My Traumatizing LDS Bishop Interview Experience - Kayla Mikesell

[@TheShodan92]

And the Mormon church washes its hands regarding youth suicides from guilt shaming.

[@shelbyorr7187]

This is such a sad story but I am impressed at the mom’s ability to admit her mistakes and support her daughter now.

[@erincowart384]

Can we talk about the fact that these types of interviews continue in to adulthood??!!! I was 42 and dragged in to a bishop's office where I was questioned about being seen with a man other than my husband early one morning supposedly coming out of a hotel. Supposedly another member reported it and told the bishop that my husband and I were in an open relationship! I denied it since none of it was true, but the idea that my bishop felt he had the right to ask about my sex life and that some troll of member felt the need to lie on me was horrifying, embarrassing and inappropriate!

[@markcavandish1295]

Right?!?!

[@1955porsche]

these are all signs its a sick disturbed cult.......

[@michelereber8680]

This is so disgusting. And I am so sorry to any woman or man that has had to go through 'interviews' like this young lady had to go through.

[@emilyacoxpsychic]

I am genetically and biologically an intersexed hermaphrodite and I also just went through a very traumatizing experience with the bishop and president. I am completely straight and heterosexual male, but I was ostracized and traumatized by the church just recently for the past four weeks due to my biological condition

[@carolhensley9060]

The only one you have to confess your sins to is GOD! NO ONE ELSE!

[@knittingnana2939]

If some 70 year old man pulled a 14 year old girl into a room alone with him and then proceeded to ask her sexually explicit questions, he would be arrested and labeled a pedophile . But these dirty old men are legally allowed to do this under the guise of the church. There needs to be legal ramifications for things like this , don't let them hide behind the church.

[@Mr2blue2]

My thoughts exactly! The decent bishop would have a mature woman handle this part of the process. This is mental/emotional sexual molestation of a minor. You can bet the Only reason it was handled like this was because the bishop was getting off on it. Just wait until the lawsuits start coming out in mass. That 120 Billion might just evaporate. The LDS church has defrauded the faithful out of billions of dollars while abusing them. Everything done in the darkness is being brought to light.

[@workermannamrekrow2768]

Mormonism is so entrenched in certain areas. As a former Mormon I just want to vomit.

[@BD-1-And-Only]

Agreed, but we also need to place partial blame on the piece of fucking shit mother. She’s literally gleefully gloating about destroying her daughters self worth. At 5:51 she’s SMILING when talking about her daughter being suicidal. Disgusting!!!

[@jrtodd-br4zc]

Ironically enough, the desire to vomit appears to be the actual Christian response to sexual abuse of minors. The lds church is anti Christ. What this young women is describing that happened to her with this bishop, who is a sorry excuse for a human, is the antithesis of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

[@foxibot]

I agree you can’t tell me they don’t get off on that.

[@brutalhonesty5699]

Explain to me how a GROWN MAN asking detailed sex questions, or questions about masturbation to a MINOR is not legally considered "improper conduct with a minor"? And why its not considered sexual harassment toward an adult?

[@atrain84]

I’d be horrified too. My dad would not be. My dad MADE my sister go to the bishop at 16 and “confess” to what happened. And the creep wanted explicit details. I had no idea for years how graphic his questions were. No wonder my sister left the church THAT day and moved out before she finished high school. My sister was strong. And is now even stronger 30 years later! Screw these awful old men and the mormon church.

[@bearcat2020]

Correct

[@marjoriegarner5369]

I left the church at age 35, for reasons like the abuse shown in this video, and other reasons. I was harmed and damaged by the trauma for most of my life. I'm just beginning to heal....at almost 81 years old. The truths about abuse by the Mormon patriarchy are beginning to come to light through podcasts like these. But it's wrong that so many had to suffer for so long. It's sick and wrong that so many have had to suffer for so long, but I'm so grateful that the abuses of Mormonism, Catholicism and other cults, such as Scientology....is finally being exposed. Greetings from a great grandmother in beautiful Montana.

[@chelseaoocandy]

When I was 16 my bishop asked me if I was "morally clean" I said yes. He then asked if I touch myself and I'm thinking... Wouldn't you like to know you sicko? I was visibility upset and told him no. I remember telling him how I had a problem with how the church handles homosexuality as well, because I felt that they don't choose to be that way. Then he asks me if I'm gay. (I'm not I just have empathy asshole) That was one of the last straws for me. I'm now 37.

[@Fashn4LaDieS]

Our former bishop asked a friend of mine's 16 year -old daughter, if she had hormones. She said, "If you're asking if I'm mentally balanced, yes."

[@jordanalexander8099]

Members, if you believe in the church, that’s great. But stop giving bishops this amount of power. This is disgusting. These conversations should not be taking place, especially between a 14 year old girl.

[@scottbrandon9390]

This was in Utah. It doesn't surprise me from the stories I've heard about wards in that state. It is frowned upon in my stake area to deal with an issue like this. In fact I have never heard of it in any bishoprics I was counsellor. A 14 year old would have a parent present at the very least, if they even took any action at all.

[@mitchrichardson744]

@@scottbrandon9390 This is not just a Utah thing.I was asked the same inappropriate questions in my youth by Bishops outside Utah.

[@JB-xx3vp]

Same here. The same explicit questions in Washington, Oregon, and Utah. I’ll say it here- grown married men with no relevant expertise have no business having sexually explicit conversations with teenage girls. It’s disgusting.

[@imoutbye]

Any of the “leadership”. They are laymen with day jobs taking on physcholpgis, family and marriage counsellor, spiritual guru, speaker, charismatic leader, fun guy, manager, lost goes on. They are not trained for this. They might be an real estate agent or dentist by day. These guys, can easily be ruining lives. And no they are not called by or inspired by god. I know some of these guys who were weren’t temple worthy themselves

[@imoutbye]

@stephen miller I'm talking about bishops who I know personally very unworthy of the temple. Not tithing, although that's bullshit too. maybe you missed the point. It's one huge lie anyways. and it's dangerous.

[@slotsluts]

I'm in tears right now because I literally feel like I'm watching my exact story come out of a strangers mouth! I feel this so deeply and it's oddly comforting to know that I'm not alone. Irreversible damage has been done to so many of us!!!

[@markcavandish1295]

Absolutely right.

[@michelereber8680]

I'm so sorry you went through this. ❤

[@emilyacoxpsychic]

I am genetically and biologically an intersexed hermaphrodite and I also just went through a very traumatizing experience with the bishop and president. I am completely straight and heterosexual male, but I was ostracized and traumatized by the church just recently for the past four weeks due to my biological condition

[@PuzzleBomb]

I'm so sorry this happened to you, Natasha! Unfortunately, the Jesus of Mormonism isn't Jesus. I just want to encourage you that the damage isn't irreversible. I serve in a healing and deliverance ministry and see Jesus heal all kinds of horrible wounds people have gone through. There's no wound too traumatic that He can't heal, and these events don't have to affect your soul. Blessings!

[@GlitteranGold]

I’m so sorry please leave that church nobody deserves to go through something traumatic and uncalled for immature behaviour. God loves you and these bishops and leaders that are doing this will be very sorry when they face God.

[@monkeysluvdani]

I’m so glad that her parents can see how they hurt her and admit to it. I WISH my parents could recognize and just acknowledge what they did and understand that it wasn’t okay instead of behaving as if I’m remembering it wrong.

[@telestialtrash]

Yes. This.

[@joekent5868]

My parents tell me ALL the time that I don’t remember it correctly or refuses to agree to basic facts. The culture has created a toxic culture, purity culture is the leading reason why I left. I’m raising a 3 year old little girl and I’ll die before I influence her to this culture and allow her to believe these things.

[@pechaa]

Your parents are gaslighting you. Such a practice can be harder to bear than the original traumas. You are right. They are wrong.

[@1pearblossom]

I can relate. Similar stuff happened to me a long time ago. To this day my parents see me as the black sheep. Not that they say it directly, but nothing that I ever do in life or don't do will ever be good enough because I don't believe in their religion. What I wish I could tell them and my mormon relatives is that the main reason I hate their church is because of them, for not being there for me when I have needed them in my life. Instead, they took their brainwashed mormon brains to constantly criticize me and put me down all my life. That's no way to live. One day I hope to move far from them as they are just plain toxic.

[@rosemariecardin4385]

I pray for you and hope someday you will see the light and get out of that cult you are in. I pray you find peace thru Jesus Christ. Find a Christian church that teaches true Christianity. Jesus loves you.

[@China-Clay]

How do we get to a point in our lives where we let a bishop be God? This is so sad, and so disgusting. One thing I’ve learned, I need NO ONE between me and God. Thank you Kayla!

[@kasualbeauty309]

We don’t. Educate yourself. This is not a typical scenario. And is not condoned by our church. Bad people exist in every single walk of life. Every religion and every race. This is a very unusual LDS experience. Sacrament is repentance. This is exaggerated by this kid for sure. I can assure you this is not a Mormon thing vs a specific person thing.

[@miguelthealpaca8971]

@@kasualbeauty309 But the church still asks if they're keeping the law of chastity which is already inappropriate, even without the more probing questions.

[@martinandersen9810]

@@miguelthealpaca8971 We all make mistakes. Lets face it. Satan places many obstacles in our path to thwart our coming nearer to God and achieving our full and true potential, and we all experience giving in to his enticements now and then. We need to stop looking upon confession to a Bishop as a bad thing. He can help you get through it, and to get past it. It is a step in the repentance process for serious sins. It is a tremendous blessing to have a Bishop to whom you can confess your serious transgressions, and thereby free yourself from carrying that heavy baggage of guilt around with you. He will oftimes help you come up with a plan to fortify your defences where they have been weak in the past. Yes it is difficult to unload your burden, and possibly embarrassing initially, but doing so can help you to get past it and to stop making the same mistake over and over. Just repent. It can be a blessing.

[@gregorjerman973]

@@kasualbeauty309 This what happens when you don't do background checks and proper training and the BS foundation from scriptures that "Whom the Lord calls the Lord qualifies", let's stop the culture of infamy and mediocrity .

[@mitchrichardson744]

@@kasualbeauty309 stuff like this went on when I was growing up in the church. Pretty much exactly. I still see it happening.

[@Lady_Katie]

I come from a fundamentalist Christian background. I went through something kind of similar. When I was in high school I came home from hanging out at a friends house to find my living room filled with all the women and pastor from my church. Apparently, they were there to give me an intervention because my mom read in my journal about me fooling around sexually with a boy I was seeing. They had my diary out and were reading it aloud to show me what a bad person I was. I was 17 and he was the first person I had ever been sexual with. I was beyond mortified and had to keep attending church with all of those women. After this happened I started cutting and using drugs just to numb the pain. My heart goes out to anyone who has had to go through these kinds of scenarios. It’s hard to heal from and I’m still working on getting past the religion-induced abuse I endured. Peace to everyone. Let’s make the world a better place.

[@scottbrandon9390]

That awful to have happened to you. I would have died with embarrassment if I came home to an intervention like you describe. I heard that Jehovah's Witnesses have something like a "court" where they disfellowship a person and then announce across the pulpit to the whole congregation the person was kicked out. Then they are "shunned" in that no one (not even family) are supposed to talk to the person.

[@dodgerdave777channel]

Great point and it reminds me of a scene in a movie involving do the Amish people wear one of their Bishops as I believe he was still called was brought in to be the authority on a family matter which divided the family ultimately do to this ecclesiastical intervention where so much Authority was vested in the man of God as they are called. The 1st Amendment to the Constitution of the United States needs to be amended to Grant freedom from religion

[@e14eodell]

Your mom should of just sat down with you and talk to you personally.

[@deboraholsen2504]

This is unbelievably terrible! I’m so sorry you had to go through this! Was handled so inappropriately! Don’t worry because God still loves and values you! Sure, He wants us to keep His commandments, but He knows we’re all here, just learning! You are a daughter of God, and He loves you dearly! 🥰

[@brutalhonesty5699]

If I came home to that, I would shame THEM, because it is shameful to violate people. I'd say, "Ok, first of all, put that book down RIGHT NOW, because a person's deep, inner thoughts are just as intimate as their private areas, and NOBODY except NOBODY has the right to violate someone intimately. That's basically a psychological form of rape. So give my book back RIGHT now. It does not belong to you, so what makes you think you have any right to read it? Don't say its because you 'felt like you had to know what was going on'. Because if you had a decent bond with me in the first place, then I would feel comfortable being honest and confiding in you. But you don't have a good bond with me, and that's your own fault! By the way, if you thought our bond was weak before, its ten times weaker now. Don't ever expect me to trust you again."

[@RB-zh1eq]

This. Needs. To. Stop. Thank you for being so open. Because of my situation, I am silenced. But I hope this reaches thousands of people.

[@dodgerdave777channel]

Dude I hope that you are doing awesome! I hope that someday soon things change in your home for the better and you can live completely authentically without threat due to your knowledge and convictions of the truth about the LDS Church oh, I wish I had seen this before I passed through Salt Lake recently and maybe we could have met up for a cobra coffee or something anyway all the best to you and yours

[@hansonfamilyfunlifeadventu397]

I am so sorry you went through this lack of caring and disgusting behavior from the bishop and your parents. I was also treated and shamed the same way by my bishop, ward, and family. I just barely at 42 dealt with the trauma with the help of Mormom stories amd not feeling alone with my very supportive husband. Needless to say it drove me away from the church at 16 and I am forever grateful for that! Much love and support to you! You did nothing wrong, you deserve happiness.

[@kayleejex8163]

For any members of the church watching this and thinking the bishop was just a 'bad apple'. Read the comments. This is not a unique situation. Also, even if the bishop only asks the one question without probing - "Do you keep the law of chastity?". That is still a sexually related question being asked by an adult to a MINOR. That sort of behavior is widely condemned in society, yet members accept it here. If you think this is okay, you need to step back and check your morality.

[@psmith535]

I disagree. I think it’s completely fine to ask if someone is keeping the law of chastity. If it was me I would then go into a little more detail, that sexuality is important, that sexual feelings are good, and that the sexual thoughts and feelings that people have are completely OK. All young people have sexual thoughts and feelings, they need to understand that it’s OK and that a sexual relationship should be looked forward to in the future. I would do my best to help the person understand why Chasity is so important. I would also encourage them to look forward to the day when they could share their sexual thoughts, feelings and desires with their future mate. I’ve always thought these interviews were to be used as a springboard to help get an individual comfortably back on track. I think a lot of bishops don’t understand their role here is not to cause pain and suffering but it’s an opportunity to help an individual with the hardest trauma they’ve dealt with this far in their life. Guilt is important, guilt is what notifies us that change needs to be made. Shame on the other hand is never a good thing.

[@kayleejex8163]

@@psmith535 That response was a little cringe worthy. An unrelated adult has no business asking that or discussing that. It's parents who are responsible for those conversations. And chastity is only important if that individual thinks it's important. It's a personal choice and any religious entity needs to stay out of that business, especially with a minor. If someone decides to seek help because they need it, they should go to trained professionals, not the local dentist who thinks they have some sort of authority over someone's soul or salvation. Also, guilt should only be expected to be felt when someone hurts another or the world around them. This toxic guilt that the church teaches people they MUST feel for ANY sort of sexual impulse outside of marriage is incredibly damaging. 'Sexual purity' has been nothing but a control tactic for religions forever. Teach kids proper sex ed and to make the right choices when THEY are ready, not when the church says they're ready.

[@emilyacoxpsychic]

I am genetically and biologically an intersexed hermaphrodite and I also just went through a very traumatizing experience with the bishop and president. I am completely straight and heterosexual male, but I was ostracized and traumatized by the church just recently for the past four weeks due to my biological condition

[@Mediumkate547]

This is exactly the reason why I left the church and my boyfriend is exploring it and I told him if he’s going to join I can’t be with him. It’s just too traumatic

[@trishayamada807]

Good for you! I got married hoping he would change, he didn’t. We ended up divorced. Maybe there are better people who can manage that, but we could not. Oddly enough he’s been divorced two more times and I’ve been happily married for 15 with three amazing children. Don’t hope he will change. It’s hard enough to change ourselves! We can’t expect a person to change for us. Good luck and please be kind to yourself. You are worth it! 💖

[@marleymae6746]

I’m so sorry, that this young lady was publicly shamed for a natural part of growing up.

[@JennifertheRoofer]

The same thing happened to me. I absolutely know exactly what you went through. I'm now 42 and I am in therapy for how I was treated at 15 in the church. The shame is finally going away. It haunted me for so long. I stopped going to church when I was 20 but my whole family is still very active. We are a family of 6 generation lds. I'm so happy I stumbled upon this video

[@davidl2438]

I am not Mormon but I am shocked. This situation needed to be handled privately, with understanding and compassion. Shaming does not work. It can leave lasting scars on this young lady or anyone experiencing a situation such as this. My heart goes out to this family.

[@KidsandKittens217]

@David L Thank you for your words. This goes on all over the world in Mormon Churches. Shaming is a BIG part of Mormonism.

[@marjoriegarner5369]

Yes, I went through this , and suffered, even still, at age 81. Needless to say, I left the church, but they would not leave me alone for many years, even sending "elders" to my door to threaten and scare me, after my divorce from my abusive Mormon ex husband. My self esteem was destroyed, and peace of mind was hard to find. Podcasts like these can help those who suffer. As Jesus said, "Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free ";

[@saffronhammer7714]

Exactly how the JWs elders conduct their Judicial Committees. And it is the same reasoning, damage and trauma --no matter the age. Disgusting and inexcusable.

[@Fashn4LaDieS]

So do Amish, & Pentecostal oneness.

[@johnmichael1291]

For me growing up in salt lake being a mixed race kid and going to church was horrible dealing with racism and always being called the N word etc and being told Im not wanted!!! these are just some of the reasons my family left the church!!!

[@ThunderTaker1215]

That’s fucked up. I’m so glad you and your family found a way out and I hope you’re doing okay ❤️

[@JonathanMulderMarston]

Dude that's messed up! I grew up in happy valley, and I am mixed too (mestizo). I got the more spanish end of our families gene pool, but my sister looks native american. I remember my sister telling me about the bs things people called her (the disgusting n word, amongst others). A lot of this came from our own caucasian relatives. It's not surprising given the churches "doctrine" about people of african descent - which is straight up evil, imo. I am glad your family left the church. You and yours deserve better!!✌🖖

[@KidsandKittens217]

@@JonathanMulderMarston I'm very sorry you've been so cruelly treated by people who claim to be "the Lord's people" which they obviously aren't. I hope you've been able to stay completely away from the Mormon Church. I know my life has been so much better since I left the Mormon corridor (UT, ID, etc). Regular Americans are much better people.

[@bonsummers2657]

I can't imagine people were calling you a nigger in the USA in a sinister way, especially within a religion-environment. Did people tell you they didn't want you because of your racial typing? And, yes we all know: many Blacks call each other nigga in an endearing nonchalant way. Manner of behavior is the most key thing. And yes, people have ethno-racial-cultural preferences for close associations,… but most valued characteristics are the matters of: style, personality, behavior, and valued talents.

[@twilde3754]

As a non-member I had to have a bishop's interview when I applied to BYU for college. I was asked very explicit, personal sexual questions, which I couldn't have cared less about at the time. When I got to BYU I was AMAZED at my roommates and dorm mates who were PREOCCUPIED with sex. Whispers and giggles and stories about "what they heard about sex" -- so ridiculous. I didn't last long at BYU, not because of sexual activity, but I didn't fit it.

[@savantianprince]

BYU is a cult indoctrination university.

[@youreperfectstudio4789]

Amazed at that mom able to admit where she messed up 😮😮

[@yeshalloween]

My mom would NEVER (and hasn’t for 25 years)

[@betsyh403]

Except she doesn’t really does she she’s kind of half assed with it

[@travelertrash1153]

The saddest part about it all is that young mormon girls have sexual experiences young because they are forced upon us then we don’t know how to stand up for ourselves against men. We aren’t taught to be confident, only that we have to do whatever men want to be loved and accepted. I’m so glad I finally had my records removed. I didn’t realize how deep it affected my life. How can we even know who we really are after that?

[@wynnter1973]

I have PTSD from my bishop and parents. My bishop attempted a sexual act on me at 16. My parents told me not to tell anyone because, no one would believe me. I felt disgusting. At 21, I had sex with my fiancé. I survived my parents livid disappointment. I was called everything from slut to whore by my mother. She screamed at me thru my bedroom door for weeks. I was thrown in front of my father and told I was a disappointment. I learned I was pregnant and she tried to hit me in my stomach to maybe abort the baby, but I blocked her. I am so grateful to my hubby because we eloped and I got out of the situation. Of course, the bishop called me in and I had to be judged to be able to remain in the church. I’m pretty messed up. I’m 48 and my parents still don’t accept my husband.

[@AtOmicInfamous]

hopefully you're both out of the cult now

[@nicolatesla5786]

This may shock you but did you know there is NO RELIGION in heaven? yes, I have interview 30-50 near death experience survivors. These are people who clinically died on the operating table, from a fall, from a car accident, from attempted murder or any thing that stops the heart for a short time. They say being out of body is full of live. Some NDE survivors were briefly in the Void or Hell or earth bound "floating in the operating room like my moms cousin" but they all say there is no religion. God and Jesus has been seen some have hugged him. They see light beings that are spirits with no faces. They see Angels that are huge and wear cloaks. All spirits radiate light. Dont need religion to join the happy club, just be a good person to loves people.

[@AtOmicInfamous]

@@nicolatesla5786 ok

[@KidsandKittens217]

@Barbara Wynn My heart is aching for you. What you experienced is what the Church teaches its people to do and how to behave. It's just so cruel. I hope you moved far away to someplace with very few Mormons.

[@1pearblossom]

I'm in my 40's and now I see the trauma my family caused me. Specifically my parents. They were not there for me when I really needed them--instead I have received criticism and put downs all my life. I live everyday knowing that their disappointment towards me was due from the brainwashing in the church. They never got over me not making the "right" decisions even though I was just being a normal person. They held me to a super high standard with super high expectations according to church dogma. I am a good a person and very normal and yet they cannot get passed the fact that I will never amount to anything in their lives. It is what it is. I hope to someday move far.

[@Gideonslc]

In the context of what Russell M Nelson said yesterday in General Conference about abuse I will note that children & teenagers aren't really taught boundaries in the religion. The conditioning [grooming] is to accept the demands / calls of religious leaders and there's not a religiously prescribed opportunity for the lay member in any circumstance to say "No. You're out of bounds- I'm done- I'm not answering..." And that's one BIG edit with the new "For The Strength of the Youth" manual that must still be made: "Bishop's, Stake Presidents, and other leaders aren't trained professional counselors. If you aren't ready to discuss something with them, don't want to discuss something, or reach a point in discussion where you are done, or don't want to answer, then you have that right to not answer. You have that right to say no. You have that right to leave and not be compelled to stay by that leader, your parents, or any other adult. You have the right to address any problems that arise separately with licensed professional counselors, appropriately law enforcement, and other resources appropriate to the situation completely separate of the church if that is what you desire." It's just as applicable for any adult regardless of gender. What is agreed to behavior by both parties in a marriage is completely out of bounds for religious authority to question or advise.

[@imoutbye]

“The church should’ve fixed it, but it didn’t. It just made it even worse”. Sums it up. Mormonism.

[@deboraholsen2504]

Mark, that’s untrue. I’m so sorry you’ve had bad experiences.

[@imoutbye]

@@deboraholsen2504 It's untrue? how can you even make that claim? If you live in the Mormon bubble maybe it's a little safer there. I'm quoting what he said, and many of us have had this experience. And it make sense because Joseph Smith made this all up and we've tried to apply very old way's of thinking based on bullshit.

[@OmniphonProductions]

I grew up a non-Mormon in Sandy, Utah. I'm now 45, and my mom only recently learned that I came _very_ close to suicide in junior high. Life was _that_ hard as an someone _outside_ the LDS Church in Utah. I can only _imagine_ how hard it is to be treated as an outsider while being stuck _inside_ (especially knowing many of your peers are, in fact, lying hypocrites).

[@merricat3025]

I can't imagine living in Mormon Utah or Idaho

[@MPOLLACCHI1]

Of our fifty states, Utah would be the last state I would consider living in.

[@OmniphonProductions]

@@MPOLLACCHI1 Tough call. Texas and Florida are a nightmare right now, primarily because Evangelical Christians and MAGA Republicans are running the show. In Related News, MS, LA, AL, MO, AR, SC, TN, MD, IL, and NM (in that order) are the Top 10 per capita murder rate states. 8 of those 10 are Republican strongholds. 7 of those 10 are Bible Belt states. 7 of those 10 (not the exact same 7) are also currently in the Top 10 for mass shootings. As such, even with my traumatic history, I can't say that Utah is the _last_ place I'd want to live. However, I can say that _if_ I ever moved back, I'd have to do so _without_ my wife, so...not happenin'!!!

[@ninjapegasus3009]

I feel seen & heard. I went through these very same things with a bishop, LDS counselor that shared private info with my parents who judged me, punished me and never took the time to listen, and ending up suicidal. I’m 25 and still struggling to find the light for my tunnel

[@KidsandKittens217]

@NinjaPegasus300 I sure hope you've been able to move somewhere where there are not very many Mormons. I did, & have stayed completely away from the Mormon Church & it has made my life so very much better. I hope you are doing better now and I want you to know I am rooting for your success!

[@foxibot]

Mormon parents have lost their ability to talk to their own children, and should come to talk to them alone and in private without any weird bishop or church member interfering and say “honey we are just concerned you could get a STI or get pregnant at an age when you are still a child.. we are doing this because we love you, not to punish you or cause you shame. You must understand it’s our job to keep you safe. Some boys may try and take advantage of you or tell you they love you because they are feeling a strong sexual drive because of their hormones. Sex is natural and beautiful but we just want you to wait until you are more mature and able to handle it and we also want you to be in a monogamous safe relationship where you are respected and loved.” Feel free to use my words if you don’t have your own.

[@maisyrae4967]

This is really important for me to hear, hearing such a similar story to mine. I was punished to this extent for having a boyfriend from when I was 14-17, but we never even had sex it was just the fact that I was in a serious steady relationship before I was 16/an adult. I was kicked out of my home in order to move schools away from my boyfriend at the time, ripped away my friends and the person I loved most at the time. I had gotten incredibly suicidal and completely isolated myself at my new school for at least a year. My mother never gave me privacy, space, or any option to make my own choices. I haven't watched the whole interview but I'm glad that the mother has at least come around and recognized her mistakes, my mother never did that nor apologized.

[@daveyork0]

.. and the two of you?

[@drnmedia]

Thank you John for bringing this information to the public. This isn't the only time we've heard that kids have been asked sexually explicit questions of teenagers. You mentioned the intent of the church and I understand what you're saying but doesn't it seem like borderline pedophile behavior? I know that sounds extreme but it seems like there should be some legal avenue to bring charges against Bishops or whoever that does this type of thing.....behind closed doors. Shaming doesn't work no matter who is doing it.

[@JonathanMulderMarston]

This goes to show that while the lds church abuses gender and sexual minorities - it the does the same thing to their youth and their membership in general. I grew up in Provo, UT/the mormon church during the 80's. I remember one friend telling me that when she went through a similar experience as this woman did - that the bishop questioned her in such a way that it gave her the impression he was attempting to get material for masturbatory purposes later. I am so glad that because I am as queer as a three dollar bill, I stopped going to church before I experienced any of this, or the weirdness of the masonic temple rituals.🤢😡

[@marilynkozlow8400]

What??? 14???? That Bishop would be picking himself up off the floor toothless if that was my daughter. Disgusting!!!!!!!’

[@308W82]

This story is mind-boggling! How people can put up with that cult-like behavior of a Bishop interfering in a family's private business is absolutely incomprehensible! How in the world are these old men allowed to do this? Psychological difficulties, severe ones where even suicide can be the result,, should be dealt with by psychologists -- not some Church Bishops! Sad, pathetic and appalling.

[@xx_mojat_xx]

As a disallusioned member of this cult/high demand relgion/whatever you want to call it - I understand your confusion. But you really dont know what its like if you havent grown up with the accumilated years of indoctrination to be obedient to your superiors. Your brain is literally hardwired to the mormon worldview. Its so hard to leave, and even those who do, have years of mental and emotional reconditioning to do before they are completely free. Those looking in from the outside will not understand or appreciate how hard it is

[@travelertrash1153]

All of us mormon girls went through this abuse 😔 very hard to ever feel comfortable after that trauma.

[@jackburton307]

Abuse? You are just made about consequences for your actions and find comfort in being a victim. You're not.

[@jermocha]

@@jackburton307wtf are the actions that need consequences

[@jackburton307]

@@jermocha immorality sin.... something that you wouldn't understand

[@jermocha]

@@jackburton307 why the fuck wouldn’t i understand a sin in mormonism is taking a sip of fucking coffee i sin all the fucking time according to them. having sex is not a sin and morality is based on your own beliefs. i believe that as long as you are a kind person who doesn’t like murder or hurt anyone you are doing great! don’t push your fucking beliefs on anyone dude, it’s not cool

[@LibRoseITM]

Yup, I went to my Bishop after telling him in a note that I watched porn and he didn't punish me, he didn't ask for any details, we just had a normal conversation about how I was doing. It was so nice, and it really helped my relationship with the church, it made me feel closer to God. So punishments definitely do NOT work!!

[@paulw2117]

Yeah. Some Bishop's are cool and some are idiots.

[@mariatheresaguzman6410]

You don't need the bishop reaction. Just wait the consequence of your confession. That's the punishment.

[@jeffs4483]

No need to tell anyone that.

[@betsyh403]

It’s good to know that they are good. Bishops out there I guess what’s sad is that they seem very few and far between.

[@Fashn4LaDieS]

The church has a porn addiction recovery program, now, & I'm amazed at our former bishop telling me, that porn runs rampant in the church, these days. I had thought LDS ppl were immune.

[@Ann-xp9np]

This is horrific to put a 14 year old through.

[@telestialtrash]

This is so wrong on so many levels. I am so sorry you experienced this. I too experienced “forced repentance” and it is so very shaming and traumatic.

[@delindasowder9120]

This breaks my heart for Kayla - oh my gosh. You’re so smart, beautiful and so worthy Kayla! Never again let anyone tell you any different!!

[@gibb_farmer113]

Just got listening to this podcast, my heart goes out to you both! Mormon stories and Natasha Helfer helped me so much to deconstruct Mormonism and the unhealthy relationships it creates

[@abi1021]

The mom saying the fact that she was suicidal sounded like a “tactic” makes me so upset. I am not religious but I have been suicidal in my life and when people treat it like I just want attention or I should “just cheer up” cuz it’s a bummer to them (people in my own family), it is so unbelievably lonely and unfair.

[@chasingamurderer]

Well.. we all have bad days, we all cry. To be suicidal because your life is not as you dreamed it to be is a tatic. There are people who do not have good health, they suffer all day everyday, they fight to live. Suicide are rarely a real outcome. Suicidal, ' giving up easy' is everywhere. If ever you feel suicidal, it is because you feel a lone a few says or months, this is a place you need to find joy in yourself and appreciate breathing. It can be much worse.

[@boarder55535]

And other members will say it’s not the whole church. But it’s funny how I hear it happing all the time, myself included

[@derektilley669]

Thank you so much for posting videos like this. My kids are still made to endure these ridiculous interviews but I can show them your videos and warn them of what could happen. I’ve given them my permission to tell a bishop to F off and walk out if the questions get inappropriate. This podcast has been so helpful to me and my family. Please don’t stop.

[@deboraholsen2504]

Why teach your kids to be inappropriate, rude, and disrespectful? They can walk out without being that way. What do you think a bishop gains from this? Nothing. He is not compensated in any monetary way, and he also works a full time job to support his family. Being a bishop requires many extra hours of his time, which could not be too fun! You’d be better off teaching your kids to treat others how they want to be treated, which is seldom easy, but teaching them to disrespectful is not going to help them as individuals in the long run.

[@coffeecake8835]

Derek Tilley. I truly intend no disrespect, but why would you even allow, let alone. “endure” these types of interviews. Why not outright decline them? That strikes me as the more mature, and appropriate response. And, yes, I was raised staunch LDS. I no longer believe in any of it. It’s child’s play to dissemble all of Joseph Smith’s stories.

[@trishayamada807]

I’m a mom and I just could never publicly shame my children. Shame is truly evil; it’s never from love as it’s meant to control. My heart breaks. Good people will do good things, bad people will do bad things, it takes something like religion to get good people to do bad things.

[@chasingamurderer]

You just publicly shamed other ppl. So maybe you could

[@trishayamada807]

@@chasingamurderer omg. Yeah, the words I just wrote were humiliating? To exactly whom? Did I use names? Did I call out a specific individual? If you are feeling humiliated over my words then perhaps you are the genetic people I was meaning. Right?

[@chasingamurderer]

@trishayamada807 it takes something like religion to do bad things? Religion was designed to teach people to.try and do their best. Sadly, like every group in the world, ppl take advantage of it. We desire power, as people. We desire to be a know it all. We desire to do well for ourselves. We expect people to understand our thoughts are the best. Religion has done more good for people than bad. Its judgment and narcissistic ppl who ruin everything. Saint Judes is amazing!Thanks religion! Childrens hunger fund! Salvation Army! Your surroundings is what you make it. No matter where you fit in. So yea. No I am not religious. But be respectful to others. Gez

[@KatieKat75]

Oh, I hate it. In a similar situation, I felt that one of the bishop’s counselors was so inquisitive and his line of questioning felt completely sick and almost gloating to me. The Bishop had to call him off. Humiliating and disgusting. So hard.

[@wjo602]

It can happen at 37 and I did that interview with a Stake Pres. that asked tons of deep personal questions and especially details of the events that went way too far. I felt anger and hatred for that man for quite some time. The shame and guilt were put on high octane. Not good for human emotional progress.

[@dwightlilly4208]

The problem she had stems from being involved in a cult that put's it'sself between it's members and God. The church has replaced God in the lives of it's members, the church system is apostate, and the members harmed in the process. I would have advised her to turn and run as fast as she could away from that church and anybody in her life that follows their disasterous program. Thank's John for continuing with these bradcasts as they do help bring an end to this cult.

[@jfschmidt84]

As a man with 3 daughters I can’t fathom doing that to a woman. Really disgusting!

[@estevencamacho]

This young lady went through hell. All my last bishop did was turn his back on me and being disabled did not help. It was like they wanted nothing more to do with me because someone I thought I could trust with my sexuality would stab my back. It's been four years now and I have never gone back to either the last ward or any chapel for that matter. So much for being an inclusive kingdom of God. I no longer practice, believe, attend or want anything to do with the church. Glad I gave myself the permission to be my own man. Life's been good since then. You want my story in full, I'm open to be invited.

[@KidsandKittens217]

@Steven Camacho-Polk Good for you to leave and stay away from those abusive people. I am cheering you!

[@lawrencecarlson2425]

I was married to a Mormon woman for 20 years. From my experiences and what I witnessed, the LDS church is extremely intrusive and controlling. I my case the LDS church sought to assume authority over me and my household. The leaders injected themselves into decision making that should be the business of the married adult couple. The bombardment of legalese and constraints ultimately lead to the divorce. And I'm glad to be free of it.

[@knivesy]

I genuinely don’t understand how an avalanche of disdain and judgement is supposed to help anyone. Especially when it’s directed to one party exponentially more than the other. What makes anyone think that severely shunning a person is going to make them want to remain in that group? How do they not see the harm they cause?

[@miniphe47]

Questioning about explicit sexual Encounters with the 14 years old is not well intended questioning

[@UnderstandingMormonism]

^^^ This! ^^^

[@davidford5896]

When you read the scriptures on confessing one's sins, it was never supposed to be in private to a bishop or priest so you could be shamed. It was supposed to be a confession to the body of the church so that other members could help you through your struggles. It is supposed to work similarly to group therapy. The fact that so many churches get this wrong is rather scary and disappointing to me.

[@China-Clay]

Earth to Kayla, you are wonderful, you were never broken, and you have a beautiful life ahead, grab it and go girl!

[@operageek1011]

When I turned 12 and had my first private bishops interview my bishop asked me if I’d had my period yet??? Fast forward a few years and I had my first sexual experience with a boy and my dad made me confess to my bishop. My dad said he would kick me out if I didn’t confess and repent. My bishop asked me the same kinds of questions: how many times, did I like it, oral, positions etc. This church is crazy, but it’s protected by money and a fleet of lawyers so I doubt much will change.

[@betsyh403]

That is so perverted and sick. I grew up Methodist in Florida, a world away it seems. I hieeed baptists or Catholics as extreme religions. I have never been alone or asked any type of a personal question by a preacher or senior member, male or female of the church I grew up in. It’s wild to me the abuse Mormans subject their children to. I haven’t been to church in really since I got my daughter baptized- so 14 years ago. I only recently stumbled into learning about the LDS - through following the Lori Vallow trial believe it or not, and I am horrified

What an incredible story - thank you to both women so vulnerable and honest. The part about her brother made me want to cry (happy tears).

[@sophiej1987]

This is so unsettling. I grew up in the Mormon church as well. It’s an interesting thing because you want to be mad at these parents who sit passively while these things happen, and encourage it even. But then when you’ve experienced things personally and you KNOW these people, more than that you Know that could’ve been you if you hadn’t reformed your beliefs at an early age.. you have to have compassion for those parents. They are just people too who have been indoctrinated for years, decades.

[@UnderstandingMormonism]

Great observations, Sophie!

[@HelloThere-xx1ct]

Thanks for sharing this insanely difficult story. This is really the only way to generate any momentum to change church practices like this.

[@marklaymon6698]

Not being "allowed" to take the sacrament, defeats the entire purpose of the sacrament.

[@connormorgan6884]

I can must certainly relate to this young lady. I had similar situations where I was forced not to take the sacrament because I did things which were considered grievous. Now being an adult I see things differently now. The one thing that really, really angered me about the church is that it is full of Hypocrisy and fear. When I finally read the Bible in its full context and not little verses taken out of context (which I think almost every religion does) I soon realized the Atonement or sacrament was not prepared for the righteous, but for the sinners. I soon discovered that worthiness is impossible and it is by Jesus Christ we are saved. The Church is full of Hypocrites, it's full of judgemental people and the majority of them are extremely Arrogant.

[@potaytoes5075]

Heartbreaking. So sad to lose those tender and beautiful years where you explore your feelings and emotions for another person. My dating life was non existent bc I was too shy. Couldn't date til 16 so I didn't gain any social skills with girls. Thanks for sharing!

[@leahaloysiaadkins2928]

Thank you for your openness and sharing. I know this could not have been easy to relive, but sharing your story can help others. Blessed be as you continue your journey. I am what I respectfully call a "recovering Mormon" at nearly 60. If only I had been able to share my story and be validated in my feelings, so much would have been different in my life. Thank you again, and know you are not alone!

[@thefourhicks]

Amazing podcast. I thought Kelly’s description of finding out about the essays (and the fact they contained info different than she had been taught or was teaching) was EXTREMELY powerful. Also her confronting her Bishop husband with the same logic was amazing (he has served a mission, steak ym Presidency, bishop, etc. but didn’t know those things). Captured my frustration perfectly. It wasn’t any one piece of info that made me leave, but the fact that the Church had not been honest with me about it’s history (and in fact whitewashed it and misled me). Wonder if that could be turned into a KZbin video. If so, MS, respond to this and I’d be happy to donate $50 to help make it happen.

[@ta1424]

My bishop, at the time I went to him and told him asked me very similar questions. At the end I asked him if I could take the sacrament and he said "Are you worthy to?" He assigned me scriptures to read, told me I could not pray publicly or take sacrament until hearing further from him. But, the questions were so inappropriate. Unbelievably inappropriate. So my heart goes out to this girl. Thank you for speaking on this matter. Until it's done to you, you just don't understand.

[@cindylutz7442]

I'm not a Mormon; I am/was a pretty conservative Christian. I'm 61 now, by the by, and definitely personally believed premarital sex was wrong. My church would not have interfered in my personal life, for better or worse. My mom probably would have just let me figure it out. My dad, however, not even a little bit religious, was like the bishops/church that is described above. I wasn't champing at the bit to have sex, my relationship with boys was very innocent until my senior year of high school. This was my third high school and I'd had to leave behind (1500 miles) a boyfriend who truly was a gem, (not to mention a ton of friends--I was never very popular but I fit in at high school number 2, really didn't want to leave.) I loved God, truly, but I also felt betrayed, (there were some other things that had happened, too,) so I was ripe/vulnerable for/to a predatory guy. Same age as me, just, way outside my experience to that point. After graduation, he asked me to marry him, (up to this point I had resisted his advances,) naively not understanding this was likely not a sincere offer. Of course, we finally "did it" and bam, there's my dad on my doorstep. (No lie--I'd moved across state to go to school, no dorms, so my dad made me live with an older woman. I really liked her, it was a sweet situation, I thought. Never occurred to me my dad might have enlisted her to spy.) I got the same "give me all the details" kind of talking to, and...though my dad said he appreciated my telling the truth and that he would go easier on me, he still--after talking to the director of the program I was in--yanked me home. My mom talked him into letting me go back, but I really never had a chance after missing some of the things I missed. They wanted me to break up with the guy but he was obviously also there at the same school, and I was almost 18, and supporting myself. My dad had always said when I was 18, living on my own, supporting myself, I could live as I chose. So, tough situation for him, I guess. I actually did manage to keep the guy at bay (during which season he cheated on me twice, but I'd "made a commitment" and I loved him,) until I turned 18, which is not the same as saying he didn't pester me. When my birthday came, I gave up, (but of course I couldn't go on the pill because that would mean I agreed it was okay,) so, three months later, I'm pregnant. I expect the guy to say "it's okay, we'll just get married," but he didn't. Instead, his answer was, "I'll pay for half your abortion." (It was 1979, legal, but too early for the prolife movement to have kicked in.) I really didn't feel I could tell my parents, wasn't sure my dad wouldn't kill me, (he was known for literally beating the crap out of people,) so I had the abortion. That afternoon my dad calls. (Long distance calls were rare in my world, cost money!) Again, quite a coincidence! He doesn't ask about the abortion, presumably he doesn't know, though obviously he did because I had confided in the lady I lived with. What he does say is, "Are you still with him?" I said I was. He said, "You are an orphan." The guy actually went home for the summer, while I'd always planned to stay and keep working. Weeks go by and I don't hear from him. I eventually get a call from my grandmother who told me my dad had told everyone he thought I might contact (to ask for money--it always came down to money with him,) to ignore me. The boyfriend eventually snuck me a tiny note saying my dad had threatened him and his family with a statutory rape...thing...if he didn't leave me alone. This went on for six months. My mom wasn't allowed to write or call on her own, though once or twice he did have her dial me up, maybe thinking I'd miss her enough to...what? I guess I was supposed to promise to be done with the guy? But see above, I still hadn't figured out that, well, my dad was actually right--the guy WAS NOT...a good person. He certainly didn't love me, he just said a lot of pretty words. And I knew that, on some level. But I weighed the two: my dad, who told me there was nothing of worth in me? Or the guy, who at least said nice things? Plus, I felt that if I made a decision like that because I was bullied into it, I'd just repeat the process. It needed to be my decision, my conclusion that things needed to change. And after abortion number 2, I did make the change. And my dad "took me back". Now as a parent, I see my dad's perspective a bit better, though, I never felt my dad loved me or actually had my best interest at heart. I was an adult, not 14. He'd never shown any interest or concern for my well being say when we moved five times between age 9 and 16, but he was very concerned about how his kids made him look. Still, that guy WAS a big mistake. So, I kind of get it. And if I'd been 14? Yikes! But, the bottom line does appear to be: the hard line probably isn't going to get you the result you want. Still, don't be having sex when you're 14...please!!

[@michaelreidperry3256]

What a normal person she is, thrown in what seems like an unwinnable situation. I hope she is still winning against these perverts and their perverted system.

[@whiteraven69]

The guilt and shame is internalized crippling young people and seeding depression , which is the reason so many have suicidal thoughts and a negative self image. I cant fathom having to talk to a Bishop in a Church about my first sexual experiences , and the practice seems very disturbing (especially to a non Mormon) on many levels. The trauma affects people throughout their lives, damaging healthy sexuality . I feel this is a stain on the Mormonism , the tactics of public ostracism and humiliation , and isolation is heartbreaking . I wonder how many broken and wounded Mormons are out there because of this arcahic belief?

[@MrBillmechanic]

LIE TO THESE TWISTED PISS-ANTS IN WHITE SHIRTS AND TIES!! YOU WILL FEEL A LOT BETTER.

[@larryfreestone6135]

Bless your heart Kayla. This was very difficult to listen to. It’s pretty sad what the guys can get away with in the cult. Masogyny will always be the motive for the brethren.

[@awakening2979]

I would go in if the bishop or any priesthood holders need to meet with my daughter!!! They have too much power and some can even abuse their power!

[@clurkroberts2650]

This interview needed to include the mothers realization how her daughter was psychologically destroyed. Did the mother finally recognize how Mormonism was hurting her, did she leave the Mormons.

[@paulw2117]

I have been through several of those interviews. I'm not sure why some of them want specific details. And then I have been in interviews that are basically like "how are you doing"? I would be like things are fine and that would be about it.

[@UnderstandingMormonism]

The inconsistency in these interviews should be more evidence of the fact that church leaders are not inspired by god, and simply acting on their own personal beliefs.

[@nickdipaolofan5948]

@@UnderstandingMormonism Totally agree, the fact that some people get to be declared worthy (who had committed many more violations of church rules than someone else) by one bishop and yet, that SAME person would be going through a disciplinary council and possibly disfellowshipped or even excommunicated if they simply lived in a couple blocks over......that is NOT of God. I personally know a few families who admit they "bishop shop" before they buy a house. Basically knowing how to game the system. No inspiration that I can detect.

[@exbronco]

a 14 year old can't take sacrament? that's ridiculous.

[@kourt2469]

Can't take the sacrament but can get married to Joseph Smith

[@scottbrandon9390]

When I attended an evangelical church as a teen, the pastor would stand each month when we had sacrament. He would then tell the congregation not to take sacrament if their was unresolved sin or relationship issues etc. But he would have talked to people in advance in a private one-on-one meeting not to take the sacrament. He would always look in my direction as he said it to the congregation, as if I was full of sin. I was a teen then and it is still brings back bad memories of that church.

[@gregorjerman973]

The savior forgave an adulterous woman instantaneously, but these ahoes treat it like a judgement day purgatory thing.

[@deboraholsen2504]

It’s to help her to not be further into sin by taking the Lord’s supper unworthily, and to not be a hypocrite by pretending to be publicly worthy. So she’ll be less accountable for her mistakes. But I do know her bishop was inappropriate in the way he handled this. I’m so sorry.

[@kourt2469]

@@deboraholsen2504 nobody is technically ever "worthy" to take the sacrament though

[@michaelreidperry3256]

And Mom! Heroically taking it all! Good for her! Mothers who can hear the “Mommie Dearest stories” are heroic.

[@tthomas6013]

As a tear drops from my eye, I remember those hurtful condemning words from the Bishop. We the abandoned, have lost so much from a the Church that claims Families will be together Forever, by the judgements thrust upon us. The damage is repairable to the heart they have destroyed.

[@foxibot]

I know Mormon bishops asked married women about their sex life because I read a book about a Mormon woman that said her bishop asked about if she gave oral sex to her husband and when she said yes, he said he wished his wife “mouthed him”. It still gives me the creeps how they do that and live their own sexual fantasies through girls and women. And have a unnatural interest in females and even young guys sex lives. It’s just wrong.

[@Fashn4LaDieS]

What book was that? Poor woman!

[@jayneebersole8931]

What kind of formal training do these bishops receive? How many of them have degrees in counseling, psychology? Anything that qualifies them to dole out "advice"? I hope you are continuing to find healing. You are very worthy of living a rich, full life.

[@Fashn4LaDieS]

Nope, none of them have any formal training. They will refer you to an LDS shrink, though.

[@loraleenunley2466]

My Son and his GF got pregnant at age 14. Baby was born. Adopted by a wonderful couple. It was absolutely traumatizing to so many. But we adore our beautiful granddaughter. We love her. We love her parents. We adore the birth parents as well.

[@denisethrondsen3399]

Dear Mormon church: Quit meddling and destroying people’s lives. It’s NOT your business to know ANYTHING about anyone’s personal life. I believe in Jesus, he’s my Savior!

[@emilyacoxpsychic]

I am genetically and biologically an intersexed hermaphrodite and I also just went through a very traumatizing experience with the bishop and president. I am completely straight and heterosexual male, but I was ostracized and traumatized by the church just recently for the past four weeks due to my biological condition

[@kathyborthwick6738LakotaEmoji]

Dear heavens -so sorry that happened to you! Heartbreaking🕊❤️🕊💚🕊

[@loraleenunley2466]

I can relate to you as i felt abused by these bishops who wanted too many details. It was like bishops were getting off on their information. Ugh.

[@betsyh403]

You didn’t feel abused, you were abused. And I’m sorry that that happened to you. You didn’t deserve it.

[@janeekitchen7727]

Absolute abuse ..... I am so sorry you had to experience such pain. So so many people have to go through these ordeals. I pray you are healing and can feel how precious you are. 'In the name of Jesus Christ' .... I don't think so! x

[@nicolelovesjesusgod7673]

I’m crying for you! It is terrible and it will never worse . This was hell . It is better from now on . Please don’t delete my comments. Please

[@Lucifersfursona]

“I thought it was a manipulative tactic to defer her bad behavior” k but why did my secular parent react to me being suicidal like this. What

[@marksandsmith6778]

Hope you feel better about stuff now OWB

[@Lucifersfursona]

@@marksandsmith6778 yes and no; relationship’s definitively improved but I’m still living w them / thanks :)

[@marksandsmith6778]

@@Lucifersfursona also try different books .???

[@tallgrasslanestitches6635]

Maybe, if a parent hasn’t been taught how to be supportive and listen, they can’t process the thought that their own child might not want to live anymore, so they go into denial. They *should* be able to be better, and it’s not an excuse, but that can be a reason for that response.

[@johnsaxton5281]

And you thought only the JW’s were experts at Shaming.

[@pureblood8692]

I've been wondering for the past several months about what happened with my bishop meeting when I was 13, only remember one question and that was when he asked me

[@h.r.9563]

The fact that so many people have reported the church saving these kinds of confessions... I'm shook

[@markcavandish1295]

This needs 3 million views.

[@arcticcat7142]

How traumatising (nothing less than a public shinning and at NO TIME should a young person of either gender ever be in a private conversation with someone of the opposite gender, especially without their parents! We are instructed biblically to go to our brothers and sisters in LOVE when someone has sinned.

[@danielkniceley1987]

Amen

[@GemmaHentsch]

To suggest it’s a noble intention rather than predatory creepy men trying to invade the privacy of vulnerable victims…

[@dodgerdave777channel]

Same thing that I said regarding at least a portion of the Bishop's and here we have a psychologist making a blanket statement who has heard the testimonies brought forth by Sam young with plenty of evidence to the contrary of John's excuse that Bishops in general are only trying to help

[@robyndeddens6658]

Absolutely disgusting that made this poor girl go through! Bishop is horrible man who I am sure enjoyed it! Kayla I am sorry you had to go through that, my heart breaks for you and everyone who has had to endure this type of treatment.

[@mbennett3422]

It’s abusive and unlawful violation in the name of God. I’m sooo angry that they did this to you, a child!!!! If it was my daughter I’d sue the crap out of that ward bishop for abusing my daughter Beloved Kayla, GOD holds you at the highest adoration and regards. Not sure how much you’ve healed from this dark experience, but all my love and best wishes to you and your amazing life ahead of you.

[@Stildo82]

These stories crush my heart. I’m so so sorry. Tscc makes me so angry.

[@danfrey]

What is Tscc?

[@Drums-ve8on]

Beyond horrendous. How can any “church” treat ANYONE so badly? Despicable!

[@MrSmiles51]

They marked her with a scarlet letter for everyone to know.

[@kathyborthwick6738LakotaEmoji]

How many older Mormon men married girls ages 14? I have statistics and it would most people sick! Sham on these Bishops and Elders! I am a Lakota Youth Elder and I am very disgusted by this handling of a vulnerable young woman! She told the truth to this church and they could not handle it! Aho Mitakuye Oiyasin Mita Kolas!

[@johndotter351]

This is the sad side of the reality of Church discipline. When members and formal members have had to carry on with the guilt for so many years either will never be active again. In my life i remember having my membership threatened a few times by a Bishop as their scare tactic, basically I just didn't feel like playing a blackmail game anymore, so then i wrote a letter to the Stake President, asking for Excommunication. The church court convened and i have not been a member since the early 1990's. Even though i didn't get forgiveness from the church, but a big burden felt it has been removed for me. Yes A few times I would try and make a comeback, but it kind of lost its luster from me. I am not seeking to destroy the church, but have stuck up for it cause of my active family members cause I know it is a part of their lives. So I repect it in that sense, but pretty much leave it a lone the rest of the time.

[@larrytruelove8659]

Wouldn’t it help for the bishop interview to have a female assistant in the room?

[@whiteraven69]

You are missing the point, no one should be given the authority to discuss sexual behavior with a 14 year old...most especially an old white guy, who is a Bishop. This is a violation to young people, and is so damaging. It is very disturbing that this practice is normalized in the Mormon faith. The questions they ask are so personal and invasive and most likely have never been discussed with anyone. It feels like a situation where teenagers are set up for all kinds of emotional , and mental abuse...and in some cases sexual abuse. How can Mormons (other than thats how it was done with them), give their parental authority over to their Bishop? I am 😮

[@larrytruelove8659]

@@whiteraven69 I’ll preface my reply by saying I’m not a Mormon and I never was one. But anyway, I’m not sure what laws there are which prevent inquiries. But if his motives are to aid sexual chastity of a female minor, he shouldn’t be doing it one on one. That sounds creepy. And I don’t see the point in knowing anything beyond superficial information.

[@hollon1697]

@@whiteraven69 interesting how you say “old white guy”

[@droundyCubby]

There is no time on this, but now people may bring someone with them anytime they have a meeting with a bishop.

[@sarahplainmom7500]

@stephen miller They allow the parents to be in the room now

[@bodeinebrazy]

I had a very similar experience. I was also 14. I’m so sorry. It was traumatic for me too.

[@kathyborthwick6738LakotaEmoji]

Brave young woman who has been to hell and back! Shame on these men!

[@kathygreen2557]

I listen to these stories and read these comments and just shake my head in amazement that we still permit this type of abuse in our century. This young girl was brutally traumatized and suicidal. These salacious "interviews" (they are actually criminal verbal assaults) sound like something from the 16th century. No citizen of a free country should allow anyone to speak to her in that way, at any age. We have legal protection against that kind of outrageous behavior.