Toxic Masculinity in the Congo

[@avencannon9719]

No body gon' talk bout the lil 6 year old boy who wants to be a white man? (1:02)

[@jorgeamadosoriaramirez8953]

it's a pretty understandable sentiment. The kid has seen the difference between first and third worlds and rationalize it as a racial difference. It's sad, but not altogether unexpected.

[@daveeast8715]

brother this is a white man agenda to interfere with africa and bring lgbt issues. white people do not want black people to progress believe me.

[@foundmypebbles3874]

Aven Cannon That’s horrible

[@avencannon9719]

@@foundmypebbles3874 That's what I'm saying...

[@avencannon9719]

@@daveeast8715 Awe yea. France making like 5 different countries pay a colonial tax, for the "benefits" of colonization, still in 2018.

[@patrickcocobassey9673]

As an African myself who grew up in and still lives in Africa, the toxcic nature of masculinity isn't lost on me. This was a very honest and revealing video. Massive thanks to the Atlantic for making these amazing and truthful videos

[@phantom12321800]

Obviously we only get a snapshot of the program and its members. Plenty of discussions are not for us, they are for the people in that room, but it would appear at least, that they are operating from a place of love and self-improvement. Forgiveness and progress rather than a place of judgement and dictation of "this is what you have to do" It is centered around letting things these men already sort of know to be true come forward and be recognized. To not feel isolated and shamed by their feelings or their humanity. I think this is the right approach as you will never fix psychopaths or those who don't want to change with programs like this, but supporting those who want to change and to give them a place to explore it and give it shape means everything to their mental health and that of their families.

[@funny1496]

@@phantom12321800 👌🏾!

[@Tina_KF]

I love this! It means so much to me, as a person of Congolese descent, to see my people and country portrayed in a positive light in the media. It's a rare thing, especially when the topic of discussion is the eastern part of the country. Jackson, vous m'avez réchauffé le cœur. Bravo pour tous vos efforts !

[@AvalancheCleo]

I think it's beautiful. I'm so proud of them for rejecting colonialism and really finding themselves. It's wonderful.

[@alt4374]

I am most happy that this message is coming from a black men who comes from the same culture and life as these men. They dont need a white savior and Im glad that this is showing how Africans can progress of their own will and power

[@asafowatson9676]

Aysha Lamara Tywo yeah French speaking Africans.

[@kaisailona685]

@@hashslingingslasher4214 Mostly because it unites different tribes that don't speak the same language. It's a neutral way to communicate, without putting one tribe above the other. It also has a clear written alphabet and vocabulary while most local languages are spread orally and couldn't be written before the europeans came along and some tried to preserve these languages.

[@cafeaulait3706]

Instead of watching the video to understand the message that's being conveyed, people in the comments are zeroing in on the title and getting offended. Extreme physical violence perpetrated by men against their wives and children is common in these parts of the world. It's what happens when your perception of manhood has been warped by the traumas of war and poverty. I live in Rwanda where the situation is comparatively better than in DR Congo, and it's thanks to men like Jackson who offer counseling and re-education programs.

[@Kereign]

even in western countries, men think like this, it's just not magnified because the western world is supposed to be perfect.

[@elizabethfarias9104]

Men talking about masculinity in the context of their lives and community is a positive first step to change and healing. I find Jackson's efforts through the Fatherhood program (and its participants) commendable, encouraging, and empowering (hopefully it can continue once the region has stabilized). This kind of program is integral for men (and boys) anywhere and everywhere to develop a healthy identity surrounding their gender. Kudos!

[@daveeast8715]

no disrespect but this is a european agenda to influence africa to bring in lgbt groups

[@elizabethfarias9104]

Oh yes? How so? I fail to see the connection you made. By 'lgbt groups' being brought to the whole of Africa do you mean programs that raise awareness of issues that LGBTQ people face in society? If so, what's wrong with that?

[@daveeast8715]

currently in south africa europeans are pushing the lgbt and femenism issues. our issues in south africa is the land and racism. Europeans are funding these groups and the women have said that they would start a women political party 2019. europeans are funding this 100% and ive seen all the sponsers. agenda is to divide and conquer our people. white people are a wicked people who dont mind their business

[@elizabethfarias9104]

I respectfully and wholeheartedly disagree. As a side note to what you wrote, I think it's great that South African women would want to create a political party of their own seeing that South African women suffer some of the highest rates of domestic violence and femicide in the world.

[@daveeast8715]

@@elizabethfarias9104 I have the stats 2018. India is 1 and america is 10th on violence against women. south africa is not listed in the stats. feminism is a fight to combat patriarchy but the patriarchy in south africa are white men who own the land , control the money and distribute and hire the women. black men in south africa are poor and are not a patriarch. how does feminism help south african women? white women is south africa reap the benefits of patriarch white men what do south African women benefit?

[@blackqueengenius7341]

Ethnic conflict didn't kill the Congo. Strategic and continuous meddling from predatory countries from the western oligarchy have destroyed the Congo, in hopes of robbing it blind.

[@daveeast8715]

Right sis

[@Smudgell]

@@daveeast8715 The congo never lived dear

[@blackqueengenius7341]

@Scott Stapp The aids given via polio vaccinations decades and decades ago.

[@hashslingingslasher4214]

Christina J yes I’m Sure that must be what he is referring to my dear sister ❤️

[@Nicofromtheweb]

Precisely

[@lovely-mk4rt]

Peace in the world, begins at home.lovely words🕊

[@WhompingWalrus]

Gotta have something worth saving. Terror is what we unleash upon the world when there's nothing tethering us to it.

[@user-pv7nf3gu8u]

REAL Masculinity never involves suppressing the rights of women. A real man/person can recognize and appreciate the strengths of his equal. A real man wants equal treatment for his sons and daughters. We are all people first. Before you know the gender of your baby, you wish him/her the very best in life. We should all hope the same for each other, no matter what gender we were born with. Plain and simple. Any perversion of this either way is toxic masculinity/femininity.

[@big_brayo]

Only an American or a European would be "shocked" by this video. Africa is a completely different ballgame

[@bkrodrigue759]

Fact

[@generalgeo9468]

Funny thing is, it's western europeans who caused much of this

[@samauthor342]

@@generalgeo9468 I agree. The concept of dowry was not about purchase, but rather about demonstrating to the woman's family that the man could support a wife and children in a comfortable environment, free from want. It was a way for the woman's family to know that they were accountable for her successful future even in another's home. However, when the west introduced their version of money (or property) representing absolute power and exclusive ownership no matter the collateral damage, that greatly tainted the tradition of dowry, basically making it moot.

[@jley1823]

But Gillette taught me that white men are toxic and blacks perfect :/

[@amberreneesmith6852]

I really loved the message that this man is teaching other men in his community. The world has developed into a patriarchal society that is about displaying power and dominating other individuals which was fueled by colonization. I think goodness that not all men continue to think in this violent way and thank God for giving this one man a voice to make a difference in other men's lives. His program needs to grow and extend to MANY other countries.

[@asiakai9955]

Has the world not always been patriarchal

[@amberreneesmith6852]

@@asiakai9955 In many aspects it has. You make a great point, but if you do your research there were several cultures that esteemed women as equal and fostered an environment that allowed women to show power. Once we look into the expansion of European culture through colonization many areas have left those ideologies behind and favored men in many more ways than one. So to clarify my original comment - "society has developed into a more domimating culture that favors patriatchal beliefs, therefore paving a more patriarchal society publically and privately"

[@asiakai9955]

Amber Renee but you are speaking generally, generally men have always been above women in most societies on most if not all continents so where colonization had many other lasting negative effects i dont believe its responsible for this kind of toxic masculinity and mistreatment of woman as it would exist weather or not colonization happened and id say its easy to see its much better to be a woman in todays world so we have made progress...unless youre referring to specific societies in the Congo area that were directly effected by colonization i wouldnt know

[@asiakai9955]

The patriarchal beliefs have always been around we now just more aware and skeptical of them

[@asiakai9955]

T Y ok stfu there are no "roles" if an animal female seems like she has one its because nature just made her better suited to it and of you have to emphasize your point by telling someone to get back in the kitchen you never had one to begin with bye

[@Squanchita306]

Does he have like a donation page or something this is a worthwhile investment

[@snowboardsavy]

If you go to the facebook page in the description, there is donation button on the page.

[@starj5114]

Wow the work Jackson does is amazing. As a Congolese person this makes me very happy and optimistic about the future of Congo in terms of our mindsets. I love that he doesn’t make them feel ashamed but rather let’s them share their perspectives amongst other men in their community & guides men in healthily redefining their masculinity which is a beautiful thing to witness. I wonder what he’s up to now or whether he has a fund that we can donate to to help continue his efforts. Many thanks for this documentary !!👏🏾👌🏾

[@TheShushumigaaa]

I loved the message and the effort the guy is putting into bringing stability into the family. He is correct in saying that a stable family brings a stable community and people there are in a strong need of that. The text at the end broke me a bit though. I hope things get better.

[@adriangarza6841]

So sad that the program has closed, he was doing very importanrt work

[@MakedaPhillips]

Colonization and Imperialism greatly contributed to this mindset. I'm glad we are starting to undo these woes.

[@magnus08f250]

Makeda Phillips lmao I would love for you to explain this

[@NPJGlobal]

Blame Belgium

[@finnm4981]

I really liked this video, I think that the work of Jackson, and those like him, is important and very valued in such communities. Many of the other comments concerned with Social Justice seemed to be misinformed, while there are many negative consequences within the Western World from such social change, some degree is absolutely necessary and the effort being made in areas like this is very inspiring. I hope that the Fatherhood Program regains sufficient funding to begin operating again. Big thanks to The Atlantic for raising awareness of these events.

[@Blurrybianca]

It's intersting how they mix Swahili and French. Glad these men are unlearning toxicity. Come teach Kenyan men

[@myusernameisyara]

I can even hear a bit of Arabic

[@fifimpia7372]

@@myusernameisyara nope we don't speak Arabic at all, perhaps just the sound sounds similar to you

[@kokos9545]

😂😂 we can't change bruh

[@hashslingingslasher4214]

This made me smile! Much love from your sister in EQ Guinea❤️

[@saddysa]

Thank you, Jackson, for your dedication!

[@TheKadonye]

As an East African, it was interesting to hear how the congolese speak in a mix of french, kiswahili, english etc.

[@malpertuis.]

Thank you and more please. All of my best hopes to Jackson & his country.

[@elroc1]

I’m so glad I subscribed to The Atlantic! This is the type of journalism I’ve been searching for. Medium length pieces of high journalistic quality on interesting and relevant subjects. Bravo 👏🏻

[@augustinedaudu9203]

Truly sad what's happening in many parts of Central and sub-Saharan Africa, thank God we have people like Jackson

[@FM-jo1jh]

this program would be useful even in north American communities. Well done!

[@roach7017]

God bless this man, I hope he gets to continue his work.

[@ngatsand7862]

Thank you for this video. Thanks you for the message

[@MakedaPhillips]

The ending made me so mad. These type of dialogues are needed. Can you let us know of any fundraising projects that they may have?

[@CraWea]

You can search for 'JOIN good forces' on Facebook to find an NGO that supports this program.

[@bizfrizofroz]

Compelling take on responsibility, and the struggle in life to be a better person. Well done Atlantic, except for the title which I think may be confusing some

[@fe6523]

Thank you for sharing video, it was touching and made me cry because I want to see ALL human beings and the human race get along!!!

[@karliebellatrixyoung6359]

This is incredible program, seems truly capable of changing society with enough time and reach; it's a travesty that it has shut down due to lack of funding. This seems relevant in most societies today, both within Africa and the rest of the world.

[@daniaa1602]

Some people say we should forget about slavery but it is part of the very fiber of black people. The concept of a black man today is much the same as it was during slavery. Be strong, be hard-working, disregard women, use women as nothing other than sex objects, reproduce, spreading your seed is more important than building your family, women and children are disposable, the child is the mother's responsibility. Like literally all of those concepts were drummed into our forefathers during slavery and it has yet to be broken. Black men didn't just wake up one day and decide to be abusive or decide to ill-treat their children and be womanizers. This is learnt behavior.

[@MadameGerardineSephora]

We should all support the Fatherhood program ❤️❤️❤️❤️🙌

[@SoulfulInspirations22]

Wonderful 💘 this!

[@rozzaparkz6978]

Overall, I Love this!!! But the end broke my heart... Baba Bora 👏🏿

[@beingwomanly]

The editor did a great job with the cuts and design.

[@funny1496]

As an African, I am surprised and happy that these reflections are being made more and more there. 🙏🏾

[@RDCFemmes]

It happens more ofyen than people think and much earlier than the rest of the world aka the so called civilised world started talking about.

[@extremeprankage]

Anyone know where I can find the music in the video? Looking for the song that says man does not cry at around @8:10 min!

[@CraWea]

His name is Jupiter Bokondji (audio clip from the documentary Jupiter's Dance:)

[@merlinelouissaint2421]

C'est vraie le travail qui fait l'homme. Pour les gens d'aujourd'hui. Merci

[@Eli-ns5uw]

Just the fact that dudes in the comments are getting offended by the term "Toxic Masculinity" and not words like feminazi just proves its existence. It's unfortunate that some people can't be real and take criticisms of a culture without it damaging their ego. Even more comedic these dudes are the "logical and articulate" Ben Shapiros of the internet but can't explain how toxic masculinity isn't real. Any culture and behavior can be toxic. This video is actually great for masculinity as a whole because it's trying to revive the heroic responsibility of being a man.

[@fe6523]

I really hope the father hood program will re continue!! Something that is needed globally!! It's is TRUE world peace starts within the family first!! Faith for a harmonious family like SGI motto!! Please youtube SGI Buddhist movement an introduction full length version. We are in 192 countries threw out the world. Chanting Nammyohrengekyo will transform society and culture if people are WILLING to work on doing there inner change/ changing there own negative karmic tendencies!! Chanting Nammyohrengekyo has POWER! It's not a magic wand but it has POWER if you are willing to put in the work and do your human revolution!!!!

[@lovely-mk4rt]

Excellent!!!

[@dmkuchins6646]

how sad this program got shut down!!!!!

[@johngablesmith4671]

Wow. Some people in comments section arguing for the sake of arguing and getting offended over everything.

[@Frenchylikeshikes]

Such a beautiful beautiful country. I hope they soon come out of those hard times.

[@cebass9381]

What is the name of the song that's played for 1 minute ?

[@CraWea]

Cebass The song in the beginning is Staff Benda Bilili - Kuluna. They are Congolese and there is a documentary about them. Really fascinating!

[@cebass9381]

@@CraWea Thank you very much !!

[@eedobee]

Not all heroes wear capes

[@amapparatistkwabena]

Very interesting video. Thanks, Atlantic! I'll be sure to share this video w/friends get their perspectives. Would you kindly consider making one on "toxic feminism in America and Europe"? I've been discussing it w/colleagues recently & we consider it to be a growing & alarming problem which threatens society just as badly as "toxic masculinity". With social media it has spread like cancer and has metastasized just as horrifically.

[@zackmwekassamotivation4525]

Men and women are not equal. They are differents. Yes We are against discrimination and violence against women but stop try to Westernize African Men and Women. Africa has it own ways of existing that has prevailed for centuries and it cannot be quantified or judged based on a Western view of the world. We hear you but we also know your agenda behind this.

[@watashiwanoodle4103]

Damn that ending was so sudden.

[@ianchesney9639]

The Atlantic is the new old vice!

[@Lettersfromhome18]

There's nothing wrong with these boys aspiring to be as masculine as their forebears.

[@ishtarmari5160]

That band, who are them? Because they are great:)

[@prinsalibaba777]

what's that song in the beginning? anyone?

[@CraWea]

It's a Congolese band called Staff Benda Bilili. The song is Kuluna Gangs

[@5116mabuse]

The documentary is fantastic! I think this is very important for many men. Is there any way I can translate the subs in Russian?

[@WithYouIDisagree]

How they gonna be playing upbeat music at the end of this seemingly happy ending to the video and then hit us with bad news at 18:16 😭😭😭

[@xinbeicao6885]

So many triggered men in denial in the comments.

[@lumpy0100]

Thanks The Atlantic.☺

[@ThePotato131]

Is there a way to support his work?

[@Hugatree1]

God bless you and much love!

[@Trumpforeveerr]

I love how Africans are talking insted of violence hopefully there is more prosperity in africa

[@eddenoy321]

Africans will bring a new dawn to Europe.

[@TheBellaLuna94]

You say that in such a condescending way

[@eddenoy321]

@@TheBellaLuna94 WTF ! I did not say it, I typed it. The condescension is all in your head !

[@daveeast8715]

@@TheBellaLuna94 sis this is white men trying to bring lgbt agenda in africa

[@fluffystagbeetle4526]

@@daveeast8715 Why did you respond to Bella Luna? She wasn't praising this lol

[@selendriamuganogo7077]

This was really interesting

[@alexn.2901]

Why is the music louder than the voices?

[@wangarimaina5686]

I wish Congo could get it together. Their country has such vast resources. Its a shame the people have to live the way they do.

[@HerPinkElephants]

What's the song in the beginning

[@akotoolubayi1580]

The English subtitles to a degree didn't do the parts where they speak Swahili at the ground sessions justice

[@johnnyvon7991]

the measure of a man is not how many woman they can have but staying loyal to one.

[@rafiqa1621]

i don,t think the child meant he wants to be a whiteboy. i think he menat the white previlege and easier life caucasians have. we all know how they got it. he will learn to once he is taught to be himself/economic power. unity of All African Countries.

[@AstralBeing]

Toxic masculinity everywhere

[@RetroMakesBeats]

Your name and profile pic are cool.

[@SkyeDoesRJ]

That's bullshit, there aren't that many places who actually have it as bad as this country

[@AstralBeing]

@@RetroMakesBeats thank you

[@WhompingWalrus]

@@SkyeDoesRJ They didn't say it was as bad as this country everywhere. It's pretty pervasive though.

[@RetroMakesBeats]

@@AstralBeing I feel like u watch a lot of "woke" videos on here lol

[@HRm708]

C’est extrêmement triste. Il y a pas des mots à expliquer le sensation a voir comment les personnes vie. Ça me fait mal à la cœur.

[@asafowatson9676]

isn't telling how these men blame their culture for this so called toxic masculinity, but they are speaking French ? so who's culture is truly the culprit.

[@wrestlingconnoisseur]

Masculinity in the Congo: Work constantly, provide for your family and ceaselessly despise your wife.

[@luizag123]

This work can change the country! A great documentary about what is means to be a man is "The Mask You Live In" made by the same team that made "Miss Representation"

[@pixpusha]

@12:53 To be called stupid by your peers because you share a meal with your children. I cannot even imagine. A participant essentially says in order to be a good father you have to ignore the sayings of those around you. We all know in Africa, because it's collectivist society, ignoring your peers could mean a even harsher life for you. You can go against the grain in the west. One does NOT go against the grain in Africa. Is it any wonder that these abusive sentiments are perpetuated?

[@martyman0077]

S/O to the dude at 2:42 rocking the JP Losman Bills jersey!!!!

[@Augfordpdoggie]

I am an American and have lived in the Congo for more than 17 years. There is no perfect place. The United States has way more violence and has had ore wars then an country in the last 100 years. At least the men in Congo act like men and are not triggered by every single person who disagrees with them and is one of the most respectful cultures I have ever lived in. Maybe they should do a documentary on all the western nations funneling money through Rwanda to create conflict, so the can get Congo's resources

[@joshmartinez938]

Ok buddy i highly doubt the congo is a less violent country.

[@Augfordpdoggie]

@@joshmartinez938 because you have lived there? I am talking about a normal persons day to day life in a city, there is almost no crime. Sure if you go into the towns on the border, yes. But the rest of the country is far more peaceful than america

[@joshmartinez938]

Augford P. Doggie ok but if i am right there is more towns than cities right? That means more violence yeah sure theres violence in the US but its far more peacefull and safer to live in the us

[@aluisious]

@@joshmartinez938 He's an idiot.

[@aluisious]

@@Augfordpdoggie At least a million people have died in the Congo in war since 1998. Shut up.

[@arildkumar9500]

Hi! I made this film - let know if you have any questions, I'll try to answer them. 😊 If you want to support Jackson and Fatherhood Program you can do so through the "JOIN good forces", a Norwegian NGO doing great work through local partners in eastern DRC: facebook.com/JOINgoodforces/

[@thinkaboutit4715]

There's a huge difference between actual toxic masculinity and the leftist term of toxic masculinity.

[@yeshua_base64]

So progressive and intersectional.

[@DubG9]

So Western....

[@karibennett5847]

baby steps

[@aleclala132]

They were just talking about being a man is responsible being a man is hard-working and shit like that, replace that with woman and it still real.

[@pixpusha]

@7:13 "Masculinity has mostly been expressed as "Don't ignore me. If you ignore me I will show you I am a man." So much to unpack there That just let me understand so much more about men.

[@PianoRootsMusic]

Damn I thought this was some radical feminist bs, but then I realized how fucked up the problem is in that culture

[@brandongriggs6934]

1:01 "no you want to be a comedian"

[@TinkOutLoud]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@trinacorbett4827]

So wonderful to see such amazing men !! Jehovah's Witnesses have a very similar program that is free ... and they will come right to your home. Peace bigins at home ♡. The best life ever !!

[@jujubeda01]

I wonder what is the level of mutual intelligibility between France french and Congo french

[@Azknowledgethirsty]

Total, they speak a very clear French, it's very accented but in a clear way as most people there learn it on school as a second or first an a half language

[@Snake_holiday]

honestly i speak spanish and some portuguese, not french, and I can understand them better than French from France lol.

[@jesush.christ5978]

at 1:03 he asked the kid what he wants to be and he said a white man. I cant say I blame him.

[@schillaci5050]

A country worth $24 trillion dollars in natural resources 😳.... Blackman love yourself please

[@nadianjiba7667]

Mais le message qu'un homme doit travailler on le connait très bien mais à qui tu envoy ce message et pour quelle raison? Le pays souffre oui mais donne une positive conclusion c'est tout ce dont on a besoin. Ne te compare à personne mais abouti tes propres montagnes tous ces pays évolués ont commencer aussi quelque part!

[@aluisious]

Jesus this just keeps going and going. Yes, don't beat your wives. Congratulations, you figured it out.

[@eduardoperezolivares1251]

some cultures are light years away from others

[@eduardoperezolivares1251]

i live in spain not in south or north america

[@roipacis5797]

hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men and weak men create hard times

[@WhompingWalrus]

Good times create men ignorant to the atrocities of the past who elect demagogues who bring about hard times. Those hard times create men less ignorant to those atrocities, which bring about good times, which...

[@WilliamAndrewLange]

@@WhompingWalrus Our past is GLORIOUS!! No shame - only PRIDE!!

[@adlsfreund]

@@WilliamAndrewLange Insane.

[@WilliamAndrewLange]

@@adlsfreund Why? Why everything should be about you? I'm talking about my native country and her past was indeed glorious, although tragic. Russia built the largest land Empire in the history of mankind and prevail in many many wars. Why shouldn't I be proud of it?

[@TheAncientOneOfDays]

@@WilliamAndrewLange Why is everywhere I go "Russia" is somehow the topic? Russians are working in their own borders, trying to survive. I have yet to read a history book about the "100 year Russian rule over ..." I go outside the borders, and somehow Russia is the most evil empire in the Universe... Also, masculinity is Never toxic. What is toxic is trying to paint flowers over a male... then one can expect violence. Let men be what men are - protectors and defenders... give us something to defend!

[@LifeofMinna]

wow disgusting behavior but good reporting. interesting to know what the world is struggling with. poor women...

[@LifeofMinna]

​@nakanaka nalas im sure they are... doesnt take away from what i said, that unfortunately their men treat them like shit

[@bennjj4478]

Whats wrong with being masculine ?

[@mimilili5329]

I am congolese it's funny how they loved to film what they want. This is not the country 👺👺👺👺👺👺stop with your lies. Imagine a congolese TV go to America and film the worst then generalized an entire population!!!!it's also funny where they filmed, not the urban cities like they always did. 🤦🏾

[@ricardoseales6501]

Extremely dangerous and manipulative people .Stay away from them for your safety.

[@GeoffreyMureithi]

Please learn Swahili Today, its going to be the language of Africa, it is already for East and some parts of Southern Africa.

[@avivablossom6829]

♥

[@infullbloomtime7479]

So we gonna ignore the impact of white supremacy programming 🤦🏾‍♀️