Ask Nick with Lewis Howes - She Slept With My Roommate | The Viall Files w/ Nick Viall

Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! And this is a special one… Lewis Howes, the OG Podcaster, joins the household in answering your burning questions. Dating, relationships, exes… All of it. Before getting to our callers, we dive deep into Lewis’ journey from living in New York, moving to LA for a girl, healing through therapy, and conquering 10 years of podcasting. We then get to our callers.
Our first caller’s friend is a ‘straight’ man who drives hours to stay with him, buys sentimental gifts, and sends him heart-eye emojis. He’s not sure if this friend is merely affectionate, or if he’s hinting at a romantic chemistry. Should he risk asking for clarity, for the potential of losing this connection. Our second caller is a mom and daughter duo. The daughter calls in to help decide if her mom’s 4 year partner is losing interest, or if he has become a red flag. For example, he doesn’t trust her mom, and thinks she's being flirty with other men. Our final caller is struggling to move on from his ex, who cheated on him TWICE. After cheating on him with his roommate, moving in with him into a new apartment, she then cheats on him again, with a classmate. Our caller is unsure how to mentally move on and reclaim control over his personal living space.
“When people want to be with you, they choose you fully. They create space in their life.”
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Episode Socials:
@viallfiles
@nickviall
@lewishowes
@alison.vandam
@liffordthebigreddog
@dereklanerussell

[@Kloves818]

Please add timestamps. Some of these calls drag out especially with it being 3 hours

[@cindylee7519]

39.10 guys I can't even with all that initial yammering 😂

[@marou55ia_]

thank you! Same

[@heatheraggus7501]

So much yammering!!!! Barf

[@nathaniel4780]

2 Rock Stars! Thank you both for being so thoughtful and intentional! Keep up the good work!

[@AK-jd7td]

Can we not use the term high value man?

[@laurab5849]

I love ASk Nick and it’s the main thing I listen to each week but honestly sometimes you guys give these people way too much time so things just get repetitive. I would love like 15 min sessions and like 6 each episode. I feel like we just beat a dead horse by the end.

[@andreegodbout868]

🙌

[@abbeys1503]

agreed…. the last guy. jesus.

[@ebstudio9525]

I agree

[@SavannahAPOgle]

9rh5

[@marilynhuntley9679]

I had just commented about this and then started to read comments and was glad to find out it’s not just me.

[@RebelFitz]

What a sweetheart the first caller is, I love his energy ✨❤ Great episode!

[@PurpleMoss-mc8bk]

Came to Nick for the LIB interviews, stayed for the outrageous questions that can be solved with a simple, “they’re just not that into you”… But now I’m sensing some real misogyny. I’m officially creeped out!

[@nz3644]

I feel like a lot of men bypass actual accountability and real healing by justifying how they’ve been treated by women but that’s bc they’re participating in low value decisions and hookup culture, probably playing and messing with dozens of women bc they aren’t good enough for them

[@nk47100]

How so? I haven’t finished the episode yet

[@Extraordinaryee]

I don’t get that at all

[@rachelnugent8273]

This last caller YIKES! that was a tough one 🤣 great listen!

[@fatboyannie]

I came here because Lewis interviewed Nick. I always wanted to see Lewis being interviewed. Thank you for asking the tough questions to the people who called in. You painted a great picture for the mom when you asked her how she felt when her boyfriend came over.

[@danabramble3563]

Just wanted to drop this quote by Margaret Atwood here: ‘Why do men feel threatened by women?’ I asked a male friend of mine…‘They're afraid women will laugh at them,’ he said…Then I asked some women students…‘Why do women feel threatened by men?’ ‘They're afraid of being killed,’ they said. Women do so much emotional labor for men literally ALL the time, it's time for men to step up for EACH OTHER and create communities and break down their own emotional barriers. Stop putting the onus on women to fix the problems that the patriarchy has created and exacerbated, men need to do the work for themselves. Otherwise, women will keep divesting from men and from heterosexuality because it genuinely has nothing to offer them. 🙃

[@M6O21I]

💯 Also I always recommend everyone I know to read the excellent Shani Silver piece (it’s published on Medium), “Start Blaming Single Men, Right Now” 🙌

[@Fannie6191]

I think it’s important to have that one friend that you can be vulnerable with but that can also add value to your life and is a good friend to be there for you. From the men in my life I’ve noticed most don’t surround themselves with one male friend that they can be open with and vulnerable. Usually is that one friend who you have fun with and enjoy a beer with. So I believe it’s important to find friendships or a friendship like that…

[@andreegodbout868]

This was too much. Sounds like this much therapy could backfire. There's something to be said about being able to find the tools or working things out by yourself instead of always having to use therapy as a crutch. Kind of scary if you ask me.

[@heatheraggus7501]

Good lord, i have never heard so many buzz words thrown around as these two dudes did in the first 5 minutes of their talk.

[@Chelsea-zt4rk]

Same! After 5 mins of listening to this I came to the comments to see if I was the only person who sniffed that out lol

[@juliewelsh2459]

Thank god someone else felt this lol

[@mrsjessicasmith]

I had to fast forward through all of it.

[@peidan86]

Nick is a high school girl in a 43 year old man’s body

[@teagangeorge4372]

Such misogynist views from Lewis when he was going into the “you don’t feel safe enough to dance around in your lingerie, you’re in a baggy sweatpants phase”….

[@crystalxoxos2]

The “little girl” in you stuff was making me cringe

[@jessicaochiltree6432]

“The little girl” I think he was referring to inner child work. It’s a term from therapy - in regards to healing the hurts from your past that are plaguing you in the present.

[@nk47100]

I missed that but I don’t think misogynist is the right word. Female hating? Sounds more like run of the mill male patronizing at worst or some bro energy…

[@Extraordinaryee]

I didn’t hear anything misogynistic

[@Extraordinaryee]

@@crystalxoxos2sounds like you need to do some inner child work yourself to see why this triggers you 😂

[@iamlaurenmegan]

This was such a great episode. Lewis was so on point with the inner little girl and not trusting her body! I think it might have gone over peoples head that haven’t done inner child or feminine healing (which is fine). But honestly Nick, I’m living for the multidimensionality of the podcast recently. I’m here for the reality tv and here for these deeper inner healing conversations. Truly amazing! And what a gift to listen to two men embodied in the masculine sharing their journey and perspectives. 🫶🏼

[@organiclady]

I love you Nick but Amanda makes the podcast! Lmao. Okay I love you both and both are essential. Please lock Amanda in long term. I want to listen to the two of you for atleast the next 20 years.

[@Aquamoongirl13]

If Amanda leaves I’m gone too😢 not that it matters to anyone. I just love her lol

[@organiclady]

@@Aquamoongirl13 haha I totally love her, too. I think Nick is smart enough to get a long commitment from her and treat her good

[@angelaamber]

Seeing this comment after she's left, this episode randomly popped up & I actually can't stand listening to the podcast now with Natalie & Ciara. It's gotten so horrible. Wish he kept Ali & Amanda around. Their dynamic was amazing

[@marou55ia_]

Loving the 3 hours situation 😍

[@assyrianprincess3]

Last caller: the way you got em is the way you lose em. He was very shady with how he got with his roommates ex.

[@kymberliethefreespiritedone]

Great listen! I love love this show!

[@rachelmcclard276]

The therapy evangelism in this episode was gross. It felt like I was being preached at. One of my least favorite episodes to date and I’m an avid listener.

[@peidan86]

It is unbelievable how many people bought it in the comments - so they actually believe how hard it is for men in this world? Give me a break.

[@Joan-COYI]

Well said. I’m so disappointed and annoyed I’m skipping through it.

[@jennyonthecoast]

highly suggest watching the Huberman podcast on fear....It's that moment before the change we're most afraid of.

[@ErinFessler]

Really could not enjoy listening to Lewis. Feels like he says nothing of substance while talking a lot.

[@Badnewsfeminist]

Glad I wasn’t the only one

[@EveieBee]

def agreed with that

[@dr_power.]

Too much jargon

[@mayzielofgran5767]

@@dr_power.😂

[@purehoneyy.b]

Bingo

[@MrBOOBOORO]

Wow that last call was rough…Nick and the Lewis laughing condescendingly is why I see Nick not working well with another man as a co-host. Gives off douche energy…

[@0104blackpearl]

The women keep him grounded 😂

[@lydiawaybright5627]

loved everything about this episode

[@jennyonthecoast]

The last caller was highly disappointing where he talked about wanting to yell and curse someone out. It just felt like such toxic reactions without feedback on healthy communication.

[@aljashiferr]

Agreed! His inexperience is showing and it was kind of insufferable

[@harrylederman1679]

I don't think you've had a more articulate and intelligence person on ever as a guest.... What a great guy and someone we really should emulate

[@nafafonafafofo]

I felt a lot of misogyny in the interview. He will never understand how hard it actually is to be a woman

[@M6O21I]

The story about the woman who dressed like a man for a year was sooooo cringe! Like maybe some self reflection could be involved- ask what you did to piss of your date??? Why is she suddenly rolling her eyes- I’m sure it’s not for zero reason! Plenty of bisexual women in the world will tell you dating women is not all sunshine and rainbows but it’s certainly usually a safer space and you generally feel more respected. And then let’s ask that same person how many times she literally feared for her life while dealing with a man and maybe just maybe she’ll understand why we’re defensive. 🙄

[@catherineritch6241]

@@M6O21I i’m just listening to it now. Yes it was very cringe.She dressed like a man so did she fool her dates? Did these women think she was actually a man? Number two she said she knew what it felt like to be a man? Especially when the women would give her a look. That makes no sense.

[@0104blackpearl]

Lewis videos are usually long in general! Don’t mind long Ask Nick episodes though. 😌 The last caller sounded like he just experienced his first real relationship and that’s why he can’t shut up about it! 😂 Happens to us all.

[@nk47100]

Lewis with the first guy… too much psychoanalysis and self help talk - this isn’t costing him his dreams and he’s likely not playing out old traumas and wounds, come on. It’s a crush and yes, maybe is going on too long, so getting clarity is good. He’s 24, it’s not a big deal. If this goes on for years or becomes a habit of how he interacts with potential love interests, okay, but come on - let’s not get so dramatic here

[@catherineritch6241]

Agreed. All the guy had to do is tell his friend that he was gay. And his friend would’ve answered the same thing or he would’ve said I’m not. He would’ve saved two years. Some young guys do use the ‘cute’ emoji’s .Tney are still straight bros.😊

[@TNDRAV]

I just told this to my friend yesterday!!! Wow I need to be a relationship counselor lol 😂 ❤

[@candy07831]

The description of the final caller isn’t even accurate…she didn’t cheat on the caller with the roommate

[@candy07831]

3 hours is crazyyy

[@organiclady]

It is but I am doing my cleaning at the same time so it’s actually a great length for me today lol I have a lot of cleaning to do.

[@sanaasayedd]

@@organicladyI’m not the only one who listens to Nick when I’m cleaning! I get so much done 😅

[@Aquamoongirl13]

In the best way

[@purehoneyy.b]

It's Lewis it should even be longer lol

[@zumo12476]

@@organicladyyou just gave me the best idea! Instead of cleaning I’m going to wrap all my family gifts which will probably take me that long! 😂

[@olgacotto7915]

Great episode!

[@catherineritch6241]

For the first caller, my advice would be to just tell him him from the beginning that he was gay. And if the other guy was gay, he would’ve said. I’m gay too. You would’ve saved two years. Emoji’s are just emojis. I guess sometimes they can get misinterpreted.

[@CourtneyAnderson-nn7gg]

Here’s a Game… How many times does the caller say LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE?!?

[@AmandaClemens-j9s]

Lewis talks too much, and not the good kind of talk. I’m sensing toxic masculinity

[@purehoneyy.b]

Yea he's good in some ways, but there's always been a very tangible immaturity, I've always felt this from him despite his consistent fabulous guests

[@jordanmccorvey2786]

For the loveee add timestamps!

[@RachASMR]

Omg the last caller, awful.

[@T8_phantastic]

Awful for the guy or what the girl did?

[@ningyding]

I liked this guest!

[@rhondasantos573]

First call starts at 39 min in.

[@live.life.unpacked3762]

Give me all the Lewis Howes and Nick Viall!!! ❤ Was so excited to see this guest!

[@alampignano]

Hmm. I understand Nick's and Lewis's point of view regarding the 54 year old leaving the relationship. However, I'm guessing she'll be running back to this guy soon enough. Their relationship had a lot of great pieces to it, but he's been feeling insecure, which is often the case when someone picks up that their partner might be ambivalent or pulling away. If this man felt free to express openly, also a topic of discussion in this podcast about how men feel judged when vulnerable, he may say he's picked up that he's nervous she'll leave. Clearly he's right. It's hard to find a good, honest partner and it's not easy at age 54 to meet someone who had it all perfect. Everyone comes with stuff. I hope she's happy, wherever life is meeting her now, 6 months from when this was aired.

[@user-yx7rm4vl5v]

Love Lewis Howes!!!

[@Ivonn930]

I‘m a huge Lewis fan! Thanks for having him on ❤

[@rhondasantos573]

3rd call starts 2:21

[@sophie9658]

The last calling…. Jeez doesn’t sound like a ‘nice guy’ as they keep calling him. He sounds controlling and really intense. Obviously she really didn’t treat him well but as always here we’re getting one side of the story. 35 and sounds like he’s 22… at first the roommate became a friend which is how he met his ex, then all of a sudden it didn’t matter that it was his ROOMMATES EX of 2 YEARS. Sorry but it was pretty clear…

[@kkeiter]

No wonder he's losing women... starting a relationship in therapy. Hmmmkayyyy

[@heatherjohnston5763]

Lewis is the best guest

[@organiclady]

He is awesome.

[@purehoneyy.b]

No, David Goggins would be the best, Andrew Huberman, Joe Rogan would, Russell Brand, etc. Lewis is mediocre at best but definetly a step up !

[@organiclady]

@@purehoneyy.b I don’t like Joe Rogan or Russell Brand. No thanks.

[@organiclady]

@@purehoneyy.bno, I know your kind well. Russell brand is a major loser, you should reassess the people you admire. Lmao. You prob love Trump as well.

[@purehoneyy.b]

​@@organiclady😂👍

[@rhondasantos573]

2nd call starts at 126

[@EveieBee]

Wasnt the biggest fan of this one ... felt a bit patronizing

[@florence55999]

It would be nice if you guys could put trigger warning especially when talking about SA. Thanks

[@dastexan]

I’m in southtrxa

[@jessicacuff]

This is SOOOO FUC*ED uuuuuuuPPPP 😩

[@sarawilliams8605]

I don't usually care, but I want to see this guy's face...for a few reasons...

[@CjaneCjane]

Why do they wear headphones when they are in ear shot range? Silly. Educate me.

[@HelloBombshell21]

That last guy was such a selfish inconsiderate lying misogynist coward I could recite what he would say next like a script before he said it. Glad she got out.

[@cindicleee]

❤❤❤

[@lomonneka]

This man is not it

[@marilynhuntley9679]

Omg Nick you talk too much. Cut your phone calls down please. It is boring to just listen to you go on and on and on.

[@sarawilliams8605]

Lewis was amazing!!!!

[@marilynhuntley9679]

The show is too long and I am ou

[@CjaneCjane]

The first caller is not being sincere and far from authentic. He just wants to hear himself talk and get some attention. That he got.

[@CrowdFave]

Caller 2: he doesn't trust me, and I don't know why Also, caller 2: I have a lot of guy friends, I refuse to make my IG private, I have prior commitment issues, and I let my daughter influence my choice in men. Lady, you're 54 and you have a great guy, settle. You're too old for the paradox of choice. Swear, if you ladies just watched one full episode of Fresh & Fit, the dating market would fix itself. Also, it was so refreshing hearing you guys speak on mens issues in front of a woman audience. A lot of them just dont understand how we live completely different lives.

[@catherineritch6241]

If her IG is not private, then half those men or most of them are scammers course they’ll flaunt you and they’ll give you all the attention lol My IG was private because I kept getting many many men friending me and they’re all scammers delete delete delete

[@MMConner]

@KeyasWorld 👀

[@AmandaClemens-j9s]

Lewis talks too much, and not the good kind of talk. I’m sensing toxic masculinity

[@CrowdFave]

What is toxic masculinity?

[@0104blackpearl]

You obviously have not listened to any of his videos or known him prior to this interview. He’s not toxic at all actually.

[@CrowdFave]

@@0104blackpearl she just throws buzz words without knowing the definition.

[@0104blackpearl]

The man can talk, but I’ve never heard him say anything toxic! 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@Agata_Balbina]

I sense pop psychology...