U.K Cocaine Addiction - My Story - 21 Years of Hell

[@interesting2491]

I’m addicted to watching people who are addicted talking about addiction

[@kdlofty]

Well it's addictive.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

🤣🤣🤣

[@peoplearestrange5912]

I’ll give you a half hour of pure solid content for 50 quid.

[@lisao6928]

LOL. Great comment

[@---df5sr]

I’m addicted to replying to comments by people who are addicted to watching videos about people talking about addiction.

[@Anakin130506]

Had an addiction for almost 15 yrs. spent literally 10’s thousands on coke. Lost jobs, nearly my home and my wife and kids.. I made the decision that enough was enough and I cut everyone out of my life who encouraged me or sold it to me… my life changed instantly, now 7 years without touching it, the thought of it now makes me feel sick..

[@xgtwb6473]

Cracking bit of sherbet

[@Anakin130506]

Mate I don’t regret any of it, I had some fucked up times. Regret is to think about it and let it consume me further. It happened, I’m not proud of it, what I’m proud of is realising I had a problem and solving it. It can be done

[@jeffrey4069]

@Klm458alright man shut up he’s done with that stuff.

[@jeffrey4069]

@Klm458 alright man sorry

[@unidaspandemia9936]

@Klm458 10 k is cheap as fuck man... in 15 years regular coke user expend like 100k

[@charlesswallow2137]

I definitely had the autopilot, terrible when you are desperate to stop, even when going to the dealer I was thinking "I don't want to buy any" but would buy anyway... I am 99 days clean today. Congrats on your recovery

[@DiariesofanAddict]

wow amazing mate, keep it going :) so many people can relate to the story very nice to hear.totally agree autopilot could ware off then you think shit I've ordered it now its to late. horrible stuff, stay strong bro :)

[@skipnasty8057]

Hey man, good for you, seriously I mean that.

[@andrearaver1384]

​@@DiariesofanAddictI was same eztascy mama raves .whizz .sniff never ends .lost count how many times I've said I've ad enough I'm done but then think and it let's get messy vicious circle

[@andrearaver1384]

I started at age 15 now 51 Still at it

[@DiariesofanAddict]

that's a stretch mate hope your well @@andrearaver1384

[@samp1312]

When I used to get cravings I forced myself to concentrate on how awful and dirty I felt after the comedown. That was a good trick for me.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

very effective way, I was taught to role play it out in my head what will happen if I consume, which for me would be , spend load money / not turn up for work / end up in debt / kicked out of my house / no gym / tell lies / feel like shit after /. and regret it .. etc the list goes on and on.. :)

[@deg6788]

I had thé same tactics . Just feeling so awefull afterwards made me not want to do it again soon...

[@frankthetank8216]

Yea imagining the comedown kicking in when all the blow is gone. That sucks so hard you dont want to touch the stuff anymore

[@latinas_vip]

I used same tactic combined with chewing tobacco ​@DiariesofanAddict

[@vazzzher]

@@frankthetank8216 even reading this comment did the trick

[@imperial1237]

I am sober from drugs and alcohol three years in January. I am 48 and took my first wrap of speed at 15ish. As it turns out alcohol never agreed with me but proved a gateway to debauched nights/days/weeks/months and years of drug abuse. I lied, I cheated and I even stole Es once. I opened the recycling bin one morning before collection and couldn't fit more cans of Stella in. This was the point I decided enough was enough and I stopped right there. I sought help, I received help, I was honest with myself and addiction to alcohol and cocaine, over time, with desire and discipline vanished over the horizon. I am disciplined, I work hard and I am grateful for the Universe conspiring in my favour now. Happy, healthy and truly alive. One Love and well done Sir ❤ ❤

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Amazing words mate, I feel you! looking for alcohol in the bin is like wtf, I’ve done similar with Coke picking bits up from off the floor just to keep going!! Absolutely mental, I’m glad you are well to live and tell the tale!! We’ll dome amigo ♥️♥️♥️

[@Linda-gw5pm]

Dear Mark, I was a total speed freak in Bristol the the 80s. I have been sober for about 40 years. I had a psychotic break down, and at my worst I was 5 and a half stone. I am grateful for every day. I have a daughter and a grandson and a wonderful husband . I have been honest snd remain honest about my past. Some one recently asked me if I had ever tried drugs. I laughed and said there are not many I haven't.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

hahah nice to hear and its great to have some humour about it also :) glad you are doing well you can live to tell the tale :)

[@OMEGOOLIEBIRD]

You replied to a BOT! Look at he user name and compare it to others.. see a pattern.. No idea why they would be on your video, but it is a bot for sure...@@DiariesofanAddict

[@EternalEnemy]

The last line made me laugh. I salute you 🙂

[@Linda-gw5pm]

@billyboomstick8657 Now life can begin x.

[@Researchthejoos]

Love this

[@Dan-f9l9m]

My story is exactly the same as yours it's crazy. Cash point at 12, pay on a Thursday and not going to work on a Friday, payday loans it's mad I used to do all the things you do and I'm still doing it. I'm 33 now and relapsed last week after 4 months but I'm a week clean tomorrow again and just got to keep trying

[@janelle009]

Hope you're doing well again! Keep on pushing... easier said than done of course. I let my mind and emotions get to me and feel hopeless then make my situation worse. I know I can do it though and have done it before and far worse but my circumstances and life situation is far worse which keeps me in a cycle that's bad. It's frustrating to be able to be fully self aware but seemingly not be able to control or change it and not knowing how without certain support but I've got to get over what I can't change and keep trying. Much love ❤

[@hContentOftheInternet]

Did you end up using again?

[@OMEGOOLIEBIRD]

It is rubbish, that is a BOT account! Why the hell are they here? What is going on with youtube these days?! Look at the user name, and look down the page, there are tons of them! always a name with a -74646 or some number after it... AI generated bots!@@hContentOftheInternet

[@misterjones2u]

good luck mate, you can beat this

[@millhouse313]

You didn’t relapse. You used again, it’s not a big deal. You remembered why you didn’t like it. You’re not an addict. You just used drugs.

[@Mr.Hatticus]

I'm sitting here now after having fought off "the craving" . I'm determined to do the same tomorrow 'cos i know it'll be back. But , tonight , i win. Cheers & good luck mate.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

You win bro and you keep winning, I told someone today, once I was driving and I went through a bad craving when it subsided as I was driving home i unwinded my window and shouted as loud as possible “ f**K you craving your not taking me” do what works for you bro I wish you strength to get through that shit 💪💪💪

[@888ssss]

dont have a cheeky lifter.

[@Mr.Hatticus]

I won again! I'm gonna do this. Feel better already. Cheers.@@888ssss

[@thereformedrayray]

Bro..your name tag is f*ckin awesome 😂

[@Researchthejoos]

​@@DiariesofanAddict Loved this breakdown This is exactly me Starting sober today

[@ricochetsixtyten]

Thanks for the video. Someone very dear to me has been struggling with this for 5-6 years now with no sign of stopping.

[@yolobro2071]

I have been addicted for 24 years. 24 years of HELL. Sober for 3 years this Christmas.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

@@yolobro2071 amazing bro great story ❤️

[@Deleted11100]

I’m 25 and feel like a complete no hoper. I have a little girl who’s birthday is today the 17th June… nothing to show for it… Hearing you be honest that your 20’s to 30’s was utter chaos brings me some slight peace and relief. I am borderline suicidal. I’ve actually kicked the coke habit, it’s drink that’s now killing me. Thankyou for this video mate, I will be returning. X

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Yo, You need to pick yourself up mate, think of your little girl! You’ve got off the gear which is great now time to kick the poison of alcohol! Once you eliminate that you’ll feel much better and your life will pick up! You can do it 🙏

[@Deleted11100]

@@DiariesofanAddict thankyou so much brother really appreciate the kind response and I’ll remember this advice, it’s my first day with this mindset I’m afraid but also hopeful. Of all drugs it’s literally only been alcohol and coke where I’ve made the endless mistakes and shame. Take care buddy

[@DiariesofanAddict]

@@Deleted11100 no problem bro, you can do it, you have to put your sobriety above anything else! It’s number one from the moment you wake til you sleep! Once that’s on point the rest will follow brother 👌

[@dannyH84]

You have a child. Grow some balls for gods sake. Selfish man

[@mrdeafa25]

Nobody to blame but yourself. Get your head out of your arse, stop whingeing, stop looking for sympathy. Go and look after your child. You are 25, not 15 FFS.

[@romannicolai3628]

Haven’t been able to relate to a video about addiction more than this one, I’m only 18 but I have suffered from addiction for 4 years. I can really relate to those 2 different personalities that you brought up later on in the video. I am a 6 months clean from cocaine use and I’ve found these videos have really helped. Great video mate, thankyou

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Glad your doing well bro keep going 💪♥️

[@ClamMan1989]

It's good you became an addict so young but are also recovering young. I know you have suffered tremendously, but recovering addicts are some of wisest, deepest souls I know. In effect, with your struggles you have paid for very valuable XP that levels you up loads. And the best thing is you've got the hardest bit already out the way! Now you have a whole life of freedom, wisdom and adventure before you. You have been blessed and will bless others. You will feel the hand of God on your shoulder and you will know there's a reason you're here, you'll be certain that you have a purpose. I promise you, stranger, a great destiny is set before. Don't ever worry, try not to doubt and remember the virtue of patience. Prayers *often* get answered but not immediately. Whatever you believe, I want you to know you're blessed and you. God's Peace bless and keep you always, stranger.

[@elchapooo6668]

Keep going pal you have your whole life ahead of you

[@craggles7538]

This story is amazing because I’ve been a heavy coke user for 20 years and this was like you telling me my life story on drugs it’s a sad existence when it gets a grip of you I hope everyone is doing well and stay healthy thanks for this

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Hope your well bro, thanks for watching 😁

[@craggles7538]

@@DiariesofanAddict I am lad I still do relapse from time to time but I am doing better your video was great it scared me to hear what you where saying all of it rang true to me apart from going to Spain to volunteer 😂thanks so much for sharing and u look after yourself 👍

[@CarlBland-l8l]

​@@DiariesofanAddictbeing skint is actually a good thing lol

[@charlie15953]

Well done my friend..I’ve never met you but I’m proud of you .. 👍

[@DiariesofanAddict]

@@charlie15953 cheers mate 🧉

[@SuperR160]

Never goes away. I relapsed after 12 years clean & sober....im back 6 months clean again.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

totally agree its there forever and has to be managed, glad you back on track :)

[@Martin-kb6hz]

Man, thank you very much for your story! It is always important to hear that no matter what it is possible to change for better

[@DiariesofanAddict]

No problem mate glad to help ❤️

[@jakobpind]

Thx for sharing mate. My story with drugs started when I was 17, in around 2003. Started having friends who used drugs. I was totally against drugs, but every weekend I had to say no many times. One Friday night I was at a party at my friends flat. I had my first snort of amfetamine. Game over. I was using every weekend the next year. Not only amfetamine, but also weed to be able to sleep the days after. I tried moving to another city, but I wound up getting similar type of friends in the new city. I ended up being saved by joining the military. I went from daily using weed, and using powder drugs in the weekends to using nothing. Best decision I have ever made. It was July 2007. Living a good life today, with wife, kids, job, house etc.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Great story mate, well done 👍

[@jacksmith4484]

Keep going mate I’m 37 and struggling with coke and alcohol since I was 16 it’s ruined my life I’ve lost friends , gfs , jobs and must of spent well over £10000 on coke , kids pls don’t do drugs it’s not cool

[@KjetilNordal]

Thank you for being so honest. My addiction started in my late 30’s. Breaking up with my girlfriend. Went down a spiral, and Couldn’t stop….luckily I have a family that has the funds to get me in to a private clinic. Because I was also doing Benzos for the comedown of cocaine. And the benzos are fare more worse. Very inspirational to see your recovery. Stay strong👍

[@DiariesofanAddict]

thank you very much I'm glad your well now also :)

[@janelle009]

Break ups can definitely do something to you. I'm sorry that happened but glad you've got that support and hope you're good today!! I've heard benzos are actually one of the very worse and most dangerous to stop. You just don't hear about it much like you do heroin or even alcohol.

[@SAMEntalhealth]

I did that too with the benzos, I wouldn't take High dosages but just enough to slow my heart a little bit. But I know people that take super high dosages of benzos to come down to the point where they're basically dried drunk and that is very very dangerous. I can't even imagine. But nowadays benzos are only if I'm having a panic attack or extreme insomnia, because I've had panic disorder since I was nine years old. I never really saw the addictive properties to benzos only because they're not necessarily actors on dopamine, but I see people that are alcoholics and get prescribed benzos, so they use them like alcohol and that's another really bad slippery slope. Proud of you by the way

[@turtleanton6539]

Had a friend who died of benzos

[@CarlBland-l8l]

Weed I'd the 1 4 cumdowns but were never doing it again

[@jamesh2123]

This just popped up on my feed and I thought I’d give it a watch since I was a coke addict for 5-6 year. Nearly 2 years sober now just stone cold quit one day and never looked back. It’s good to hear your story and how we all relate in how bad it had gotten. How you lie and do anything for a fix I would spend my pay same as you every Friday got riddled with Defaults and CCJ’s but I’m much happier where I am and looking back to where i used to be is scary

[@DiariesofanAddict]

thanks for the watch 100 mate at the time you don't realise but from the outside looking in when you break it down how your life is/was to most people its very bad, glad your ok now sober life much better :)

[@marisajackson9152]

Wow man your video is incredible. Your honesty and just pure openness is amazing. I just left a cocaine and alcohol addict after 14 years, I figured he just didn’t love me enough to stop. Emotionless is an understatement of his character while using. Everything you described I’ve lived directly alongside him begging and pleading for him to stop, not having a clue he was on autopilot and definitely another person .. whew …. Currently recovering from the character I’ve become thanks to him… Bravo mister 💐

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Thanks for your comment, am sorry you had to experience it, sounds like he is unwell! I’m afraid the reality is unless he genuinely wants to stop and get off it the drugs will always come first, it’s very sad to watch! One day he may wake up and realise what he has lost. I wish you well ❤️

[@MatthewMolens]

"Didn't love me enough to stop" grossly ignorant statement IMHO

[@Lpickars5713]

The part about doing a 1.7g line has just given me heart palputations and sweaty palms thinking about it. My usage wasn't as regular as yours but the impact it has had at times has nearly been as significant. 9 months in on my sober journey I look forward to hearing your next videos about what comes next because that's what i've found the hardest, no drug= no joy. Too worried to socialise incase you see the same people so I've ended up a recluse.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

@@Lpickars5713 cheers bro!! nice one 9 months is great and going strong!! I think you need to create a life which is exciting! For me I love travelling and having things to work towards! I cut off all my friends who use as don’t want to be there! Also love gym etc! I’m planning to start life coaching and to move country’s having dreams and goals like this keeps me focused and in check! I think socialising in different circles is important being around other individuals who don’t use! If you hang around with the old clang it just makes things harder to stop and increases risk of relapse. Sure more videos on the way 🖐️🖐️💪

[@Lpickars5713]

@DiariesofanAddict that's great to hear. Thanks for sharing, mate. The gym is probably my biggest outlet, which has been the reason I've got this far. I think part of my use was always to overcome social awkwardness and connect with people, so I'll have to work on that separately and put myself in some uncomfortable positions to overcome it. Your plans for the future sound great, bro. I hope it all works out for you, I've subscribed, so look forward to seeing your journey!!

[@EMan-cu5zo]

My mid thirties was by far the worst part of my life as well. My body couldn’t take the abuse anymore. Thankfully that is behind me.

[@six1manillakid159]

That's where I am mate well done getting out

[@EMan-cu5zo]

@@six1manillakid159 the sooner the better but never to late as long as you’re under 80. Next time I plan on getting extremely high is while on my deathbed. I think that would be a proper occasion for that but who knows I might even reconsider that depending on how miserable I feel. Took me a while to dig myself out of my hole and many things can’t ever be repaired but you have to own it and move on. Hopefully to make better decisions in the future.

[@Greig287]

so similar to my story - now coming up 7 years sober. It can be done! Great work :)

[@michaelhawkins5855]

Great video. I like the explanation about split personality, the addicted mind taking over the real you. Well done, this video is very honest, very helpful.

[@francocapitanini2411]

one year sober here from coke!

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Amazing bro keep it up 💪

[@suzettecolombo]

Cheers!!! Thank you so very much!!! I am so very grateful I found your video!!! I can relate 100% I have been in the Northeast USA my whole life, a few decades and addiction has been and continues to be prominent in my area. I know it is prominent across the globe as well. Thank you so much for your time!!!

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Thank you glad you enjoyed and found useful!! Hope you are well ♥️♥️

[@suzettecolombo]

@@DiariesofanAddict Thank you so much...🙏🙏

[@kaidavenport]

Thanks!

[@DiariesofanAddict]

wow to kind 🙏🙏🙏

[@DSnumber001]

Very lucid description, thanks for sharing it. You hero

[@DiariesofanAddict]

:)

[@robynmarler1951]

I can't describe how much I'm feeling for everyone here. I'm so glad mate that you're good now. I was crying about everything you went through. Decent of you to want to help others. I'm praying for us all my dear brothers.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Thank you very much yes wonderful people we are all connected 🫶🫶🫶

[@GiftedGaz78]

Listening to you speak with clarity, I find it hard to imagine what you were like before you got soba.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

a mess haha, thanks :)

[@noneyourbusiness341]

it scares me how many people are going to go through similar addiction issues as you’ve experienced yourself. drug culture surrounding cocaine in the uk at the moment is absolutely fucking horrendous. good luck with your recovery.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

💯 agree with you. Thanks for watching 👍

[@G88-y1g]

I know rite? Its everywhere

[@PeterNorthCumshotLegend]

​@@DiariesofanAddictsmack head 🤡

[@CarlBland-l8l]

​@@G88-y1ga its a tramps drug lol

[@jcopley6901]

Thank you so much for this video. After 17 years of addiction, ive never heard a better explanation of it. Very inspiring🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Thank you very much I hope it helps ♥️♥️

[@georgeofthejungle6095]

I went through 8 years of my life like this. I was a functional addict, but also had a bad problem with tolerance as I could bend it like Beckham. Just so glad I moved away and was able to kill the addiction.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Smart move mate 🫶

[@kewins1234]

Im trying to move, I know I have to get out of environment IM IN. Glad to hear this might help.

[@jamiekey8569]

17 years I've struggled with drink and cocaine im 35 now i cant do it no more 😢 ive tried stopping twice 7 months and 2 months please lord give me strength this time 😢😢😢it will kill me if i don't stop i know that im exhausted with. it i hate it and myself

[@lyrazilvertong]

when you feel most empty after coke that next day if you relapse that is the time to really say no remember the days before you could not and find all your strenght

[@richardgarner2510]

Good luck friend, I will pray for you...

[@moirahill6397]

It's an illness. It hijacks your brain. Be kind to yourself dear.

[@alteo8588]

Thank you for telling us your drug addiction story and your insights into addiction. I am working to get over my own addictions and educating myself on how addiction works has been a real help.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

No problem hope your well bro 🫶

[@aloeblack8853]

So honest. Thank you for this. My addiction was not as severe as yours but I am just coming to the end of 19 years of regular drug abuse. I can resonate with so much of what you said. Hope you are well

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Cheers mate you to ❤️

[@michellesmith1730]

Your story is so close to mine and will help so many people I’m so grateful that you chose to share your experience and how you came out of the deepest place you can be with addiction x

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Wow thank you, no problem important to share so many people in this situation and yet never talked about, now we can build a community I hope you are well 💪

[@andrewcerrone4096]

Ur the best source out there for getting sober that I’ve come across

[@DiariesofanAddict]

@@andrewcerrone4096 thank you bro here to show people 🤝

[@JN-vo2cp]

Well done for sharing Mark. Glad to hear you managed to turn it around.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

cheers mate :)

[@slunkeh]

This is the best insight into addiction I have ever heard. Very well explained and can fully imagine how you must have felt. Well done with your recovery journey.

[@TheVictoriousG]

Mark, thank you for sharing this with the world. Your video came up randomly on my recommended list and knew I had to click to watch. I just overdosed on a cocaine celebrating my bday going on a 3rd day binge. Unfortunately, this is my second overdose. I was young when I had my first and didn’t care, I was so reckless & immature that it didn’t even phase me. I am much wiser now and understand the gravity of what just happened but apparently not so wise because of my poor decisions. Everything on how you described how addiction was for you was for me. I can see now why God put your video for me to watch to show me I wasn’t alone. I’m really glad I watched your story. Turned 31 on Dec 1st & was using for 16yrs. I’m grateful for the second chance god has given me. Thank you again for sharing your story and the struggles that came after. I didn’t know I needed to hear this. God works in mysterious ways but there are no coincidences. There’s a reason I’m here and I’m going to find out. Thank you Mark 🙏🏼

[@DiariesofanAddict]

@@TheVictoriousG your very welcome mate, glad it has helped! you are definitely not alone, we are all in this together! We try to learn from our mistakes! hopefully now this will turn the corner for you and you can move forward. Wish you the best ❤️

[@Yorrhto]

Congrats mate! 💪👏 My best to anyone struggling out there, you're all far stronger you than you may think

[@ramieoileus1544]

Absolutely outstanding! I was mesmerised watching this it takes a lot for me to cry but this really made me cry because I have a similar story and not many people understand the grip drugs and alcohol get on you When you said about the 2 personalities and going in to auto pilot...WOW just wow because that is the most SPOT ON description of it! You should be so proud of your self at getting over this and bettering yourself we are worth more we deserve to be healthy I'm so glad you studied about addiction etc..knowledge is power! You have a new fan here mark!! Marie finnigan from Liverpool u.k❤

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Amazing!! Thank you very much I hope you are well ♥️♥️

[@richardpedley6291]

I was adicted to opits heroin an metherdon for over 33 years im now over 2 years clean best of luck everyone

[@dudushe]

Mate. Thank you so much for your share. I am 139 days clean. I have the most visceral dreams about using. I am currently going to Cocaine Anonymous, but I feel like an outsider. To be honest, I haven't been in 3 weeks. I am angry all the time and am finding it difficult to go out when I am not at work. I took various drugs for 30 odd years. I am now 53 and alone, but at least I am clean. The battle against my mind is real and an everyday struggle. Payday is next week. I am trying to remain positive.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

nice to here from you I made a video on dreams, I thinks its common mate, being clean is the most important so well done on your sobriety time, I know how hard it is, I think we go through waves of feeling ups and downs , irritable and angry or maybe disappointment, Readapting to ' normal life ' being sober defo takes time always be aware there's going to be ups and downs! from your words it sounds like you are anticipating relapse as you haven't been to a meeting and are dreading payday! maybe try to get one in before payday I think this will help, you can always try smart recovery meeting Also, you can do these online you may feel more comfortable there! keep it together mate, remember the goal don't let that junk win, stay strong. :)

[@CarlBland-l8l]

Did u get past payday?

[@dudushe]

@CarlBland-l8l Unfortunately not. I was 1 day away from celebrating 6 months of sobriety and relapsed. I realise now that you can't just go to meetings when you want. You have to go, especially in the early stages of recovery, as much as possible. Also, get a sponsor and work the steps. I am now 1 week clean. I feel great. I don't look at my relapse as a bad thing. (Though I did at first). I realise how boring life is when I am using. It's not amazing now, but at least I am clean. Stay strong, everyone.

[@CarlBland-l8l]

​@dudushe I've realised I just need to avoid the human race it's really bad here in the North East

[@adZHARRISON]

ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT and congratulations Sir - very well spoken - i'm sure this video will help alot of people - PLEASE EVERYONE GIVE IT A THUMBS UP - Help get the word out , this will save some lives

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Thanks bro , I hope to highlight to people what potentially could happen if you keep using like myself it could have serious impact on rest of your life and is not worth it for 1 second! Thanks for positive feeedback :)

[@baut1]

It takes a lot of courage to share your story, but it does inspire others into getting help and getting better, I hope you know that

[@sleeplessinstockwell]

Excellent video bro. Always great to see a guy turn his life completely around after a couple of decades of chaos. Well done champ 🏆 keep inspiring

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Thank you bro, really appreciate the positive feedback! 💪💪

[@mcooper593]

Very interesting story. Clearly, an intelligent guy. I’m proud of him for turning his life around. I wish him all the best 🦋

[@DiariesofanAddict]

❤❤❤

[@salahsabiti6901]

9 months sober from alcohol today. It has been hell getting out of hell and still have a long way to go.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

booooom, keep going ❤

[@ecelepsy9124]

Sat here one month clean from all drugs after being given OxyContin age 16 after an operation. I’m 30 next month. I was lucky and kept things under control, even going a year or two clean, but in 2021 I started using every weekend and this continued until last month when I finally said enough is enough. I’m thinking about sharing my own story now after seeing your video. Thanks so much for sharing. I get to celebrate my month free from my chains with my first ever glasto. It’ll be my first festival completely drug free and in all honestly so excited to never have to worry about feeling sluggish and suicidal after a night on the pills.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Great to hear long may it continue! Share you story and spread the message. Let me know when done I will watch. 👌

[@coney7916]

Fantastic video mate. I applaud you for you honesty and determination. Very inspiring

[@DiariesofanAddict]

❤️

[@AnalogueInTheUK]

You're kicking it in the balls, pal. A truly inspiring video. Keep your wits about you and stay strong and proud.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

@@AnalogueInTheUK 🤝

[@David-py4bo]

Thank you so much for your share you have done soooo well to get clean and sober i know how hard it is and for me i go to CA meetings three times a week got myself a sponser who i love and trust to help me get through my 12 steps im on step 6 with him and am 95 days clean and sober. Im know getting my life back and my lifes so managable now thanks to the CA fellowship. If your watching this share he is not lieing how bad drugs have took him through hell just like it did to me. The drugs are not the problem its it us amd have to learn to stay in recovery. If ya reading this ya blessed and still alive to get the support

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Thanks for your message… keep going you sound like you are in the right place :) I wish you all the best and sending you my strength ♥️

[@paulbartell38]

Hi Mark. One of the best posts on addiction I’ve seen. A brave, honest account. God Bless. 🙏🏻♥️💐

[@DiariesofanAddict]

thanks you very much I appreciate your kindness :)

[@davidludford2164]

So watching you video brought so many things home,so I had a power walk for an hour at 06.30 and then drove an hour for a AA meeting at 09.O0 in pattaya Thailand,see just by watching you video reminded me that I am an alcoholic,thank you so much and keep up the good work,and never forget we are the winners

[@DiariesofanAddict]

We’ll done mate, that’s motivational to me ❤❤❤

[@dogbog99]

Thanks for posting, everyone is so very different in this world and I think it’s important for people to understand people’s addiction stories. Take care man ❤️ 🤗

[@DiariesofanAddict]

💯 thanks mate

[@jassondea5510]

I started taking drugs when I was just 12. Starting with cannabis then speed, acid by the time I was 14 and then e’s at 16 this was in 92 when the e’s were really strong. I was a heroin addict by the time I was 18. I am now 47 and a cocaine addict. I managed to kick the smack into touch when my first daughter was born but I have just swapped on addiction for another. I am really struggling with life so it’s good hear recovery stories as it gives me hope. Well done mate

[@samanthawho9591]

May I ask how heroin differs from your cocaine addiction?

[@DiariesofanAddict]

I wish you the best of luck

[@jassondea5510]

@@samanthawho9591 good question. I’ve realised for me anyway there are many reasons for addiction but for me I see it like this. There’s the addiction to the feeling that for me came immediately. I loved the feeling of both heroin and cocaine. The second part is the physical side to addiction. Though cocaine doesn’t give you the same withdraws that heroin causes, Like shivers cold sweats, aching like you’ve never felt…it actually hurts it’s that bad, sickness, diarrhoea and this lasts for days but then there’s the psychological part to heroin, you know in your head what you need to feel normal, not hurting even been able to sleep cos that’s right out of the window when your going through withdrawal. Cocaine however is a different beast, like I said you don’t get sick when u stop using coke it’s the psychological side that really affects you that need in your head that you need a line or a pipe or even a hit. It’s that wanting of the rush that feeling once again. Your question has made me think, the two drugs give very different feelings but if I’m honest I loved the both, I’ve always loved feeling different let’s say. So then I think about what it is about me, why do I feel the need to be like that. Pls take it from someone who knows just stay away from both drugs, the cause nothing but misery. Take care and thanks for reading and asking a good question.

[@thejudderman8265]

@@samanthawho9591two different beasts, most heroin addicts will tell you you’ve never experienced true pain until you’ve gone through a rattle (withdrawal from smack). Withdrawal from coke isn’t nice but it’s definitely more manageable than smack.

[@aaroncunningham1280]

Great video man, I’m the exact same age as you and my story is scarily similar to yours, I’ve mostly been sober the last year with one or two slips along the way, but feel I’m almost there. Appreciate the honestly of your story and well done on getting to where you are after all you’ve been through

[@DiariesofanAddict]

great to here mate well done, if only you could just say im stopping and stop unfortunately it all takes time, determination, we all fail along the way but its about picking yourself straight back up and having another go, well done and keep going :)

[@aaroncunningham1280]

@@DiariesofanAddict exactly man, I’ve had a few tough months this year and unfortunately turned to alcohol as it was my usual default. It only made things worse, but I’m in a better place now. Keep up the great content

[@conqueringruler4283]

Thanks for telling your story so others can take warning. I don't use drugs but I feel compassion for people who do.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

thanks appreciate the kindness from someone who hasn't used.

[@lynn7005]

Thankyou for being so open and honest and helping others ...well done for overcoming your addiction

[@DiariesofanAddict]

❤️

[@scotty20040]

Well done for getting your story out, even if it helps just one youngster. My poison was heroin and spent 20yrs battling the demon, I am 2yrs sober now, I still think about it everyday and everyday I wake up I go through the process off switching myself on, reminding myself I am a addict and this day is another day being sober. Did go through a small period smoking crack but quickly came to my senses.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Fair play mate, that’s amazing, yea 💯 agree if it for life and we need to be in tune about that all the time! Yea me 2 tried everything other than H! Thank God Amazing work bro keep it going 🫶

[@wardygrub]

I honestly believe that heroin is the devil. It took a boyfriend of mine and was like an evil woman in his life. When he died I felt like she’d murdered him. I hate her. Stay well brother. You’re not alone. X

[@turtleanton6539]

I see🎉🎉🎉

[@richardlongmore9301]

I was lost on coke for 15 years. I had to literally throw my phone in the bin and move to another country to break the habit It was such a relief to be somewhere where I just couldn’t get it. I didn’t get any bad withdrawals but had long term depression but that might just be my adhd Good luck if you are battling this addiction.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Well done mate, sometimes we have to extreme measures to kick it!! I did the same.

[@oddunb6190]

How’d you afford it?

[@richardlongmore9301]

@@oddunb6190 it was the 90s and everyone was clubbing and it was easy to sell I would get a oz cut it a little bit with glucoses and sell half of it and keep 18 g for me I was working full time as well. But it all spiralled in to a shitstorm. I would advise no one to touch cocaine It’s just to nice and if your like me with adhd and low dopamine anyway you first hit of coke is like you feel alive for the first time ever. That’s the problem. I’m 50 now and have been off it for 25 years.

[@Patchy333333]

Well done mate. Great to hear someone of a similar age to me get their life back on track. I’m 32, from Somerset and on the dark and light. About to go for 3 months rehab. Keep up the good work!

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Mate I wish you all the best keep in touch ♥️♥️♥️

[@Rose_19911]

thanks for this video man, watched the whole lot at nearly 4am, i’ve had a few sessions past 10 years or so but i’m pleased to say i’m sober now & looking to stay that way… respect to you

[@DiariesofanAddict]

fair play mate, defo stay that way never worth it, appreciate your time :)

[@Bunty-yc2rb]

Even to someone who's never used illegal drugs this was very interesting.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

thanks glad you enjoyed 🤗

[@brennanando]

The drug situation in Bristol is terrible and it frustrates me so much how the city is portrayed as such a wonderful place. So many people in need of help when you walk around Broadmead and Cabot Circus.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Totally agree I think whole uk has a huge problem even small areas where I’m from it’s everywhere, drug pandemic which is destroying people and it’s not even talked about. Hope your well ♥️

[@brennanando]

@@DiariesofanAddict In my opinion, Bristol's problem is the normalisation of drugs. So many of the pubs on Gloucester Road turn a blind eye to people smoking weed or doing coke off your door key in their beer gardens.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

@@brennanando 100%

[@A_View_From_The_Shire]

It’s the whole U.K. now mate. Even sleepy little Shire towns are now flooded with drugs, especially coke. The attitude towards it has changed over last ten years or so.

[@cw9721]

Thank you for sharing, hell of a story & very motivating. Congratulations on pulling though 🙏

[@DiariesofanAddict]

thank you apparecte the support hope your well :)

[@nicholaskoenig3106]

Mark thanks so much for sharing your story! Really a truly WILD RIDE thru addiction and best luck to extending your recovery one day... one moment at a time.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

❤️

[@mv4424]

Proud of you man, it’s not easy to get out of addictions but if you are able to do it when you are in that deep it shows serious will power.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

thanks for your kind words ♥

[@welshhibby]

Thanks for sharing. I did e's in the early 90's and needed a bad experience of paranoid to eventually stop.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Very good choice mate 💪

[@HrjneEhehhe]

Thankyou so much that explanation of cravings makes so much sense, and has given me the motivation to carry on, especially the depression part, it makes you think what’s the point of staying sober if you feel so depressed. I think previously just the thought of using (and knowing I could use) gave me the dopamine hit. this video came up for a reason to me ❤

[@DiariesofanAddict]

💯 the excitement to use in itself can give you a buzz, many people still get excited about that! You need to flip it and think of all the negatives! Thanks for watching mate

[@HrjneEhehhe]

thanks so much i can relate to you so much in your videos its so refreshing, i was sober for 8 years and fell off the wagon 3 years ago- i cant wait to keep watching your vids, thank you!@@DiariesofanAddict

[@fabianfil]

Wow... Very strong to talk about it so openly. I know that addictive personality part that takes over and you just don't have a chance anymore.... Just autopilot mode... You can be really proud to have done this. Good luck furthermore 👍 Greetings from Germany.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

thank you bro, hola Germany :) met dome great germans on my travels over the past few years :)

[@goodfella6675]

My bad experience with class A is equally similar and unique, as every addiction story is. And the lesson I learned is that you and only you decide every step. Don’t blame the addiction, find out the reason why you need them. Go back to that kid and tell him/her that they don’t need them to get by. To anyone struggling - one day at the time, you can do it.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

totally agree bro, nice to hear your thoughts hope your well now :)

[@nomusplenus]

This is the good advice. Real talk! Every fuck up ive done was through my own choice and astute therefore stopping won't actually make any difference to who I am!

[@JoeyWarr]

I completely resonate with your description of oblivion. The part where you said that your addiction personality has been satisfied is so true for me. Its almost like it just says thank you im done now and your the one who has to pick up the pieces. Amazing video and upmost respect for sharing your story. I hope it helps others as much as it has me

[@OP_Chugging]

really well put together video, congrats to you on your sobriety and success!

[@XpRnz]

Perfectly put. You have literally the same journey as me (in my 18th year now) , Oblivion was one of my favourite games, ironically. Including the crying, binging and the damage routine. Very inspiring, I'll be with you on your journey of spreading the word to hopefully prevent harm to our younger brothers or sisters. Cheers mate 👍🏻

[@DiariesofanAddict]

thanks hope your well :)

[@jonathanworth2131]

Thank you for your wonderful share. Very similar timeline as myself with cocaine. After two years sober I fell off for the better part of a year, losing everything like all the times before. I'm 35 now. It's always great hearing others with similar experiences overcoming addiction, gives us hope.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Wow amigo, thanks for your feedback! I hope you Get yourself back on track and learn from it mate :) amazing you went 2 years clean, every-time we relapse the same thing happens we go back to losing everything, don't worry you will over come it and recover :) stay strong any questions let me know :)

[@kristensorensen2219]

Addiction is the worst slavery.

[@flmct]

One of the best accounts of sobriety i’ve ever watched mate, found this very engaging from start to finish. I find it interesting that you’re from Bristol as well, as in recent times i’ve associated this place with drugs quite a lot. Fascinating to hear the story of someone who’s been in your previous position and has grown up there, and with the impact the city’s drug culture has on a person.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

thanks mate hope your well

[@danieljones7501]

I’m ten days clean off cocain never going back then cravings are a joke

[@DiariesofanAddict]

@@danieljones7501 good to hear bro 👊

[@neilcassey1421]

"I armed myself with as much information as possible." Good lad. But you still deserve extra credit for using that info in an intelligent way. And you've put a lot of this info into this video which is helping other people. You're an inspiration mate WELL DONE. 😎😎

[@DiariesofanAddict]

thanks mate appreciate, knowledge is power ❤

[@karensams994]

Was never into the devils dandruff, but I was a massive alcoholic for many years. Been sober for 5 years almost years. Love ur videos.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

@@karensams994 cheers mate 5 years awesome 🙌

[@sfdiwdrth7473]

Respect to you for turning things round.

[@jimmyfusion-c7b]

Really honest and really inspirational... What a brilliant example... Really glad you overcame this awful addiction and won your battle... Good luck for the future!!

[@mrg8963]

Your story is pretty close to mine. I went through cycles of doing different drugs. Eventually led to full blown cocaine habit that turned into smoking crack on a daily basis. I kicked the habit last September thankfully. Haven't touched drugs/alcohol or cigarettes since. Got into crazy amounts of debt over the years. Have probably spent over 100k on getting high over the years. I owed nearly £11k worth of debt in October and its nearly all payed off since getting clean. Leaving the country to go travelling next year. Thank you for sharing your story with us! I hope everyone keeps on the right path in life.

[@Dannydawson1984]

Well done and what a fantastic roll model keep up the amazing work 😊

[@DiariesofanAddict]

@@Dannydawson1984 thank you bro appreciate 🤝

[@Dannydawson1984]

@@DiariesofanAddict fair play to you, without people like yourself being there, to tell your life ups and downs, there would be no hope for anyone, never underestimate your own ability!!

[@jamesturner2603]

this is incredible and inspiring. well done mate, all the best

[@DiariesofanAddict]

thanks bro

[@roblaa..]

Absolutely brilliant well done.Enjoyed that.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Thank you for watching 🫶🫶🫶

[@rainerwahnsinn9672]

very well spoken. had similar experiences. thx for sharing & all the best m8 !

[@DiariesofanAddict]

cheers bro hope your well :)

[@salmansaeedawan6297]

very well described. well done and stay a legend.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

❤

[@chrismoltisanti]

Keep going, mate! Listened to the whole story. Used to do all you did, even though not as intense, still horrible and making my life a mess. Now I'm stuck with daily use of Kratom and I hope I will be able to drop that soon as well.

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Good luck mate 🫶

[@syon600]

What does kratom do for you?

[@chrismoltisanti]

@@syon600 at the beginning it made me happy and euphoric as well as relaxed. I just came from an opioid addiction and then fell straight into the addiction with Kratom.

[@SuperHoggs]

Great video, thank you for sharing

[@DiariesofanAddict]

@@SuperHoggs your welcome 👍

[@bobothezombieslayer]

Thank you for sharing your inspiring story!

[@DiariesofanAddict]

No hay problema 🫶

[@CT-pv9gu]

Whenever I have a few drinks these days, I immediately want to get some gear. I don’t know what’s going on there, but the urge is uncontrollable. The only solution I’ve found is to quit drinking. No alcohol = no need for cocaine. It’s a serious problem here in the UK. It seems like everyone in a pub is on it, and you can tell quite easily…

[@DiariesofanAddict]

@@CT-pv9gu 100 mate, so many people Onit!! I think your brain just gets so use to doing the two together once you are intoxicated from the drink your then seeking the next high! And of course all your morals and guard are lowered!! The only answer is sobriety which is the best option all round 👍 good luck and thanks for comment 👌

[@moirahill6397]

Going to the pub is often a trigger. Give yourself some time away from others who do that stuff. Spend some quality time on yourself.

[@joshabbott1101]

It can most definitely cause a trigger and it does to me. I don’t know if this just me or what but I’m at the point now where I just use gear on my own in my room. No alcohol no pub just sitting there off my rocker playing Xbox for days on end. It’s got so serious I spend all my money on it and no one really knows, even my mum who I live with. I feel so guilty for it but when I’m in the pit all that’s on my mind is when the next line is

[@adamski6312]

@@joshabbott1101 I do that and I’m 42!!

[@teejaylfc5234]

This is my life now. I am 34 every penny I've ever had in the past 12 years has been spent on it before I've got it. I've ruined my life. Live with elderly relatives. Destroyed the house. Don't talk to anyone. Can't hold a job down. Liverpool UK. This gives me hope

[@DiariesofanAddict]

Hope you can get off that shit mate and get your life back!! Devil drug

[@rebekahtrainer2464]

I love this story man. Thank you. Loved the explanation at the end. I am exactly the same

[@andymcnab2.0]

So much damage over a 20 minute buzz up! I've seen how that stuffs made and I just cannot get my head round why people want to put that into their brain.

[@sherryhudson6879]

Brilliant! You described that so perfectly! You described me to a tee…and probably many others too. Proud of you my dear….it feels sooo good, that I quit smoking too, after 45 years! I’m over a year clean from crack cocaine. I still smoke weed but I’m shutting that down also. I’m getting baptized next summer because my helper deserves my humble praise! Hallelujah baby!🤗🥰😎

[@DiariesofanAddict]

We’ll done ♥️♥️♥️

[@cannabis478]

Jesus is lord 🙏