Top 4 Most Common Challenging Dementia Behaviors (and How to Handle Them)

Download 2 FREE dementia cheatsheets at this link: dementiasuccesspath.com/yt-cs
1- Activities Ideas
2- What to say/do for specific Challenging Behaviors
Thanks for watching! In this video I'll share the top 4 most common challenging dementia behaviors I've seen in activity therapy at a psychiatric hospital for primarily dementia patients and the best ways I've found success in tackling them.
Join our mini-series event starting May 17,2022 at 7:30pm EST Get 1 Win with 1 Challenging Behavior in 7 Days Experience.
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It is a week-long training experience with easy-to-follow steps to get 1 win with 1 challenging behavior so you can make caregiving easier (even if you're feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and at the end of your rope.)
Your 7 day experience will consist of:
20 minute Facebook LIVE trainings for 5 days on May 17, 18,19, 20, 22, 23 which you can attend live or watch the playback of later.
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A live Zoom workshop the following week available at two different times - 7:30 E.T. on Tuesday, May 24th or 7:30 E.T. on Thursday, May 26th - called “3 Ways to Make Challenging Dementia Behaviors Easier” where we’ll celebrate each others big & small wins, participate in role-plays, and answer any lingering questions (as long as you sign-up, playback will be available if you can’t make it live.)
Free printable cheat sheets that you can reference in a pinch to stop struggling and start living on your terms.
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0:00 Introduction
0:16 Top 4 Common Challenging Dementia Behaviors
1:03 Challenging Behavior Sundowning
1:47 1st Thing to Try: Prevention
3:04 Challenging Behavior "I Want to Go Home"
5:08 Challenging Behavior Accusations
7:25 Challenging Behavior Refusals

[@salehmalaeb4788]

My father has dimentia....when he gets angry i just simply tell him "i love you" and immediately he's very happy....we need to remember that they're still human and it is also very frusttrating for them too not just us and we ourselves could be one of them when we get old (hopefuly not)

[@sarahstrong7174]

If someone picks up something & it seems they are getting agressive with it, it sometimes can work to say "Oh great, you found the (whatever), thankyou for finding that, I am so glad" At that point they may just let you take it out of their hand, while you praise them for being so kind, thoughtfull & helpful. If not you may be able to continue on to distract by using the item to do whatever the item is intended to be used for together.

[@BasedPatriot403]

Wow - thank you. My father's dementia has progressed from mild to severe in the space of 2 months. We've been struggling with all of this, and trying to figure out how to handle it. This is exactly what I needed.

[@dementiasuccesspath2239]

I’m so glad!

[@rubyshoes3543]

Thank you so much for this, it is sooooo helpful! I wish I could find a care center that trains this way. It's tough watching people make fun of your loved one or lose patience with them. Still, I know it's an awfully tough job and I can't judge. It's just tough to see. Wonder if it would be worthwhile to have 2 or 4 hr rotations on and off of the dementia unit. Dementia behaviors are challenging and sad. My mother was terrified of her fate as I'm sure many people are.

[@howtubeable]

Thank you for your help.

[@suzanzimmermann460]

We took my client for a ride around the neighborhood and let her calm down. She was satisfied.

[@dementiasuccesspath2239]

That is a good strategy if you can do it. For sure helps folks now feel as trapped.

[@user-ci5si8jz5h]

Very good tips

[@Tootsie806]

You really make things clear.

[@ishouldbesleeping1354]

Your hair is so PERFECT on you today; KUDOS to your colorist and Stylist!

[@oldgloryhillfarmturtlewoma9132]

My Aunt loved fishing. We joked she would fish in a puddle after the rain. Didn’t care if she ever caught anything, it was just the act that soothed her soul after a long day of farm chores. My Grandma who was “senile”, would take my Aunts fishing license when she was angry with her, and it would turn up in the weirdest places. The pocket of the bathrobe hanging next to the shower, etc.

[@sarahstrong7174]

I love your flowers.

[@Dewii-qo2ed]

Great videos very helpful and educational 😂😅

[@BloodNote]

@5:30 This was a CONSTANT occurrence Every. Single. Day. My grandmother would actually find and take money and hide it and it would be uncontrollable anger issues. NOTHING we said to calm her down ever worked. I really wonder how people deal with this. She would be in this state for HOURS and I wondered how normal this was.

[@josmelser9869]

My oldest sister was in a care facility and her past job was a nurse. So the nurses there would let her take people’s pulses with them. That worked until she asked for her paycheck. So my one brother left a few checks made out to her but had void on them. They at that time had paper play money that looked real. For my husband who was doing that, I put dollar bills in his wallet and he was happy. Especially a man, he was strictly brought up the man is the provider. When he couldn’t drive anymore it was very hard especially since he did the majority of driving. He is 85 , so I told him that a new law was passed and anyone 85 & older could not legally drive anymore. Since I am 75, I told him in 10 years I wouldn’t be able as well. Well since it was a law, and he once worked for the federal government, it solved that problem. At our local Walmart, I put him in one of those shopping cars…ooh my, never again, he was all over that place with people moving out of the way. That was a dumb idea, so now he just pushes the cart for his exercise, and at the cashier’s, I would give him the card to pay. He likes that. When I put money in his wallet, I told him this is yours to pay for what you need. Well, after a week he left his wallet on a shelf & no longer carries it. I learned that they go through seasons, then it is over until a new one pops up.

[@josmelser9869]

I am 75 taking care of my husband is 85. I try to get him to go outside with me when it’s nice. He will refuse. I do get him to go to the store & push the cart as it helps him stay balanced, and ask him to pick out chips or fruit he would like. That helps, but yesterday he got very angry and wanted to sell the house. He said he would give me half as he wanted to travel or stay with his two children. We both lost our spouses 20 years ago when we got married. I was 55 and him 65, a very strong and vibrant. His dementia hit @ 80. It was hard as he wanted to drive still & couldn’t. He had gotten lost several times. As far as his children, he had just spent Thanksgiving with them giving me a break. He thought I was lying so I called his one son to talk to him & say to his dad he did spend Thanksgiving with them and that he came and picked him up. He told his son he wanted to travel and see different places. His son just asked him, what about your wife? With an answer she won’t go. He was up all night, lights on. And he wants me up. What do I do?

[@stevejohnson1321]

If he doesn't wander, one thing that helped in our house is separate spaces. I live downstairs from my Mom. If I've given her what she needs and she's being unreasonable, I just say "I'm heading downstairs." I'm lucky -- Mom calms down once she's in solitude. Once I've returned, Mom has forgotten all about it. Again, you can't do this if the individual wanders away. This is a tough time, because the man still has travel dreams but cannot possibly get himself there. Though you could mention that, reason usually doesn't work against dementia. Maybe bring up a different activity he can do right now. For Mom it's often an old Cary Grant movie. I wish I could be more help.

[@josmelser9869]

He flip flop in his dementia. He has settled down but has regressed now as a little child. Of course depending on me for everything. But one night I had enough and was so tired, I went into another bedroom, locked the door after telling him I’m going to bed. I felt guilty with the what if he gets hurt, etc. But to my amazement, I checked to where he was and it was in his bed. Nevertheless, I went back to our spare room and slept. It felt so good. The spare room was our master room but after he was released from the hospital and rehab (he had fallen) a hospital bed was put into another bedroom. I took the bedroom across from him in case he needed me. So that’s been my room. He had diarrhea for a day , oh boy….but it wasn’t him he said. Look what someone did. A stranger came in and did this. I started to say, no you…but he got very angry, so I just agreed with him. So he has no concept of reality. Fortunately there are on KZbin places to go to for dementia and their suggestions. Like going to bed, keep them busy during the day helping you. Of course, one has to go back & redo. They suggested from what jobs they had that they talk about, mention we got to get up very early to be at that job so we need to get some rest. That worked for me. Also an idea to have his son & daughter call and leave a message but make it like a real conversation. Then I would say your son wants to talk to you & I put it next to his ear & he would laugh & talk back to them. That helps whenever he says he hasn’t heard from his kids & they had called that day. He doesn’t know people in his family that have died, the program stated don’t tell them…they can’t process it. Don’t start off with, “don’t or do you remember?” Which I was doing. If they say this isn’t their home, don’t waste time & effort to show them they do live there. Just say, “would you help me take in these groceries to a friend?” That was my biggest headache and showing him papers with his name on it, etc. I got so frustrated, so these KZbin’s really help. I try to watch one a day. One night he hallucinated really bad, thought people were in the living room and had guns. My one son, going through a divorce was here for a while, so my husband went into his bedroom with a flashlight in his face to tell him. He was so good. He said, “ I know papa Ken, we called the police and they arrested them. So it’s safe now. You can go back to bed.” And he did. So the program said, don’t let them watch movies like western, etc, with guns or violence. So much to learn. My son handled it so perfectly, and with patience. I hope some of the things I learned help someone. But the KZbin videos on dementia really do help.

[@stevejohnson1321]

I'm afraid we all have bizarre stories. My Mom is 91, and kept trying to run away from her three days in rehab. She had no idea what town she was in, nor what direction to walk or run. All the doors have alarm, so she didn't succeed. I continually get told "this isn't my (her) house," even though Mom knows where all the silverware and light switches are. I'm in northeast U.S. The county has services that will come in if the patient is unruly or if I need three hours off to do errands. This has gone on six years, so I'm getting tempted.

[@suzanzimmermann460]

True

[@yvonnegill2155]

My auntie likes folding the laundry. Especially when it is warm from the dryer. She also has sundowners.

[@suzanzimmermann460]

Most are afraid of falling and we suggest sink bath. Introduce adult wipes for private areas.

[@brendadickenson3547]

Mom liked to do jigsaw puzzles. I had a neighbor who wondered out and up the street. Said he had to go home. So I got an guy next door who was outside please go walk with them and ran and got his wife who was cooking supper and went an got the car and asked him if he needed a ride. She told me he had wanted to go home all day, it seemed I thought I got past that, so she drove him around the neighborhood and back. HD was happy said I knew it supper time and didn't want to be late.

[@Billy_Bob101]

my wife is 58. the last 6 months she has been accusing me of cheating on her, stealing from her and seems to lose everything she touches. how do i get her to go to a doctor. she thinks its me not her. i am stressed, confused lonely and hurt. i dont know how to deal with it . she has become down right mean and vicious. isnt 58 young for this?

[@dementiasuccesspath2239]

I have a video on here specifically about accusations. 58 is really young but I’ve seen it before. If you haven’t already, getting a doc to evaluate her even over Telehealth will give you a better answer. If she does have dementia, showing evidence, using logic etc is pointless. Usually the person that is there becomes the target of anger/accusations sadly. As far as stealing things, acknowledging her feelings of fear and offering to help look sometimes work. If she’s really convinced it was you specifically I would then sub someone else in if that possible or say, ok do you want help or to be left alone? Usually if they are really pissed and convinced it’s you then they will say leave me alone. Usually, the anger passes after 30 min to an hour of not being fed and you can come back and rinse and repeat the acknowledging feelings and offering to help with better results

[@dementiasuccesspath2239]

As far as the cheating delusion goes, subbing in someone else or leaving her alone is pretty much the only option until this passes just because it’s too emotionally hard on the spouse to not keep feeding into it (ie I would never cheat bahaha which sadly makes them dig in their heels more). The fear usually passes but this one takes a bit longer to pass sadly.

[@Billy_Bob101]

@@dementiasuccesspath2239 thanks

[@Billy_Bob101]

@@dementiasuccesspath2239 thanks

[@tinaoom]

not sure if you will see this, but i hope you’re doing okay. i can only imagine how difficult that must be…

[@suzanzimmermann460]

And do not leave your items or car keys around for them to pocket.

[@dementiasuccesspath2239]

100%

[@moyamontgomery1468]

I have noticed in recent months that my brother is very interested in my keys and phone. I keep them close. He is planning an escape from his care home. He kept asking me to bring more money. He wanted new clothes. Then he asked me to take him to buy a van he could live in. It didn’t take much to figure out his plan.

[@user-ov4wr5yu4r]

He probably would rather live in the van, but if his health doesn't allow..... I pray I will not end up this way.

[@suzanzimmermann460]

I always give them a safe place to hide her purse. And we do this together.

[@dementiasuccesspath2239]

That is really smart I love that!