The VERY Best Of David Mitchell On QI!

[@decodolly1535]

"Like showing a very tired mason a whole cathedral" is probably my favourite David Mitchell line ever.

[@jagobot1487]

I love it because it makes no sense out of context, but makes absolutely perfect sense with the context

[@michaelh9656]

Possibly the greatest metaphor of our time

[@timothygraham4304]

I love how Rob Brydon is wearing vertical stripes, and Johnny Vegas is wearing horizontal stripes, when trying to dispute the point!😂😂😂

[@KevinMe-cd7ms]

😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😮🎉🎉🎉😢🎉🎉🎉🎉😢😅🎉🎉🎉😮🎉🎉🎉🎉😅🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😢😢😢😢😢🎉🎉🎉😢😅🎉🎉

[@Dranka5]

Rob Brydon’s “I’ve got a friend that’s short…” while he’s wearing vertical stripes is hilarious. Right, a short FRIEND Rob.

[@b.l7491]

Oh you wouldn't know them, they go to a different game show

[@TCA17]

Nobody caught his cue, I was disappointed. Haha

[@notepadpowersnail1860]

The A-level dream is so relatable. Having graduated college for years, having experienced far more stressful and tragic situations, somehow, it’s always the bloody school exams that haunt me in the sleep.

[@Pricelessmile]

I constantly have dreams I'm at school, or university needing to study something I have no idea about, whilst also knowing I've already done this and graduated university so it doesn't matter, and the confusing above anything is the most relatable

[@musicaltheatresongbook2512]

I have exactly the same dream!

[@tyrannicpuppy]

Love listening to David's rants. Such hilariously delivered pure logic.

[@berniethekiwidragon4382]

I do love when David goes off on a rant!

[@johnnunn8688]

He got a massive cheer, when he mentioned the apostrophe, just shows the audience comprised adults.

[@minners71]

To be brutally honest he would have a lot to say about your comment.

[@sonny9493]

​@@minners71😂😂😂

[@jagobot1487]

Ahh yes, because qi is famously a kids show…. Obviously the audience was made up of adults, damn.

[@Superfantastictop10]

If you want to be pedantic about grammar...The first comma is wrong because you started with the main clause and not the subordinate clause and the second comma should be a full stop. It's a run-on sentence. So...

[@Chez114]

David's comment about the apostrophe comes from a previous episode of QI where the question was, "Which comment is correct? grocers', grocer's or grocers?" The answer was essentially that it doesn't matter, which annoyed David

[@TassyBudgies]

Such brilliance, love it when he gets on a roll😂

[@timothygraham4304]

Especially a tepid sausage roll!

[@Travenspear8]

I want someone who looks at me the way Noel was looking at David

[@bradleybarnett9545]

It's a lovely moment, innit?

[@shockwave_datafiles8099]

Fun fact, I went to the same secondary school that David when to when he was younger. When he tells stories about doing his A-Levels I can picture the exact buildings and rooms that he'd be referring to.

[@datgrrl5698]

...and yet you exhibit none of the wit nor intelligence of young mister Mitchell... stay in school, you will need all the education you get obtain

[@reach4thesports897]

It makes sense that he would have been younger in secondary school.

[@AnonYmous-mc5zx]

Mitchell's rant about stripes making you look thinner appeared in one of my psych classes. We were going over how perception of a study can often influence the study and the importance of "not trying to prove something."

[@cmw12]

“Old Stinky Russell”. You don’t build up a reputation like that without it being revoltingly true. Sure, it’s no way to remember the man, but spare a thought for all the people who were genuinely interested in what he had to say and had to pretend like they weren’t being olfactorily assaulted for the whole conversation. I’ve been in this exact situation with well-respected faculty. It’s rough.

[@63fahrenheit]

I really wanna see this guy on TaskMaster.

[@jagobot1487]

Sadly he said he wouldn’t do it, and I’m not joking, he said it’s because he’s spent so long building up this image of a intellectual man that he doesn’t want the public eye to lose that opinion of him. It’s kinda sad but also perfectly David

[@Jonesnihil]

​@@jagobot1487probably why Richard ayoade won't do it either

[@jonnawyatt]

Probably because it isn't funny.

[@63fahrenheit]

It did get 16 seasons just saying.@@jonnawyatt

[@theenglishbornable]

​@@JonesnihilI thought he wanted to do it but struggled to find a time he wasn't busy

[@KennethACrashwaggonMusic]

Very few things are more hilarious than David going off on one.

[@goodlookingcorpse]

Like David, I don't have nightmares but do have stress dreams, including having to go back to high school.

[@johnnunn8688]

As you should your grammer is atrowshus

[@noahtan]

@@johnnunn8688 And your spelling is atrocious

[@leafan101]

I don't have nightmares, I just have disturbingly surreal dreams.

[@eileencollins2536]

I love his angry logic

[@yusaki8064]

The Lavalamp bit reminded me of one time at school when we were in chemistry class and learning about how alkali metals interact with water (They get set on fire and/or explode). And it was raining outside. So what my friend Joe thought was funny and so did, was steal 10 magnesium strips from around the classroom and pop them into our friend Tejas’s blazer pocket when he wasn’t looking. And when the three of us were walking home. Suddenly, Tejas’s pocket caught fire. He was able to take his blazer off before he got hurt. But his blazer was destroyed. And we had to convince him it was Spontaneous Human Combustion so Joe wouldn’t get in trouble for attempting to set our friend on fire and I wouldn’t get in trouble for not stopping him.

[@jedaaa]

Bad cut at 7:35 I remember David got a huge laugh from that ' too characterful ' bit :(

[@jagobot1487]

No one watches these for the laughs from the audience…

[@jibjubby]

@@jagobot1487 He earned that laugh. This is a robbery

[@BrettGoosen]

I have the same recurring stressful dream as David 😂😂😂

[@basementdwellercosplay]

I've heard people from all over America, China, and now Britain who have nightmares or stress dreams where they have to redo tests/exam and it's only after you graduate

[@christopherwoods5150]

Some highlights I've seen before, but most of them cut off the end too fast, comedy is timing. Other than that, good video.

[@blackbird5634]

Poor old Fry making fun of Bertrand Russell's breath when he can't breathe through that busted clubbed foot in the middle of his own face.🤣 We all have to suffer those great big gasps of air he sucks in after each sentence! So desperate NOT to drool on the table!😂

[@huckleberry12]

3:12. possibly the funniest joke ever told

[@Taffylassie]

Awww Terry Wogan 😢 i loved him.

[@nicholasflammel2017]

I relate so much to the A-levels bit. I am currently a PhD(Maths) student but still have nightmares about being in highschool or middleschool and writing my exams again while the teachers pretty well know, that I am a PhD student. It adds to the pressure inside the dream of performing well on the test all the more.

[@Madeline96]

I've just submitted my PhD proposal, which has conjured up these dreams again, except I had to forfeit all postgraduate qualifications because I failed yr 12 English (which I did but still got university entrance obvs)

[@nicholasflammel2017]

@@Madeline96 Great! Which subject/topic are you studying? I myself study Random Graphs and Probability Theory in general. I am just being constantly bombarded by my instructors with new papers that I have to read. Currently, I am working on adapting a proof due to Amir Dembo.

[@Madeline96]

@nicholasflammel2017 random graphs sounds like my life at the mo 🤣 I studied conservation ecology and am working on developing ethical and effective predator control technology to protect endangered species

[@nicholasflammel2017]

@@Madeline96 Good good. I barely know predator prey models like the Lotka-Volterra systems and whatnot. All the best.

[@Madeline96]

@@nicholasflammel2017 thanks you too!

[@GleePotter8468]

0:27 me with returning to primary school and I’m like I’m literally in university, like I say that to the people in my dream… but it probably have more to do with all the trauma I still have from that period of my life 😅

[@JungianHeights]

The first one is me. I have this nightmare that I am having to still be at High School, and nobody can tell me why or when I can leave. I just get older, but I am still at school. I had that exact nightmare again last night.

[@unclerojelio6320]

In the very last shot I think David made the big guy cry.

[@happivaras]

6:12 😱 Dear Stephen 😅😂

[@PhillipAlcock]

I get the A levels dream too, and I went on to get a degree! No, I really don’t want to do A level Chemistry again - it was bad enough first time.

[@dachronicalalittlebitofeve6630]

David is extremely funny without actually trying to be funny, he’s really just very anal, but it’s his delivery that make it seem very funny indeed. Coupled with Jonny vega it’s quite entertaining indeed as he’s notoriously not very intelligent in terms of actual education, he’s clever in different ways but as you may imagine isn’t from the same kind of schooling as David and mr Fry, he’s more like the guy down the pub that’s just witty and funny. He’s like a working class genius….

[@Imperial-Socialist]

bread and milk and a little sugar mmmmmm

[@jamesbutler6253]

Yes, Hobnobs are relatively new, 1985.

[@top_banananaplays]

Every once in a while i have a dream about being back in school except im not doing my A levels, I'm walking through the corridors surrounded by classmates and im naked. The weird thing is no-one reacts as if nothing were wrong and for some I don't even care that I'm naked in school. The thing that gets me worried in the dream is that i don't know where my next lesson is and I don't have a timetable. Then I wake up and realise I left school years ago.

[@timjeffries5730]

I don't care what this guy says, Victoria Coren looks phenomenal!!!

[@LucasPreti]

I’m getting a tattoo of “too characterful”

[@efnissien]

I've actually found that since I've told the company I work for that their promotional material is complete two faced bullshit, and that while I turn up and do the job, they're not to expect me to perpetuate their bollocks, I don't get hassled by my bosses.

[@deborahduthie4519]

We know that with certain calculations, one plus one does not equal two. I believe it was 0.89 confounding? yes it is

[@nosuchthingasshould4175]

I’m sorry but if someone supposedly intelligent decides that it is a worthwhile pursuit to spend their time on proving that 1+1=2, then perhaps their halitosis is the thing most worthy of mention.

[@N.I.R.A.T.I.A.S.]

4:11 1985 actually.

[@timwright3218]

It's good to know that other countries have an education system shit enough to give people anxiety dreams 20 years after graduating.

[@BigDavie2000]

75% of the adult population world wide is lactose intolerance, so David was a little unfair on Alan. Brits have less than 10% chance of being lactose intolerant whereas some Asians and Africans can have over 90% chance.

[@ryenschimerman2127]

Thank god you're here to clear that up.

[@John.AR.Activism]

They're not lactose intolerant..... theyre just not a baby cow. Its not meant for humans is it.

[@tsvandyke]

MATHS ... if I had a bottle of water ... & I try to multiply it by ( nothing ) ... does it make my existing bottle disappear !? ... NO !? ( than why does "maths" prove otherwise ... 1 x 0 = 0 )

[@thelungilife6057]

I have had that GCSE's /A-Levels nightmare so many times. I have two ivy league degrees, ffs. When will we ever escape our core insecurities?

[@MrBrownnn696]

There’s nothing about making people laugh…. Lmfao

[@baldrbraa]

Well,«halitosis» has also been debunked on QI. But I do agree that it’s mean, irrelevant and not very funny to point out Russell’s bad breath.

[@brushe8025]

David completely missed Robs point

[@bennylloyd-willner9667]

Yeah, it's almost like he missed it on a TV show for comedic purposes😊

[@brushe8025]

@@bennylloyd-willner9667 David in a rant misses many nuances

[@bennylloyd-willner9667]

@@brushe8025 correct as you may be, it is IMO entertaining television and for me, that's more relevant in a show like this.

[@brushe8025]

@@bennylloyd-willner9667 If he had of spotted it and played along it would have made for better comedy and interactions

[@bennylloyd-willner9667]

@@brushe8025 that's one opinion 👍

[@alpapworth3494]

Man sounds so repressed

[@lesleyhawes6895]

Have you noticed, as I have, that lactose intolerance, sensitivity to various foods etc, only increases once some organisation decides to investigate. It seems you can prove anything if you try hard enough!

[@christopherdean1326]

Back when I was a kid, any kind of allergy was something unusual. Other than my brother, and a kid over the road who both had Coeliac disease (gluten allergy) I knew no one who had any allergy to anything. Now there's this huge number of people claiming all sorts of allergies, WTF went wrong? I saw an advert in my local pharmacy once that said something like "75% of people believe they are lactose intolerant" Note that "believe" part. Doesn't mean they are, they just think so.

[@lilymarinovic1644]

It may be more to do with modern food additives and processing methods than the actual bread or milk or whatever itself.

[@jibjubby]

Actually lactose intolerance increases as soon as you stop drinking milk. You lose the enzyme eventually because milk is made for infants. I can't digest it anymore, but that's good because the infants it was made for are the ones who need it most, not me.

[@nealjroberts4050]

I used to work with someone who said you should never look for problems because you'd always find one. As I've gotten older I've become a tad lactose intolerant. I had a bad cold that reacted whenever i had cereal. Since then milk has caused me to get phlegmy so I've had to use oat or almond substitute instead. I'm still ok with cheese and ice cream. Yoghurt occasionally.

[@magnusgranskau7487]

@lilymarinovic1644 its also has something to do with ancestory. northern Europe and Indus valley are where people tolerate it. also north western Africa and middle east to some extent. search lactose intolerant map

[@christopherdean1326]

Frankly, they could rename that cheese "Inside of Jennifer Aniston's thighs" and I STILL wouldn't try it! Hate cheese in nearly all it's forms....

[@johnnunn8688]

Is it because Scottish cheese is shite?

[@nealjroberts4050]

It's because cheese in the UK is associated with England. It's like the reverse of whiskey where English versions exist but no one thinks they'd be any good.

[@MontyCantsin5]

No.