Unpacking Boarding School Syndrome: Impact on Sexuality and Relationships | Piers Cross

[@intelligenthorsemanshipwit1330]

I have found that healing from my boarding school experiences is very difficult. It’s an ongoing process. Like an onion, I think I’ve got somewhere and then I’m facing another layer. It leaves me feeling it’s a pointless effort and that I am unhealable. Something about you, beyond the words and ideas you express, something is visceral, you appear comfortable and whole in a way that I rarely or never experience.

[@pierscross]

Thank you for your kind words Adam. Yes, I totally resonate with you about it feeling like an unwinnable journey sometimes. I guess I have learned to keep going and going and going. And sometimes it is really good and sometimes it is tough and we keep going and going. As Nick Duffell says, ex-boarders are some of the most complex people to treat in therapy. My view is that we can heal and find joy again. I am putting my BS journey down in a book which teaches some of the practices that I have used. It will hopefully be out in the next 6 months to a year once I have found a publisher. Good luck on the journey. Many blessings, Piers

[@solitaryreaper77]

I had a very devastating experience Sir, I suffered emotionally deeply and severely. Still struggling to come out of that emotional wound. You will be surprised to know that I deeply wished and longed that I could do out back daily from school to home, but that desire never fulfilled,.I developed emotional attachment with my belongings, even I couldnt throw away the wrappers of things I brought from my home. Many blessings Sir!

[@pierscross]

Good morning SR, thank you for your openness and honesty. Sounds like you found boarding school to be a challenging experience like me. I struggled to get out of the emotional wound too but now feel so different. I know now that it is possible to heal. May you find that healing too. Sending you many blessings and healing, Piers

[@solitaryreaper77]

@@pierscross Thank you Sir. How did you come out of that emotional scar, Piers?

[@pierscross]

Good morning SP, great question. I am just finishing my second book where I teach the processes that I used/ am using to heal myself from boarding school Syndrome. Hopefully be out in the next 6 months. I also share quite a few of the processes that I have used to heal in my first book How To Survive in Challenging Times. It is definitely possible to heal. Take care SR, Piers

[@AnyaB18]

Fascinating, Piers. Thank you for being so open and honest; we need more men like you! 🙏🏼

[@pierscross]

Thank you Anya, glad that you found it helpful. I am learning to be more open after being very shut down and closed for many years. Many blessings, Piers

[@AnneFabienneRaven]

thank you so much Piers this is really great

[@mersauff223]

I was at a boarding school for one year in France, and I’m not french. That made me even more different and an even bigger target for bullying and being so different and not able to speak french, express and understand their culture has made me an alien for that one year, and I still can’t fully heal from that. But I was in a very hard age and my character started changing and a lot of people were kind and wanted to help me and I had friends but a lot of the time I wanted to stay alone and exlude myself because I couldn’t fully grasp what was happenings to me. Experiences like this should be taken only positively I am a grown up now and I remember what a little fool I was, but I have forgiven myself.

[@pierscross]

Thank you Mersauff for your courage in sharing here. I can only imagine how challenging it was for you being at that school. I attended university in France and quite a few of the students had been to boarding school. I found them quite challenging to be honest. Sounds like you have done a lot of healing work. Take care, Piers

[@simonsmatthew]

Interesting. It seems that boarding schools in France are often government run set up for people in rural areas, and recently according to The Local (i put the link on here but it was removed) recently encouraged by the French Government because it is seen as helping children in dysfunctional homes and deprived areas.There are also expensive private schools, but I suspect like Switzerland, these are more for foreigners. People in Swizerland, however, have recently begun to send children to private schools because very high levels of immigration has led to difficulties, or suspected difficulties, in the state sector. But I do not think these are really boarding schools.

[@harrystick3705]

Thanks for the video and your work. Just sharing. My boarding school experiences, amongst other problems, led me to premature ejaculation. It took time to heal this. Like you said I had to reconnect my sexuality with my love and spirit. Also I had to learn to love my male side, as I had rejected it. A question, is there a link to your men's groups please? I am interested and would be happy to pay.

[@pierscross]

Good morning Harry, Thank you for your openness and your courage in sharing. It is very heart warming to hear of men healing themselves. Thank you for leading the way. Thank you also for sharing about how you connected your sexuality with your love and spirit. There is such a split there for so many men and your journey sounds very inspiring. Sure, my men's circle happens every 2 weeks on a Thursday and you can find more information here www.piers-cross.com/online-mens-circles. If you subscribe at the bottom I will send a link out before the circle. Many blessings, Piers

[@kirstinetermansen3227]

I think, desire but it's connectedness to pain Yes

[@solitaryreaper77]

Sir a very to the point analysis of the issue. I think an ex boarder like me will understand deeply what exactly you mean.

[@pierscross]

Thank you for your comment SR. It's always good to hear feedback. I am glad that you found it useful, many blessings, Piers

[@lemsip207]

This describes my friend's husband to.a T. He was just like that. She thought it was normal of men.

[@richardrickford3028]

Of course some boarding schools are religious establishments where the school takes on board the idea that you should not have sex until you are married or maybe not even have a lustful thought or "flash a blue movie about a woman you see through your mind" as I heard one preacher say. Masturbation can also be frowned up especially as the maturbator has fantasies going through his or her mind. This may lead people to have an internal sexual police officer even after they leave school. Many leaders of especially catholic schools may be celebate and their sex drive may well be expressed by a heavy prudery and disgust with sex that can be projected onto some pupils or imitated by pupils who want the praise of the teachers. Just as anorexia can be an unhealthy obsession with food so a censorious celibate person may well be an unhealthy sex maniac.

[@kirstinetermansen3227]

I think yoga kind connect

[@kirstinetermansen3227]

Oh that's why I wanna go back

[@marknorman3582]

So all true, thank you.

[@kirstinetermansen3227]

I think brutally, not violence But ? A sort of, belongs, or Familier,

[@kirstinetermansen3227]

I Just got spoked, then ups

[@alienspotter422]

💔❤🙏

[@peterkavanagh64]

Fir me sex is to shut pains.