VENDING MACHINE OF LOVE | The Theme from OnlyCans

[@TheStupendium]

OnlyCans: Thirst Date is now availavle for FREE on Steam! store.steampowered.com/app/417360/ #gaming_news LYRICS: VERSE 1 Hey guys, are your lips dry? Any desiccated ladies trying to get by? I know the best way for the girls and the boys to Come together and enjoy a little moisture So you’re waiting on the mate that’s one-a-million? And carbonation ain’t the way that you envisioned You say it’s strange but baby shed your inhibitions And let your date slip into something aluminium She’s elegant and eloquent and so effervescent Subtle bubbles in my stubble feeling ever so pleasant Never thought I’d find a girl with such a delicate essence Free with the meal deal at the delicatessen Saw you sittin’ in the fridge with a twinkle Are you a multipack can or are you single? A little of sipping and a spritz isn’t sinful I’m just finna get my finger in your ring pull CHORUS So slot your pennies in the vending machine of love And pick that fizzy little minx that you’ve been dreaming of If you’re cursed with the thirst of a lonely man You can get your juices flowing with some OnlyCans Every glamorous can has a heart to fill So I hope that you can handle three-thirty mil Get lost in the froth as the foam expands Get your lovin’ whilst you’re gluggin’ on some OnlyCans VERSE 2 Now you’ve seen other paysite galleries But none of those girls taste like raspberries So if you think we’re just some obscene cannery All our cans are over eighteen calories So, give a spray for some flirtatious behaviour That come-hither hiss is what you came for We’ve been brewing up a plethora of flavours Say we’re crude, you can never say we’re tasteless So if you drink it straight or with a mixer Bring a mister or a missus home for dinner Everybody’s got a different fizzle in their spritzer What’s it matter what ingredients are on your sticker? I haven’t met you all, but it’s contextual You’re all impeccable if it’s consensual If you’re ace, demi, pan, flexible End of the day we are all can-sexual CHORUS So slot your pennies in the vending machine of love And pick that fizzy little minx that you’ve been dreaming of If you’re cursed with the thirst of a lonely man You can get your juices flowing with some OnlyCans Every glamorous can has a heart to fill So I hope that you can handle three-thirty mil We can semi-guarantee that we won’t be banned Get your lovin’ whilst you’re gluggin’ on some OnlyCans VERSE 3 May be fizzy but I’ll spit a little candour Sure it’s sticky but we’ll lick the spillage after There’s only one app for tin-can philanderers Snapping what the can did with your candid camera Can a can cancan? Yes it can, all the cans in Cannes are Canuck cans in Canada, Manly cans in Canberra in canoes Grabbing noodles and canoodling with cans in Can Tho Mexican cans in Cancun, scandalously scantily clad in their scanties and decanting at you Camping with a Scandinavian can, under a canopy, alone in a canyon with your can boo Share a cannoli with Italian cans on the canals before a candlelit dance Then canter off to Canterbury for a canny romance, you better cancel your plans This Can-sonova can’t handle the demand Of Cantabrian cañ-oritas in cantinas with fans on the Canary Islands Strip canasta ‘til you’re down to your pants and your can-panion froths over your hand Damn, these Cantonese Shizes are your creamiest stans So go over to - Can-bodia, You can let the local flavour flow over you Getting down with the hard, round chromium Lovin’s never been so low-sodium Can looking like a snack? That’s a canape Can-paining like Barack? That’s a candidate Can sweet on your tongue? That’s a candy cane Can rocking them guns? That’s some cannonade Feel that can in your heart? That’s a cannula Can sends it’s regards? That’s a Canister Inquisitive can? That’s a canvasser Insensitive can? Cantankerous CHORUS So slot your pennies in the vending machine of love And pick that fizzy little minx that you’ve been dreaming of If you’re cursed with the thirst of a lonely man You can get your juices flowing with some OnlyCans Every glamorous can has a heart to fill So I hope that you can handle three-thirty mil Hey, don’t touch, just hold the cam Get your lovin’ whilst you’re gluggin’ on some OnlyCans SPOKEN OUTRO: So download OnlyCans, the game for soda lovers! It’s got very high ratings! …Oh, oh sorry. No. It’s very ‘hydrating’, my mistake.

[@mcavity]

How did you miss JAMAY-CAN?

[@definitelyamagikarp4380]

This song might be the last piece of evidence of human life in the future and that scares me.

[@dersanitater8455]

This was a very good song

[@HAPpYHObO.]

Availavle

[@Dominik_G]

Hey Stupes, the game is not available in germany, seems I need a VPN. . . xD

[@cherylesm9347]

Did I really just enjoy a song about sexualized cans? Yes. Do I regret it? Hell no.

[@iexist6392]

same tbh

[@laylawaheba6405]

Same

[@masterrbg]

How CANdid of you, I admire your CANdor.

[@ronsugartits7824]

just like me fr

[@themarked2820]

*This is ironically my favorite song of his right now.*

[@metaforth]

I feel he's just had this song on his computer for years and was just waiting for any excuse he could find to upload it without looking suspicious

[@randomdragon2589]

OnlyCans is in fact... A real game

[@metaforth]

@@randomdragon2589 I didn't say it's not...?

[@Morningstar_37]

@@randomdragon2589 But who says the game was there before the song?

[@williamsmith6921]

@@randomdragon2589 the game was made as a cover for the song obviously /s

[@tman2132]

@@williamsmith6921 obviously

[@augustussnider1938]

"Im sorry in advance" *proceeds to make an absolute banger*

[@pixilpiro1223]

Get some help

[@basil4154]

@@pixilpiro1223 never

[@TwinaWina]

@@pixilpiro1223 if u think j need to get help for liking this song, then i think u need that help.

[@pixilpiro1223]

@@TwinaWina I also like this, So ill get some help,Just so you know, He already said get help

[@pixilpiro1223]

@Totally Unstoppable Why wouldnt be ohio

[@haydenk6459]

“Hey I’m making a silly little game about romantic sodas, think you could make a little jingle for the title screen for me? Nothing too crazy” Stupendium: *focused thinking of over 100 can puns* “yea I think I can make something”

[@looptroupe4368]

so real, i dont know why no ones talking about how he made this absolute fire just for his buddies silly little can game

[@ENERGIZEDWOLFE]

REALL

[@leosangome866]

"I'm very sorry you had to see that" "If you enjoyed the song, please get help" i have never been so offended by something i 100% agree with

[@kelvinpete9605]

@ExtraGoose Animations Same-

[@mr.poohmakes2041]

I’m sorry for people who haven’t seen this

[@michaelzhang9806]

This is so cursed and yet so groovy at the same time

[@Solaric_]

Wait-

[@gaminggamer4845]

me to

[@Mrotstorm]

i am speechless. i never thought id love a song about oversexualized soft drinks but here i am. but seriously this is just amazing i love it

[@dpshadow7276]

Of course he "can"

[@hihih2580]

@@dpshadow7276 💀💀💀💀

[@orangefizzy]

@@dpshadow7276 *they

[@Raster_Rasper]

"I'd never thought I'd love a song about oversexualizing soft drinks" i

[@MelonHere20]

XD I mean same though

[@enraikow6109]

I can't believe it took me my entire life until now to realize that every letter in LGBTQ stands for can-sexual.

[@artoriasgameing6601]

Unless your ace then your cant-sexual

[@women4569]

@@artoriasgameing6601 lmao that was good one ngl

[@Real_Life_Killjoy]

@@artoriasgameing6601 💀

[@OldandAbandonedHarcorte]

@@Clownish.mp4 They Can-Sexual, as in Have Sex. They Can in fact, Sexual. I think.

[@Clownish.mp4]

@@OldandAbandonedHarcorte i just woke up i can't understand that, ill read it when im more awake

[@olafkissington9881]

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve been told to “get your mind out of the gutter” in reference to beverages in a Stupendium song about beverages, I’d have 2 nickels, which isn’t a lot but dang is it hilarious that it happened twice

[@hello_ree]

doofenshmrit quote real

[@chrisjones5949]

Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

[@IrregularityRowan]

🟦 🟧 :/ 🟫 🟦 🟧 >:O

[@williamk.2357]

Hello Doctor, been awhile~.

[@jiangshimarionette]

nagito pfp

[@akuraproductions3550]

The fact that this game is secretly about a guy trying to bring his son back to life via innocent souls trapped in soda cans makes this song feel a bit more sinister than intended.

[@itsgirlcraft5842]

Came from the game theory video too?

[@akuraproductions3550]

@@itsgirlcraft5842 Yep!

[@thespectaculargamernerd8114]

It does explain why the cans are quite, uh, *vocal*.

[@vriecibel]

This makes the line: never thought I find a girl with such delicate essence' feel different remember he might be talking about the spirt in the can

[@cyberneticblood7291]

I mean The Stupendium is an ace on making villain songs that imo rival Disney

[@emilym.6175]

If this is a song about soft drinks and nothing else... ...does that mean it's a pop song?

[@strange9560]

*Badum, Chhh*

[@benjistyles19]

“If your cursed with the thirst of a lonely man”

[@purplehaze2235]

This, this is why I love humanity.

[@Kingcd1045]

Sans is that you

[@ladygreenwithenvy]

Soda pop song >:)

[@gustavakerman2566]

You took “sex sells” to a whole new level. Corporate would be proud

[@YAPTWYA]

yes indeed

[@arthurmartin4616]

Frankly so did the actual game 💀

[@0ri0n.0n.p4ws]

SEX SELLS AND SO DOES LUST BUT WHERE DOES IT ALL COME FROM- /lyr

[@xyiux]

I think corprate wants to destroy them because of the fine print and the production line

[@WilliamAftonOfficial_]

"get your mind out of the gutters" The Stupendium has never sounded more british Edit: THE MAN HIMSELF RESPONDED :OOOOOO

[@TheStupendium]

Have you seen my House Flipper song? Or Mask of the Rose? :P

[@WilliamAftonOfficial_]

@@TheStupendium naw im a new fan, but i'll check it out!

[@forcicri93]

I'd HEAVILY recommend listening to Neath. Don't be afraid about the lenght of it and just give It a listen. I found It like that and It is my favorite song of all time now

[@alexs5814]

For me it was and always will be: "I've always saw it more of a Cut Here."

[@KhalidTalbot]

Bit British innit bruv.

[@spgarcia055]

the pan-colored cans, the fancy outfits, the music, the puns, i love everything about this

[@0led0lai]

nice pfp

[@_0Happy_Face0_]

I didn't even notice the pan-cans! 😮

[@VictoriousVittrio]

Kel 👍

[@whatsinswillhecomit]

@@_0Happy_Face0_ Me either until I saw the mv

[@SadJesterPuppet_thing]

I like you pfp lmao

[@jomojas5786]

Everyone: You can’t just make a song where all the rhymes are can Stupendium: What if I did so anyway

[@cat-714]

then it would turn out amazing

[@robbyrabago1437]

you missed your chance to say "But you see... I *can*."

[@phoenixsupportsyou8109]

@@robbyrabago1437 Or to say "Hold my can"

[@nostop69420]

“Yes I can.”

[@Sylvi3cat]

Nothing else *only cans?*

[@Wolie318]

Onlycans developers: this is impossible, we'll never find someone crazy enough to make music for our game! Stupendium's friend, lit by dramatic lighting: I know a guy

[@percymcplop]

Yes!

[@lukasbanana4949]

Genius

[@carjis]

“LIT BY DRAMATIC LIGHTING”

[@ghostlywhispers32]

I know a great musical guy

[@Eldr1tchGl1tch]

I CHOKED ON MY BREAKFAST LMAO

[@exploertm8738]

"If you enjoyed the song, then please get help" Stups aint pulling any punches 💀

[@catbatrat1760]

Okay, how is it even PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE for somebody to be THIS good at puns?????? Did this dude make a deal with Satan or something to get this insane level of skill???? 😂

[@anangelnamedcecil4958]

Knowing The Stupendium, most likely. After all.... It's whiskey business when you're playing Devil's Advocate, and this beverage needs leverage to ever get away.

[@ultrio325]

Paganini 2

[@blankcanvasstudios3463]

Since pans are just an upgraded species of us bisexuals, I suppose the puns are just a part of the... Meal Deal. I'm sorry

[@catbatrat1760]

@@blankcanvasstudios3463 I don't get it.

[@akarithesilly]

@@catbatrat1760 meal and deal rhyme , i think thats why

[@ashcyr3711]

I counted them saying the word "can" no less than 87 times in this

[@fxntxsyyy]

fun fact, it's actually exactly 90

[@Ducking_Wanderer]

was this comment the Can of 87?! lol.

[@personwhoexists1246]

I got 82 when i counted

[@kor5199]

The bite of 87?

[@joshuaherring1339]

are we including the puns?

[@memory.3015]

I’m a Vietnamese who has been listening to a hell ton of English musics, so the “grabbing noodles and canooding with Cans in Cần Thơ” hit me like a damn truck and left my jaw dropped 😭😭😭

[@nguyenquynhtrang5556]

Lmao samee

[@BallinTillYourDead]

The Italian part hit me like a pizza cutter

[@memory.3015]

@@BallinTillYourDead HELP

[@ilikebreadsticks235]

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN-

[@memory.3015]

@@ilikebreadsticks235 Cần Thơ is a city in Vietnam, I wasn’t expecting something Vietnam-related to be mentioned in the song

[@BENANAZAUCE]

as an aroace person who doesn’t drink carbonated drinks, I’ve been listening to this for days on end. thank you for this song stupendium

[@Cookiejar614]

Me too actually, crazy how many of us love this song

[@justabooberv4298]

Same tbh

[@nubbyboi6523]

Me too but a wise person once said, “we are all can-sexual”

[@Fable869]

There are three things in this song that I love : 1. That beat 2. Mentioning the commonly forgot about sexualities (bout time for me to see something with pan in it!) 3. Not mentioning the fact that the cans strait up have souls in them and there is a flesh can with the soul of the CEOs son.

[@standardhuman8675]

yeah, youd think the whole flesh-can thing would be right up stupes' alley

[@deepstrike9750]

WAIT DON'T BRING UP THE THIRST BORN

[@forestlol6865]

You’ve got 420 likes, nice

[@angelheart5584]

Although there is a very vague illusion to the third thing with the line, "What's it matter what ingredients are on your sticker?"

[@boop8386]

i think you mean, can

[@gloomyTurtle413]

The fact that this song manages to be so queer-positive and sex-positive, by shining light on not as talked about sexualities, spreading important messages about consent and bringing up how sex isn’t something to be ashamed of in any (consensual) form because everyone is different and that’s ok while also being a song about dead souls trapped in pornographic soda cans and being an absolute banger is so impressive. Props to the Stupendium, they’ve truly outdone themself

[@TheStupendium]

Thank you so much! I'm glad the messaging came across!

[@Mayb3_Br0]

This explained it perfectly.

[@sillyscrunkle]

shouldve said cansensual

[@ilujabista9130]

now I feel even worse

[@gloomyTurtle413]

@@ilujabista9130 …why

[@miggy9942]

He flexes his vocabulary and his style of clothing. Only he can pull it off

[@OxygenBeats]

only he CAN do it

[@ChestersonJack]

Unfortunately, to me, every man can pull off that style of clothing... and ONLY that style of clothing. Why does it look good to me?!

[@miggy9942]

@@ChestersonJack not entirely sure. Probably you like those who are outgoing with their style

[@TheStupendium]

Can we not talk so much about pulling off my clothing? For one you might break the buttons!

[@miggy9942]

@@TheStupendium I agree with you. There is too many good things to say that if I typed it all my fingers would fall off

[@_Just_bee]

00:22 I think that's the most British I've heard the stupendium sound including when he made Neath!

[@d.n5287]

Stupendium's search history: Locations that start with Can Words that start with Can Idioms and phrases that start with Can Can puns

[@tretretre1111]

@@cantchange901 Nothing wrong with perusing, browsing, skimming through, or even just a cursory glance at the thesaurus.

[@dianadoraen7864]

His history while making Rouge Gallery must be twice the length of equator.

[@justkrieger8850]

@@tretretre1111 I was expecting you using some can puns....but i guess you *can*T

[@rihanm.sgoogleaccount4462]

MI6 is currently wondering if they should ask the NHS to dispatch an ambulance to his house.

[@SirConto]

@@cantchange901 Even if he did, that doesn't mean he didn't look up those things. It's one thing to get a hundred words with can in it, it's another to make song lyrics out of them. Anyway, in his song "amateur wordsmith" he outright says that "you'll often find him leafing through a damp thesaurus".

[@Ballira]

Someone had to paint a bunch of cans that they then had to dress up in ties, bows and garters for this. If it wasn't Stupendium Man himself, I wonder what poor soul had to do that.

[@TheStupendium]

That was all me. :P

[@Ballira]

@@TheStupendium I applaud your devotion to the project and how much attention to detail you paid. Because of you I actually did look up the game and had an amazing time torturing my boyfriend as we played it together. Thank you and thanks to your friend for this game!

[@theworstghost123]

@@Ballira He puts so much effort into his songs, it’s genuinely stunning!

[@Gaming.Gamer.]

@@TheStupendium All alone?😳 Damn I don't know if I want to know how long this took. Must've been a lot of work...

[@lavenderlane4753]

That's a dream job!

[@hydropro2274]

If I had a nickel for every time the Stupendium made a song about beverages and told me to get my mind out of the gutter, I'd have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird it happened twice.

[@hydropro2274]

@Samael Strebinger this and the cuphead song

[@kidjames6875]

If you're wondering it's "Milk Milk Lemonade"

[@bernardomarkuskampffdemelo4323]

@@kidjames6875 Fun fact: There is an Amy Schumer song with the same name!

[@InvasionAnimation]

Don't forget his christmas song with the santa cola.

[@Grimaldus18]

@@bernardomarkuskampffdemelo4323 a disgrace

[@ShetlandShanty]

I just realized that "get your mind out of the gutter" is something Stupes says in their Milk Milk Lemonade song, which has over a hundred beverage puns- soft drinks included.

[@stardust-reverie]

“say we’re crude you can never say we’re tasteless” is a CRIMINALLY underrated line

[@apterixuwu]

All of his lines are underrated tbh

[@jsloanhpi]

Agreed, one of the best. Dude drops a couple high-quality bon mots almost every time, this is one of them here for sure.

[@kylerivera3470]

@@apterixuwu Not all of them. Some of them get the recognition they deserve.

[@michaelzhang9806]

This is probably one of my favorite songs of his, I love it so much.

[@Yokmakarok]

What's the deal with comments like "[something] - is underrated line"!? Aren't we already here to appreciate all lines of the song? How do you even know what lines rated what in other's minds?

[@candycoated_rage6591]

This was advertised as a completely normal song and I was not disappointed! Totally not romantic and it’s a just song about soda pop :)

[@TheStupendium]

This person gets it!

[@standardhuman8675]

Not to mention that it SLAPS

[@littlesounder1932]

Completely normal song, it's just about soda!

[@five_times_avy]

You sound so ironic...?

[@candycoated_rage6591]

@@five_times_avy shh don’t reveal my secret

[@moingram4950]

Oh man, as an asexual with a soda addiction this was actually all I needed in life. I've been playing this song on repeat for weeks!

[@The_miIk]

Same!!

[@andrasjanosi3765]

We are unCANnily similar.

[@chalkish4855]

KA sparkling black grape my belovéd

[@Kai_Patton_Lilith]

Hello fellow soda-loving ace person

[@Damien_LeftTheChat]

I’m aroace but I just found out I’m can-sexual

[@Znaffers]

The fact this is one of The Stupendium's highest viewed videos on their channel makes me happy

[@unrestrainedclown2808]

why is it that a song about sexualizing soft drinks is better than half the stuff on the radio

[@egg_mittens]

Cuz sexualizing soft drinks is so much less uncomfortable than the constant sexualization of humans in songs on the radio.

[@bethanydavis9023]

Person_4 summed it up great. The radio has long since become a scess pool + some sorta decent stations and bops when it comes to music

[@bronsonbeagle6834]

Yep it is

[@300IQPrower]

As someone who works retail i can assure you it’s all the stuff on the radio.

[@TextualDeviant]

Because of shitty copyright laws.

[@BurdieFromHell]

Imagine sitting down and seeing an email from your friend. It says "Hey man, you make really good game-themed songs! I'm working on a game can you make one for my game?" So you're like, "Alright bet. Send the game and I'll see what I can do!" And "soda can fetish the game" is what they send...

[@Br_wnskinarii]

This is probably what happened

[@LustSans-j9v]

@@Br_wnskinarii check the desc

[@rustage]

this is one of the most incredible things i have ever seen in my life

[@TheStupendium]

Awh, jeez! Thanks Rusty!

[@TheSGL]

Only, if he Can agree with it.

[@cheese3996]

@@TheSGL is that pun intentional?

[@yesimrealhuman4245]

i recommend you play the actual game, can i dare to say it every second is a wallpaper can-tendar

[@robertrucker9210]

Is there hope for a collab between Rustage and stupendium

[@panwitt]

imagine using your unbelievable talent for lyricism to make this song. thats not a shot honestly we need more insanely talented musicians doing stuff like this.

[@nininyoko13]

"What's your favorite song?" "It's... complicated. But awesome."

[@HaganeNoGijutsushi]

Me, explaining some of my favourite KZbin songs to my grandkids: "At the time we used to play Minecraft, and someone who did made this song about being a dwarf that digs holes. There was one about Yoda from Star Wars ranting about being attacked by seagulls. And of course the sexy innuendo rap about soft drinks." "Sure, grandpa. Now take your meds."

[@nininyoko13]

@@HaganeNoGijutsushi I love it XDD

[@AgabeGames]

"We can semi-guarantee that we won't be banned" is my favorite line.

[@peterswagger2437]

This proves that Stupendium is so talented that he CAN make a song out of anything . This was Soda-lightful.

[@BipsAhoyBocolateBipBookies]

The door is that way ->

[@michaelzhang9806]

Trash can not anymore.

[@Off-Brand08]

Dude the Stupendium is a pop singer

[@astergh0st]

listening to this during a depressive episode cuz my therapist told me i should listen to happy music instead of sad music when i feel bad. i don't know why this is the first happy song i thought of but i think it's helping so thanks

[@atistaldi7140]

Now I'm just amused by the idea of them doing all this dancing in an empty, silent room in front of a green screen

[@TheStupendium]

No green screen on this video! ;)

[@axolotl5477]

i cant imagine how many times you must have cracked up while recording

[@Nalimias]

@@TheStupendium ah, now it makes sense: the infinite white can-filled void is obviously the Matrix!

[@Asupreme]

@@TheStupendium NO GREEN SCREEN?! That's way too impressive..!

[@ggs27]

@@TheStupendium You had cans floating? Now THAT would be impressive

[@theinfinium3247]

My name is permanently on this? I regret many life decisions, this is not one of them. Great song as always.

[@Dr.-Stoat]

Wait, 1 day ago?????

[@melthecattt]

WAIT TIME TRAVELER

[@lukiklepsa6218]

Early access that is why.

[@inkycreator41]

H- how just gow

[@melthecattt]

@@lukiklepsa6218 i know its called a joke

[@gstarlight6269]

Yesterday i found this song on Spotify. I never noticed it was a song about sexualized cans...holy hell. I love this.

[@Nikowo1610]

What did you think it was then, just a normal song about soda cans???

[@Theonea883]

Me too, 🤣🤣 o good person

[@Theonea883]

​@@Nikowo1610 YES, I'm am very dense

[@Nikowo1610]

@@Theonea883 honestly yeah, valid

[@limesandlemons1367]

@@Theonea883 you really took the "this is a song about soft drinks and nothing else" to heart huh 😭😭

[@Spino-Raptor5]

I actually went through with a pencil and paper and throughout the whole song (not inclunding any in the intro or outro or echoes at the end of some lines) you said the word *Can* 87 times! There's got to be some kind of award for this

[@Jammakesjunk]

I CAN't believe it!

[@DanyaV-real]

Why pencil and paper when you can just: text = {copy lyrics} print(text.lower().count("can")) (btw I got 89)

[@lukaswyszynski9210]

WAS THAT THE CAN OF 87?!

[@emyjuli2724]

@@DanyaV-real I got 90, using a clicker counter, clicked every time I heard/saw in lyrics "can"

[@DanyaV-real]

@@emyjuli2724 True, the problem with my method was that it didn't count the word "cañ". Thanks for your correction. (Also I know that comment is 1 month old but I was too lazy to reply earlier and only now decided to do it okay goodbye)

[@elisechiari3103]

As an ace person I’m literally crying, we never get representation, especially in these types of songs I love it

[@echolegend4400]

I gasped in excitement!!

[@CethIsADevil]

I know right!

[@rockgirl6786]

Mood

[@novawinters7695]

because it's sexual, and you are ace, therefore it seems odd it participate with the sexual song, yk?

[@Beru_stan]

Yes it was amazing

[@zoneanomaly4780]

I think Stupendium is the only person who can say he's made a song around the subject of falling in love with cans

[@checkerhat327]

I'd argue with that but I don't think I can.

[@zoneanomaly4780]

@@checkerhat327 It's hard to be cantankerous about it

[@glitchmaker010]

Well, i decided to check OnlyCans once and chest on diet a bit. And then I pick a can and noticed it was a diet one, 15 Kcal Anyway, I'm locked up now :/

[@elohimcabrera]

There may be one *says in a dramatic deep voice I have heard of an anime of legend with... Can waifu's! Akikan...*dramatic pause It's intro or outro may have what you are looking for... I can't remember *said in normal voice

[@blarg2429]

@@elohimcabrera I don't know why I'm surprised that that's a thing.

[@nicksmit2909]

This song manages to be wonderfully sex positive, LGBT+ friendly, pro sex industry, while also being deeply hilarious and an absolute banger. Smashed it again Stupendium!

[@Starman062]

It’s amazing he made a completely normal song about soft drinks so expansive.

[@michaelzhang9806]

It’s amazing how a song about being horny for soda cans is such a banger

[@Starman062]

@@michaelzhang9806 wut u mean?

[@end3rdb]

The song says "You CAN be what you want, we all have drinked from Cans"

[@SCP_Wandsman13_13]

Definitely a "bang"er. Couldn't resist.

[@ThePokemonSquadX]

Not sure if anyone will ever read this but as an ace person the one line of recognition really means so much. Its been years since this song released but ive finally accepted myaelf and this aort of recognition does ab indescribable amount of good

[@minecraftegg3607]

"I'm very sorry you had to see that" "If you enjoyed the song, please get help" Never have I heard such lies

[@Reddazrael]

"If you enjoyed the song, please get help." I'm afraid there's no cure for good taste.

[@josuebarreragonzalez5627]

you sure can*'t!!

[@Patch778]

If you make one more pun I will sh*tCAN you Wait...crap

[@Patch778]

@@josuebarreragonzalez5627 it's a joke, don't be mad

[@josuebarreragonzalez5627]

@@Patch778 i know i was just joking or CAN't i?

[@Patch778]

@@josuebarreragonzalez5627 Yes, you CAN (That was cheap)

[@imbaconplate8872]

Am i the only one who wants to hear him make a song for Papers please?

[@robertrucker9210]

Yes this NEEDS to happen

[@Asupreme]

That would be really, really interesting. Especially considering the sad undertones the game has!

[@honque545]

That would be amazing

[@mmgmagic]

Me too! If there's anyone who can make a great original song about corruption, the economy and patrotism then it's good ol' Stupendium!

[@countshrubula5997]

He liked your comment. Prepare for wishes to come true.

[@cetadel6597]

Can't even cansider something like this to be canon to the Stupendium's cantinuation of a healthy community. Can you?

[@fufu_kunnn]

Gotta speak candidly, I can't

[@cetadel6597]

@@fufu_kunnn with full candor?

[@rayvenshade1823]

Fun fact: the word "can" is said 90 times throughout this song, and only 19 of those times are not in the 3rd verse.

[@ceballosmaximo8502]

oh wth

[@ipadair7345]

WHY?

[@Johnny-Silverhand-V-Arasaka]

How many times have you listened to this song ?

[@Starman062]

“Please get help”

[@monstruswallaby9981]

can you stop.

[@DJFlare84]

"So if you think we're just some obscene cannery, all our cans are over 18... CALORIES!" - UNDERRATED LINE.

[@egg_mittens]

So many times I was like "this is actually just a dirty jo- oh. No. It's still about cans."

[@bronsonbeagle6834]

He is amazing

[@DarkSoSpooky]

maybe underrated, but not underage

[@alexs5814]

@@DarkSoSpooky I like my wine like i love my women. Over a hundred and cooling in my basement.

[@septicaemia5699]

@@alexs5814 I like my wine like I like my women. I don't

[@Br4x]

“Call us crude, you can never say we’re tasteless.” This man. is a GODDAMN. LYRICAL. GENIUS!!

[@RiixxMC]

I don't get it. Maybe cause english isn't ma first language

[@archedkraken3119]

@@RiixxMC crude (in drinks): if something doesn't have a certain softness that is wanted, it is called crude. crude (in dating): if someone is rude or unfiltered, they are crude. Tasteless (in general): tasteless is something that doesn't have flavour. Tasteless (in relationships): when a person is boring, doesn't talk much or doesn't do much in a relationship, they are tasteless. Because soft drinks always have flavour, they *cannot* be tasteless. But soft drinks *can* be crude. The line is good because it works as a sentence for relationships, but also can be a sentence for soft drinks. This makes it clever.

[@RiixxMC]

@@archedkraken3119 thank you so much! :)

[@RFXN_Emulator]

Technically, soft drinks "can" be flavourless... LaCroix

[@Baconcapybara]

This peak was kept away from me for 3 years

[@zharper]

Admit it this is the most fun you've had writing and filming a song

[@wakipaki7381]

You know, sometimes people ask "Is Parody Art?" And then we see a song about an adult dating sim about soda. And I think the only true reply is "It Can Be."

[@foxxo_3584]

It Only-can be

[@snifflesthetissuebox]

It CAN be

[@Mark73]

Stupes doesn't do parodies. He does homages.

[@friedbeanz3953]

@@Mark73 why CAN't he do both

[@emperorkiron3470]

Pimp Stupendium isn't real, he can't hurt you. Pimp Stupendium:

[@thepic4032]

Pimp Stupendium's presence is a slap to the face and I thank him for it.

[@ChestersonJack]

I’d let him be my pimp

[@cellohowslife5817]

Stupimpdium

[@landonadams9935]

Bold of you to assume The Stupendium isn’t a pimp

[@cartoonmaster2401]

Ofmg🤣

[@cypher_mortis]

I'm not saying this song is something I listen to often, but its hard to be sad when listening to a song about sexy soda cans.

[@ittybitty_schmidty8311]

It's super catchy for literally no reason

[@fancypantsism]

So we found the cure for momentary depression

[@snowyforest6058]

Stupendium can literally make a song about anything and make it good. Like, just give him a piece of a brick wall and he can make a song about crumbling society or something.

[@JoaoSilva-nx7ql]

If he’s making a song about a brick, it better be a collaboration with Berry D. Brick from the Tekking101 channel

[@ipadair7345]

@@JoaoSilva-nx7ql and half as intresting

[@SCP_Wandsman13_13]

More likely that he'll use it as a prop in a song on how capitalism is pure evil. He's done that so many times.

[@nininyoko13]

DON'T GIVE HIM IDEAS Actually, YES please, I have to see that

[@hbomberguy]

I've listened to this like 500 times

[@josuebarreragonzalez5627]

you can* still listen to it if you want (sorry i had to)

[@TheStupendium]

Glad you're enjoying it, man! :D

[@OxyOxspring]

I'm not sorry in the slightest.

[@hac8eamg357]

this is my 501th

[@roman_abmz]

Hey! Is that guy that does the videos... Occasionally. 😋

[@SharkBitee2]

As a panromanic asexual I was shocked and beyond ecstatic to hear my romantic and lack of sexual identity being mentioned!! This truly made my day and made you guys be put very high up on my favorite song artists. Besides that, it's very catchy and I'm glad it became a trend or otherwise I would of never heard this, I wish you and your wonderful team a great day!! ^^

[@yeanofullname4283]

As a Demisexual, I was ecstatic. Most people say that it isn't even a valid sexuality and to here him include it? I screamed.

[@jacobkiser165]

I don't care

[@alastortheradiodemon8423]

@@jacobkiser165 absolutely no one asked

[@SharkBitee2]

@@yeanofullname4283 You are absolutely valid, don't ever doubt it, k?

[@yeanofullname4283]

@@SharkBitee2 okay. Thank you

[@thematiuxt]

Vending machine of love: Febreary 2021 Stupes coming out as pan: May 2021 On a totally unrelated note The cans in the background Pink Yellow Cyan. "Bring a mister or a missus home for dinner Everybody’s got a different fizzle in their spritzer What’s it matter what ingredients are on your sticker?" "If youre ace, demi, Pan, flexible"

[@anotherdnb]

Both a Pan icon and a Can icon.

[@ludekbis9540]

I don't know what's better, Stupendium's vocabulary or his outfit

[@zebaguettefromfrance1287]

he's as fancy as he is verbose and i wouldn't have it any other way.

[@djwolf3810]

The answer is yes

[@ariannaseguin5929]

Yes

[@bernardomarkuskampffdemelo4323]

His outfit makes him look like an actor from brazilian erotic comedies from the 1970's!

[@alexs5814]

Well you know it, no one else has that many hats^^

[@theeswinkler4998]

Love the subtle message about the LGBTQ+ Community in the middle. The song is a slap, I love the vocals of the chorus so much

[@xxashton_shadowzxx]

Plus if you look real close, the cans floating around in the background are the pansexual colors

[@ItsMrOutLaw]

@@xxashton_shadowzxx I thought they were just coloured cans

[@trashcan1432]

@@xxashton_shadowzxx pansexual more like cansexual

[@glitterplatter]

2:05

[@theresaprice6291]

We all are cansexual.

[@WisKy64VT]

The third verse is better than anything i will ever create in my entire life. i apologize in advance to my future children

[@RandomCriticalRocket]

Oh god… I fizzed everywhere..

[@5ome5tranger]

😧

[@aoifesworld3420]

NAHHHHH-

[@localyoutuber2575]

WHAT

[@Carma281]

Rocket Fizzed

[@anotherdnb]

Sodaxual assault

[@itsmafie4641]

I swear this guy could write a song about "General Relativity" and it would somehow turn out to be another banger.

[@aranellonsora5038]

knowing stupendium...if he sees ur comment he might be up to something lol

[@samuelebalduzzi5376]

NCR ranger, you are right

[@TheCraftingJedi]

CAN WE MAKE THIS A THING XD

[@ArmoryMedia]

*salutes* o7 General Relativity!

[@archedkraken3119]

'Well relatively speaking this relativity's speakings is quite the language of speakings Of intellectual teachings By quite delectable beings Needing a set set of meanings' Oh god I'm envisioning it so well I'm starting to write the lyrics

[@maxlyrenhex]

From Twitter we were promised a totally normal song with nothing to worry about. I consider this to be a promise fulfilled. ;P Amazing.

[@bakatoaster6000-yt]

Hol up- Why does ur comment say 1 day ago While the vid was 7 minutes ago XD

[@TheLaughingBurger]

@@bakatoaster6000-yt maybe people on Patron got an early look and listen?

[@JameyMcQueen]

@@bakatoaster6000-yt Several ways: 1 - Time travel 2 - KZbin is broken 3 - early access

[@bakatoaster6000-yt]

@@JameyMcQueen probably 2 lol Or 1 O. 0

[@bakatoaster6000-yt]

@@TheLaughingBurger maybe

[@ComicalRealm]

I have a feeling OnlyCans is going to turn into a massive meme within the next couple of months

[@watrfall3642]

Meme? I think you mean most popular website

[@phahlastname8321]

We can say we where the first

[@diamondshadow7999]

Agreed

[@theemperorcat9832]

Damn those cans look HOT

[@standardhuman8675]

Yes. The future is bright.

[@Star_paws-]

At 1:12 when he says "minx" the can is purple with gaming headphones and there is a twitch streamer/gamer called Minx who has purple hair

[@annef0x]

As a Panromantic demisexual, I was just so pleasantly surprised to hear my identity being talked about so Thank you Stupendium!!💖💛💙

[@rhodes449]

And I’m a demiromantic pansexual, so I had the same experience!

[@NutmegBGB]

You are both valid ❤💛💙

[@thedoorman243]

you've both said too many words no idea what both those things mean please don't explain any of it to me

[@GizzyDillespee]

You could explain it to me, and Krispy would be able to read it too because "I had to open the comment to find out what the notification was for". Everybody win!

[@thedoorman243]

@@GizzyDillespee damn it you've foiled my plan

[@TigerGoblin]

"Can a can cancan? Yes it can, all the cans in Cannes are Canuck cans in Canada, Manly cans in Canberra in canoes Grabbing noodles and canoodling with cans in Can Tho Mexican cans in Cancun, scandalously scantily clad in their scanties and decanting at you" Damn, Stup, you keep surprising me with your lyrical genious. Best Patreon by far.

[@twv2753]

7 year old me in a rap battle

[@yesimrealhuman4245]

can you not

[@machinegunbabygirl]

@@yesimrealhuman4245 what

[@tschillintsoulntai9285]

And that scheme is like a full sixth of the song itself. Stupes is a fantastic lyricist (along with their other amazing talents). It's no wonder this won the Logan Whitehurst Memorial Award for Excellence in Comedy Music for best comedic music video of 2021

[@Yunayo_3772]

2:41 "can a can cancan?" My fav moment, leaving this for myself. (I've already got help for liking this song.)

[@arcadca]

This has NO RIGHT to be the massive bop that it is. This is going to be stuck in my head for days.

[@standardhuman8675]

As it should be.

[@pretzelthedude]

This was pure beauty. It's match shall never be created until maybe Dan Bull comes along with OnlyDans in rebuttal. Edit: Actually rather sad I'm not a high enough tier to have my name plastered on this carbonated masterpiece.

[@ЕвгенийСемёнов-в2щ]

Given what Dan Bull did with some mildly erotic RPG... twice... I think his response would be a true blast of sparkling excellence, as always.

[@blarg2429]

@ARTEM DORDZHIEV First song: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qJzJh555lL2jqM0. Second song: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aH-QloSPiaZqq6s.

[@blarg2429]

@ARTEM DORDZHIEV :)

[@kory_misun]

Anyone who can use the word 'cantankerous' in a song is worthy of all the accolades, awards, adoration and affection.

[@oO_shark_Oo]

THE CHORUS HAS NO RIGHT TO SOUND THAT GOOD WHAT

[@clem7904]

i clicked on this vid on accident and i did not regret it as it cured my depression

[@clem7904]

i just got a heart for the stupendium on a vid that came out a year ago life is awesome

[@IncBot]

TWO HEARTS!!! JACKPOT!!

[@SalahEddineH]

I've been grinning like an idiot throughout the entire song, then I burst out laughing at "If you enjoyed the song, then please get help". Goddamn dude, how are you this good? Seriously!

[@jyvonne7730]

The fact that u managed to come up with so many fucking can puns IN ONE NIGHT ASTOUNDS ME. I am very impressed but at the same time I fear your power a little. I love the queer representation and sexual representation it’s so beautiful! Only you could make a song so ducking full of all this plus hilarious jokes and puns and a beat and chorus that makes me want to burst out singing but I can’t because my younger sister would have fizzy drink ruined for her forever😂😂😂My Demi sister (my age lol) is so happy with representation! You never really see sexuality’s like demisexual aro and ace represented in media as well as polyamorous relationships being presented in a positive light! The song is fabulous and even my crippling depression cannot stop me from putting this on and dancing in my room!

[@jyvonne7730]

Lmao I have such a stupid ass smile while listening to this😂

[@skem9622]

This song is the song people emote dance to in G mod

[@jimmyfitsimmons5100]

You mistake that we care (we don’t)

[@catbatrat1760]

W-Wait, ONE NIGHT!?!? =O Where did they say that???

[@Trickenedster]

stutters over text wow

[@anyawuu2]

this song came on my playlist while i was drinking a can of soda and i don't know if that made listening to this better or worse

[@ShadowfireReality]

Therapist: Pimpendium isn't real. He can't hurt you. Pimpendium:

[@Patch778]

It is real, the prohecy.

[@dannynewhouse9354]

I trust Pimpendium, he looks like wholesome Ron Jeremy

[@tallman5638]

PIMPENDIUM *dies from aphyxeation

[@zerothedrunkard6590]

YOU BASTARD I BURST OUT LAUGHING IN CLASS TAKE MY LIKE AND THINK ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS

[@catkingwumpus1370]

The only pimp you can trust

[@m00dyalien]

Loving how this attracted all the aroaces💀

[@ThePokemonSquadX]

I actually feel accepted here, thank you

[@xyiux]

As a aroace I can confirm

[@angel-logic9102]

Sup

[@Lemonnitenite]

I'm chillin with a can in hand yea

[@leoneyamada5408]

​@@ThePokemonSquadX is there a single place not being sexual is considered outrageous? I'm not ace and I but I legit can't even imagine a place that someone would be hated for not wanting that kind of thing... I mean maybe it's harder to date considering your options are damn near zero in the modern era of thots and degenerates... But as long as you find another ace in this world of cards it's not exactly something id imagine one would even think about... So I'm struggling to see why you would only feel "accepted" here and not literally everywhere.... Maybe pushy parents who want grandchildren? But even then in that situation your parents are just Karen's you can easily ignore and move on...

[@bethanydavis9023]

Doesn't seem abnormal to me. Just a really passionate normal guy singing a perfectly normal song about normal soft drinks.

[@BuggaBonnie]

And nothing else. Just a fun, wholesome song about soda.

[@Bi-derPig]

A song which in no way has any sexual innuendos and is meant for the pure hearted and the most innocent of soda lovers

[@SEAkuaa]

This is genuinely one of my favorite stupendium songs but I also take psychic damage whenever I hear it. Good job stupendium you've done it.

[@coolioman9073]

I'm pretty sure if you listen to it on spotify he won't tell you you need help if you like it

[@stupidsailboat]

THIS IS THE ASEXUAL THEME SONG. DESPITE ITS PURPOSE THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST SONGS IVE EVER HEARD IT IS AN ABSOLUTE BANGER DESPITE BEING 2 YEARS OLD

[@f0xthef0x]

True and also nice failplush pfp 😎

[@kennedytwins575]

I don’t think anyone was prepared for this

[@xjhero2044]

No one Can

[@mushroomoe101]

I *can* not think why anyone, would be prepared for this.

[@bielhelp]

Can you say why someone whould prepare himself for this?

[@idealis_despota]

Honestly, I wasn't

[@adilrahman6881]

If someone says they did, they are a liar.

[@CRAB_CRASHERZ]

The game is absolutely traumatising and I had an expression of absolute horror and astonishment on my face while playing it but I can say with certainty the music makes it all worth it. Edit- congratulations to the thousandth liker. I watched it happen. I dunno who you are but you are entitled to one gold coin.

[@sarcophiliac]

I will second this!

[@muddyperiwinkle]

yes.

[@Jadeddoxy]

I was all fine until the last can where the can was...the son-

[@muddyperiwinkle]

the last can was the best can wdym

[@muddyperiwinkle]

do it it's literally so crackheaded like a soda can dating sim???

[@Anonymous-Artist2]

Such vo-can-ulary.

[@goldroller]

I can't say that I've ever been prouder to support a creator through Patreon than seeing my name at the end of this Totally Normal Song.

[@gerrywilliams9838]

The pure number of can puns in this song added 10 years to my life

[@avaius]

We shall forever be youthful at this rate

[@standardhuman8675]

The carbonated water in the soda is from the fountain of youth.

[@TheDarkEnigma]

It's official. This dude can legit make a song about anything..

[@Tyranicalroomba]

I'm sorry. I'm the 170th like

[@triggerhappy4199]

And turn it into a banger

[@krystencabbage1032]

"If you liked this song, get help" fair, but you don't gotta call me out like that

[@crabman3000]

Watching this after your latest tweet... I cannot believe I never noticed that the three main colours used are the same colours on the pan flag, even going so far as to feature them in the right order at certain points (pink backdrop = yellow feather boa, yellow backdrop = blue feather boa, blue backdrop = pink feather boa). Absolutely fantastic job, the level of thought you put in never ceases to amaze me!

[@meepitjuicetheleagueofsupe7067]

The League of Super Evil, otherwise known as L.O.S.E, would like to recruit you!

[@thedoorman243]

@@meepitjuicetheleagueofsupe7067 nah

[@boo4141]

I dont think he meant to make the colors the pan colors, sure the colors are similiar but alot of things are colored pink, yellow and blue because those colors are fun to look at

[@crabman3000]

​ @DSP It's too perfect to be a coincidence, I mean: - The specific shades of pink, yellow & blue are absolutely spot-on - The colours are always in the right order - It's abundantly clear that the man puts thought into every little detail of both his lyrics and videos (he even says "it's got very high ratings" at almost exactly 4:20) - Everything about this song/video is flamboyantly LGBT making it the perfect opportunity to sneak something like that in there Also, he officially "came out" roughly 3 months later so I imagine (cannot verify) that at that point he had gotten a lot more comfortable being public about, he just wasn't ready to say anything yet.

[@boo4141]

@@crabman3000 hes gay?

[@ArtinVulpin]

This song has been playing on repeat for the last hour, this song is like a drug to my very overstimulated ADHD brain, the chorus slaps, great job with the song man :)

[@elliot_the_ghost2999]

same here dude

[@Nataniahuahu]

You *can*'t count how many times have I repeated it

[@GachaHoneyMoon]

same here

[@Hagendaaz73]

This song is a complete banger and I love it. Newest obsession of the week

[@LevitheEldritchAbomination]

same (yeyy fellow ADHD people :D)

[@jobietench]

The pun on "effervescent" is actually hilarious Because it can mean enthusiastic as a person or literally bubbly like a soft drink

[@mattysones]

If you look up "banger" in the dictionary, this song is listed