How Do I Say No To My Addicted Child? www.treehouserecovery.com More Info about Our Family Therapy and Counseling Program treehouserecovery.com/support... 855) 274-1040
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@sammy284011 ай бұрын
All the arguments in the world couldn’t heal me! I had to go in patient 30 days, and to a sober house for 365 days! Recovered now for 15 years! It was miserable being an addict! The obsession has finally gone away! Thank God!
@steph549410 ай бұрын
God bless you! Congratulations! ❤
@annkamau6729Ай бұрын
Glory to God.
@debskoog470821 күн бұрын
Well done❤
@nelliebanman159120 күн бұрын
❤❤❤
@cherylvand7 күн бұрын
God bless you. You give me hope for my son. ❤
@sky2461 Жыл бұрын
"Honesty without compassion is brutal. Compassion without honesty is enabling."
@nailsdeb Жыл бұрын
My son is very sick 😢. Not a minute Not a single second do I have peace. Thank you for this 🙏❤️
@dawnmchenry945111 ай бұрын
I am SO very sorry! Me.Too! My "boy" is 38!!!
@eliane508011 ай бұрын
I'm so sorry. Its so difficult to disconnect. I'm trying to put my worries in prays. God bless your family.
@conniescher335911 ай бұрын
I’m so sorry you are going through this. My daughter is an alcoholic. I feel like it’s killing me.
@TheMabes6911 ай бұрын
I feel your pain.
@carolburnette201910 ай бұрын
@@conniescher3359My son has Schizoaffective. I understand. I am so sorry 🙏
@donaw1 Жыл бұрын
I have been through hell for years and at 68 I’ve decided I want to enjoy my own life free and clear of chaos of my adult childrens’ addictions. They are not asking for help, but they don’t appear to want to fix their addiction either. I love all of them very much and it’s so hard to stand back and watch them destroy their lives. However, I do believe they have a choice to get help or not. It seems a lot of focus is what the parents can do to help their children. I love what you say Karen about putting our own oxygen mask on first… Finally.
@flawlessstrategy997211 ай бұрын
When I have to tell my soon-to-be homeless brother that he can't live with me. Because I MUST have a chaos-free life. I will not sacrifice myself for his addictions!
@TheMabes6911 ай бұрын
@@flawlessstrategy9972 I'm in the same boat with my brother. Middle of the night calls from hospital ERs, the landlord, random nurses and social workers for the last 4 years. When I see his number pop up I feel triggered. I cannot do this anymore. On Tuesday I am taking my first vacation in 7 years and there will be no phone calls answered. After that, his number will be blocked except for a chosen 4 hr period weekly. I'll call him back if I feel like it. In the meantime...Alanon.
@carolburnette201910 ай бұрын
@@flawlessstrategy9972How are you doing?
@amandawhitis87886 ай бұрын
These comments could help you sis
@marciahill70164 ай бұрын
I'm 74 n ill. I'm going through he'll. So pleased I've discovered this channel. So alone in my private hell
@amandamasarik10474 ай бұрын
My 24 year old son has a drug addiction. Last summer he got clean and was great until a week ago. He relapsed. It totally changes his mental state. He sounds psychotic. He was living with us and got verbally abusive and made our home unpeaceful. A few days ago he left and is living on the streets. We see him and it breaks my heart. We have tried to get help for him and the police and courts won't or can't help because he is an adult. Telling him no and knowing he might sleep in a ditch or worse is torture for me.
@Blue-in3ec2 ай бұрын
Sorry
@bernadettefuhrmann15452 ай бұрын
It was for me too... I got so sick because I had to leave him on the streets. And he is 47! A mother's need to care for and protect her child never ends. It is so much a part of who we are, especially when they are in trouble. And we will do over and over again, and at all costs! I finally got too sick to do it any more, so I reached out to the outreach workers and I put him in God's care. This video is a life saver for me. So is the one on Codependency and Addiction. I highly recommend it! She understands us.❤
@tracylh28 күн бұрын
My son has just become homeless from drug addiction… thank you & God Bless you all for sharing here … I need you so much. My heart is aching 😭😭😭
@darlasmith50495 ай бұрын
I’m going to watch this everyday till it sticks in my head
@deelux593 ай бұрын
I feel you on this one
@objectperson2 ай бұрын
Amen
@cherylvand7 күн бұрын
Same
@alexandrefrappier98910 ай бұрын
I find that saying no is easy, the hard part for me is remaining calm and respectful when people have no respect for my bonderies
@montanagal6958 Жыл бұрын
"You are dealing with an addiction that is not reasonable", LOVE THAT! "Compassion without honesty is enabling". WOW!
@tommybootlegger8 ай бұрын
Ma'am if I was in the same room as you, I would hug you. This was a big help for me today. Thank you, and God bless.
@iamjane962810 ай бұрын
This was immensely helpful. I grew up with an alcoholic parent. My adult brother is an active alcoholic, currently being enabled by my parents. There is not a day that my life is not affected in some way by this. Thank you.
@youareIndenial9813 ай бұрын
I feel for the people with sick children.
@jtsays429 Жыл бұрын
it's the yelling and bullying and name-calling until he gets his way... that's so hard, and he won't move out.
@TreeHouseRecovery Жыл бұрын
You should definitely give us a call. We can help. (855) 202-2138
@Robin-vv1by16 күн бұрын
The hardest part is getting help when it cost so much money
@kathleenmorris93099 ай бұрын
Never bring your kids down.. Lift them up.. Show them love.. Pray to Jesus.. My son is set free..
@valerieshepherd68232 жыл бұрын
There is no half way with addicts. You have to draw a line in the sand and say don't cross it. The consequences are dire... you'll die.
@user-ju4xf2yi4i10 ай бұрын
I'm in the same boat. Peace is something scarce for me. I feel like I'm living in a dark deep hole!
@stacymandarino2765 Жыл бұрын
My son is an addict with severe mental illness . I have been in this codependency hampster wheel. It’s heart wrenching the pain is so deep. I’ve been enabling him for 16 years . I run whenever he’s in crisis he has no food I bring food he needs money Bc he owes people and there going to hurt him. People I’ve kicked out of his apartment that shouldn’t be there. His apartment is not even livable for a human. I’ve advocated for him with drs etc . Called adult protective services they did nothing . I’m afraid of all the things if I don’t help him . He’s been hurt by people. Idk what to do anymore I’m literally physically ill I have all kinds of medical problems extreme anxiety depression. I think about him all the time . I’m a shell of myself to the point I feel like such a failure I have two other children and my attention is always on my addicted son . He actually just called5 times in a row and I didn’t answer. Now I’m crying Bc I’m thinking of all the horrible possibilities. He goes to the store to use there phone he doesn’t have a cell phone Bc he sells them or the people he lets in his apartment steal them . I need help to and I feel selfish for that .
@katherinequesada7382 Жыл бұрын
I hear you loudly with 3 sons of my own. It will kill you mama, you are paying the consequences for his choices. Everything youve done so far hasnt helped right? Are you in a program? You need a lot of support while you are growing through this. Ive been there Mom and it does get better when you change tbere no sense in you you both drowning. Prayers and hugs. Its the most difficult thing to go through my heart hurts for you.
@sharonendler1467 Жыл бұрын
Oh precious Stacy! So much like me and so many other mammas out there.
@keepmeposted Жыл бұрын
🙏
@Karenmariew5431 Жыл бұрын
I feel for you! I am in the same exact boat for the past 19 years.having a Son that's an addict and has a mental illness is the most difficult, stressful thing i have ever had to deal with! It's a complete nightmare! Big hugs! I understand! 😢😢😢😢
@nancystinger7393 Жыл бұрын
I just read your comment on this video. It is almost identical to my situation. You are not alone and I can feel your painful heart because I know the pain very well. We live in Los Angeles my son was homeless for five years and a year ago was stabbed and hospitalized. He was granted housing after he healed. I go to see him and bring him food and always clean his apartment. There have been times I asked people to leave because they don’t respect his place . I come back home and cry and I’m so deeply sad . It’s small steps at a time for us mothers . Our children become our own addiction. I am now doing small things for myself each day one day at a time. This may be your only child as my son is my only and I was a single parent. He is now 34. I am finding that we must give them a chance if just one thing to show them we trust them to take care of it even if it’s s phone call. If they don’t do it we can’t feel guilty and torture Ourselves . I also believe they need to see us living a life I think enabling them makes them feel they are incapable and don’t trust in their abilities. It is the hardest thing ever but I know my son wants to see me happy living a life that is rewarding as it is being who we say we want them to be. I wish you the best in this journey healing for you and your son .
@keepmeposted Жыл бұрын
I realized I have to wait to respond with a family member who only texts me when they are drunk, high... It's not perfect, but responding right away just makes it way worse and digs a hole. This is helpful.
@victoriaoshea4865 Жыл бұрын
" I love you. I care about you. NO "
@Teriyaki-vj8ny Жыл бұрын
Working on my codependency for a long time and this video was a blessing today 😢 My Son is a 31yr old alcoholic and his Aunt thinks it's "my turn" to let him stay here just for a night poor Dad at wits end ETC....Then it went into a tit for tat...... SO frustrating when all are not on board. This helps me REFOCUS! Just remembering to BREATHE and come from a place of intelligence not emotions. Because I reacted in defense today Ugggh. Even though I think I'm on the right track, 💥 I'm not working my program. ALWAYS learning. Coming from ACOA brings it's own challenges. I'm not in therapy right now because I've been unwell. Thankful to find videos like this. 🕊️❤️🕯️Breathe Teri. This too shall pass. 🙏✝️🙏
@evonne3159 ай бұрын
Exellent tutorial thank you!! My problem has been enabling toxic behaviour, which is also an addiction. My ex was highly narcissistic, my friends just used me. I been dealing with it since childhood to the point I cant trust myself around people. I just give myself away. I ended up sick with a bunch of things at once, basically severe chronic fatigue, malaise, anhedonia. Its not worth it. Had to detox from people and heal 3 years now. Begin life again with strong boundaries and self care at the upmost. This video is really helping I have someone hounding me with an "emergency" right now that I already told I am too sick to help her right now. Now I know what to say.
@charlenebercillio8065 Жыл бұрын
Ty I really needed this video. I have son on fentanyl, meth. 😢
@lynncarlson15435 ай бұрын
My nephew did DIE of a heroine overdse but by God's Grace I have Peace and Thank The LORD that he is with Our LORD now. ❤ This is to encourage anyone who faced this loss just to Know that the Creator Loves them more than we do. THANK GOD
@harpgal99508 ай бұрын
Just had to do the "no" to request for money a few days ago. There was no conversation, just plunged right into the request after not communicating with me for 9 months. I know I sounded harsh, but the "no" had to cut off son's lies and manipulations. Result - he promptly hung up without a word. That told me all I needed to know. Despite double digit rehab stays, he is not really in recovery.
@user-uo6pn1io1r14 сағат бұрын
I know it’s been two years since you posted this but I can’t tell you how much it has helped me. Thank you so so much. I’m a librarian and have noone who knows the struggle. Your words are priceless to me❤
@theresaosburn79862 жыл бұрын
I am so grateful for program ... I am suffering.. I am in constant flight mode... my youngest son of four boys ... now men .. is an addict .. and things have gotten so bad... and I have done everything wrong for yrs ... I live in constant fear for my son ... I'm just so happy to find this talk ... ty.
@TreeHouseRecovery2 жыл бұрын
How can we help?
@heatherclocher87958 ай бұрын
I listen to this video after I have talked to my Mother who is in her 80's and has been addicted to pills her whole life. She also lives with my alcoholic brother that is in his 50's and never got sober. Today she called to ask me to go to the pharmacy and I said no unfortunately it was the angry no she talks about in the video. It helps to watch this so I can be easy on myself and hopefully do better next time. Thank you for sharing your experience strength and hope! Really saved me again today from the downward spiral in my thoughts. Thank you.
@kelavallee Жыл бұрын
THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS BECAUSE I AM GOING THROUGH HELL WITH MY SON'S ADDICTION I HAVEN'T SLEPT PROPERLY IN YEARS I TRY AND BE STRONG AND TRY NOT TO ENABLE BUT AS SOON AS HE IS REALLY IN A BAD WAY I COME TO HIS RESCUE AND ALL THAT HAPPENS IS WE ARE AT ODDS AGAIN ANOTHER HOLIDAY IS NULL AND VOID CHRISTMAS WAS RUINED AND NOW EASTER MY MOST PRECIOUS HOLIDAYS THAT BOTH OF MY CHILDREN ENJOYED PRACTICED AND SHARED WITH ME I HAVE CAVED OVER AND OVER AGAIN
@benetina Жыл бұрын
My story also….. just trying to figure it all out and what to do. It’s an emotional roller coaster. I pray for strength & peace!
@momione114 ай бұрын
Both my parents are addicts. That's how it is in the bone marrow. I became like an adult to my parents at the age of 7. I, in turn, late. When I start dating. I'm then drawn to addicts. I don't know anything else. But I do know the actual chaos in my stomach when I encounter this. So drawn to the energy in this. Only now in 50 years old seen what happens. When I encounter this. Is it that I automatically start servicing and become a doormat. My body knows before me. It remembers. But finally got the whole puzzle of life in front of me. But a painful journey to remove my father from a pedistal. See my parents for real. Is not judgmental.But can see them as children.But so glad I broke a pattern.This goes way back.Lived the same pattern as my parents but as a co-dependent.Falled together.But life has started to brighten.Seeing something different ahead. Also to never again become an abandholic and serve to my death. No more ever.
@aliciahasler48562 ай бұрын
Wow this story is totally like mine
@beasaroseco5840 Жыл бұрын
No is a complete sentence. Exactly!
@lg60414 ай бұрын
This was so helpful for me. My daughter has been an alcoholic who seems to be addicted to abusive men too. She has lost her children and doesn’t seem to have a “rock bottom”. Thank you for letting me know I am doing the right thing now.
@Wendy-eb2tlАй бұрын
My daughter as well. I wish you all the best. It is so hard to deal with. We are taking care of our 5 year old grandson. He wants his mom so much. We are 65 and 70 years old and not sure how long we can do this.
@Jeangrey5672 ай бұрын
Wise and wonderful presentation. My qualifier is clean, but "fixing" my own codependence is an ongoing project. There are lots of gems in this talk. Totally worth re-watching.
@victoriaoshea4865 Жыл бұрын
This truth hurts, but I will do what you ask as I want my son to live.
@user-uo6pn1io1r13 сағат бұрын
I can’t believe you know exactly what happens!
@AsiaGuy20257 ай бұрын
Very wise advice "let me think about it" then construct a "no". Thank you.
@susanvansteen13152 жыл бұрын
Using Karen's wisdom has given me so much strength in dealing with myself. I found that I crippled my son with my constant pin-balling in dealing with him in the past. Thank you for sharing her wisdom in these videos, and for sharing her with The Addict's Mom™ group.
@TreeHouseRecovery2 жыл бұрын
karen also runs a parent group that is open to the public. IF you would like more information you can message admissions@treehouserecovery.com
@allisona9490 Жыл бұрын
This is one of the best videos I've seen on this❤️
@laurelb2902 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this. You are brilliant. I have to say no today and it’s been tearing me apart. You helped tremendously. Thank you again. Best wishes to you and your sons!
@kimpalmer42942 жыл бұрын
Man! She knows exactly what goes on in my head! Thank you Karen! I think I may need to replay this .. like daily. Your calm manner helps me make sense out of the "senseless". We here at The Addict's Mom™ benefit so much from these videos!
@TreeHouseRecovery2 жыл бұрын
Kim, karen also runs a parent group that is open to the public. IF you would like more information you can message admissions@treehouserecovery.com
@carolburnette201910 ай бұрын
@@TreeHouseRecoveryYou were recommended by my therapist. Thank you
@vickyhollingsworth95956 ай бұрын
Oh my gosh. Karen's videos have changed my life. Literally saved me from insanity.
@katherinequesada7382 Жыл бұрын
I've been I. Program for 5 years now. Still struggling but definitely helps to cope. Let go of son 3 he's doing awesome you'd think that after that I'd be ready to let go of his brother, son 2 but no, it was harder. It was easier to deny because he, when sober, seemed so normal. Now son 4 seems even more normal but he's not he has 3 addictions he's dealing with and not getting better. My heart is so sad as what im facing in letting him go. I'm exhausted going through these exhausting exercises of letting go. It's scary even with my higher power holding me. We are worth it and deserving of peace joy serenity and they deserve to be free from addictions. Be well and prayers for all of you.
@Teriyaki-vj8ny Жыл бұрын
Lifting you up in prayer 🙏✝️🙏
@lesleygordon52627 күн бұрын
Thankyou so much. I'm so glad to have stumbled upon you. I've had 20 years with a son who is an alcoholic ❤❤❤
@drjsauber28798 ай бұрын
Incredibly helpful. Thank you so much!
@Mebbe30811 ай бұрын
Every thing you’ve said is exactly right. Thanks
@HonorJustice-Davis2 ай бұрын
Happy to have found this. Thank you.
@jaesapapillon280111 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing this!!!
@serafinamauro92648 ай бұрын
Thank you for this video, you explain things so well and clearly.
@TEPO-- Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much, for sharing your insights, approaches, etc. Thank you.
@charlottesank9260 Жыл бұрын
❤ Thank you so so much for sharing.
@tomatlanta2665 Жыл бұрын
Well done ~ well said ‼️
@flawlessstrategy997211 ай бұрын
Stellar video! Thanks!
@mommafinch37542 жыл бұрын
Wow!!! That was powerful
@Alexis33EE7 ай бұрын
Thank you so much! This is extremelly helpful!
@mindfulmarie-5 ай бұрын
This is amazing thanks so much for sharing your personal knowledge x
@traceysakals6359 Жыл бұрын
Thank you.
@WanderingNature Жыл бұрын
Thank you!❤
@rosarioquiroga8300 Жыл бұрын
Thank you ,🕊🙏
@anne-yo3mc11 ай бұрын
This was such a good reminder. So affirming. And you’re right. We don’t have to do this alone. ❤️
@karenbegeman29122 жыл бұрын
So helpful!
@oliviaacosta6239 Жыл бұрын
Thank you very much. This helps a lot
@OurBlessedHope13 ай бұрын
You are a blessing! Thank you so much! No is no👍
@staceysakkinen127010 ай бұрын
Your video by far has been the most helpful and practical video I've seen. Thank you!!!!
@flowingstrings Жыл бұрын
Thank you
@robertafierro55924 ай бұрын
Very good video. Theres alot of really great info here. In fact, im listening this a second time!
@johnnyalexander7910 Жыл бұрын
You’re increíble, I have made every mistake you’ve pointed out. This helped me a lot, thank you.
@PH-hw5nx Жыл бұрын
Thankyou so so much
@ransbarger7 ай бұрын
This is good stuff coming from a vet. Thank you
@dpglasser2 жыл бұрын
Your a really smart lady.
@TreeHouseRecovery2 жыл бұрын
Karen is vary wise. We are glad she is on the Tree House Recovery team. Thanks you for your comment.
@g.37354 ай бұрын
Thank you so much
@maureenmellott57389 ай бұрын
many thanks.
@the_review_lady_channel2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing your hard won wisdom. We see your strength and hard won love and caring help for us.
@TreeHouseRecovery2 жыл бұрын
You are so welcome.
@edercamargo484411 ай бұрын
Thank you ❤
@PurpleReelsАй бұрын
I love your voice and I came on this channel after being directed to another channel. I appreciate your delivery. No, is a complete sentence. I needed to hear this.
@TreeHouseRecoveryАй бұрын
We are happy to hear this video is helpful.
@6rubies Жыл бұрын
Thank you!!!!
@kizzymulcaster60572 ай бұрын
Thankyou for sharing this video its been Very insightful
@rosemaine648 Жыл бұрын
What the consequences are if they refuse to accept boundaries? Is it okay to cut them off from coming to our home as a consequence? When it becomes dangerous and they refuse treatment for 20 years is it okay that you love them from a distance? We make sure they are safe, but how to communicate if they are drunk it is a waste of time.
@BARF_FACE_900010 ай бұрын
Thank you for your insight. The bit around 9:02 onward about the dread that starts to creep in after setting boundaries or refusing to enable or be manipulated through whichever avenues is something I struggle to address properly… or the worry about … what the person may do. To themselves or others when in an extreme state… maybe I am projecting somewhat.
@debraestep82315 күн бұрын
This was so helpful and exactly what I needed to hear!!!!! Thank you so much and my heart goes out to you as well. I know I have to break my co-dependency. and I want to!!! They don’t like the word no… lol! I haven’t said it very much, but I’m going to. Thank you again!!!!
@ajfortmyers2 жыл бұрын
Very powerful.. thank you…!
@TreeHouseRecovery2 жыл бұрын
Glad you getting value from this information!
@Godschild5290911 ай бұрын
You make so much sense. I have to startvsaying no.
@savedsealed10799 ай бұрын
My heart goes out to a friend of mine whose son has been arrested this week for a substantial amount of drug possession. He’s 20 & 2 yrs in with his addiction. My husband is a recovering addict and we know the pain all to well after years of fighting this battle. My only child lost her biological father to an overdose 14 yrs ago. Learning to love the addict with loving boundaries are essential and I appreciate this channel so much. So much valuable insight and guidance that is priceless. I’ll be sharing this channel with my friend! I wish y’all were here in Alabama!
@marcilk75342 ай бұрын
My son is really mad at me because he was getting high on ketamine and stopped answering my calls. I told him I’ll have a wellness check if he doesn’t answer within a period of time. He told me never to call the police on him, what if he got arrested for drug possession, etc. He had no grasp of reality that it’s not normal to worry about this stuff. If he wasn’t doing something illegal, he wouldn’t have to worry, and that I’m not responsible for his poor decisions.
@lizychacko67789 ай бұрын
My motherinlaw doesn't understand all these dynamics,many mothers are doing this... Daughters in law try to explain,but they have intervened to disrupt the whole process of addiction. Codependency of wives on husband,mothers on sons. Thank you so much for this insight.
@pantherinae_art Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this. I have one close friend who is an alcoholic and another is a heroin addict, and I struggle with setting my boundaries and protecting myself. I want to help and support them as best I can, but giving them money etc isn't the answer. I've had a boundary crossed recently and I found it very hurtful, and I've been researching how best to move forwards. I love my friends so much. It scares me seeing them hurt themselves, but I know I can't fix it, they have to do it themselves. It doesn't help that I have my own mental health issues too 🙈
@marcysikes Жыл бұрын
I cannot emphasize too much the importance of Al-Anon for learning how to love without enabling! I am so very thankful that a counselor suggested that Al-Anon might help me! I’m not perfect but I am making progress.
@PatriciaDAngelo-io2jz2 ай бұрын
Thank you for this….. I’m going to try very hard to use all this information the next time that call/text comes
@TreeHouseRecovery2 ай бұрын
Good luck!
@lisafinch30064 ай бұрын
Your talking my Mommy mind heart and soul..broken and making changes in MY LIFE DAILY..BREATH WORK. I've REACTED WRONG FOR 60YRS..lost my 31yr old Son to drug addiction..losing my 38yr old daughter to disease of addiction and my 40yr old daughter trying to understand..I'm destroyed. Y shame guilt..I myself suffered from addiction....no is a complete sentence..I love my 600 +++ days of Alcohol Free choices and living. The disease of addiction has destroyed my family unit but never my Love ..Today I've Changed..God knows my Journey Pain Joy..no more guilt shame sadness. It's ok to let go.
@heathershabits9 ай бұрын
8:47 this hits me so hard… apologizing for wanting someone to be sober and healthy… second guessing everything. The breathing exercises have really helped!❤
@Maggied504 ай бұрын
I cried through this whole thing.
@vintagebabyseventythree62445 ай бұрын
Going through this with my brother.
@janeviscolosi645511 ай бұрын
Bix breathing ...Yes!! Thank you!
@julie00605 ай бұрын
This is the most painful thing in the world. It’s made me sick with anxiety/depression. I feel that witnessing addiction in my own son now will kill me. 🙏🙏🙏
@jcastro912357 ай бұрын
Omg this is so true I go through this and lately I have been seeing that in me like I’m the problem cuAse I escalate so much becuase I know what they are going to ask
@janiceclark-espinoza17067 күн бұрын
Do you do private counseling ? Everything your talking about is exactly what Im going through with my 32 year old son who is addicted to alcohol, meth and weed. In 2019 he jumped off the Coronado Bridge in San Diego CA. He survived but ended up with a severe spinal cord injury and a crushed hand. After 4 months in the trauma unit he was released. I brought him home. And my life has been a living hell ever since. Countless rehabs where he just walks away. Numerous apartments left in shambles or calls from management not wanting him there anymore. We have sent him on so many fresh starts out of state out of pure desperation of wanting peace. Every single time within a couple weeks or maybe a month and then the cycle begins again. He uses my fear of him killing himself as a weapon to manipulate me. That part you said about when your phone rings is a trigger is so true for me too, but you gave me a few ideas about how to handle those situations that Im going to try. You gave me a different way to think about it like Im not giving him the opportunity to experience the consequences of his actions and grow. I like that. Any other advice I will surely appreciate. Thanks for giving me a place to vent. Best regards Janice
@beckym67512 жыл бұрын
In the moment that my alcoholic starts asking why is this happening to me, is when he is under the influence. If I say, “Let’s talk when your sober”, then that conversation never happens, or if I gently bring up at the sober moment, I get shut down to further conversation. Currently I move on. Is that ok to do? I don’t move on angrily, I just know that he’s not really ready.
@montanagal6958 Жыл бұрын
blame game, the world is against me, give em a reason to drink/use, for the rest of us that face life sober, it's disgusting
@annettegamble9642 Жыл бұрын
I am exactly the same with my partner. He dosnt see that it's hurting his family. I can't talk gently with him abt this when sober either. However sometimes he does appear to be genuine but I feel he just does to keep the peace. I get the same excuses all the time. I'm sorry I love you im trying my best everyday. When he does have a break he gets the shakes. Hie has high blood pressure and over weight. His been told to CUT DOWN by his dr but binges after a few days off it. I've told my son who is 13 that if dad asks for help and decides to reach put would you support him with me he said absolutely I will. So in a few days time I'm going to randomly start the conversation infront of our son and say to his dad that we will support you when you decide to reach out for help all the way. Until then from this day when you ask me to purchase alcohol or money for it Wether it's yours or mine to buy it the answer will be know. I'm not responsible for your reaction to that.
@annettegamble9642 Жыл бұрын
My partner has an alcohol dependency and I have used some of the methods used such as deep breathing and removing myself for a moment. I find no very difficult. No mean no with no excuses or explanation. I think she said NO is a one word sentence and I also know that I have to learn to except that he will get angry and will not like my answer. Everytime I say no he says yes but just get 1 beer for me then however I know with time my no will be my strength and will slowly get easier to say. Thankyoy thankyou.
@TreeHouseRecovery Жыл бұрын
We can help you and your partner. Call us anytime.
@Jennifer-vz6rx10 ай бұрын
CLOSE
@sonjacroft3016Ай бұрын
My daughter has been using cocaine, for 9 months!!! Never ever could I have imagined this. She has childhood trauma that has led to this. As her parents we feel we have done everything we can and our power when she was little and as an adult to help her deal with this trauma, but she has told us it’s not enough. She says she needs intensive therapy. We have offered to pay for it as long as she doesn’t use, but she refuses to promise us that she will not use so she goes treated for her trauma and also her addiction. I am at a loss and I am so scared of losing her.
@Jackiemycat9 ай бұрын
Same boat as everyone on here. Alcoholic son, bright had a great job, lost it. Spends money out of control and we’ve bailed him out so many times out of fear! I feel like such a loser, super codependent I guess. I keep watching reading etc. I know what to do and now I have to. It’s so hard, the fear is awful but what I’m doing is not working period. I’m 63, my marriage is stressful (he’s not his biology father) I don’t blame him. He try’s hard also. I feel like my life is over and this is my lot in life😢so tired of this. Hopefully o can make the changes I need to help my son and myself.
@cocoann76817 ай бұрын
I'm sick to my stomach I'm scared my grown son and daughter are going to die
@sharondioguardi716710 ай бұрын
I am from Canada and wish you could help my family. I really loved your video. My daughter and her children live with my husband and I. Two nights ago we dropped her off at detox. She never went in and left her bags in the foyer at the detox center. We are being bombarded with text messages and phone calls. I am devastated
@ZFern93905 ай бұрын
😢
@Wendy-eb2tlАй бұрын
So sorry for your pain. Hang in there,you are not alone.
@mvas346910 ай бұрын
I went No Contact and I’m seen as a monster and I have a black heart 🖤
@bonniedavis90765 ай бұрын
You didnt cause it, you cant change it & you cant cure it. Show them what a happy life is by making your life smile.