Unravelling Autistic Shutdowns

Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. On this video I explore the topic of Autistic Shutdowns. Plus, I share my personal lived experiences as an #actuallyautistic person. #orionkelly #autism #asd #autismsigns #whatautismfeelslike
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ABOUT ORION:
Orion Kelly is an #ActuallyAutistic vlogger (KZbinr), podcaster, radio host, actor, keynote speaker and Autistic advocate based in Australia. Orion is all about providing validation and support for Autistic people and their loved ones.
#AutisticVoices #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Autism #OrionKelly #ThatAutisticGuy #ASD
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⛔️*Disclaimer: The videos contained on this channel are for general education and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute professional advice. For professional advice and training seek assistance from a qualified provider. All views are my own and do not represent those of my employers or sponsors. Some images used are stock images.*⛔️
Related: autism, autism diagnosis, Orion Kelly, orionkelly, thatautisticguy, tiktok videos, autistic, autism in adults, autism in women, autism in men, autism spectrum condition, asd, autism spectrum disorder, aspergers, aspergers syndrome, autism in boys, autism in girls, dsm, dsm5, autistic adults, autistic kids, autism mom, autism parent, autism family, autism speaks, autism awareness, autism acceptance, autism at work, am I autistic, adult autism test, autism disclosure, autism therapy, autism prevention, autism meltdown, autistic burnout, autistic behavior, autism symptoms, autism traits, autistic signs, what autism feels like, love on the spectrum, stimming, echolalia, anxiety

[@fatheroftherealm]

Autistic heavy comment sections seem to be the most supportive and understanding. I appreciate the channel and the delivery of information.

[@jazzdirt]

Very ironic, and also very true...

[@heedmydemands]

I like your screen name, and yeah so nice to b among autists

[@Passing_for_Neurotypical]

A bit overwhelming I imagine, but I'm also craving it to be honest (for my comments sections). Right now they are only the random people that have no club about anything I'm talking about.

[@jazzdirt]

@@Passing_for_Neurotypical You'll grow your audience... be patient...

[@Passing_for_Neurotypical]

@@jazzdirt Maybe or maybe not. I have to admit that at 50+ it's a little harder to be patient.

[@SeparateOnes]

When overwhelmed I stop speaking and "hearing" anything. I cannot engage or think. I literally "go" somewhere else.

[@Figuringitout7]

Me too. 😩

[@michaelpineiro533]

My dad called it "clamming up".

[@Figuringitout7]

@@michaelpineiro533 my birther called it , “ being a little shi t. “😒

[@asaldanapr]

Me too!

[@barrysim5588]

Same here ☹️

[@rawnchydeard4669]

You know how many jobs I’ve lost because of shutdowns? All of them. Thank you for highlighting this issue.

[@belindathomas7430]

Same for me - all except one.

[@michaelpineiro533]

It's funny, because it's true. It's not funny, because it's true.

[@michaelpineiro533]

Yep, that one was a meltdown.

[@wonderlandeldemonanastasi]

I hope, if working is good for y'all, that y'all find jobs wherein your autistic traits and needs (your very self!) are accepted. The other week at work I had a shutdown (realized it was a shutdown after the fact) due to others liking the music loud in the kitchen and me having to tell them to turn it down repeatedly despite my earplugs. It was exhausting, because they would always eventually turn it back up, if not immediately after the song I said something during ended. Anyway, I went nonverbal, and I wrote an explanation of why I need it quiet down on receipt paper -- because it is an irritation, and irritations accumulate into meltdowns, and I am constantly doing my best to minimize irritations to lessen the chance of having a meltdown so my work doesn't suffer or I need to go home, and I gave the papers to my kitchen manager, also explaining thereon that I was nonverbal at the moment, and she imparted the information to the general manager who had the music shut off entirely. It was so bueno. I later had a meltdown because that whole thing left me one irritant away from meltdown, and I went and rocked and stimmed outside, then came back in. After that, there was only too-loud music for a few nights, but then it became consistently quiet enough to where my mind is peaceful, and has been since. People at my job understand that I am autistic and have sensory needs, and have my own system of working that is not to be altered lest I get confused, but with the loud music factor gone I can more easily figure mix-arounds out on the fly -- I put some sandwiches in the wrong order last night, haha! It wasn't very busy last night which was another factor in this not being a dire circumstance, the mix-around. Anyway, my workplace is good. It is possible to have good and accommodating workplaces.

[@alejandro-314]

Sometimes I feel I need to cry but can't cry, sometimes I want to scream but I can't scream. It's like I'm scare of emitting sounds.

[@Figuringitout7]

I scream inside myself. Often.

[@user-hd6hh3re5h]

Somebody else understands! I've been feeling the same for many years now, I feel like I wanna cry but I can't 😭

[@sarahfowler9741]

Thank you for this! This video is a much better description of shut down than I've seen before, and makes me realize how often I do shut down. I think I probably shut down 10 times more often than melt down, which is more "socially acceptable," but also means I'm often in severe emotional/mental distress and no one notices.

[@a_1973_love_yourself]

That is awfull. I hoping and praying for you doing better in the future

[@mariagusman6949]

I genuinely 💯 related to this as well.

[@KPaul7]

I agree as well. It's like a mini burnout.

[@sayusayme7729]

Yes , very clear.

[@celeste8157]

I'm having one today. Not fun. I always find it difficult to speak, but it's damn near impossible when having a shutdown. Having to leave my house and do something in public for a couple days in a row usually is what causes my shutdowns. This past week I had something to do Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, so it has caught up to me today. Plus, I have hypersomnia and was up half the night last night. I CANNOT function without sleep, and I need more sleep than most people.

[@t-man5196]

Damn having to leave your house and do something public for just two days causes shut downs for you? No wonder like 90 percent of autistic people or whatever the figure is are unemployed

[@tpshsahoo7]

Leaving home can be stressful for anyone... Does it necessarily mean autism

[@MrScrelli]

@@tpshsahoo7 If you are almost completely unable to speak and function, because you had to go out for a few days in a row then probably yes. It's different from being tired and not wanting to talk, it is physically straining to talk during shutdown if not impossible. Leaving home can be stressful for anyone yeah, but most people are stressed or exhausted maybe still from the night before and not constantly overwhelmed by the sounds of moving cars, chirping birds, talking people and the sun shining bright to the point that they can't handle it on a daily basis.

[@LadyGoddessSephiroth]

I'm hypersensitive. It sucks. I can't shut it off. I can't control it. I will black out sometimes if I'm overwhelmed enough. Other times my brain will scream "ENOUGH!" and I will literally drop everything, go to a quiet place and not emerge until I'm better. Sometimes for days or weeks at a time. Idk if that's a shutdown, but it happens pretty often as of late.

[@Figuringitout7]

I end up closing myself in the closet. Quiet and dark. Then sitting on the edge of my bed for weeks or longer!!! I’m married 44 yrs and this channel has helped me and spouse to understand what the world is happening to me. 😢 thank you for sharing your experience. Im not alone. We are not alone.

[@NitFlickwick]

The comment about lack of sleep and everything being harder is so true. When I don’t get enough sleep on a particular day, I am on the edge of meltdown for the entire day. Needing to catch an early flight is a sure way to make sure i I have a bad day at the airport, which is already a difficult place to be.

[@spooookie1]

Yes, I used to believe that I simply found other people boring and dull and just took myself to the toilet, or broke into my special interest. Problem is many of them say they understand, but when it comes to it, they simply lose patience. I really have big big problems with dealing with NT's. The lack of sleep thing is extremely bad because the light seems even brighter and the noises sound even louder and thats on top of everything else.

[@fleetingmoment]

As I recently commented on another channel covering a similar topic: The worst place for a shutdown is at work, where people still expect you to interact with them. I start garbling my words and sometimes end up being unable to form even the most basic sentences.

[@JerilynnRocks]

I tell people, "Sorry, I just powered down" and then I ask for a break from the conversation. Thankfully my colleagues understand. We are all so overwhelmed at work that I think they need to be accommodated at times, too.

[@MissyRoseLord]

The loss of a special interest thing blew my mind! It makes so much sense and every time I’ve had an extremely difficult patch in my life I always question why I’m not interested in my topic anymore. It makes me sad when it happens but now that I know that it goes with my Autism I can treat it. I’ve always suppressed my stims, tried to fit in, make friends etc. More recently I’ve allowed myself to stim and I don’t get to that mute, looking down, feeling detached level as often. Don’t get me wrong it still happens a lot (at least 4 times a week), I’m in my first year of uni and I really didn’t think I’d get here, but if I allow myself to stim, don’t force eye contact then it’s more manageable

[@WeepingWillow422]

I think what I experience most of the time in response to stressful environment is dissociation. I've been doing it since childhood. I basically step outside of myself mentally to get away from it all. It's not distressing, though, it's calming for me to the point where I often don't want to leave that state because it's become comfortable compared to my environment and overwhelming feelings. Not sure if any other autistics can relate to this.

[@jazzdirt]

Yes, it's just that "stepping back" doesn't actually solve the problem... It usually just adds.. It's comfortable for the moment, but you also know stuff is gonna hit the fan afterwards..

[@cizlerable]

Exactly. You withdraw from stressors that are necessary for you to function in society, but in the back of your mind you know you still have to go to your job, walk the dog, take care of your children. For me, this has often lead to (fortunately often short) periods of depression. The answer seems to be monitoring you emotional state cognitively, balancing out stress and relaxation as best you can and asking for help where needed from friends, colleagues and sometimes professional.

[@Figuringitout7]

Absolutely. It’s survival for me. Being in a particular environment is too much to bare and I cannot physically escape.

[@sylviaanne2320]

I can relate. Around the time I got to be a teenager, I had clutter around me. I would keep my room so messy, and I just remembered that I would scream as loud as I could if someone came in to my room that wasn't my sister. We lived in our room together until I was like 15. Then my older sister moved out, and my mom made her old room so nice for me. Then she moved back home... and I just slept on the sofa for about a year, refusing to move back in the room with my younger sister. We didn't have a lot of discipline with homework or being on time. Now I struggle to do daily chores, or ever do any chores, and I ignore the clutter everywhere. I can't seem to be on time even when my well being depends on it. I just shut down and go to my bed. Then I fill my bed with self help books and whatever else I want next to me. It's the worst. It just looks like laziness. I've been so mean to myself about it. It's taken a long time to try not to be mean to myself. Now I am still looking for a balance. No other way??!! Ahhh!!

[@kalt1976]

Cognitive/executive overload resulting in shutdown/dissociation, is a big one for me. I have high iq, higher education pretigious job etc and so everyone just assumes that they can dump a shi*t ton of verbal or written info on me and I'll be fine. But I get utterly overwhelmed and become completely unable to act or think, my brain just burns down and shuts off, to the point that I cannot act on anything and completely lose my overview. And don't even get me started on sleep....

[@Jenna.g.85]

I’m gonna try using “hold please” or wear my Orion Kelly “processing…standby “ shirt to doctors appointments and other social situations. I’ve definitely experienced in school if I’m not keeping up with the information I just stop, or when a teacher comes by to see how you’re doing I’d cover my paper and put on a fake smile so they would walk away and if they ask if I’ve got it I’d say yes so I wouldn’t feel like a spotlight was put on me. I like what you said about having barrier in developing executive function skills. I definitely feel the instant STOP when I can no longer deal with executive functions. Shut downs feel kind of like an inflatable,deflating. I’ve developed insomnia as I’ve gotten older. Great video Orion

[@gothboschincarnate3931]

i would contemplate on your words...but ....processing..........processing.....processing...

[@xAnouchka]

Thank you so much for this video! It's been so difficult to find good explanations of shutdowns, I've been under the impression I just don't experience meltdowns or shutdowns. But what you describe I feel almost every day and now I can share this video with my family and hopefully it will be easier for them to understand also what's happening to me when I go into avoidance mode

[@danaberries11]

Same. Wow. Every single thing he mentioned I was like '✔️yup, ✔️yup, ✔️yup 😳 Exactly my daily experience since like, forever.

[@derekmerry1372]

My 18 year old son hasn't spoken a single word or communicated even by gesture with me for 15 months now. Thank you Orion for helping me understand.

[@myhumansuit]

Thank you Orion. I'm going through this right now.

[@zanakil]

wonderful job of explaining dysregulation and what I call "autistic crisis management" without any ableism or misleading simplification. I've been diagnosed very late so I have experienced many social and personal failures, traumatic events, and many shutdowns and meltdowns without even knowing. Therapy and shrinks were useless until I got diagnosed. Then after the diagnosis I fell into the autism rabbit hole for 5y, talked or exchanged with many other autistic people and I can confirm EVERY SINGLE THING in this vid is accurate and well-told.

[@RobAnthonyDire]

I used to lock myself in my room and stay in bed, sometimes sleeping for several days at a time. I was told it was depressions, but it felt more like complete exhaustion, usually after having to mask excessively, and feeling extreme need to "recharge."

[@angieturner3928]

I am in that place. Six months ago I was 'downsized' AGAIN. No reason provided, no bad review, nothing I can improve on for future roles. I am not mean, I never raise my voice, I try to add value with every thing I do, and I am extremely gifted at the analysis I do. I paint pictures WITH numbers while I am surrounded by people painting BY number. The only thing I lack is the ability to build the needed social connections. For 40 years I have been stepped over or stepped on for my coworkers' own personal benefit. Now on top of yet another rejection I am expected to put on the neuro-typical face so that someone new can offer me another chance to start the whole vicious cycle over again. 'Hard work will be rewarded' is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard. I wish someone had just been honest and told that the popularity and beauty contests never end. The only thing worse than being rejected is the hope that the same thing won't happen again. At least I don't feel alone... 💞

[@jojozepofthejungle2655]

I got lost in Orion Kelly's world, A journey through Autistic shutdowns unfurled. His insight and experiences laid bare, Help us understand, empathize, and care. From sensory triggers to emotional floods, Each shutdown manifests in unique studs. A disconnect from the world around, Yet a way to find peace, somewhat profound. Orion's words shed light on the unseen, A guide through a storm, calm and serene. Autism's challenges we now embrace, Thanks to his wisdom, woven with grace.

[@animal_person_]

Beautifully written! ..please don’t tell me it’s ChatGPT lol

[@TheSeptet]

​@@animal_person_we just really like to rhyme

[@voidbreaker4105]

I'm in the middle of an emotional explosion right now and found your videos, they help. Thank you for existing and making me feel less alone.

[@AG-yj1jv]

O.M.G⚠️‼️‼️‼️✅️‼️‼️‼️⚠️ "Hold, please." BRILLIANT - THIS COULD SOLVE SO FREAKING MUCH IN MY LIFE!!!!!!

[@MarciaB12]

I've never been diagnosed as autistic but this is me. In fact I keep saying I'm done. It's all too much So I shut down. My husband thinks I'm lazy. He doesn't understand me. Everything you said I do, I'm shocked. I can't process instructions. I can't believe someone gets it. Thank you. It's a nightmare and I get blamed. I keep saying I want to go home.

[@TheAnhedonicOne]

It's very frustrating going into shutdown mode, staring off, feeling overwhelmed, your mind racing and slowing down at the same time and nobody understands. People don't realize how much pain you could be in when you're that silent and that unresponsive.

[@sarahwhittle4868]

When I was 6 I got a bus home from school with a group of kids who thought it was funny to bully me on the way home. One boy tripped me up getting off me off the bus, i broke my nose. I ran away and eventually my mum called the police. I was found by the police in a haystack shacking and shivering in terror. After that my mum picked me up from the school even though she’d just given birth to my brother x

[@hilarydrake4]

I'm in the middle of a shut down. No longer scared of it. Thank you!

[@corrie9589]

I never truly realized that POSITIVE emotional flooding can lead to shutdown as well! This helps me further understand my spouse. Thanks again Orion!

[@myconfusedmerriment]

I can relate to that. Sometimes really big positive emotions make me feel just as overwhelmed as negative ones. And then I start worrying whether I seem happy or appreciative enough because I’m in the middle of rebooting…

[@suecollins357]

More light bulbs, thanks again. So many memories making sense. Think my totem animal might be a turtle

[@anotheranybody58]

My first word was "turtle." I also had lightbulb moments watching this. Loss of appetite/interest in food as a sign of shutdown - have often been confused about why there are times (and in phases which looking back correspond to increased frequency of shutdowns, and burnout) when as opposed my usual sensory craving food behavior, I feel apathy or even repulsion around food.

[@suecollins357]

@@anotheranybody58 looooove turtle being your first word 😍 and yes to all you said. Similar experiences here

[@THEMilaTigger]

I have been slowly heading toward full blown burn out since 2011. Just after the return to work part of the pandemic in the US, I completely shut down and cannot seem to pull myself out. I lost my only full blood sibling to a stroke 2yrs ago, timed with the return to work event. I am stuck. We failed all IVF cycles, and that has made it worse. I feel like I need rescued. Thanks for taking the time to read my message.

[@raymierodgers4411]

Can’t get out of burnout. Correction. Other people keep shutting me down and I’m in perpetual burnout. That’s easy 18 months now and I reckon my heart will just stop soon 🤯😢 These videos help process it all though. Fight another day eh? Thanks Orion. 💙🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@KPaul7]

I have to say shutdowns are extremely stressful. I feel like I end my day like this everyday. I am under so much stress it's ridiculous. I'm in the middle of getting disability, having 3 kids and a divorce. Absolutely nuts ! ! ! Thank you Orion ❤️

[@Elizabethpepper8]

Autistic shutdowns are part of the sympathetic nervous system, correct? Shutdowns are basically the freeze response, eg. dissociation. Exactly like dorsal vagal shutdown?

[@Mulnader]

Not much new things for me to learn in this video but listening relatable stories is pure gold. Thank you for landing on the same planet with me dear aliens 😉

[@asaldanapr]

Right now I’m going through a long period of shutdown and just realized it thanks to your video. I stopped using my cpap machine and recognize now that is part of it, amongst many of the other reasons you explained. But oh how I hate it! Must stop and not think too much about it and convince myself that to get out of this funk I have to get back to using it, it’s a necessary evil for me.

[@PurpleAmharicCoffee]

I feel like I have experienced this more that I have realised- especially when I can't relate to others in a social situation. This is why I attend hobby groups specified to my interests. My mind in private- Oh my gosh, I have so many subjects I can talk about to others! My mind in public- Error 404: Subjects not found.

[@darlasusa6412]

Thank you! I have found my people after 71 years!

[@jakke1975]

For me personally, a shutdown is not "equally" distressing as a meltdown. Instead it's like a meltdown on steroids and does much more damage as well. The danger about it is if others do not recognize what is happening (especially if you're not even diagnosed and even you don't understand) and are very much inclined to make the situation worse. Seeing an unresponsive adult in a situation where he or she needs to be relied on, can trigger others to shout at you, hit you, treating you like a little child who has a tantrum, fire you from your job, publicly ridicule you and I could go on for a while. It's a very traumatic experience because while we're not responsive, it's not like we're unconscious ... we do hear and see what goes on but we simply can't process the information at the time, nor respond. Don't even ask us to "nod our head". For me the only things that help at such time are people who are silent but willing to give a heartfelt hug, having a support pet around and otherwise, just leave us the bloody hell alone. But please do make sure there is nothing around us that we can use to self-harm ourselves. We go very, very deep during a shutdown.

[@angieturner3928]

Same. Frequently, during shutdowns, I have considered whether the world would be better without me... if anyone even noticed I was gone.

[@jakke1975]

@@angieturner3928 Wish I could give you a hug ... it's so bloody hard to find someone who understands what it's like and to give the support that is needed. For me personally, it doesn't help knowing that I'm not alone. Knowing that others go through the same pain doesn't make it hurt less, it actually makes me more sad. In any case, I wish you a lot of love, strength and I hope you find the support that you need and deserve.

[@mammajamma4959]

wow. Its hard to find words to thank you. Thank you.

[@clemfandango7052]

I'm just coming out of a week long shutdown. It has been horrible but videos like this help me to process and understand what is happening in my brain. Unfortunately it was brought about by being basically abused and bullied by the boss in a new workplace. Quitting the job has got me out of the situation but I'm now, again, looking for a job. Thank you for making these videos.

[@user-ye1go6hw9r]

Wow. :::chef's kiss::: Thank you for the very sharable-to-NTs video. I feel seen. ❤

[@shanechang2015]

You just gave me the ability to accurately describe so much of my experience as someone in the stage of convincing those around me that I am autistic. I'm mostly done with my assessment so I should have a formal diagnosis this summer but even the tiny bit of doubt I had is gone. Thank you so much for this video ♥

[@snorlaxgender]

I always felt like a bad person because this would happen to me at the end of relationships. I'd reach a point of stress where I'd just go robotic and coldly end things without feeling anything about it, even though I'd been in love with that person the week before. It still happens during arguments or fights, and it makes others mad when I can no longer match their energy level. Thank you for this. I didn't really consider that a shutdown could last more than a couple hours or something, but this explains a lot of my life and makes me feel more human tbh.

[@tnix80]

Absolutely my experience too, friend. I feel bad about it. 😢

[@HaakonOdinsson]

I love photography and music for eg (they are my passions, amongst others), but they go out the window when I shut down. I also isolate and I’m currently in a cycle of isolation which has been going on for over a month and half, and I’m worried sick that those around me will misread it as me being “funny”, cold, doing it on purpose to hurt. I say doing it on purpose, because one of my brothers has accused me of doing things deliberately to hurt….im not at all, but to hear it off him was really hurting to me. I get overwhelmed a lot these days after experiencing a narcissistic abusive relationship for 13yrs. I ended it 3 years ago but the damage to my coping mechanisms has been immense, and I’m not afraid to say I’m not coping at all with it. It’s bloody hard

[@HalidBsn-nz3qy]

Thank you so much… and keep making content. ❤ Because of you, your channel, I got diagnosed and I am learning how to handle my autistic traits. THANK YOU, LIKE FOR REALY, THANK YOU for validating me, making me feel normal and for the things you do for me, us and what u are doing for many many many other people!!!! ❤️

[@andi56837ykvk]

I’m very curious about apathy and Autism - or even apathy and burnout for people with asd. I have seen a therapist in the past because I felt completely detached from my emotions, couldn’t even tell if I loved my partner or anyone close to me. So he organised for me to see a therapist thru his work, and she helped me work thru the things going on in my life at the time, and we got to the root of it. I spoke to my partner about how I felt apathy and the root cause, and gradually the emotions returned. We came close to breaking up but thankfully didn’t 😅 However I still struggle to connect and understand my emotions, and still end up struggling with apathy from time to time.

[@h.e.l623]

I only recently realized I might be autistic (I'm 37.) "Hold please." was one of my most commonly used phrases growing up.

[@Annique]

This is a really important video, and EXTREMELY relateable. Last year I went through autistic burnout and I was in shutdown for much of that time. Where normally I can handle eye contact, background noise and generally the responsibilities of adult life perfectly fine, all these things became unbearably harsh stimuli. I also declined cognitively, couldn't speak or speak properly, I couldn't find words and would sound like I was confused, sound like a garbling idiot. Certainly retreated from everyone around me even loved ones. As for the appetite, well, let's just say food was a main part of that burnout, to put it mildly. It's still a tricky thing. I am doing better now, even had some weight recovery, but if I am in a situation where I don't identify any safe foods I still feel anxious, but it's manageable anxiety. When I was at my worst I would feel an intense need to go home where I had everything I needed, where everything was according to standard. Also, I DID have that attitude of "got to burn through it, got to get stuff done, I can't just not do the things", until I ground myself physically and mentally down to a point where I couldn't do it anymore, couldn't do anything. It put me out of work for months and even still I'm not fully back up to my old hours. For real, autistic burnout and shutdown is not to be taken lightly, and chronic stress in autistic people is not something to poo-poo or just "get over". Tried that, didn't get me anywhere good.

[@staceysmith4868]

Your explanation of "internal for shutdowns and external for meltdowns" is spot on for me... I understand the difference now. Thank you!!!

[@chaosfiredragon7783]

I really enjoyed this video, I can say as an adult I experience shutdowns more often than when I was younger. I found that often times you can have multiple shutdowns for various reasons that create a bigger shutdown and can be even more taxing. I have found that by having a great support structure around you really helps to bring you back faster than when you have to do it yourself.

[@angieturner3928]

I used to have more meltdowns, but I've just grown tired of living life like I am Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. I can't even muster the energy for a respectable meltdown anymore. 😂

[@FulanitoDTal-Lugar]

Mannnnnn, I'm like seriously about to fucking cry. I'm coming out of one of these right now, except I didn't know what they were. There is so much about myself I never learned because I was always taught that everything I did was wrong. For example, having a shut down was "being rude and selfish" so then I start telling myself that I'm being rude and selfish, then being too much because I can't get out of the shut down. I feel like I need to go through an entire program to unravel all the harmful lessons I was taught by NT society and learn to function autistically rather than just wondering if I'm in some sort of twisted experiment. I appreciate all the autistic advocates in the community that share this education. Thank you so much.

[@soundconjurer4380]

I am disengaging into a shutdown as we speak. The burnout and meltdowns have become exhausting in themselves. I haven't have a break in years. It's like my mind feels raw and tender, it's almost like a headache, but if I try to think or function, it's straining and deeply exhausting. I don't know how I am going to get out of this. My job is far too incessant and demanding.

[@etcwhatever]

Your examples of shutdown tell me i spend a lot of time in a shutdown state. I always knew i had a bunch of meltdowns as they are a no brainer.

[@yuriiackermann3583]

I got diagnosed about year ago and I still can’t get many things, but I understand my behaviour more. Now I know I mostly have autistic shoutdowns. Once I got a situation when I was on a meeting with my friends, because one of them had birthday. Everyone was laughing of my story that I was talking about and they didn’t let me end. Because of that I started to shake my hands and couldn’t say a word. This friend told me I am not okay that I behave badly, but I really couldn’t say I word. I was wondering, why I am so terrible friend, but now I understand that. Thank you for that channel, it really helps me understand myself. Before my therapist told me I am autistic, my psychologist said, I have depression, anxiety and OCD. Now I know it was because of the late diagnosis (I was diagnosed when I was almost 20 years old) I am curious, how my parents haven’t noticed that?

[@isabellefaguy7351]

cognitive overload is a huge shutdown trigger for me

[@johnknox9945]

I can relate to 90% of these. All I want right now is to stay consistently regulated. Not happening these days. When I can’t regulate, I always remove myself and isolate. Umph!!!!!

[@RainbowCleft]

My son, who 34 and on the spectrum lives with me and his stepfather. Is there anything that I can do to help him when he shuts down. I usually just leave him be until he's ready to interact. This can take days and I worry that backing off just makes matters worse.

[@CheekieCharlie]

My son is 13 and autistic, I'm 33 and autistic, and my 31 year old husband might be autistic. Best thing you can do is get him something to absorb into, sit next to him, tell him that it's not okay now, but it will be. Don't worry about talking to make him feel better, get him a video or movie or something he can fully immerse into to help pull him out. Good luck!

[@MrJivanMukti]

You can ask him when he’s not in shutdown or meltdown, what might help. For some, deep pressure can help, others don’t want to be touched. Certain textures might help. Usually low inputs are generally good - reduce light, sound, conversation and mental processing.

[@liamrust6126]

Im recently going through one at uni. Got a songwriting assessment and the brief is that i have to write a deeply emotional that expresses who we are with metaphorical lyrics that people can relate to and i just dont understand people and i dont know who the hell i am. i got told im in the wrong industry if i can't communicate emotions. Evaluating whether they have a point. Thank you for bringing it to light and helping me feel like less of a failure

[@Loreizia]

I have little question: Did you ever experience the feeling, like you have to break down an huge wall, just to use your voice again? For example you think and try to say something, but it feels very uncomfortable.

[@coachcastle666]

Thank you! Ill be sending this to partner now

[@itstruckmeeveryday]

Yay!!! I don’t have autistic meltdowns. I grew up in a home where I was the target of people’s bad moods and meltdowns, so I have dedicated everything in myself to not be like that.

[@meg01968]

Hard to swallow. I’m undiagnosed high masking, high performance and completely burned out and shut down much of the time …. Ugh.

[@marisa5359]

Yes...actually I am much more prone to shutdown than meltdown overall. Distress is certainly there coming from every corner of life but there is something about folding it all within to the point I can feel almost nonexistent. There are times I simply must do this.

[@madamenordica]

Sweet Baby Jesus you literally just described the last 5 years of my life! 😧😧😧

[@doroma6920]

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I was wondering if I am autistic because I never had a meltdown and wasn't sure about shutdowns. I have expirienced the things you are talking about here a thousand times! That is very reassuring! Thank you! ❤

[@akirandrake414]

Thank you! Not only does this explains somethings I could never put in to words. This explains things to people who cant understand what's going on with me.

[@marandadavis9412]

I tend to experience shut downs more often than meltdowns, Though sometimes I will experience both in sequence (shut down first and then meltdown when I get away from the source of my stress)

[@reyettac847]

What a ridiculously validating video. I never knew this was an autism thing! I have always referred to these episodes as "my brain broke". Most commonly, I get the ones you call "cognitive overwhelm". It usually happens if i'm trying to learn something new that is very complex, or doing something else that requires a lot of brainpower, and there are any external stimuli splitting my attention. There have been times where I had to just gently tell my partner or friends to leave me be and not interact at all for a little while so I can tunnel-vision what i'm working on and work through it. Other times when that's not feasible, such as out in public when strangers are the external stimuli, i'll need to just abandon what I was trying to say or do to avoid the shutdown turning into a meltdown. It's caused me a lot of trouble and I always wondered where it came from.

[@deborahbennett6544]

Thank you so much so enlightening. You are a legend 😊

[@joana.en.pyjautiste]

I thought I had no shutdowns. But I realize with your explaination I got about 7 a week. Gosh, thank you, I better understand.

[@kimsherlock8969]

I numbed out by a decision to numbing feeling emotions and physical pain Aged 10 years old . It helped me cope with bullying at school to stay strong enough. I never have turned it off .

[@conductor_dee]

I hate feeling myself shut down and go on autopilot as a front desk employee, I may have gotten all guests in quick (it was a BUSY day like unusual numbers) but I was so mentally drained it was torture 😭 No choice to go quiet or walk off. Edit: I'll say it's extremely ironic I've gotten jobs as cashier or front desk, given how much I struggle with speaking with anyone. But I do well enough that guests usually enjoy me, though usually at the cost of all my energy.

[@Astro-Markus]

Even worse when a trigger causes another. Imagine social gatherings not being already enough stress. But then try to follow a discussion with many backs and forths while you are weighing the arguments exchanged. No way you'll be able play an active role. I think, lots of decisions neurotypicals make during such situations are subconscious while autistic people do the same thing consciously. That's similar to comparing a compiler language with libraries to a purely script-based process.

[@bensabelhaus7288]

Anxiety attack vs panic attack ;) Anxiety attacks I internalize. When I'm not allowed to recover / escape the situation is when I blow up as it becomes a panic attack ;) I know general anxiety well and have a lot of experiences in the anxiety - panic transition. Anxiety attack is running late after parking in a disabled spot but can still make the appointment. Panic attack is the realization that you got off on 3 instead of 4, the other elevator is broken.... still extremely bad anxiety attack. Where's the stairwell? :Kicks broken elevator and melts down There's the panic attack. But it's not over yet, still gotta escape the facility. You go back down and security is dressed for downtown Iraq and heading up .... F f f f f

[@BrickNewton]

For me: Anxiety attack- knowing that I have to do something/be somewhere and over thinking it and thinking of all the bad things that could happen or how will I say something wrong or do the wrong thing before the event. Panic attack: something that happens out of the blue that stresses me out. Such as I have asked to do something and when I go to do it I realize I'm not sure what I'm doing and panic as everyone seems to be able to do it why can't I...then I stress that they will think I'm useless or stupid and have a panic attack.

[@MultiMoodGamer]

I've been in a shutdown after years long battle with benzodiazepine abuse after being bullied in school everyday for 5 years, the withdrawal lasted years. When the withdrawal was over, i thought i could move on with my life. But then the looping thoughts began two things that happened when i was 19 and 20, these two things loop in my mind every day and sometimes convince me im the sick and most depraved person alive. That i am lesser of a human and i deserve to be treated as such. Other times it's the opposite, i think to myself, how did i not end up worse?, all the trauma that i was put through, being bullied, drug abuse, being manipulated and taken advantage of, getting put in vulnerable situations by my manipulative friend and trying my hardest to avert disasters. I believe no one will ever understand my story and it pains me so much.

[@SG-77]

Thank you. This is a very helpful video for me. I never realised how much I do shut down. I've always run away from and avoided things when they get too overwhelming. I never realised that this was part of shutting down. I'm always seeking quiet time alone. This is especially important for me, being a single parent of two young boys who I suspect may be autistic and or adhd too.

[@silverninja5218]

Shirt tags are the bane of my existence. I hate when they brush up on my neck, giving me a shiver.

[@danielaruhl1710]

Thank you so much for explaining the topic of autistic shutdowns that well, Orion. Not only am I learning to understand myself better and better, this video really helps me to get what my daughter is struggeling with right now. This world is not made for us and the sheer existence in it costs that much energy that I sometimes wonder if it‘s all worth it … Sorry, don‘t want to give depressed vibes, I am just still looking for a place where living might be a little bit more easy and natural for me and my family. Hang in there my fellow neurodivergent people, it might be somewhere … 🌈❤

[@ADHDForever]

Insightful yet again. You’ve described this 48 yr old undiagnosed person perfectly. This ep and your prior one on Hidden Austic traits (2-2). Countless moments in my life (as child & an adult) where it’s like my brain shuts down, leaving me stuck, seemingly frozen. When the signals start to re-fire or the “buffer” catches up I’m back to normal, however often the moments past and you then get criticised for not paying attention, being withdrawn or detached or my favourites - lacking self awareness and emotion. Clearly it’s quite the opposite in fact!

[@jeannieboles6173]

The hold please has been my worst stumble with humanity. I have had so many hearing tests in my youth because i was asked a question and said "What?" because i needed a moment. My brain was not translating the thing said.

[@batintheattic7293]

We need help. I think I understand, now. These shut-downs - sometimes they go on for many years. By the time we realise that we've been fermenting a serious problem we're already a long way gone. And serious time distortion (things that happened years ago, at the start of the problem, feel like they happened days ago like we're in stasis or something) means that we can be a very long way down the line before we notice. So, I think it's urgent that health professionals and neuroscientists start talking about the phenomenon. If it's not the same as a deep, long depression - it needs a specialised therapy. Maybe, we need somebody who can tell us that a major change has taken place in such a way that it properly registers before we stray too wildly from reality. Somebody who can help us adjust as quickly as possible.

[@samiko6091]

.............wow diagnosed at 39 looking back with this info it explains SO much!!! Even now!

[@lisawanderess]

"I'm done"... my two most commonly uttered words 😂

[@polythewicked]

I think I’ve been in shutdown mode for the last 2 years off and on. Mostly on. I went through an extreme amount of emotional trauma and betrayal over a 3 year period and at some point, I’d had enough and was just done with people.

[@x3SayuriChan]

It makes so much sense to me now. I used to have frequent meltdowns before I got enrolled in school. But once I got into school they abruptly stopped. I can only remember two instances since school where I had a meltdown. Great right? WRONG. The reason why they stopped is because whenever I had a meltdown then people would flock around me. Especially if they didn’t know me. Either screaming at me or trying to console me. Everything that was making me even more stressed out. So I instead had lots of shutdowns once I got into school. I withdrew myself as often as I could. Would go to the bathroom really frequently to escape whatever stressful situation. But bottling up all those feelings wasn‘t making it any easier. Oh no absolutely not easier. It got much worse. Shutdowns are more dangerous imo. If you can‘t let those feelings of severe distress out somewhere then you‘ll eventually burst and break. Happened to me. And cleaning up the mess takes a really long time.

[@Catlily5]

Yeah, I would run to the bathroom in school so no one could see me cry.

[@ShepardfortheLord]

Thank you, very informative.

[@rebeckajarl3934]

Thank for putting words on my experiences!

[@scowlsmcjowls2626]

Congrats my man your at the cutting edge of awarenss that is needed for ppl🎉

[@coolqh]

Yes, this happens to me and I finally have the explaination, diagnosed this year at 46.

[@avgirlaustintx]

happened to me after having to do a presentation at my kid's school. I had meltdowns before and afterwards I basically just shut down. Stuff that usually makes me happy I didn't want anything to do with. I just wanted to be alone on the couch watching mindless tv...

[@thenixer8968]

This was really helpful Orion, thank you.

[@SuzieM338]

Thank you for sharing on this subject; it’s exactly what I was hoping you would delve into more so I can help my loved ones understand it better. Another spin off of this one could be ways to go into meltdown to re-regulate yourself that are helpful. I find just going to my safe space, being cozy with a book or phone to watch a show, or even just sleeping when it’s that bad, is what helps me most. Im usually right as rain after a half day to a full day.

[@nancymello5246]

I live in an apt. and i can't get proper sleep due to noisy neighbors. I'm in a constant state of shutdown due to exhaustion; i dont know what to do.

[@Idkanythingrlly]

Ear plugs help me to sleep at night or block out noise during the day. I also put a fan on to create white noise.There are also bluetooth headphones that can be worn like a headband. Some of them have an eye mask included in the design. I misplaced mine,but they were very helpful. I used to listen to white noise,the ocean, or nature sounds. Although earplugs are great if you just want silence. I've learned this stuff living in apartments for about 10 years now, although I didn't know I was autistic most of those years.

[@Catlily5]

Earplugs helped me a lot too. Thankfully I found a quieter apartment now so I don't usually need them anymore.

[@pintsizedprincess1919]

You have it so right. I am like a computer, i shut down and take ages to reboot. I wish people would understand this. Thanks Orion

[@PJtRyPlays]

I hate this coping mechanism why would I want to relive past traumatic experiences 😭

[@EmperorZaph1512]

A series of repeated shutdowns among other traits killed my relationship of 6 years. It ended just this morning. The fact that I dissociate under stress and cant meet her expectations doomed it. My personality quirks were too much for her to handle to the point she legitimately suffered for it, and told me straight to my face that I would not ever be a good husband or father. Im inclined to believe she was right. In no uncertain terms is this a curse.

[@fumtastic4101]

ill be working on line at taco bell and well bve super busy for a while and ill just stop talking and stop listening. just look at the screen and make the food. because somehow the thing stressing me also helps with the stress

[@user-bt6id7ql2n]

Your videos are so helpful to finally understanding my brain and life. Thank you.

[@bokusimondesu]

On my second week of seclusion, burned out and shutdown. Can't be bothered meeting people outside. Glad that I got sober 3½ years ago. It sure would have been ugly had I not. 😅

[@rebeckajarl3934]

Sensory overload are triggers for me, to much excitement can also be, to much.