MEETING YOUR INLAWS FOR THE FIRST TIME | TOSIN ALABI

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[@oluwaseyiowa5346]

My marriage would be 2 years in September and I am lucky to have the most amazing in-law, she stays in our house for months sometimes and we have never had any misunderstanding. The things that helped: my husband ALWAYS speak highly of me to his family and anyone that cares to listen, from the way he talks about and treats me, you would know he’s ready to fight anyone that stresses me. Secondly, be nice, it doesn’t cost a thing. Whenever my mother in-law is here, I try to engage her, like help her brush her wig, pick her outfits/jewelries for church, I ask her to help my wash/retouch my hair. Basically I treat her like my mother. As you said, boundaries, I give her her space and respect her ways of doing things even in my house and she does same. I avoid any altercation. Again I am very lucky, and she says I am also very good and easy going, so I guess that’s why we clicked. Stay blessed Tosin

[@godwinejiofor8064]

Oluwaseyi you have said it all your husband has done all the work for believe me when inlaw knows that there is nothing you can say about their sons wife to their son that will sell they will respect them and they dont have choice. As for the respect my sister you are very lucky. Do you know that there are some inlaws that even if pluck your eyes to them they won't like you and the problem at times is just selfishness and this is common among inlaws that depend on their son I believe poverty is also the cause of all these feuds between daughter inlaws and husbands family.

[@UncommonGift]

Tosin this is such great advice! I’m a British born Nigerian and got married 3 years ago to my amazing husband. My in-laws are traditional Nigerian in-laws and I really wasn’t prepared. The amount of tears I cried in the early days was unbelievable. I really struggled, I thought I was gong to go mad. I wish I had this advice then! Praise God things are much better now. I’ve learnt and grown through the experience. I’m still learning and growing everyday. I always thought I would marry an oyinbo as I didn’t want to deal with the Nigerian in-law drama as I didn’t think I was built for it. The Lord had other plans though, and His plans supersede my own ☺️. He gives you strength and grace to endure x

[@YemiAyodeji]

I am married now and I honestly wished I had this kind of video to watch while preparing for inlaw relationship. I had so much confidence in my personality that I felt we would get along well. One major mistake I made was not setting boundaries and also not maintaining a unified front with my spouse. Eventually, I started applying wisdom and I feel the difference now. All these tips would have saved unnecessary drama in my first year of marriage, (I got married at 24). I also believe these would also help to maintain a healthy relationship even beyond meeting them. Well done Tosin. I love you and as always, may the wisdom of God never depart from you. 😊👍

[@YemiAyodeji]

I just realized the mistake 😆👍

[@YemiAyodeji]

@@TosinAlabi Edited😊👍

[@TosinAlabi]

Excellent, thank you so much!!

[@ChiagoziemEzeigwe]

My boyfriend and I heading home to see his mum and this would be the first time I'd be meeting her... 🙈.. thank you so much for the tips Tosin♥️♥️♥️

[@Zestsuli89]

I love this video. The one point that stood out to me is boundaries(that is so wise) and the second of being prayerful. I have felt led to pray for my inlaws for years now even though I am single as a pringle but whenever I pray for my future marriage I also pray for the family I will one day marry into. Family is so important to me and I would never want a situation where I am treated horribly or even be the reason for the distance in a family.

[@HephzibahFrances]

Zesuliwe Zondo you should get the prayers for your future husband book then. It contains prayers for your future in-laws too www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B07CHWS4LX/ref=dbs_a_w_dp_b07chws4lx

[@femitoyoo]

Tosin, I’m not even done with the video yet but I just needed to take a pause to say I love you!!

[@femitoyoo]

My dad gave me a speech this morning on “How to manage my in-laws” (I’m currently single and living with my parents btw), so imagine my surprise when I saw this video, especially as it’s unlike your conventional videos. Thank you so much for making this. You said many of the things my dad said, but in a more relatable way. I hope for wonderful in-laws by God’s grace, and thank you so much for the pointers, I’m sure they’d come in handy. Throughout the video, I felt like a big sister was giving me advice, I also love that I caught all the references to your old videos. God bless you and your family 💛

[@onyiakile9124]

"Aunty, Gimme cake top" knocked me out 🤣Thanks for this. Will come in handy for me. My wedding is December and I'm meeting my in laws when I visit naija, after COVID 🤦‍♀️

[@BarbysDiary]

Hello Tosin. I must really appreciate you for your honest take on issues. I'm grateful for really nice inlaws especially because my hubs family is a large one (11 children, same mother and father), my hubs is the lastborn and it is an inter-tribal marriage. Navigating my way was pretty easy despite all these bottlenecks, for instance before my first visit, l learnt how to greet in the native language because it is BIG for their tribe and they were so impressed, l haven't stopped since then and l intend to teach our kids this greeting too. Like you said, there's no need to come battle ready, pray, maintain a good relationship and set boundaries...these are what has helped me and is still helping me. I love them so much and the feeling is mutual. I could write about them and not stop, but l feel sad for people experiencing bad relationships with their inlaws. May God help us all.

[@chidinmaobj]

I enjoyed this video as usual. My Mother-in-law to be is easy going, zero stress, prays for and dotes on me like she does all her children! I consider myself privileged because considering that my mum has gone to be with the Lord, I cannot imagine having in-law woes. I love love the delivery of your videos 🤛

[@AramideLoisOsho]

This is so valuable. I’m glad you talked about this at this time. I’ll be meeting my finance’s parents for the first time in a few months, in the week of my wedding. I’ve been speaking with them on phone and we’ve been getting along so far but I’ve only imagined meeting them in person. These tips are helpful. God bless you.

[@FaithMartins]

watching this with bae at the other end of the phone. he saw me taking down your points and said im really listening. God bless you for this

[@tarahs9917]

@tosinalabi, thank you so much for this video. Although I am not married yet but I have learnt something tangible and definitely adding this to my playlist for future. I learnt about being prayerful, flexible but not pretending and discerning.

[@msuurscorner3554]

I screamed when you said put onion by the door 🤣😂. This video is amazing thank you for putting it together.

[@Yourfavoritecheerleader]

Tosin, I love your hair and most importantly your videos, you definitely impact a lot of wisdom in your videos and I sincerely appreciate it...I'm not married yet, but I definitely taking notes and might come back to this video when I will be meeting my future husband's people. Stay safe, sis

[@hildasampson]

Very educative video, Tosin. Thanks for sharing. I like that you made the distinction clear that in being yourself, it doesn't mean you should go there and show all your weaknesses or "bad traits" all in the name of being yourself. Wisdom is profitable to direct. God richly bless you always x

[@shalewasspace6757]

Hmmm I think my experience was good but I was nervous even after praying and then it turned out that there was a problem with how I knelt to greet his mum ...I didn't know my knees were to touch the ground completely lol still looking forward to meeting her again and correcting that hopefully

[@loisy2141]

Notification Gang 💃💃. Let me watch I know this would be very helpful. Thank u Tosin ❤

[@TosinAlabi]

Yay! Thanks so much for watching I hope you enjoy ♥️♥️

[@jennylove3168]

I actually searched then stumbled on this video. I have been communicating with my in-laws to be over the phone and in two weeks time I will be meeting with them for the first time. It gets me nervous but after watching, I think I feel better and more confident. Thanks very much and I pray God see me through. Thanks for the Bible quotations too.

[@BlissfulBlessedZ]

It is always a pleasure and delight to watch your videos. So much wisdom and very insightful. Taking notes right now.

[@Cheryltheresa]

Tosin! You have spoken so well. Boundaries are so important. Can't stress that enough. Also not putting up a front for in-laws to like you... you can only pretend for so long before you start to get miserable and frustrated. This was a brilliant video. :-)

[@nneuche6821]

Exactly respect them by their own belief of respect, my sister in law has onions by her door because my mom said she should.... even me her daughter didn’t do this! 😂😂😂😂

[@ayowadeadeleye]

Thank you so much for this video, it was so enlightening! I've been thinking of what scripture to use when praying about my future in laws. Thank you for the one you shared!

[@florencekuye]

Hello Tosin. I just discovered your channel yesterday and have watched a lot of your videos. You are such an inspiration. I have been married for 25 years this year. I totally agree with everything. God first.

[@Mariayewande5679]

I am learning so much from you! God! You are just blessing. I can’t deal how much you are teaching me. I just love your explanations, your sincerity. You don’t hold back and it shows. Thank God for you! I can really see me watching and learning from you in the future. Part of my journey already. ☺️❤️

[@apajinwukabujanelle7731]

Mama T you are a blessing to this generation....Timely advice

[@emeekanem4220]

I loved this video. I love how real you are. Thanks for the tips. When the time comes i'll sure out them to good use. Btw,the no jewellry, long skirt part and something top part took me out 😂😂😂. Hilarious. Kudos Tosin

[@ogundipeeniola]

I always know I’m about to learn something when I watch your videos ❤️ thank you so much

[@chidinmaeokpara]

Thank you Tosin. You're the best! God bless you for this video. Love you 💞💞

[@taiwomayokun3685]

I just love this great woman, you're a blessing Ma, God bless you and your family

[@Dupesvlog]

Came back to watch again because the wisdom in thos video is timeless ❤️

[@somoluseyitan7391]

You just earned a follower with this video. You just taught me what to do when meeting my in-laws

[@taiwolawal6934]

Thank you Tosin. There is so much wisdom in this video.

[@yemi5193]

Thanks for this video. Very informative as usual. I’m also of the mindset to be positive and always approach anything that concerns me in a positive manner. I believe so much in the law of attraction. Attracting what you put out there. I’ve learnt so much from this video from being myself but not overly too out there but discerning to respecting and showing love to my in laws to be as I would my parents.

[@ShammahUna]

Anything you can do to eliminate in-law drama, do it. Don’t put on a facade. Wisdom 👍 Great content as usual. Taking notes for when I meet mine by Gods Grace

[@funmilolaolowokere5577]

Hii sis, I just stumbled upon this video and it's sooo helpful, I had to pause for a minute to subscribe. I'm meeting my Mother in law in a few weeks and i still feel a tinge of nervousness but thanks a lot for the tips, I'd definitely put them to use. Btw, your hair is beautiful ❤️

[@bdoye4021]

Hahaa she said 'I have home training now" That is key👌. Good home training,manners,& be loving. That chatta box thing, so true of yoruba parent, they don't appreciate when you talk too much and appear too forward.

[@kehindeadeyemo9253]

You are an inspiration Tosin. May God continue to bless you

[@busolafriday]

Thank you for the insightful tips ❤️❤️❤️ and you look amazing!

[@Just_Mishi]

I thank God for the day I came across your KZbin page. You are really heaven sent.

[@Peace_adeola]

Wisdom lives here. Thank you 🧡

[@kayadeyemi1059]

you said it all where must people get it wrong is not keeping boundaries over familiarity breeds content.... one thing I never did is taking our misunderstanding to my in-laws or my parent, trust me that way you are buying respect for you and your spouse. Thanks Tosin you did justice to the topic.

[@gbubemiatake4375]

This is really really enlightning. Thank you for this🙌🙌

[@chelracee1581]

Ehhh Tosin!! You are indeed inspired by God in your content! This is going to be my situation soon! I like the topic!

[@victoriakojusola2760]

😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃. You are so Blessed sis. Wisdom is speaking in you. I love you already. This is your first video I'm seeing.

[@triciatrish8969]

Thank you aunty Tosin, this's very informative and useful. I'm learning I pick alot from this

[@rubyazaletey]

Aah Aah Tosin!! Too much wisdom Ma. This video was really profitable to me especially as i am soon to be married. After meeting my soon to be in laws months ago i must admit i haven't done well with keeping the relationship open and so right in the middle i stopped and called my mum in law to be just to say hello and ask how she was doing. Hmmmm...i can't believe how excited and grateful she was that i called and she started blessing me. Just an act of calling got to Her so much... Wisdom is indeed profitable. God bless you Tosin!! ❤

[@theladyheritage]

Thank you so much for this videos and your wise words, I am single but will surely take these words to heart till when it is needed. Pretense isn't good, just be yourself.

[@kemiariyibi1899]

Thank you Tosin for your wonderful words of wisdom, I’m still single as a Pringle and believing God for my husband but this as taught me one or two things. Stay blessed ☺️

[@eunicenkweto3354]

I'm so glad I came across your video👏 it's been really helpful. Thank you for sharing❤

[@simiohh]

😂😂 at “don’t go there and be doing na me fine pass, na me choose your pikin”

[@omgitsnishaaa]

u are a wise lady Tosin! may the Good Lord keep you and your family! strength by strength. God bless u

[@Ejeomah]

Wow the video I never thought I would need 🙌🏽👌thank you 👌

[@ekenemadigwe5087]

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby girl. God bless her

[@SenaTreasureDaily]

This is so helpful, I know I'll definitely get to the point of meeting my in-laws. I'll keep this advice safe till then

[@makalesacko2701]

You said it all sis ❤️❤️💕💕💕

[@TheSavedWoman]

Tosin said "onion at the door"...Hahaha, loved this video! and I've found it very helpful! God bless you! I really found the respect bit very eyeopening, respecting them in the way they understand... Sorry for your loss too! God bless you.

[@TheSavedWoman]

Sorry for your loss too! God bless you.

[@dominiongideon707]

You're just the best

[@dupeadeyanju2970]

Thanks for sharing boundaries and respect is very important

[@queencoolgamer7670]

Tosin wise viedo... Thanks... Prayer and attitude is the key....

[@Sinmi100]

Thank you sis Tosin!

[@oyinkansolaakinnusi8557]

Wow.....very insightful. .Thank you Mrs Tosin...

[@omololaoladimeji3618]

Well done my dear Tosin for being real regarding culture especially in Yorubaland where you bend when you greet an elderly person.May your marriage continue to flourish from glory to glory in JN Amen. I admire you so much. May God continue to increase your Godly wisdom in JN Amen. You&your husband will live long&enjoy your children's success in JN Amen. Stay blessed for ever Amen.

[@omogeyemisi]

Wonderful content, I learnt a lot.🙌🙌

[@oreoluwasowunmi]

So apt ! Thank you so much . Don't pretend to be who you're not just to please them

[@zestwoman]

Love you Tosin....love all your video's.

[@nobleblessing1077]

Thanks for always being a beautiful motivational speaker, truth been said, it hurt when in laws expect the daughter in laws to be 💯% perfect. Anyway i quiet agree with you that be yourself and be prayerful. Thing's will definitely goes well if any daughter in laws knows their boundaries. May God help us all...Thanks for the videos

[@onwuliriedel-jane6427]

I love you already, I enjoyed your video and it will be quite helpful when the time comes. Thank you.

[@annabelsogbesan1114]

Blessed you ... this is beautiful message

[@aderojubukola7634]

Thank you Tosin❤

[@NaomeeOboyi]

Thanks for sharing this. This will be very helpful ❤️

[@TheIganya]

I wish I had this video earlier. There are a number of mistakes I made already. Trusting God for His perfect timing and praying a lot more now. This is quality stuff.

[@Ibochic1]

Pray about it... The Lord can change situations if only we pray. God bless your marriage. ❤️

[@ajisih1924]

'"Aunty give me cake top" cracked me up. Im not even close to marriage but this video is very very informative. Thank you so much

[@sarahola2828]

The Ever Beautiful Tosin! Your voice is so soothing.

[@beeojeiks6516]

WOw, onions by the door :D love it.

[@faithnoricah.2283]

Notification. Let me watch now.

[@adeolaaderemi541]

i really enjoyed watching your video.

[@sommywonderglobal]

Thank you for this video. I enjoyed it ma.

[@OluwapelumiAriyibi]

Thanks ma this was very helpful. I learnt a lot.

[@toluolowookere6113]

Hilarious!!!!! But so much to learn from. Tosin which one is "aunty gimme cake top"😂😂

[@TosinAlabi]

😂😂😂

[@bisolaola9557]

Great lesson 👍🏻

[@Foodunthego]

Thank you for this video content I have learnt a lot for future reference let me I live in the UK ok and the guy I'm currently seeing lives in Nigeria and I'm just worried about meetings family my mum knows his mum and she said that they were nice people but but I'm just worried they won't like me I'll just pray about it it is thank you for giving me insight

[@funkeschannel2356]

Whaoo it’s so sad hearing about father-in-laws wahala This was so enlightening I cant emphasize on the word be yourself and be and be prayerful 🥰🥰🥰🥰 Thank u for this

[@adelekemary5014]

Thank you for this. Once be discerning and praying but there heart before God

[@temilolawonder8416]

Don’t go there and be doing na me fine pass 😂 😂😂😂. Wisdom as always, Thank you.

[@Ella_Babygirl]

Thanks so much for the video

[@BestofJuliet]

Nice one tosin. Keep it up

[@otaekhomu1864]

Always hitting the nail😘.

[@beeojeiks6516]

Beautiful girl, inside out. Definitely wife material. Great points and way wise beyond your years. Your mother raised you well.

[@christinenamatovu1984]

very well said much love

[@faithnoricah.2283]

Very informative video. Thank you for sharing.

[@definitelyhandy8613]

I've been thinking of asking you for basic cultural must knows in the Yoruba culture. Being a South African (Zulu) to marry into a 'traditional' Yoruba family. Thank you I am armoured 😀. Much love

[@omojuibukunoluwa]

Thanks for sharing. I really alot for this video

[@ogundipeeniola]

Yaay

[@piselasjournal]

I enjoyed this video..

[@funmiboluwade1981]

It's been a long while Sis,,I hope you and yours are doing well,pls stay safe ,We miss you on KZbin.. awaiting a video soooon

[@abbasbisi2931]

Well done sis

[@rosemairemiles5550]

Hi thanks for your information. I want to asked you what you used in your hair?

[@simiohh]

This video is cracking me up so much. Don’t be a chatterbox lol. Love your frankness.

[@marya.8087]

Thanks for sharing ma'am.

[@princesslolly6838]

Interesting and useful 👍👌

[@glosbeautyworld]

Is it right for one to sleep over when visiting your potential mother inlaw for the first time ?? Though she wants me to sleep over, what are the things not to do or do please