Understanding the Roots of Your Gender Dysphoria

[@lilacreed2799]

My gender dysphoria didn’t stem from anything I’ve always had it. It’s so much deeper than being insecure about your body. When I reached puberty I felt as if I were growing out of myself while others were growing in. By 15 I was ready to die bc of how much I hated myself and thought there was something wrong with me, I was better off dead than being forced to live a lie. By 17 I had 5+ suicide attempts. Sometimes I see guys my age and all I can think about is that that is suppose to be me, but it will never ever happen. Some days are so bad I end up changing my outfit so many times, because all I can see is my feminine body. It’s disgusting to me, I’m repulsed at what I see in the mirror, it’s foreign it strange it’s weird. If I think about it too much I get claustrophobic and feel as if I’m gonna have a panic attack, like I want to rip the skin off my flesh. WHY WAS I BORN THIS WAY? IT ISNT FAIR? that’s what it’s like to be trans, would not be alive if I wasn’t able to transition. I’ve just always had it.

[@evan_j]

You are right, it isn't fair. I hope transitioning has improved your life.

[@melodyrachel]

Hey. Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to feel such a deep disconnect with your body and to go through so much pain. And it's great transitioning helped you. It seems to be the right thing for some people and not others.. definitely a difficult conversation to navigate for sure

[@MariaWitlof]

❤ Also should've mentioned trauma, (SA and/or other trauma leading to identity issues). But especially for us girls/women there's this shared trauma of being objectified by men from a young age. You hear lots of trans identified- and detrans women about this. Puberty is not fun for anyone, of course. But it def added to my dysphoria. I was only a kid in the body of a young woman...

[@melodyrachel]

Thanks Maria ❤

[@evan_j]

Every person's experience is important but please don't use them to make generalisations. Correlation does not mean causation and in most cases, affirmation of internal gender experience is the only thing that has lasting positive outcomes.

[@melodyrachel]

Heya! Thanks for engaging, I feel everyone's story is important and different for sure. this is mainly just Maria's perspective :)