Mom's Boundaries Saved My Life

Vechi Mutum, National Outreach Coordinator for Tree House Recovery, describes how addiction took his life down to a very dark place, leaving him homeless and broken. He thought he could still call his mom for money and help when he needed it. When she said no, and set firm boundaries, he realized what he needed to do: seek professional help. If his mom kept helping him, it would have made him just a little bit more comfortable in his addiction, enough to keep him going. He attributes his success to that very moment she said no. Watch his powerful story, and heed the advice he shares. A parents boundaries can be the one thing that can changes a person suffering from addiction, ultimately leading to that person to achieving sustainable recovery from drugs and alcohol.
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[@Carolyn9120]

I have been called hard, mean, etc., because I REFUSED to help my daughter use. She now has 11 months clean!

[@crustinagohard9049]

As someone with 75 days clean, 11 months seems so far away. That's tremendous. Very happy for you and her.

[@Sagespirit111]

@@crustinagohard904975 days!!! That’s something great!!!

[@hamdelsun68]

Way to be, Mom😊. Blessings for a better life for you both ❤

[@dolorestaylor9001]

I have been hurting for my son now for almost 5 years now. I didn't say no in the beginning because I was trying to help, because this was all new to me. It's by the grace of God that he is still alive, but even after saying no and limited contact, I am still waiting. I'm so tired of hurting and being afraid. Please pray for my son.

[@DRI7EN1]

Id be happy to try and talk to him.

[@lorimorman8480]

I hope my son listens to the self help videos I'm sending him.. He's been on a 8 year run with addiction with various drugs, pot n beer n it's been the saddest 8 years of my life .. especially since before the fallout he was a straight A' college student n had a bachelor's degree in the sciences n had a condo n making excellent money rockin his world awesomely n now he can't even seem to get to a standby work site n work one day a week to make bus n laundry money.. I've had counseling n got stronger with the nos n limited availability.. but still worry about him n am working on just letting go n trust God to just watch over him .. It's hard but self care has to be & is my priority..I can't fix this .. I'm done n can only hope that I never get ..that call that we're all so afraid of

[@WheresSummer1800TBIFIND]

I'm going through the same prayers from 1 mother to another

[@marciahill7016]

Same situation my love. My son is a type1 diabetic with heart trouble too and he uses it to blackmail me. Im now cutting myself off. He is being evicted soon n will not last on the streets but I've got to stay strong somehow or I won't survive either as I'm 75 n falling to bits myself. Be strong along with me love. Big hug from an old English great grandmother. Xxx

[@背ｂせ]

🙏🙏🙏

[@vonniek6787]

Being a mom of an addict, I wanna say that it feels like I’m dying daily knowing my child is struggling so badly. I feel as if I will die if he does. It’s my prayer every single day and night that my son remains sober. I want to see him succeed in life and I want him to know that he has it within himself to do that. He is almost 3 months sober now. Every single day counts. Thanks for sharing ❤️

[@allisongyt]

I feel every word.

[@michelangelope830]

The truth is addiction is the psychology of a liar. The brain disease of addiction doesn't exist. Where are evidence driven atheists when you need them? I can prove i have discovered the nature of addiction ending the war on drugs, but unfortunately I can't do religious miracles and I need the truth to be known to save your children's lives. To understand only to want to understand is required.

[@Teriyaki-vj8ny]

​@@allisongyt I feel every word too.

[@elba317]

Pray… pray..pray. Please don’t give up!!

[@teodorac4801]

what does one dowhen there is schzophrenia as well ???? cry😢

[@victoriaoshea4865]

4:17 Mom " I didn't want you to be comfortable sleeping on the street " This woman has courage and amazing insight. I, unfortunately have unknowingly done the opposite for my son. I will learn Thank you for making this video

[@BrandyinIndy]

🙏🙏🙏

[@Mo29577]

I have as well Victoria…it took hearing that if I’m giving him my couch and money and comfort in his addiction then I am the devil. This gave me great pause and realization. Learning without the boundaries recovery may never happen. I am currently staying strong with doing the opposite. My son recently after receiving NO from the “usual suspects “, reached out to our cities outreach officers and ask for assistance in getting in to Faith Farm a recovery program here. It’s been two weeks and I haven’t heard from him which is Great news to me as he’s not allowed contact for 30 days so hopefully this means he is still there. We don’t know what we don’t know. And now we do better that we are learning. 😊

[@lissettemaldonado2581]

Thank you for sharing this video. My 26 year old son is homeless and as a mother it hurts a lot. Like your mom I also said No to helping him anymore. I needed to see this. I believe in God and I’m holding on to Hope. 🙏✝️♥️

[@TreeHouseRecovery]

Hey this is Vechi. If you want to talk call me at 949-629-8690

[@crystalhernandez6863]

My son is 23 and living out of his car and not doing well either. I’ll be praying for your son. I also needed to see this. Healthy boundaries is what I need to practice. 🙏🏼

[@crystalhernandez6863]

I am in recovery. I have 6 years clean and now working with people that are experiencing homelessness. It hits different when it’s your own that’s out there.

[@weseethroughu]

What are hus issues.dont you feel your nit dealing with something right Its difficukt ehen people need dustsncr from sourcr nbut i out right instructrd my famiky whst do do to prevent me from suffer.and i had no contact with thrm in abuses.by fistrr suppirt durd and someine wanting nr to fsil cursing me akways.my fsmiky found cheap ways out of truth.and thid time told thrm whst to do.instesd they did ut right to sucken me.rrfysed to abide by kaws if nature and laws and uwss besten down to homekss whikdrs fsiled to trest the initisl wound inducr on me by sick clrver snske rspidt abusers seeking to use me and iwas ti strong. My famiky are out hapoy now wauted foe me to fail fall.idid neither ieas pushed.

[@weseethroughu]

Sirry im on android dying of five years if fails to treat at onset rape torture abuse stroke.

[@nurseprac.nikki513]

I wished my parents had those same boundaries. My little brother died of an overdose, in my parents home. My father found him. They always felt bad and never wanted him to suffer so they blindly enabled him. He died at 28 and my mother died a year later at 58. Truly, from a broken heart.

[@kellietaylor9913]

Parents are just people..I wish they had those skills in their toolbox too but they didn't... it doesn't mean your brother would be here and the guilt they must have had I can't even imagine as a mom..bc parents blame themselves no matter the situation..I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom your brother

[@kellietaylor9913]

What you can do now is inform yourself and if u believe it's a disease let your kids know this is in our family

[@BS-dq1kz]

That’s so so sad. However, I can tell you from personal experience, the “boundaries” or tough love, doesn’t really help many people. Everyone is different. I’m so sorry for your loss.

[@nicholegoldy671]

I’m so sorry I have a brother who has issues and my parents support him. He’s handsome smart a good person.

[@michellegrande777]

I am so sorry.

[@ShannansShenanigans]

Sending ALL parents and their children who need it; love, light and positive healing energy ✨️💜✨️ I cried through this entire video. The day before I had to kick my son out. We couldn't take it anymore. Like this gentleman and his mother, my son and I were close but meth has changed him into someone I don't know. He called me every horrible name and told me several times to "F*CK OFF!" & "F*CK YOU B*TCH!" I have broken down in tears because I don't want him to get sick or die. He's my baby 😢 I know I have to be strong and just hope he realizes what he needs to do. May ALL of you find strength, peace and love to help you through your life journey 🙏💜✨️💜🙏

[@dani9622]

Hugging your heart mama ❤️💔 sending all the love and light to you and your family

[@teresawarrenloveforjailmin4666]

Thank you so much. My son needed gas today and I told him no because he is so disrespectful…he just threatened me with my grandson….he’s on drugs and living in a hotel room for now….I thank God for the strength to say no…..I’m not going to help him….I thank God for this video today…God is going to turn his life around and he will be saved!

[@BrandyinIndy]

Amen! God will!! Your son will Thank you in the long run. Pray for protection. 🙏

[@elba317]

In Jesus name he will be free!!!

[@BrandyinIndy]

@@elba317 Who The Son Sets Free, Is Free Indeed. 🙏❤💪

[@davidogundare5146]

Amen!

[@mscrunchy68]

Any progress?

[@mariewilliams2755]

My Sister was sober for two years and then relapsed - heroin. She doesn’t speak to us because we refuse to ‘make it comfortable’ and because we tried to explain to her boyfriend that he was enabling her. I have no idea where she is. It’s the most gut wrenching, heartbreaking, helpless feeling when you love someone but you have to reject them and you just stand by while they slowly kill themselves.

[@nancyhiatt2835]

Marie, you expressed just how I feel. My daughter lives with me and won't contribute to the house. She can be very disrespectful but when I tell her she doesn't have to live at my house, she turns it around - how can I ever do this {evict her} to "your own flesh and blood.

[@loveronicalovelace9435]

my 15 year old daughter had a 20 yr old boyfriend that was a heroine addict and got her into being one also.i tried to break them up and called the cops ,banned him from the house everything. She even od and i had to carry her unconscious to the hospital still in her catholic school uniform she was wearing after school.when we were bringing her home she attacked me.she attacked me on a couple of occasions and i fought back and her boyfriend tried to have me charged.3 of their close friends died from heroine overdose.She got pregnant and had an abortion. i was very angry and let her know it was a sin to kill her child.The next time she got pregnant she kept the child and bc of being pregnant she stopped taking drugs and so did her boyfriend. its almost 2 years now they are both drug free (the guy just smokes weed now but not near the baby)

[@collette6667]

I am crying watching this. My 31 year old son almost died in a car crash and he still has not found his bottom. I die daily knowing he will eventually fail and I am helpless. He tells me how much he hates me and many other hurtful things. I helped him many times over and over but it has never been enough. He blames me for everything.

[@vechimutum1173]

Would he be willing to talk to me?

[@flickrennels]

It’s his addiction talking, his addiction is blaming you, his addiction is fighting you. Not him.

[@pearlcrump9466]

My son is an addict to meth he will be turning 19 he is homeless and needs much prayer, I live in another state and I'm so heartbroken he'll be going to jail soon.Thank you for this video

[@lenorepaletta9267]

Prayers for you. 🙏

[@BrandyinIndy]

My mom finally cut me off completely. I was in rehab in 4 months and never looked back. She Prayed for me too!! I had lost or gave many things in my addiction, but I was not willing to give up my mother.

[@TheConservativeUmmi]

Addiction is a family disease. Can you imagine saying no to your child for something so simple? She was tired, broken, helpless, sad, empty , isolated and so much more of the same feelings her son felt. A loved ones recovery is just as important as recovery for the addict. Thank you for creating content for families; it’s so important!

[@BrandyinIndy]

Yes the addiction will spill over onto everyone around the user.

[@Charlie-wt3sg]

I have to admit that’s what did it for me. I’ve got 3 years clean. My own home and a great job in Healthcare.

[@vechimutum1173]

Congrats!!!

[@rachelspooner33]

.

[@racquelcharles3960]

Really nice ❤❤

[@user-oj9bp1qn3y]

I am the child of an addict. This has helped me more then you can understand.

[@georgiabell3640]

I am drowning in grief for my son that is still here

[@donnaturpin5995]

Praying for you please pray for me.

[@georgiabell3640]

@@donnaturpin5995 praying for you momma

[@Globelle]

I am praying for all of us. Please pray for my son Geno too.

[@journeygirl6364]

Me too today was a bad day I took my son to detox and begged him to please take the help he refused said that he didn’t want to and I finally told him that if he walk away he loses me and I felt horrible saying that I also had a friend tell me if he dies it’s my fault I don’t know what to do

[@MoonBeamsAndDreams]

I understand this... Mine is 23 and on fentanyl

[@freetobememe4358]

I am sitting here watching this in awe, validated what I have been doing, making it as uncomfortable as possible in the addiction, and yes to save their lives.

[@ctgeorgia]

Dad of 21 year old daughter that's an addict. I am crying as I watch this... I kicked her out a week ago and have no idea how she's doing. I am so scared that I feel like I'm having a heart attack. The big issue I'm faced with is her mom and step-dad are addicts. They're the ones that introduced drugs into her life at 17. When I kicked her out she went directly to mom's house. I feel like I threw her to the wolves. I don't know what to do other than pray. God bless.

[@carolburnette2019]

🙏

[@thiabrabson2533]

🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

[@carolburnette2019]

Have you heard from her?

[@ctgeorgia]

@@carolburnette2019 Hi Carol. Yes I have. Thank you for asking. She's not doing well. She's lost a ton of weight, her hands shake badly, not bathing regularly, chewed her nails down to bloody tips and her skin looks bad. I keep begging her to enter rehab again and come home but she refuses. She sits around and does drugs with her mom and to top it off...mom got back together with stepdad drug addict after he got out of jail again for beating her and sexually assaulting our daughter.

[@carolburnette2019]

@@ctgeorgia Oh, Crap! That's not what I was wanting to hear 😢 Any underlying mental health issues, that you know of? Bipolar runs in our DNA. Prayers

[@jennifermarshall3852]

Thank you for this video I’m at at my wits end…. Daughter with Anorexia/binge purge….now “medical” marijuana addiction …. Stoned all day, won’t participate in family dinner, vacations, isolates from all friends, and basically treats us like crap. Only kind when she wants something. I’m seeking help for myself now, as I’ve become suicidal and severely anxious/depressed watching her spiral the last three months. Found your video in the middle of the night, desperate for hope so I can get some sleep. Thank you for the testimony, the resources. I’ll be reaching out. God bless

[@bethprather9241]

Tears are rolling. I hate this disease so much. Mom's love their kids. It is a nightmare. Parents, pray everyday addiction doesn't ever hurt you or your kids.. Daily... Working and a pain pill.. Real.. GOd we need you.

[@funkardashian]

I'm crying cause I'm going through it right now with my daughter.

[@user-yg8sl8sw3m]

🙏😢

[@MyMlarson]

I have lost a son to suicide he was an alcoholic with serious mental health issues. I have a second son who is a crack addict and living on the streets I don’t know if I can handle another death. I did say no to my son who commited suicide to coming to live with me . I don’t know what the answer is but I turned to God , I live in fear with constant guilt . I am lucky to have good friends but this cross is a heavy one . 🙏

[@shannonlynch9331]

I lost my sister to a heroine/ fentynal overdose 4 years and 2 months ago. My sister never had the opertunity to have a 2nd chance and go to rehab. God bless you and your mom for setting boundaries. I don't know you but I have a sense on pride for your sobriety. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@nicolajane6264]

I'm so sorry Shannon, the pain never leaves us. We just learn to adapt. God bless ❤

[@PS-xb9hc]

How painful this sounds, parents out there stay strong. Tough love is necessary.

[@JRas-ru8kq]

I watch this video often to make myself strong. Thank-you, another Mom trying her best.....❤

[@deirdretrentman2414]

Wow, I am going through this right now with my addict 21 year son. He finished another 6 month inpatient rehab friday, and was home maybe 20 hours and took off, as far as i know hes in the streets in cincinnati, and my heart is breaking, ive never told him he cant come home, but i did...and im shattered

[@Lotus-uv7zw]

I feel your pain and my heart breaks for you. I've not been able to bring myself to that point but it's killing me and at this point I guess I have to choose my poison cause I feel pretty much dammed if I do and dammed if I don't.

[@SohaNoha]

Am sorry to hear that. Can you ask him what sport or what hobbies he likes maybe of he stay busy with activities than that will help him stay sober. Stay strong I am a mother an I know how you feel it's not easy. I hope he can turn his life around. Keep the hope and prayers does bring miracles 🥺

[@heidiho5179]

@@SohaNoha it’s so much harder than that.

[@magicmariobichon751]

@@SohaNoha hobbies and activities are not in their vocabulary they are addicts, their only hobby is getting their fix.

[@ZyKingZionSmith]

He’ll be back. You have to do what’s best for him, even if it hurts. I know because my son will be 20 tomorrow and I’ve put him in rehab 4 times since he was 16 years old. It feels like you’re living in a nightmare and no matter how hard you try it gets worse. That’s because it’s not you that is supposed to be doing all the trying. He uses drugs because that’s exactly what he wants to do and there’s nothing you can do but pray about it and live your life. No use in killing yourself. It hurts so bad but you have to find something that brings you some form of joy every single day. Good luck and God bless.

[@triciathetrucker1654]

Thank you! I'm your mom, and this helps me stay strong in not enabling my daughter.

[@nancyhiatt2835]

It's SO hard with daughters! They are so vulnerable and prey for people who would abuse them were they to sleep on the street. I am so torn.

[@Teriyaki-vj8ny]

​@@nancyhiatt2835 🙏✝️🙏

[@jeanieologist4456]

@@nancyhiatt2835 I understand your pain. The hardest thing I ever did was tell my daughter to leave my home at 28 she was using heroin and crack cocaine married to a crack addict. She never even knew those drugs until she met him. It was seven years of this hell sleeping every night with the phone by my head, waiting for the call because she died twice and I brought her back to life. What people don’t realize is that when you have an addict in your life every day you’re in the mourning even though they’re still alive. I took her back in and out approximately 13 times until I could do it no more and that is when she was down to 70 pounds living on the streets doing God knows what that she called me and she wanted help. She’s been sober for almost 2 years, you need to realize that people who are addicted to drugs, girls, or men know the streets, and they know how to survive. If they put as much energy into getting drugs and alcohol into their life, they would be CEOs. Every time you enable, you need to realize that you’re basically buying the drug that may kill her

[@ShireeHutcherson]

I lost my children’s father back in 2019 due to his mother making him comfortable in his addiction 🙏🏾Today is his 2 year anniversary ❤️

[@josephineakajojo1352]

As a mother I know that was so hard 4 her 2 say no but thk God for her strength it saved his life....

[@MemoriesofYore]

With my son being a homeless addict I feel like nothing. I don't sleep, I worry all of the time. I am no longer happy and feel dead inside. I want my son back. He is my first born and I feel like I lost him.

[@TreeHouseRecovery]

Give us a call. We are here to help. [phone]

[@tamaleenyouknowwhatimean777]

I have to make some really big decisions for myself and my adult son this week. I am enabler to the 10th degree, I cannot stand to see my children uncomfortable. It is hurting my 28 year old son figure things out. I will need to get out of my own way. Thank you for this today.

[@TreeHouseRecovery]

Give us a call. We have a people who can help you and your son.

[@Globelle]

​@@TreeHouseRecoverywhat's the number? My son is 23 and addicted to Fentanyl. This is so devastating and soul crushing

[@conniescher3359]

I’m going through this with my oldest daughter right now. I’m heartbroken 💔

[@Globelle]

Me too

[@aimeehill6451]

I’m stuck in a painfully hard medical situation and I’m using . Your video woke me up I’m getting help ! Thank you 🙏

[@nicolajane6264]

Thank you do much for sharing. I have a 33 year old son & he's very sick right now. He has server mental health issues too. Even though he has these issues, my son has the biggest heart, he is kind caring. Through this addiction that has been replaced with rage, inpatients, pain driven selfishness. This is not who my son is. For four years I've taken him to addiction centre & got him on methadone so many times. He has no money, he has a flat but he has no electricity, gas or necessities. My son is very handsome, he always looked amazing. He is 6'2 and could have been anything he wanted to be. To see my boy like this is tearing me apart. I have a balcony on my living area, when he comes round asking for money, he walks away & I watch him from my balcony, seeing him in this state walking away, watching him kills me. I can't say no even though I know what he is doing. I see him in with drawals and the pain he is in, he begs me and is relentless. To see your son in that pain has drained the life from me. He's dad has done nothing, not even emotionally tried to support him. Everyone has turned there back on him. This is something people need to be very careful with. Financial support is a no no, I agree, although I am struggling to say no. But when I hear people taking away the emotional support that is something I could never do. Even though he calls me some awful names etc. I know that's the addict speaking and he does not mean it. I know the turmoil that will cause him further. Take away financial support, that's right but not emotional support. Addicts commit suicide when everyone turns there back on them. They are in emotional hell and they need love. Thank you again your a wonderful person. I bet your mum is so very proud of you.

[@WeepingWillow69]

Your story reminds me of me and my 35 year old son. I feel so helpless. God bless you and him! 💜

[@GymEddz]

😔

[@sonicmainiacs]

Thank you for sharing. I finally said no to my brother. I've tried helping him for years. Encouraging rehab. Going the extra mile. I'm done trying. 😞💛🙏

[@rebeccasmyth6842]

That's what makes PAL, Parent's of Addicted Loved Ones such a great program. It provides education to parents and spouses of addicts to teach them how to set boundaries and not enable, among other things. Thanks for sharing your story.

[@TreeHouseRecovery]

Having that network is so important during these times. We are grateful to see the many resources available for parents. It's so important for all the loved ones involved to know they are not alone, and to have the ability to learn from others who have experienced these situations. Thank you Rebecca for sharing this :)

[@dallimamma]

@@TreeHouseRecovery ::: Thank you for posting these videos. Do you have a directory for support services?

[@TreeHouseRecovery]

@dallimamma we do have support services available for people who are struggling. I know sometimes sharing specifically what you need support with may be difficult. Would you feel comfortable sending us an email and we can explore how to help your specific situation? You can email [e-mail] and they have access to a lot resources that can help almost any situation.

[@catlady5009]

Thank you for this video. Going thru this hell as a parent My Daughter is addicted to heroin. Refused to stay in rehab. Lies constantly saying she isn’t using. Praying for All here reading this. Love & Light🙏🏻🌿💪

[@TreeHouseRecovery]

Call us any time. We are here to help.

[@carolewoof9512]

God bless I pray 🙏🏻 for all who suffer with addiction 🙏🏻💝

[@jenniferchapman775]

Thanks for the message of hope. My adult son is addicted to meth and has hit what we thought was his bottom so many times. But he is still out there and my heart is broken. I'm trying to keep hope and also learn to detach in order to stay sane. But how does a mom detach? : (

[@TreeHouseRecovery]

Hi Jennifer, This is Vechi. I would be happy to speak with you. 949 647 4223

[@nidiacheeld2]

Hi Jennifer, My son is an addict to met, and I am also feels heart broken, lost, I have try everything to help him, my biggest mistake is providing financial support because I can't stand the idea to see him homeless, I pay for his rent, phone, and car insurance. the one i need help is me. I pray day and night and sometimes I feel like God has forgotten about us. I know is a terrible thing to said. I have try for him to get help but there's no hope. He is in Hawaii, and I am in Las Vegas. My significant other and daughter keeps telling me to just block him. But How can a mother pretend that his child doesn't exist.

[@nidiacheeld2]

@@sharonchi4903 yes! He is. 6 mos ago he end up with psychosis. As a Nurse I know exactly what it is. I can tell you is not a good place to be. He got Mental help he is stable and 5 months today is sober. He is currently in rehab. I pray every day so he can continue in the road of recovery. Do not loose hope. In all of your ways submit to the lord. He will not abandon your son. We don’t treat the addiction, we treat what led to the addiction. Met give them euphoria, motivation, energy. I am praying for all of you. You are not alone.

[@angelcuadra3466]

Everything that you have said about your life is like I am leaving my life . My 32 year’s old, first born who I adore, is going through major opioid addiction. I’m loosing my mind don’t no what to anymore. You video came across right on time it was like God put it for me to see it. I was searching for Joel Ostein to hear his preaching and your video pop up above his. Thank so much for sharing I have heard the same advise from multiple people but it so hard to thought kid to the street. After hearing your story God has show me the way I pray he will save my son like he save you. God bless you!!

[@mellovett5924]

I’m living this now with my 33 year old daughter. In raising her daughter. I just set boundaries and I’m honoring these boundaries. I wake up everyday with the optimism my daughter will come through this, we love her and miss her. Thank you for this video, I needed it right now.

[@vechimutum1173]

She can, I truly believe RECOVERY is possible for all of us

[@vievealasvegas1]

Praying for your daughter to surrender ♥️

[@mellovett5924]

@@vievealasvegas1 ❤️

[@erickaericka7858]

Happy to hear your story and your success. My real close friend is going through something w her son, she’s enabling. Buying him opiates and letting him medicate in his bedroom and reviving him w narcan every so often, bringing him back. He needs help. She needs help more so she can save him instead of aiding in his self destruction. I can’t imagine her struggle as a mother and her only son in such misery. It’s painful to watch.

[@DRI7EN1]

Id be happy to talk with her

[@ceciliarios5098]

I’m in Tx my daughter is in Anaheim Ca for over 10 yrs, she is now 30 she’s been homeless, I’ve been out there bringing her home she’s left without notice, I’ve paid her greyhound tickets where she never got on, Now I’m back to the place I’ve been before letting Go knowing well what her risks are.. thank you so much for sharing it’s information like this that helps me stay strong.

[@nicholegoldy671]

Helping them is called enabling them. So many parents do this (digging the child’s grave) or covering for a spouse. It’s hard Evolution is forced in human life in plant life it’s forced out of the comfort zone. Let them hit rock bottom as hard as that may be . You can’t even drop them off at rehab because they have to want it to them self

[@Phoenix-gp5bg]

Thanks for the deep talk...You made me cry.

[@debbiebelden4359]

I'm dealing with my oldest son and his addiction. It's cost him his freedom and in a sense jail saved his life. I did need this reminder, thank you, best wishes.

[@marc2345]

Thank you Vechi Mutum for sharing your life experience!! Hearing you reassures that having to say no and setting boundries is essential for my son's greater good💖

[@LadyMystic]

Thank you so much, I needed to hear this.

[@meghadeuskar939]

So Frank!! Thank you so much for sharing this!

[@valeriem6475]

The best video I needed to hear!!

[@keishawilliams7546]

This won’t work for everyone but i definitely believe it will work for most.

[@ST-ev9th]

First off I wanna applaud this man and have a lot of respect for someone to overcome what he has. I understand his point he’s making and I’m a recovering addict also. But what he said may work for some people, but for others, such as my self, it can push you over the edge to suicide/attempts. Asking for money is one thing. But asking for a sleeping bag so that you don’t freeze to death when it’s below freezing out, and being told no by the one person who still supposed to love you, is a whole other story. What would happen if he froze to death cuz of it? There’s a difference between “comfortable” and “survival”. I used to be homeless opiate addict and my mother cuz me off. This one time I had not eat anything for 3 days. I managed to find a phone to call my mom (I would still talk on the phone with her regularly) and I asked if she could meet to buy me a meal or even bring me just a few pieces of bread with jam or literally anything to eat, but she refused. That was my turning point where I attempted suicide that night by cutting my wrists and laying in the park by a tree.I lost a lot of blood and almost died but miraculously woke up in a hospital bed. So apparently some people seen me lying up against the tree and thought I’d be stabbed or shot and called 911 which saved my life. I didn’t talk to my mother for 2 years after that since I felt unloved by her. Less than a year after the suicide attempt I finally got clean. But still harvested the feeling of my mother not loving me anymore. It took me a long time to rebuild the relationship back. I understand and realize now that she was doing it because she loved me. But an addict doesn’t think the same as other people. They perceive things differently because drugs literally change how your brain works. And that’s why doing something like what this mans mother (and mine) did, can literally make it break the person. All I’m saying is everybody is different and some things that work for some people will not work for others. So be careful because you make the decisions on what to do. *Sorry for the rant and if you have read it all, thank you*

[@lovesmesomerebornbabies2461]

I read it all and this is EXACTLY where i am at as a parent. This is where my mother is at. My son is an addict and my brother is an addict. This is a really tough place to be, A REALLY TOUGH PLACE TO. BE, You are right....tough love is not the answer for everyone. I AM SO GLAD IT WORKED for this man and I am thankful for him sharing his story (the man in the video) but what if your child is the person that it doesnt work for...what if your child takes their own life and you then have to live with the never ending guilt and shame and upset that you could have helped, whether with a sleeping bag or a meal. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. I can promise you that. This is pure hell on earth .....

[@dallimamma]

::: The message is, that no one can save you, but yourself. Asking for help to remain in the blur of addiction does nothing but prolong the pain for both of you. Parents are responsible for their child’s safety and well being, until the child reaches adulthood. When substance abuse takes over, this reality, and logic are lost. Parents can’t be held accountable for the choices their offspring makes. The substance decides that life and death aren’t important. No parent can stop the freight train of abuse, and, if they don’t get out of the way, it will take them out too. Heartbreaking.

[@blueLou9726]

I only wish it was this easy. Unfortunately addicts die on the streets all the time. I'm glad for those that this works for

[@ChristianaMaru3]

If he would have died, it would have been that he chose that over his addiction, not that his mother finally told him no after too many times saying yes. People choose death and addiction over life all the time, and if his mother would have said yes one more time it would have been THAT much more likely that his fate would have been just that; death I know this after years of providing my dad with food, rides, blankets, shelter. I’m done. I can’t save him from death. Only he can make that choice.

[@kittycat-hdb]

Wow❤ This is a whole world of difficult decisions and pain. I am sorry for all of the addicts and family ❤members watching the self destruction.❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@tba7175]

Thank God for you and your mom. To anyone struggling don't give up. No matter what it looks like. The biggest muscle you have is your voice asking for help.

[@elaynewrightberman2336]

Im so proud of you, and very proud of your mother, thank you so much for this

[@mmp495]

Your mom is a warrior and so are you. One of the hardest things to do. Thank you for sharing this journey and your perspective. ❤❤❤

[@lokey7854]

Thank you for sharing this. Your mom is an angel. Blessings to you and family.

[@cecileberende6901]

That's exactly what I said to my daughter no matter how much she hates me for it in the moment of her struggle thank you for sharing this it spoke to the part of me who doubts that I am doing the right thing in not giving one bit of comfort for my daughter

[@malawipeacocks]

Thank you and I’m so proud of that you are doing well. Just to let you know you’re now giving to hope manny others.

[@michelledavis4496]

My daughter is an addict, always staying in trouble because of the drugs & alcohol. We have never had a relationship since she was 15, now she is 35. My heart breaks for her. I've kicked her our & it seems like she doesn't have a rock bottom. I've let her move back home & things has gotten worse, I keep thinking I can save her but it's not working. She has od & thank God someone called the ambulance. I really dont know what's going to change her, she has been in & out of prison all her life. She had a grade average of 4.0, I don't know how to help her. When ur child comes home & says I'm cold & hungry, I let her come back, I guess I do enable her, I feel like she is safe here & it doesn't really help. I hate drugs & alcohol.

[@kittycat-hdb]

Don't be hard on yourself ❤❤❤❤❤❤you are not made of stone. Drugs are so bad. I feel your pain ❤

[@kittycat-hdb]

Wishes for your daughter ❤

[@darlasmith5049]

Thank you for this. And congratulations on your sobriety

[@mikeshoemaker596]

Such an amazing person Vechi you are the man!!!

[@doreendawson8978]

Thank you so much for this. It really spoke to me as I have a loved one I live with struggling in addiction. I am starting to learn boundaries and find support for myself. It's unfamiliar territory, but if I can save their life. I will do it.

[@emilyingridlaura3419]

Wow! This is Remarkable!!! Thank you!!!

[@aries-seventhseal2473]

THANK YOU SO MUCH

[@michaelwoods563]

Thank you for your story

[@MsShannonVee]

Thank you for sharing your story. Very powerful

[@ZyKingZionSmith]

Thank you so much.

[@marielamccartney7319]

My oldest son who just turned 36 years old has been an alcoholic druggadict since he was a teen it’s been a lifetime painful journey to see him turning out like this. Now he is been in prison off and on as well. I have been an access to him to be comfortable wherever he goes. I see that Us mothers can turn our kids into flakes for not being tough like this guy’s mom. Time for me stop all this nonsense.

[@gwenw.3687]

My son was the same way, just buried him at 34 yrs. old. Never give up, mine was safe in jail/prison.

[@kathyhenry2362]

Thank you. I needed this. My son is 18.

[@roBEAN444]

My ex husband died almost two years ago from late stage alcoholism. Through his whole downward spiral he had a house of his own and money to pay his bills - all due to his family who bought the house, financed repairs, and gave him odd jobs to earn some money here and there. Without these things I have no doubt he would have either been homeless or in jail. He never had to endure the discomfort of his addiction until it literally destroyed his health and by then it was far too late for him to change.

[@teresaenge]

Thank you so much for this. My son is now 21 months sober. Your video is exactly what we parents need to hear. It is so hard to say no, but it is necessary for all the reasons you outlined. My prayers are with all who are affected by addiction.

[@honeydip6355]

Powerfully Moving and Touching ! Keep up the great work and continue to spread your message !

[@TreeHouseRecovery]

Thank you!

[@PK-uq6bb]

Thanks for sharing 😢

[@carolynwebb8726]

You can tell you are much healthier now, great job!

[@ripsagoly]

Thankyou for your inspiration and encouragement... my heart breaks everyday for my daughter, but I’m going to stand firm on the boundaries that are for her help and my protection 🥰Thankyou for sharing your story

[@TheMelek246]

I needed to hear this today. Thank-you for sharing your story

[@ToffeeHamsters]

I love this guy and this is very powerful and important, Thankyou so much ♡ trully inspiring xx

[@vechimutum1173]

Thank You!

[@juliewilderman8782]

Thank job ✅ and

[@evaluna9494]

My 29 yr old son has been an addict since 15.. He also has ADD GAD Asperger’s. Self medicates.. It is a painful journey for sure, boundaries are a must & non enabling but tough to see your child go hungry.. They get their serotonin from goals they reach positive steps. Unable to get those if we enable . These videos are helping me stick with this.. 🙏

[@bluesnites]

Setting boundaries when your child is struggling to stay alive is the most gut wrenching decision. This makes me realize I should have set those boundaries sooner. I made him comfortable. Damn it. I wish I had seen & heard this sooner. My thanks to you & your mom!! Congratulations on your sobriety and LIVING an incredible life!

[@user-uo6pn1io1r]

Thank you so much for sharing. I’m going through this with my 27 yr old son. It’s soul crushing. He has no idea how much I love him. Just to hear a story like ours gives me comfort and hope. Thank you.

[@allisongyt]

Thank you. It’s so hard to not “support” my addicted son.

[@TreeHouseRecovery]

Sometimes what we think is support isn't supportive. If you want some counseling or resources feel free to reach out 855) 274-1040

[@mariapuente524]

Thank you for sharing! God is Good🙏🏽

[@thatswhatshesaid6326]

Great story. Congratulations on your sobriety!!!

[@GoodDay-ox1el]

Amazing life story! Thanks God you are alive and among us 🙏

[@POS3278]

What a wonderful speaker!

[@thelindasunshine]

After 10 yrs clean our son relapsed..I jumped into action..his wife kicked him our but I knew what to do..made up a room for him helped him...sigh with everything..into counseling, weekly drug test and he just continued to use. Truth is I know nothing..I feel like I can't breathe. He now has 3 children that adore him but....here we are again. My husband of 34 years who worships the ground I walk on is so mad and so done he won't even talk about it. My son signed himself into rehab yesterday and here we are .everything I tried so hard to forget is surfacing..God I need to stronger..

[@lovelyroses2314]

He is so good looking.😊

[@ruthmormecha156]

Thank you all so much and especially the courageous Mum who said NO ! As a mum I know what that cost her. May God give all of us who face this horror the same love and courage ... I'm totally inspired and encouraged by this video..Thank you. From a grateful mum in N. Ireland. There is hope ❤

[@kirstenshindler7767]

Thank you! I am learning ... Your story resonates with me on so many levels. When my son was born I hadn’t decided on his name yet and I called him baby boy for a week. My kids are my world... my oldest has been struggling with addiction now for about 4 years. What long journey he has ahead of him. 🙏🏻

[@TreeHouseRecovery]

Hi Kirsten, watching someone we love struggle with addiction can be heart-wrenching. But it's never too late. If you'd like some resources or advice give us a call anytime 855-202-2138

[@vechimutum1173]

There is Hope

[@chewieslyfe]

Wow that's powerful vechi, thanks for sharing that I relate 100% with my mother. The best thing THR helped me get back was that awesome relationship with my mother and its only continueing to grow. Thanks THR I'm so glade I went to tree house recovery.

[@TreeHouseRecovery]

Thanks for sharing this! The relationship you got back makes our heart smile for you and your loved ones. Congratulations on all your accomplishments and keep up the amazing work!

[@vechimutum1173]

LOVE IT!

[@luigitanynano]

Thank you!

[@TreeHouseRecovery]

You’re welcome

[@ritatharp5238]

WOW Thank you for sharing this. It's hard to finally realize that all the help you thought you were giving was really hurtful. 🤔

[@rosellarosetyson869]

Take away the comfortbility!!! I love it!!

[@stephaniesmith9072]

I’m trying not to cry. I needed to hear this. My son drinks everyday and refuses to stop. My heart breaks seeing him like this. I’m hoping he will get the help he needs and stop.

[@marianneellman480]

Thank you for sharing this information, l need all the hope l can get! 🫂👏🙏🌻

[@amyswanson4047]

My addict is my husband but I struggle so deeply with boundaries and realizing my enabling. I needed to hear this. Thank you so much.

[@TreeHouseRecovery]

We have counselors and resources that can help. 855) 274-1040

[@nanaterri392]

Thank you.

[@armlopez9480]

Congratulations my brother thank you for sharing your story it gives me strength I am currently struggling with a loved one due to their addiction we've been together for 25 years and it kills me to know that I'm losing her to addiction

[@bellamayetheparanormalinve9150]

Wonderful. Going to say no❤️🙏 thank you and God bless.

[@misharif2742]

I cried watching this! My son has addiction and was in rehab for 3.5 months and leafy and relapses .

[@TreeHouseRecovery]

Call us anytime. We’re here to help. 855-274-1040

[@lillysinbarrerasllc5272]

Thank you I'm that mom. I'm calling 🙏my adult child a functioning adult enough for her to present better than she is.