Using the ‘Even-If’ Method to Help Kids Cope With Anxiety

[@mommybreakdown]

I use “then what?” with my kiddos to help them continue the story, which is pretty much the same thing, but I like “even if” better. Thank you for your channel. I’m an educator, and I’d love to go back to school one day for psychology or neuroscience because I realized that I’m so passionate about understanding the brain and helping people.

[@DoctorJacque]

You're welcome! Thank you for watching and being here. "Then what?" can be great for helping kids better understand their fears and to uncover the likelihood of their fears coming true, which is usually not all that often or not all that bad. I like the "even if" as a repeatable in-the-moment skill because it's something you can pre-plan and prepare for.

[@MohamedIbrahim-e5k]

Thank You, Jacque!

[@AnastasiiaVolkovinska]

Thank you for this video, I am 21 and don’t have kinds, but it helps me know to deal with my own anxiety and bad feelings🤍

[@janetpogue4970]

Thank you

[@DoctorJacque]

You're welcome - glad to have you here!

[@Nicolas_0456]

Hello! I just found your channel. Thank you for this video! I have agoraphobia with panic disorder. I know CBT. I recently read Klaus Bernhardt's book about anxiety, and apparently, CBT might not be the key for everyone. He says it's effective at the beginning of a disorder. But what if I'm agoraphobic since a few years? I tried CBT. I think it's quite hard and extremely slow. I think I first need to change the way I think. Because everything starts in the brain. If I had no thoughts, or only positive thoughts, I wouldn't be agoraphobic. I wouldn't be an anxious guy. I wouldn't have panic attacks. So I don't know what to think about CBT anymore. Some psychologists, therapists, psychiatrists say CBT is the only way, but I'm not convinced. Maybe CBT would be effective if my brain wasn't so negative...

[@DoctorJacque]

Thanks for watching! Working on the thoughts is one part of the CBT model. In CBT, taking action to face the fears, called exposures, is also a large part of it. And you're right doing exposures can be very hard. Research data suggests that a minimum of 12-16 weeks of CBT is usually what's needed to see improvement, so it does take time. You are also right that CBT isn't for everyone. Data on CBT for child anxiety suggests that it's effective for about 60-70% of kids. While that's great, we do still have work to do to find out what's needed for the other 30-40% that it's not as helpful for.

[@Nicolas_0456]

@@DoctorJacque Hello! Thank you very much for your comment! I tried CBT several times, and I can feel full of hope and energy today and be the exact opposite tomorrow. It's quite hard to feel motivated each day. Especially when I don't see big positive results. And no one supports me. It's hard to be out of my comfort zone. And even if I decided to go out of my comfort zone, I don't know exactly how long I should stay there and how many exposures would be necessary per week. I'm not 100% convinced it would help me. I overcame agoraphobia and panic attacks when I was younger. But I didn't know it would come back a few years later. Someday I'll be bold enough to face it again 😄🙂

[@Imana23]

For some reason it for work for my 9 year old. She is in the 4th grade and she doesn’t like her teacher. She is scared of her. Every morning she we struggle to go to school. I tried “then what”, “ even if” she still in the same state of mind. Don’t know what else to say or do. Everyday same thing.

[@chelseybrown14]

Hello, I found your channel when researching separation anxiety tips for kids. I have a 3 and 6 y/o who both struggle with separation anxiety. My 6 y/o also has a lot of anxiety (no signs of ADHD yet) and lately has had a lot of trouble falling and staying asleep. I watched all your videos and found some great tips. Very curious to know what helped your younger daughter sleep better (in your weighted blanket video you mentioned you found something that worked). Thank you!!!

[@DoctorJacque]

Glad to have you here! I actually have a video coming out this week on fears of the dark - which has some tips for other things I did with my younger daughter. Stay tuned! 😊

[@TM15HAKRN]

Ya nice Pl.tell us What to do With their low self esteem 😢 And How to make them understand their behaviour is Embarrassing....😮???

[@7secondstomeet]

The child is struggling and you are worried about how it embarrasses YOU?

[@TM15HAKRN]

To each his own She hasn't replied to my first query Too So whoever you are You don't know what Struggle or why we ask So...as they say Each his own... Nd It would be nice if you'd be kind to answer my first question so we'd know As we all struggling and you seem balanced dear..and can retort in any way Thanks for replying Pl answer query too You seem highly enlightened in knowledge..so help If you have time to question you I am sure know all answers

[@7secondstomeet]

@@TM15HAKRN im not understanding you much but everyone knows children can behave in a way that may embarrass the adults. However the primary concern should be to worry about why the child is struggling and how to help them. I honestly couldn’t care less how embarrassing it is if my son acts erratic, over the top, sensitive or does any other socially unacceptable thing. As i know he is struggling and my main concern is how he is feeling and how i can help him feel better and express his feelings better. Of course these things are embarrassing but I certainly don’t care if he knows that. I prefer he didnt think about that because that would just make him hate himself more. Most kids know that they are acting unacceptable and have anxiety about that but most of the times they can’t control it so KNOWING that its embarrassing only makes their anxiety worse on the matter. My main concern would be to help them regulate and not hate themselves because they are acting “embarrassingly”.

[@TM15HAKRN]

@@7secondstomeet Thanks dear

[@TM15HAKRN]

@7secondstomeet Ofcoz All that has passed... I want kind lady to make a video on how younger ladies who have kids of that age Can cope up without misunderstanding the kid who has such issues..they are so brilliant..yet they don't know Blessed they are..with all talent they possess..but don't know due to their episodic memory....we have to constantly remind them..