Velma - Just the Worst Thing

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You asked, I delivered: the final 6 episodes of Velma in ONE review. It nearly killed me, but I made it to the end. It actually got a little bit better whenever it wasn't being the worst thing on the planet.
Part 1 (Reuploaded after HBO took down the original): • Velma - This Isn't Fun...
Part 2: • Velma - A Crime Agains...
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[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Sadists demanded I finish the show. I was masochistic enough to agree.

[@Dat_Jonx]

May the God help your soul.

[@pessimist1635]

We thank you for this altruistic sacrifice

[@ceterisparabolas]

I'm reminded of Meme Repository's comments on finishing editing EFAP Snyder Cut, "I shall persevere and then I shall find the tallest tower in the world"

[@augustofioretti6938]

What have we done. WHAT HAVE WE DONE??

[@alesterphoenix]

We don't deserve you lol

[@pessimist1635]

Bro really finished Velma so we wouldn't have to We thank you for this noble and altruistic sacrifice

[@ericsbuds]

tahts right. the show could have turned into a masterpiece and we would have never known!!!

[@jeremywatson9129]

A true member of a platoon jumps on a grenade so his friends can survive.

[@ayethein7681]

The funniest thing about "Velma" was that the Eokes thought it was a fakewoke show intended make Woke look bad. It is horribly fascinating in picking up the plot -holes, like the contradictory motive for the murders. Not Hot girls but smart brains, in the end. It has signs of post -it note plot construction.

[@Adamant_Consternation]

I'm absolutely fascinated by this show. It's like watching a train carrying nuclear waste derailing into a burning orphanage for special needs children that's built on an Indian burial ground.

[@Ashkihyena]

@@Adamant_Consternation So basically this show is the train wreck in Ohio?

[@kevinminer1293]

"It's supposed to be funny, but because it's Velma, it isn't." This was funnier than anything Mindy Kaling has ever said, or likely, ever will say.

[@Uspr73]

*sigh* I sadly disagree as she was the writer of The Injury episode of The Office.

[@luminaria6122]

​@@Uspr73 is unbelivable that the same person who wrote some of the best episodes of the office is the same writing this shit

[@kyotheman69]

pretty much, Kaling was never funny, not sure how she had show run for 3 seasons, she was only funny in Office, but that's because Office had good writers, she is hack

[@etsequentia6765]

* *Mindy Failing*

[@freman007]

@@Uspr73 She was part of a writing team. And based on this it was the rest of the team carrying the show.

[@CodeeXD]

She got over years of daddy issues in 20 minutes because she realized she doesn't want her dad's affection cause he really doesn't like her because she's absolutely insufferable

[@BWMagus]

That's pretty feminist; if a man doesn't like you, he's shit and you shouldn't give a fuck about him or his opinions--of course it's not possible that he might actually have some kind of point.

[@akisatsuki8444]

I'd like but this has exactly 100 likes and I'm not gonna ruin that

[@TheDoremi40]

That interview with Mindy Kaling was legitimately disgusting. If a guy did that, he would rightfully be called out for it and 'canceled'.

[@wbwbc89]

Ikr?! And everyone laughs like it was funny? Wtf, really highlights how the disconnected the Hollywood scene is from everywhere else in the world

[@personafanatic4597]

she should have gotten sued for it. maybe it wouldn't have done much to her but maybe it would have knocked her off her high horse for a minute

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

Lee Pace should have sued her pants off.

[@MrArbaras]

She's clearly telling that story ironically. It didn't actually happen, she just thinks she's making a poignant statement of "I'm pretending I'm doing the same things men do that and they get away with because they're men". What she fails to realize is that it isn't their penis that lets them get away with doing these awful things, it's because of a complex web of power politics and exploitation that enables it. She doesn't realize she is exactly one of the tools that enables do these awful things and get away with it.

[@BohoAstronaut]

​@@chazzitz-wh4ly gross sue her so keeps her crusty pants on but yeah I get it lol

[@jmace2424]

“Men have it so easy” says mindy who has had everything handed to her including an ivy league degree.

[@realdragon]

And in the show there are scenes that say otherwise, Fred was falsely accused, Velma manipulated Norville, Velma's dad literally had to work very hard after mother was kidnapped, Fred's dad was hypnotized and his wife married him just to get rich, Fred almost got his brain removed

[@BWMagus]

@@realdragon Indeed. Hence, again, the accusations that it's an incredibly convoluted psyop by right-ringers to lampoon left-wing bullshit.

[@NeonSuperNovas]

“Men have it so easy” when women can literally sell pictures of their feet and pay their bills.

[@lilybrass9yearsago264]

@@NeonSuperNovas Lol wish the game was that easy

[@NeonSuperNovas]

@@lilybrass9yearsago264 hell, one girl was selling her bath water lol.

[@fawnieee]

I think the most bizarre thing about Mindy Kaling is that her shows with self insert characters that's she's written will often be horribly insulting to white men while simultaneously being OBSESSED with her. All her shows contain a white guy that she riffs on but still remains so "in love with her she's amazing wow". And it's clear she sincerely believes/fantasizes about this because she's talked at length about how she randomly a kissed a male actor during a scene that did not nor was approved of kissing for a scene, she just spontaneously did it and then she bragged about how he could nothing because of her position of power in the industry. This show perfectly encapsulates the person she is. She hates any woman who might be considered physically more attractive than her and I bet sincerely believes that she can be an awful, vindictive, conniving person who treats everyone horribly but be praised as a goddess because of the few buzzwords she's gleamed from feminism. She LOVES treating white men horribly and characterizing them in the worst way but she's just so amazing she can transform them into feminists who adore her because she's such a girlboss. It's gross.

[@ajene-ayeleferguson606]

i think its also the fact that she secretly fetishizes white men, but hates herself for it and, thus, is in love with them while simultaneously hating them and making them the irredeemable and worse character of the show. But i agree totally with what you said I just wanted to add that take because i think it may have some validity.

[@undercookedtoast1479]

Its people and shows like this that make feminism have the connotation of misandry to so many people. It’s disgusting

[@atsukana1704]

She is such an abhorrent person I would fill my mouth with soap right in front of her if that ever happened. The taste of soap would be much better than her non consentual activities.

[@superploc]

_She hates any woman who might be considered physically more attractive than her_ ... Then she hate all the human females in the world?

[@SpartyCubsFan]

Yep. It’s what she did in The Office. The dreadful Mindy Project, and now this

[@PhattyBolger]

Velma's experience of dressing like a man is practically the exact opposite of the experience one woman had when living as a man for a year as part of a social experiment. She found it very depressing and lonely, noting that dating was incredibly awkward as the man has to do all the work. She ended up taking her own life 20 years later, noting a few years beforehand that living like that had impacted her mental health severely and permanently.

[@sarahb.7175]

What was her name?

[@juanitabrown8931]

​@@sarahb.7175 Norah Vincent, she was a journalist and wrote the 2006 book "Self-Made Man: My Year Disguised as a Man"

[@vandalsavage6743]

Im glad she's been able to take a taste of the nihilism of a man's worthless.. replaceable life.

[@kurtcobane1762]

i read it was assisted suicide after admitting herself to a facility

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

Damn. Kinda feels like Mindy spat on that poor woman’s memory by being like “men have it so much easier cos MEN lol”

[@yamiookami]

"Sins of the fathers and some of the mothers" is a title that kinda speaks volumes. All men are guilty, but only individual women are.

[@BWMagus]

And even then, some man, like evil general guy, was REALLY responsible.

[@JadenMoon1475]

"HoTtIeS oNlY, pUkEfAcEs ExClUdEd"; Gives you *_HOPE_* abbreviated...... *_WHAT THE F**K WERE THEY THINKING?!?!?!?_*

[@ElessarFrey]

Correction: All *white* men are guilty

[@joesmutz9287]

So with Velma's dad...it's not an affair Velma's mom has been legally dead for at least a year (if I remember the law right). Meaning the father was legally allowed to remarry

[@nont18411]

Don’t you get it? It’s the man’s fault for moving on and cleaning the house. He should have stayed miserable and let the house be dirty forever.

[@MKDumas1981]

This show theoretically takes place in California (I've never heard otherwise). In California, someone has to be missing for five years to be declared legally dead. However, that doesn't apply to this instance, because Aman was under the impression that Diya left voluntarily. Diya said the marriage was loveless and sexually unfulfilling, so it's no surprise that Aman moved on when he thought she'd left, especially since Sophie flirted with him. It's not an affair if she left of her own accord. She wasn't abducted until after she had already left her home.

[@tvesrb]

Velma's mom supposedly disappeared 2yrs prior, but that's just poor writing. Velma looks too young compared to present day. Either that was an insane growth spurt or the writer's sense of time is messed up.

[@lexnight8345]

@@tvesrb ... what 2 years ? I swear she looks like 5 when her mom disappeared and now she's 15 so I assumed where at least 10 years between the 2 events

[@joesmutz9287]

@@lexnight8345 This was close to impression as well If I recall correctly, missing for 7 years, for whatever reason, constitutes legally dead. And given the length of the pregnancy (combined with her... promiscuity) that the new girl wasn't around that long So I put my guess that those 7 years were fulfilled before the new marriage

[@goofygoober779]

This show absolutely abused Fred to the point of crippling him forever and mentally scarring him. I have no words left.

[@DangerZone200]

no but his a white guy which makes it okay and not incredibly racist and sexist

[@TF2CrunchyFrog]

It really feels like a case of the writers first turning Fred into a strawman and then writing what is known as "revenge fanfic" about him.

[@Rideps1]

Honestly I'd say that's still a better fate that being Mindy Kaling's self insert

[@Shenaldrac]

No but see he's white and cis and male and wealthy so it's okay for bad things to happen to him. Because fuck lifting people up, instead let's drag those who are successful _down._

[@jillianc7485]

honestly, despite all of that, my biggest gripe with the show is *still* how disgustingly unlikable velma actually is. her attitude, actions, and words are hateful and rude throughout the ENTIRE show- the character is totally irredeemable in every way.

[@trevorpearlharbor5171]

This dude finished Velma just so we didn't have to. Who's gonna give this man his well-deserved Purple Heart?

[@osmanyousif7849]

How about a year's worth a therapy as well, to help him speak to someone on how something like this gets made, and causing people to drive into insanity?

[@insertnamehere5809]

💜

[@FanksCast]

​​@@osmanyousif7849And it somehow is still getting a season 2, idk what's going on with Hollywood, same as Kathleen kennedy. You fuck up you get a warning and get fired after the second fuck up, but with these guys you can fuck up a thousand times and still have your job. Disgusting to all the minimum wage workers who've been fired for way less.

[@bravewater5737]

💜

[@ThePiachu]

As soon as I saw the Mystery Machine-like van, I went "oh shit, they are trying to make this an origin story, like Mystery Inc., but crappier". Then I remembered that rumor that Gigi was supposed to be Scoobi and thought to myself "oh shit, Norvile is actually hanging out with Gigi, AND we have Project SCOOBI about brain swapping, are they actually going to take Gigi's brain and put it into a dog's body? Surely they can't go Full Metal Alchemist on her...", and the fact that for two weeks it was something that wouldn't be out of place in the show really made me realise how bad the show is...

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I’ve heard this Gigi/Scooby theory a few times now and it is disturbingly plausible.

[@regiman222]

I did consider it too, and there is still another season....

[@macsmith2013]

@@TheLittlePlatoon After all the character switching/butchering, that wouldn't surprise me the least, just another gender switch resuting in Scooby Dee.

[@EllenMF12]

@@macsmith2013 I meant, Gigi is 100% cooler than Velma, thinking of this, I don't doubt if Mindy sees how Velma is shitty she will try to use the Velma into Scoo- just thinking that hurts, I 100% prefer Gigi over Velma...

[@ChaoticJester]

HBO Max actually won't even let them lay a finger on Scooby Doo.

[@atomicdancer]

If you give a hundred monkeys a hundred typewriters, and get them to write for a hundred hours, you will end up with a hundred broken typewriters and a hundred deranged monkeys, along with a court summons charging you with cruelty to animals, and all of it covered in fur and spittle and blood and pee and monkey poo. And one full copy of Velma's season one script.

[@emanx222]

🤣

[@toufikhb253]

You are disrespecting the monkey script

[@mama_quartz]

Respect the monkey script, dammit!!!

[@penat7402]

@@toufikhb253 fr u can’t insult monke like that

[@Shenaldrac]

Bullshit, monkeys would come up with better than that. Don't smear the good name of monkeys in this manner.

[@onepresence9460]

The fact that we lost so many great cartoons like Inside Job, Final Space, Close Enough, Infinity Train and Mao Mao and we keep getting stuff like Velma is depressing. Just thinking about it makes me sad :(

[@YEETUSDAFEETUS]

wait inside job isn't getting another season???

[@crfstewarje]

There's still stuff like Arcane and Puss N Boots the Last Wish

[@thaiangquoc9505]

@@crfstewarje And Hilda's final Season

[@zoeb3573]

I'm still sad about Inside Job being canceled. I think we were supposed to watch Season 2 in a couple months, actually. Sad stuff.

[@themug406]

Really salty about Final Space

[@raidanforster6273]

The thing that pisses me off the most is when Mindy says that “Velma is a character that does all the work, but gets none of the credit.” I don’t understand why she thinks that because if I remember correctly, usually people are praising her for her intelligence, not just “VeLmA dId EvErYtHiNg, ThAnKs FrEd!”

[@MK_ULTRA420]

If anything it was usually Fred who was the first to praise Velma for her intelligence after catching the episode's villain.

[@mrdropkicker1]

It pisses me off that people still think Velma does all the work when that’s absolutely not the case in the original and most incarnations… she’s the most analytical and has the strongest deductive reasoning. That’s not the same thing as doing all the work. Fred and Daphne, for example, have good intuition and can read people really well. Shaggy and Scooby are good at thinking on their feet. Thats why they’re a team…

[@Icetea-2000]

It’s what she wishes was true so she could employ her victim complex, of course she doesn’t care if it’s factual or not, she just convinces herself of a delusion where that’s true

[@ScoundrelSFB]

My heart goes to you man. It's like watching Frodo get closer to Mordor, and seeing the damage the ring is doing to him. You want him to stop, but the job must be finished. Your conviction is admirable Sire.

[@huntertaylor367]

The fact that at the end he can't throw the show into the fire and rid us of it is a tragedy

[@RanMouri82]

Except Mount Doom is Velma's twerking butt.

[@GeraltofRivia22]

@@huntertaylor367 but it is a profound statement on the human condition.

[@ferrishthefish]

"I can't carry it for you... But I can like, share, and subscribe!" -Samways Gammage

[@Icetea-2000]

Frodo gets to mount doom and is stopped by a black elf who tells him he has a white savior complex and sauron is the good guy for trying to enslave middle earth because middle earth is racist for only having white people or something like that. Rings of Power, Season 2, you heard it here first

[@hatuletoh]

There was one piece of straight truth from this show, and it is this: any man who fully absorbs and sincerely attempts to live the tenets of "The Feminine Mystique" will not get laid, no matter how rich and attractive.

[@looinrims]

The right wing psyop theory gets more plausible every episode From ‘bullshit’ to ‘a funny meme’ but it’s something

[@lexnight8345]

🤣🤣🤣

[@toufikhb253]

@The Looinrims they're not that self aware bro

[@looinrims]

@@toufikhb253 I know they’re not but you have to wonder sometimes…

[@sprinkle61]

This plot point pretty much writes itself, because if the bad white guy actually sincerely embraces feminist theory, he can no longer be targeted for his white privledge, but must have some other negative trait to be ridiculed, and just like a red piller on an annoying rant, feminist theory is also not funny, and not particularly interesting being parroted by a white guy, so feminism itself, and Fred's chances of 'white knighing' any gain from feminism easily becomes the joke, because its just as ridiculous as the distaff counterpart from red pill.

[@thejoshandcharles1]

I think I've seen around 4 hours' worth of reviews to Velma and not one second from the show itself. Your review seems to actually give this show a chance. That takes courage, yet with the steadiest of hands, I bet it takes a lot not to smack yourself in the face after having to sit through that mess.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Oh, god yes. I wouldn’t normally skip over whole chunks of episodes in a review, but with this one, they were so pointless that the only thing achieved by including them would be insanity.

[@blobbertmcblob4888]

1:10:27 You know what's hilarious? This describes Mindy Kaling *perfectly* She was born rich and basically handed everything she's ever had.

[@billusher2265]

Just think about what kind of person looks at a wholesome classic cartoon like scooby doo with a nice message on the power of team work and logical thinking, and sees the opportunity to turn it into a vindictive, grotesque vehicle for their self insert.

[@veralynn777]

the og show was full of stuff that would raise a brow to anyone with half a brain to notice. they were just better at hiding it back then also..they were "different times".

[@ArcherSuh4721]

And also gets the opportunity to bring an iconic character that has been loved for generations to a new show... And genuinely believes everyone wants to see a thinly-veiled version of herself instead.

[@A_YouTube_Commenter]

If it was an original property, I don't think it would have gotten anywhere near the hate. It would have been a silly "try hard" show.

[@whitetiana3022]

an indian person. *COUGH COUGH*

[@DangerZone200]

@@A_KZbin_Commenter yeah no shit thats why people hated it but that doesn't mean it would be more popular its still a bitchy hatful racist cartoon that goes nowhere

[@pyroronpa]

I once had a blister on my hand from playing on the monkey bars at recess. It covered the entire palm of my hand and I chewed a hole into it and slammed it against a brick wall. The ooze sprayed as if a water balloon hit the wall, the pain was immense, and when I went back to class, I slowly picked away at the skin exposing fresh nerves to the outside air. It took a long time, but eventually it healed. I would rather go through all that again, as opposed to watching a minute of Velma. Thank you for your work good sir.

[@DangerZone200]

the fact that you did all that makes me not wanna listen to you at all because of your mental instability even more so since you were a kid when you did it

[@mama_quartz]

I currently have a scabbed blister on my arm that when I press it, a green bubble appears and its so painful. I can't imagine having a full palm sized blister let alone the pain when it pops! Yeowch!

[@CodeeXD]

Bro why'd you slam your hand against a wall 💀

[@AnnaJo2000]

Why did you go and slam your hand against a brick wall?! 😂

[@marga8732]

Meanwhile I'd rather fall down the last two steps, slam my head, and scar my knee again than watch the damn show! This video proves it.

[@cutiewintersnowtorres2561]

When Velma twerking over Fred’s Mother’s dead body. That was a messed up move and especially kicking out the stepmother with her baby.

[@emilylike-the-soup2502]

54:35 - I think I’d be *less* upset to find out that my husband had a new girlfriend and kid than I would be to find out that my 15-year-old daughter had a baby. 15 is just so young.

[@elizabethperry2622]

It would be horrifying and devastating for any family but the reaction does not fit at all with the dynamic the writers have set up in this family in particular. Dad’s a lawyer. Mom’s super fixated on her daughter’s grades, is in competition with family members on whose child is doing the best. She’s excited about her daughter’s future. This isn’t a “welp, guess you better start taking some of those online certification classes for when that boy leaves you and we get another generation of single mothers in this family” family dynamic. Then add the fact she’s a baby herself, like you said. We’re supposed to imagine mom’s been gone two years? There would be weeping, shame, disappointment. “It’s all my fault! You never would have made such an irresponsible and reckless decision if you’d had your mom!” Norville would not be welcome at the house.

[@georgemeyers7172]

Yeah same to be honest... That's essentially means a pedophile banged her and impregnated her... which is yikes in so many levels.

[@grandmufftwerkin9037]

Warning, Velma may cause side effects, including: Indigestion. Skin rash. Hair loss. Jaundice. Heart attack and/or stroke. Loss of bladder control. Insomnia. Dry mouth. Constipation.

[@jkfozul2316]

*And in rare and serious circumstances death

[@renegade7548]

Velma is not recommended after taking the Mindy project. Do not take Velma unless you don't have any other choice. Ask you're doctor if Velma would be slightly better than death by rat disemboulement.

[@MMumbles]

If you are pregnant or may become pregnant, you should not engage with Velma.

[@incandescent9525]

* and unspecified number of diseases and medical conditions not yet discovered by modern science

[@vehicleunhandler]

and will cause extreme suicidal tendencies

[@Romey1son]

Watching Velma vicariously through Platoon is alot more fun then just watched Velma.

[@redacted8008]

The amount of insight, hour long script, cheeky phrasing, and editing work this man puts into these shitty show covers makes it incredibly entertaining. He makes my woman parts tingle a little.

[@blutoo1363]

Just putting it here that Lee Pace is pronounced pache and not pace.

[@brotherkhrayn3525]

I watched it through Nux, and watching him bitch and moan was really entertaining 😂

[@taylorlapira9109]

You can easily gauge whether or not you will like the show just based on your reaction to the phrase "Velma twerks over the bloody corpse". If it makes you cringe uncontrollably, it's not for you

[@georgemeyers7172]

Most people don't like teens twerking... for obvious reasons... it's even worse when you get the context from that statement.

[@osmanyousif7849]

And here I thought She-Hulk and MTS twerking was the worst thing to ever witness.... Which I mean, should I be comparing?

[@HappyBeezerStudios]

In a different show that would've been hillarious. But not here.

[@Daniel_3322]

47:33 this makes me realize how scrappy doo is probably not the most hated Scooby Doo related thing anymore thanks to this show

[@poissonsumac7922]

When Velma charged into the fog after Fred and yelled "The sea is always right!" as James Cameron's Troy theme played in the background, I Morbed my pants.

[@cm_5821]

So true, a real cinematic masterpiece!

[@jonnyboi841]

One of the most things ever made

[@DrNinbos]

Really one of the animated series moments of all time.

[@nathanielandre2568]

*Ekse by Off the Meds starts playing*

[@rydiculouse4316]

The last joke was literally funnier than the whole show

[@HateshWarkio]

Velma makes me genuinely glad that the original creators of the Scooby-Doo franchise are already dead so they don't have to see their brainchild being killed, shat on and "rapped" in no particular order by Mindy Kaling

[@420mralucard]

Did Velma's mom really kick her husband, his girlfriend, and their NEWBORN BABY out of their house? After all the supposed character growth? Woman you were presumed dead for years, he remarried and had a kid, you move out and get a life.

[@mr_jyggalag]

As a Russian, I can assure you that we, in fact, also start drinking at the age of 4. Besides, thank you for this. I can't watch a minute of Velma without wanting to die of cringe, let alone the whole season. True martyr of our age.

[@realdragon]

Vomiting on party is more fun than watching Velma

[@Vaguer_Weevil]

​@Samar3n Do you want them to roll over and play fetch too?

[@furnoprime9439]

@@Vaguer_Weevil Nah that's what we got the Ukrainians for. Instead, we going Sand Sledding

[@mr_jyggalag]

@Samar3n да?

[@osmanyousif7849]

Dang, sign me up. Because I'd like to take a full bottles with me to the theaters if I'm forced to watch garbage.

[@Bobbymaccys]

“Someone somebody is being intolerant”… yeah, her name is Mindy Kaling and she voices Velma.

[@jillianc7485]

oh and because it wasn’t mentioned in the video: y’know how the series keeps claiming that daphne is “half Asian” ?? well, we meet her parents- she’s full asian. wanna know why her hair is red??? surprise! it’s not because she is partially white (that would automatically make her terrible, obviously) but it’s due to the fact that, and i quote, her biological mother “smoked a lot during the pregnancy.” GOD this show was so so so so SO bad. and i TRIED giving it the benefit of the doubt.

[@darkknight7545]

“And yet somehow, it got even worse…” perfectly summarized the entire show… roll credits!

[@Scaevola77]

"As opposed to whatever the f**k this is. Flogging the mentally ill, maybe." Holy shit what a line.

[@npcknuckles5887]

You say never again, but think of the _ad revenue_ from reviewing the next _15 seasons_ of Velma.

[@Ashkihyena]

If you survived the cancer you’d get from watching it.

[@iamthewizardwhoknocks2845]

It may not be worth it.

[@MKDumas1981]

He'll have to use the ad revenue to pay his medical bills.

[@mrgreenboy644]

I'm pretty sure it'd physically grab and rip away his soul if he did that

[@emanx222]

​@@iamthewizardwhoknocks2845 think of Alex Myers who basically blew up after suffering through river dale

[@propheinx2250]

You've done more for Scrappy Doo's image than all of his show ever did.

[@boobah5643]

KZbin creator Billiam makes a case that without Scrappy, _Velma_ would never have happened. For fairness's sake, it must be noted that the argument is largely that _Scooby Doo_ would be as well remembered as _Jabberjaw_ or _Speed Buggy._

[@RanMouri82]

Like a guest on JLongbone's channel said, "I now look at Scrappy Doo tenderly and think perhaps I have been too harsh." 🤣

[@MM-xn6tn]

To paraphrase Roger Ebert's review of Freddy Got Fingered: "This show doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This show isn't the bottom of the barrel. This show doesn't go past the bottom of the barrel. This show doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence as barrels. A day may come where Mindy Kaling's Velma is seen as a landmark in adult comedy. A day will never come where it's seen as funny."

[@j-d-2958]

I really, really feel sorry for our Little Platoon. A man this good at evaluating cinema in such articulate manner should have been around 20 - 30 years ago. We could have been seeing his videos about Gladiator, Braveheart, Casino, Bladerunner ( a bit late but you know what I mean ), etc. I hope that this is all worth it in the end for our beloved commentator. What do we have left? This type of garbage, DC, and the MCU? God help us. Pray for our Little Platoon. The poor boy will need it as he becomes Virgil to our Dante in this modern day dark ages of a hellscape that is modern cinema.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Well now, that’s high praise! There’s a lot to take from the current era, though. In more serious media criticism (my Avatar video much more than the Velma ones), it gives you a lot to play off - it’s broken, but why, how, what; what are the fundamental lessons we need to re-learn; why does Aliens work, dramatically, where Way of Water doesn’t. So it’s still engaging, to me at least.

[@j-d-2958]

@@TheLittlePlatoon Oh it is very engaging, enlightening, and entertaining at my end as well. Your Avatar video was excellent. The Rings of Power is my favorite. Each had very important lessons to take away. My only wish is that you will be presented with a real challenge of a Movie, something so good that most people will give it a 95% out of 100% without even thinking, highlighting the most obvious achievements. And when the time comes for you to review it, you will discover a real, genuine hidden gem or flaw that 99% of the audience and reviewers will miss. Those slight nuances not only enrich the movie experience itself, but also makes your audience better observers in the future, whether we are casual moviegoers or storytellers ourselves. To be honest, of all the reviewers on KZbin that I've seen, I think you are the only one that can pull it off. Good luck. No pressure.... :)

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

@@j-d-2958 Closest I’ve come to that is Andor, weirdly, but I only had time for a second channel video. Was fun to go through philosophy (panopticon etc) as opposed to “this is obviously idiotic.”

[@alexandresobreiramartins9461]

Ok, but Gladiator and Braveheart are shit.

[@crfstewarje]

^ Hey now - we still have stuff like Arcane and Puss N Boots The Last Wish.

[@rcslyman8929]

11:13 Those "disguises" would be costumes of Captain Caveman, another popular Hanna-Barbera cartoon. In fact, the entire Crystal Cove theme park seems to be a throwback to old Hanna-Barbera shows. Because if they can't use Scooby Doo, then why not everything else. Yes. I'm old.

[@JasonNaas]

I was hoping to find somebody else who understood that reference

[@dennisgregg7431]

With your powers combined, I am CAPTAAAAAIN CAAAAAAVEMAAAAAAAN!

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

My vague childhood memories told me Captain Caveman was one of the Slag Brothers - apparently not!

[@rcslyman8929]

@@TheLittlePlatoon To be fair, very similar. But they lack the cape.

[@boobah5643]

I'd argue about how popular Captain Caveman actually was. As memory serves, his show was a _Flintstones_ spinoff... and they couldn't come up with a more interesting premise than yet another 'mystery solving youths with a bizarre sidekick' show. Which is how he got associated with the most famous of those many, many shows.

[@RaynmanPlays]

On the list of "things I would find unforgivable," twerking over my recently killed mother's corpse is pretty high on that list. Yeah, you could say, "Well, she was horrible in numerous ways, not the least of which wanting to kill her own son," but there's the counter-argument of all of that _just_ being revealed and so not really being fully processed at the time of her death (especially since he still believed that she was possessed at the time) and also the determination that she could have been saved (the fact that "Fred" fell for her claim would actually make this worse, since he'd blame himself for her death) and shown the error of her ways. And yeah, Velma is a sociopath. Given that she's a self-insert, that is... especially worrisome.

[@schizosamurai8840]

Mindy Kaling: admitting sexual harrasment and pressuring employees into silence These fucking human potatoes: *laughing*

[@andrewhannigan931]

You know, I just realized the reason the brain swapping was called scoobi was probably so that when gigi's brain gets put into a dog they already have the name ready. Yeah i'm 90% sure that's going to happen

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Honestly, would be funnier than anything else in the show.

[@JoshuaClassified]

Will they turn Norville into a furry too?

[@tonywade7473]

Joshuathe dog pill strikes again,that is assuming they don't go for the cucked by dog joke that I'm 70% sure will happen.

[@morbidtoaster8615]

@@JoshuaClassified if this show does indeed get a 2nd season then I’m sure they’ll find a way to debase these characters even further

[@RanMouri82]

Oh please, God, no. My only consolation has been that our precious pooch has been left out of this.

[@kadourimdou43]

Before anyone watches the show, it should announced like a Roman Colosseum fight. “For those who are about suffer, we salute you”

[@lavatun]

We who are about to die, salute you..

[@gsgunawan80]

\o

[@electrobob992]

Reminder: This show is supposed to be seen as the prequel to the original series. Only thing that could make this work, would be if they add some quick thing at the end of it where one of the gang get a magic lamp that resets the timeline.

[@cosmicwooloo]

During the fog fest episode Fred is threatened by his parents that if he doesn’t win fog king then he’d be kicked out of onto the streets. He is clearly privileged if he’s getting threatened like that. Not to mention the he isn’t rich, his parents are, it’s not his money.

[@orkutfinance]

I really feel bad for the artists of the show, because they worked hard to make the show at least look really nice only for the writers and everybody else to fail them 100%.

[@matt6872]

don’t feel bad - it’s all cheap, flat, boring animation

[@carterstevenson6009]

“Let’s try to fix Velma. {hardcuts to him throwing it in the dumpster}”

[@dankmemes8254]

Baptism by fire

[@thaiangquoc9505]

Accurate The show's dead on arrival anyway

[@Packers4Evar12]

You know what I think would be a hilarious prank? If they got actually good writers for the second season and it turns out amazing, but you have to watch the first season to know what the hell is going on

[@boobah5643]

Except that you could compress the plot of the entire season down to about five minutes without leaving anything out.

[@satsujin-shathewitchkingof6185]

@@boobah5643make season 2 expensive as hell to buy but you can get it for free by watching the entirety of the first season.

[@MrAuthor3DS]

Sorry, that didn't quite happen. Oh, Fred got even better for the most part, but virtually everyone else found new ways to be worse.

[@kirkginoabolafia3650]

That bit about the Pokemon card in the Walmart genuinely made me laugh my ass off. Subbed

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Welcome aboard!

[@purplegirlsrandomnesschann2284]

To be honest, I feel like everyone on the writing team got a sum up of the characters and a brief description of what happened in the last episodes, and then one person was picked to do the writing. One person wrote the first, briefly explained what happened in that episode, and then gave it to the next person to write. (Like the one video with Markiplier, Ethan, and Tyler making a fanfiction together by only reading the last sentence they wrote).

[@purplegirlsrandomnesschann2284]

@Trenton No no, I've seen amazing stuff put out by mostly women staff it's when those women have an agenda (racism, sexism, want to make up their own story instead of using what's given to them) you can't just blame it because they're women because no its because they are racists bitches that want to talk about racism and sexism and then tell people if they don't like it it means they're racist or sexist

[@StarWarsomania]

As yes, Writing By Telephone, sounds like that would go swimmingly.

[@purplegirlsrandomnesschann2284]

@StarWarsomania *if only they were as entertaining as Mark, Tyler and Ethan. This show might have had a chance*

[@Car1a]

We made you watch Velma, and you inserted a clip of Colbert doing his Vax-Scene dance unexpectedly in this video. I would say we're about even.

[@tryhardfinessedyou]

Indeed.

[@YEETUSDAFEETUS]

I'd say we earned that for making him finish it lol

[@tootiredtostop1606]

It's like looking inside the mind of a broken Rubik's Cube. Things spin and flip and rotate but nothing matches up quite how it's supposed to, there's no way to fix it and it's not worth the effort to try.

[@majormaxor7592]

Big brain theory here: the reason why Scooby doo and Shaggy are not in the show is because they actually don't have the rights to the OG show and the 3 characters in the show are different enough to not cause any legal problems. The ads about it being in the scooby doo universe are just bait to have people watch it.

[@patrickdonovan7843]

The single south park cut away made me laugh more than anything these writers will ever do.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

It’s still the absolute premium when it comes to animated comedy.

[@RanMouri82]

​@@TheLittlePlatoon When the insufferable Harry and Megan want to sue, South Park should know it's doing something right.

[@r.downgrade5836]

Damn. What a terrible, evil show. Thanks for doing this. It really does make a difference for people with the skill to distillate such evilness in a way that gives people who can look at it and recognize it for the evil it is some words to help us get over the hump of wanting to actually grab torches and pitchforks and destroy the evil before it can harm society or else give it the justice it deserves from already having harmed society.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Being deradicalised by KZbin is certainly a new one! Thanks for the lovely words.

[@mrgreenboy644]

@@TheLittlePlatoonseeing folks like you and the Drinker certainly help. Keep up the good work!

[@chiselandtonefitness394]

The Little Platoon, love the Channel. Is it not hypicrital to moan about politics in entertainment, and then make pathetically false claims about a political figure as if its facts? Lol, mate, how can I trust you on issues I know nothing about, when I hear you blatantly make the factually false claim Nicola Sturgeon is a "sh%t politicain" lol How so? Literally one of the most successful politicians in Britain lol Mate, that was sad and pathetic. Tut tut

[@twinzzlers]

​@@mrgreenboy644 Drinker is a hack. His content basically boils down to "woke bad" and that's it, not mentioning his hare brain takes that people just ignore.

[@r.downgrade5836]

@@ChaseDaOrk3767 Then, pray tell, what would you call the targeted destruction of yet *another* wholesome, cultural, intellectual property that also propagates the normalization of pedophilia (15 and 16 year old girls being naked or sexually harassing full grown men on screen) and racism (lots of white bigotry)?

[@vendettatamsu3662]

1:12:07 “Instead, let’s try something more difficult. Let’s try to fix Velma.” Yes. We fix Velma by completely deleting it from existence. There’s no saving this show lmao

[@Darquine]

Mum's English. Dad's a scot. That line on the British "drinking age" had me laughing harder than ANYTHING I've watch off of KZbin lately. You're so right. Think I had my first "shandy" at about 12yrs old.

[@matthewcollins4773]

I give you something that is, in fact, worse than Velma: the knowledge that there will be further Velma to come. It is not yet dead. Mindy Kaling's Scoobian avatar will walk again.

[@DangerZone200]

lmao hopeful she will force herself on another dude with this one and go to actual jail 😂

[@johannesseyfried7933]

"It is not dead which rests eternal" It seems only fitting to compare Velma to a horrible Zombie. Or, in this case, an Eldritch Abomination.

[@LowKiiSavage]

​@@DangerZone200 she's a woman... nothing will happen to her, thanks to the #MeToo society we live in now

[@RanMouri82]

​@@LowKiiSavage But noooo, white male privilege is the real problem. 😏

[@LukzAraujo]

I found your Channel recently, and i really love your takes on this kind of media. Wish you the best, a hug from Brazil.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Obrigado!

[@carterstevenson6009]

My man’s got the entirety of Brazil on his side

[@colinm4055]

I have a feeling for season 2, they're going to have an episode trying to address the hate but then failing miserably because they literally have no clue why it's even hated. It's like the producers and writers are disconnected from reality.

[@claudiaarjangi4914]

@colinm4055 True as.. 🤔 You know those crappy people that are so openly unashamedly shallow, spiteful & hateful, that others are like "haha, very funny", (thinking they are trying to be funny, cos no one normal is like this, & so unashamedly too ) .. But they aren't trying to be funny.. They are simply that unashamedly shallow & hateful that people keep thinking it has to be a joke.. 🤦‍♀️ So these crapolas now believe everyone finds their personality thoughts funny ( all laughing with them ).. But we actually don't & aren't.. We find them hateful, hateable & completely un-selfaware etc.. THIS is the writers.. why they think they are "meta-aware" & funny.. Thinking that just being aware of your crapiness is good enough..😶 ( like saying "Yeah, I'm abusive.. Haha, oh well, let's get on with life", without actually doing anything to be better or not do it..) .. 🤔☮️🌏

[@sirswissmcgristle5413]

Drawn Together was also a show, which had every single aspect of Velma and then some, though it didn't take itself seriously and was one hell of a ride.

[@zoeb3573]

I would have never considered comparing the two but I can kind of see it

[@wilberwhateley7569]

“Drawn Together” knew what it was - “Velma” has no self-awareness whatsoever.

[@JasperLane]

I got a Progressive commercial while watching this. Not a politically Progressive commercial I mean the insurance company Progressive. It made me chuckle more than the show

[@EddyA1337]

Glad to see your channel got some momentum from Mauler and Drinker. Quality analysis

[@RanMouri82]

I subbed to Platoon after he was a guest on EFAP, and I am glad I did.

[@EddyA1337]

@@RanMouri82 Ya man I've found so many good channels from Open Bar and EFAP

[@HIMMBelljuvo]

Men face no consequences for their actions and yet if a man even glances at a girl in a gym he's labeled a creep and society collectively dog piles him. He can get cancelled, lose his job or even get passed over for job opportunities

[@marijkestoll816]

If ever a thing never happened, this never happened the most.

[@StarWarsomania]

@@marijkestoll816 wtf are you talking about, there’s dozens of videos of girl “”influencers”” going to gyms and acting provocatively to illicit male reactions, so that they can flip out at the guys and call for their cancellations when they just vaguely look in their direction.

[@marijkestoll816]

@@StarWarsomania sure that may happen, but no dude has been canceled, lost a job, or got passed over for job opportunities. Those are things that have never happened the most.

[@t0ky0balling57]

I described Velma to someone the other day and they legit asked me if it was a parody.

[@georgemeyers7172]

Honestly it would make a good Robot Chicken Sketch if they realize that yes... This is a parody of the worst kind.

[@ArcherSuh4721]

It must be quite a feeling to become the embodiment of everything that is wrong with modern entertainment. And it's more than likely Mindy Kaling is completely oblivious to it.

[@BWMagus]

Because that is the biggest wrong thing with modern entertainment.

[@YEETUSDAFEETUS]

@@BWMagus what a reach they said she's a good showcase of what's wrong with it now not the worst of it just the problems we hate to see in shows we want to be good

[@YEETUSDAFEETUS]

I know she is she thinks she's the best thing since air

[@sideeyed7682]

@@YEETUSDAFEETUS i think he was referring to the sending half of the comment. The film industry is either gaslighting or acting oblivious with their consumers when it comes to the media they’re producing these days.

[@obscur_artiste]

In a few thousand years, when archaeologists are studying the Silicon Age Collapse, VELMA will be exhibit F.

[@YoMrRice]

"These people do not care about my mental well-being " then shows Thor. I got that reference

[@tunasalad6891]

I love how at 30:32 the mother is murdered, in a cave, by a guy in a welding mask, meaning that he absolutely cannot see anything at all, nor can he hear anything

[@JGGR89]

Of course, there is always more that can be attained by peeling apart the layers of cynically made shows like Velma. But in principle, I'd rather reciprocate the same level of respect the creators of the show gave to the IP they butchered. Little Platoon you make the task of studying this train wreck, and others like it, exponentially bearable and enjoyable.

[@Cp-71]

The creators of this crap definitely thought they'd get a lot of hate watchers - while in reality everyone just stuck to youtube reviews. Fits them right.

[@obscur_artiste]

After only watch reviews, I think I've seen all the episodes five times.

[@jspaingreene6350]

I hated Mindy's character in The Office because i immediately clocked she wasn't playing a character but a fantastical self- insertion... past the point of the shows cringe humor, to truly awful and mean. She's one of the reasons i dislike the latter seasons of the show.

[@barnowl2655]

How good writers shape a story: Intriguing plot, good characters, interesting situations, decent twists, and something that leaves you wanting more. How Mindy Kaling shapes a story: Contradictions on various accounts, annoying characters, agenda over plot, META humor that always falls flat, some of the shittiest attempts at representation on television, and something that makes you want to use a Neuralyzer on yourself to forger everything you just saw.

[@Stealth86651]

Thanks for the content/effort and videos, it's appreciated. Especially submitting yourself to something so brutal, hopefully you take some time off after having to watch that.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I wish! Straight off to do Ant Man. *Then* I might be able to take a break.

[@BurgerWyister20]

@@TheLittlePlatoon Ant Man hasn't been too warmly received. Excited to hear your take on it. I think it's getting worse reviews than eternals.

[@alesterphoenix]

​@@TheLittlePlatoon A break well earned.

[@hosaepalvin9795]

who wants to bet that in the office, Kelly and Ryan’s toxic on-off relationship was Mindys idea? also, is this The Pondering Llama?

[@YEETUSDAFEETUS]

no it's the wondering alpaca

[@ThomasMaiens]

I literaly love that u call him "not shaggy" because thats exactly how i see him too

[@darkpit37]

You know, the side plot of Daphne looking for her parents is starting to feel a bit like the side plot arc in mystery incorporated where Fred goes offscreen for a few episodes to look for his parents after finding out he was adopted.

[@austin9568AuraMasterDX]

I loved when Velma said "It's twerkin time." and proceeded to twerk all over the place.

[@unenown7082]

Holy shit that is hilarious, take my like😭💀

[@sivasankar2784]

Wait a minute!!! That's literally she-hulk

[@schizzo8959]

@@sivasankar2784 Even She-Hulk had more dignity than this trainwreck of a show.

[@acest2098]

@@unenown7082 Bot

[@gabrieldevoogel6225]

As someone who finished the show out of a need to complete what I had started, it made me sick to see how they treated these characters, and Platoon, im so sorry you suffered through this, it makes me feel horrible that anyone saw this and I only watched it, best of wishes for the brain rot that’s going to try and claim you

[@JKurayami]

She also mentions there is no such thing as ghosts. After her and her dad caught a diver man ghost on a fishing line and got scared of it.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Good spot! Though I don’t think continuity was their top priority…

[@JKurayami]

@@TheLittlePlatoon agreed. It's just another drop in the 5 gallon jug of piss.

[@GoblinKnightLeo]

There was no affair. Affair implies cheating. And Velmas mother left.

[@zsolti357]

"Anti writing" I like that! Its like the anti life equation! Nice one!

[@bilalghani8308]

You know something is wrong with your show when watching some dude roast the crap out of it is more entertaining than the show Nice work platoon, keep it up!

[@picard714]

Love the use of underscore music from the original show itself in the background, TLP We love you Ted Nichols...

[@robertleftwich2811]

Congrats on the sponsorship bud. Glad to see your channel doing well.

[@asadtipu5404]

You are an incredibly phenomenal writer and orator. I don't comment on videos often, but goddamn, it's not being pointed out enough. I hope one day you write a book or something because I would read the shit out of that. Absolutely blown away, man. Much love and admiration from one of your ex-colonizeds!

[@froggywithaheart]

as an Indian, the sign off is darkly funny lmaao

[@wibu_berkata]

As someone who doesn't want "hate watching" Velma i appreciate your sacrifice for watching this show

[@brandonlyon730]

Hate watching is fine if you’re willing to sail the high seas’s for just this show.

[@Oturan20]

@@brandonlyon730 I think I'd want a refund, anyway.

[@wibu_berkata]

@@brandonlyon730 my fup and bandwidth is more precious to other task than to sail the high seas for download this shit

[@MinMin4theWinWin]

45:13 ok, say what you will, Norvilles dad looks so sweet! He's so happy for his son! Tbh he might be the best character!

[@actionpants3138]

“Artificial barrier of blockage” pauses video, likes video, short prayer for tonald loke, resume video

[@brucewaynestudio1694]

"...because, comedy."

[@annieandelsieofarendelle3294]

You know if his mom was so worried about the company under Fred why didn't she just raise him to be good at his job? I mean wouldn't that be less time-consuming and chance of being sent to jail forever?

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

Thing is, it’s not even consistent - she’s shown fawning over him in earlier episodes. He’s a mummy’s boy. The “she secretly hates him” bit was just invented for the final episode.

[@annieandelsieofarendelle3294]

@@TheLittlePlatoon Ironically there is a better story laced in there. If I wrote it, his mom, knowing of the project, was going to replace his brain with hers so she can obtain some kind of strange immortality and be able to control the company in the body of her son and then her grandchildren. However, so no one would care what happened about the real Fred, she raised him to be as stupid, unlikable, and obnoxious as possible so when she took over his body no one would care and see her as an improvement to the old Fred. As for Diya Dinkley, she was actually a completely conscious and willing participant in the scheme since in exchange for performing the murders themselves in exchange for a plot for a brand new murder mystery and to get revenge on Velma and her ex-husband by framing them for the murders since Diya thinks they ruined her life after she was forced to marry Aman after a one-night stand got her pregnant. We also learn that Velma's memories about Diya were wrong and that it wasn't Aman who was the abusive one in the relationship, it was Diya who would verbally, emotionally, and physically abuse her husband in front of Velma who he constantly tried to defend. In the end, Victoria and Diya are defeated but Velma and Fred are distraught at finding out everything they knew about their mothers was a lie and in the end, they were just an inconvenience or a means to an end. However, they both decide they won't be like them. For his part, Fred decides that he's going to learn to be more independent and try to become worldly beyond his mom's mental conditioning while Velma realizes how much the abuse her mother inflicted on her father affected her own personality and how she treats others and decides to finally seek therapy and apologizes to the other for how she treated them.

[@brandonlyon730]

Or just hypnotize Fred to change his personality, like she has the power to manipulate people’s minds and she instead goes with this convoluted plan.

[@annieandelsieofarendelle3294]

@@brandonlyon730 I mean if they changed it to where she was just a mad scientist wanting to see how long the human brain can last outside the body then that would at least make some sense.

[@YEETUSDAFEETUS]

@@annieandelsieofarendelle3294 see that's a story that could've had a lot more interesting and cool turns instead of whatever this is

[@theheroofreviews6630]

You know I never noticed this the first time I watch the show but Fred has the most character development in the entire show think about it he starts off as a rich spoiled kid who can't do a thing to a guy who wants to be his own person

[@darrenmays2036]

it's also unbelievable that anyone would show up to a sleep over at Velma's.

[@shinian6523]

The closed captioning on this video is funnier than the show: "tree movement of men"

[@Coconut-219]

"Guys help... I left my Velma in the oven too long and its burned."

[@dionstewart7394]

That one line is the most disrespectful reference to the source material for anything I've ever seen. How dare such a classless show belittle a titan like classic Scooby-Doo.

[@tobygoodman9134]

I really appreciate you making this video. We live in a world where we want better TV shows, yet we also 'want' band shows so we get content like this.

[@TheLittlePlatoon]

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy ripping terrible content. But Velma really did transcend that and become a pain.

[@lapantony]

Normally bad content is bad in a funny way, or can be rather easily perceived as such. This shit though, this is just not okay, this needs to stop now