Twenties advice I FAILED AT 🤦🏻‍♀️ *cringe alert*

[@IrisMobiel]

One quote I think about a lot is "Don't absorb criticism from people you wouldn't go to for advice." When I was just looking up the exact wording of that quote in The Comfort Book, I also came across another good one: "Don't say yes to things you wish you had the confidence to say no to."

[@FullyBookedMelissa]

This is a great one

[@ms.z461]

Love this. Double snaps

[@alisonallen8658]

" Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better do better." Maya Angelou (of course) cured my 'what if' and cringing about the past!

[@Orlagh]

Love that! Thanks for sharing :)

[@alisonallen8658]

@@Orlagh quotest of the quoters!

[@Larissa-xu9ux]

Amazing! 👏👏👏

[@rainygreymornings]

I need to get that framed 💛

[@jenkrr]

"Work doesn't love you back"

[@eleanorellis2371]

"If something feels cheesy to you then lucky you" is such a simple but amazing lesson in sympathy to other people

[@emzix33]

My mum sent me this recently: “These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.” - Najwa Zebian I think about it a lot

[@changelingreader14]

Ooo. I think I follow her on Instagram. I want to eventually read her book. I think that quote and many other good ones have come from it.

[@evahanson5424]

Lately I’ve been comforted by a tumblr post I saw that went “literally do not ever trust anything bad you feel about your life between the hours of 11pm and 6am” Now when I get stuck in cycles of angst and dread at 12:30am I know that it’s bedtime and things will feel better in the morning

[@hannahweston6185]

Kind of similar, but a quote that might have been the only useful thing to come out How I Met Your Mother: ‘Nothing good happens after 2am’ (generally applied to night’s out/parties, but also applicable-ish elsewhere), definitely helped me exit situations at the right time!

[@theonlyenekoeneko]

It’s so true though

[@Victoria-dh9vb]

The 7 signs of loneliness felt like a personal attack

[@theonlyenekoeneko]

Same :/ Although a lot of my oversharing tendencies is due to autism but it does hit home. And it makes sense.

[@Aeiouaaaaaaaaa]

Oof same. Especially because I really thought I had gotten over it but I’m wondering if it’s just showing up in different ways now

[@bookishdaydreams4993]

“The worst thing about you is not the truest thing.” This is just common sense really, but it really helped me! You’re not a horrible person just because you did something bad one time.

[@360shadowmoon]

HOLY CRAP you have no idea how much I needed to hear that.

[@bookishdaydreams4993]

@@360shadowmoon Glad to pass along the wisdom then :)

[@360shadowmoon]

One lesson I learned from experience that I really wish I had known earlier: You can sympathize with someone’s trauma while not validating their maladaptive behavior. I used to allow and tolerate a lot of bad behavior from people in my life because there was some underlying trauma or history. However, it’s important to still call out bad behavior and expect people to improve while being sympathetic to their struggles. This is especially true with peers and people who are older. Obviously, some tolerance can be provided for children.

[@agathes5456]

i really needed to hear the “forgive yourself for what you did in survival mode” quote. it really resonates thank you!!

[@sparkleparty5947]

Just don't forget to ask people around you for forgiveness too, if you fucked them over while in survival mode lol

[@sparkleparty5947]

I dont mean "you" as in YOU seasalt I just mean that could be added on to the quote as a qualifier!!! lol sorry!

[@lauragibbons1951]

I saw an Instagram video recently which said something along the lines of "my body is not a vending machine. You can't put rest in and expect productivity to come out. It's not transactional" and that has really been helping me rest without apology and cope with being a person who has multiple chronic illnesses and is often disabled by them, especially fatigue. I spent so long wondering why all the rest I was putting in for my recovery from burnout wasn't rewarding me with productivity.

[@jackiemartin7276]

@lauragibbons1951 Thank you so much for sharing this. I had never even considered this idea and I'm absolutely blown away. Thank you so much.

[@meremeth]

This one's my favourite from my saved folder, it kicked me in the ass for sure The bad news: Every person you love will be impacted by your unresolved trauma. The good news: Every person you love will profoundly benefit from your healing.

[@Jojo-kl6tx]

Ouch but damn, I get it! Thanks for sharing❤️

[@BrookeInProgress]

Welp, as someone who just started some long overdue therapy, this hits deep.

[@proudveggie]

My biggest learn which helps me to choose kindness is that "everyone is doing their best with the life experience and information that they have, everyone is doing what they think is their best choice. If you were them, you'd be doing the same thing". Very few people genuinely move through the world trying to make it a worse place, and everyone can only be as good as the options they feel they have. The focus should be on educating and forgiveness, not vitriol and judgement.

[@EleanorSays]

"you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm" 🤯

[@ninasmrwhite8650]

i heard this one recently: dont kill the part of you that is cringey, kill the part of you that cringes

[@catvalentine4317]

Yeees, I love it!!

[@wall-e1793]

One thing a Pastor once told me is that when he meets somebody he usually treats them as if they were really struggling, and more than half of the time he's right. I think about it often & it helps me being more forgiving towards myself and others.

[@helenwright413]

I saw this on KZbin, it blew my mind, and I wish I'd known it sooner: "If your friends leave you in unsafe situations, those people don't care about you and are not your friends". I hope this helps someone else out here ❤ xXx

[@oggyboggy8692]

I don't want to speak for anyone else's situations, just for myself and people in my life. People I still keep as friends have done this to me, and I see some of them as honest mistakes that I have forgiven. I could have also made the mistakes that have sometimes been done to me. We have to draw our own lines at what is forgivable to us and what isn't.

[@helenwright413]

@@oggyboggy8692 I understand that we are human and therefore aren't infallible. I am also one of the most forgiving people you will ever meet. Case in point: my "friend" left me in an unsafe situation, which she knew to be unsafe, I was sexually assulted and I still forgave her and was friends with her for 3 years after that. It's about knowing your worth, you are worthy of care from your friends. If they don't give you a second thought, if they "just want to get home/she'll be fine", if they don't call to check you got home safe etc, they don't care about your safety and are therefore not good friends. You deserve better.

[@fionastabler]

‘Everything you want is on the other side of fear’ That one has been so directly true for me - all of the best experiences, career events, life events, and friendships, have come as the result of me doing something that seemed originally terrifying.

[@toniat.1738]

Oh my god yes! I had found this quote on pinterest maybe 8-10 years ago and it resonated with me so much. Sometimes you just need to push yourself a little to experience what you want.

[@ImSoCool2403]

Yes, agreed but another idea I found helpful is that of the "growth zone". I feel like "other side of fear" is saying to "go outside of your comfort zone" but it's been helpful for me to realise that there is outside comfort which is helpful and productive and that which is so far outside it puts me in fight-or-flight and recognising the difference :)

[@MLiesel]

@@ImSoCool2403 Yes! I’ve been learning a bit about the nervous system, and recognizing that if I push too far beyond my comfort zone, I throw myself into fight,flight,freeze, flee, fawn mode, and it’s nearly impossible to learn, and difficult for me to accomplish anything, in that state of nervous system activation. I’m learning to tend to my nervous system and self-soothe as I take manageable steps outside my comfort zone, so I can grow at a pace that keeps my nervous system from freaking out

[@gloriaash7511]

“Life in chapters”… oh… my bibliophile friend, we love the books and yet we cannot be the books. 😅

[@PipReads]

Not advice but a quote that made me reflect on my life and choices: beware the barrenness of a busy life

[@michelleboon7646]

Not an insta quote, but a song lyric: "All of a sudden you're a hostage to the things you thought you wanted." And if that isn't the first few months/years after finishing school trying to "follow your dreams," I don't know what is.

[@chelseahahn5763]

Damn. Needed to hear this!

[@emilyb3875]

Oof I graduated university exactly one year ago today and I feel that with my whole chest

[@faith2876]

"Sometimes their behaviour is the answer you need" falls into the camp of things I didn't want to hear today (but I did need to hear). I'm in a ~will they won't they~ relationship struggle at the moment, and frankly, I'm waiting for a conversation that isn't going to come. I need to let their actions speak for themselves.

[@Jojo-kl6tx]

Always a bad sign if their actions don't match their words as well... I know it's tough as fuck. But I felt a lot of relief after breaking it off. Wishing you the best!🥰

[@faith2876]

@@Jojo-kl6tx I really appreciate this comment, thank you! I feel like I'm clinging on to false hope, but it really is tough, especially as I've ended up far more invested than was my intent.

[@borkbork4124]

@@Jojo-kl6tx Omg just wrote a comment with the same sentiment. It is so true, if things don’t line up, time to go. I had to do that with my friend in high school. She also did a lot of what was on the list of betrayl. When I would confront her, she woukd yell and me and blame me. She had her own rpovlems in her life, but that does not mean I should be her punching bag. Breaking it off helped immensely and has given me more self respect and confidence to advocate for myself in all my relationships.

[@sarahnelson8836]

You deserve someone who doesn’t question that you belong on a journey together. Someone who isn’t one foot out the door to see if something better comes along. Life is hard. Partnership should make it easier, if it doesn’t - leave.

[@kurukuruneko]

One of my favs: "I've changed so much in past years, I might have to reintroduce myself" Why the hell people treat me like I was a trinket on a shelf for past 10 years and didn't change a bit? I'm alive, I constantly grow or experience things, I'm never the same I'm used to be, and this phrase put a bit of a peace to this agony of "people will never see me as I am now, all they see is my past image they're confortable with"

[@marym361]

I don't remember who said it, but a page I follow posted something to the effect of, "we must give up hoping for a better past." Moving on doesn't have to mean forgetting, but... hope is for the future, eh?

[@selma_el]

I read a comic strip in 2015 and to this day it's still on my mind ! It's baopu #15 by Yao Xiao, briefly illustrating the importance of saying ''thank you'' instead of ''I'm sorry''. It really helped me express gratitude more easily, and it puts the focus on the great qualities of my friends who are there for me and accept me no matter what, instead of constantly putting myself down with self-depreciative comments here and there.

[@evahanson5424]

I saw a similar (if not the same) comic a couple years back too!! Practicing this feels really good, and it’s helped me remove some guilt around asking for help or other things I might need

[@marshmellowsquash]

I used to watch Meghan Reinks who I remember mentioned that her therapist had told her 'If it's hysterical, it's historical', meaning if you have a super heightened emotional response to something, it's likely because the response is cumulative from you having experienced it before. Helped me understand some big feelings and I think about it a lot.

[@NoFaceInTheCrowd]

Watching this series is a little bit like going to an older sister for advice 😊

[@ricardaseven6083]

My two most impactful ones that I regularly remind myself of are "if people want you in theit lives, they will make it happen" bc I tend to run after people who don't put as much effort into the friendship as I do and I need to get better at letting the other person influence the relationship as well and also "don't feel guilty about making life easier for yourself" especially in terms of handling situations that are bad for my mental health

[@borkbork4124]

Yes, the pandemic helped me learn that skill that if someone is not putting in the effort, then I just do my half, and wait to see if they will do the same (such as text me back, text me first about something, ask me to go out with them for the day, ask ME how I am doing). If they didn’t, then it usually just fizzled out. Some relationships were due to friends transferring to a diff 4 yr uni than me, so that distance naturally makes people grow apart, BUT for some that distance DOES NOT stop them from calling me every week and sending my memes. Challenges like that show who is willing to stick around.

[@shaniquasparkles]

I like the idea of letting the other person influence the friendship. While Leena was talking about the signs of loneliness, the last one about obsessing about friendships hit me kind of hard. I'm learning to loosen my grip on my relationships and just be comfortable in knowing that I did my best. If the other person doesn't respond in kind (especially after I've communicated my emotional needs), then I have to consider that maybe I'm actually better off not being as close to them as I thought I should be.

[@uploadingjess]

Ok that last one I needed to hear. Thanks for sharing!

[@theonlyenekoeneko]

Instagram has been such a little haven for learning more about my neurotype and from other's experiences, so I love to read the little nuggets of wisdom like these. Sure some are cringe, but it's a take what you need, leave what you don't system.

[@alexisreve1]

"You still haven't met all the people who are going to love you" has kept me going for years now.

[@t.kruste3085]

Leena, your internet presence gives me a lot of comfort. Thank you for not listening to it, when you think that what you do here might sometimes be to silly. It fills me with a lot of joy

[@oohlookatthatdoggo]

I was going to say the same thing!

[@pingy2410]

Oh, I loved this video. I used to be quite dismissive of so-called ~inspirational quotes~ but after going through a breakup last year and very very sad period afterwards I found so much comfort in them and I now have an Insta saved board too. One of my favourites (which I think I actually found through you sharing on stories Leena) says something along the lines of "just because it could have been different, doesn't mean it would have been better".

[@FateWorseThanDeath]

When I was teaching my toddlers about saying sorry I realized I needed to teach them how to acknowledge a sorry as well. I didn't like the idea of teaching them the standard response I always knew of "its okay". Instead I taught them to say "I accept your apology".

[@theonlyenekoeneko]

Can also offer “thank you for your apology”, for cases where they don’t currently feel they can accept it or forgive the person

[@aimeelelievre9280]

2 faves that spring to mind. "Just because you understand someone's behaviour doesn't mean you need to put up with it." and "When someone shows you who they are, believe them." yeeep. spent a lot of time putting up with bullshite in my 20s 🙃

[@cfloster]

The "not ending relationships" thing validates me so much. I was so pissed I had to break up with my ex even though he was the one who wasn't in it...

[@rebeccag859]

Talking about cyclical moments and healing reminded me of an excerpt from Nancy J Napier's 'Getting Through the Day: Strategies for Adults Hurt as Children'. She says, "It also helps to remember that healing occurs in a spiral. We swing around again and again to the same old issues, but at different turns of the spiral. Each time we confront a similar feeling or reaction we have yet another opportunity to learn and to heal. Each time, we bring with us whatever new understanding we have gained since the last time we cycled through this particular difficulty." The relief and comfort I got from this quote was unreal as I constantly felt like I was back to square one when an 'old' issue would resurface! Thought you may like it p.s. as always leena great vid :)

[@eveklinger4134]

Thank you so much for posting this quote, I need to tell myself this over and over again. Now I have put it on my vision board as a daily reminder. On a similar note: "Life isn´t about climbing as high as you can - life is about circles. It´s about coming back to the places where parts of you belong" from Musa Okwonga´s ´In the end, it was all about love´. This line was probably the most important one for me to read last year. But honestly, really taking this to heart is so challenging every time again and a good opportunity to practice self-acceptance.

[@blimeyacey]

the one where u talk about how you'll meet more friends and ppl who will love you later was nice cause i'm 22 and i've been like pressuring myself to find friendships that will last forever RIGHT NOW bc i'm so afraid of loneliness. so that was nice

[@meikusje]

Something very useful that I learned in my twenties is that it is ALWAYS a good thing to reflect on your own behavior and responses in situations of conflict. Even if someone kind of objectively 'wronged' you (say, a partner cheated on you), you will still learn a lot from asking yourself the question 'why am I responding this way, where do my emotions stem from, what is at the core of this response' etc. Anger is a secondary emotion, it exists to disguise other emotions that nay be more complex and difficult to analyze. So taking a step back and taking the time to analyze your primary emotions will lead to more self-awareness, which also makes it easier to articulate to the other person what you are feeling, and come to a solution or an idea of what you need from that other person to make amends. Looking at people around me, I feel like a lot of us have been conditioned to have very rigid responses to certain types of conflict, and treat them as black and white issues, while in reality all interpersonal relationships are incredibly layered and complex, and working through conflict instead of ending a relationship immediately will actually bring you more understanding and can deepen your relationship, bring you closer together. And I'm not talking about solely romantic relationships either. But how often do you hear about people who wasted years not talking to each other because of something that happened in the past, and then something else happens that makes them realize how silly their conflict was, how easily it could have been set aside. You have the power to avoid that from happening. And even if you do come to the conclusion that the right way to move forward for you involves ending the relationship, you at least made that decision after a moment of introspection, and now you can enter new relationships with the knowledge you gained from this old one.

[@wibbley_wobbly3580]

Definitely connected with the "it's ok to feel sad about things you thought healed from". I had a friendship breakup with a best friend about 10 years ago and just a few days ago started randomly feeling sad about it again. And also cringing at myself remembering the reasons they gave me for not wanting to be my friend anymore. I think I learned a lot from that experience and am happy with my friendships now, but I still sometimes get sad..

[@toniat.1738]

I also noticed myself yesterday feeling sad about a friendship breakup from 7 years ago, even though I thought I was over it. I know it's probably for the best but I couldn't help but think "what if we were still friends?".

[@wibbley_wobbly3580]

@@toniat.1738 Exactly... I feel like friendship breakups are often harder than romantic breakups. Maybe because we don't get a focus on it in pop culture, so we are not prepared xD

[@toniat.1738]

@@wibbley_wobbly3580 The thing I don't like in friendship breakups is that sometimes it's not a clear ending, like in romantic relationships, so you don't know why they didn't want to be your friend anymore. In my case, they just stopped talking to me and I never knew why, I could only make guesses.

[@potnoodlegirl]

"No is a complete sentence." You don't owe anyone a justification!

[@chelseahahn5763]

"Extraordinary is created, not found." As someone who is always wondering if there's a "better version" of my life/work/relationships/etc out there, this continues to be such an important reminder that anything I do is going to take work to turn it into the best version of itself, and that just because something takes effort, doesn't mean that it's not meant to be.

[@aliciar4715]

One quote that helped me a lot was "You are so brave and so quiet I forget you are suffering", by Hemingway. I was going through very rough stuff and It seemed that the people in my Life had moved on, but I hadn't. It made me feel so acknowledged

[@crazysavvyloverlee]

Even if you were the juiciest peach in the world there’s still someone who hates 🍑

[@HannahlovesStories]

Wow. “Forgive yourself for what you did in survival mode” got me good! 😭 I needed to hear that. This is my favorite twenties tool kit episode yet! Thank you Leena!

[@PIlviivliP]

the one I need to remind myself about every 2-3 months or so is: "You can't pour from an empty cup - take care of yourself first" even if you want to help others, or take on responsibilities, or do more/better... if you're not feeling in the right place for it now, you're probably not helping as much as you think...

[@Orlagh]

To add to the last one, I love saying "Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda. Beverly Knight" after anything ha!

[@eliza.the.earthling]

The “it’s okay” is interesting for me. As a teacher of kids aged 7-8, kids sometimes need some help to sort through friendship issues and when one apologises for their behaviour the other will often say “it’s okay”. Then we discuss how what they did isn’t okay BUT how it’s good that they’ve apologised etc. I’ve taught these kids that saying sorry means never doing it again (or at least trying really hard not to do it again), which is something I think some adults forget or never learned… ✨

[@Thebadactress]

Sometimes I'm afraid to watch these as I'm 32 and very much winging it. But I am always glad I did ❤️

[@Larissa-xu9ux]

Leena, I'm in survival mode rn and this video helped me SO MUCH. I love these things, I keep my fav quotes on my Pinterest. "No one is you and that is your power". BOOMMMMM, mind-blowing moment for me when I first read it 😄 "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." This one changed my life. One of my fav Instagram/Pinterest posts is a drawing with just a big circle representing your life and then a tiny dot that goes "this moment". It helps me a lot when life gets tough.

[@CatStripes2]

I think if you look back on mistakes or the less than ideal choices the younger you made and cringe, you've grown imo

[@anin888]

I've loved reading the quotes in these comments so I'll add a couple of my own 😊 "time enjoyed isn't wasted" helped me to stop feeling guilty about the down time binge watching something, or reading a trashy book or just not doing much. Particularly when I was travelling and felt I had to be Making The Most Of It all the time. "A ship is safe in harbour but that's not what ships are built for" also sometimes gives me a needed push

[@Olivia-gl5fj]

I love this series! I just turned 22 yesterday and feeling a little lost in life😅

[@shaniquasparkles]

I actually have a lot of screenshots of instagram quotes haha. (I should really just save them but sometimes I don't like going to the app so I just go to my gallery instead.) A short but impactful one is a tumblr post that has "don't waste your youth" crossed out and instead says "don't feel like you're wasting your youth by not doing what everyone else your age is doing." I've been feeling a lot of pressure to "catch up" with everyone and accomplish age-specific milestones. This reminds me that it's just all just time anyway and I should spend it the way I think is most valuable for me, not because ~society told me to.

[@meganchung69]

"life is to be loved, not lamented" it's from a video game from like 2007 and some random no name NPC says it, but in the moment when I read it and was playing it I was at a low point and it really resonated with me. I said it to a friend around the same time and he comes back to it and will repeat it to me every now and then.

[@thes0mething]

I think I'm on the other side now and it's always easier to have hindsight. I think one thing that all this revolves around is that the greatest friendship you'll have is with yourself. Doesn't mean you love your friends any less, but it means you stand up for and prioritise yourself. Funnily enough I think this has paradoxically made me a better and kinder person. I used to think my whole world would explode if I stood up for myself and that I'd lose everyone. It was a selfish but very understandable fear. I ended up needing a lot of therapy to get me on this journey because that fear was so ingrained in me. What actually ended up happening was: 1) The healthy friendships I had became stronger. My true friends were happy for me. Because I no longer feared to be totally authentic, those friendships deepened. Without the fear I also found myself becoming a lot more compassionate. 2) The unhealthy friendships ended. 3) I was finally truly happy.

[@yasminamelia6994]

I love the fluffy stuff & really enjoyed this video ☺️👏. Quotes I wish I’d heard sooner: 1) happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like. 2) I hope nothing haunts you for too long and I hope you are kind to yourself. 3) just because someone carries it well doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy.

[@charlottem2422]

i loved this! and would love a part 2 if you ever felt like doing that! i also want to say thank you for being empathetic when talking about loneliness, and where (sometimes) those behaviours, like oversharing, are coming from. 💜 ones i like - “you own everything that happens to you… if people wanted you to write warmly about them they should have behaved better” - ann lamott “don’t try and explain yourself to idiots. you’re not the fuckface whisperer” -?? “stop trying to be liked by everybody. you don’t even like everybody.” -?? “be patient with yourself. nothing in nature blooms all year” (not sure if accurate but i like it) “you can’t make someone love you by giving them more of what they already don’t appreciate” -??

[@summermoth571]

turning 24 in a week and frickin adore this series so much. so many lovely and useful things to return to whether i need comfort or a reminder. but despite following along, this is the first video my American brain realised it's the 20s "tool kit" and not the 20s "talk it." still learning i guess 😅

[@kxxj_]

so glad u said this bc sameeeeee

[@kashishkukreja5904]

Leena please more of these and more often. Its amazing how there is someone who lives miles away from me but still can make me feel little less anxious and okay with her videos❤️

[@carolinastarlingmanne3788]

Oh, Leena, if only your new videos would last the whole week... I live in a leenaless desert, and then for glorious 20/40 minutes each week I get to be in your company/wisdom. What a treat your are!

[@lauragibbons1951]

This is exactly how I feel! Whenever I feel frustrated or upset with life in general I always feel immense comfort in Leena's videos. She does make things feel a lot better with her wisdom. Whether the weeks video is a serious deep dive into something philosophical or a lighthearted funny video about cleaning out her wardrobe it just instantly makes me feel better 🙂

[@juliahaveland7936]

"But at what cost???"😂😂

[@marianne4902]

That gray background looks so good with your outfit!! Love the aesthetic!!

[@rebeccamichaels6953]

"Are you free on Tuesday?" questions are my nightmare - they make me instantly anxious. I used to think that the stress they caused me was my fault, and only recently realized that I do actually have the right to know what a plan is before I agree to it. XD This is definitely something I wish my younger self realized sooner.

[@beatm6948]

What's carried me is "If you're not embarrassed by what you did a year ago, you're not growing".(Either Katya or Trixie. Can't remember.) It's not a perfect quote, but it's comforting, and I like the idea behind it.

[@interparties]

I thought I was the one who finds these posts really valuable for life 🤣 thanks for validation

[@borkbork4124]

11:00 Yes, the cheesy “actions speak louder than words” rings true for me every day! AlND, if someone’s actions and words contradict each other, you may want to pack up and say goodbye. I had a close friend all 4 years of high school, and she was like that. She would always want to “talk,” but everything she would say was the opposite of what she would actually do. When I would confront her about this she would yell at me…..hmmm that betrayl photo is starting to make sense too!

[@maddietownsend7696]

omg I just snapped at a longtime friend turned roommate and this is readying me for sleep, and giving me a space to think about what just happened and where we're going from here. Thank you Leena.

[@360shadowmoon]

Regarding the first point, I've also come to the realization that life is more like an ongoing spiral rather than a straight line, if that makes sense. Like you're still progressing, but like you said, each spiral represents a recurring theme in your life, because you're still the same person in the end of the day and you go through the same things. You may become more experienced at dealing with the themes (spirals) as time goes on, but it makes sense that your past experiences will continue to impact you in some way.

[@katarinajovanovic3528]

"Everything finds its place". When ever there is something incomprehensible in my life, this quote soothes me.

[@erinnorris]

this is pretty recent, but i just saw an interview with Natasha Lyonne where she says that she's "increasingly less apologetic about being an intellectual" and for some reason that has stuck with me more than any "be yourself" message ever has before

[@toralundin5869]

I loved everything that you said in the "friendship" part at 10.00. Your words made me feel warm inside and that sign also gives me hope.

[@cass465]

Damn the list about loneliness really made feel crappy because a lot of them apply to me. And hearing Leena talk about feeling like others are being too imposing makes me a tad paranoid that I’ve done that to people. I honestly never know if I’m giving too much or too little, because I get invested in friendships but then I pull back and try to distance myself because I don’t want them to get sick of me and I feel like a bother. Ughhhh can someone install some functional social skills in me please? I think mine was faulty from the get go.

[@heyhaileyjoy]

Hey, I just wanted to encourage you, as someone who has felt the things you described in your comment, that there is so much hope and that you are not "too much" or "too little," you are just enough. Loneliness is so hard to navigate, I've had times where I was so starved for friends that I was blurting out really personal stuff to people I'd met only hours before because I wanted connection so badly. When I look back I feel a little embarrassed, but more than that I just feel sympathy for my past self, her desire for connection was a beautiful thing that eventually led me to strong, lasting friendships, it wasn't her fault she didn't always know how to handle her loneliness. Please be kind to yourself as you navigate this, it's such a hard thing, but don't stop trying, you deserve love and connection. Best of luck finding your people, I do believe they're out there!

[@Cod3zP]

"but at what cost?" Is my catch phrase

[@naecocificap4588]

'Nothing silhouettes till the lights come on' sometimes you have to walk through a dark patch in order to turn on the lights and get perspective on the situation. Don't let your good experiences be overshadowed by the dark ones. 'You can't heal someone who doesn't want to be healed' Often we spend our time trying to help people, which costs a lot of emotional investment, and they do not want to be helped. It's important to know when to let go for your own sake. I also want to add a last note for my people in academia. You are a person beyond your grades, professor's approval or what degree you are in. Try to untangle that person from your value as an academic.💜

[@gabriellevendette5491]

I'm always hopeful about the future when I hear you talk about things you wish you had learned in your twenties that I feel as though I have a decent grasp on now at the age of 25, like the availability vs free time. It makes me feel like, yes, I have so much to learn, but I've also already learned so much to make me feel in control of my life.

[@kate.cousteils]

"In this economy?" is a personal favourite.

[@hannahproctor7161]

I also like to use 'pun intended' when there's been no whisper of a pun at all 😂

[@ameliaryczek8433]

I've been waiting for this moment. "I learned a long time ago the wisest thing I can do is be on my own side" - Maya Angelou “This life is mine alone. So I have stopped asking people for directions to places they’ve never been.” - Glennon Doyle "Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't." - Bill Nye There is nothing in nature that blooms all year long, why do you expect yourself to?

[@kaloes3687]

there's this jokey post i found on tumblr at some point that really boinked me in the head: my brain, stomping it’s feet: i wanna use one inconsequential negative experience to spiral into an echo-chamber of self hatred!!! me, stirring my tea with my little plastic knife: no, we don’t do that anymore and i tell myself 'we don't do that anymore' ALL the time now for bad brain stuff and it fucking works!!!

[@adairs7498]

Your videos often sing me to sleep. In fact I am currently in bed and on the edge of drifting off any second ✨ You are the perfect antidote for the before bed scaries and for mid morning apathy ❤ Thank you Leena. Night night x

[@ampersignia]

This for me was from a Lana Del Rey song: “So I moved to California but it's just a state of mind. It turns out everywhere you go, you take yourself, that's not a lie” Meaning, you can’t just expect an environment change like moving elsewhere to fix your problems, you can still have attributes and habits that create problems for yourself regardless of where you are. So I think twice about moving and don’t always recommend ‘fresh start’ situations for people anymore.

[@immeremma]

I have such a hard time saying no when I'm technically free. I'm just never sure what to say!

[@rebeccamichaels6953]

Same!! Questions like "are you free on Tuesday" used to cause me so much anxiety. But then I suddenly realized, I could just immediately ask what the plans were? Now when someone asks me with "Are you free on X day?" I just immediately respond with "What are you planning?" (sometimes with a smiley emoji). It doesn't immediately accept or decline the offer, so depending on their answer you can either say, "that sounds so fun, I'd love to" or "that sounds so fun, I can't make it but I hope you enjoy!"

[@elizabethhorn1102]

“What are you up to? I can see if I can fit it in.” Or my personal fave, “That sounds great. I will just check my calendar when I’m home and get back to you.”

[@9thgalaxy778]

One of the things I love about your channel Leena is the balance of the light stuff and the heavy stuff. In the serious videos, you'll do it in a way that's still accessible and not overly depressing, and in the "silly" videos, there's always the context of the heavy stuff (e.g. fun dress up video is also about sustainability)

[@RikemagCola]

Reading through some of the comments I remembered the one that keeps coming back to me: "If you're going through Hell, keep going." (Winston Churchill) it's such a simple phrase, but so powerful. If times are hard you don't need to be the best or even good, you just need to push through. And you will make it.

[@jumpysummer2667]

said a lot, but someone I really respect told me "it's okay to not be okay" and that's something I try to remember as someone who holds positivity as a important personality trait

[@anitachaplin5049]

'life happens in rings rather than chapters' - i totally see that! i feel like my life is always trying to teach me the same thing - stop taking on too much! it's my life challenge and my current big ring and i hope i can move on to the next ring at some point soon

[@mollyjosie5835]

I subscribed because of one of your twenties videos I am delighted to know it’s a series! I’m 21 and I feel like there is already so much I wish I would have known even in my teens

[@Gandellion]

There’s soooo much awful stuff going on all the time, sometimes (a lot of times) you just need a break. Humans can’t live with things being hard and scary all the time, we need soft and silly! I personally need it a whole lot.

[@laureb7697]

Omg ! I've sometimes actually asked for verbal confirmation, and a couple of times I was actually given the closure I needed. Somtimes when you confront the other person with their behaviour, their willing to admit their true perspective. But yeah it's not easy, especially when it's an answer you don't want to hear but you can feel coming.

[@aricamccarthy1421]

This isn’t necessarily a quote, but focusing on the closeness a relationship brings as opposed to just the relationship itself, whether platonic or romantic. In that, you don’t need to communicate w someone everyday, for example, as long as there is an established closeness existing between the pair

[@LadetteM]

The pink A Board one is going to become a little affirmation for myself, I can feel it.

[@lina5699]

This was so healing. Thank you.

[@lilidonna]

Mine has been learning how to ask people what they meant or intended before I make my mind up based on my interpretation of their behaviour. So it's a bit the opposite of yours Leena! I live in perpetual fear that other people will hurt me so I've historically beat them to the chase and hurt myself first by deciding that they meant me harm. I'm learning to use my words in my 30s. Wow.

[@sarahzaidi177]

I had a few of these posts saved on IG too - was literally looking through them yesterday!

[@abacaxipineapple9147]

You know it’s a great creator when you immediately like a video before you watch it 😂

[@pisto30]

"Ways of acknowledging someone's bad behavior without saying "it's okay". I'm still trying to learn this one

[@bloublabligloblu]

I've been getting tired of "instagram wisdom", mostly because now i see a lot of meaningles cheeziness, so this video was a nice sum up of actually useful stuff that I'd like to come back to evry once in a while.

[@elizabethhorn1102]

One of my favourite is Instagram wisdoms is just that cow (on a field? on a cliff?) that say “I am cringe but I am free”

[@koibuesi]

Me: I feel lonely. 7 signs: Nah mate, it‘s DEEP loneliness. Me: 🫠 cool

[@aniekantant6037]

“There is no use in meeting trouble halfway” I read this in Anne of green gables and for me who is a massive overthinker this is something I think about often

[@leenanorms]

Haha omg I still haven't read Anne of GG but when ever anybody quotes it it sounds so totally UP MY STREET!

[@aniekantant6037]

@@leenanorms Hahah, for me it reads like a warm blanket. But I've only ever listened to the Librivox recording, which is free and voiced by a volunteer (I love the version voiced by Karen Savage) and I come back to it every year (sometimes even more than once). I would really recommend the audiobook!

[@oliviajeanette1065]

I needed this video today♡ thank you for letting me feel seen in this weird emotional space that is late twenty-something-hood.