Two Solutions to Anxiety

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#Anxiety #MentalHealth

[@HealthyGamerGG]

Hey guys. Healthy Gamer Coaching Launches Today! Sign up with a coach and overcome personal barriers to success and happiness. It's been over in the making. More info and signup here: bit.ly/3eB8CsL

[@scr33np33k3r]

please tell me what do i do if i live in a family that causes anxiety . money is not an abundant source. this video brought me to tears. so does everything but ya

[@nic.g21]

@@scr33np33k3r if other people are the cause of your anxiety, chances are, they're projecting their own anxiety and insecurities onto you. Maybe you should watch this video with them.

[@mohammedpatel9698]

Probably a dumb question, but how important is it that I am a gamer in order to make use of coaching? I’m new to these videos, and despite being a non-gamer I have found them quite insightful. A huge positive for me is that the coaching options, especially group coaching, are cheaper than the not-so-great psychotherapy I’ve received in the past, and if the coaches are anything like Dr K, I am optimistic that it could really help me. I see that in order to become a coach, a requisite is an interest in gaming, I was wondering if that meant the coaching itself is also heavily video-game orientated, if so i am unsure if this is for me. Thank you to whoever might take the time to address this :)

[@nic.g21]

@@mohammedpatel9698 I'm not sure if it's "required", but I'm sure there will be plenty of gaming analogies and whatnot. Maybe personal one on one coaching would be a better option for you? Either way, one session isn't very expensive, so I'm sure you could try it out and see for yourself. But yes, Dr. K's community is very gaming oriented.

[@stenharl1]

Please do a collaboration with Jordan Peterson!

[@neubiineubii2931]

"The smarter you are, the more crippling your anxiety can be" - I must be einstein then

[@Ok-wj2mt]

We'd be smarter than einstein lmao

[@inory5460]

We would be 400IQ rocket scientists.

[@vivvy_0]

a little bit of validation xD

[@piyushpandey5978]

Read about Einstein, he had a lot of problems.

[@jonasjasikevicius8780]

😁

[@Naccarat]

So: - Jump into the activity / be present / focus on the present. Fear of the act is generally far worse than the actual act itself - Face insecurities to gain experience and build confidence, otherwise, you never get good and get even more anxious Thank you very much.

[@trellified]

Nice recap :)

[@SunniDae333]

Thanks mate

[@user-re5rk4uu4t]

Ty

[@sarang8207]

Tenks

[@blowerofcucks8130]

All I can think of is the It is what it is meme

[@Kitarp06]

“The past makes you wanna die out of regret and the future makes you depressed out of anxiety. So by elimination, the present is likely the happiest time." - Hachiman Hikigaya.

[@DaRoachDoggJrr]

Never heard that one, that’s good

[@Nekro715]

Never thought I'd see an Oregairu quote in a Dr. K video

[@ejej_shej7958]

8man tho

[@TheHardestCombatter]

Love that!

[@llewodcm20]

For real. The past for me is all my shameful memories bundled up into a random recall. My brain doesn't want to remember good things

[@InfernoOmni]

Excited to listen to this. Anxiety been off the roof recently.

[@ejej_shej7958]

Hey it's megamind!

[@gooberreboog1755]

Its cool to see you watch this

[@themanhimself436]

TriDance

[@Smashologist]

Oh shit Omni you fuck with Dr.K too? Nice!

[@DareToShine]

Same man. Gotta say this was on point.

[@rasmusbrege7433]

I honestly believe this should be part of the standard education, there's so many things we don't learn about how we work as humans

[@branchy1186]

because its not relevant at all to the average human

[@a1r592]

@@branchy1186 anxiety's a human emotion how isn't it?

[@Niaxe111]

Because school is just there to condition us to work and how to shut the hell up

[@Yes-xn8du]

@@branchy1186 the average human literally has been experiencing stuff like anxiety since existence. It’s primal

[@Purplesquigglystripe]

A lot of these things are hidden as lessons in fiction.

[@hologrms]

I gotten so good at avoiding everything that makes me anxious that the pandemic barely made an affect on my life

[@Hyouseff]

damn so true

[@7kx_z506]

TRUEE

[@georgewithey1689]

bro this hit deep

[@thegodofmemes3351]

gratz you then!

[@mattwagnone3498]

Same. I only leave my house to go to work

[@Shak100]

anxiety and procrastination are cousins

[@manishprasad1298]

This comment is so damn true

[@newcoolvid27]

Hey what a coincidence, I'm procrastinating right now Wait I'm procrastinating all the time help

[@lilbuilderman2011]

Generally I procrastinate while being held hostage by anxiety.

[@randomisedrandomness]

Dr K. made a video about procrastination, and indeed one of the 3 types is procrastination where you are anxious about a situation, so you put off dealing with it as much as possible, because focusing on the present by ignoring the situation is easier than confronting it.

[@bw8696]

Lol that profile pic. Why am I not surprised to see Satou in the comment section?

[@MrGreendayzed]

My anxiety predicts EVERY possible thing that can go wrong and when something does go wrong my anxiety goes "see, told you something bad would happen"

[@forformgamer]

But whenever something goes right, it never shows up to say: "Sorry G, I fucked up there... My bad!"

[@MrGreendayzed]

@@forformgamer no that's when the worst stuff happens because something good did.

[@sharp7j]

Thats anxiety is evil and hard to get rid of.

[@franacha]

@@forformgamer Whenever something goes right, it is life preparing to crush you even more, it's just life giving you some extra bit of hope so whatever bad thing will happen next will hurt extra

[@brennam954]

@@franacha lol this sounds so sarcastic when you put it like that, and yet anxiety really do be like that. On a subconscious level, I always do feel that when something goes unexpectedly well, that it was a one-off and not memorable because I have too much evidence/memory of "bad stuff" happening that I expect mostly bad stuff to come next. Becomes self-perpetuating and makes you unable to appreciate the good stuff, or even the normal everyday nonchaotic stuff.

[@wanderingrandomer]

God, if I could go back and change my approach to life when I was a teenager, I would. I was the sort of person who shut myself off from the world because it was too stressful to deal with; a self-proclaimed 'loner'. Now, I'm 28 and any big life decision sends me spiralling out. Gotta undo like 15 years of negative thinking.

[@GameHeadLanGuild]

I'm in the same boat, it's one step at a time. Keeping a daily journal to track the little wins helped me a lot :)

[@dostoyevskysdaughter3115]

Are you me :(?

[@brennam954]

Same - I'm 29 and feel the same way and had a similar adolescence.

[@AlissonWololo]

Feel so hard change the way of thinking while thinking in a negative way (cultivated for years), its like a dog chasing his own tail. I hope one day i will catch it

[@AtomizedMass]

"undo 15 years of negative thinking" - I personally cannot "undo" it, but I stopped repeating the cylce. My attitude changed, and my perception of the past as well, and I feel like I'm starting to consciouly live my life. It's doable, never give up

[@oliverbeck6839]

One thing I noticed is that if you have self esteem issues, "facing your fears" won't work very well and might make things worse, speaking from personal experience I used to have (still do but its a bit better now) social anxiety and low self-esteem, which meant I avoided a lot of situations and in the rare instance where I couldn't or actually faced my fears and it didn't go very well, I beat myself up for it because of my low self esteem, which made things even worse for the future. So I think before being able to fix anxiety and face your fears to build confidence in unkown situations, you need to learn how to be nice to yourself and tell yourself that your doing the best you can in order to stop beating yourself up. Please comment and let me know what you think Im still learning a lot myself on how to deal with this.

[@Kyrmana]

Yes, one way to combat anxiety is by regaining your trust in yourself.

[@ruhmankhalid6675]

yea man, I trip over my own foot time and times again, and I started being ungrateful, cynical and felt as if I was the unluckiest of all.

[@christosioannou2781]

That's true and false in my experience. You would need an initial base of learning about yourself and coping with your feelings and emotions but I feel you can never become a master at that without some real life experiences. Real life experiences would put you in nasty situations where the coping mechanisms and self acceptance you've been learning gains a sense of meaning, and therefore is more strongly imprinted in your personality and transitions from a technique you saw online to a habit. Conversely the more you practice self acceptance and coping strategies the more you fuel your willingness to try out things and pursue your desires in spite of inhibitions. So I don't think it's one first then the other, I would start with a good foundation on self acceptance and coping, and start mixing in some action at your own pace. Best of luck

[@andrewjastrom1885]

As someone that experinces this in a very similar way, it all makes sense now.

[@КириллЛинкер-о5ф]

I can't stress enough how right you are. This is exactly what worked for me

[@dend1]

Anxiety goes away when I distract myself. Problem is the most distracting things are often the least productive.

[@marioluigi414]

I would love to learn more about how to build confidence.

[@Xygif]

Fake it 'till you make it

[@4xzx4]

@@Xygif Lol no. Building confidence is about overcoming hardships instead of avoiding them, like Dr. K told in the video. =^)

[@arezpirveceani]

Pretty much overcoming fear of something and having courage to do what you fear. To face uncertainty. Confidence isn't about being successful, it's failing and knowing you're okay. These points are from Dr.K's interview with QTcinderella which was about building confidence, so check that out if you want.

[@Self-kn4ez]

@@arezpirveceani yea, confidence is a skill.

[@arezpirveceani]

@@Self-kn4ez 100%. Takes a lot of time to build and there are absolutely gonna be setbacks. But as cliche as it sounds, don't give up.

[@TheDhammaHub]

In the end, a lot of those things boil down to "a fear of the unknown" with varying degrees of intensity

[@jonasjasikevicius8780]

Or you know what will happend, so you afraid

[@hungrymusicwolf]

Or inversely a lack of confidence in your ability of dealing with the consequence of the unknown danger.

[@EggEnjoyer]

@@jonasjasikevicius8780 *Think you know. Most of our anxiety is unfounded “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened” -Mark Twain

[@MarieAvora]

@@jonasjasikevicius8780 you know what might happen and you're not confident in your ability to deal with those circumstances - that's what the insecurity part is about!

[@jonasjasikevicius8780]

@@MarieAvora tai apie tai ir šneku

[@tonyyu245]

i just realized that all this time i've been making my anxiety worse, this video really helped, thank you.

[@joeswanson5520]

Make sure to change your habits because you are your habits

[@alantorres8956]

Anxiety can literally come from nothing which is the situation for me. I can get out of bed and instantly feel it. It comes and goes for me.

[@HjbProductions]

Same here, except its a near constant for me.

[@RythmicWuna]

I understand and struggle with it daily. But for me, its intensity depends whether i slept and woke up in time, been productive or not. Sometimes i am sure that the reason is because the fact that i oversleep is me being lazy and therefore it will impact my future.

[@Iudicatio]

It happens to me too. When Dr. K said study first thing in the morning when your mind is clear I thought "but what if your mind isn't clear first thing in the morning"

[@alantorres8956]

@@RythmicWuna : I also suffer from this as well man. Anxiety of also getting a good nights worth of sleep can lead to insomnia which means less energy. When I am not productive, it makes me feel like shit and worry.

[@RythmicWuna]

@@alantorres8956 Yeah it really heavily depends on whether your sleeping pattern is good or not sometimes

[@Njox]

It's so weird seeing him do an intro now.

[@SCaRaB6288]

when i think about anxiety, I imagine being Dr Strange simulating all the possibilities. Except we don't have the cognitive capacity to process all the outcomes, and the emotions just take over

[@a1r592]

I wish we had a course in school where we learnt about emotions, their workings and how to deal with them. Understanding them is a huge step forward.

[@raghavadoregowda2191]

I don't have any hope for this to happen in our society even though it's so important

[@NomadUrpagi]

Very true. What dr K said and self-guilt go hand in hand. I often cant forgive myself for being afraid of something that i wasnt able to overpower, so i beat myself up whenever i fail again for "not standing up for myself", when in reality most of the people have chickened out in their lives at some point but they accept that part in themselves that it is okay to be afraid sometimes and you don't become unworthy of love and respect just because you were afraid of someone at some point. There. I said it. Now i feel better after 20 years of feeling insecure about me not deserving love and respect because i couldnt beat up my bullies. I tried to overcompensate it so much when i was a student by being hostile to others to appear tough so i dont get bullied again, which caused me to get bullied sometimes, ironically being the self-fulfilling prophecy. I feel so much better now. I dont have to appear to be tough or never fearing or super smart to be worthy of love, respect and admiration. I let it out here because it is easy for me. Thanks for reading, stranger. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself, as corny as it sounds. I am teary right now. ❤. It only kind of saddens me now that it took me 33 years of living to come to this comment and realisation. I could do so much more if i forgave myself much earlier. But eh, not going to beat myself for that as well now 🤷‍♂️. I am worthy of love and respect, and so are you. Happiness begins from self love

[@Ryok-ami]

It's hard to calm down the anxiety when all you can hear in your work is: "that isn't enough", "you're not enough"

[@Anteaterman23]

This goes back to the idea of insecurities. It might be beneficial for you to reach out and sign up for therapy (maybe even the HealthyGamer program) to try and work on your own confidence and sense of self-value. I can guarantee you that you are enough; it's just about trying to convince your brain to realize that too.

[@kindasomeviews]

when you hear folks like that, a way to go about it is saying "just because you say it doesnt mean it's true" or "easy to say, not as easy to prove" and i'd recommend the program too

[@harrythompson9315]

As a newly-promoted chef I just had to fire my first person today. God damn my anxiety was off the charts

[@yaboyradish3072]

There's a first for everything, you'll get used to it eventually. I hope you're not feeling any guilt for it, u mostlikely had a good reason for firing the person.

[@inferno7289]

Good job on becoming a chef, dude!

[@Antagonist115]

He is 100% right, I just got a job, and it’s not difficult but it’s very complicated And Everytime before I go to work, like 5 hours before, that whole time I’m SHAKING from anxiety, I’m so anxious I can’t sleep I can’t do shit, then I get to work, and I’m completely calm the entire 12 hour shift, it’s insane, it’s like once you get to that anxious point, your Brain thinks, “oh, shit naw we good” but then the next day again I’m extremely anxious and feel like I forgot everything and I’m gonna get fired The cold pool example is PERFECT, I freak the hell out and refuse to get into a cold pool, but then once I jump in, I’m good

[@ronaldinhodoroblox2323]

When i played league of legends, i always played the normal game mode because, the ranked game mode gave me anxiety and i didn't want to lose my elo (even though it was silver), then i started overpreparing myself only playing normal modes till i thought i was good enough to play ranked lmao

[@kurtskrt]

This actually really explains why I feel some anxiety from trying to learn piano. I started playing it a week ago. One thing I feel anxiety about is the possibility of failing. I'm afraid of failure, or not being able to play as good as I want to. After watching this interview though, I think I learned something else that gives me anxiety about learning to play piano. The brain is automatically wired to make you think of any possible outcomes that could involve you making a mistake or feeling bad so you can avoid it. That explains why I'm afraid to learn piano because it's something new and my brain doesn't recognize it subconsciously as something I can perform well at yet so my brain tries to get me to avoid it. I've been trying to look at learning to play piano from a 3rd person perspective and see how it could benefit me to learn it in the future instead of just looking at possible fail futures, and how much more confidence I will gain from learning to play my first instrument efficiently. I've honestly been benefiting a lot from watching these interviews and short talks and have been applying the lessons to my mindset towards myself and life in general. I appreciate the positive information and motivation!

[@Chizuru94]

I have the same thing with guitar (and everything else I'm interested in), so I dream of being good with it, but never give myself the chance to do anything, even though that's a guaranteed failure D: It's super awful. But I also have a whole lot more on my plate in life (as everyone has, I know ;) ), so that doesn't help as well. Either way, I wish you a lot of success with the piano stuff and am confident you can get better. Persistence is the key. Since doing nothing will only result in not getting anywhere (Weird how I can give others advice like this, but never ever apply it to me D:)

[@FlowerAcid]

This is why I'm always on my phone. I have to watch stuff to distract myself...

[@Shubham-vr5ye]

Same but now I realize that its wrong way to deal with it.. Anxiety will not leave us until we overcome our insecurities and focus on present events..By distracting ourself we can only delay this feeling but never get rid of it

[@nottoday3561]

@@Shubham-vr5ye can't get rid of it anyways

[@TrueMG]

"You don't get anxious in a competitive videogame". Oh Dr. K, I absolutely am. Nervous, anxious, hands shiver. If there's a player ship on the horizon in Sea of Thieves then panic breaks out. But this actually proves your point. I can't play PvP games for this reason, unless I developed a confidence in my skills. But since I avoid these games, I rarely develop the confidence. So exactly what you said. I almost never understand these comparisons with real life and videogames, but I think they were just poorly explained. But your explanation kinda speaks to me, I have to think about that.

[@Sanctor95]

Watching these videos as a person who does not suffer from anxiety, it makes me realise that I have experienced plenty of anxiety in the past (predominantly in my teenage years), and that I experienced it less and less as I gained confidence, and that I gained confidence by facing uncertain situations and seeing them through, just like Dr. K said. I just wonder how possible it is to gain confidence once you're over a certain age, I have friends who still suffer from anxiety and I feel like it's harder to gain confidence the longer you live with insecurities.

[@justpiddlinalong621]

I feel like the longer you live with something the more it’s cemented in your head “I can’t change, I am the way I am” anyone is able to change no matter what age. You just need to actually do it and believe that you will actually eventually come out the other side

[@Bastianat]

Even though I really enjoyed the mental health bootcamp series, I absolutely understand the need for this mini lecture series As always thank you for doing so much for our community dr k

[@RoCoKo]

- Jump into the activity / be present / focus on the present. Fear of the act is generally far worse than the actual act itself - Face insecurities to gain experience and build confidence, otherwise, you never get good and get even more anxious

[@kerrymint]

that's so comforting when hearing you say "generally speaking, the smarter you are, the worse your anxiety is"

[@qwerty-ns8wy]

Him:"The smarter you're, the worse your anxiety is" Me: I see this as an absolute win!!

[@MrPointIess]

What about anxiety without an apparent trigger? I have a generalised anxiety disorder and i usually get anxious for no apparent reason. When this happens, i get scared of the anxiety getting worse and turning into a panic attack, but the initial anxiety always comes out of nowhere.

[@kitcat2449]

Not a doctor but when I have those types of anxiety attacks I just try to distract myself the best I can. I pet my cat, I talk to someone, I look at memes, I draw, play a game, listen to music, eat something good etc. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I later noticed that even places and smells can be triggers, probably something subconscious

[@ninjanerdstudent6937]

I now know two reasons for declining medical physicians in Europe. They have less anxiety about life because anxiety drives their behavior to study harder, and they have less motivation to pursue medical school because European physicians earn less in socialistic nations.

[@nuke291]

Dr.K I love you so much, you are literally a father for me.

[@Iudicatio]

This is something I have struggled with for years so please keep going with this one until the end I would really appreciate it!

[@woof1132]

You are amazing, I have to watch these a couple times to really make myself start practicing, but they really help.

[@FaizanMunirKhanRajput]

I just cracked a joke and when I was met by silence, I immediately apologised even though the joke wasn't probably offensive.

[@JustGrayson]

"never try never fail" I think I deal with anxiety by completely shutting down and staying in bed.

[@Jigglzpuff]

yea this is a hard one. facing anxiety, especially in work-related scenarios is a big challenge for me. I think I'm overly kind when asking for something from someone else. Even if they agree to do something for me, I usually ask again if they are okay with it at some point. I guess I can try to take that first approval and roll with it. It will be uncomfortable, but it might help me develop some more confidence.

[@conor7187]

I was just watching another video of yours. Thanks for helping us, it means a lot to so many of us 💓

[@vandibox]

I've always had anxiety but when COVID hit during my first year of law at college I have been a mess. Been doing ok recently, to see this in my feed was such a relief. Thanks for the help Dr. K.

[@jujuwen6]

COVID hit during my second year of law and I understand how hard it is with insecurities of balancing your academics and job apprehension in the legal sector :/

[@EpicPrawn]

You two are studying law, which is a noble and awesome thing to get into as an academic path. As a stranger who merely browses the lawyer side of KZbin as a hobby, I want to applaud both of you for sticking to it.

[@chickenenjoyer]

anxiety is worse with higher iq - just kinda feels like a scapegoat, everyone thinks they are smart

[@ashleyez2022]

True, everyone thinks they are smarter than the average person, its human nature. I guess thats why people are also so attatched to their opinions, even if they are wrong

[@manuel8617]

@@ashleyez2022 If everyone think they are smarter than the average person then half of them are right

[@ashleyez2022]

@@manuel8617 well a bit less than half, but thats an interesting take

[@al8-.W]

When I was a teenager, I wrote something along these lines in my journal: "Intelligence hurts. Sufferings prompts thoughts." (What I didn't write down, but was meant implicitely: thinking makes one smarter, thus closing the positive feedback loop of my misery)

[@al8-.W]

As I watch the rest of the video I'm having new ideas to share here. The best coping strategy I ever found for myself for dealing with anxiety is similar to your suggestion of living in the present. Actually, if I get a chance to isolate myself, or even better, if I'm at home, I'll just imagine that nothing in the workd exists beyond the borders of the room I'm currently in. I really make an effort to create a coherent world out of what lies around me. For this to work, I need to assume that needs such as eating, drinking, etc... no longer exist because otherwise it would imply that there needs to exist something in the room to sustain those needs. This exercice is very radical at killing every single worrying thoughts that I might have and I sometimes find myself using it while lying in bed when I can't sleep. I can go as far as imagining that nothing beyond the bed exists, which in the end is probably a classic meditation technique, just introduced in a different way.

[@euthyphro8064]

I think proactively looking for ways to improve your well-being would be a good thing to do. I think you have already been doing this to some degree if you are meditating and watching videos on managing anxiety.

[@arfirik]

After watching this video i felt really cool realizing that my thoughts on anxiety that i have been developing since i started getting it match with what a professional would say about it, made me feel reassured, thanks dr. k.

[@souti7436]

There have been a lot of farm murders in South Africa. I have anxiety that people are going to come into my home and hurt my family. How do I apply these tips to that? I can't expose myself to violence without being in danger and neither could I willingly give up control in that situation. But I can't sleep. What do I do?

[@JonSuperKnife]

Time to time, I come here to listen to your anxiety episodes, they’ve been a major help and calm me immensely, though I had a quick comment, I know even exercise can be so beneficial to relieving stress and reduce anxiety and games (while they can be bad) help focus to the task at hand. I’ve been finding that playing Beat Saber being a mixture of virtual reality immersing and exercise has been super helpful. though all in all thank you for your video helps me understand anxiety and just hearing over and over that anxiety cannot exist if you are in the present is so reassuring.

[@tatyanawilliams3715]

My anxiety makes me avoid studying rather than overstudying

[@DaPoofDaPoofDaPoofDa]

What an incredible video , especially the second half. Overcoming struggle = building self-esteem, therefore buildng confidence n facing anxiety

[@collin3799]

What about undirected anxiety? What if I feel anxious without thinking of anything all the time?

[@zeroxcrusher]

what if you don't know why are you extremely anxious?

[@brennam954]

I am not a mental health professional, but a therapist will definitely be able to help you identify that. In the meantime, try to write down all the feelings you're currently feeling, and when you look over each feeling/emotion, try to describe what you're picturing or what enters your mind. That will help paint a picture of what you're specifically anxious about. If you are getting anxious over almost anything, then you most likely have generalized anxiety, in which case it really is important to seek some professional therapy because it really can be hard to treat without professional help. It takes a serious commitment to understand/stop avoidance patterns, confront fears, be vulnerable with yourself, and develop confidence/trust in yourself at a deeper level. But what Dr. K mentions in the video is really important. It's just that it's hard work. In some cases, some people may also benefit (in addition to psychotherapy) from medication. As someone who suffers from anxiety/depression and has been in therapy for over two years, I can say that it has been a tremendous help to me, but the longer I've been in it, the more I have realized how much person work I have left to do. The path to healing doesn't just happen in an office (or over Zoom) - and I don't mean that patronizingly as that's a message to myself. Good luck!

[@zeroxcrusher]

@@brennam954 hey, thank you.

[@aditjain-s1s]

idk but solutioins to anxiety sounds like thats what shri krishna said -kee karm karo fal ek chinta mat karno ----dude how they figure out this in ancient time

[@bsn_cs]

Schrödingers anxiety : high anxienty = high intelligence = confidence because of intelligence = lower anxiety because of confidence = lower intelligence because of lower anxiety = lower confidence because of lower intelligence = higher anxiety because of lower confidence ...

[@Shadow77999]

Damn son

[@tiddlypom2097]

It's an Escher drawing

[@k4wt085]

LMAO, i just stopped going to school entirely for years ;'D

[@gnatdagnat]

can't fuck up if you don't even try B)

[@restinginn9906]

The overcompensation and avoidance part resonated with me. I don't realize sometimes when I'm apologizing for no reason and sometimes I avoid difficult things. The ironic part is doing the difficult thing or refusing the urge to apologize is the best solution for building the confidence necessary to overcome anxiety. I also think a lot of us with anxiety don't realize it's a maladaptive coping mechanism and we tell ourselves "My anxiety got me to where I am today" it's almost like a drug because you know it's bad for you yet it grants you some success/happiness in life when you reach your goals.

[@ninjanerdstudent6937]

What I have always had was approach anxiety, which I have mistaken for social anxiety in the past. I have worked on overcoming my approach anxiety for about 10 years, and a lot of my motivation stemmed from the pick up chick videos right here on KZbin. After a certain point, I made it a game in my mind by flipping the script allowing my goal to actually be getting rejected. For instance, if I get rejected, I win the bet in my mind, and if I get their number, I win by adding a new potential new date contact to my phone. I have converted anxiety into a competitive game for myself in which I get a 'high' every time I flirt with a chick.

[@Vladimyrful]

So being present and overcoming the challenge in question WHILE feeling anxiety (it's part of the challenge, thus will build confidence). Makes a heck of a lot of sense honestly - and I'm saying this as someone with very high anxiety.

[@777Mizpah]

Thank You, This Video Is A Straight Blessing From God. You Have Helped Me Realize That I Have Hope And That I Have To Focus On Concurring My Present Fears And Problems. Instead Of Trying To Push Them Away ❤

[@momenakod6399]

I've been unemployed for two of the four years since graduation. When I work, or face the unknown in general, I struggle with a lot of anxiety and fear of failure. When I hide in my room, I struggle with the anxiety of people's judgement, so when I withdraw from interactions I drown in crippling depression. Pain seems to be inevitable for me, but I still prefer to hide for some reason.

[@XunMoon]

This man has changed my life more than anything else. The way he explains things with much detail and how easy it is to understand... Just wow. Thank you Dr. K for what you do. You saved my life from falling down the deep hole of anxiety and I truly don't wish that upon anyone. It ruins lives. We need more of his videos to be spread for the sake of humanity.

[@euthyphro8064]

It is good to hear people more experienced with Dr. K's videos have had good results with them. I would say Dr. K's videos sound very logical to me. Something that had the same effect on me as you Dr. K's videos had to you was my meditation practice. Meditating really helped me become much better at managing my negative emotions. To some degree, I have found Dr. K's videos helpful, though I am still in the process of seeing the long-term results.

[@delibird3202]

Thank you so much. I absolutely needed this I thought I was losing my mind. Understanding what anxiety is is SOOOO helpful. Thank you

[@SillverBel]

A little critique: I think CONFIDENCE is bullshit. I think what Dr.K is REALLY talking about is COURAGE (doing things in spite of your insecurity). These words are often used interchangeably, but the nuance in their denotations are POWERFUL. CONFIDENCE says "I will for sure succeed." The definition is "the state of feeling certain about the truth of something." COURAGE says "I will do what I must in spite of my fears." It is defined as "strength in the face of pain or grief." My point is, you don't need to WAIT until you feel "confident" in order to act. You can act IN SPITE OF how you feel.

[@llewodcm20]

I think he relayed this point near the end. You build confidence by taking risks and succeeding. You need courage to start taking risks.

[@massimomorittu7407]

You need to learn to do things without fear, you have to trust yourself. You need to build confidence, not courage. If you only do things ignoring your emotional/mental state you don't cure anxiety. The confirm is what happens to all the people they say after achieved a "thing to do" they understand it was a lot easier then they thought, but the next time they got something to do the anxiety returns.

[@SillverBel]

@@llewodcm20 Right.

[@SillverBel]

@@massimomorittu7407 Sure, but it's a continuous practice. The more we decide to take action, the more we tear away at that anxiety. We can't always control our feelings, but we can control how we respond to them. But if it the anxiety is a disorder (like generalized anxiety disorder), then that should be treated professionally.

[@13SirLink]

Idk how you timed this so perfectly but I needed to hear this Dr.K, thank you!!!

[@Glenners]

What about when you're never conscious about what's making you anxious, you're just a bundle of nerves with nothing in particular bothering you?

[@Sackboy612]

This has helped a tremendous amount, you've made it so clear to me what anxiety really is on a basic level

[@Dan1elAndrade]

Dr K, watching your videos really make me feel so good about myself. Like A LOT. THANKS.

[@shahryarvalizadeh1532]

Thank you so much for this, Dr. K! I’ve been struggling with anxiety my entire life, especially with trust issues since middle school. This video really helped me navigate my path towards defeating that anxiety. Looking forward to your future videos!!😄

[@kitcat2449]

Any tips from anyone to a situation where you have anxiety but it's caused/enhanced by the people in your life? Let's say you're pretty good at what you do but you end up making a mistake and the people around you take it as an evidence that you're a fraud and criticise you for it, making you believe you're indeed a fraud and don't know what you're doing -> more overthinking, worse anxiety. If you can't get rid of these people (family, classmates, coworkers etc) how can you keep your sanity and self-image intact?

[@LittleHobbit13]

My struggle with "develop confidence" is that I have a lot of examples from work where I've had great confidence in an ability and a manager will seem to go out of their way to point out some way in which I failed or was not as good as I thought I was. I'm not sure I've ever even had a manager compliment me explicitly for something I felt I was good at. Over the years it's just eroded my confidence in my abilities to where I question if I'm even good at the things I thought I was good at. My anxiety is basically the Thor 3 meme now. I'll be like "but I'm good at this thing" and here comes anxiety like "are you though?" It sucks. I know everyone always says you shouldn't rely on external validation, but it's also hard to break out of that place when you're perpetually starved for a bit of recognition. End of the day we're still social creatures who need a little connection from others on occasion.

[@numanhussain6080]

Did you pass your probation? For many people this is the most validation you will get from your work place. If you passed then you are good enough, even if they identified many areas for improvement. Corporate America is very cold and will fire you if you weren't good enough

[@LittleHobbit13]

@@numanhussain6080 I would appreciate you not trying to undermine the seriousness of my negative experiences at work by suggesting it's just some form of corporate tough love. And frankly, I disagree that "they didn't fire you" should be considered validation of ones efforts and abilities.

[@euthyphro8064]

It sounds like you are saying you need some external validation and encouragement but are not getting it. I think that, in a general sense, feeling you need something that you do not have can be distressing. I am curious about whether external validation is a human need. I have tried out various things in my life, like changing the focus of my thoughts on what I want, trying meditative non-attachment, or seeing if there were different ways of thinking about it. I am not sure how successful or unsuccessful this has been. I think you are saying you are not treated fairly at your workplace. What I would think about if there are any steps you can take to improve your well-being

[@kitcat2449]

11:15 This is great when it works but rumination can be hard to beat. I sometimes try to focus on something nice yet my mind keeps talking and thinking and my focus doesn't stay on the thing that's supposed to make me distracted from my anxiety 🤧 I feel especially guilty when I'm trying to spend time with my granny for example, I enjoy her company and she makes me happy but I'm not really there with her in the moment, my thoughts keep distracting me

[@aluz5332]

Im the President of a Computer Science student org, and dr k's content helped me get our of my depression. Every week I show this videos to all my members and we watch them together because I know this is good for my students. :)

[@Goldsnip]

Hello. Sometimes you don’t really know about what you are anxious. Your examples refer to being nervous, not anxious. Often we dont know why we are anxious. The inconscient is making its magic.

[@HjbProductions]

This was helpful! I suffer from GAD, SAD, PD, Agoraphobia, and Depression so my confidence is low as im always anxious and sad. I'll try to be more confident n hopefully that'll help.

[@shanekhalifa8781]

Start on the easy stuff first

[@jscire__872]

I’m literally watching this video to cope/distract/hide from my anxiety 🤨

[@kerrymint]

Feels like I'm in a lecture hall listening to Dr.K delivering his lesson on this topic.

[@SynergySource]

Thought I didn't have anxiety because I haven't had a panic attack in half a decade, didn't realize it's the crippling overthinking too, okay cool to have a name 🤔

[@grimmlokd416]

it's astounishing how close this represents my experience. I am very thankful for the understanding you gave me and I will do my best to conquer my anxieties.Thanks Dr.K oh and hope y'all have success with yours!

[@yakataz]

But there is certainly a healthy amount of self observation that is required to develop? Like I cant live in the present and forget all the mistakes I made to continue and repeat the same mistakes. I find it really tricky balancing overthinking and finding confidence. I need to plan stuff but how much do I need to think about it, do I need to contemplate everything? I currently looking for a job and these things worry me, who wants someone who has bad hearing and anxiety stricken?

[@tonyoik1012]

I hope that the very next chapter deals with confidence, cause it is the hardest step imo. I'm so afraid that I won't find a job or that I will do poorly at my job that I do not even try to find one and stay inert.

[@kitcat2449]

Same here, it sucks :D I really like what I'm studying but I tend to be a perfectionist. It doesn’t help that the career I'm going after is male dominated so I'm worried that if I make a mistake I'm not only giving a bad example of myself but also of the minorities there. I feel like I'm responsibile for their reputation as well if that makes sense. In reality most people are probably understanding and we can always improve our skills but damn if it isn't hard to get that into our anxious brains.

[@Avatarmariz]

My problem is even when i shouldnt be thinking im still am, im thinking too much while im watcing jujutsu kaisen, when im showering, even when high or drunk, playing a game of watching something, it feels like my mind doesnt engage in anything but its own problems anymore

[@alexhangal9035]

this was honestly the most mindblowing video on mental health i’ve ever seen! i love you man

[@xxmizzevaxx]

what about GAD that's triggered by an unstable and volatile childhood/early adolescence?

[@roejogan2585]

This man read me like a book

[@Fintogy]

Anxiety is possible bad outcomes in the future, and doing something in the present to change that. Build confidence by not trying to change the future/ don't try to remove uncertainty or insecurity. Jump into the task in the present/ focus on the present (careful of copes)

[@jetjet6560]

Sometime I wish I could just plug into the matrix, so that I don't have to deal with my realistic/probable future...Life is just exhausting often, having to keep up with school, jobs, family, personal stuff, etc.

[@CandraCosplays]

I have never had someone describe who I am this perfectly before

[@DrEthre]

I would love to hear more on the topic of health anxiety. Often times its hard to compare it to social circumstances.

[@thektorMK1]

Me too.

[@tiddlypom2097]

I have both. I think the fundamental points are the same though: - focus on the present - develop confidence in your ability to handle circumstances Also I don't know if you've seen Dr K's most recent stream (2021-05-11) but it somewhat covers fear of decay (including physical)

[@marniehibotelho511]

I have had health anxiety for years and can't seem to get it under control, nor can any doctor. Every med they give me, I can't take. The med I'm on now doesn't work anymore so now what?

[@ThisIsJessPaul]

I always suspected, without any kind of official diagnosis, that I was an overly anxious person, and some of these extremely specific examples were so on the nose including being most anxious before a task begins, over-apologising to curb any hurt feelings and using cannabis to try to distract me from my worrying. I'd say that a shower or bath is probably the worst example, though, to illustrate a task that takes your mind off things because "shower thoughts" are so prevalent unless I'm doing that wrong too XD

[@mythfluent6185]

I don't know if Dr, K will see this but, I've been dealing with crippling anxiety for my entire life, and while I have made a lot of progress before this video, watching this made me understand fully what is happening. I broke down in tears, I couldn't believe how much of the anxiety melted away just from understanding this. I have been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks 24/7 even when I'm alone (which I am most of the time) Seriously crippling anxiety. Thank you so much, I wish that I could do more to show how thankful I am.

[@kitcat2449]

I'm so happy to hear his videos are helping people to understand themselves better ❤

[@m3kbeatz]

I am the same. How u dealing with it?

[@lmnboi1935]

I have crippling anxiety bc ive been hiding the fact that i drunkenly and high played spin the bottle with strangers. Ive half told the truth twice and i feel good for like a week until itbcomes back

[@Kuzcopia]

I get that the perception of failure can be more crippling than the actual failure, but what if you've experienced the failure several times? Using the game analogy, if you've suffered crippling failures such that you can't fathom a failure-less future? Like, the anxiety is not based on a projection, but on a sleuth of provable experiences ('cause you either witnessed them or they're your own). The only way I've found to unfreeze is to accept that failure as part of the experience. Like, sure it'll go wrong, but it's still what I want to/should do? I dunno.

[@MathildaMolanderMolin]

Once i insulted someone i had a crush on, it was a joke that went wrong. That person did not recipicate my feelings. That was two years ago, still thinking about it sometimes and regret it. I've accepted that is the way it is, and that i probably never will be able to apoligise, and that is weard to do it now, but sometimes i think that i wanna do it anyway. The urge is strong but i ignore it. Is it the right thing to do? How can I for get about it?

[@steve13]

Anxiety used to cripple me a lot, now I keep the bastard in check with a wim hoff's breathing and meditation combo

[@raderT90]

wim hoff's breathing and meditation? I haven't heard of that before. Does it really help? How long before you can tell the difference?

[@Ludovit110]

@@raderT90 I've done the breathing exercise only twice, but I'd say (so far) instantly.

[@RanOvaT]

Good for you

[@casualgamers3369]

Weirdly enough this sort of explains my video game addiction. Over time I've racked up thousands of hours playing a game, but I've realized "hey, I don't even enjoy doing this. Why do I play this game?". I realized by playing a game I immerse myself in the experience in order to block out unpleasant thoughts that cause my anxiety. I was constantly worried about things out of my control.

[@XxKINGatLIFExX]

Bloody hell! That has to be the single most brilliant video I've watched this year! Good job Doc!

[@EkaterinaTaraskina]

I had an anxiety that if I get rid of anxiety, my life would become more calm and happy but more dangerous. So I had an anxiety to lost my anxiety

[@chrisbessey358]

‘The smarter you are the more you experience anxiety”. Not necessarily true. If someone is more attuned to negative emotion, this can account for increased symptoms of anxiety.

[@gwayav9]

It's the diff. between correltion and causation. Being smart doesn't make you anxious. Being anxious doesn't mean you're smart. What he says is that the smarter you are, the higher chances you have to be anxious. For example, imagine two people equally attuned to negative emotions, the smarter one will have higher chances to be more anxious.

[@BarniDeDino]

Thanks alot for making this, i think i tried to avoid the thought me having anxiety entirely for a while but now its pretty apparent and this video really helped me understand how to deal with it. May Allah bless you dude

[@kreyzgr5167]

wow man that's a really good and useful video, but its so hard to actually be confident

[@pkguhgjnr6098]

uh-oh i guess i have been coping with my anxiety my whole life by playing games and avoiding social life..