 3 cars lenght diesel Chevettes in acceleration. This is how slow these Chevettes was. It was ridiculusly slow.

[@davidwalia3451]

Good video, good times. The Cadillac (no. 9). If on a level highway, the cruise was set at 55 mph, and then going up a slight grade, that engine would have no doubt struggled to maintain 55 mph. Good times as well in a 1983 Lincoln Continental 5.0 V 8, Fox platform, with the Continental tire trunk lid.

[@angrycatowner]

Don't forget to mention the diesel powered cars of this era. Such as the Mercedes 240 and 300D, and the Oldsmobile diesels. They were slow.

[@PAHighlander24]

I had an Alliance. It wasn't noticeably slow but maybe because it was a stick shift. I enjoyed the car but its love was cut short by its transmission dying at 80,000 miles. They quoted a rebuild at $6,000 + parts. That was too much even by today's costs.

[@blisterbrain]

We had an Alliance, an automatic,and it was honestly reasonably peppy cruising around at normal speeds. I once somehow took a 90° bend at 70 mph like a rallye car, so handling was okay, too! Really comfortable for a small car, also. The 65 hp must've been like the cheapest base engine, or something, I think it was more like 85. Still too much for the transmission, though. I didn't know the manuals sucked, too.

[@PAHighlander24]

@@blisterbrainI don't remember what engine mine had. I was very pleased with its handling and ride. My Dad tried to discourage me from buying it. He bought a Renault Dauphine in 1958. (VW Beetles had a 1 yr waiting list then.) His Renault's engine's main bearings burned out within a year. They must have improved since, as my in-laws in the UK have owned several Renaults in the past 20 years without any complaints, and they are competitively priced.

[@blisterbrain]

@@PAHighlander24 I think Renault is kind of hit or miss. For a while, they dominated Formula 1, and some of their cars were quite robust, and then others were absolute rubbish. Their ownership of Nissan has certainly tarnished that brand's reputation!

[@garylangley4502]

I drove a Datsun 1200 with an automatic once and I'm sure that the 0-60 time was listed as "eventually".

[@MattGuzman-ng2yx]

😂

[@harvey1016]

Had an alliance and a omega. Never really noticed the performance deficit. I got them used and drove them until there was nothing left.

[@acbusinesscontinuity327]

Another contender for this would be the 1976 Buick Le Sabre with a 3.8L V6 developing 110hp - remember this is pre-downsizing, so it was a 4300lb 221 inch land yacht 😂0-60 in around 20 seconds as I recall.

[@johneckert1365]

Wow I never knew they put that stupid V6 in the "big" cars.

[@m00nkinftw]

The Renault alliance with the 3 speed automatic actually took 20 freaking seconds to get to 60mph!

[@Jdub6580]

No wonder the old fashioned people thought the 83 Camaro ss, with its earth turning 150 brake horsepower, was a sports car to be reckoned with! It was!

[@johnmaki3046]

I owned three Oldsmobile Cutlass models ('81-83) These were "231" V-6 and "307" V-8 "powered"! ALL SLUGS...CRAWLING DOWN THE ROAD! MoPars, "of the era" TRIED!

[@yomuno2511]

My mother had a 1980 Thunderbird with 200 cid inline six that I learned how to drive in 1982. There is a 2 mile moderate grade near my home on I-75 that even today some semi trucks slow below 60 to make the climb. That Tbird would top out at 66 mph on that climb. Speed limit was 55 then, so I was still breakin tha law 🤘 😂 Yea, I probably had Judas Priest blasting thru the 8 track with 6x9 Jensen's I installed for my mom.

[@sponk2112]

I'm American, and I've never heard anybody pronounce the "t" in "Renault" and I've been around awhile, including when the Alliance hit the market.

[@MrTPF1]

Have to disagree. My Dad always pronounced it.

[@ThisOldCarChannel]

The T, the L, who cares. They a POS anyway.

[@moonbeamskies3346]

I raced a Tesla Plaid in a stock Chevy Chevette diesel. It was close but I beat it to 60, 80, and 100. I believe in that little car and it doesn't let me down.

[@The_R-n-I_Guy]

I miss my Chevette. Thankfully it wasn't a diesel. I would love to have another Chevette

[@louism8217]

Wow, now that's dangerously slow.

[@warpet2011]

That Dodge Mirada would make a cool project street machine.

[@davidpiacenza9033]

we used to callit the renault appliance.

[@ThisOldCarChannel]

Haha!

[@davidkean1487]

I had a 82 VW Vanagon Diesel. The absolutely slowest vehicle of all time!

[@cadillacdevile]

I think my childhood flat nose school bus (5th grade, we called it Larry) was faster then some of these models lol

[@ThisOldCarChannel]

Lol!!

[@KDoyle4]

Where is the 1983 Chevrolet Camaro with the 2.5 Iron duke engine in this mess? And by the way, the Dodge Diplomat is not "full framed", it's a unibody like all Chrysler products of the era.

[@RJMay3]

1980 VW Rabbit Diesel...game over.

[@seed_drill7135]

When they tried entering the US market after WWII, they marketed as Ren-Alt, but used the standard French pronunciation when they bought into AMC.

[@ponchoman49]

Are you sure the 1983 Cadillac Deville that did 16.5 seconds wasn't a diesel? We drove a number of these at our dealership and while not fast was more like a 12-13 second 0-60 car with the 4100 V8!

[@ThisOldCarChannel]

Consumer guide tested. Thanks!

[@gregg9672]

Yes do a series for each yesr through 95 of slowest cars

[@justsumguy2u]

I can think of one slower than all of these; the '83 Cutlass Supreme V6 diesel. 86 hp and a curb weight of over 3,500 lbs. I drove one once; I don't think it could spin the rear tires if one were to floor it from a stop---on wet roads. Compared to that car, my '79 VW Rabbit (which was also slow, but not diesel) felt like a rocketship

[@sasz2107]

There was nothing the car companies could do about it. Fuel economy and emissions regulations forced the car companies to build cars this way, and the technology (fuel injection and better emissions controls) simply hadn't been developed or been improved upon yet - so we got what we got.

[@Sal_on_pawz]

My 2019 Equinox with a 170 hp goes 0-60 in 8 secs and car magazines diss it at " terrifying slow". It would be a rocket compared to anything in 1983. Even the Corvette would sweat.

[@Karoke77]

My 2021Dodge Challenger V6 seems like a race car (F-1) compared to those cars. Technology has really changed. I can merge and pass easily, yet have the sturdy, smooth ride of an 80s Cadillac or Lincoln Continental.

[@markjanfrancisco5156]

How about the 83 Lincoln Town Cars and the Mark 6's?😊

[@chrislemaster2695]

The Chevy Chevette or Citroen CV and it was called the 1983 AMC Renault Alliance (Renault9) in Europe was not chocked down with californa Emissions and these had 102HP in UK and Europe.

[@wolfgangiceclaw]

My grandfather had the Isuzu I-Mark diesel witch was basically the same car as the Chevy Chevette and that thing was dangerously slow.

[@bryantint1339]

The 1983 Oldsmobile Omega needed a standard Chevrolet 60 degree V6.

[@edmccandlish520]

Boca Brothers !!!!!! Another entertaining and informative profile. You guys NEVER disappoint !!!!!! My mom had a silver alliance back in the late 80's. One night someone poured gas over it and burned it to the ground behind her apartment building. Somebody did that thing a favor !!! 😂

[@ThisOldCarChannel]

Thank ya

[@michaelsphotography2529]

The diesel Chevette got 50 mpg. It could also roll coal.

[@danfriesen4417]

My 1983 Mustang GT clocked a 6.8 with absolutely zero traction in 1st and 2nd gear due to some old school "upgrades" 😂 ...no doubt could do well into the low 5 range with good traction

[@doubledrats235]

When I worked for NYC in the mid 80s we would sign out a Chevy Chevette from the depot downtown on Broadway if we needed to pick up a tape from the mainframe shop in Brooklyn. What a POS that car was! Department of Finance car number 232 would not drive straight ahead so you had to go a little left then a little right to stay in your lane. And it was a total slug. Sometimes we could borrow the assistant commissioner’s K-Car but that wasn’t much faster.