Trying To Date An Aromantic Person? Let’s See If You Should

Trying to date an aromantic person? Watch this first because you probably need to learn some stuff about aromantics when it comes to dating. And some signs that you should stop pursuing certain kinds of aromantic people (since aromanticism is a spectrum )
-i accidentally said aromantic asexual in the beginning so ignore that. I Meant only aromantic lol -
My instagram is: bmud.angel
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[@RobinRaye-np3vw]

Something to add -- you don't have to be demironantic or greyromantic to be interested in partnerships Allos usually need two things for a romantictic relationship -- attraction and compatibility. But what do you do if you never feel attraction, but still want the benefits of a long-term partnership? Green-stripe aros (a.k.a. aros that never feel romantic attraction) can still pursue relationships, and just make their decisions based on compatibility rather than attraction. Some like to call themselves cupioromantic It's a frustration of mine when people say things like "oh yeah some aros can date, like demis and greyros." Demis and greyros are valid of course, but statements like these imply that you still need some level of romantic attraction to date, which is simply untrue. Attraction =/= action I have a suspicion that there are a lot more romance-favourable aros out there than we realize, but they think that they can't be aro because they want a partner. Or they think that simply wanting a partner makes them demi or greyro. It's a really harmful misconception, and it disappoints me how often I see other aros perpetuating it

[@bmudangel]

This is a really good point!

[@RobinRaye-np3vw]

@@bmudangel Aw thank you

[@christineburk4026]

Maybe it's not a question of whether or not an aro CAN date but whether or not they WANT to date, and also, some people have Queer Platonic relationships without romance and or sex. It's really up to the person what kind of feelings they experience and what they want. Personally, I do not want a romantic or sexual relationship just to have one. Honestly, I'm perfectly happy with a lifetime supply of romantic fan fiction. I have family, friends, community, a steady income, a roof over my head, ambitions, pastimes, and all different sources of inner joy I can appreciate. I don't need a partner to "fulfill" or "complete" me.

[@RobinRaye-np3vw]

@@christineburk4026 Yeah, many aros aren't interested in dating, and that's perfectly valid. That doesn't contradict anything I said though, and I'm confused on how that has anything to do with my comment

[@armadilloalien854]

Honestly this isn't just great advice for trying to date an aromatic person, it's great advice if you want to date anyone.

[@Emkito]

i'm aroace and my first ever partner is SO so understanding of it. honestly, feels like i met the one! they are so kind and patient, i can't believe they're real

[@persimmcn]

hi! may i ask if you are able to feel romantic feelings? or do you like romantic gestures? how do you make the romantic aspect work? ty :)

[@amberrichards2778]

I've been in a queerplatonic marriage for almost 7 years. I'm aro, they're ace. We're constantly chasing each other's tails. In all seriousness, though, I'm more romance-neutral and they're sex-neutral or sex-repulsed depending on how they feel. I do romantic things (when I remember that people have romantic needs), but mostly I show my love with cooking. We meet each other's needs really well, and I think the main reason we can make it work is with clear communication of our needs. Concise. Never forcing the other person to "read between the lines". This video was really fun and funny. I love your sense of humor! Good work with the sound and picture quality, too!

[@bmudangel]

Thank you for sharing your experience with us! Hopefully it will inspire those who want to be in a qpr and know it can be done ❤️ And thanks sm :)

[@phantasma3018]

i'm asexual and i just wanted to watch this video to see what's it's like on the "opposite"/"inverse" side of the spectrum. this was a cool video! and pretty funny :) thanks for uploading it

[@bmudangel]

Appreciate you broadening your horizons and THANKS SM

[@avocados1707]

SAME

[@Gamerosy211]

I think it's also important to remember; that just because someone is aro, doesn't mean they're not ace. I only say this cuz I'm sure plenty of people have been like: Oh, no romance? But what if ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). And it's like... I mean I guess. But like, idk maybe, ask, them first? 😑 If they don't wanna answer, leave em alone with the intimate questions. There's not some "hidden meaning", or "secret way", to suddenly unlock their affection. Like bro(gender neutral), quit it with shit. Respect people's boundaries. ✌️

[@Aro-bi-in-coping]

EXACTLY! Another thing is, the second you say your aro, they’re next sentence is almost always, “I feel bad, being aroace is probably really hard” or they mention something about sexual attraction. Like what are you talking about!? People just don’t understand… dude I just wrote a whole ass vent on an entire page in my burn book about how much I hate being aromantic. And the whole vent is about how no one can understand.

[@beefwillington9415]

I love consuming aro content. I'm kind of in a weird place where I like some romantic things but not others. But also "romantic" gestures/actions don't compute as romantic to me. So my dating problems stem from the fact that my partner would feel romantic feelings towards me but I could never reciprocate and I felt guilty about it. However, I enjoy physical affection and adult activities, which kinda makes it hard to relate to a lot of aro content since aro and ace get lumped together so often, and I don't identify a whole lot with the ace experience. But I love seeing aro focused content!

[@bmudangel]

I’ll try to make more aro focused content !

[@aname33]

wanted to pop in and say i'm the same way!! i also enjoy a lot of things that usually compute as "romantic" to people, but don't seem to compute that way for me. feels good to know i'm not alone (:

[@Aro-bi-in-coping]

@@aname33Same here! I’m aromantic but doing romantic stuff to my friends is really fun!

[@benny-hc3of]

as an aromantic person, i often realize that people sometimes see acts of kindness as flirtation or interest and i dont know what to do? like i like being thoughtful to others without the strings attached. i dont want to be a bitch but i also dont want to unknowingly lead people on. ive carried (what i had thought to be) jokes with people that understand it the complete different way. im just not sure what to do sometimes 🤷‍♀

[@batya_stervyatnik]

That's so comforting seeing another aro person on the internet, I live in Ukraine and there are really low chances to meet someone like me, I'm really glad that I found such a cool creator!!

[@bmudangel]

THANKS and Yeah meeting another aro in the wild is like meeting a unicorn lol.

[@ijustneedmyself]

Be safe ❤

[@batya_stervyatnik]

@@ijustneedmyself Thank you! 💝

[@СодаХарчова]

As a Ukrainian aro myself, I can relate. It’s really hard to find someone like me and befriend them. I am, like, the only aro I know in person

[@Aro-bi-in-coping]

Oh my gosh hi! I’m an aromantic and I’m Ukrainian too! I don’t live there though, and I don’t speak the language. I moved countries when I was 1. I do speak Russian though! My parents decided to teach me it instead of Ukrainian

[@maio0077]

I understand *romance-positive* as someone who doesn't feel comfortable doing romantic things but still likes romantic things in the media, while *romance-favorable* is someone who doesn't mind and like doing romantic things feeling romantic attraction or no attraction at all. So, I'm aegoromantic, I'm romance-positive but romance-repulsed, I love romantic interpretations in the media, but in practice and real life it's a terrible situation. *THEN:* *Behavior: (romance-Repulsive < romance-Indifferent > romance-Favorable)* *Personal taste: (romance-negative < romance-neutral > romance-positive)* These nomenclatures can be very confusing for some people in the community if don't include just one meaning, they can't be the same things, it's confusing to add many words to just one meaning. In the same way that there are asexual people who like porn, who into bdsm and have fetishes, but do not like/hate sex, only have sex to make their partner satisfied because they themselves are indifferent or are not sexually attracted to the people who are performing the act (generally attracted to the object or other stimulus), It makes you realize how complex people are.

[@bmudangel]

I love the complexity of humans

[@Aro-bi-in-coping]

For me, I can kind of associate with aegoromanticism; I’m aromantic, but I LOVE romance… in theory. But the idea of somebody liking me and trying to pursue a romantic relationship with me just bothers me. I don’t like itttt Do you think this identity would make sense? I know it’s more based off personal stuff, but based off what I gave, do any other identities come to mind? If you do, please let me know! (Also you don’t need to suggest cupioromantic I’m definitely that one)

[@maio0077]

@Aro-bi-in-coping Aromanticity is very, very broad, if you think you fit into aegoromanticity then you do, it's not a rule (These are terms that help you with self-knowledge), It's also not something fixed/static if you're getting to know yourself better, you can always find what's best for you. There are many ways to perceive, for example, if you find being in a romantic relationship *indifferent* to you, then you could see more about "Apathromantic", There is also "Orchidroromantic" If *you feel romantic attraction* but *do not feel the desire* to be in a romantic relationship with that person, or "cupioromantic" as you say, If you *don't feel* romantic attraction but have a *desire* to be in a romantic relationship, of course, these are just examples.

[@kellabdjfoo]

as an aroace i love this viodeo sm lmaoooo i love ur humor

[@bmudangel]

THANKS SM ❤️ and yeah same. Especially if your an aro who love language is physical affection, a qpr would be nice

[@mason4615]

I feel this, I want this but it's too hard to explain or ask, ☹️

[@iupiter.161]

I feel almost the same way! I label myself as cupioromantic, because I like to be able to name and label my feelings :) have you looked into being lithromantic? I think it would fit the description of your feelings really well!

[@axrxm]

BRO SAME

[@zooble_.]

qpr's seem so nice. i don't think i have the self dignity to allow myself to have one for some reason, lmaoao

[@MostlyAnimatedSketches]

Before I knew I was aro, one of my friends asked if I wanted to be in a relationship with them, and it became complicated lol. This is on me for not just saying “no”, I instead made a list of reasons why it probably wouldn’t work out, and they pretty much insisted that they could deal with all those things. The fact that they said it was okay if I said no but they would be really disappointed did not help lol, I get guilt-tripped so easily. In the end, we agreed to be in a qpr just for the summer (I think I did like them in an alterous way) and - this is also on me for not really explaining what a qpr is - it was pretty clear that they saw it as a romantic summer relationship. 0 communication. I know they had good intentions but it really felt like the normal romantic things were *expected* of me and I had to try to go along with it despite being extremely uncomfortable, which is not what a qpr (or romantic relationship for that matter) is supposed to be like. Really just typical teenage relationship dumb behavior lol Moral of the story: I know it’s hard to overcome people-pleasing tendencies but please don’t ignore your boundaries. On the other side of things, if your partner doesn’t seem comfortable with certain things and literally doesn’t even reciprocate because they’re freezing up, you should probably have a conversation about it. Take the hint, maybe they’re afraid to say something.

[@Aro-bi-in-coping]

Can you help explain a QPR to me? I know the gist of it, but I’m not really sure how to explain it to someone. Could you help?

[@ruthlesscalculus6613]

“It’s like trying to turn a shoe into a table” realest thing ever. This video was informative and hella funny as an aro person thank you goat 🎉

[@qwkyla]

my girlfriend is aro-flux and I am a very romantic and clingy individual. I'm scared that sometimes it overwhelms her. We've spoken about it in the past, but I'm still not completely sure where she stands or what she's comfortable with. It's really hard but it has been worth it.

[@bmudangel]

A lot of aro ppl can be fine with that sort of attention and maybe even enjoy it to an extent. If your gf says theyre fine with it , believe them. And be sure to communicate about it every one in a while if what you’re doing is okay, as you probably would in any relationship. Ofc don’t ask too many times in short periods but communicate about it every now and then to make sure you guys are on the same page.

[@hydrashade1851]

ive never met someone whos aro, but i was still curious so i decided to give this a watch, and as someone desperate for a relationship it was cool to see the other side of things.

[@Aro-bi-in-coping]

I’m aro you can talk to me if you want! (I don’t mean it in a creepy way I mean just in this comment section 😭🙏)

[@ShalemAhava]

I recently came out as Demi-Romantic a few months ago 😊. Love your content 🫶🏾

[@bmudangel]

Thank you!! 😊

[@WitchOnABroomstick]

I don't have a horror story nor success story, but i wanted to say that i love your vids and humor, i'm always watching them with a smile on my face. 💜🖤💚

[@bmudangel]

Thanks so much! 🥹❤️

[@turtlebeach1663]

I needed this a year ago ;-; but I'm glad you made this! This helped me with processing my experience with someone pursuing me when I told them I didn't reciprocate feelings over and over again, definitely subscribing :)

[@nikolettatuzko5223]

Not gonna lie, not only once males tried to date with me, even if two of them already know I am Aroace and I never had any interest in them in a romantic way or any other ways. And even if was told to them or I tried my really best to tell them as clear as possible, I don't have any sexual desire, nor romantic attraction and such, they still tried to change my mind and give it a chance. It's really, really hard to tell a guy you are Aroace or just one of those. Most of them sadly can't understand it and just keep pushing this romantic thing. :T That's my experience...

[@bmudangel]

I get what you mean. Some people just have rlly rlly rlly thick skulls lol

[@birdbrainorrobin]

hello, aroace here. my first and only bf was a childhood friend. i was pretty sure he liked me, despite my low self esteem back then. i used to enjoy the idea of romance quite a lot but had never wanted to be part of it. he initiated everything, and i went along with it, because i adore him just as much as any other friend and wanted him to feel respected. stupid move since literally everything romantic we did made me want to barf. i got confused because i wanted to like him. couldn‘t though. i found your account. we‘re just friends now and he seems to be doing ok. thanks for helping me understand myself and good afternoon

[@Isaiah492]

Watching your videos makes me feel a lot better about being aromantic after a loooooonnggg struggle with accepting my aromantism so thank you 💜🖤 💚

[@bmudangel]

Thank you ! I’m glad I could help

[@9GORGON9]

Im chronically demisexual and I enjoy this content dearly

[@hotdemonlady9731]

I came out as bi years ago and I'm just recently coming to terms that I might be aro or ace? 😭 Like I've never really tried to think about it too much because the peers that I have are either in romantic relationships or desperately crave to be in one. I thought it would just naturally come to me, however as I've grown older, I feel like I've distanced more from feeling romantic attraction, and often feel tired when it's constantly being brought into discussions. Whenever I tried to voice this howevever, I'm always met with a "you just haven't found the right person yet." And for a while I believed that. But now I'm starting to accept that maybe it's not just for me babes 😭 and even though I don't value romance, I still crave for companionship, whether that be with my friends, family or a potential lover. Being confused about this for a long time has made it difficult for me to navigate and properly understand my feelings on potential partnerships. But yeah, I'm on a new road of self-discovery so we'll see how this goes :)))

[@_anonymous_creature_]

I'm aro and polyamorous Love my partners (Got one queerplatonic partner and one soft-romo partner) Specifically, I'm aroflux But yeah I love them to bits, whether in the moment it's platonic or romantic or alterous love There have definitely been moments where I'm romance repulsed, but then it'll become romance positive later on lol It's confusing, man Like, my brain is like "EW DATING" but then is like "brbrbrbrbr wuv wuv wuv wuv" like ????? But the best part is both my partners are also a-spec, so they 100% understand

[@Lupine.]

RIP Godzilla

[@yowolfgang]

i’m aro and i probably live in a place where it’s completely difficult to just live and be aromantic. relationships are soo important for people and me being lesbian too makes it even worse for some 😭. i never felt understood apart from the internet community BUT i feel like i could be more comfortable with myself, if people would try to understand. my concept is simple, do i have s3xual attraction or/and platonic attraction towards you? if yes and there is a strong and genuine friendship behind this i might be in what people call a “relationship”, but to me, that would be just some special friendship. if not, i absolutely won’t have a relationship 🤷‍♀️. it’s as easy as it’s seems. the worst part is that people make me feel like what i feel is not ARO feelings, which is completely weird because i’m aro and i know what aro feelings are. why would i identify in one of the most discriminated labels in lgbtqia+ if i’m not part of it?

[@Aro-bi-in-coping]

I CAN RELATE! Dude I’m the same situation as you. An aromantic lesbian. Dude I’m not kidding, my friend sent me like- a GIGANTIC paragraph of a text when I told her I was aro. Like girl take a chill pill I’m not going to die 😭it’s so hard to be comfortable with yourself when your aro- like, everyone else feels it around you, but you don’t even know what it feels like. And not only that, but everyone’s crushes are boys! So you can’t even tell them their crush looks good, because sometimes, without the attraction it’s impossible to see them as attractive! Wanna chat in the comment section?

[@yowolfgang]

@ yup absolutely! could also chat on tumblr or insta if you have them. i’ve never met an aro lesbian so definitely 😭😭

[@Aro-bi-in-coping]

@@yowolfgang Help I told this guy who has a crush on me that i was lgbtq+ (he connected the dots that i was lesbian) and he was sad the whole day after 😭🙏 HES NICE THO I FEEL BAD- but it sucks for him cause not like id get a crush on him even if i was straight-

[@yowolfgang]

@@Aro-bi-in-coping 😭nah poor boy, but hey, it’s not your fault lol. i’m lucky cause nobody likes me 💪(my insecurities aren’t happy tho lol)

[@Aro-bi-in-coping]

@ (I’m a girl btw) Yeahh- thing is, people like me- like- I CAN PULL, but I’m running from these people cause HELL NAHHHHH

[@June-hc5hm]

I'm cupioromantic. i don't feel romantic attraction, but i deeply desire a romantic relationship. It's kind of sad. but it is what it is. And this video is very accurate. even though i'm on the aromantic spectrum, i want a romantic relationship, or a queerplatonic relationship. and it's very hard to explain it to someone, and even harder when my country mostly has homophobic people in it. i can't even tell my friends about my identity, because i'm scared they'll treat me differently. So it's like impossible to tell it to someone i could potentially want as a partner. And romance is seen in a very specific way here. it's mostly arranged marriages, and anyone who is dating or has a love marriage is shamed, and told that their relationship won't last.

[@Sinny.y6]

I'm not aroace or anywhere on that spectrum but I've been watching videos on asexual videos and it very interesting I've learned alot about that stuff :3 nice video btw

[@bmudangel]

Thanks!

[@vslifeofcycles5415]

Love your sense of humor! 😂

[@bmudangel]

Got any aromantic dating success or horror stories lol ?

[@sophiasmusic335]

Not really a dating story but when I was in first grade I thought I had a crush on this guy, but I didn't want him to like me back. I thought it was because my parents wouldn't like me dating in first grade. Now when I think about it, I didn't have a crush on him we were just really similar.

[@bmudangel]

Yk I had to check myself multiple times in school when I thought the same thing. Thinking I liked someone but rlly it was just platonic or I just thought they were cool and I wanted to be their friend

[@kellabdjfoo]

not exactly a horror or dating but i when i was younger ppl (esp adults) would asssume weirdly romantic things abput me when i would hang out with boys as friends "omg you two are so gf and bf !!" "awww so cute kiss her on the cheek" "theyre gonna get married" like it made me genuinly so uncomfortable and i just wanted to have a close friend, a girl or boy or neither. i just hate heteronormativity lmaooo i feel like because of these experiences, to this day, i feel less uncomfy being close friends with non men then men, i just dont want ppl to assume things 😔

[@bmudangel]

Yeah that’s the worst man. I have no idea why adults do that cuz I’m an adult now but i remember that pure embarrassment of people assuming relationships. Even more embarrassing as an aro kid who just wants to have friends.

[@definitely_not_a_beetle]

Multiple horror stories. So many unrequited feelings. Something about people who do not like me at all is very attractive to me. Im always respectful, but damn is it hard on my mental wellbeing.

[@romancandles7346]

bro im aromantic who feels attraction to another aromantic person 😭

[@Binges55]

I’m aromatic asexual and I don’t experience romantic attraction but I do experience queer platonic attraction (I practically have a qpr we just need to communicate a bit better) but if you are looking date an aromatic look onto wors not al aromatic people are interested but it is an option with some!

[@КрысаСовинских]

Honestly me saying well Im aroace I won't want you and The Man saying that I'm not bc he's seen how i'm singing and I'm too passionate. Like bro do you really wanna gaslight me into having feelings.

[@NdoniZuma]

Hard to find someone who understand aromantic

[@iupiter.161]

Meanwhile my cupioro ass trying to figure out how to get into an alterous relationship edit: I’m bellusromantic

[@jhaneilbarnett1451]

im also cupioro >:3

[@iupiter.161]

@@jhaneilbarnett1451 yayyy :3 I figured out, that I’m bellusromantic it’s really similar tho lol

[@jhaneilbarnett1451]

​@iupiter.161 ... would it be a funny thing to say that I might realize I'm bellusromantic through this comment.... 😭🤚​@@iupiter.161

[@jhaneilbarnett1451]

I didn't realize what it was and I was very comphet to think I wanted a relationship romantically .... But after a realization and thus comment I think I'm bellusromantic

[@iupiter.161]

@@jhaneilbarnett1451 yayyy I love that you could discover that about yourself! :))

[@dukkha_chan]

TW sh mentioned I realised I'm aro during my first relationship😭she was so sweet and it seemed that she truly loved and needed me. Sorry, Aselya. Too much cuddles. Too much responsibility for your cutting.

[@taivenuotio1676]

I appreciate your share. It's actually the only video I've found on the topic. Anyway, what I want to say, is that I don't think all the people who are under the lgbtq+ are only all about lgbtq+. And if someone actually is aromantic, he/she/they never felt a romantic attraction to someone else, the person don't understand love, can't even really understand what would it be inside them, how could this person say at what point on the spectrum are they? And first of all. Why would they bother to spend hours to find out? Someone is not interested in the topic, right? Might be, if he/she/they find a right person, might want to create a romantic relationship in the future. Person just doesn't know by defoult and if you're like 25, you still might be not sure what the future brings. All the best for you, cheers.

[@bmudangel]

Cheers

[@joaoastral]

Thanks for this vid 💚🤍🖤

[@avocados1707]

6:17 LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT LMFAOOOOO

[@samiko6091]

And if the possible refuses to talk of the topic and is in denial/fear of anything other than allo ... don't force it. Friend it is until/if they're ready

[@NadiaDelcatty-pg6fs]

Could shoes be considered tables for ants? 🤔 /j

[@Lupine.]

If you need to feel loved: DON'T

[@CJH71587]

💚 🤍 🩶 🖤