TOXIC Side Of Minimalism: 3 Ways Minimalism Can Make You UNHAPPY

Рет қаралды 2,754

Күн бұрын

In today’s vlog, I’m going to open up and share my experience with minimalism and its toxic side. I’ll also show you my latest spring outfits, relaxing Sunday with my mum and a small wardrobe try-on haul 🥰
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The toxic side of minimalism (0:00)
Spring OOTD (15:58)
Relaxing Sunday + GRWM (17:53)
Wardrobe try-on haul with my mum (20:51)

Пікірлер: 69

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

I was a bit nervous to talk about this topic, but I think it’s important to share the toxic side I experienced with minimalism in case you feel the same way 😊 And like I said, let me know your thoughts on this topic as well, I would to hear them ❤

@joinsafari 3 ай бұрын

hy kim, would you also talk about your "minimalism" failures? what did you do wrong, what where wrong thoughts you did etc? this is very interesting for me, because it helps to learn and improve myself

@anadelwrites2144 3 ай бұрын

I think you’re right about the toxic side of minimalism, especially on the internet that I prefer to say I’m pursuing simpler living. On the internet so many will say if you only use it once a year, get rid of fit, well I disagree. I have a plate I only use for my slavski kolač, but it makes me happy to see the kolač on it that I won’t get rid of it. In the same way I have a couple of dresses that only get worn a couple of times a year, and yes I could make a nice outfit with stuff from the rest of the wardrobe, but I like having these two for those special occasions because they make them feel more special simply because they’re not stuff I wear all the time.

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

I agree, simple living is a much better word ❤ And also yes, yes, yes! We should definitely keep items that bring us joy, even if we use them just once in a while. I also never declutter based on how long I didn't use it for, but more on how I feel about it. Thanks for sharing! 🥰

@lynneroute1202 3 ай бұрын

Yes! Very enlightening! I have felt all those feelings. I have decided I am not trying to be a minimalist. I am just on a continuous journey to keep my life uncluttered.

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

I'm glad you enjoyed this! 😊 And it is fascinating, because this is the sentiment of so many people who commented, that even though they like minimalism principles, they aren't trying to be a minimalist because it feels restrictive. And I feel reassured because I thought I was the only one who felt this way. Thanks for sharing, and I agree, keeping our lives clutter-free should be the true goal! 😍

@angelamelum4304 3 ай бұрын

I definitely think you had great points about the minimalism. Thankfully I haven’t decluttered things I regret. However I always feel pressured into getting rid of stuff for the sake of getting down to a certain number of items. Thankfully I haven’t caved. Turning off the majority of fashion content really helped.

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

Absolutely, this pressure to declutter is so unnecessary 😅 Can we just declutter what we don't use and then live in peace, haha 🤣😊

@martinag5173 3 ай бұрын

Also, your relationship with your mum is so special ❤ you're so lucky to have such a supportive mum❤

@federicamanfroi 3 ай бұрын

Analizing is the single biggest gift i received (from you and from other fashion/minimalist youtubers/bloggers). Since the very moment i started to focus on which items made me feel good and why, it was a game changer. Now i can easily let go of stuff it's not a 10 for me, cause i can easily recongnize what is "wrong" for me. I do not even bother to try and item on if i recognize some "less than perfect" aspects. That said, i am not a minimalist by any means, but i am feeling so very better with myself now🥰

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

This is so nice to hear, analysing can be truly life-changing, I'm glad you're loving it too! ❤️

@annamichelle3248 3 ай бұрын

Your thoughts on minimalism resonated with me. I like the explanation of some things as experiential things. I've also felt the same pressure about making purchases.

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

I'm so glad this resonated with you, and thanks for sharing! 🥰

@cecilemayor4037 3 ай бұрын

I especially love your forth point - some people identify as minimalists and get really militant (and obnoxious) about it. Like any radical whatevers are. Excellent video, dear Kim. ♥️♥️♥️♥️

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

Haha, you summed it up so nicely, they really do become so radical it's quite insane 🤣😉

@mariereynolds6430 3 ай бұрын

Brilliant you nailed it about minimalism, you are very wise I’m impressed 🤩🤩🤩

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

Thanks so much! 😊

@heidiarms6624 Ай бұрын

Kim, this is pure, beautiful wisdom. Thank you for sharing your perspective. It reminds me of a Bible verse. "You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." You share a number of essential truths here that set me free. I have wrestled with many similar quandaries about minimalism. They made me skeptical of the lifestyle from the beginning so I had not embraced it. Yet I still had fleeting feelings of guilt for dismissing it as legitimate healthy lifestyle. This presentation is spot on. You clearly, articulately and beautifully gave voice to the truth regarding each of my misgivings. I have been set free. Thank you.

@KimBedene Ай бұрын

Aw, this means so much, I’m glad you feel free and that you can apply minimalism in ways that feels right to you ❤️

@yap4808 3 ай бұрын

Loved this,you gave me a new way of looking at minimalism,thanks❤😊

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

I'm glad you enjoyed it! ❤️

@instamash 3 ай бұрын

I like your points about minimalism, especially about the gatekeeping. "You're not a true minimalist if you have x or y or this many of z." I remember a long time ago, there was a channel where a woman and her partner lived in a bare apartment, put away the bed every morning because it was "clutter" otherwise, had one set of clothes, practically no possessions and absolutely no sentimental pieces. I could go on and on about how silly, restricting, and impractical it looked (though I idealized it at one point), but anyway - it was one of those things that was so absurd, it made me stop self-identifying as a minimalist. It's okay to want things, especially items that make your life more convenient in this fast-paced day and age. I myself felt relief when I "gave in" and stopped repressing the urge to want things - I just always try and pace myself not to overdo it if I decide to shop wants rather than needs. That most likely doesn't make me a minimalist despite not owning a lot of things, but at least I don't have to wallow in self-imposed guilt when I buy something.

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

Haha, this made me laugh out loud because I can only imagine the inconvenience 🤣😅 And I totally get it, once I “gave in” I felt such relief and joy, I honestly didn’t care about following weird minimalist rules anymore. I do my best to stay clutter-free and shop mindfully and for me that’s enough. I do use word minimalist or minimalism for people to find me as I said, but if I didn’t have a channel I probably wouldn’t obsess if I’m a minimalist or not, hehe because it’s not that important overall 😬 As long as we’re happy that’s all that matters. Thanks for sharing! ❤️

@debrastewart6714 3 ай бұрын

Hello Kim, you are so right ! Yummy I love shakes 🌺🌟😊💕

@amyhoover9 3 ай бұрын

I've always carried the belief that minimalism is about more than just decluttering your possessions, so with all the points you talked about, I agree with them wholeheartedly! In particular, I love what you said about the identity issues that can come from adopting such a lifestyle. Individuality is okay, even within minimalism. None of our lifestyles are the same, and the constant need to project or compare ourselves to other people doesn't help.

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

You said it beautifully, individuality is okay, we all have different wants and needs and that’s okay ❤️ Thanks for sharing!

@leastidyworld4365 3 ай бұрын

I have never heard a minimalist say that things make you happy. They tend to say the opposite: how happiness is not to be found in stuff, and how you can become content with less. Also, today I decluttered my full Maybe Box (and I filmed it for YT, it’ll come out on Thursday 3pm UK time). I’m proud of myself as I decluttered the majority of the stuff that was in the box to begin with.

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

That’s exactly what I was talking about, minimalists believe things can not make you happy, but I believe they can (depending on the circumstances of course) 😊

@rebeccabelflower7767 2 ай бұрын

I think we can want more, or wish we could have a better upgrade, etc… and still be grateful for what we have. The secret for me being happy is in finding the good and what I have and being mindful of what else I bring into my life.

@KimBedene 2 ай бұрын

Beautifully said, I love this! ❤️

@szfrj 3 ай бұрын

Really enjoyed hearing your points! Especially resonating with the unspoken pressure that if you buy anything it will always have to be a ‘forever’ item. Life changes, our possessions serve our life, not the other way around 👏🏻 I have a problem with minimalism when it tries to minimise ALL aspects of life. For me, there is joy fun and creativity in dressing myself. So I will never have a Steve Jobs wardrobe just for the sake of being more minimal. Other people might love spending time in the kitchen using all the gadgets etc, but are happy with 5 black jeans and 5 T shirts 🤷🏻‍♀️ so it’s not nice putting pressure on yourself to keep everything minimal in your life at the cost of joy

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

Oh I love what you said here - our possessions serve our lives, not the other way around. Because ironically sometimes minimalism is too focused on stuff, to the point of suffering 😅 And I feel exactly the same way! I spend money and time on dressing myself, clothes, makeup, skincare etc. because that is what truly excites me. But I have other areas of my life that I don't really care about where I own very little. That I believe is the beauty of minimalism, but some people unfortunately don't recognise we have different passions. That's the reason I created this channel, because I didn't see a lot of minimalists that embraced and loved fashion, and I wanted to show it's okay to be that ❤️ Thanks for sharing! 🥰

@sandramaki7819 3 ай бұрын

Omg 😱! You have summarized the toxic sides of minimalism SO WELL!,! Thank you! I completely agree with you. This is such a valuable insight ❤❤❤❤

@martinag5173 3 ай бұрын

I've just started watching it and my first thought was you look so different, so relaxed! And I'm here for it😊

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

Yessss, I wanted to make this video for a while, and I can honestly say it feels like a weight of my shoulders, I'm glad you see that as well! 🥰

@martinag5173 3 ай бұрын

Absolutely agree, wanting more=growing ❤ I'm a minimalist but I also own more than I ever thought I would. Like my LV bag or a beautiful home😊 that's why i love your channel, we are on the same wave lenght😉❤️

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

Yay, this makes so happy! ❤️

@szfrj 3 ай бұрын

Your hair looks lovely 😉

@reneedumont2474 3 ай бұрын

I don't consider myself a minimalist, but I have taken some of the tips from it for decluttering to help simplify my and my families life, and as a stay a home wife and mother, it has taken so much weight of all of our shoulders and it makes our home so much easier to maintain. But we don't want to be minimalist because we enjoy our collections lol

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

I totally get your point, one doesn't need to call themselves a minimalist in order to implement minimalist strategies that are useful. Thanks for sharing, and enjoy your collections! ❤️

@lolmakeup5786 3 ай бұрын

What did you put in your shake?? It looks good! Could you do what you eat in a day?

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

I shared my recipe in this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/fWKldYipfr-Ip9E 🥰 And yes, I can do one of those in my future vlogs ❤️

@mareemehmet3155 3 ай бұрын

I certainly agree. I've never identified as a minimalist. I believe many people do need to go through a major decluttering period, if they don't know themselves properly and have been trying to meet external requirements for an extended time. This decluttering often extends well beyond things, and can be about decluttering relationships, thinking, habits, etc. And then regular checks to remove what isn't needed anymore is a good thing. I see that as a type of spiritual hygiene. But when people continue to an obsessive and extreme state, then I think it's disordered thinking. Anything that pushes to the point of being dogma, is a big red flag (in my opinion).

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

Oh, I love your take on this, spiritual hygiene is such a great phrase to describe intentional decluttering and designing the life you want. I love it, thanks for sharing ❤️

@lolmakeup5786 3 ай бұрын

Can you please show how you shape your nails? (: they’re so pretty. What color is on them?

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

Thank you! And I mean I can, but I don't do anything special, just use a glass nail file to create a shape I like 😊 And the colour is one coat of Sabrina from Zoya 😍

@gcy5xj 3 ай бұрын

The earrings you got from your mother look great on you, and your hair is completely healthy and shiny! Did Olaplex make it so beautiful? Although, in the case of one of the disadvantages of minimalism, I have a slightly different opinion. I think that the outside affects the inside, just as the inside affects the outside. In the same way that, for example, power posing affects the state of mind. I mean, I obviously had internal needs during the difficult moments in my life, but if I cleaned up my surroundings, decluttered my wardrobe or things in the house, maybe bought something that was 10 out of 10, it made me feel much better, and it made the process to move forward internally much faster. The problem may have been internal, but by changing external things it was easier to deal with it.

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

Thank you! And good eye, I've actually started using two Moroccan oil products. The first is the hair oil I apply to my damp hair after washing it. And then I also use the restorative hair mask every other week. I had this routine years back, and when I was looking at some of my old videos I noticed my hair was looking a lot better then, so I switched back to these products and voila, I can see a difference right away 😍 And I actually agree with your point that the outside affects the inside, and I talked about this exact thing in my Why to always look your best video. But at the same time, I feel there are limits to that, and if you only work on the outside world you won't get the desired results. I also found myself decluttering my home when I was unhappy with other areas of my life, only to realise that didn't change anything (luckily this was a long time ago 🙈). But this is definitely a very interesting discussion, and I always say if you have a belief system that works for you, honour it! Thanks so much for sharing ❤️

@gcy5xj 3 ай бұрын

@@KimBedene

@julielanderjensen480 3 ай бұрын

Oh minimalism at it's best or? I know the feeling of being paralysed in the shops, so uncomfortable and turns almost crying away because you feel so bad about not be sure enough, if you like the piece in ten years. I practice myself to be better to let me buy something I really like - also the items I dont necessary have put on a wishlist, but just is an inmediately yes

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

Oh, I can so relate to the almost crying feeling in the store, it truly isn't fun 😅 And absolutely, we should allow ourselves to be spontaneous and enjoy our lives without overthinking or trying to be perfect, we can only do our best ❤️ Thanks for sharing Julie! 🥰

@julielanderjensen480 3 ай бұрын

Also your mom looks amazing in her new purchases

@julielanderjensen480 3 ай бұрын

@@KimBedene You are so welcome ❤️ And so right at the same time ❤️🥰❤️

@szfrj 3 ай бұрын

❤

@majatodorovic8683 3 ай бұрын

Hear me out- try frozen bananas for your smoothies if you aren't using them already. My favorite one is when I put a handful of almonds with a glass of water in my NutriBullet and mix-and after I add one or two frozen bananas. It's divine.

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

Uuu, sounds like a great idea, I will definitely give it a try, thank you! ☺️❤️

@majatodorovic8683 3 ай бұрын

@KimBedene Trust me you'll love it 😄 It' s like a shake that you order in a coffee shop, it's nutty and creamy. My personal favorite is with almonds, tried hazelnuts but they are not as sweet. 🥰❤️

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

Yay, now I'm getting all excited! I will try it will almonds 😍

@leastidyworld4365 3 ай бұрын

9:44 Being paralysed in store doesn’t sound weird at all. I always used to not be able to make up my mind in store (because I wanted the item but thought I should save money) (it was so annoying).

@ccscatena 3 ай бұрын

I don't agree with the first point, and for the second and third point I fell into an opposite minimalist trap: the eternal cycle of buying and decluttering. I feel like many times minimalism ends up bringing more consumerism, because you enter this search for the best minimalist X thing, for example, you might already have a pair of sneakers, a pair of winterboots and some flipflops... But that is not minimalist enough! You need to buy the perfect all terrain shoes that are warm, you can wear at the gym, but they are also waterproof so you wear at the beach, but also for hiking, even if you haven't hiked in 7 years. OK, you got the all occasion shoes... But they are not made of merino wool?? Not good enough, everything you have must be made of merino wool!! I had to teach myself that the best minimalist item is the one you already have and use 😅

@KimBedene 3 ай бұрын

Yes, I can so see your point, because everything is super focused on the number of items, one feels they have to find perfect "hybrids", that probably don't even exist, hah 😅 I agree, it's okay to own something that has only one purpose and the best items are the ones we already own 😊

@ines4242 3 ай бұрын

I think lots of thoose extreme-minimalist things are not really realistic in society. For example I don‘t think you are supposed to wear your diety outside shoes for the gym. Or having too little clothes. I guess you can male woth few things different outfits but you‘ll need to wash the clothes. Are they running a washing machine everyday for 2 items while wearing the other only 2 items they own?