Toxic People & How To Take Back Your Life - Dr Ramani, Ep 41

#narcissism #narcissistic #toxicpeople
This is the second time clinical psychologist Dr Ramani has appeared as my guest on healthHackers® and once again she blew me away with her supreme expertise on dealing with selfish, entitled and narcissistic partners, family members, friends, colleagues and acquaintances.
My first interview with Dr R last year became the MOST-WATCHED and MOST-COMMENTED-ON video of all time on the healthHackers® KZbin channel.
Watch it HERE: • How To Handle A Narcis...
In #healthHackers episode 41, you’ll discover:
🔹The hidden clues of a narcissist in their Instagram posts
🔹Why millions of us are drawn to follow narcissists on social media
🔹The best way to handle a narcissist when they are trying to hurt you
🔹Who a narcissist is most likely to target
🔹The narcissistic red flags during early days of romantic dating
🔹How to take back your life from a narcissist
🔹When narcissists themselves feel sadness and pain
🔹How to deal with a narcissistic parent or sibling
🔹The symptoms of post-narcissistic stress disorder
🔹What causes a person to become narcissistic
🔹Why #narcissism is becoming “the new normal”
🔹What to do if you think YOU are a #narcissist
🔹Key steps a parent can take to prevent their child from becoming selfish and entitled
🔹Tips for dealing with trolls on social media
🔹How to handle #gaslighting
Dr Ramani’s channel: / doctorramandurvasula
Read about my interview with Dr Ramani or listen to the audio podcast: www.healthhackers.uk/episode-...
MOST-WATCHED VIDEO ON THIS CHANNEL:
How to handle a narcissist, sociopath or psychopath
• How To Handle A Narcis...
MOST-READ ARTICLE:
My (Epic) Skin Journey
healthhackers.org/article-lis...
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Facebook: / gemmaevansbroadcaster
❗️Anything you hear or see within healthHackers content should not be considered personal or medical advice.

[@stephenbruneau852]

I got goosebumps. Thank you very much.

[@HealthHackers]

Thanks for watching Stephen!

[@101kmmrs]

I am not attacking you. I'm asking you to get to know him before diagnosing

[@victoriathomas627]

So awesome!

[@beautydefined1601]

Queen Boss 👑

[@kalppanagopal7845]

Goosebumps.. Seriously!!

[@amandamcgraw7656]

Love how Dr. Ramani just chillin, cozy sweater on, no make-up, propped up w/ a pillow. Boss.

[@pegasusgenesis360]

She definitely is! RIGHT!? I LOVVVVEEEE DR. Ramani! She is SO real...SO smart...and she just gives the info like it is. Unbiased. Helpful. I send so much love to Dr. Ramani.

[@heidiklessard8440]

Down to earth, intellect that keeps it real. BOSS! 💪

[@lilytony3299]

She is complete with full off knowledge she doesn't need beautified

[@rafaelam.r.3446]

I love the way she explains subject, she says in a way we can understand about psychology subjects. She is a teacher ❤️

[@elizabethash4720]

Confident and how I would like to be.

[@palomarodriguez3308]

This lady is one of the best communicators that I have ever heard in my life. She really was born to do what she does.

[@queenofthebutterflies5212]

Don't you love what she said about nursery school? I'm going to hang on to that one & check myself when I'm being bratty! ;)

[@ethnicalbert]

This woman is a treats people with narcissistc traits as sub human and literally says they should be put on a island and prevented from breeding kzbin.info/www/bejne/n6C6lH-rgsiHeMU

[@acajudi100]

She should know many come here just to understand others, and not make fun of us for liking her channels. I go to many genres, just to learn, and I have all types of books, podcasts. I just nicely remove nasty nasty people from my life. I keep audio, video or written journals. I love to see women dressing non slutty.

[@ethnicalbert]

@Sheila Mchgee narcissism is proven in every text on the subject to be a spectrum, a collection of traits that everyone has to some degree. to demonise damaged people and say they cant change is just wrong. the same way if i said echoists cannot change and should be prevented from breeding that would be straight up wrong

[@ARedMagicMarker]

@@ethnicalbert Desperate times call for desperate solutions. I don't mind narcs existing. I mind the things they do. If you are found to be the one fouling up everything and you have proven that you are uncivil, you NEED to be separated from a civil society and it's innocents. Enough is enough. And yes, they should be kept from breeding, because their children suffer. But since I'm not authoritarian, I have no desire really to police people's mating/breeding habits. They shouldn't be allowed to breed, but because it's a human right, they can...and they do. Narcs are the #1 people so itching to have kids. They never shut up about it, and you will hear them going on dreamily about having babies with them on like the 3rd date.Of course they have no idea how off this sounds though. I'll tell you why... Why look and scour the land for your supply when you can make it? I'm not talking about regular jerks and assholes, or people having a bad day or even a bad year....I'm talking about if I did a brain scan on you and there's just something missing or not lighting up. That combined with your actions and the trail of destruction in your wake. How much poison has been distributed. How many lives and minds are fucked up because of one cockroach hiding under the sink.THAT is what needs to be uprooted, extracted, and not killed, but definitely put away, I don't know where, but the only thing narcs deserve is each other. I don't care where you are on the spectrum. Your actions are key. I know they need empaths to exist, but I don't care. Why should the empath suffer because the narc needs the supply? I've dealt with them and was raised by one. If narcs don't care, we shouldn't care, because when you care, with a narc that is mistake #1. Patterns time and time again display this fact. It's not hearsay, discrimination, or bias, it's fact. Pinpoint and uproot the narc and even a whole community can find peace. It's that bad. Narcs are poison, and you don't stop trying to remove the poison just because the poison kicks, shouts and protests.

[@rwaterssydney]

Post Narcissistic Stress Disorder is real.

[@jamesmcginn8874]

Yes it is--i had it for years before i escaped.

[@bethannhayward6639]

Rachel W ...it is absolutely devastating..I’m On my road to healing...I have to...

[@deniseperley5973]

Just realizing I jumped out of the frying pan into the fire from one relationship to another. With therapy I'm ceasing these patterns and getting out.

[@cman31557]

Love this woman! I bet she has no clue how many lives she charges.

[@tee4303]

“Life is too short, my mental health is precious” 🙌👏👍😆😊 yaassss😫❤️🙌

[@lesleyelalami2562]

Absolutely, move away from the toxicity, give no excuses and don''t look back.

[@schivonnemiller1223]

Facts

[@meghang2599]

Our mental health, our time, our energy, our PEACE. All too precious to waste on cockroaches.

[@kisigma1102]

Right lmfao

[@TLW369]

This! 👏

[@afuastingley8521]

I love Ramani's comment - "Too many people stay at the table (with narcissists) too long" - she is exactly right, it becomes toxic and dangerous. I have been in two major relationships with narcs - the last was a malignant narc. I ran from one narc to a worse narc and it nearly cost me my life - I stayed in almost five years. I remain single and now focus on myself and don't entertain any narc behavior from anyone.

[@HealthHackers]

🙌 Good for you! Power to you Afua.

[@ellinorglorioso2247]

me too

[@kisigma1102]

Yeah I'm just not with it

[@annikalyssecooke1503]

You CAN'T! It's the only way to save yourself. They are evil backstabbing WORTHLESS people who are nothing without soulful people because they have NO SOUL themselves. Remember that.🌸🌸🌸

[@jviewz88]

Afua! Same here. Power to you ❤️

[@lisak2262]

We don’t have enough advocates, let alone friends, family whom can possibly understand - which furthers our isolation! So thank you, THANK YOU!

[@HealthHackers]

Lisa K thanks for your comment Lisa. I’m glad the video has been of comfort!

[@kimslone5185]

I really like your recommendation that everyone have some therapy between 18 and 25 years old to unpack their childhood.

[@pauladuncanadams1750]

Amen! The world would be a better place if we all as youth understood ourselves better.

[@briannajadedunlop7179]

Agreed

[@ntitus3025]

👏👏👏👏 Thank you Dr. Ramani for saying you don't believe in second chances. I thought I was the only person in the world that felt the same way. May Angelou says, "when someone shows you who they are believe them the first time". I had already felt that way before I even heard of this quote. I grew up with a narc mom. I have survived because she never wanted to be a mother and didn't raise me. I am so grateful for that now.

[@blessingfarm3674]

“Love your child fully, deeply, authentically.” Dr. Ramani absolute gold.

[@HealthHackers]

🙌

[@doriaware2965]

"Tend your own garden," I like that !

[@HealthHackers]

🙌

[@fly4uron]

I m now retired after 33 years of working in a hospital and there are so many Narcissistic PD's who work in the hospital So very thankful that I don't have to deal with the bullying and passive aggressive toxic behavior Now I have complete control over who I allow in my life!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so very much Dr.Durvasula and Health Hackers !!!!!!!

[@HealthHackers]

Thanks so much for watching and commenting Ron!

[@user-es8si3cv8b]

Wow now i understand why its so difficult to g’et help from doctors

[@michaeljackson7361]

She's the best. " All internet trolls are narcissist"

[@susansprig3081]

Well said. They are all over on Breitbart clapping for the little narcissist who gaslighted Trump's rally.

[@SunflowerWisdom]

You seem to be really pushing a political agenda here. I find it discouraging when I see very hateful people on social media accusing other people of being ignorance and drinking the koolaid. Just because a person doesn't know how to properly respond to others who are attracting them with lies and twisted truths does not make that person a narcissist. That is no different than the victim of severe bullying being called the bully when he or she stands up for themselves. Look at who the initial abuser is in the situation. Who are the real people spreading hate and constant lies. This video seems to insinuate that Trump is the narcissist and I appologise if I am wrong here. Trump reacts, perhaps inappropriately much of the time, to people who disrespect, degrade, belittle, and often out right lie about him. I discovered this early on when I caught politicians and news reporters constantly saying that Trump said or did something that he actually did not say or do. Who are the real narcissists??? Who are the real bullies and liars??? Who are the people who are actually tied to a mountain of crimes and corruption??? Why are there so many people who have worked directly with Trump who say he is not the mean, narcissistic person that the radical left states he is? Personally, I saw long ago who the real corrupt people were. Real narcissists often blame others and accuse the victim of being the narcissist when it is actually them who is. The main problem Trump has is he doesn't know how to appropriately respond to mean bullies. He lowers himself to their status instead of rising above. This is a common mistake that victims make and I wish he could watch your videos and learn how to react appropriately instead of lowering himself to the status of others. I've found that the most hateful people are often those who are accusing others of hate. Liars always accuse their victims of lying.

[@RubinaMerchant]

Spot on again! I gave many chances :(. Finally divorced him after 30 years! Not sure how I remained sane...switching off and not engaging in his games worked but life "alone" was tough.

[@liljerseygirl249]

I think they feel angry much of the time more then the average person for sure.

[@kisigma1102]

Facts

[@wendellignatin1228]

i was no contact with my narc mother for twenty years.I gave her a second chance. She exploited it.The cycle of abuse got even worse. Now i am no contact again. I won't be giving any third chances...believe you me.

[@Justme-qv7co]

wendell ignatin absolutely the same with me, and it feels good

[@wendellignatin1228]

Is your narc mother covert or overt?

[@toristoddard3831]

Dr. Ramani you are AMAZING!!!!! Thank you for what you do!!! Wow so intelligent and caring! Love you!

[@HealthHackers]

Thanks Tori! Dr R is amazing!

[@HoosierMama27]

SO many pearls in this video! Thank you Dr. Ramani!!! -Who cares what they are saying about you. Tend to your own garden! -Narcissists don't listen to you anyway. STOP wasting your time. -Give 90% of your energy to the good people instead of the toxic ones. -Parents need to be comfortable with their own emotions before they can teach their child.

[@lisaj5769]

she is one smart cookie and a bad ass. I really appreciated this.

[@myrna4445]

I like the word badass. She is a strong woman protecting others who are going through difficult times. And helping us avoid falling in a deep pit.

[@aperfectplace]

You are the best, just love your videos...I have gone no contact with my Convert Narcissistic Mother who is 96 years old..After 63 years of her abuse, I was dying inside me..As well as having 2 ex husbands, one a Narcissistic person too and the other one a Sociopath.. I have had help and support by doctors and Narcissistic abuse groups which has save my life, over the last 15 years..I have had so much peace and happiness in the lasted 4 months, after not seeing my mother it unbelievable how much better I feel...Also I have just become a first time grandmother, by my oldest daughter and her husband..That life is worth living again....Sending love from Australia 🇦🇺.

[@joseenoel8093]

Karen, me too! Mine's 81, I'm worken on having her lisence revoked. It's been 3 yrs since she tried to throw me out. I said the wrong thing which was: -"How about I get a really long mirror so you can see what you really look like!" Bull's eye! She ruined so much and it's gonna be me who has her committed. Something we never heard of growing up aye? Thank goodness for these nice U-Tube Docs. Mom's been feeding off of me and my estranged older overt siblings and others for years! No more! Now with her dementia worsening I can only imagine how hellish her life is. Better her than me. It's like there isn't a narc question that Dr. Ramani can't handle.

[@HealthHackers]

Thanks for watching Josee. Wishing you lots of peace in your life going forwards.

[@HealthHackers]

Congratulations on becoming a grandmother! Thanks for watching, wishing you all the best.

[@lindabell6954]

I was 63 yrs old when I awakened. Nothing I ever did was good enough. Enjoy your beautiful peace now! Watch out for anyone who tries to make you feel guilty. They do not understand!

[@cjok8367]

karen collyer + my story almost mirrors yours. After telling me I was making it hard for her to enjoy family gatherings because I fought w/ my sister "all the time" (not one fight or argument) then one yr later she tried for the third time in my life to cause me harm w/ her lies (As in,life in danger) I went no contact. Going on three yrs. I'm 54,she's 75. After yrs of cussing like a sailor,pulling insurance scams,possibly having my father killed etc.. she has found religion. I had hoped she would get better w/ age but sadly she has only gotten worse. She is now playing the victim. She tells ppl she doesn't know why I stopped coming to gatherings (stopped visiting altogether),I'm just being cruel,trying to hurt her. Entire family has turned against me so I'm sure she's telling them all kinds of lies. Even losing my daughter & both grandchildren this past 6 months. That's about caused me to give in & go back to allowing the abuse for the sake of seeing them. She has hated me my whole life. Sabotaged everything good I've ever tried to do to be happy. I was starting to find peace & learning how self respect feels but she can't allow that. She started making my daughter financial reliant upon her to control her & my daughter has a price I'm sad to say. She's also a narcissist, single w/ two children,thinks she shouldn't have to work & doesnt. My daughter is an alcoholic that doesn't take care of her children & has a different man in her life yearly. I was doing ok as long as I could see to it that they were provided for & able to have them with me but thanks to my mother I'm no longer a part of their lives. She doesn't care about them. She's using them to punish me for not doing what she expects of me. When my daughter was an infant she refused to buy her formula, never held her. But now she's paying her bills & buying her a car in the past yr. She's put me in the position to choose & I know it's going to be so much worse if I give in. I miss my grandkids so much though. Evil is the only word that comes to mind when I think of my mother. God help me I'm afraid she's going to win again. I'm so glad for you though. I read about women on here in their 20s talking about how they have finally figured it out & are so frustrated they took so long to break free. Lol. Better late than never though. I hope your happiness & freedom continue. Wish me luck. PS. Sorry for over sharing. I only ment to congratulate you.

[@Sunny-iq6hm]

The temperament angle is something I've been wondering about, thank you for mentioning that. The realization that narcissism is almost impossible to treat is so sad. The challenge is to tend to your own garden and let the narcissist deal with theirs. No more attention to the narcissist!!!!

[@HealthHackers]

You're so right! Thanks for watching.

[@lizafield9002]

This is a great post. I'd been thinking about that Camus sentence (at end of Candide?) "We must tend our garden" this summer. Restoring an acre of wildlife habitat & healthy produce was one thing i could do in the midst of my country's narcissist politics & state media phase. (The narcissist isn't likely to have a garden. Lawn & asphalt, nothing too vertical or noncontrolled. Deforest the planet, wreck the climate & so forth--all good for one's stock portfolio. )

[@HealthHackers]

@Nicky J Thanks for watching Nicky. Did you see my first interview with Dr R? You might find it interesting. She told me that "Narcissism is largely made, it’s not born" - you can see that episode here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oJCqmaarjaafqMU

[@lizafield9002]

@Nicky J yep, my dad is 89. I'm their main caregiver & his oblivious narc boundary bullying & self focus have totally eaten out my core vitality. But very good wisdom school for me. The old myth goes that people soften & grow wiser & more aware with age. Maybe in some earlier tribal society where people's brains were tuned in to the bigher picture of nature, seasons, stars, & the common good. Today, the brain is trained in self, self, self. Look at our demented bullish old world leaders at this time, & why we keep destroying our own biosphere instead of serving the good of all life. This has all firmed my resolve to live for the greater good, no matter what.

[@Sunny-iq6hm]

@Nicky J difficult to accept, isn't it?

[@denisel780]

The best way to engage with a narcissist when they're trying to bait you..."is to not." Ha! Exactly! It works amazingly. Been doing it for about a year now with someone in my life and the raging has all but stopped. Life has become much more peaceful now that I have learned not to take what they say personally and just nip it in the bud and walk away. Thank you so much for this video!

[@DoubleRainbows-fp6ih]

Thank you. This helped me. So much. As Maya Angelou Said : "When someone shows you Who they are the First time Believe Them."

[@mamabear-9.18.18]

If I see Dr. Ramani on someone's KZbin channel, I automatically subscribe to the channel.... Dr. Ramani, I wish I could have had you as my therapist 20 years ago! I appreciate everything that you do, love your personality and your funny one-liner analogies to explain this better for us & I'm so glad that I had found you & your content! Thank you so much

[@Zagorka007]

Narcissistic twist of reality is so dangerous....keeping a diary might help to remind your self what you were several years back.

[@lavette916]

when i was little i was the family scapegoat my mother the narcissist i told them all at 5 years old " if you knew who i am and who you are you would not treat me this way " 55 years later the song remains the same

[@petersmith143]

It seems in the world of social media, narcissism is encouraged by the ' look at me ' culture. I don't like it all, and it makes life more stressful having to encounter narcissists. Thank you very much for bringing us yet another great piece Gemma 🌟🌟🌟👍😎

[@HealthHackers]

Thanks for watching and commenting so thoughtfully

[@mariewilliams194]

A lot of narcissistic people are not all loud and in your face . Snobs can be narcissistic and like to criticize and act like their perfect and be in control. Smugness is a sign people lack empathy.

[@jac1161]

@@mariewilliams194 Yes! They have various faces, colors, shapes and sizes

[@rosykatzCATS]

When people like trump get away with all he does, it's a sickening message TT o young people.

[@danarchambault8723]

Twisting really is a favorite tactic of a narc , gas lighting is one of the worst things that can happen to you , thank you for your education , it's priceless

[@user-ub8xt6sh1s]

when i try confronting him with something hes done wrong he tends to switch everything back on me and accuse me of being the reason why he said what he said or behave the way he behaved

[@manarmanar942]

It's the same story with all of us empaths

[@thewellbeingqueen_]

Yes. My ex didn’t comment on my bright purple hair for five days because...wait for it.....I didn’t notice he had had a hair cut. So it was a tit for tat. (Mind You his hair is so short that I really thought perhaps it was cut but I couldn’t be sure. ) but I certainly didn’t not say anything on purpose. Like he did!

[@jennwill80]

Yes!!!

[@Lisa-ub6zl]

I believe this falls under the umbrella of gaslighting.. very typical childish behavior of the narc!

[@easterrego5355]

Powerful teacher of real life! Thanks for sharing this valuable interview. It will help me and my family! I love Dr. Ramani’s wisdom on moving out of narcissist abuse!🤍🤍⚔️

[@laylalayla5364]

Dr. Ramani is the boss

[@HealthHackers]

🙌🙌

[@thinkforyourselfjohn3163]

Lol👍❤

[@dianatorba]

Amongst many admirable traits, it’s because she is humble at her core. And by humble, I mean in the truest sense, not too big, not too small vision of herself.

[@roberth.3705]

The gaslighting is so extreme, I used to sometimes not be sure if they even realized it themselves or if it's an automatic response...like a reflex. Also, the pathological lying, deception and dishonesty is just outrageous. If confronted, even with evidence, one will face denial, minimization, deflection, being attacked, silence or if the mask has slipped: "So what?" I can only say journal, journal, journal, so one can remember. Quite quickly, there's a mountain of evidence of toxic behaviour and then it's a natter of extricating oneself from the emotional enmeshment - that's the REALLY hard part.

[@azcactusflower1]

Raised by narc's and I didn't realize this until caring for my mother. Sadly, emotionally devoid. I asked her a few months ago if she was raised with warmth and love as a child and during teenage years, she paused and her tone stiffened to "No." When you live with someone, their colors come out. I think my mother is more covert. This isn't the place to express the experiences, but will say, hasn't been fun or joy-filled.

[@HealthHackers]

So sorry to hear you’ve had to suffer. I hope things are better for you today.

[@oliviacadena2036]

I can really relate to you!!! It's tough! I hope things get better for you!! Thanks allot for sharing here. Gbu! 🙋🙋❤️🧡❤️🧡❤️🧡

[@MistyEry]

I’m sorry. I’m binge watching these videos. Its far too real. As you went down the list I was making a mental check list. I think the identity one is be most difficult. Not being able to recognize yourself and you have a hyper awareness of all your flaws. Feeling that Everything the narcissist said was true. Feeling as if in innocence or humour or a light was snuffed out. I remember when leaving the narcissist, my child and I went to live with my parents. They observed and mentioned that I was completely wrecked. Thankfully, I feel God had really brought me through the healing process but it took 3 years and there still remains aspects in my life I feel I need to work on. Thankyou for your information. Very helpful. I feel it helps a lot of us who have gone though narcissistic abuse not feel so alone isolated in the healing process.

[@HealthHackers]

My goodness I’m sorry to hear what you’ve been through. I’m glad the video was of some comfort or use to you.

[@zhannam6998]

Such a great woman this dr Ramani. My husband had horrible childhood and and never had his emotional needs satisfied. He grew up and become a monster himself.

[@eileenprobus7545]

Controlling is an understatement!

[@LoveiDora]

Eileen Probus coercive control is what we get from the narcissist.

[@otchris]

My husband is a classic example of ALL of the things Dr. Ramani describes! For 2.5 years, I was abused by his manipulation, deception, gaslighting and anxiety-producing rage and mercilessness. This was very liberating to listen to and to help facilitate my healing and recovery! I deserve better than what I have received. I need to find a local counselor who "gets" narcissism and how to recover from this experience.

[@HealthHackers]

Oh Christine, I'm sorry to hear you suffered for all of that time. You are right - you DO deserve better. Wishing you all the best in finding the right support. Thank you for watching my episode with Dr Ramani.

[@carletouk]

She’s doing the interview from bed ha ha awesome !

[@SamitaSarkar]

ikr what a queen!

[@krystalgardiner5591]

The stress disorder is real people. I was just hospitalized 2 weeks ago from all the emotional stress I’m going through

[@soheilay6778]

Dr. Ramani Thank you for helping us.

[@HealthHackers]

Thanks for watching Soheila! Did you catch my other episode with Dr R? You might find it interesting. It’s here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oJCqmaarjaafqMU

[@olgerah3115]

My body had been hurting all in different places for no reason at all. Just recently my teeth started hurting that even the dentist can’t seem to find the issue. They will destroy you

[@tessjones5987]

This is more wisdom than I can take in one viewing. So profound. Hope we can turn this around for our world.

[@jg5930]

Dr Ramani 💕😊🙏🏻 Best advice! 🥰 Spread the word about the Narc! Everyone needs to become aware.

[@Sky_Star-hq6bx]

"my mental health is too precious" Thank you Dr. Ramani ! Pure Solid Gold !

[@anastasiayatsenuk]

Blessed be the day internet was invented. I am beyond greatful for the opportunity to be able to hear you and learn from you. You are saving the world and so many people in it

[@HealthHackers]

Thank you Anastasia!

[@heidiheid6025]

I sobbed watching this. I have PNSD, and I realized how much I need help. I have every symptom described, and feel so helpless, frustrated, depressed, and scarred.

[@HealthHackers]

I’m so sorry Heidi. You’re not alone and I hope you are getting the help you need.

[@LuvliexXJazzieXx]

You had me at "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" YESSSSSSSS!

[@artiyadav4434]

I feel like I am dying after what he has done.

[@HealthHackers]

oh no, I'm so sorry to hear this :(

[@jendavis9374]

That is hard. I am in the same position. I am learning that I have allowed this to happen to me all my life. Learn about codependency

[@Lisa-ub6zl]

This too shall pass... and it will. Hang in there and love yourself. Don't feel ashamed of being hurt for what someone else did to you. You have to remain the better or bigger person. Believe in your heart that they will be dealt with one day in their own timing but they're not your problem anymore. Trust me. No one is sacred to these people and all involved in their life will feel the abuse.

[@tomekamontegue5122]

I’m so with you Dr Ramani. I have no patience for foolishness like that. I’ve been called cold or emotionless. But that’s only after I disengage from the disfunction and protect my mental health. I feel you!

[@VW-uq5jn]

It would've been a pleasure and a blessing to have you as a sister, mother, auntie Dr Ramani. You've helped me understand this toxic narcissistic parasitical society and understanding I do have boundaries, and I can set them against these cold hearted parasites. Thank you for all you do ❤️🥰

[@Musiclover-uo2oi]

When my son was 10 he tried out to be the hockey goalie for his age group at a rep level. He came home disappointed and said that another boy was chosen. He also said that the other kids and their parents were saying the boy was only chosen because the organizers felt sorry for him because his mother had just died. I asked him how he felt about that, and he said that it was terrible what they said, and he didn’t mind not being chosen, because even if the boy was not the best goalie, he needed something special in his life to help him get through the sadness of losing his mother. EMPATHY. I was really proud of him, and he is now a wonderful adult. I was raised by two narcissistic parents, and worked really hard at not passing that on to my children.

[@HealthHackers]

That’s lovely.

[@W12super]

I like your sons style 👍

[@lauramonteiro702]

Wow!!! Thank you for this!! I am “co-parenting” with a narcissist and there’s still so much I am learning. So much truth here and I am realizing how abusive my ex was in our marriage and is still trying to control through family court, 6 years later. I can see how it’s taken the past 5 yrs to unravel all of this and continue healing. I am so thankful I had a therapist for the duration of the marriage who kept acknowledging that my reality was valid and educated me on narcissistic abuse. I did start to believe I was crazy and I am still healing. This is so important to talk about. Stop engaging...tend to your own garden...YES!!

[@HealthHackers]

Thanks so much for sharing your experience Laura. Wishing you strength and further healing.

[@petersmith143]

Its great that you're slowly, but surely, healing Laura. Hope life treats you better now 👍☺

[@stonepaintertim]

definitely on that wave length; staying sane is a new frontier

[@pauliwali5056]

I'm glad someone has finally mentioned siblings! I think my brother is a subclinical psychopath with narcissistic traits. I only found out three years ago he's not actually my blood brother at all; I was 55 years old then. I believe there's a strong genetic component to its expression. When I finally stood my ground and took him to task, I got the "narcissistic dump". I reciprocated. I started reading to make sense of things and this has taken me on a three year whistle-stop tour exploring Emotional Blackmail, Manipulation, Passive Aggression, Gaslighting, The Dark Triad, Psychopathy, among others. Dr Ramani said it before when interviewed for Med Circle … get away, as quickly as you can.... I did, eventually, and the FOG (fear, obligation, guilt) has lifted! Fair play to you, Ramani, for your straight talking.

[@cynthiawilburn8032]

You are the best Dr. Ramoni ! I listen to you daily ! ❤️

[@angelacapranica7701]

Excellent point. Once you have been slapped, it still stings!

[@jasminkahn-turner7641]

Wish I saw this earlier. I drove myself crazy for 4 yrs keep giving 2nd chances after all the cheating,lying and cold as ice . I felt like I became toxic because of the abuse so happy I gain the strength to let go

[@HealthHackers]

So sorry to hear that Jasmin🙁

[@jasminkahn-turner7641]

Am right here with u did it for 6 yrs and I lost myself. In the end it was my fault I should not have reacted to his cheating

[@olgerah3115]

Narc will take everything that you have even your last breath even then they will say you didn’t do enough for them.

[@evelynbaron2004]

So grateful for this interview, referring to the narcissist trying to change; I wrote in once about my sister who has done consistently a lot of work on herself but at this point in our lives has reached her limit and so sanity for me dictates setting difficult but non-negotiable boundaries and facing hard truths and investing in other more mutually supportive empathic relationships; I could have severed ties but because she travels so much our encounters are breathless so glad to see you which are snatched away the minute the subject vires away from her-- briefly last year because I had reason to know someone technically a 'celebrity' she was all agog, then he had the bad manners to die abruptly and I didn't hear from her for months and I'm still cheering her on; we're not young anymore so I simply look elsewhere for friendship and am happy when she is doing well -- which given the current climate, yes she is so I intermittently feel great sadness but know that I had a choice and I too must take responsibility for letting this life-long relationship remain.

[@UD-fv6xu]

Dr. Ramani is a force to be reckoned with. What a beautiful mind.

[@miminekevots7002]

You consistently understand how things are. A very worthy topic; Narcissistic Take Downs

[@sw9172]

Thank you so much Gemma for this amazing interview... very informative and helpful with Dr Ramani.

[@karenkrusinga5663]

Hi Dr. Ramani, I am truly amazed at your teachings and explanations of narcissists! You are so spot on in my life that I swear you were a fly on the wall. I am a well educated woman married to my narc for 25 years and only just discovered the meaning of narcissist. I am a health professional, nurse practitioner, my avoidance of causing anger or outrage in my husband has literally taken over my life. I have two teenage girls, and we are constantly walking on eggshells. I’ve even lied to him about things like where girls are going or who they are with, just to avoid an argument. You see when things go bad I get blamed if something turns out wonderful he takes credit. He really has no use for our children, high schoolers. It bothers me that really all they are their for are to make him look good-living the dream. You can imagine after 25 years of this bullshit, I am a little messed up. Everyone says you have a degree just walk away but the problem is I’ve been traumatized and mind preoccupied that the last 3 jobs I’ve had I have lost for incomplete work! I am smart and kind and I know I’m a good NP, but I’ve somewhat gotten a bad rap in the town I live in. I’m so afraid I will lose a job again and not be able to care for myself or my girls. I see a therapist and we are working on making myself stronger because my mind is made up about leaving. Thank you for admitting that jobs can be lost because of this. I’ve been blaming myself now I realize always on eggshells I have no focus or memory or anything to do well at work. Can or will I get the confidence back to return to work?

[@candyxoxo19]

A favorite line of mine from Batman says "Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up." You never fail until you give up trying. Losing a job is traumatic and has lasting affects however some times the doors that close can lead you to the right door.

[@dawnrobbins5877]

Dr. Ramani is pure gold. Very informative. Thank you!

[@crystalclearonelive]

Everything and i mean everything was identifiable for me as the daughter of a Queen narcissist! Esp. The minimizing what good you do and not taking ownership of ANY action! But shes surrounded by enablers.🤕

[@HealthHackers]

Oh I’m so sorry to hear that Smile. I hope you’re in a good place now.

[@oliviacadena2036]

🤕🤕🤕🤕. I can relate to you.

[@kriekerestorative]

This is such a blessing. 🙏 Helped me a lot with knowledge on Narcissism. Surrounded by close loved ones that has it

[@nikij3754]

This is amazing. Love how passionately Dr. Ramani speaks about this topic. She knows it inside out. SO knowledgeable. And the interviewer asked her some great questions. SUCH a good conversation

[@cesdYouTube]

Thank you, i feel relieved.. seems like someone understand me.

[@NeilHynes]

Great return and another great interview. Thanks so much !

[@HealthHackers]

Thanks for watching Neil!

[@paulalee5179]

"90-10" for Narc.Abuse. The most comprehensive and wholesome discussion about dealing with narcissism. Worth using as reference, again and again.💋

[@lo-fidreamsASMR]

Thank you for hosting Dr. Ramani! And also, as a new parent, your questions about how to raise a healthy child is so appreciated. Keep up the great content!

[@HealthHackers]

You're very welcome, and thanks so much for watching and commenting. This kind of feedback is really nice! Power to you for being a great mother.

[@T35483]

Thank you Dr. Ramani and HealthHackers for this video.

[@HealthHackers]

Thank you for watching!

[@delnitap]

PTSD by Narcissist abuse being called post Narcissistic stress disorder has become my life atm. So hard getting my life back. But theres hope, the new gf 😅😪😩 thank you God for sending her to him. I'm serious.

[@karenrudge4082]

Thanks for your amazing work Dr Ramani .... you always hit on-point with understanding the true narc abuse, you communicate and articulate this angle so well! Thank you so very much 🙏

[@quickimod6008]

Absolutely wonderful x thank you so much for your beautiful support xxx and the books!!!!! Yay... Never heard of them I have nothing but respect, love, gratitude for Dr Ramani.. And u were a wonderful interviewer I will be supportive of you too. My first time seeing you. U r awesome.. Yr questions so perfect!!! No waffle I have never enjoyed an interview so much. Much love Dominique Ruocco xxx

[@HealthHackers]

Thank you SO MUCH Dominique! What wonderful support for Dr R and my channel. I really appreciate you taking the time to comment.🙏

[@gwenlewis4443]

Thank you, Dr. Ramani, Gemma, for this and the previous video. I am not sure how I discovered Dr. Ramani, but have watched a couple of videos of her being interviewed these past few days and they led me to this channel. I pretty much fit the description of the narcissism magnet, although previous 'relationships' with this kind of person has led me on a journey of growing awareness. I think the wisdom in this and the previous video has really helped me clarify things even more. I have also had quite a lot to do with sociopaths. Just as Dr. Ramani says, this was a very dangerous place to put myself, and I have never really stopped paying the price for those lost years. In the end, I had to walk away, although it was heartbreaking, because I knew that there was a well of loneliness and pain in those people; the humanity that they had shut down to. However, I was drained of all resources and had to start again, rebuild my self-esteem and the very building blocks of my life. My response had been to try and 'rescue' them I guess. But of course I couldn't. The ball's in their court. No one can go into their darkness and change things for them; it's for them to actively seek change, if they are unhappy where they are. In my experience, though, they don't. They just move on to the next. They don't actually move themselves. Decades later, they are still living exactly as they always have. Other people feel worse for them than they feel for themselves. They might feel sorry for themselves and play the victim card, but that never results in any serious step towards positive change. As for narcissistic traits, I can see those in certain people I know. I mean, I have suffered by getting close to them and just came to the conclusion that they were narcissistic. That was the only word that came to mind. One of my friends seems to be at a gentler point on the curve though - the tendencies are there, but there's also another more human side. I think I feel clearer about how to deal with that now: keeping a safe distance and just not engaging with the behaviour when it rears its head. Again, I feel a lot of compassion. There is a starved person beyond all that. I have to watch myself, not to make it my problem. I can't solve it. A lot of people crave validation though, even if they seem like sane, nice people. Deep down, I can see that they are pretty much self-absorbed and it's all dressed up like something else. These are the people who haunt the social media platforms, broadcasting their lives to keep that 'air supply' of attention and validation. It shocks me, but I found this interview helpful. It has given me some kind of permission to 'not go there'.

[@HealthHackers]

I'm so glad this episode was helpful to you! Thank you for watching and commenting. :)

[@Shikor68]

It is so much pleasure listening to you. Thank you very much!

[@HealthHackers]

Thank you for watching!

[@elfridahampton1218]

Wow 😳 narcissism is the new normal!!! It’s is so scary thru!!!!!!!

[@delaw2xoxo269]

I love Dr. Ramani she saved my life.

[@melanielee7228]

Dr. Ramani ... You are just incredible. You totally get what Narcissistic abuse really is, like no other. You have helped me, and countless others so much. Thank you! 💚

[@HealthHackers]

Thanks for watching Melanie! I interviewed Dr R in episode 21 also, in case you wanted to watch another video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oJCqmaarjaafqMU

[@edwardc6288]

Thank you Doctor Ramani for educating us about these awful horrible narcs who negatively affect people. You've helped and saved and made flourish so many lives in the process. God bless.

[@richardbensinger6922]

The light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks Dr Romani. Your one of many that have helped me find it. Recovery rocks.

[@HealthHackers]

🙏

[@madelinesosa1881]

Omg again Dr. RAMANI its like your talking about what I went thru. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Your the best really everytime I listen to you I remember its not me, its that broken person that broke so many layers of me. Its so hard to go back in time or try to repair the damage. ♥️ looking foward to more information. Thank you ♥️🇩🇴

[@kisigma1102]

Yeah 💯🙏

[@Bonnie-fh8up]

Excellent video. Thanks so much for this. I found it both very accurate and useful. I would even say "cutting edge" on the Narcissism awareness stage of today. Thanks again for a great video.

[@HealthHackers]

Thanks for watching and commenting Bonnie!

[@joypdrz]

I love the way Dr. Ramani communicates! She's so smart, and also really beautiful without any makeup ❤️

[@HealthHackers]

Agreed!

[@annaabajian8016]

Thank you so much Dr. Ramani, I just love your passion for this topic and to be an advocate for all the victims that sometimes they really believe that they're crazy because no everyone is informed or understanding deep enough about emotional abuse by a narcissist. I was the empathetic mother and my husband is the Grandiose narcissist which I didn't know enough about this topic until few months ago. I had the Privilege of being a stayed at home Mom to raise our three children worked & did my best to disciple them & raise them with morals, values. Spiritual faith and lots of Gratitude for everything that they have and to have respect for other cultures, olders/seniors. Not knowing my frustration of my husband thinking it was we weren't in the same page raising them, it only lasted until their beginning of their high school, They're out of control no pitching in the house with their responsibilities, because of them growing watching him how he devalued me, disrespect me making me invisible, no voice, now they all three became like him narcissist that I became the bad one of the family, hits a very lonely road, feeling abandoned by my own family but most of it that I stayed in this marriage of 25 years not knowing until now. By watching your videos, will be working in my healing with baby steps. Thank you and God bless you🤲🙏

[@a.k.7424]

Anna, I am so sorry that you feel this loneliness within your family-- I hope you can spend more time with kind, healthy people, friends who actually see you. Take care of yourself, refill your own "inner well." I know how draining it is to spend so much time around selfish, insatiable people.

[@karlasilis-cruz3682]

Thank you so much Dr,Ramani for this information on Narcissism! I have alot of them in my life!

[@HealthHackers]

Thanks for watching Karla!

[@mirananaim5971]

Amazing lady Ramini, knowledgeable and gueniuin, the interviewer is a great listener and knows exactly what to ask and develop, bravo and thanks

[@HealthHackers]

Thank you for the feedback Mirana!

[@tinu0121]

Dr. Ramani, huge respect to you. Your podcasts r helping me a lot.

[@sandracaezza7234]

Dr R you are an advocate for us. In mediation now, not easy but I’m going to stay the coarse. These informative videos keep me sane. Thank you 👍🏻

[@inhale.exhale.2527]

As a product of an incredibly toxic, narcissistic family and society, this is a master class. 👍

[@ginahess4504]

This video...even 2 years old...so on point! So wise...thank you Dr. Ramani!

[@theologytherapist]

Teaching empathy to kids is definitely important! Just as valuable as teaching consent, problem-solving, sharing, and so much more! Nurture has a huge impact on the people we become.

[@BellaZella3000]

I cannot wait to read her book! :-)

[@laura42321]

You will never know how much this has helped me x I'm taking my life back. Finally

[@HealthHackers]

So pleased for you Laura. Thank you for watching and commenting 🙏

[@lexygalloway4282]

Incredibly informative! Was with Marc hubby almost 40 years...what a charmer in the beginning! Took me 4ever to see the real personality. Was also abuse... I finally made escape plan and got out but still suffering after 3+years. Mental and physical health a mess now! Counselors dont seem to "get it"!

[@kalppanagopal7845]

Love you Dr Ramani... There is hope for empaths ..kudos to all your work.. Including advocacy

[@bongoslide]

Yes its taken most of my life to realise big brother is a narcissist, and now know there is no way to talk to him so now I walk away, pointless allowing him in my head and taking my time away from better things thank you :)and I thought he was listening but he was just gathering things to use later in life, and every argument he gets nasty and tries to distract, so now I finally know. So true he blames the world.

[@HealthHackers]

Good on you. Wishing you continued happiness.

[@bongoslide]

@@HealthHackers Thanks but it's my mother who suffers, her one desire is having us all together, and now it's my only weapon to get him out of my head. so there is no one who ins or compromises now :( but thank you

[@angelathornbury3750]

I’m learning how to not feed the narcissist it’s hard but this helps me understand now what I’m doing wrong. And dr Ramani is is an asset to my new found path. I’ve always known about narcissists but I’ve never learned how to handle them.

[@judithjohnson7653]

Dr. Ramani! You’re so helpful. Thank you