Mating with Everything that Moves in Crusader Kings II

[@iSorrowproductions]

I haven't talked to my dad in 15 year, It's good to see he's doing well.

[@f.palmero5010]

Me too.

[@BruhBruh-nt1xl]

When I last saw him, he said that he's buying milk

[@nilsneier5558]

Hey son

[@f.palmero5010]

@@nilsneier5558 daddy?

[@adelahsan7432]

hes just gone to get beer

[@IvanSidaruk]

“Let’s focus on any woman with a pulse” *next video* “We need to EXPAND our horizons, any woman, dead or alive.”

[@ocyra2590]

You're to close minded... that tree stump looks pretty thicc.

[@seelcudoom1]

"alright necrophilia wasent enough, lets get that fanfic magic and get the men pregnant

[@Enchie]

@@seelcudoom1 And have them give birth out of their dicks! Yes, I did that just to see men suffer.

[@Princeofbelka]

Ива́н Васи́льевич not only the men but the women and children too

[@vxvian]

Zoophilia is not enough! You need Protogent!

[@darkwingduke1631]

he's reached the point where he is so fertile he reproduces by spore cloud

[@eracer166]

So basically the way fish do it but airborne

[@darkwingduke1631]

@@eracer166 When a remotely alive female is in the general area he releases a massive white cloud

[@XenosImplyer]

He is an Ork now.

[@darkwingduke1631]

@@XenosImplyer He is Ork+

[@samuelbousfield4342]

HEZ DA REEL ORK BOSS DA GREATEST BOSS EVA.

[@Valefisk]

A Chance for Slavomir, Captain of Gondor, to Show his Quality

[@f.palmero5010]

And his Dk

[@zoranivanov3840]

Valefisk can u bring communism in cruseider kings I wanna se a gulag in medieval time

[@DelightfulTyrant]

You still make videos? I thought this was a dead channel so I unsubbed.

[@Ace_011]

I had a high chief of Poland have a son named Drogomir, he became the first wendish emperor

[@MrShadowtruth]

great vid but your voice kind of sounds muffled like it's coming from some distance away.

[@mikavituhandle]

"any woman with a pulse" this is discrimination towards dead women!

[@powerthunfischdesdonners3086]

well, who said he didnt try?

[@stygian8049]

Only women? How about female being?

[@inciacci549]

Necrophilia is easy!

[@timpyrules]

Can you imagine how much one must drink when they have 10 children and 20 lovers but their alcohol abuse is what they are known for

[@bathshebahubber614]

anything to ease the constant post-nut pain

[@isaacmayer-splain8974]

@@bathshebahubber614 those are some TF2 demoman levels of drinking. And he replaced his guts with a booze factory to stay permanently drunk!

[@fukkthisnewupdate8882]

@@isaacmayer-splain8974 he did? God I love tf2

[@arafdi]

"... going through the entirety of the female single market in Europe..." I mean, I'm sure that *wasn't* what the European leaders envisioned when they made the European single market...

[@GandWizard]

...but it's a nice byproduct nevertheless!

[@rephaelkurziner6522]

Genghis khan: finally a worthy opponent!

[@theemperorschosen7607]

OUR BATTLE WILL BE LEGENDARY!

[@spencerhamilton2557]

Anything fleshy: ono

[@theemperorschosen7607]

@@spencerhamilton2557 Fleshly? Nah, lust Argonian maid 2 electric boogaloo!

[@eldrenofthemist2492]

@The Nova renaissance What about Solumen. It was said in the Bible that he had over a 1000 Wives and Concubines. :3

[@Jack-iv1ed]

He mounted everything that moved tho

[@whynot-tomorrow_1945]

"Hey babe, just so you know, I invited a few friends to come over. I hope you don't mind." * 1,126 single women show up *

[@zanolsena]

There is something fitting about Vale using "Tip of the Spear" from the Halo: Reach soundtrack at the end of this video. ISP's Dad was certainly using the tip of his spear.

[@janczy9206]

''Taking any line from this video out of context is gonna sound horrible'' -Valefisk 2020

[@pedrolmlkzk]

Specially this one tbqh

[@owlblocksdavid4955]

I watched the entire video (my gosh, I watched the entire video?!) in context and the quotes still sound horrible xD

[@alicestolze8327]

I can't believe he fucking said that my god what a horrible person

[@yarinoi8662]

Ew, god, what a weirdo.

[@C00kiesAplenty]

"Why would I want to make the horse immortal?" Makes the horse immortal.

[@isaacmayer-splain8974]

Why would you not make the horse immortal?

[@danwolf6076]

An immortal steed, for the immortal lord!

[@troudbalos]

Make the horse your bishop then marry him! HORSE CHILDREN!!

[@exitioregem8466]

"...are we farming them", idk bro, looks like its you who is being milked here

[@lazerninjastudios9827]

Is every single time Vale leaves for weeks just another trip to the Hague for warcrime trials?

[@lazerninjastudios9827]

I have been liked by Vale my life is now complete. Time to commit tax fraud and end this life off on a high note

[@Azure_Razgriz]

The answer to your question is Yes. I have seen him more than a hundred times in our courts. The only reason he gets off the hook is that he bribes me, the Scottish representative, with copious amounts of alcohol.

[@Liuhuayue]

@@lazerninjastudios9827 Senpai noticed you!

[@Spoon80085]

My man single handedly caused a population spike

[@MrOrangeJoe]

Single duckedly?

[@RingshadowCat]

"Fuck it we're making the horse immortal" and it was at that point I lost my shit.

[@bokybok3558]

"Let me talk without giving birth!" -Valefisk 2020

[@wojak-sensei6424]

Imagine fucking your way into owning Italy.

[@Sam-dc1hz]

"Mating with Everything that Moves in Crusader Kings II" Me: Thats my chance! Finally!

[@Blackstormeagle]

The Virgin English Ratboys vs The Chad Bohemian Thatchers

[@do-nothingbear9474]

At 15600% fertility you can make men preganant

[@its_dippy6779]

"I accidentally married a Bulgarian Princess"- Valefisk, 8th Century

[@LynxHylix]

This isnt Hoi4 in a nutshell wtf

[@teddy5752]

LynxHylix I see your on the hoi4 train as well

[@Enzo_honey]

Pathetic I only play hoi3

[@Vlad-mt7hu]

Lieutenant Enzy I play hoi2 CHECKMATE

[@owlblocksdavid4955]

This is what hoi4 is like for me. What game have you been playing?

[@dandhiari7144]

@@Enzo_honey YEAH!

[@jameshamlyn2177]

Now we know where the incels from stellaris came from

[@alphariusfuze8089]

*That's heresy*

[@wizardofaus7013]

This should have been labeled “Consensual Genghis Khan Simulator”

[@maleexile9053]

Charlemagne simulator

[@miles6492]

I love how Valefisk never realized that you can edit what messages show up as the scrolls or in the log and just soldiered through.

[@quinn4968]

Woman: *Dies of stress* Vale: "You think your stressed?"

[@seelcudoom1]

"the bubonic plague cant kill us all if we keep popping out more kids"

[@Nothing-1w3]

Innocent youtuber makes a video KZbin:DEMONTIZED!! Valefisk makes a video about dropping napalm, shooting with heavy tanks and other frontline weaponry at Hong Kong protesters. KZbin: I pretend I didn't see that...

[@Hamsterdami]

+4500 Ducets (Chinese Sponsor)

[@thejamman4070]

In all fairness, China probably gives money for that.

[@anarchyandempires5452]

"111! Holy shit we have 111 children!" Well Genghis Khan had 125, so it's not so impossible.

[@Jack-iv1ed]

Probably everyone in continental Asia is related to genghis

[@intelligencecube6752]

@@Jack-iv1ed meanwhile, some guy from canada just flew into an airport in Kazakhstan and immediately got jumped for not being related to the great khan.

[@edwardzero9275]

Building the Habsburg 2: Electric Boogaloo

[@premasafar7813]

As a Bohemian, I can say this is 100% historically accurate.

[@PauloGarcia-sp5ws]

Someone with the patience of a saint needs to do this and go from the oldest start to the latest start.

[@Cascade_Failure]

As if medieval Europe wasn't enough of a warzone of successions between two potential heirs, let alone the offspring of more than 500!!!

[@unlimitedpanda5433]

There's a mod that removes all other male characters from the game so that you can do this. Heard that from a friend...

[@bonogiamboni4830]

Fun fact: pharaoh ramses II, aka ozymandias, was isp's dad in real life. He had around 200 kids, most of which illegitimate, and died at the ripe old age of about 95, which for ancient world standards is a fucking baller move (hell, even nowadays 95 is seen as pretty much more than you could realistically hope for). So yeah, weirdly enough this whole episode does have a historical precedent.

[@Jhrickgamer]

"where are we even storing them" that was for sure the best sentence in this video

[@procyon6445]

“Any woman with a pulse” damn valefisk way to single people out smh. Where my necrophilia boys at?

[@toasterofdoom9629]

Here- *arrested by the FBI*

[@evann5]

Dude is playing as a hentai protag wtf i'm buying this game

[@PersonalAccountTom]

I think it's free rn. Just the dlcs are not.

[@FrederikSeerupNielsen]

There may be a cough cough different way to get them for free

[@MoonPatch]

"How does Santa make it to every house?" Well you see, he spends the rest of the year backwards long jumping into a corner to build up speed-

[@GandWizard]

17:01 "Needless to say, it's a little bit of a mess down here." Truer words were never spoken...

[@davyhurst8968]

This man outbred the bubonic plague.

[@mcsquizzy440]

"The King's Brothel" is the name of the large building dedicated to.... Well we know.

[@ComfortsSpecter]

“And that’s how ISP, organizer of artillery only divisions and taker of children was born” “The identity of his true mother is unknown to this day”

[@ViscountAlexOfTheHorsePeople]

Queen Victoria: I'm the grandmother of Europe. Niels Thatcher: Bish please.

[@sarkhan_guy]

Oh my favorite confessions channel on KZbin. Let’s start the day with some Warcrimes or Morally wrong actions.

[@B1smarkk]

10:50 Don't you just hate when you accidently marry princess from Bulgaria.

[@mystic_spider]

"Let me talk without giving birth, goddammit!"-Valefisk, 2020.

[@instantddeath5029]

Ah yes, the Genghis Khan simulator

[@miauwuff3854]

I love that you get to a point where you have to think of your children as percentages.

[@NielsMulvad]

I did an achievement run like 5 months ago, and at the last generations all I did was spread my seed. Managed to get almost 40 children with one lad, that was fun. I was planning on doing a hausberg game, no wars just breed to win next.

[@archsteel7]

"Oops, I own Italy" is one of the most fucking CK2 things I've ever heard

[@subparusername9172]

ISP: I can’t it’s racist Valefisk: Even better

[@lolmaster438]

This guy could effectively conquer the whole world with just his children, true units of an army and diplomacy 😂

[@owenmachinecarbine6023]

"Are we farming them?" Well you are planting your seed soooo

[@Cheater5445]

Animal:*makes a step* Valefisk: A move is a move

[@jepp6419]

" *makes a step* "

[@Cheater5445]

@@jepp6419 prepare your ass you poor man

[@zachm9202]

You made your character so fertile all he has to do is just brush against a woman and he has to pay child support.

[@SpiderClaw0com]

Impregnate as many men as possible CK2 Challenge.

[@Sallafar]

"Offspring"? Man, you're dwelling in realms where the appropriate term would be "Litter"

[@balintvasvari7573]

"How does he able to go into each one every night?" *-Valefisk, 2020*

[@rexcentx2254]

Damn, Valefisk really spent so much time clicking on fertility but the maximum is 300 % anyway.

[@JohnGAME]

As someone who lives in the Czech Republic (Bohemia + Moravia + Silesia) I can confirm that this is basically how it works here. Come join our *mating cult* any time!

[@lewisvargrson]

Being that you wanted your character to go after all the ladies, I think Niels Snatcher would have been a more appropriate name.

[@darykeng]

*The Habsburgs wants to know your location*

[@emil3801]

thank god you exist Vale, your shenanigans never stop being fun

[@Lauren-ny9pe]

nillsputin, bohemia's greatest love machine

[@dmitri5214]

5:31 you cheeky, cheeky boi. I see what you did there.

[@ajrobbins368]

Asia Austria Australia "Austrasia" 18:58

[@dist0rt3dhum0r]

The moment I saw this alert in my youtube notifications I thought to myself "This is the kind of quality content I subscribe to Valefisk for.".

[@CatTheRoundEarther]

8:50 at this point you have more women in your court then there are men in your barracks.

[@ObligedUniform]

"I'll find another" - Lord Niels Thatcher (Frey)

[@ngngye]

Vid went public 2 minutes ago and Vale’s already planning an atrocity

[@catsndogs98]

Europe isn’t enough to contain or satisfy this man. It’s time for a *WORLD TOUR*

[@Choppytehbear1337]

Next video: "Mating with anything that moves as a tentacle monster."

[@YungCoomer]

Crusader Kings II: Walter Frey simulator

[@kafeelshah792]

finally a new video from my favourite KZbinr.

[@austinkaylor8084]

This reminds me of a darkthrone song. "Five million women, so alone in the night. I had them all satisfied, profusely, every night by myself"

[@burnedfreedom]

The Genghis Khan of Europe: Niels Thatcher

[@Molsam88]

Nils: Welcome to my harem!

[@hehe8138]

This is evidence that real life is a paradox game. King Solomon was just meta-Valefisk trying to beat a record.

[@AceWolf456]

Alternative title: More prolific than Gangis Kahn

[@tomasburian5082]

As a Czech, this Sunni coat of arms really offends me

[@asnekboi7232]

It’s a joke bro

[@TheMrFu]

boo fucking hoo

[@TheMrFu]

boo fucking hoo

[@TheMrFu]

boo fucking hoo

[@TheMrFu]

boo fucking hoo

[@DCGMatthew1]

Sounds like my daily life, hahaha, that's why I'm in jail. Please, someone break me out.

[@stupidperson9250]

No

[@thesecutor]

stupid person But he said please

[@stupidperson9250]

@@thesecutor No

[@jovideos7546]

The Hapsburg's have nothing on the mighty Thatcherz

[@Longshanks1690]

Walder Frey Simulator 2020.

[@tomastrmata5481]

I dont think you should make fun of names, when your neighbour can be named Dick, Cuthbert, Winterbottom or Glasscock. :D

[@abg5381]

Neils Thatcher ringing a hand bell and walking into the 1milex1milex1mile hypercube of stone bedchambers stacked ontop of eachother and preparing for a days work with the same look in his eye as Jeremy Hunt as he sees an old woman ready to be pushed down an escalator.

[@jesseludtke9655]

Him after three years is like zap branagan in futurism in the Amazon episode, just “please I need rest, my spirit is willing but my flesh is spongey and bruised”

[@LauchBoi]

today on things you always wanted to try in CK2 but thought it would be insane and waste of time. Thank you for this public service

[@terrorist-chan7866]

Now this is the quality content I signed up for

[@jonaszilinskas7971]

What the roasted pickle Valefisk, I just finished the Stellaris Incel video and you upload this!

[@omppusolttu5799]

"Let me talk without giving birth goddangit" -Valefisk 2020

[@alicestolze8327]

Black Death: *Kills a third of Europe* Niels Thatcher: My time has come

[@morganmason5356]

Val: I didn’t mean to own Italy...it just kind of happened.

[@tonhaogamergranudo]

And thus House Frey is born.

[@Solll0]

Now where have i've seen this one before. (looks at previous ck2 video)

[@c3sxxzxxz726]

Karel the play boy of the medieval ages

[@orcwordlaugh1360]

I love that he censored the name of his own Dad, then used ISP's prominently in the video.

[@rossbradburn9760]

And they said you can't play a bard in a grand strategy game. You proved them wrong!

[@bruceluiz]

Now imagine if every single one of those children were DEMON CHILD...

[@dragroch5536]

You can make a religion out of this.