tour of my art books (part 1)

Sorry for the stop-n-go rambling, I will try to articulate my thoughts a bit better in the next video lol. I really want to do these artists and their works justice, they are all very good.
ps: there's a quote i mention at 10:12 regarding the subjectivity of history saying i'll get to it soon but I wound up not getting to that book. i will make sure to include it in the next video because it is quite interesting to me.
Books mentioned:
The Art of Andrew Wyeth: www.amazon.com/Art-Andrew-Wye...
Zdzisław Beksiński: www.ebay.com/itm/224190099142...
Ken Currie: Details of a Journey: www.amazon.com/Ken-Currie-Dr-...
Scorn: The Art of the Game: www.amazon.com/Scorn-Art-Game...
Anime Architecture: Imagined Worlds and Endless Megacities: www.amazon.com/Anime-Architec...
Life Wants to Live: Phil Hale: secure.grantbooks.com/product...
Alfred Kubin: Confessions of a Tortured Soul: www.amazon.com/Confessions-To...
Music:
/ xqygp8d6kfcndwfj6

[@saviorcompl3x]

you really just have an ominous noise in ur house all the time huh 😭😭

[@thesilentcomposer1278]

I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME

[@saviorcompl3x]

OH MY GOD YOU PINNED MY COMMENT

[@ayoma8798]

Anyone else think it kinda sounds like the ambience from Five Nights at Freddy's? Anyways ily meemaw

[@meichineilson2294]

Lynchian youtube sketchbook tour

[@weedthief69]

i think the song in the background (if thats what ur talking abt) is an ambient song she wrote

[@memoriam.victoriam]

i love this its like my cool big sister finally let me in her room

[@mirabelarmstrong8518]

I was abt to comment something just like this lol

[@worldeater10]

no bc this is exactly how it feels

[@Kiara.step-daughter]

yess

[@kaleidoscopia_]

NO YOU ACTUALLY RIGHT

[@belsku]

literally

[@MissSunTonic]

What a day to be an Ethel Cain fan and an art major

[@antlerbraum2881]

Same fr

[@queerpeopleinthehouse3294]

Literally

[@jameslamontagne784]

SAME!!

[@kenna942]

PERIODDD

[@koikun]

here!

[@bluehour386]

never seen an artist so connected and willing to share their interests like this, we really appreciate it

[@Nai911]

it's amazing honestly, this world needs this

[@chadwagoner7056]

Beg for attention

[@bluehour386]

@@chadwagoner7056 ??? It was a genuine compliment i dont care if she see it or not what do you mean by this

[@katnissgayverdeen]

Mothers voice is like ASMR. So soothing. So excited to watch this.

[@loosegarment]

this is about to be the best 50 minutes of my life

[@antlerbraum2881]

I love art books

[@chadwagoner7056]

Really?

[@doomerdear]

The ambiance track really fits the nightmarish art work discussions. Imagine if Ethel Cain did horror ambiance tracks too, would die. Literally.

[@furby2720]

housofpsychoticwomn?

[@doomerdear]

The ambient track IS Ethel Cain. Omg

[@chadwagoner7056]

This is so pathetic. You beg for your shot at being acknowledged.

[@figuenoire]

Hi Ethel, I'm really happy you like the work of Beskinski! He's from Poland (my home country). Just a small correction referring to what you said: he didn't fight in war, he was born in 1929 so he was 7-16 years old when the war happened. He was a boy during WWII and lived most of his life during the communist era in Poland, and the atmosphere of that time might be reflected in some of his paintings. It's important to know that he always insisted he doesn't use symbolism in his work and the things he paints don't have any "hidden meaning" behind them. He was initially an engineer, then a photographer and later taught himself to paint when he was around 30. If you ever visit Poland you can see his works in museum in Sanok(his birthplace) or in Warsaw (Muzeum Archidiecezji Warszawskiej).

[@mothercain]

oh interesting, thank you!! i must have read something wrong haha. i very much hope to visit poland someday, i’d love to see his works in person :’)

[@YuqiOlczyk]

@@mothercain COME TO POLAND PLEASEEE ♥️♥️♥️

[@golevka]

thank you for the insight Alex, I have always loved the overwhelmingly foreboding feeling of beskinski and it's interesting to hear that he was purely expression himself without any focus on a specific theme

[@kekoxoxo]

she's so wellspoken and sounds so calm and relaxing..... can't believe she wrote ptolomaea

[@tshypooooo]

imo she’s exactly the kind of woman that WOULD write a song like Ptolemaea and I absolutely adore that about her

[@kekoxoxo]

@@tshypooooo no wait i see the vision you're absolutely right

[@chadwagoner7056]

pTolemy is a Biblical character you obviously know little about. Go to your Google search before you answer so you look so idiotic.

[@hm397719]

“It’s one thing to be hurt but it’s another thing to be hurt and forgotten” Ethel you kill me i love you

[@Null257]

I read this comment at the exact moment it was said.

[@faeshotton463]

“Sometimes i just do k*tamine and just lie in bed and read” i love her

[@Moonlight-mz7mu]

Thats not cute yall are weird

[@faeshotton463]

Mind ur business

[@rebornrosess]

listening to people infodump about things they're passionate about is so comforting. :) will be listening to this while i hang up some thrifted picture frames!

[@chadwagoner7056]

Find your own life

[@greenonionbabey]

​@@chadwagoner7056I think you need to heed your own advice bro 😭😭😭

[@annaw.7504]

@@chadwagoner7056teenagers ruin everything my god

[@Gaidiprimes]

If she made a podcast id be listening to it all day

[@fayephos]

zdzisław beksiński being on this list makes so much sense. both his work and ethel's discography is so so hauntingly beautiful.

[@chadwagoner7056]

Are, not is. Get a reality check

[@Ploist]

@@chadwagoner7056 just a grammar issue.

[@elsieegrace]

her liking beksiński is so correct

[@nextlevelgio]

this just feels so cozy and warm, i hope you know how loved you are by all of the children of cain. please post more content like this!! love you forever meemaw

[@Clitdick2000]

YES

[@nextlevelgio]

@@GreenMayoMan69_ perfect! just made a correction

[@tobygurd8752]

@@GreenMayoMan69_ its very much daughters of cain. Daughters, in this regard, is inclusive of everyone. I go by he/him pronouns, but consider myself a daughter of cain...I get wanting to feel part of the fanbase, but the name is definitly inclusive. Daughters of Cain is for everyone! Children just doesnt hit the same :((

[@ayodeledavid3034]

@@tobygurd8752nigga what

[@taylorflopera]

I love seeing this side of an artist. The haunting dark themes all come together

[@chadwagoner7056]

UGH!

[@Speaking4lines]

same

[@brubeck1]

artist..hmm

[@junaidahmad5428]

Her sentence goes on and on but her train of thought never break. Her intuition is quite strong.

[@chadwagoner7056]

Glad you have such a connection with others. Rolling eyes.

[@crispyburgas7163]

literally what are you doing when you reply to several comments with this obnoxious tone, leave loser@@chadwagoner7056

[@SinthetikLED]

Could we please get more of these? You taste in art is so good I’d love to see your book, music, movie, and video game collection!

[@mirroredhour]

I need to hear her talk more about anime tbh

[@chadwagoner7056]

Video Game???? UGH. This is ... I give up

[@SinthetikLED]

@@chadwagoner7056 yes video games???? She literally has a whole ass stack of them behind her???? Are you ok????

[@AnotherParamoreFan]

Ignore him! This Chad guy had posted several comments just complaint about other people’s comments. I don’t know why he’s here!

[@jovianjune]

43:43 i really like this part about being surrounded by scary creatures that don't pay attention to you as being scarier! i feel like as a person who has been very isolated from/rejected by my peers for a long part of my life, it would have been almost preferable for my peers to bully me rather than ignore me? because at least if they were directly giving me a hard time, i would have a goal or a way to escape it or fight against it or whatever, but you can't punch away loneliness. when you grow up and think back about it, it feels really hard to resolve, in a way, because you can't really blame them for not being interested in you. there's no clear enemy to "blame", there's just you and all this time you had to spend alone. i just thought it was a very interesting perspective about how feeling invisible could be represented through art (:

[@witchingbrew3]

Pro tip on the any Mexican soda or Cola. Put it in the freezer for 20 minutes. Part of the end gets slushy and frosty. It's sooo good. Also, could be the reason you like Mexican Cola more than regular is because they use sugar cane natural sugar. So it's made a bit differently.

[@bruce-le-smith]

that natural sugar cane makes all the difference

[@ashernelson9669]

We love you!!! We need a Preacher’s Daughter vinyl!!!

[@chadwagoner7056]

Fucking clingy

[@nursemain3174]

Ethel not only is your music beautiful but you’re so magnetic to watch and your art education is phenomenal

[@chadwagoner7056]

She stated clearly that she had no education in art. Cling-on

[@knuckleveIvet]

@@chadwagoner7056education can be self taught and she is in fact educating people? ur so annoying

[@greenonionbabey]

​@chadwagoner7056 screaming over you replying to seemingly every single comment telling people they're just begging for attention or calling then stupid or whatever....... baby look in the mirror

[@bandsandbooks6133]

this is so soothing, I love hearing people talk about the things they love!

[@ravenfrae5895]

Something about this feels so extremely comforting and warm. No pressure to present a certain way, no formalities, just existence. Thank you for introducing me to the world of art in a simplistic, easy way to comprehend~ much love meemaw 💜

[@persephone6457]

I love how you’re sharing us more of what you like and what you’re interests are in art and paintings. You feel like such a sweet girl Hayden.

[@iJD124]

This is the type of content I'd love to see a part 2 of, seriously. I find myself coming back to this video all the time cause it's so fascinating and low-key relaxing and the fact that it all implies a second part is leaving us hanging lol Whenever you get the time it'd be really cool to follow up on this cause I'm so invested!

[@d4mpire3598]

I haven’t posted a yt comment in years but just listening to you describe art you care about has inspired me so much and I’ve actually picked up my paint brush for the first time in a long time. You are truly such a gift to the earth. 💖💖💖

[@clearlakeproductions]

It's always intresting to see an artist pick apart and let you in on things they're into.

[@ariel7222]

I was so excited when you pulled out the Beksiński collection, his work is just so interesting to look at. You might enjoy Leonora Carrington's art too. Her work is considered surrealist although I don't believe she ever considered herself to be a surrealist painter during her life. I can't find a source for that but I was deep into her work in highschool and remember hearing it somewhere. She's my absolute favorite artist of all time, her work is so fascinating. I think it's definitely in the realm of alien and otherworldly type stuff. So incredible.

[@zonk35]

All I want is for all my favorite artists to be this candid. I know I’m not entitled to it, but it is such a treat seeing into the raw inspirations behind the music. Love you, praise you, Ethel Cain

[@bunnyfrosting1744]

Needed proof that all this relentless pain is worth it, and you delivered fruitfully

[@chadwagoner7056]

Begger

[@luvmufvin5752]

I love this video so much, an artist talking about art in a different medium and seeing how that parallels her artistic expression is so cool!

[@thesilentcomposer1278]

her voice is so calming and nice

[@senajay.]

Bless you for putting me on to Andrew Wyeth, I love his work. I can’t really put into words what his pieces make me feel, it’s magical.

[@abbys5133]

love getting these intimate glimpses into your room and mind!! thank you so much for sharing 🫶

[@hillaryr2627]

Your Tumblr account is already so inspiring but hearing you talk so openly about your thoughts and what you love is such a gift. Thank you, Hayden 🖤

[@ellafuller226]

these types of videos are so comforting to me and the fact that it’s hayden makes it so much better

[@hopehurley1151]

I love hearing how you describe things, particularly your fears and nightmares.

[@jewelhuxley6649]

I could seriously listen to you talk about your favourite art/artists all day long. Would adore seeing more vids like this ❤️

[@dariusoprea5741]

a video game collection vid would be so fun I d love to see what games inspire you and formed your storytelling!

[@chadwagoner7056]

I just threw up a little.

[@zombiesun44]

This was unintended ASMR. I did art the entire time while listening to you talk about artists that interested you. I love the way you explain how and why things mean to you. I really hope you post more video like this.

[@chadwagoner7056]

Find yourself

[@oliviawren152]

you have a very advanced sense of the through lines that weave all these different artists together. Thank you for the recommendations meemaw ❤

[@dirtycelinefrenchman]

I enjoyed this a lot. I was into the third year of a music project when an ear injury forced me to not only abandon the project but music listening entirely. After a few dark months I started getting into modern art and writing and finding fresh inspiration. This pulled me out of the abyss. I still miss music terribly but this video reminded me of the inherent connection between music, art and literature and how one can channel the inspiration from one medium into another. They’re really not so different, in a creative and spiritual sense. Sounds, colours, words. Hearing, seeing, translating perceptions into language. It’s important not to limit yourself. There’s inspiration everywhere and hidden depths waiting to be discovered, if only you fine-tune your senses and dial in your perceptual apparatus. It is a matter not just of art but is the essence of life.

[@cristianpeck877]

You are truly an icon! I hope in the future you will preform at award shows!! You deserve all of the awards❤️❤️

[@maaniac]

Perfect thing to end my day with. Feels good to see you after so long. Love you mother!

[@arcanaandtheimaginarians]

Mother's voice is so soothing 🥺💕✨ istg there's always an ominous ambience and I'm here for it.

[@witchintherain]

This video was so comforting but also so captivating. Really love the way you talk about different artists, excited to see part 2. I've never explored art before but now I'm definitely going to visit my local library and browse the art section! You've inspired me, thank you for your content 🫶

[@paulaalonso5573]

Thank you for sharing with us your collection. This feels so special and intimate and I really truly appreciate you taking the time to do it. I struggle finding people around me who are willing to listen or speak about more “obscure” art or not as mainstream media because i come from a very small town in spain. love you 💚🤎

[@hihello-7396]

literal unintentional asmr queen

[@malachismith6444]

I’ve genuinely never felt more connected to an artist in my life. Thank you for being you.

[@Iggmundpopp]

Hearing Ethel speak about her dream was truly fascinating, it actually quite reminded my of a dream I once had despite the similarities being liminal. I've always loved talking about dreams but it's difficult because I've never really met someone that thinks the same way.

[@idkwhatimdoing9233]

i wish i had a mind like hers, she gets me in a way i never saw, but she manages to amplify those thoughts and deepen in a beautiful way

[@highatthebeach]

your description of being in a place where everything is frightening, but nothing is out to get you, resonates with me deeply. there's a lot of emptiness in that.

[@jenniferwilson2746]

I for one love the stop n go rambling, this is fascinating, please do more soon 🙂🥰

[@jamesmurry5910]

Just ran into her Music and it’s some of the best stuff I’ve heard in recent memory. This woman is mesmerizing in every way.

[@72631]

your thoughts on horror are so interesting. it's like you explained thoughts+feelings that I didn't even know I had

[@boredboard8508]

I am so happy you posted this, I was in the Instagram live where you talked about different books you owned and liked and I couldn't find a recording of it to rewatch. Thanks!

[@tjlaxton5570]

Keep coming back to this, you’re voice is so calming. Could listen to you talk for hours. 🫶🏻

[@danaea2069]

WE NEED A DVD/ VHS TOUR PLEASE

[@majcia9636]

I could listen to you for hours its like finally someone with a ruminative mind I love you so so much

[@leftoutside]

could listen to you speak for ages your voice is so nice and you’re genuinely so well spoken can’t wait for a part 2 🤍

[@creepy5245]

Please continue these kinds of videos this was very comforting and I love the art

[@IndieRider111]

I majored in art history but since leaving uni I haven't met many people that talk about art so thanks❤

[@jane6062]

I didn’t expect to enjoy this as much as I did! every artist astounded me when I looked them up. thank you so much for sharing

[@sarahcayron2227]

Love the painting of Andrew Wyeth, Christina's world on your wall. One of my favorite painting 🖤

[@junlucas69]

I probably wouldn't understand most of what she's saying but this is so relaxing and it's Hayden talking passionately about books and art. ❤

[@grimtheghastly8878]

Listening to you and Ghost has given me the inspiration and the push I needed to start writing again

[@underworldly]

Yessss ! Write that book !!! Release your written world unto the earth for all to sink their teeth into ♥️

[@chadwagoner7056]

Ghost?! I JUST explained why Ghost is the 2020 KISS. Pathetic.

[@grimtheghastly8878]

@@chadwagoner7056 if you don't like the band or my comment you could have kept scrolling. It costs zero dollars and zero cents to mind your own damn business 🙄

[@cannibalbunny]

Isn’t Ghost Satanic tho

[@haveyouacceptedjesusasyour5696]

I love seeing the art that inspires you Hayden. Thank you ❤

[@iswimmi8915]

Absolutely love Scorn and the way they handle body horror!! Super excited to see more of your art books, I love looking at peoples collections of inspo 💖

[@camila-pl9bn]

yay i love this. great replacement to the similar insta live u did that seems impossible to find now. thanks for giving us this little window into ur world❤❤

[@Anonymous-xl2mf]

Very excited to watch this!!! 😊

[@freelobotomykit]

Hayden im so glad you use such amazing words I can add it in my vocabulary😭 you’re amazing

[@georgesandchopin299]

you are so right on about the connection between sadness and horror, it's attachment that causes both.

[@krudcobain]

these are so cool, i love how you talk about these books it makes me want to get some of my own. i hope you do more like this!

[@egodeathmaniac]

The anime of the 80s and 90s just have a sort of ambience the modern kind doesn’t. Some that make me feel that ambient feeling is Cowboy Bepop and Serial Experiments Lain. Something about it was different, and like the works and lines were more personal, in a way? I don’t know, but it’s not like those of today, where everything feels more crisp and vibrant.

[@mirroredhour]

The 2000s also had some good stuff going for it with the likes of ergo proxy, texhnolyze, and boogiepop phantom, but that has been lost over the 2010s and I wonder if that could even exist now. It would've been wonderful if dorohedoro had gotten an anime adaptation earlier so it could've had an older look to match its already dark visuals that the recent anime doesn't. It's too clean.

[@egodeathmaniac]

@@mirroredhour yeah the 2000s is honestly my favorite era of anime! Fooly Cooly is one that comes to mind when i think of that stylized, kind of gritty animation

[@latelyloxiv]

gonna be listening/watching this while i work ty ty, looking forward to any other parts in the future!

[@Jonman621]

This is awesome! It is so cool to live in a day and age that one can listen to one of my favorite musicians share art books. Giger has inspired me for many years I grew up with the alien films and discovered his other works soon after. You have introduced me to some interesting artists as well. Andrew Wyeth👏 I really love lace curtains too😂, I really want to check out Beksinski! I have scorn and have been putting it off for a while. I'll playthrough it one of these days. Your album (Preacher's Daughter) was tragic and dark and also very beautiful! One of my favorite albums of all time. You are an amazing human being and I feel a connection with your voice and love for art. Thank you so much for sharing!

[@peytone1572]

And the art she showed us, would only be described as Ethel Cain. Also… your voice is literally so calming I was like anxious and now I’m so calm.

[@chadwagoner7056]

She's quite an inspiration, but art critic... come on! She likes what she likes. Get over yourself

[@tulsajesusfreak609]

I didn't know I needed a video of ethel showing us her art books

[@mathisgrivacla]

that was so interesting and so refreshing i appreciate so much the fact that you took your time to ho through those beautiful pieces. Thank uuu for smoothing out my day

[@shaojunqingjiu]

watching this while i crochet. love your voice so much and i cannot wait to see what you have in store for us xoxo

[@iJD124]

This has become my new favorite asmr video idc

[@janerra_ava]

Glad you're able to by art books for the artists you see on tumblr 😊. I love sharing that stuff, but don't have the money to buy art books or photography books so I try to collect/upload the ones I can find on my account.

[@foxtayle.]

11:00 I love that you added some space to talk about the subjectivity of history!!! Historical accounts all have to begin with the analysis of primary (first hand account) source which, at their most fundamental level, are just stories. Everyone experiences historical events in their own personal way; one person's account is not necessarily more correct than another's. Ultimately the most objective way to study history is to do exactly what you mentioned in using it as a jumping off point for empathy. we really r all just here to understand one another better.

[@avedic]

This is beyond enjoyable. I was going to say why...but then I read a ton of comments below and realized a bunch of other people already put it precisely how I would, and probably better. I'll just say... thanks for this insight into the creative swirl you exist within. All artists have one...and it's really cool and inspiring to get a glimpse into yours. Makes me feel more rooted to my own creative swirl.

[@OutWithTheOdd]

I strive to have a space like yours. Absolutely beautiful room and a great taste in art books.❤

[@CharmCharmedone]

You nailed pronunciation of Beksiński meemaw.

[@kestreleve6986]

Thank you for sharing, it was nice to hear/see you talk about what inspires you 🤍 Beksiński is my favorite artist. I did a presentation on him in class once and my classmates questioned my sanity but it’s okay

[@ponykris]

thank you for this! i really loved your livestream where you discussed your art books so this is such a major blessing.

[@c0yluvr]

ur collection is so good im so jealous 🙏

[@alisonhall7362]

You would be perfect at voicing a relaxing podcast that goes into history, art, music, film, etc. I know I would love it and be an avid listener!

[@lesbemo]

i could listen to you talk for hours. i always watch videos on 2x but i watched this on regular speed. you're amazing.

[@thunderwalk]

this was so nice 🙂 very calming and super interesting. can’t wait for part 2!

[@sunbleachedfly4]

Can't wait for part 2❤❤

[@SimplyDivineTV14]

omggg hi mother! please make more content like this, ilysm!!! i’m in love so far, i’m watching this whilst waiting for my yoga class to begin!

[@TheTestesTester]

I am actually so excited for part 2 of this, i love this sorta video where people just talk about shit they love

[@Batdriven]

Scorn is such a good game, the whole atmosphere and melancholy of it just blew me away and left me in shreds for days afterwards... every single still from the videogame is a work of art.

[@tjlaxton5570]

I would kill for more videos like this! 🤍

[@iris-cl5oj]

literally jumped on outta fear of deletion so quickly!!

[@emi-uc2qx]

Beksiński was from poland (my country 🦅🦅🦅🦅) and i love his paintings too. I love that they're untitled and up to your complete interpretation and im planning to get one of them tattooed soon. he was one of the best artists of his generation and he's greatly loved and missed