I've went these 18 years of process. It has never felt good. I was not able to praise God through my pain. I persevered in agony and solitude. I can't understand when the break through will come that I need. I am broken and it's quite hard to operate and function in life as a broken piece of equipment. If I allow life to break my emotions I will never overcome the adversity. When life hands you a deck of cards that seems unevenly stacked against you. Folding your hand is not an option. I'd rather fold my hands and pray before I throw up my hands and quit. I can't give in. I can't give up. I must persevere through my pain and remain in righteousness. My sins separate me from victory. Sometimes we must consider our behavior and ask ourselves are we doing this within the will of God or are we trying to do this in the flesh? Some battles are not won with flesh. Your afflictions happen because it's not your fight. Why fight battles you can't influence and win. Emotional battles are the hardest to endure. The pain is part of purpose and the pain will transfer to God's Glory if you remove yourself and flesh from the picture.