My experience being Aromantic Asexual (AROACE)

[@bmudangel]

Hi! If u got any questions or other stuff u want me to talk about or smth u want me to do on this channel- leave a comment about it. I’m gonna need some ideas for videos. Thanks, I’ll be posting again soon lol.

[@flowerchildvoid]

Hey, where you describe finding someone attractive and kinda obsessing over them, and just wanting to get closer to them as a friend, that’s called a “squish” or platonic crush. I’m aroace as well and experience squishes a lot and thought to just tell you cause when I found out about squishes, things just clicked like, “huh, this isn’t romantic, I just want to get closer to them as a friend :00”

[@bmudangel]

Yeah I remember when I used to claim I had a crush on a guy in middle school but the whole time in my brain, I was just wishing so hard to be his friend cuz he was just so damn funny and I thought he was so cool. But yeah, it was ig a squish. I’ve learned about that word but I just don’t like the word squish that much. Sounds slimy lol

[@olgar.6604]

Wow that's such a good way to describe it!

[@aiiiia9971]

Yeah I had several squishes in high school. I knew the way I *behaved* was similar to how someone would act with a crush, but I also knew I didn't want them in that way. So I had no idea what to call it. Started calling it a "friend crush" until I learned about squishes 😂

[@aiiiia9971]

I remember someone telling me that the person I had a squish about "liked" me, and the deep sense of dread that gave me. That's how I knew I was not interested romantically. The thought of him only being interested in me for a romantic or sexual interaction felt more like an insult than a blessing I still don't know if it was true that he liked me or if his buddy was just teasing. But it sure taught me a thing or two

[@readaholicgirl_5]

oh yeah, I had squishes in middle school but I thought they were crushes. When I imagined the crush asking me on a date I was not happy and got the feeling of dread. I even thought I felt that way cuz my parents didn't want me to date so I thought that was the reason (I'm dumb I know). So I then thought, okay if not on a date what if they wanted a kiss? No. Instant reply, so I thought maybe something smaller, how about holding hands? Also no, but not so forceful. Yeah...it wasn't until like mid-20s that I realized I'm ace. probably aro too

[@iriswashere.]

I’ve identified as ace for 2 years, and I thought I experienced romantic attraction, but it was completely platonic and I was aroace that whole time lol. When I had a ‘crush’ I always said “I don’t wanna date them, I just wanna get closer to them as a friend” and after more research I realized I actually am aroace :o

[@bmudangel]

Yeah I feel like I just can only be friends with ppl. I used to feel bad that I couldn’t return feelings for ppl but it’s all good now. I’m very aromantic

[@tickleman127]

SAME

[@estherlise]

This is me doing that research rigth now😅

[@Milinskyyyy]

true I noticed that while being in a relationship, I liked him just as a friend 😭

[@StaceyLuvsSnom]

Relatable~

[@jessicaweekley4031]

I've been aroace my whole life and just didn't know the word for it until a few years ago. When I was a kid I said, "I don't want to get married!" to my parents, they didn't discourage it because they thought it was just me being a kid lol! But I was serious. I never dated in my life, and I never understood why everyone was crazy about it. I am glad to find this community of aroace people!

[@ScarySadFlan]

I came out as asexual when I was in my late 30’s-early 40’s, and aromantic a few years later. Glad to see so many aroaces in the comments. Thank you for sharing your story! 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

[@Varaluvscats]

I love seeing more people coming out as AroAce! I feel more representation by a BUNCH of people! I am AroAce and ✨PROUD✨ And you should be too!

[@bmudangel]

🏳️‍🌈✨

[@tsven892]

The moment you brought up the "my parents won't let me date" excuse, this memory from 5th grade that I thought I had long since forgotten has unearthed itself from deep within my subconscious. I remember the 5th grade classroom badboy having a crush on me and sitting next to me at lunch and I thought he was a great friend. And then he asked me out and I went "sure where do you want to go?" and he went "no not like that, I mean that I want to be boyfriend and girlfriend." And I panicked and gave the excuse "oh my mom said I can't date yet :)". Cuz I didn't want to "take the next step" or "get closer" with him. Like, there just kinda was no next step for me. I was fine just being friends. And lo and behold, he wanted nothing to do with me the next week. I was asked out by several other guys in the next couple years too and so I just started telling my friends "all I want is friends, but maybe I just need to meet The One (TM) who definitely doesn't go to our school district and is currently somewhere else in the world :)". I think that was the start of my aroace experience. It's crazy that we had such similar experiences. I feel so heard. Thank you for your video!

[@bmudangel]

Lol that memory of urs got me kinda laughing. I’m glad you feel heard and thanks for watching :))

[@RandomPerson-vf4tz]

I used to do that too! All my friends during middle school and elementary would get crushes and boyfriends (and girlfriends) and when they would explain how they felt about them I would feel Really out of place so I would make up random crushes or lie. Another thing is that whenever someone liked me, sometimes I would feel infatuation (as in, anxiety and “butterflies”) but what I’ve realized recently that I was actually in love with the thought of someone loving me, not the person themself.

[@parisiseshasatyanarayana1131]

@@bmudangelcan it possible to get involved in sexual activities?

[@rachelgoad4768]

My best friend is aroace and I'm trying to understand more about his experience to be supportive. Thanks for sharing. ☺️

[@bmudangel]

That’s so thoughtful of u for ur best friend! I hope I was able to give some insight on how being aroace may be like for some ppl. Good luck on your learning journey.

[@Selliia383]

thats so thoughtful! your friend definitely would appreciate it

[@idkwhatever9561]

You are a great friend!

[@maluaguiar8396]

This comment made my day 🥺♥️

[@DarthXShakespeare]

Demiro ace here, I absolutely relate. Each time I've had a "crush" on someone, (which is rare) as soon as I have told them, whether they like me back or not, I'm immediately repulsed. Honestly, I might be more aro than I think I am. Kinda a hopeless romantic, but actual romance grosses me out. A QPR might be nice... we shall see. I've never actually dated so I don't really have a reference.

[@bmudangel]

I thought of being in a qpr but it was mostly when I was having a lonely and sad moment lol. I’m still open to the idea but I don’t think about as much anymore. And there’s no need to rush or force yourself into situations , take your time and figure things out as u live life.

[@davanchiii]

I had always felt weird about romantic as sexual stuff and it was only pleasant if it was not me, then I obviously figured out I was aro/ace😁. I came out to my family this year and they all kinda accepted it so I'm really happy to see more people talking about it, it makes me feel less alone. So thanks 😊💜💚

[@bmudangel]

Ah that’s so great that family accepts it, well at least kinda. Im glad I was able to help make u feel less alone. Thanks for watchin:))))

[@davanchiii]

@@bmudangel Yeah, thanks a lot too 😆 kinda is good enough for me. Shout out from Ghana BTW 😊

[@mzmscoyote]

I’ve been AroAce for over 30 happy years. Glad to know there is a label for it.

[@s1mone477]

Whenever I look for videos about being aroace, they always seem to mention never finding anyone attractive or just rarely thinking about romance in general. That's absolutely valid, but it doesn't resonate with me. Over the course of my school years, I found multiple people who caught my eye and made me question dating. I always dreamt of being head over heels for someone. However, looking back on it I was never truly comfortable with the idea of actually being in a nonplatonic relationship. Since I had no interest in anything sexual, it was much easier for me to figure out asexuality. The social construct of everyone wanting to be in a romantic relationship at some point definitely contributes to my difficulty understanding my aromanticism. Coming to terms with being Aroace is a bit bitter for me but at the same time, it is empowering. Thank you so much for posting this. It's made my process much easier.

[@meikkopeikko]

I understand where you're coming from! I think I identify as ace but I'm not sure about aro. I've had crushes in the past and thought dating them would be nice, but whenever the opportunity comes to *actually* date someone, I panic so bad and reject them. It's definitely difficult to understand what exactly romantic attraction is, because I'd say I do have it, and the idea of a relationship sounds nice, but at the same time, it freaks me out and I want to run for the hills whenever it pops up. I'm just trying to be gentle and easy on myself, I don't need to figure it out to the dot, I'll see what the future has in store later!

[@s1mone477]

​@@meikkopeikko That totally freaks me out too! My attempt at imagining being intimate with a partner makes me a little uneasy although I am intrigued. So I feel as if it's one of those things I can't know until I try. I reiterate what you said: Being gentle with yourself, it takes time. Which I am still learning. Thanks for sharing .❤‍🩹.

[@bmudangel]

Yeah it’s crazy how being aroace puts us on such a confusing journey sometimes. It not helping when almost the whole world is showing and expecting everyone to want to be in a relationship or that “everyone wants sex” idea. Making us think that we need it too but things get weird just cuz we don’t feel that way that is expected of us. But yeah, anyways- thanks for watching the vid

[@keeptaiwanfree]

@@meikkopeikkowow, this is so me 😭 i have had attraction. throughout my years in school i had maybe 2 or 3 people i was actually attracted to, but i for some reason just NEVER want to actually pursue a romantic relationship with any of them. i just admire them from afar and i just get put off by the idea of actually dating someone. at the same time, i love reading and watching stories that have romance and i am a hopeless romantic in a way, but also put off by ACTUAL romance in my life. ugh it’s confusing… idk what’s wrong with me. still, i want a cute person to be in a relationship with and be happy together with…

[@punishedtalons9063]

I went on an unused account just to comment this, I don't want this comment to be traced back to me personally but I also don't want to not thank you for making this video I just turned 18. I had an incredibly rough childhood. A lot of it I know still needs to be resolved with a professional, I know that childhood trauma can't be ignored... I speculate that it's of this trauma I've felt aroace for the longest time. Love is 100% not there for me, neither is any sexual attraction. I have been depressed for many of my recent years not knowing why I'm so different. It's like I'm cursed, I want to be able to feel love, but I cannot comprehend it in any way shape or form. It's like an itch that can never be scratched. It has taken an extreme toll on my life, it is genuine agony that lives with me every day that is so unique and nuanced it's extremely hard to talk about it or find anyone who relates. It has made me consider doing something unreasonable with my life that I won't be able to undo. I think you know what I mean... There is a lot to my particular situation and how much it affects me, but I feel it's unnecessary to ramble further. But I'm not one to accept fate so easily. I want to do whatever it takes to learn how to be happy in life and set out to accomplish my dream of being a fantasy author. I'm planning on seeking therapy and supportive care to help cope. I want to personally thank you, and other kind members of the ace community for voicing your perspective. You all have no idea how much you have helped me, and given me the strength to continue. Thank you, truly.

[@bmudangel]

Thank you for sharing part of you and your story with us. I’m happy you were able to find something in my video to help u feel seen or understood in some way. I empathize and sympathize with your hardships and I wish u nothing but the best. I cheer u on to be happy with yourself, your life, that your healing journey goes well, and I hope that your dream come true.

[@keeptaiwanfree]

i know you were not talking to me, but i just wanted to say that i love what you wrote about not being one to accept fate so easily. i’m so glad you are fighting for the life you want and for the person you wish to be. don’t stop fighting. i’m wishing you the best, you got this. 🤎🤎

[@thenovicechef1108]

relatable 🥹

[@lisanygaard2720]

Thank you for this! I’m a 58 year old woman and only recently started suspecting that I’m aromantic and asexual. Pretty sure now. I dated a bit when I was younger because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. None of my relationships lasted long because I’m just not affectionate in that way. I get annoyed and start actually disliking them. My first boyfriend was in high school. He was bi and really sweet. I didn’t like kissing because he didn’t brush his teeth and it was gross, lol. It lasted a while after graduation because he moved away for work so it was long distance. The long lovey-dovey letters he wrote made me uncomfortable and I had trouble writing back. I thought there was something wrong with me because I just didn’t feel anything like that for him. Also, I was cursed with the body of Dolly Parton and the attention from that made me deeply uncomfortable. I dated a couple more guys, who were like octopuses pawing at me, then had a breast reduction and haven’t dated anyone in almost 30 years. I’m so happy alone! I have friends and family and that’s all I want. I also used the “mom grounded me because of my grades” thing to limit our dates in high school. He was smothering me. They all smothered me. There is no one on this earth I want to spend 24 hours a day with. I’m also an introvert / loner.

[@annafre1789]

I love how calm you are, it just feels so nice to see a video about being ace that isn't about how lonely it is, or how ace is excluded from the queer community etc... I've being questioning if I'm ace lately and I relate so much to what you said!! Getting stressed before a third date because that's when you're "supposed" to get physical. And "I friendzoned myself"? I have LITERALLY said that before haha. Difference is I do really want all that hand holding, cuddling, cutesy stuff with someone. Any asexual hopeless romantics out there who relate? 😢

[@bmudangel]

Thanks, I’m glad you were able to relate to my experience. I hope u find that future partner that’ll suit u :”)

[@itshere.run.6724]

I am BANGING ON YOUR WALLS glad to see more aroace peeps out in the wild. I like to think we signal others also on the ace/aro spec like waving spiders in public

[@bmudangel]

Lol

[@WitchOnABroomstick]

i love this💜💚🖤

[@starlit-rain]

I love these videos. I am definitely asexual myself and I lowkey struggled with me feeling no desire for anyone like that in my teens because, well, the way people THINK about teenager years is very much focused on sex and sexual experiences. These kinds of videos are really nice to see because you are describing so much of what I've felt for years and still do.

[@bmudangel]

Yeah growing up as a aroace teen was definitely mind boggling a little lol. I’m glad u were to to relate to my experience too. Thanks for watching

[@starlit-rain]

@@bmudangel I'm only seeing your reply now! Again, thank you for uploading!

[@Savvy1forever]

I identify as aroace and this was such a comforting and awesome video! Thank you!

[@bmudangel]

Awe thanks. Im glad you were to feel that way from my video

[@xoyouaremysunshinexo]

I had this same feeling! A guy friend of mine was in love with me and I confused the platonic feelings I felt for him as romantic. But as soon as we'd start "dating" I'd feel just as you describe...disgusted. The thought of him touching me made me want to gag. Such an extreme reaction that I didn't really understand. I assumed it was because he was nice, but I wasn't physically attracted to him. As I've gotten older I've learned it's because I'm aro.

[@LPSSYLVEONstudios]

I definitely had almost the same experience as you when I dated a guy… except I wasn’t “crushing” on him I was just like “this man seems ideal and has all the things that a woman would look for in a man. We should date” because I’ve never felt romantic or sexual attraction. I proceeded to flirt with him no problem (because I wasn’t actually nervous about our relationship panning out I just wanted to be able to say I was in one) and see like I was genuinely excited… when he finally asked me out the euphoria I felt for the whole next day was unreal, but it was then immediately replaced by dread and wondering about what the heck came next. I basically forced myself to stay in that relationship for two months trying to gaslight myself into liking when he’d touch/kiss me… lo and behold a year later someone explained aromanticism to me and I was like “oooohhh” 😂

[@bmudangel]

Phew two months is quite a while but ig us aros gotta learn we’re aro somehow

[@giovanaqueiroz3910]

this video represents me in so many ways, I've tried to be in relationships too, but never workd, It's good to be represented.

[@redmoonlight1549]

5:24 Loved that you mentioned that because it reminds me of when I was in grade school, I had a slight crush on this one boy because he was the only one who had blonde eye lashes and seemed mysterious. Crush didn't last long; never imagined us kissing or hugging. Ever since then I've never had an actual crush on a real-life person again lol.

[@konekosayno1166]

I might be aroace. I don't really experience romantic attraction nor sexual attraction to others. I never had crushes. I want to be single and just eat food. I don't know. One day, I might figure it out. Thanks for the video. New subscriber.🧡💛⚪💙📘

[@bmudangel]

It’s no rush to figure these kinda things out. Thanks for subscribing:))

[@cradica]

I maybe aro too, but not ace. Though there was one crush I may have had. Though I don't know if it was just someone it was interested in or actually attracted to. Honestly hard for me to tell the difference.

[@farhhana9336]

Hi !! Girl I feel the same. I 've never being attracted to anyone. And I never undersdood people. In my culture people get married and have kids young cause sex is prohibed before. So the idea of getting married was terifying cause I don't like sex and find it disgusting and I love being alone with my cat. I just need more friends like you haha. So when i discover that it was not an obligation to get married I felt the relief and the fear quiting my body. Thank you for your video.

[@Pink_Joy]

Honestly that part about "crushes" and really wanting to be friends with them is so real!! Like i had a "crush" back in primary school but I've never thought about wanting to do romantic things to them but rather be friends with them. Now as i got older, i realized people around my age have desire for romance/have romantic feelings but i didn't, i just didn't care much about that. This year is the year i realized I'm aroace. I would be devastated if the internet didn't exists because i wouldn't know about aromanticism (not sure about the term for it so correct me if I'm wrong) or asexuality where i can find people that i can relate to

[@callyface9395]

I love this and especially all the people relating in the comments, i realised i was aroace when i had my first boyfriend and as soon as he asked me out i wanted to end it i just felt so uncomfortable about everything so after a few weeks i just texted saying “this is too awkward bye”. Thanks for the video 💜

[@jinxxzq]

I’ve only recently found out that I am AroAce, I’m actually shocked by how insanely RELATABLE this video was! I’m way more confident about my preferences now! Thank you.

[@cushmanarmitige2369]

Always good to see another ace perspective, thanks for that.

[@bmudangel]

Thanks for watching :”)

[@eddy163-.-]

I used to be so confused about my sexuality. I was like am I straight and I realized I wanted nothing to do with romance with a female. Then I was like ok so I must be gay. Nope I found out I wasn’t when I didn’t want that either. Then I realized what asexual was and stopped being confused.

[@elenanojkovic2554]

So I'm gray-ace, gray-aro and panromantic. Though I will not always use all of these if I'm coming out or something. There are some people I feel comfortable enough knowing that I'm queer, but I don't have the energy to explain WTF gray-aro and panromantic is. I realized I'm ace back in third grade of high school. Everyone was going on about relationships and sex and crushes and, while I was never uncomfortable with any of the topics, I simply never thought about it as much as others did. And I had crushes, but it was more like a passing thought than anything. Eventually, I started to feel like something was wrong with me, why was I unable to get a proper can't-sto-thinking-about-this-person crush. And then, in ethics class on LGBT topics our teacher mentioned asexuality. I googled it and holy fuck, things made SO much sense. Took me a while to figure out the rest. I had crushes on girls, guys, non-binary people, went trough the "Am I biromantic? Am I bisexual? Am I a lesbian? Am I just straight and making it all in my head?" phases. I went as biromantic ace for a while, then adopted the label panromantic just because if fits better. And then, this year I finally came to terms that I'm also on aro spectrum. I couldn't accept it sooner because of my own internalized arophobia. I realized that, while I wouldn't mind a romantic relationship, or even a sexual one, I would be just as happy with a queerplatonic relationship or just living with a friend with no labels.

[@bmudangel]

So relatable. I used to ask my high school friends on what does it feel like to have a crush on someone. They talked about butterflies and all kinds of stuff. I used to feel like that stuff sounded sorta scary (like wth, butterflies??!) but I also felt a lil sad for never feeling what it’s like to rlly crush on someone and stuff like that. And felt even more bad when I could never reciprocate feelings for someone when they liked me, even if they were great ppl that could possibly be good partners. Had to tell them that I couldn’t ever like them in that way and etc (which probably came off terrible in their perspective). I mean now I don’t feel bad about stuff like that anymore, I just am who I am. Side note: I wish we had an ethics class lol. Idk high school was weird.

[@sylmanyeki9323]

Im just discovering my aceness/aromantic in my 40’s. Things make sense now! When I look back at my life, this explains alot!! Thank u

[@annabel5937]

You just made me feel a lot better about myself. I think I‘m aroace and my experience is very similar to the one you described. The closest to a relationship I have ever been was a few years ago when my good friend had feelings for me and I wanted to be in love with him so bad but I couldn‘t feel anything. I don‘t see myself in a relationship but seeing others be in love it makes me kinda sad that I never feel like that. Also I really want a family and my own children some day. I‘m scared that that will never happen… Recently I‘ve been thinking about trying dating apps just to go on dates and see what happens but I totally see myself just having a good time and good conversations but never feeling anything more than platonic attraction…

[@birdbrainorrobin]

fellow aroace here. i briefly dated a guy too (as a guy), gods was that uncomfortable. and for the longest time i thought that i must be bi or pan since i was equally unattracted to either gender. cool to hear other peoples experiences. i attended csd in my city yesterday with an aroace flag on my face, i guess my friends know now.

[@KatzePiano]

This was very relatable! I've identified as aro for a couple of years (after running from it for many years and finally having to accept it after my second attempt at a relationship made me so uncomfortable) and I've finally also come to the conclusion that I'm ace. Sex is fine, I guess. I've had it before (in the aforementioned relationships) and it's okay, but I rarely feel sexual attraction and even when I do I generally don't want to act on it. Because of that nuance, I agree that trying to figure out the exact place on the spectrum you fit is complicated, but as of a couple of weeks ago I realised that I'm allowed to identify as asexual regardless, so I'm newly identifying as aroace and it's really freeing. I can just relax into not trying to feel or do things that just aren't natural to me. Thanks for this video! It's so nice hearing other people talking about this stuff, especially since it's often denied or completely ignored in a lot of spaces.

[@bmudangel]

It rlly is freeing to just identify as aroace and not try to focus too hard on where we are on the spectrum exactly. And Thanks for watching. I’m glad you were able to find smth in my video to relate to and stuff :”))

[@ATD-uc3lb]

I'm grayromantic and maybe about a year ago, I developed feelings for my coworker. In May, he told me he liked me as well and we agreed to "talk". The talking part went on for four months, and it never went anywhere. I was very weird about physical touch and any sort of affection. During those four months, we never kissed, I never held his hand, and we went on one date. He hugged me once, and I was incredibly awkward with it. I kept wondering why it was so easy for everyone else to jump into relationships, while it was so difficult for me. But it's because I don't have an interest in being in a relationship either, and its an annoying feeling because I do get romantic attraction, but the times I do is very few and far between. I liked your video though, thanks for shedding some light on aroromantics as well!

[@bmudangel]

Ugh going through that awkward stuff sucks but ig we have to sometimes to further get to know ourselves. I’m glad you liked the video, thanks for watching

[@EURIMAKEUPTUTORIALS]

Hi!! I'm arro-ace as well and I'm happy to see.more of us. Thanks for sharing 👍 😊

[@bmudangel]

Thanks for watchin

[@Sara_Diamondheart]

I realized I was aroace almost a year ago now. It’s nice to find other people who can relate and understand. Thank you for being so open and sharing your experience! Also, can I just say? I really like your personality! ❤️

[@bmudangel]

Glad u enjoyed and related to my video. And thank youuuuuuuuuuu

[@Sara_Diamondheart]

@@bmudangel You’re welcome!!! 💗

[@weirdhuman627]

I'm AroAce as well. I'm 28 and for as long as I can remember I've never felt sexually or romantically attracted to anyone. I experience aesthetic attraction meaning I like the way people look, but I wouldn't wanna actually do anything with them, ya know. I've never had any kind of romantic or sexual relationship with anyone ever, and I've never even had a crush. The idea of cuddling, holding hands, or kissing (of any kind) weirds me out. And french kissing is just gross to me, I mean, the other person is literally putting their spit in your mouth. I don't care if their mouth is clean and minty fresh. I also don't don't really like kissing sounds either.

[@idkwhatever9561]

Thanks so much for your video! I'm also aroace and I related so hard. I also had that elementary relationship that only lasted two weeks. It was very one-sided, and I felt absolutely nothing for him and had no desire to anything with him. We went one 1 date, and he got very angry that I didn't want to hold hands with him. All of my crushes before and after that were very long 2-year crushes. Funny thing in these long crushes I had throughout my life, I never wanted to date any of them - I just liked the feeling of being nervous around someone and chase them, but I didn't know that till later. Your insight and your experience are so relatable, thanks for making this awesome video!

[@bmudangel]

Ur so sweet. And man yeah, our experience are super similar. Anyways, Thanks for watching my video :))

[@warriorcatkitty]

i can relate a lot! especially to just wanting a few friends and a cat :) recently I've started identifying as a "loveless" aroace. i like using the term loveless for myself becuase I am also very far on the aromantic side. i've never been in a relationship (elementary doesnt count LOL) becuase the idea disgusts me. like you described, it feels weird and gross LOL. i also am not a fan of physical contact most of the time, but i especially don't like it in a romantic or sexual context. i actually felt stronger that i was ace at first, but now i almost think my aromantic side might be stronger. idk, it's difficult to say becuase i am so sure about being ace that i dont think about it nearly as much as i think about being aro. aro is a lot more confusing for me to understand since for a good while i mixed it up with platonic feelings. i'm also in general just a person that feels stuff pretty deeply so it's difficult to think i LACK an emotion other people usually have. but atm, i'm more sure than ever about being aromantic and i'm honestly happy with that :)

[@mk-aka-morgan8386]

I’m on the aroace spec and it was really nice hearing you talk about your experience as an aroace person 💖💖💖 I personally love reading and watching content that’s romantic/sexual but I would hate doing anything romantic/sexual in any way, it took me a long time to accept being aroace because of this because I assumed that if I didn’t feel disgust about anything sexual or romantic that I couldn’t be on the spec.

[@bmudangel]

Yeah it’s pretty normal to have doubt. Sometimes I still have doubt every now and then. Anyways, I’m glad your enjoyed my video and sharing your experience with us as well

[@christineburk4026]

Thanks for the video! :) I consider myself arofluid (since it's kind of an evolving thing for me), but I don't know if I'm ace--I could be though. I guess in a technical sense, I'm attracted to men (demi/aegosexual, if anything), but mostly complete strangers, celebrities, etc. I've had crushes, which in retrospect were probably squishes. I thoroughly enjoy romantic fantasies and am happy when other people fall in love, but I never really wanted it for myself you know? I didn't even know I was this way until I was 40! After doing research on my feelings and experiences I discovered aromanticism and boy was I relieved to know that there are so many others like me! One day I hope to write a book about my experiences, and help represent the aro/ace community.

[@owenjones-wells9395]

I discovered asexuality last year and it fits me and explains my youth so much. I discovered aromaticism this year, and again, it explains so much. So yes, I'm grey-aro/ace too. I believe what you describe as 'crushes' are commonly called squishes in the aromantic community.

[@bmudangel]

It must’ve felt kinda great to discover that part of urself. Ik it did for me when I didn’t know what the hell to explain my different experience from the norm. And Yeah, I did hear about squishes before. It makes sense

[@stevesmith7839]

Similar for me. I have crushes, but my brain says, "and what does it mean. It is only superficial or hormonal. The more I learn about them, the more I don't want a relationship with them." I have fallen in love, but I always have to rationalize the truth of the untenable differences between us that make a relationship not workable. I don't use the word asexual. I call myself autosexual.

[@bmudangel]

Well that’s an experience I’ve never rlly heard of before but i get it. Well I’ve heard of autosexual before.

[@juliii_g]

I sorta relate to this.. every time a guy is interested my brain finds things that would make a relationship not work out (e.g. he smokes, he lives too far away, there's no spark..) 🤔

[@katblackwell]

oh my god, you have NO IDEA how much i could relate to this video!! i watched a bunch of videos about people talking about their asexuality/aromance, nad while i could agree with most of them, this one was the most relatable for me. thank you so much for this video, we're so much alike!!

[@bmudangel]

I’m rlly glad u were able to relate sm to my video :))))

[@daphcr5394]

Oh god, I was wondering what on HELL I was for 25+ years!! Thanks for sharing you're an eye opener. I wish PPL around me were this chill. The 'U sHoUld TRy HaRdeR/ nO bETteR cOmPaNY tHAn Gf/bF' discourse is so tiring....

[@AroAce_Ritika]

I am an AroAce too. I never had crushes but love watching Romcoms. I like the idea of falling in love and gestures like cuddling & holding hands but I'm also disgusted by the idea of kissing. I think peck is great but kiss Its like do they even do it🤢. Whenever some girl will tell me wow that that boy is sexy & hot. I'm like really...... I know he looks good but why are so obsessing about it. I am sex-repulsed. I hate it I'm disgusted about even thinking about Why do they even do it ew gross. I'm ok with movies and series scenes because I know that they are acting it's not the real thing but If I think about people doing it in real like its totally gross. People make sexual jokes on everything literally everything. Why? and laugh too? Its unbearable. I am like don't they have shame talking such things so casually in public. Then I realise I'm the only one who's embarassed, uncomfortable and disgusted by it while eveyone else is enjoying it. In this sex oriented society what can I even do.

[@zodinator8241]

Bro you are so frickin funny and your editing was on point I’m aroace and I just loved this video in general it was awesome!

[@bmudangel]

Lol thanks , I’m rlly happy u enjoyed my video.

[@-childhappy-]

A good friend of mine sometimes tells me about his asexuality and I’ve been trying to understand their thoughts lately. Idk if they’re aromantic as well, but he definitely has some kind of repulse to this whole relationship thing. So thank you for this video, I think it actually helped me to figure out what is going on in their head :33 Amazing Video and thank you verrryyyy mucchhh for explaining

[@EM-rm2xh]

Just want to put out there that a lot of asexuals (especially from more conservative/repressed places) have to deal with stuff like corrective rape or being prescribed medication to make them "better." The experiences (like so many sexual minorities) are so different, and I hope that asexuals and aromantics understand this.

[@bmudangel]

That’s so true

[@quite_fair]

heyo! aroace here.... it took me a long ass time to figure myself out honestly. discovered asexuality when i was 18, thought that it actually meant aroace (because back in 2011 there was no real explanation for the difference between romantic and sexual attraction), then just didn't think about it for a while. maybe thought i was bi for a while because Women, but then realised that there was a difference between shipping something in fandom and what you want in real life........ and then finally realised again in the pandemic when i had time to like Think About Things, that i indeed am aroace. it's incredibly freeing to finally realise what you are, and i enjoy watching videos of people's experiences being aroace! since it's so few and far between to find aroace people!

[@bmudangel]

I relate sm to ur experience man. Thanks for watching:))

[@TheNOBODY2810]

I’m definitely Asexual. That I know for sure, but I don’t really know my romantic orientation. I’ve only been in one relationship and it was genuinely great but we broke up after awhile of not talking. On that day I was really upset but after my parents talked to me I came to the conclusion of thinking “there’s plenty of fish in the sea”. But after a while I I had no desire to be in a relationship I wasn’t catching any feelings for anyone. Then I saw Jayden animations video of her coming out as Aroace, and the more I watched that video, the more I realised how much I was relating to the video. Then I watched more videos on asexuality and I related to more of other peoples experiences. I finally came to the conclusion that I was asexual and later came out to my family, and they excepted me. I later came out to my friends and we would often talk about it, and we’d often talk about being aromatic, and I’d often tell them, “I think I might be Demi-romantic but I’m really not sure”. So maybe I could be Demi-romantic but again I’m not sure😅. If you’ve made it here to the end, you are a trooper and I salute you. Thanks for reading this if you’ve read this and have a wonderful day💜💚

[@bmudangel]

Yeah I was also thinking maybe Demi romantic. I saw Jayden’s video too and I was rlly happy cuz I adore Jayden

[@Mary-Therese]

I’m pretty sure I’m akio side of both. I like the idea of it and I have attraction towards people (I crush very easily) but I don’t think I have ACTUALLY LIKED someone. Plus, when people I like me it makes me very uncomfortable 😭 even though I do like the idea of it I cannot imagine me doing anything romantic without cringing? Lord help me

[@razorsharpplays2619]

I've known for sure that I'm Aromantic for a while, ever since I realized I had never had a crush on anyone and never knew who to be in a relationship with to even try to pursue a relationship. The thing you said about having fleeting feelings did stick out to me but more about feeling like the sexual attraction I think I may have felt in the past (if that is what it was), were really fleeting. Like for instance, I would see someone I thought was pretty or looked good and then 10 minutes later I would completely forget I even saw that person and wouldn't be thinking about it at all. For me it's not always that I 100% don't feel sexual attraction and more of on the off chance I do feel it, it's not a driving force that makes me want to pursue a relationship with someone or makes me unable to think about anything else except that person, so it's effectively just useless to me. I think I am at least somewhere on the asexual spectrum, but where exactly is very hard to pinpoint because there is an attraction there to a specific gender, although it's not strong enough to push me into a relationship with anyone of that gender in particular.

[@bmudangel]

I relate to u so much. And yeah the fleeting attraction I had was the greysexual side of me acting up. But yeah, I relate 100% to what u said cuz I’m the same way. Check out greysexuality to see if that may suit u.

[@Rae_Mitch]

I was oblivious to being aromantic and even asexual all throughout school. I always knew I liked girls since I was 5 and I'm 21 almost 22. Throughout schooling, I would have feelings for a couple of girls but it wasn't serious it was just the friend-zoning myself lol. But I wasn't upset about it. Being single was always chill with me.

[@bmudangel]

Yeah the single life is great man

[@K-zw1ei]

Wow thank you..I relate as I'm having the same exact conflict/dialogue since childhood...it's definitely a spectrum. At least I can gain some clarity here 😊 subbed

[@henriikkakamula9467]

As a fellow aroace it was nice hearing your thoughts and experiences and stuff :))

[@bmudangel]

Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it

[@stephskeeper6161]

Revisiting this video again. The first time I watched this was over a year ago- and now after some more introspection and hearing your experience again, I think I’ve finally reach a verdict and I think I’ve actually always been on the aromantic spectrum but just never fully realized it. I’ve always experienced very high aesthetic attraction towards people and would find myself wanting to know them better, but I think I’ve been confusing that with romantic attraction this whole time 🤦🏾‍♀️ I’m someone who very much likes my space. And while the idea of having a “special person” is nice, I don’t think I’m capable of loving someone romantically or having a romantic relationship. So now I officially consider myself aroace lol. Thanks again! 💜

[@daydreams8207]

Omg this is exactly what I’ve been feeling. It made me more confused because of cultural expectations and the media/ society. And then I had people telling me “oh you just haven’t found the right person” “or when are you going to get a boyfriend?” Like bro if you don’t just shut up and leave me alone.😭

[@laylascarlett2010]

I’m your 900th subscriber! Soon you’ll get to 1k yay!

[@bmudangel]

Thanks so much!

[@stephskeeper6161]

I know I’m definitely ace, but I don’t know where I fall on the romantic spectrum. I’m able to feel romantic attraction towards others, but once a relationship is actually established, after a while I just lose all interest. It’s like I struggle to make really deep romantic connections with people. I could be absolutely crazy about the person I’m with, but a couple months in and suddenly the “spark” is gone. I’m always chalking it up to ‘Maybe I’m just not finding the right partners to actually connect with’ but I honestly don’t know what to make of it lol.

[@krispilynn]

this is exactly what is happening with me rn 😭😭😭 it’s making me question if it was ever actually romantic attraction at all or i made it up and it is all just so confusing

[@stephskeeper6161]

@@krispilynn Figuring out romantic attraction has been very difficult 🥲 The longest romantic relationship I’ve ever had lasted about 3 years, but my boyfriend at the time ended it because he noticed that the initial “spark” that we had at the beginning was gone. I noticed the “spark” was gone too, but I stayed as long as I did because I tried to rationalize that we were just feeling a drop after the “honeymoon phase” and that eventually the fire would come back. I was generally upset about the relationship being over, but I wasn’t really heartbroken over it. I actually bounced back from it fairly quick. (Just about a month or two) I’m starting to think that maybe I do genuinely experience romantic attraction towards others, but I simply don’t have any real interest in romantic relationships.. But all that does is confuse me even more.. Or better yet, maybe it’s just commitment issues on my part lol. But that also doesn’t feel right, because the idea of being with someone long-term/ getting married doesn’t really put me off. I’m just confusion at this point 😅

[@krispilynn]

@@stephskeeper6161 i'm in such a similar boat 😭. broke up with my girlfriend of about 8 months a month ago because i just could not see myself marrying her (or really anyone for that matter). she didn't understand and i still cry about it sometimes because i feel so guilty about it but it was just... like within the span of 2 weeks without seeing each other for winter break the spark just disappeared and i felt like i was lying to her so i called it off. still confused on whether it wasn't truly romantic attraction or just commitment issues myself! i love the idea of love, but i truly cannot picture myself settling down with one person for the rest of my life. it truly is confusing and that's why i was watching this video because sometimes i hope watching other aro experiences can help me learn a little !

[@cradica]

I think I may be aromantic (maybe not ace though). As far back as I can remember I only had one crush, but I can't think of an reason why I liked her other than "being cute". I was 11 at the time so...

[@daydreams8207]

⁠@@stephskeeper6161I’m not trying to make you feel a certain way but I want to try to give you some ideas so I can also figure this shit out to😭. Maybe you do want to have something exclusive but not romantic. Romantic stuff comes with a lot of expectations and needs. I think you wanting to marry someone could mean you want loyalty but not in the romantic sense but in a way that someone could be loyal and committed to you. Like loving you in a deep way that is not romantic way. Idk just an idea, all what you feel is real and valid🩶

[@kristenrasmussen4135]

This was really helpful for me, thank you for sharing your experience. I'm old enough that I should have some experience in the dating world, being a college sophomore, but I've only ever dated a guy once. And that was maybe a month ago, and we cut it quits after a few weeks. My experiences were pretty much the same. I wasn't comfortable with the contact and I could sense him trying to find ways to kiss me, which made me feel anxious every time we met up. Granted, I feel like he was going too fast whether I wanted it or not. I'd grown up being a friend to people my whole life and was a primary source of attention for myself. So, as in, I'm very comfortable being in my own company and don't find the extra company of a partner all that exciting. I've been considering the possibility that I might be aromantic. Idk, though, I feel like I'm only like this because I don't have enough experience with partners. Because when I'm on my own and in my own thoughts, I can readily swoon at the sight of movie characters in love and imagine if I were to take part in it. But once I'm confronted with the actual attention, I start to feel like an animal being targeted for hunting. It's odd to explain it like that but... agh. In any case, thank you for sharing the experience.

[@bmudangel]

I’m glad u were able to relate to my video. By the sounds it (just for this) it does sound like you could on the aromantic spectrum. If you do some research on the different kind of aromantic types, maybe you’ll find one that best suits ur experience. Thanks for sharing your experience too btw

[@juliii_g]

I had a similar experience.. I dated my best guy friend for two weeks because he was nice and it was existing to have someone like you that way. But when we met up we only talked, held hands and cuddled and even this felt awkward to me.. I didn't want to kiss him at all so we didn't. And after these 2 weeks I broke up because I felt pressured and didn't like him as much as he liked me. It was like a weight was lifted off of my chest 😅

[@smaintfaint5080]

Everything you just said hits close to home for me. I've always been introverted but also socially anxious throughout my high school/college years. That's why I started dating only in my 20's. Until then I was just enjoying romance fiction and romcoms. I was a big fan. I used to think real life romance was the only thing that was missing in my life and that it would make me so so happy.. But when I got into my first relationship I mostly just felt miserable and anxious and guilty cause I couldn't reciprocate his romantic/sexual feelings. We broke up a while ago but this whole thing made me seriously question my identity and whether I wanted to be romantically / sexually involved with someone after all. It's not like I even had something worth pursuing - every "crush" I had over the years felt lackluster and eventually dissipated. I still struggle to make sense of my situation. Am I really aroace? Or do I need to keep dating in the hope of finally finding the "right" person? Whatever I do I feel like an impostor. And I can't brush this issue aside now cause just seems I'm already way behind on my "self-discovery" journey..

[@kristenrasmussen4135]

@Smaint Faint I feel this so hard. Thank you for sharing your experience. The last part you said about being behind on your self-discovery is spot on for me. I only just recently realized I'm bi, but it still doesn't change the problem of pursuing an actual relationship. I know relationships aren't easy, but I want them to be because I'm already tired of life and satisfied with my own company as it is - and troublesome relationships would just make me throw my hands up and not care. I'm actually a hobbyist writer and artist, too. Whatever relationship I want can be created by my standards in a matter of hours. Not so much so an actual relationship. I still have a long way to go before I figure out what I am. I wish you the best of luck, and know you're not alone! Honestly, we have the rest of our lives to figure it out and find someone if we truly want.

[@TntosionOfficial]

This was such a great video and love the funny effects during the storytelling. I’ve never been in a relationship so I can’t 100% confirm if I’m ace but the reason why I don’t get into a relo is because of the idea of sex. I find it cringe and my humour is making sexual innuendos because the idea of me actually having sex with someone is such a joke. In terms of irl crushes, I honestly hate it because of the obsessive thinking. I tend to want to pursue the person but I don’t actually want to date them. That’s why I find having celebrity crushes to be actually better for me because I know that I have 0 chance with them which is both sad but also really comforting.

[@bmudangel]

I rlly relate to what u said! Also thanks for watchin the video, glad you enjoyed it

[@JoIlustra]

Oi eu sou brasileira e me descobri aroace no final do ano passado, não foi uma surpresa tão grande no fundo eu já sabia que eu não gostava de ninguém nem de forma romântica nem sexual, eu queria tem falar que achar videos como esse é bem raro na internet, ranto que até fui ver vídeos de outros países para achar informações sobre os aroaces, mas me indentifiquei um pouco com você que as vezes eu me pergunto sobre minha sexualidade, principalmente por que só tenho 14 anos ainda, mas eu sei que sou aroace só não sei em qual parte do espcetro.

[@femaquine]

This video is so great. And i relate to you so much. I'm in the jouney of really thinking to myself about being aroace bacause it's been a real pain to understand my relationships with people, how i feel about them truly, what i want with my life and what society wants me to persue. Honestly it kind of sucks that i now see how i neglected my feelings this whole time and have been felling so wrong and weird. But at least i feel like im getting somewhere now.

[@skeen2284]

Great vid! I've recently realised that I'm aroace as well and I could relate to your relationship experience super hard. Wish I knew then what I know now as it would've prevented a lot of pain and embarrassment...

[@siginotmylastname3969]

I love this video lmao I relate to this. It's weird but I had these feelings while in traumatic relationships in a way that was kind of a separate thing. Not any sort of trauma thing just really struggling with when I just found relationships gross. Which isn't universal for me but is definitely a thing.

[@bmudangel]

I’m glad you found my video relatable. Thanks for watching :””””””)

[@siginotmylastname3969]

@@bmudangel you're welcome! Very cool video 😊

[@greydebois]

Much love Angel ❤️🙏🏽 great vid btw

[@bmudangel]

Awe THANKYOU

[@quaileeshey3251]

Thank you so much for making this video! I wish I watched it before I decided to get into a relationship with my closest friend. Everything you talked about was exactly how I felt throughout that whole endeavor and it lasted as long as your relationship did too. This video brought me great solace that I am not alone in the way I think

[@windfyre]

I'm questioning if im aroace. you're pretty chill thanks for the video :]

[@bmudangel]

Ahh you’re sweet, and thanks for watching. Hope your self discovery goes well, regardless if you’re aroace or not

[@Mems4lyf]

Yoooo!!! Me too ❤❤❤

[@t.k.5088]

the word: aroace auto-generated subtitles: airways me: aroace auto-generated subtitles: error race me: you can do it~ auto-generated subtitles: a royce me: almost there, you got this. auto-generated subtitles: arrow waste me: well, at least you tried. can we just talk about how proud we should be of humans (sometimes)? i grew up in the 90's and i didn't know i was ace until i was in my early 20s because i've never seen or heard about that word/concept before. needless to say, i only figured out i was aro years later (sigh). i also felt that weird rush of "ooh maybe they like me? maybe they dont! who knows! they pretty~" as soon as i got any confirmation or the person did show signs of romantic interest i'd just be like "...oh. oh, no. ew. ew???" after research i bumped onto the term "lithromantic" (i think it has another term now, but basically meant "when the attraction vanishes the moment it's reciprocated") in the aro spectrum, and I realized i really just liked the concept of relationships. just fiction. not real people. not genitals. pls don't touch me. anyways you heard about asexuality in middle school??? you go, humanity. help these kids figure themselves out sooner rather than later. the existential dread ("something's wrong with me, what am i missing out") that i felt watchin all my classmates makin out in lil parties was almost as bad as the one i felt when someone wanted to make out with me lmaooo

[@bmudangel]

I used to take people liking me as a compliment cuz it meant they thought I was pretty or smth lol. But once ppl started to express their attraction to me, I always wanted to run away. I feel like I’m still the same but I’m more aware now of what it means when ppl like me lol. I learned in middle school cuz my old pal was also asexual and actually learned about it and felt I could relate to them too when I explained to them my experience. I didn’t fully realize I’m asexual until maybe my senior year I think. It kinda drove me a lil crazy not knowing why I couldn’t like ppl back n stuff . But I’m glad I figured it out sooner rather than later

[@t.k.5088]

@bmud angel yeah I totally agree with you! I remember as a teen there was this lil party and this one person who I was pretty convinced I had a crush on suddenly came up to me and asked me to dance with them ... I panicked, said no, ran away and broke down outside. I just couldn't understand why I found them cute but was suddenly disgusted by the idea of them having any interest on me. Similar things happened a few other times in my life and it was awful (sighs). You and your ace friend were so lucky to have each other to talk about this identity so soon! It would've been good if I could've known what was up back then, but all my classmates were Very Allo and, unfortunately, really overse×ualized plus very much wanting to act as adults as soon as possible... tbh, even to this day I wonder how my life would be "if only I liked this person who has something in common with me". And I'm 31! C'mon, brain, it's a bit too late to have internalized aphobia, you should be used to this now! I'm not sure I'm scared of "dying alone", I think my problem is with living until then, sorta? Like, nowadays living expenses are so high. And the older you grow, the less often you'll find roommates because the tendency is allos getting married and forming their own families, so... how am I gonna afford living later on?? Moving to smaller cities could mean lower rent, but also fewer hospitals and healthcare is very important the older you get... ugh, that's the scary part to me. 🫠

[@bmudangel]

@@t.k.5088 i get where ur coming from man. I try not to think too much about being alone, especially since I’ve been raised in a biggish family household so I’ve never rlly been alone for even 24 hours. Im 21 and I want to to move out but I’m about worried on how I would even afford stuff nowadays . It’s not like I can just have a partner to move in with like a lot of ppl. I don’t rlly have anyone I could live. Sometimes I worry about being alone and making friends is hard as an adult

[@t.k.5088]

@bmud angel can confirm... Not only is it harder to make friends as an adult, it's also hard to keep your older friendships as they move on with their lives. I think the hardest part is when they say things like "I'm here for you!" And like... no, you're not. You have your own place and job, a partner, or a marriage, and pets, some even children, I'm never gonna be on their priority list as their families would. Unfortunately, society still won't see friendships in the same level as they'd see family... But hey, at least we don't ever have to worry about abusive or toxic significant others 🫠 I'm glad at least you got your family around you! You can always be the cool cousin with 10 cats/dogs and enough skills to play video games with the kids at parties 😅

[@bmudangel]

@@t.k.5088 bro that HURT cuz YEAH MAN. Like my best friend is busy with her life . she’s in college rn, she even got recently married and pregnant. I’m so incredibly happy for her (she even made me the godmother of her kid) and I want to keep her in my life forever but at the same time, I’m a little sad cuz ik it means I’ll just be pushed further and further to the side as her life becomes too full for me. Sometimes I think feeling this way is selfish. Sometimes I think I should befriend a couple rlly aro/ace ppl cuz I won’t need to worry about them being “taken away” by a partner (even though being in a relationship isn’t the only thing that can take up a chunk of ppls lives ). Then I started thinking if I should search for a platonic partner cuz I was being swallowed by loneliness (my best friend is my only friend pretty much cuz keeping and gaining friends is hard af lol). Thinking a platonic partner won’t leave me and we can still be friends. I was just going through such a journey to learn how to live as an AroAce person who would seem to live such a lonely life. But I realized I just need to make more friends (as hard as it is) and I’ll get a dog or few. Maybe even still have roommates but not be paranoid of them leaving me one day. Just have friends and family visit me all the time or I visit them. I can have a full and happy life. It just will be different to what others would consider a full and happy life.

[@NcisfanwithTivafever]

Look into fray-romantic. It might explain why once you develop a connection with a crush/squish, then your attraction fades.

[@eduardaazevedo3450]

Hi,your video help me to realize that im aroace and that I always push myself to be a person that im not.

[@bmudangel]

I’m glad I could help !

[@obvi.angell]

I hate it. Everyone tells their stories on how they accidentally kissed their crush, how they held hands in P.E. class with their crush by accident, etc. I. Have. Nothing. Nothing to tell. I hate school, so that’s why I want a crush. To at least make my school years worthwhile. But no! Thanks a lot, Cupid. Thanks a lot. I’m still kinda questioning it though, so I have a 00.01% that I am not AroAce. But I also have a 99.99% I am AroAce. And right now, it sucks. One thing though, I got the terrible ick when I was 3 or 4 when I was told by my parents that I would marry someone one day, and 👏to👏this👏day👏 I still don’t want to get married. Wouldn’t it be embarrassing and yucky? Ew… Also, sexual things give me a big ick too. So, I guess there is a little hope if I find out I’m actually AroAce.

[@bmudangel]

Hey experiencing those awkward moments like accidentally kissing your crush or smth is actually great to have missing out. I have awkward high school moments that I just wish never happened lol. Though who needs crushes or romance to have an interesting high school life. Engaging in clubs, school activities, or maybe even doing light rule breaking with friends is fun too.

[@obvi.angell]

@@bmudangel Thanks a lot : )

[@Parker_Lot]

I think I’m aromantic or grayromantic… I’m not sure entirely but I know I am up there, as well as asexual. It’s nice to hear experiences from other people, I feel like we have so little resources online as compared to other queer identities

[@Mimi12350]

I saw that on your account, it says like you’re weird. You’re not weird at all. I’m asexual myself. I feel no sexual or romantic desire towards a man or a woman. I don’t feel some romantic feelings or desire feelings also towards a man or a woman ! And I don’t feel any sexual attirance or feeling attirance towards man or woman ! All I like is to be happy with myself and at peace with myself and enjoy the present moments with myself ! That’s why I love single ! And there are some people who are asexual right now also ! Peace all of you ! 🤍🤍🤩🤩🤩☀️🌞

[@bmudangel]

[@OtakuGunsoNY]

lots of good points are made here :D I'm asexual but I don't feel like I can claim aromantic because I have attachment injuries and complex trauma stemming mostly from emotional neglect xD

[@amadiaamadia2438]

unrelated but u look so cool and ut vibe is immaculate

[@bmudangel]

Awe thanks

[@Lyrawolfbane]

I’m asexual, but I want a romantic connection. I want the emotional part of relationships. Not sex.

[@marissa798]

Always looking to better understand all the folks in the community, so this was really helpful. Thanks for sharing your experience ☺️🤙

[@gabrielledooling8538]

This was such a great video and you explained everything I’ve been going through. I was questioning myself even though I knew I was asexual, but my family said I just need to start dating so I was thinking maybe I should date to see if I am or not. But I’m not sure if I’ll be able to date unless the person is understanding. Honestly, dating just grosses me out and kinda wish it didn’t because I want kids in the future.(even though I don’t want to do the nasty) I think wanting kids is the only reason I’d want partner which is kind of messed up. I think I could love someone but just not in a romantic way. I’m just conflicted at this point .

[@bmudangel]

Where there is like queerplatonic relationships or like co-parenting. Have someone who is like a platonic partner, raising a kid together. Adopting or having someone carry a baby for u. You don’t need to settle in a relationship if u truly don’t want to. Having kids is a total separate thing I believe. I don’t want kids but it’s not cuz I’m aroace n stuff, it’s just not smth I want personally.

[@gabrielledooling8538]

@@bmudangel So true I think a relationship like that is something that could totally work for me

[@MegaBemma]

Thanks for sharing your story, your experiences are quite similar to mine and I’m pretty sure I’m aro ace too.

[@bmudangel]

M glad you found my video relatable. Thanks for listening to my chattering lol

[@nivi8550]

This was so relatable! Thank you so much :)

[@bmudangel]

I’m happy u were able to relate , thanks for watchin

[@thenovicechef1108]

I just realized most of my crushes are just wanting to be close to be with them. I just can't imagine doing the deed with someone else. Is this why I'm always confuse? Because I'm trying to fit in with the normal standard of love?

[@arny625]

Fr

[@mazhiang_dishia_]

I'm a sexually and romantically repulsed ace aro. Realised in 5th grade and came out in 7th grade. It was very easy for me to pinpoint exactly what i am, but very difficult actually accepting myself because i come from the balkans, and here being queer is a crime. Not by law (anymore), but most people here will treat you like you're a villain, and depending on where exactly you live, you can actually be assaulted and have no protection from the authorities. Which really sucks but things are *SLOWLY* getting better🤷🏽‍♀️ Even tho people here suck the culture is really cool, here kissing (on the cheek, forehead), holding hands, hugging isn't inherently romantic/sexual. Which is why i can do that with friends/family without feeling insecure/disgusted. I don't see those things as sexual/romantic. Tbh I'm glad i was born this way, my life is much much easier than my peers. I consider myself blessed. And i can't feel loneliss so everything's perfect ^-^

[@kaseyford1490]

That 2nd relationship you mentioned in middle school was the EXACT same experience I had with my only boyfriend 13 years ago when I was about 21! It only lasted 2 weeks coz I felt uncomfortable but he got really hurt after the 'fake' breakup 😅 I've never dated nor had feelings that strong for anyone else since then either so I guess I've always been Aroace but only made the realisation this year just before turning 35 😂 By the way, I'm writing this in Pride Month too. Happy Pride everyone 💚🖤💜

[@bmudangel]

Happy pride 🏳️‍🌈!!

[@laylascarlett2010]

I’m aroace yay

[@acebase14days]

Love your humor bruh xdd

[@bmudangel]

Tyy

[@lilasiansquat4526]

I just discovered I am on the aroace spectrum. For the longest time, I thought something was weird about me. I’ve never had real crushes except small infatuations with celebrities, book characters, tv/movie characters (made up people). My idea of love is based on what outside sources say and not my personal experience. I don’t detest the idea of love and sex, in fact I think the idea of finding your love and feeling comfortable enough to do intimate things sounds good; I just don’t think I am capable of experiencing those levels of attraction. I don’t like hugs, kissing, holding hands. When someone confessed their feelings to me, I legitimately got terrified rather than excited. The first and last date I went on was so awkward and bad because I felt nothing towards the guy. Whenever I tell people that I’m aroace, they react as if it’s impossible for any human being to never experience romantic attraction. They would try to reassure me that one day I’ll find my Prince Charming, thinking that I should be feeling bad that I never liked anyone. Now that I know that I’m aroace, I wish I can go back in time and tell those people that there’s nothing wrong with me, there’s nothing to be sorry for, and nothing wrong with not seeking out for love.

[@bmudangel]

I’m glad for your discovery. It sucks u had to go through the awkward stuff but ig that helps people to figure out what we like and don’t like. Thanks for sharing your experience with me and the fellows in the comments.

[@Valentino016]

I had a crush once. Only on a guy in my class in highschool. I thought it was weird because I am also a guy so. Then a few days later I didnt care about him but we ended up being great friends. After that I didnt have any crushes that was the only one I had. I found out about aroace then when I was thinking of my sexuality. It described me perfectly so I just went with it. But im also kind of scared because my parent really want me to get married but I dont want to. So coming out to them is gonna be a weird thing.

[@bmudangel]

Well ofc u come out to your parents when you’re comfortable. Cuz it might be agitating if they don’t get it. But don’t be pressured into marriage if it’s not true to you. Anyways, good luck with it all.

[@Hanna_monn_lvsuarmyhope]

Estoy investigando del tema porque realmente creo que ser bisexual fue una etapa pero todo para encontrar el sentido de que en realidad siempre he sido aroace. Aun no estoy segura pero creo que es lo mas probable, y cada cosa que aprendo y descubro sobre el tema me hace sentir un poco menos perdida en el mundo. He podido encontrar sentido a pensamientos que poca gente de mi entorno tiene

[@sandwich_multistanversion]

I'm thinking about me being aromantic or aroace, I haven't had any crushes except in one situation where a boy liked me for the first time so we got closer and now I realized that it was basically just like a relationship 😭 looking back, I feel pretty good and know that he wasn't any good for me. I always helped with his mental problems and I couldn't say no to physical touch etc. So I felt pretty uncomfortable sometimes. I'm still a teenager so I'm wondering of I might not have enough experience? Aroace pretty much fits with my experiences but I'm just not 100% if I could label myself already 😭

[@bmudangel]

If you don’t feel comfortable putting like a hard stamp label on yourself just yet, that’s totally fine. You can just say like, “I may be aro/aroace but I’m not sure yet.” It’s perfectly fine.

[@rafaelmezettihumbert2971]

Im 19 and always had this at the back of my head but really just started really considering it after my last "relationship". I had past relationships wich did not work (i just wanted to get out of them like mu life depended on It even tho i thought the person was nice and pretty) and this last one was when shit got real cause we were both older and it felt like a real relationship wich made me feel so grossed out for a reason i couldnt understand. So i started thinking that i probably am aroace. However im Still doubting a little cause all of my relationships were with Very romantic people and i kind of hate cheesy stuff (or maybe they were normal and im the different one). Also, i really want to have a person to share life with and be like > my < person but when i think about getting lovey dovey i want to vomit. At least i know i hate cheesy. Recently i got this crush (at least i think It is) and i dont know if i want to get with them. I dont think so but i also wish we could be each others "person" (?). I DONT KNOW. I dont wanna kiss him tho 😭 help

[@bmudangel]

U want a Queer platonic relationship?

[@rafaelmezettihumbert2971]

@@bmudangel maybe? I dont really know. I guess it does bend more towards that direction. Tho i would still like to be physical with them, in the sense of hugs and being near them. Would that be weird in a platonic relationship?

[@bmudangel]

Well it depends on who ur with but the whole thing about queer platonic relationships is that it pushes the boundaries of what is “normal“ between friends. Almost like a couple but platonically. So a lot of physical attention like hugging and stuff would be fine.

[@asherwatts]

When you tell your friends about how you are aroace, (I did), and they either take it as a joke, don’t understand it or thing there is something wrong with it. Honestly it is so annoying when you say that to my friends and even though they know that they go “oh, you LiKe HeR, dOn’T yOu?” Oh my god. And then if I make sexual jokes they go “oh yeah and you say you’re asexual”… like I can make jokes about that stuff even though I have no desire for that and that kinda stuff is kinda really offensive and when I remind them they go like “bro, that’s so sad” “why are you choosing this for yourself, you are going to be lonely for the rest of your life” like BRO that is kinda the thing, I don’t choose it for myself. I kinda like “want to.. want to” have a relationship. Sometimes people can be misunderstanding and i get that, can’t really blame them but I am kinda sick of it man but whatever. I am aroace and I sort of can’t do anything about it but hey, that’s life.

[@bmudangel]

Yeah sometimes to be simple, I just tell ppl I don’t do relationships. Sometimes over explaining can be so draining.

[@sassysoul7779]

Super relatable! Thanks for sharing! Subscribed!

[@bmudangel]

I’m glad u think so! Thanks for subbing :))

[@Cool.Aunt.Lilith]

Hai I'm aroace and while watching this video i related a lot lol... Especially for the friends crush thing of when I'm interested in someone but not in a romantic way (i also cringe a lot while thinking of being in a relationship) I also wanted to say that im pretty young and people tell me that it's normal because I'm too young, and even tho ik that's kinda wrong i am confused, maybe one day I'll really develop a romantic or sexual attraction?

[@bmudangel]

Maybe you will develop those sorts of attractions, maybe you won’t. maybe you’ll still have those sort of attractions but still be on the aroace spectrum- either way is okay! It is tricky when you’re young but It’s perfectly fine to label yourself as aroace if you believe is true and if you get older and possibly feel that label doesn’t suit u anymore, that’s totally okay too. You know you best

[@ThePinkfluf]

Loved your vid ! Thnku. I learned a thing or two thnku ☺️

[@bmudangel]

Thanks and no problem:--)

[@blep226]

Im demi but its nice to see other people on aroace spectrum out there :)

[@bmudangel]

It is :)

[@tumbicatlighting6610]

Bro I thought I was just broken when I didn’t have feelings for the person I was in a relationship with or didn’t like touching the person I was dating with. I personally think I’m Demiaroace or just aroace but mostly when I was in a relationship I just can’t find myself to love someone that easily and it kinda felt forced because of me trying to feel something or me trying to make people happy, that I don’t have those “feelings” like the people who are dating feels. I feel like I can’t really accept it because maybe I’m in denial but I’m trying to accept it because it’s just there and i can’t control it. Honestly having crushes felt also kinda not my thing at all because I feel like it’s more of what interests I have in the person but I still don’t know what I want from a person so I’m just like so clueless of a relationship but I know how a relationship is supposed to be, I just can’t feel the same way like a normal person and it feels weird. 😢

[@madelinevlogs5898]

I’m allosexual and idk exactly where I am on the romantic spectrum, but I have a lot of aro and ace friends. I’m dating an asexual person. I watch videos by aro and ace people so I can understand them better.

[@bmudangel]

That’s rlly good! It’s important to learn more about the people we care about

[@Mirayshimura]

Eu comecei a suspeitar que eu seria Aroace por que desde de nova as "atrações" que eu sentia sumia bem rapido e eu sempre corria das pessoas que eu tinha ou parecia ter um crush de escola kkkkk quando tentei andar de mãos dadas com alguém foi a coisa mais desconfortavel, e eu não gosto de toque fisico o que piorou bem mais a situação kkkkk