underscores 'You don't even know who I am' Official Video

[@beestings22]

I feel like a lot of people are talking about the surface level stuff about this song being about a stalker, but the thing that immediately stuck out to me about this song is the sincerity of it. This song to me feels like hating yourself and your life so much and wishing your life was someone else’s, so much that it becomes an obsession. It’s obviously pushing this all to an extreme but it really felt like this song was about dysphoria, and the horrible thoughts it can lead someone to have. I live every day wishing I had the life of a lot of cis girls I know. For me personally this thought has never become an obsession with a particular person or anything like in this song, but it’s such a weird feeling to have that I’ve always found really hard to unpack. The envy and jealousy that comes with being trans can be very powerful, and this song feels like the worst and most extreme version of that. Idk I’m rambling at this point I just am so fascinated by where this album is going and the fact that she could make a song about a stalker this beautiful is insane

[@yupekosi]

it makes me so unendingly happy to know that you feel the same way. the "and for once i felt just like you" line makes me feel such powerful things. what else would know everything about me, feel like a creeping sensation, stalking me, knowing everything ive done or will ever do, but manages to be the one thing i dont know about but dysphoria?

[@maya_void3923]

This is same way i interpreted the song before finding out the artists is also transgender, i denied it at the time but after I found out I was like oh no way so it IS about that. Also for me it's not just about dysphoria but much more things, I live in constant pain due to my illness, I'm also mentally in pain because of my OCD ASD crippling anxiety ADHD and something I forgot about, I'm also addicted to opioids (morphine) because of the pains and dependent on psychiatric medicine, I'm also homeless for half a year now and when I thought I finally found a person I will spend my life with and coexist in a symbiotic relationship helping out each other with our disorders, they left me all alone in the shit their parents are mostly responsible for, my whole life I'm dissociated and I can't fully feel that I am myself, I thought one day that I'll never be truly free and happy bevause I would never be able to jump around as a pure consciousness from person to person and experience all the other lives that aren't for me, I always wanted so desperately to experience everything I could and couldn't in my life, probably because my own life is so uncomfortable and I'll never be truly who I am, I was given someone else's body and life that never will truly feel like it's mine, everyone got one to play this game, to have this experience, this unique, extremely personal and intimate experience, and i got a glitches, bugged, broken version of it, I got the one where someone already clicked play and created the avatar for me, where someone for shits and laughs just started new playtrough and selected randomised look and opposite gender before I got my controller being the next in line, and in forbidden to start again, I could only throw the controller away tell the game to fuck off and end it, or play through with the feeling of disappointment and frustration, get the spoiled experience and end up unfulfilled, there's truly no good way out of that, and it's horryfing because it's an actual real life for me not a game and there's nothing past the end, there's nothing more to be, to experience, it's all there is all I get and I can't do anything about it. people seem to forget how fucked up and dire existentially the situation for trans people actually is, we ourselves forget about it, we want to, we are expected to live happily once we get on hrt and somehow be cured, we want to believe it ourselves and get shit scared when the dysphoria is still there sometimes even worse, it's tragic honestly, the blind person may miss out on the visual part of the experience but it's still inherently their experience, it's even more unique in ways, all the horrible things you can be born with are so fucked up like chronic pain for example but honestly the trans experience is exceeding all of them in one crucial way, while all of them are horrible and much more hard in certain ways even deadly, the trans experience means you don't get to be yourself, ever. You're born okay fine then you start puberty and In most cases and the ones Im focusing on, your body your entire physical form starts to drive away the other way, the other road and then you're expected to be in the same route but you aren't, everyone assumes you are so you slowly desintegrate when the "you" everyone assumes you are starts to develop in a crooked way like a tumor where your true self was supposed to grow, and people will never understand how truly disgusting and degenerated it feels, how easy it is to fall into drugs or kill yourself by neglect when you can't even feel that the person you're playing as is in fact you, the process of ripping off that cancerous growth from every fiber of your existence, literally from your brain, and being expected to suddenly grow there as yourself like a healthy person that grows since the beginning of their life, when you just got born and just now have a place to grow and develop, to form a regular human being, this time yourself, with all the social development inter personal and the good stuff etc how this process is excruciatingly painful and confusing, and in most cases we get absolutely no support or guidance from our culture or psychologists, what we do get is actually the opposite, were called pedophiles for some reason, we are told we will never be ourselves, that we aren't who we think we are and we're deluded, that they know better ourselves than we do, that were degenerated, ill, weird, deranged, disgusting, perversed, that we are whores, that we do it for attention when the attention is worst thing that happens to us recently, that we want to spread some ideology, our bodies are called mishapen and they point out our differences, they loudly point out the things we want to rip off from our body, we are forced into the opposite genders bathrooms where we stick out and are ashamed, into the opposite prisons where we're raped (I'm about to go into a male prison if I won't escape my country soon) into the hospital Branches of opposite gender where we are abused, pointed out, our intimacy stripped publicly in news, online debates, ourd bodies literały metaphorically stripped down and discussed by people who have no idea what they're talking about, used for politics without our consent, socially raped so to say. It's honestly paralysing, it's making you speechless, your legs weak and your mind starts to look for all the exits but there are none, it's now what your life will be and you can't do shit about that, and it can get even worse with what's seems to come in the future. Sorry for so much rambling but I'm baked as fuck and just had some trans thoughts,I hope it's not too rough

[@yupekosi]

@@maya_void3923 my names maya too :D

[@tormint5294]

​@@maya_void3923I'm so sorry and genuinely at a loss of words after reading this. It really isn't fair. I hope you keep fighting, despite how hard existence itself is fighting back each day. It's naive to say from the comfort of my phone but I want to believe that there are better days waiting for you. Days that will alleviate some of the constant struggle. I won't find the right words here but I'm wishing you the best of luck

[@JupeGiggles]

I hope that you overcome envy. Keep going I’m proud of u for keeping ur head up. Jesus loves u ❤️

[@razyboi]

"I know that I scare you, but I'm nowhere near the worst you've seen" what a good fucking line man wow

[@prod_paragon]

pretty sure its i know im nowhere the worst youve seen which is even brtter imo

[@razyboi]

​@@prod_paragon ah ur so right it definitely is!

[@ratsinpublic]

@@prod_paragon i'm a bit confused, what does this mean. the phrasing has me confused

[@prod_paragon]

⁠​⁠@@ratsinpublic i was coreecting the original commenter saying that the lyric is avtually “im nowhere near the worst youve seen”

[@MsGenesisgamer]

@@ratsinpublic That he is scared by them but them arent the worst he has seem

[@cmv928]

underscores with a label budget is unstoppable, what an amazing artist and artistic vision.

[@RaccoonSpeaks]

True I also think mom+Pop is a good label

[@emomu]

@@RaccoonSpeaks this comment made me realize how killer an underscores and porter robinson collab would be ❤

[@RaccoonSpeaks]

@@emomu oh my goodness Yess ^^

[@anxev]

@@emomutheyre gonna be on tour together in europe loll❤❤wish i could go so bad

[@emomu]

@@anxev bro same, but I'm from the states lmao 😭😭😭

[@nbtn]

i’m a semi-new underscores fan but i haven’t been this enamored with a rollout’s visuals, production, songwriting, imagery, etc etc in a really long time. i’m so excited to see where this all leads to. i am super interested in video production and these last two have been so stunning and really unlike anything i’ve ever seen

[@lucyloveskouta]

Reminds me of the time when twenty one pilots was dropping Trench. I'm enamored with Wallsocket era.

[@DIGlCO]

Returning to this MV after listening to Wallsocket a good amount really makes everything that makes this video phenomenal shine through even more. The amount of callbacks to Shoot to kill, kill your darlings and Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, deftly conveying aspects and themes from all three songs into one MV to demonstrate the collective lack of understanding people can develop towards one another based on surface level information, could only have been pulled off with an insane amount of foresight and planning. The final shot of S*nny sobbing after what she goes through is my favorite part as it especially contrasts Mara's feelings throughout this track perfectly; Mara feels S*nny doesn't know or understand who she is, when she herself doesn't fully understand S*nny, either. underscores, unsurprisingly, has done it yet again. Brilliant, compelling, subtle, and captivating. MV of the year. Wallsocket AOTY.

[@лсдкупить]

the album will hit different

[@the_boss45]

Ur just saying words

[@PurpleRegulator]

@@the_boss45 that's what communication usually entails, yeah, especially a comment section. usually to say words, yeah. you're right

[@the_boss45]

@@PurpleRegulator do you not know what I’m trying to say? That’s not how u use “hit different” im saying they don’t really know what they’re saying

[@Selfency]

@@the_boss45 Language and slang evolves with every passing day, just because you don't understand something- that doesn't mean they're the one who's wrong.

[@the_boss45]

@@Selfency white people on the internet think they own black culture and aave only someone who thinks they’re owed the world can use words from another vernacular incorrectly with good conscience and only white people would come together to defend that as they know they’re equally as guilty

[@grovemaw]

i don't know why but this song made me cry so hard. the parasocial stalker tones are obvious, but the sincerity of the vocal and the genuine sadness/loneliness hit so hard. extremely excited for this new underscores direction. hyperpop goddess and also an alt legend.

[@lummo]

EVERYBODY HAS BAD DAYS, DON'T WORRY, ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD THERE'S ALWAYS TOMORROW! YOU CAN DO IT! I'M READY TO SUPPORT YOUR NEXT EFFORT! I'M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU!

[@jhx97]

EVERYBODY HAS BAD DAYS, DON'T WORRY, ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD THERE'S ALWAYS TOMORROW! YOU CAN DO IT! I'M READY TO SUPPORT YOUR NEXT EFFORT! I'M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU!

[@jamesisbored2940]

EVERYBODY HAS BAD DAYS, DONT WORRY, ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD THERE’S ALWAYS TOMORROW! YOU CAN DO IT! I’M READY TO SUPPORT YOUR NEXT EFFORT! I’M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU!

[@gjhartist3685]

where was that sampled from? or was it original audio they made for this song?

[@wholenote1231]

​@@gjhartist3685the samples originated from the announcer in DanceDanceRevolution 4thMIX

[@haileyyyyy]

EVERYBODY HAS BAD DAYS, DON'T WORRY, ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD THERE'S ALWAYS TOMORROW! YOU CAN DO IT! I'M READY TO SUPPORT YOUR NEXT EFFORT! I'M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU!

[@y0uwish]

this album is going to go insane

[@bee_irl]

it's the new wave of the future

[@Lily-Exclamation-Point]

And then it did

[@noodletongs2664]

To me this song is someone who’s fundamentally changed throughout their life singing to their younger self.

[@blakepruneau9970]

I felt this way too!

[@GirlSlimerPainting]

3:22 That shot of the dude with the flair smoke making it look like he's lost a arm and is billowing blood is so smart and good foreshadowing that his deployment will not go as he wanted. Trans excellence on display.

[@p3rc1muz19u3]

YEAH

[@jennings4951]

I know this ties into S*nny's story but ive always visualized this song as April expressing herself of channeling another person's experience through their reflection of gender dysphoria and post-transition catharsis. I hear April looking back at her past self and as happy as she is now, she envies the innocence she used to have. She envies how things were, and she is distraught about the fact that this kid version of her will never know who she is now. This really feels established in the second bridge and then on. "Wore your clothes, took your pills, cried your makeup off and for once I felt just like you" This was a time when April and/or this character was less free, wore clothes they didnt want, didnt express themself, and took medication. As free as they are now, a part of them aches to feel that innocence again. To for once re-experience the child who hasnt gone through the trauma that they were bound to endure. This feels supported by April's production attachment to the DDR4 samples that represent this shallow form of support. Showcasing what little genuine love she and/or this character may have had at a time when they had needed it most. One of the most beautiful and complex songs in recent years. Underscores never fails to break ceilings with their expression and artistry.

[@ComandoBurrito]

been waiting a year 4 this one, Ü r literally one of my fav artists since 2020

[@MilesBunnyBoy]

So, I see a lot of people talking about how this song is about stalking and the feelings around it, but whenever I first heard it, I immediately envisioned it as being really close with someone and all of a sudden having a falling out with them. After this, you have changed and you’re watching and/or thinking about the person you used to be so close with, move on with their life. They don’t know you anymore as the person you are today and you still know everything about them. This is my personal interpretation of the song and why it resonates with me. Especially around the first time I discovered underscores this January (I wish I knew them wayyyy before this year, it’s unfortunate but oh well, still lucky to live in a lifetime I can listen to April’s music), I had been getting over my ex who I was with for almost three years (which was a vv toxic relationship to begin with), and I was just dumped by someone different I was with at the time for 2 months (November, December ish). It also resonates with me a lot because of my previous obsession issues over my first ex, and the feeling of needing to know EVERYTHING about them. I have been diagnosed with OCD, I am medicated and going to therapy, things are much better now I’m currently in a healthy relationship with someone much better

[@mcride1242]

im mc ride from the band death grips and once again i endorse this message! wallsocket? more like albumoftheyearsocket amirite!

[@manoelcastro363]

Yeah

[@13lue-27]

hi mc ride its your wife here, i just wanted to tell you your pun sucks.

[@beckl3]

holy shit mc ride from death grips

[@username-1999]

cool

[@itskae19]

Y U H!!!

[@viewsonic798]

oh my god I'm so excited for this new underscores era u have NO idea

[@notxenogenisis4336]

SHES EVOLVED SO MUCH and yet she still NAILS the aesthetic she's going for every time its insane . Both from a lyrical standpoint AND a songwriting standpoint AND the visual aspect of it all. it is Crazy

[@viewsonic798]

@Not Xenogenisis u took the words right out of my mouth, she's so unique and always manages to add that underscores spark to her music that you can recognize every time

[@xenonn_54]

yay gd player underscores fan

[@lummo]

hi four

[@hifurcatfood]

Is this the four bfb

[@joshietom]

yooo! the directing and acting in this video flows so well with the lyrics, super excited to see what direction you take us next!

[@beestings22]

The like “I think I’m in love with the cards you were dealt” fucked me up the second I heard it oh my god

[@olliemcphersonartist]

The video for this is crazy and the lyrics really hit home!! Definitely going to be listening on repeat.

[@maxyoufurry]

because of this song i felt so in touch with it.. i couldn’t stop crying from the lyrics and the voice was so perfect.. i felt this song was about that self hatred and awareness you have of it.. knowing you cant take compliments or anything nice numb to those words because your heart has light but runs cold.

[@spootjohnson4872]

100% hyped for this album and future show!!!!

[@timestamptramp]

That knowing smirk at 2:43....you're so good at portraying emotion in a genuine way. Says so much, this video. You are doing what all of us could never put into words on so many levels and songs. Hoping you're having a good today- you deserve. ❤

[@bruxism666]

god this song is viscerally relatable to me,,,, very excited for the album

[@JaneCogan05]

thats prolly not healthy

[@lottakoiravili]

dawg are you a stalker

[@randomloserdontthinkaboutit]

​@@JaneCogan05 i'm assuming they're referring to the feeling of being dissociated and distant from those around you, sort of idealizing people in your life and seeing them as more real and authentic than you. feeling as if you're watching others from afar and wishing you were like them. like, relating to deeper meaning or general human emotion in it than the very literal context of the song at least that's the aspect of it i relate to

[@bruxism666]

@@randomloserdontthinkaboutit yeah i actually didnt realize it could be read in a stalker way because i got the figurative meaning first oops

[@randomloserdontthinkaboutit]

​@@starchild199x as a certified borderline bitch i hereby declare it a BPDpilled song, intentional or not

[@bencrystalofficial]

This is so wild haha, love the dystopian claptrap AI helperbot backdrop 🤖

[@mossy1123]

something to be said about this particular song guiding us through a showcase of every story told in wallsocket. it's like we're being invited to consider how authors regard their stories. oh god is that another layer of subtext in seventy seven dog years? how does a story or the author's tending to it change now that it's been told? i'm very high

[@DjEphixa]

This one's a spooker

[@sanholobeats]

icon

[@hifurcatfood]

SAN HOLO COMMENTED AND NO ONE NOTICED????????

[@glowingfoxesunderthebed]

please never stop making music, this is so beautiful i haven’t heard anything like it

[@DEEP-WEB]

Studio version let’s goooo Also, amazing cinematography as always 🎉

[@fwurbz]

this song actually means so much to me

[@crystal_rizz]

These music videos have me going insane trying to figure out the story in the best fucking way possible oh my god

[@NolanPilgrim]

Just phenomenal

[@nifman2121]

keep your grind up ♥

[@NolanPilgrim]

@@nifman2121 🫶

[@beestings22]

I was so busy when this came out that I wasn’t here to see it premiere, but now that I’ve finally seen it… wow. Chills. Thank you April.

[@Koko-ku3io]

I dont know what i was expecting from the demo to now but its like absolutely perfect i love this so fucking much

[@adridoesthings]

this MV is insane, love it to pieces, prolly my favorite song of 2023 already

[@keebard5655]

i need to hear this song live...... also i love how layered this song is alongside its music video, so good.............

[@venny_lol]

Here it was performed live for the first time. It was amazing irl. kzbin.info/www/bejne/eoHMeYytrrSqY6c

[@Renna2004]

Underscores never disappoint ☮️

[@zzzemoji]

underscores was my most streamed artist in 2022 and will probably be the same in 2023

[@suushwin]

incredibly common underscores W, never a miss

[@epicosity1224]

it still surprises me how inspiring your music is even after like five or six years. keep rocking

[@felixgabriel5422]

I listened to this song bc I had it downloaded on vacation. I didn't know the actual meaning or anything but I always interpreted it like: The singer is a smart home AI that controls the entire house/ everything that happens around a girl's homelife and becomes obsessed with the idea of being human. This is cool too!

[@Yikesimbella]

you MUST have known how desperately i needed this apparently you know who i am better than i do

[@sul4632]

Bro the sound of this one 🥹 Its so beautifully cinematic AAAA

[@ffawn]

april imma stream this whenever i can, your songs are so comforting.

[@springsight]

this just oozes menace to me, so excited to hear what's next.

[@claynumbers]

Watching this a second time and finding the eerie hidden things in this one hit different

[@evenwhenthesunisgone]

IM READY 2 SUPPORT Ü ! LITERALLY SO EXCITED FOR THIS YOU HAVE NO IDEA

[@blackjackson11]

This is the greatest Underscores of All Time

[@averageusername.]

everybody has bad days, don't worry it's not the end of the world, there's always tomorrow you can do it I'm ready to support your next effort I'm always here for you

[@timestamptramp]

You give me chills and hold my soul. I love you.

[@ffawn]

Im addicted to these lyrics

[@idilmedia]

this is next level stuff

[@SharkeySpice]

This might be the best music video I've ever seen....

[@Weehole]

After letting the album settle for a bit there is genuinely no song that strikes me like this one. It's just absolutely gutting. One of the top comments said it's dealing with dysphoria and I couldn't agree more. I'm not trans but I do experience dysphoria regularly and every word of this song brings that forward for me. I feel like it's not even talking about stalking, it's just two versions of oneself or yourself and the image of who you'd want to be.

[@Boykotron]

Damn that tune is horrifying Sounds like end credits OST from horror movie

[@oxiary]

underscores makes timeless music

[@dyo42]

obsessed with this song lately

[@erikkumitsubashi1048]

Mandela catalog vibes with the background vocal sample on repeat.

[@timestamptramp]

I'll never get over this one.

[@uniworkhorse]

bro brought a girl home just to show off his gundam collection what a king

[@gydcki]

IT'S A GREAT AMERICAN NIGHTMARE!

[@brozzy9423]

I read this in the “it’s a new wave of the future” tone lmaooo

[@fffmpeg]

not this era

[@gydcki]

​@@fffmpeg But very suitable, especially for the trailer :р

[@BlackDeckerRiceCooker]

ITS THE FINAL WAVE OF THE END ‼️🔥

[@randomtissue]

This is actually amazing, I need more!

[@randomtissue]

Moooooooooooooooooore

[@snazzaroolu7907]

Getting to see this song performed live in portland last year was actually one of the highlights of my entire life

[@jackthehumanofficial]

ITS THE NEW WAVE OF THE FUTURE

[@noahortiz5992]

So the Events of "Johnny Johnny Johnny" happened the same night as "You don't even know who I am" Mara found the opportunity to invade s*nny's home the night the s*nny went to see Johnny. But that's just a theory, a Music Theory. XD

[@vncsmontr]

Gorgeous, shot on iPhone 15 for sure!

[@milopurpose]

this is the most excited ive been for an album ever

[@randomloserdontthinkaboutit]

i can't believe they made creep for gay people

[@phf-official]

her music videos are so fkn good ughhh

[@heyyitsbenji]

creepy song but very beautiful and striking

[@nagato2519]

Oh damn the mv is sooo good 👁👄👁

[@JimKretschmer]

this is gorgeous april

[@akubi6]

this song is a trans analogy you cant change my mind

[@conrens]

this shits crazy

[@loon2994]

Finally a song for the girlies who form parasocial relationships and then get overwhelmed by their own expectatives

[@nickstratmann9209]

Holyy that's actually a really good interpretation. I just thought that this was a song that's sung from the perspective of a stalker, but I kinda like this perspective of a parasocial relationship for the song, even if it doesn't match some of the verse lyrics

[@xxgirlb0yxx]

i LOVE hearing all the different interpretations, I read into parts of it as a continuation of the bank teller's id theft/embezzlement from the last one and other parts as someone failing to hide their inner thoughts and self in general

[@qmos]

@@nickstratmann9209 it matches perfectly with the original demo for this song

[@roboben_]

holy shit it's johnny

[@Auriniam]

I don't think I can get more excited

[@pedroantonio5565]

She's insane for this

[@helixxmusic]

whenever i have a bad day i listen to this song

[@Renna2004]

This will be awesome, #wetsocket

[@mihcael]

love the off-kilter sample chop intro

[@sapphirebunny2596]

Underscores. Damn.

[@the_angry_empath]

Was that a Salem hoodie I spotted 👀

[@day2k]

this to hard bro

[@AngelaGyetvan]

Disturbing and TOTALLY AWESOME.

[@evrton]

this song made me cry live last night :,) hits different

[@SamFranklinMusic]

wow, incredible

[@eater9494]

The sudden cut to the body pillow caught me so off guard even though I know what the context is

[@timestamptramp]

It's funny you say this because I'm currently up watching this for probably the hundredth time and that scene always speaks to me. I always took it to heart, as in those expectations you have for your partner when getting to know them and realizing their deeper, true interests/preferences/obsessions when they're alone. Could also be a nod toward the unrealistic expectations when dating trans individuals. I realize it's not that deep all while being that deep indeed. I think thats what makes this video so amazing as well, we all take so much from it and it translates to so much for us. But all that being said, what's the context? I love knowing genuine reasonings even if my own thoughts didn't fit the bill.

[@eater9494]

​@@timestamptramp think it's the former in this case since the scene is presumably showing s*nny in johnny's apartment and while it's mostly inaccurate it fits in with the "hanging right above the couch were his posters of teenage girls, oh i had made a huge mistake" line from johnny johnny johnny

[@Imgonraidurstreamlilbro]

I was looking for a song and this one got a 10% chances. Im never taking chances again

[@narlygamer4282]

Is anyone here looking into the ARG for the Wallsocket era? On the news website there is a login, but I don't know if it's for admin and to make it easier to add posts, or to find something! Please LMK if u found anything! Also, amazing song, April, and the whole city of wallsocket and the ARG is so creative and I love it!

[@shanithezimhoni]

join the underscord!! lots of lore talk and cool people

[@narlygamer4282]

@@shanithezimhoni THANK YOUUU, I was going to see if there was a discord the other week and then it completely slipped out of my mind!

[@angelcastaneda4326]

I love this song so much

[@Digital_Angels]

this is actually amazing.

[@blysghost6973]

3:44 *SEVERAL HIDDEN SHOTS TO THE CHEST*

[@pdudOG]

Broooo how did I not see that before

[@rwrunning1813]

I have no idea what I just watched, but I bet I'll figure it out eventually.

[@Johnfree]

I am SO HYPE

[@zaucepan]

we love underscores

[@kirbyusbwarmer]

that gundam scene way too familiar to me 😨

[@wishes_._]

Well I'm excited for this album

[@damagesuppressor]

this is so cool

[@aitsailerev]

Album going to be crazy (as usually)