Using Time In Instead of Time Out

[@tabathazsigray8490]

used time in for 18 years and it works!

[@whirledpeasfursure7320]

Beautifully said, thanks

[@Vania.Carolinaa]

Loved this!!

[@overarainbowov7520]

Brilliant!

[@Yojatram]

Wow!! This is brilliant.

[@publictoilet1970]

I love this method

[@debbiebrazendale6090]

my TAFE Teacher teaches this technique...wow she is really on the right path to build connection, thank you Angela

[@chatterjeelinda4]

Sometimes Mom needs a time to calm down too.

[@TheAzerbijian]

Yes! Though I wouldn’t use the word, “wrong.” Perhaps ask the child to think about how they could have chosen a way to act or speak that would work for them better?

[@lindicromhout3733]

hi. i have a 2 year old that we are currently in the process of fostering. he was abused, he cannot speak except for the few words we are teaching him now and was never socialised - only been in school now for 5 months, poor exposure to the world and different environments. how do i handle his bad behaviour as at school he is an angel but when home he doesnt listen to anything, time out doesnt work as he screams with no tears when we put him in his room only to come out few seconds later to start all over again

[@LearnGrowChange24]

How do I implement "time in" with a toddler who can't reason yet and tell me what they did wrong and how to do it right?

[@amydondalski3078]

You have to calmly tell them what they did wrong. See if they can answer you when you ask what is the right way. If not, then kindly tell them what is the right way, so that they can learn.

[@SwampLeech0302]

I handle it the same way Amy does. I kneel at eye level and tell them what they did wrong and talk with them to see if they understand

[@anthonyi784]

Beat it into them?

[@samisparkleheart]

Great question and tips! 😊

[@Artsrock36]

I hear what your saying but what about the child who does not respond to this?

[@farhangnow1050]

agree

[@LearnGrowChange24]

How do I use this for toddlers who don't understand the discussion and they are throwing a tantrum?

[@anitagifford9523]

You use more of the the behavior matching and playful interaction. Time In is a great time to use healthy touch to practice self regulation.

[@chatterjeelinda4]

Hug them. Or lay down next to them. Be with them. Face it - you could not make them stay away, or actually make them do anything in the midst of a tantrum anyway could you? So just go with it. Give them the words they need to express their feelings. "looks like you're really sad/frustrated/angry because you really want(ed)..." Soon they will say "yes" with tears and sadness, and you have a connection with them. Now, trouble-shoot with them e.g "Do you want to tell Sissy you;re sorry you broke her toy?" , "Do you want to come back to the park tommorow?"

[@michaeljherd]

Unfortunately, there is no research base to what is described as ‘time in’. It’s important that parents are aware of this. There have been no trials where it has been demonstrated to be effective. It is purely a concept that is waiting for one of its proponents to test its efficacy. Let’s hope someone chooses to do that. If shown to be effective, it could then be shared with confidence.

[@Sweaterchicken]

Time out where they can see us is very effective at getting our son to calm down. Super Nanny strategy FTW

[@amaya_hop]

pov your watching this for child development in school

[@rinaecotton9337]

Okay so I have several issues with this. There are consequences for things we do. I feel like teaching them this is not getting them reality, for example if you are at work and you do something wrong or let's say your pissed off at work,your boss isn't going to sit down and say I recognize that your mad and upset. Let's work through your feelings. Nor are they going to say it's okay to be angry, I support you in your anger. This strategy is not realistic. Children need to understand there is consequences to I'll behavior, having a time out gives them a chance to redirect their behavior or anxiety in another direction. My son was in time out last week. I sat outside the door for the three minutes and I heard him in there looking at his books saying I love books, they are fun. I'm just not sure I'm on board.

[@birdwatcher287]

So, all this advice is for children who come from hard places. If your kid is biologically yours parenting is a different ball game.

[@kimdavies5827]

Gordon Neufeld states that any kind of separation based discipline is not good.

[@whatsactuallygoingon5986]

What world are u in woman .... toddlers need time out to calm down... giving attention to negative behaviour =more negative behaviour... ur house must be CHAOS

[@rinaecotton9337]

Agreed!!! I was sent to my room for time outs and was sent go my room alone, if my kid is being completely disobedient and I've firmly warned them 3 times before time out happens... this is an invitation for children to not understand direct consequences.. and come on let's face it when your child is being completely obnoxious and you gave them opportunity to change and they're still refusing with the same behavior, being away from your child for 3 minutes and allowing them to regroup isn't emotionally damaging them.... it's showing them.consequences happen as a result of behavior... this let's talk about I'm right her is a bunch of crap... sometimes juuust sometimes you don't want to speak to your child when they're acting out. This is utter insanity!! Just another pat on the back and another future adult who will be unprepared when life kicks them in the ass and they suddenly realize not everyone is going to want to pull them aside to express their emotions and feeling...completely assinign!!!

[@jimmyearlworld8614]

Omg thank you I know! I’m reading all the positive comments thinking I’m doing something wrong. I used to work with kids on the spectrum and this sounds like it is just positively reinforcing negative behaviors.

[@anthonyi784]

You do timeouts and your house is chaos. Think about that.

[@birdwatcher287]

She is a world where she dealt with severely traumatized kids.This is parenting techniques for kids that come from hard places.

[@gracecazneau6307]

You realize this is written for foster children or parents who have children from backgrounds who have history of neglect (extensive time out, isolation), so that's the basis of this thesis