Age of Empires II, But I Build NO UNITS

[@Valefisk]

Today I'm Temporarily Bringing Back my Twitch Channel for Meme Purposes: www.twitch.tv/valefisk We're starting an EU4 stream in about 45 minutes. Come Spam My Chat

[@tinpan6052]

This isnt a warcrime, who are you and what did you do to da REAL valefisk. _.

[@sekliley7587]

Valefisk you should try command and conquer generals, there is chemical warfare and even a general entirely based around it. Oh and also nukes and space lasers

[@ericquiabazza2608]

You see Valefisk, the real reason you loose was because you weren't using the SPANISH 😁

[@TriggoViggo]

sorry for asking but I got banned by Dom on your discord server and I was just wondering why?

[@ol_fortune9474]

Villagers: so... where's the soldiers to defend our base? Valefisk: YOU are the soldier to defend your base.

[@mordador2702]

"But Comrade Valefisk, i have no weapon!" "Then build yourself one!"

[@Nugire]

@@mordador2702 Spanish villagers: "Excuse me, is this some kind of peasent joke I'm too supremacy to understand?"

[@lukaskubik4698]

Can you win with only buildings : Yes Can Valefisk win with only buildings : Well yes, but actually no.

[@oedipusrex353]

He can, but he won't.

[@gestaltengine6369]

If this video taught me anything is that the Maginot line should have been a Maginot field.

[@silveredbullet802]

Generals with superweapons.

[@PANZERFAUST90]

durrdurr

[@dudeistpreist5721]

Persian douchebag. Spanish supremacist. Or Japanese towers. Yes. It sucks and difficult but possible. Or you can get all relics or a wonder. Goodluck.

[@gejamugamlatsoomanam7716]

You can't spell manslaughter without laughter

[@craniusdominus8234]

Nor funeral without fun

[@Crankiebox99]

@@craniusdominus8234 coffin dance noises intensifies*

[@unocualqu1era]

one manslaughter is another man's laughter

[@dudeistpreist5721]

The hard and hardest ai do cheat by giving themselves resources. But I think that's only if you're doing better than them.

[@jaybonn5973]

Wait why the hell does slaughter turn into laughter. This is why I hate English lol

[@davidmullally4792]

Ah, another daily dose of "Man desperately tries to play a strategy game which he hasn't touched in years"

[@TeleportingBread161]

What will valefisk do today?: - Meta Tower rush build orders to own the hardest AI - Has no idea what he is doing whatsoever. But at least towers

[@timothymclean]

At least he picked a simple strategy for his first game.

[@MisterBlaargh]

11:30 ''We're down to three AI'' Something you want to tell us Valefisk?

[@maplesyrup6529]

Can you explain the joke?

[@bobjohnson7716]

@@maplesyrup6529 because if you look there is only 2 ai and also valefisk so there are 3 players left including him

[@penisinlargementpills2511]

crazy foreshadowing

[@trygveplaustrum4634]

Valefisk: *permanently losing, until he wins.*

[@herbalyzoltan409]

Every MC tbh

[@tobin9575]

Doesn'T know you can garrison vills in towers, doesnt know bombard towers exist and can kill siege, doesn't tower rush in feudal, no castle drops on tc's so much potential. And reads a game thread from 2013...

[@jerrymartin7019]

Gotta start somewhere my dude

[@tobin9575]

@@jerrymartin7019 no disrespect ofc as long as he has fun fine. But it just hurt a little to watch him struggle when tower cheese is the best way to beat the ai

[@kartiksaraf4676]

No bombard tower ever killed a Siege Ram. It does 1 damage per cannon and Siege Rams have 270 HP. Plus trebs and bombard cannons outrange it

[@tobin9575]

@@kartiksaraf4676 well that's what villagers are for

[@kartiksaraf4676]

Yup what's life without a few villagers sacrificed to destroy rams

[@pencilgaming1233]

Fun fact: if you remove and add some letters and rearrange the word "Warcrimes", the word turns into "Valefisk".

[@HullsColby]

Fun fact: if you turn a word into "Valefisk" it will be spelled and sound like "Valefisk".

[@pencilgaming1233]

@@HullsColby that works

[@TilenŠmid]

No, tebe pa res nisem pričakoval.

[@luansagara]

"warcrime" and "valefisk" both have the same number of letters

[@redreboot483]

@@pencilgaming1233 7

[@jaeusa160]

@21:15 A favored tactic of domestic housecats. "If I stick my head in this box, and can't see them. Then they can't see me!"

[@no-rd5tn]

the endgame plan step 1: boat away step 2: hide in a ruined city step 3: secretly build a wonder of the world step 4: distract siege weapons for 300 years step 5: profit ?

[@brantodb01]

This isn't T90

[@Choppytehbear1337]

**FOREST NOTHING INTENSIFIES**

[@Handinmapocket]

@@Choppytehbear1337 funely enough, this would be pretty legit on forest nothing maps 11

[@mcsquizzy440]

True, he's missing the three archery ranges on the neutral island

[@agentohio1699]

14:15 This is quite possibly the most excited/happy I've ever seen Vale be

[@jasonpratt5126]

Vale: "Why does he need two castles!?!" Also Vale: *ALL THE TOWERS AND CASTLES*

[@PassengerOnTheMenu]

Tower rushing: it's been a strategy in AoE2 for ages (pun intended). Wall out your enemy's resources and starting town, build multiple layers of walls to keep vills from breaking out, then lay down towers on the perimeter until they forfeit. Game's usually over before anyone can hit castle age. Inca, Maya and Spanish are great for this. Unfortunately, it's not effective against multiple opponents.

[@timothymclean]

It's also less effective if you _only_ rush towers and not, say, something that can attack siege engines.

[@ToconPL]

Here's hoping he never finds out that you can reach Grandmaster in StarCraft just by building cannons as protoss

[@bombyproduction9357]

my family will never remember me

[@jaxusr235]

Bomby production That’s only because they’re dead too, nothing to cry over.

[@bombyproduction9357]

@@jaxusr235 it is what it is kzbin.info/www/bejne/gaG7pJmfoteefNE

[@szellem3823]

Vale: "Uploads a video." Me: "A blessing from the Lord!"

[@smallymcsmall7065]

"Valefisk plays bog standard Korean match."

[@sminuire]

Its crazy to see this man have videos with 1m+ views on a video but still only have like 240k+ subs, he deserves more, he's actually fun to watch

[@georgemachappy]

The lack of villager garrisoning ... raised my anxiety a lot

[@EpicWink]

"AI resigns too easily in the current version of the game" *Reads post from 2013* *Post is about AoE2 HD, released in 2013* *Plays AoE2 DE, released in 2019* 😂

[@jkbscopes1233]

i am so glad i am able to keep calm due to the ammount of screw ups i have seen in this video for example the forage bushes you didnt use before building farms

[@veeeVic]

Look, that's actually decent training for map control.

[@drdiabeetus4419]

Koreans are a valid choce for this, but I think at the time this was made incas were better for tower rush (Since they had cheaper towers than now and villagers that could fight back due to benefiting from blacksmith upgrades.) Other valid choices for "Fight only with buildings and villagers" are currently Spanish (Supremacy) Slavs (Castles cost part wood) and persians (Douche)

[@FrantisekPicifuk]

You need to play against the legend himself. The Fatslob

[@lesthodson2802]

*muffled screaming from Spirit of the Law*

[@taylor5065]

Lest Hodson I was thinking of what he would think of this match

[@brandonschwertley2723]

I feel like this entire video can be applied to Germany's internal monologue during WW1. Minus an incompetent AI buddy (Austria Hungary)

[@Mamenber]

You can garrison villagers into structures like Town Centers, Towers, Castles, and Kreposts to make them launch more arrows. There are other civs for similar strategies, like Bulgarians, who have a building called Krepost, which is a smaller, cheaper castle. Also, another strategy you could try is the Spanish Supremacy, which is an Imperial Age technology researched in castles that gives your villagers hit points, attack, and armor.

[@brijekavervix7340]

You could've gone with Spanish and gotten Supremacy to mega buff your villages for when you had to fight off the rams and trebuchets

[@onatyungul872]

I always broken Harder AI on AOE3, it was fun. However AOE2's ai searches for you relentlessly, so you have to keep building up.

[@gabriel-kahn]

We demand Spanish Villagers only

[@diet-whyit4724]

But thats an actual strat

[@nachoolo]

If we don't get a rematch I'm going to be really disappointed with you, Valefisk.

[@McGliga]

11 minutes and 20 seconds. That's how long it took him to make a Soviet Union reference. Well he definitely beat me, it took me less than 5

[@sadpotatohours4846]

12:28 Dunkirk looks a lot different than I thought it would

[@cettechaineestcloture.1351]

I love the fact that you valefish is more worried about trebuchets than facing visigothic Huskarls (which are really resistant against arrows)

[@vucko9201]

If i'm not wrong, you could have put in villagers in castles and tower so that more arrows are fired every volley

[@RyougiVector]

Vill rushes are totally viable! The Inca civilization and Spanish civilization have villagers which can be buffed for early and late game rushing, respectively. Plus both civs have bonuses for tower building.

[@LordRavensong]

Someone hasn't watched nearly enough Spirit of the Law

[@korus230]

KZbin-wipes sweat dripping down his face- Valefisk isn't posting any more videos on war crimes anymore- KZbin HQ-Alert Valefisk has made a new video. Middle of the video manslaughter-Laughter-

[@northernleigonare]

Military units. Then if it's anything like Empire Earth 2, use a unit to convert the enemy units into your own. Right? Or is that too easy and just peasantry only?

[@cwovictor3281]

He actually has done a conversion-only game before. If you fancy a look, there it is: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aIGQm42KnrOjhMk

[@Zeroground300]

The pro strat is to rush feudal age and build towers in their town centres before they have enough resources to do anything about it. Another hilarious strat I've seen in pro games is to play the civ that gets a stronger tc, delete your tc in feudal and go build your tc right next to theirs, your tc fire will destroy their tc.

[@KaneyoriHK]

Vale was playing the cockroach game, every time he lost a castle it'd just pop up in some civilization's leftover corpse.

[@Ekair42]

VAlefisk you fool, you need to go spanish and castle drop with supremacy villagers with sappers!

[@snbeast9545]

You could have the scout cavalry you're given at the start, since the challenge is to not BUILD units.

[@soil5942]

Last time I was this early, Queen Victoria didn't exsist.

[@CT--ox2iu]

if you have an old copy of Warcraft 3 lying around my favourite strat was night elf tree tower camping, seems up your alley

[@OneByteLP]

12:50 rare film-footage from Dunkirk

[@wArRgArBl117]

As a long time AoE2 player, seeing a Visigoth player THAT far ahead of me is the stuff of pure nightmares.

[@fletchindary2191]

Your problem was that you didn't wall hard enough. Pull a Constantinople and build three walls right next to each other

[@devinosland359]

Vale:tries to win with only buildings Trebs: 11

[@DailyDoseAnimu]

This was very entertaining to watch, I def cringed at the farms being dark age but we have all been there. Anyways would love to see more videos related to AoE, this was fun.

[@Leifenguard]

Should've picked Spanish for the Supremacy bonus on villagers

[@DatUSMCBeast]

Idk what i love more, you or your videos

[@Ahmadabdal_]

bro visk you can actually put your units inside some buildings like towers and towncenter to increase their damage :)

[@robincray116]

Villagers only, towers only is basically how I play Portuguese in multiplayer games with friends.

[@FrostyWheats]

Two uploads within a month? Impossible

[@lootboxersidn9158]

This is basically tower rushing with extra steps

[@maana-yasiri7759]

200 population game: *builds 50 units*

[@randomperson6176]

Last time I was this early, vale still build units.

[@sleepyboi6681]

Just watched enemy at the gates at 4 am this morning and now this stuff damn

[@st.p.2667]

I know I am late, but, why not Incas, cheap stone buildings, villagers affected by blacksmith upgrades and transition from towers to castles by denying stone and taking it for yourself.

[@scotcheggable]

Basically every RTS is a tower defense game to me You should try settlers heritage of kings, it's a great game for this method

[@englishchurchill9117]

The legend is back once again!

[@fenixdown22]

a truly epic saga

[@jaybonn5973]

This is how I play lol. I play for the fun and creativity not for the wins. Base building is super fun

[@tuckpoint0]

This is what we like to call the Swiss Strategy

[@flaviusvector1543]

i demand more of this game

[@camo_kamikaze1598]

within a few minutes, I feel like valefisk is fatslobs less successful turtling cousin

[@Links_Rechts_Lo]

Age of Empires Artillery only (trebuchet and catapult) P. S. this seems like it would make a great novel, like : villagers of fallen town turn into Medieval Guerilla Marines

[@JoseGuzman-st2cc]

Update! Thanks for the support mah dudes 👌🏽 and thanks vale for giving me another vid to procrastinate with.

[@cantree2574]

The blue guy also know as valefisk

[@tyrisiustyroniusrex8322]

Missed opportunity to use the title "age of empires 2 revenge of the electric roof korean boogaloo"

[@theiceylemon6784]

Me someone with 500hrs in age of empires II HD (the age of conquerors) Usually I am amused at people who dont know what they are doing. But this THIS Is exactly what i do

[@Kalleboost]

That start was a pain to look at.... Seeing the max villager amount hit at 5/5 is painfull to watch

[@thesheq5023]

There’s 2 strategies that actually do this: fast castle and fast tower

[@rareram]

I'll use only buildings... Also the strongest enemy is the visigoth... Gets popcorn

[@MathStuff1234]

Probably forgot about the university ballistics and murder holes upgrades haha

[@MrRohde97]

Putting out villagers at "top speed" - out of one Town Center xD

[@ManOfSemantics]

One should take joy when witnessing war crimes, but this, does put a smile on my face...

[@person8773]

"Not one step back" Definitely reminds me of a certain Soviet Union..

[@taylor5065]

That’s kinda the point

[@Ausomgamer112]

“The best offense, is a good defense”

[@mikehunt3436]

You know the villagers can garrison in the towers and add to the tower attack

[@its_dippy6779]

Vale, you gotta play Company of Heroes 2 again. There's a mod out there that replaces the OKW Breakthrough doctrine with one called "Desperate Measures". I think you would like it.

[@shakespearenuketh3233]

Dang it... For a second here, I thought you actually stood a chance at winning...

[@lurky6439]

That's really time consuming challenge for someone running quiz show.

[@impatientsamurai6202]

Ah yes the tried and true method of the Korean court. *evacuating*

[@ravin21k]

I'd lose my mind playing against this guy 😂

[@davidant8901]

The only real way to play no units is Spanish Supremacy villagers.

[@poyloos4834]

Y'know I'm glad you decided to show an aoe vid. It's unfortunate how tightly knit the community has to be, since it's not exactly a game you can just pick up for a let's play. With a game like aoe you need to play for like a minimum of a year before you have a single clue of what you're doing, and like 3-5 years to reach a level above competency

[@sar_ptolemy]

aoe ii, but with roof koreans

[@MigoKazan]

>says he's gonna win without creating any units >creates new villagers >builds fishing ships >builds transport ships no challenge there, smh

[@Leitis_Fella]

>Feudal Age >Haven't taken Berries >Haven't lured Boar or pushed deer Git gud.

[@Yaoming16]

7:50 is that a Daut castle ?

[@neinherman9989]

Is supposed to build no units, *immediately builds villager*

[@carterpeterson3218]

I what no he uploaded the suns have aligned an anarchy shall rain!!

[@josephparent2628]

What is this medieval history mod for Star War: Galactic Battlegrounds

[@VectoRaith]

Ahh, I see you played SWGB first before knowing this

[@maana-yasiri7759]

Or is Star Wars: galactic battlegrounds just a futuristic mod for age of empires

[@CHEBCAEI.F]

Do an act of war direct action showcase I think you'd like it. And it would bring back a diamond in the rough

[@crunchybacon325]

You should try this with tank spanish or inca villagers