Very Really Good #83: I'm A Tan Guy

[@rachaelfitzpatrick8574]

As a resident of Ireland I am personally offended that you are leaving us out of your US west coast tour. We, also, have a west coast.

[@1860Andrea]

this deserves more attention

[@mikaylaloneragn5292]

Make him do it in the gaeltacht

[@thejuicykiwi6847]

Mikayla Loneragn I would love to hear him try and do a bit but completely in Irish

[@kayladay2956]

Omfg I feel u girl I’m from Ireland n live in Australia n literally nobody I like comes to aus

[@justinejustine9130]

Agreed

[@roricheyenne9232]

You have to put out KurtisTown light up heelies

[@solbedsheets3389]

yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

[@mothboy420]

pleasepleaseplease

[@erinmcevoy990]

I would buy those!!

[@theosbrokenring]

I LITERALLY SAID TO MYSELF SAYING “he needs to put out heelies” OH MY GOD

[@serenlake9596]

PLEASE

[@victoriam2614]

okay but like..... think of this collab: kurtis converse 😳😳

[@maddiepaddy2608]

They would be so slick! Like the brand inkkas

[@mirakovacs6981]

MAKE THIS THE MOST LIKED COMMENT SO KURT SEES IT

[@adycakes15]

i dont care if im a month late, im taking blank white converse high top shoes and putting yee yee on it, putting refrences to drew and danny and hH sorry im already freaking out--

[@etanu8308]

just converse with the kurtis town mayor bade on the sides and then on the sides of the soles it says "ParDoN?".... i might go make those actually

[@bri2149]

Hell yeah

[@EM-xp7je]

when I watch this podcast at night I legit fall asleep because his voice is so quiet and calming.

[@qxuuiinnn]

dude honestly same

[@A-222]

watching this to sleep rn lmao

[@bigbigbigbigbigbig459]

Me too!!!!

[@blixksreaxions8722]

SAME I LOVE IT UGH

[@dramatickitten3528]

Doing that rn😂

[@emmajones5733]

Kurtis: "If you're doing song parodies in 2020 bro... Dude it's weird man" Danny: *sweats nervousnessly*

[@nenen2504]

Emma Jones nervousnessly? 😭😆

[@emmajones5733]

@@nenen2504 Yeah what can I say, apparently I had a stroke while typing that lol

[@kiwialberts8455]

No, there's a difference between the "song parodies" genre of youtube, where someone takes a popular song and changes the lyrics just to fit whatever joke they want to make, and making a parody of a song by creating their own original song like Danny does :)

[@funkymonkey7913]

Lé Kiwi Yeah, it’s called a parody 😂

[@phexwor8433]

nah danny doesn’t do parody songs he does comedy songs. i guess you can consider them the same thing but parody songs aren’t funny. like they’re trying to be but most of the time people write entirely unrelated lyrics and can’t come up with an original melody so they use popular songs. now obviously stuff likes weird al is funny but danny writes original songs that correspond to videos he makes

[@TAddy-wq3hg]

Kurtis being in a That's Cringe video would be prime content.

[@jjmary61]

T. Addy I know 😫

[@bigbalooga6]

I've never thought of that and now I will never stop thinking about that, I hope it'll come in the future 😭

[@rosaliepb]

totally they're my favorite youtubers (kurtis, noel & cody)

[@anxietea5171]

Bruh ppl were trying to ask Noel in a live stream about that collab literally yesterday. The pairing would be timeless

[@TheAllyKat123]

Yo, Im a huge fan, Im also pregnant, and instead of Mozart, I put your pod cast to my stomach every week bc I want my baby to be funny.

[@felix-fw3lq]

Mother of the year award

[@jejunestar9318]

Omg I legit listen to this podcast with my 3month old so that she grows up with a good sense of humor 🤣

[@trudymcknight4890]

best moms 👌🏽

[@starfakename9293]

omg i cant sleep since i got pregnant and this podcast is the only thing that is both soothing and entertaining enough for me to sleep, so me and baby listen to hours of it......... my baby better come out funny😂

[@juliannefost6351]

Your baby’s first word is gonna be “yee yee!”

[@barbara20214]

me listening to kurtis talk about how copying people’s mannerisms is creepy vs me knowing full well that i overuse dude and pardon because of him

[@angelique_cs]

Same. I've never said " my guy" or "my dudes" before in my life until I found this channel

[@fluttervixen]

ME TOO AGHHH

[@3starsburningbright]

SAME DOUDDJSNSM..... I've never said dude so much in my life 😭

[@KrispyAlex]

I can’t believe you’re leaving *Jupiter* out of your tour....

[@maggiee.1105]

ikr, it’s really sad cause as a resident of jupiter nobody ever comes here on tour. sometimes i wish i lived on earth :(

[@nenen2504]

but you all forget about Pluto 🙄😭

[@randomkword]

And the sun too! Ugh, #CANCELLED 🙄🙄

[@patiencen1280]

@@randomkword smh my head why did you do this kurtis

[@cartkart1]

I live on Saturn, specifically on the rings, and I can’t go to many events because Earth takes so long to get to.

[@Viyanca]

“I’m orange and feeling like a man” yalls president can relate

[@DecoraGarf]

Viyanca how original...

[@Viyanca]

@@DecoraGarf Thanks! 😀

[@HexusoftheSheep]

It might not be original, but it's accurate. O well.

[@maggiee.1105]

lmaoo true trump be saying 🍊

[@ms.bigbooty]

Isnt he canadian tho

[@leahjk97]

how did he manage to make auto tune sound not in tune like isnt that literally the whole point of auto tune?? he broke auto tune???

[@elicarson6134]

he's just that bad

[@bekah13]

his voice breaks every note

[@ezreth]

When you use autotune, you have to pick a key and a scale so the autotune knows what notes are usable and which ones are off limits. However theres also a chromatic setting, which opens up every note there is. Some also have a setting where you can pick what notes it can use so you could intentionally make it sound absolutely horrendous.

[@rondamcnamara4104]

Maybe he's tone deaf

[@Error-4O4]

He’s so off key and it hurts me

[@muchomango11]

When he said that the parody was bad I thought he just meant like lyrically, I was n o t prepared for him to be that off key oh my god

[@brisymone5404]

kurtis x sketchers a concept: they're twinkle toes except every time you stomp it says "pardon"

[@serenlake9596]

PLEASE

[@sidneytheapprentice]

"man, fuck you, I'm never talking to you again" *pardon* *pardon* *pardon* getting quieter as they walk off from you

[@lukacutiee2999]

pardonpardonpardonpardonpardonpardonpardonpardon

[@dylanstucki8435]

3 things about Self Tan: 1. Not even the right notes at all. Like if they were gonna auto tune him they could have at least adjusted the pitch to be right 2. He rhymed “long” with “cologne” and said cologne like “co-long” 3. You can see his untanned white ass feet in one of the shots where he’s in the pool

[@brookeadrianne5115]

Dylan Stucki for some reason i laughed harder reading “you can see his untamed white ass feet” than i did when i actually saw them

[@milknhoneyhoney]

They couldn't even bother to edit him to sing in time either. It's so horribly painful

[@shanzay8719]

@@brookeadrianne5115 same

[@knightogourd]

And the flow SUCKS. He doesn't know music at all -_-

[@samuraisusie8331]

AND HIS EAAAAARRRSSS I CANT

[@nina.robbs565]

I want Danny Gonzalez's "I'm a bad boy" song to be replaced with "I'm a tan boy" and it's the same but with every "bad" is replaced with "tan"

[@olivia_rcr]

And I don’t respect my dad

[@nina.robbs565]

@Arminda Airth ah a fellow Unus? Or Annus?

[@franklinokra6996]

I tRiDEd tO scATe boRed anD bRocKe aLL mY bOneS

[@tvfhwd]

Memento Mori. Unas Annus

[@NicoDiAngelo-r9e]

i cried imagining this. thank you

[@jeannav]

He’s literally parodying off a parody already called “fake tan” to the sound of Roxanne i-

[@trishaagr]

pixeladair better press charges

[@cassiewight9283]

I was thing the same thing. I am upSET >:(

[@coffe4meplz]

"All I wanna do is get my tan right" my guy, you have not done that

[@kimburleeeeee]

You really missed an opportunity to say “you better cop those tickets”.

[@Tiffany__B]

careful kurtis, this dude is gonna call you a cyberbully and challenge you to a duel, BE CAREFUL!!!

[@kerstinhalldin4349]

People in oregon: bro why didn’t u come here!? Europeans: am i a joke to you?

[@benjalumchocolate4095]

Australians: 🔥am 🔥i 🔥a🔥 joke🔥 to 🔥you?🔥

[@kateemma22]

Come to OZ - it’s hot.

[@wightwolf7717]

"Skecher? I hardly know her." Have to admit, that's the first one that actually made me laugh. Also, i really like these reactions on the pod, please do more.

[@whatwhat7798]

Kurtis talking about parodies being stupid *danny has angrily entered the chat*

[@Natalie-rr7db]

His parodies are actually well written and produced though. And they're funny as well. Sebastian's parodies just fucking suck in every way possible.

[@-aiko9313]

Natalie Well said.

[@pastelsunset]

There's a difference between Danny's songs and stuff like this, that being that Danny actually...y'know, makes original music instead of switching up some of the lyrics and calling it a day

[@esha9114]

The fact that i used ur voice to fall asleep because i was feeling unsafe because of nightmares shows how comfy u make me feel

[@frejahollnder9136]

I love your aot profile!!

[@katiemariewee]

I don't know why I thought the parody was gonna be of Roxanne by The Police

[@rachealfaith99]

Same /:

[@DecoraGarf]

Same

[@iwanttopetacat5500]

*cries*

[@AmyAberrant]

I was like damn why such a meaningful song? 😠

[@grilledcheese5000]

Omfg same

[@elizabethai]

Bruh, medieval was like the 1200s, my guy. 1500 was the Renaissance, my dude. 1700 was the dang Baroque era, bruh, French & American Revolutions, dawg. Come on.

[@franklinokra6996]

It's weird to hear "Bruh" Followed by something my teacher would tell a stupid student

[@mariafausti3128]

Thank you for telling me :)

[@alexanon8345]

And the enlightenment like literally the most important event in western sociopolitical history

[@roeko5701]

1500 was still medieval lol

[@mermaidprincess27]

@@roeko5701 that's debatable, theres no specific year that the renaissance starts but it's generally in the 1500s into the 1600s

[@elizabeth-mx8ip]

him: we will be doing shows in other places later this year ........corona: uhhhh what if no

[@kendra31]

I really wanted the song to be: "SEEELLLLLFFFFF TAN! YOU DONT HAVE TO LAY IN THE SUN LIGHT SEEEEEELLLLLFFFF TAAANN"

[@kendra31]

LAY IN THE SUUUN LIGHT (SELF TAAAAN) LAY IN THE SUUUN LIGHT (SELF TAAAAN)

[@BertieJRussell]

It was foolish of me to expect this to be a parody Roxanne by The Police, especially since that actually could have been clever: "Seeeeelf tannnnn I don't have to use a tanning bed tonight I'm already covered I don't have to show my body to the light"

[@mamallama2199]

I chuckled to hard at that.

[@saturnaliarain]

We should be friends I love Kurtis and The Police, lol

[@xXBarbDwireXx]

"Probably have more shows this year" I feel like an archeologist reading graffiti on the walls of Pompeii

[@karynstudiosloane-ceramics436]

hahahaha this is hilarious I wish it had more likes

[@MaeveDelia]

I was entirely expecting you to say “Yeah, cop. You should COP those tickets” at 1:41 but you didn’t so here I am

[@barbiegirl2001]

West Coast and Dublin tour would be unironic fire

[@user-ht7hj2hw4b]

extremely disappointed that he didn’t make a joke about the cops giving his tickets a ticket for speeding

[@liyahliyah694]

“SeeEhhlf teeyynn seeehllfff teeenn” 😂😂😂 I’m cry???

[@mikaylaloneragn5292]

He used the same amount of autotune as he does §elF tAñ

[@koiinobori]

and both still look and sound bad

[@sydneysydneysydneyy]

i was dyingggg lol. Dublin is also a city in California! It’s in the bay area. still love you tho lol

[@ceciliamogan757]

The bit about 1799 and 1920 made me think of the glitches in iPhone calendars. This definitely isn't worth making a video about but it might fit into the podcast somewhere who knows and I NEED someone to acknowledge this. So if you don't know, basically, if you scroll through the years on an iPhone calendar, you'll notice a few things. First, the year 1895 is missing. Then keep scrolling up and you'll see the years completely disappear along with the months of December. THEN, if you scroll back down, the year 1894 disappears and you're back at 1896. This is very dumb and I am very aware, but dammit it weirds me out and I'd love to hear someone as funny as you talk about it. Huge fan, fellow maple syrup citizen, thanks for listening to my 9-part docuseries

[@javisantander]

One thing kurtis can’t do is use his computer talk at the same time- so uhhhhhhhh

[@mariafausti3128]

Uuuhhhhhhhhhh

[@nilhelen5647]

Uhhhhhhhh

[@icecreamsamwich]

I love that he continues to repeat "self TtAaaAHN" even after moving on to another subject. The sheer badness of sebastian balls's singing cannot be underestimated

[@kezkai]

This is my first kurtis podcast and I'm 30 seconds in and this is exactly what I needed in my life I'm also in my jimmy jams thanks my dude

[@Rulery1]

Why am I attracted to this man? Every time he says “dude” 🤧😍

[@coffe4meplz]

It's that Canadian flavor he puts on it

[@DiMagnolia]

Literally same

[@tropicalcandyland6266]

Same He, Harry Styles, & Penn Badgley have literally stolen my heart

[@a.h.8269]

Read that as " tan gay " was like " We know "

[@reemCGR]

BHAHAHA!!! xD

[@mylord9395]

Is he seriously not gay?

[@DiMagnolia]

Tan gay, I thought it was about me

[@nenen2504]

My Lord nahh he has a girlfriend but I think the whole relationship is really faked (watch some of his vids with his gf you’ll see)

[@emilyistired69]

am i the only one who uses these videos to fall asleep?? his voice is so relaxing and it always helps me drift off.

[@clairegopaul4977]

kurtis conner x sketchers twinkle toes

[@clintfarmer777]

That self tan "song" is the purest and most definitive proof that no amount of autotune can make someone, who can't sing at all, sound any amount of good or even bearable...

[@miusimp4957]

Everyday for the past few weeks I haven't been able to get the way Kurtis sings out of my head 17:45 I can't stop singing it even when people are around... 😭

[@candylandfairies]

Yoooo but what about converse collab KURTIS CONVERSE

[@StarringMaja]

Cracking up at you talking about the self tan song, that's hilariously BAD

[@divyanandyal3117]

Fjjdjdjsjjs I literally read Sebastian bails as Sebastian balls in the description

[@Maria-fb1sz]

Whenever I have an anxiety attack I watch your podcast cause it calms me :)

[@pernillefosse771]

Nobody gonna talk about how "self-tan" to Roxanne has been done by the tiktoker Arizona Zervas?

[@maggiee.1105]

fake tan, fake taaaan

[@forgether222]

ok so i was curious about how off sebastian balls was with the starting note. the starting vocal note is supposed to be a C#, then an F#, and my tuner picked it up as an A then a G#?? i bet the rest of the song is just as erratic

[@rileys.9768]

"Spray till im orange and feeling like a man" is gonna live in my head until I die now

[@CannedCam]

“Go back to sleep… and starve” LOL damn kurtis

[@bruh-wc9sy]

idk how to explain but he karen of tan guys

[@NeptuneChildASMR]

I remember being a little kid and finding the Weird Al “Trapped in the Drive through” song and thinking it was hilarious without even knowing the original or what a parody was. It became a thousand times better when I finally listened to the original song 😂👌

[@walruslady2150]

I legitimately thought that he was writing a parody for Roxanne by The Police. How disappointed I was lol.

[@grilledcheese5000]

Honestly that would be even scarier

[@kelsey2061]

Your voice is so soothing, you could read the dictionary and I'd listen

[@Brattybat]

He really said “all I wanna do is get my tone right” when he’s literally tone deaf audibly and visually

[@adorbiequeen232]

i fell asleep listening to this, not that this is boring, but bro your voice is so nice to hear.

[@dodie3412]

are we not going to talk about how sebastian has framed shirtless pictures of him next to his bathtub

[@xxlittlekittyjess666]

So the orange guy actually thinks he looks cute ? Oh

[@kiraveritas3060]

Those shoes just invite people to say, “I’d skip you”

[@victoriam640]

if my opinion matters at all i laughed harder while watching the tattoo video then i had in a long time

[@kaylanh]

lmao

[@marissamcfadden3689]

When I saw Ontario and thought you giving us an extra special show I cried but Syke its Cali

[@izzie9437]

imagine being that 3rd grade kid that looked up to kurtis and be put on blast like that 😭😭 im cry laughing lmao

[@gk1368]

ok am i the only one who accidentally read "tan guy" as trans guy?

[@nickwebb9131]

G K probably, yes.

[@garuspiks]

if that was the title it would be very relatable to me

[@pucksandpaperbacks]

as a trans guy, yes I did lol

[@Ayorox]

I read it as tan gay

[@DiMagnolia]

Tan gay is me

[@marwa8603]

36:00 magnets, my guy, the wizard in the machine is the magnet wizard

[@hejdhwbsvdeh]

bruh that alex warren clip that you showed when he was like “hey jonah, i mean happer” was literally a reference to davids vlogs. he has a friend nicknamed jonah so he was literally making fun of the fact that he copies him lmao

[@Squibbity472]

so youre gonna leave brazil out of your tour???

[@22geo6]

Would honestly love for D’elia and Kurtis to collab

[@sholem_bond]

10:48 "but for why? for why, though?" - me, echoing Kurtis Conner that one (other) time

[@kieraneustace2875]

18:28 my watching my miis perform in tomodachi life

[@TheKatarinaGiselle]

A lot of times people that copy others a lot struggle with identity issues due to a fucked up family issues growing up.

[@annettes7156]

Literally love you, your podcast, and your videos. That's it. That's the comment.

[@m0bz0mb38]

14:13 Waxing also means going away so you could say "sorry, gotta wax!"

[@Zaphy]

haha im rewatching and its 1am NZ time, and every time it cuts to your face being completely unentertained by the shitty autotune tan song, I can literally hear crickets from outside.. and it just makes it that much funnier

[@megannapier2450]

I’m not attracted to men, but your voice is so soothing & my favorite thing on earth. 😍

[@sleephollow66]

"Kicks by Kurtis" Skechers X Kurtis Conner

[@elizabethg9129]

I know it's really far from you, however, I would die if you came to Florida. Then I would come back to life and go to your show, as a zombie.

[@Ominouscustodian]

Queen E he was here with Danny and Drew a few months ago!

[@elizabethg9129]

@@Ominouscustodian I know, when he was here I was in NY and then when he was in NY I was here lol.

[@mariafausti3128]

Elizabeth G F

[@annethraxxx]

Damn I can't believe you're not doing a show in the specific grove of my sketchy, clubless city

[@lgrask1762]

That Sebastian guy sounds like Finn from Finn and Jake when he swallowed a computer

[@gh0stlyjack707]

GFSSGHH "Vis-GO TO BED"

[@simonduncan4944]

your tattoo video was one of my favorites

[@emilymarlow7403]

If you like the rec room, you should check out Par Tee Putt in Toronto as well!! It’s a mini putt bar

[@clairesk]

ur sketchers better light up lol

[@tvparker4284]

i read that as “i’m a trans guy” and i was like ole kurt boy is coming out

[@becca9271]

25:53 i literally thought kurtis was showing a david dobrik video for comparrison for a second

[@emmerald]

ebb and flow: everyone's favorite lesbian aunts

[@emmacavemusic1182]

me when Kurtis says "about" 🥰🇨🇦

[@xXBarbDwireXx]

their songs are hate crimes against lizzo

[@apricotpri]

kurtis conner skecher would be a world domination

[@joy__are]

kurtis looks so pissed at seb balls HAHAHAHA didn't notice his reaction the first time I watched this

[@osml]

Oli London's long lost brother.

[@sidneyirwin6712]

"not a while, probably this year at some point" oh Kurtis, you were so young and innocent

[@lucypack6211]

kurtis ur voice is so soothing I watch these vids at night and just softy laugh to myself haha

[@beautifulstruggle9134]

I'm in Detroit please cross the bridge and come over here for a show! We would love to have you! Thanks 😁

[@CapnHindsightt]

Long bridge

[@011mph]

I just love his dumb puns 😂

[@hurricanejay1777]

When does the self tan become blackface? How dark? Where's the line? His skin is like 10-15 shades darker at least

[@hotcrunchycheeto]

He definitely passed the line at this point like 😭it’s his feet being such a different color for me😂

[@jksaysthatsbananas]

he’s blackfishing for sure and he just keeps getting darker and darker 🤢

[@leahjk97]

I would buy kurtis conner skechers

[@elizabeth-mx8ip]

i feel so bad for lizzo like that parody was sooooo bad omg